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12:15 AM
@AndrewSavinykh What is that cert? Does it mean no TIO after 7th Feb?
 
well everyone will get browser warnings. Not sure if the site will stay functional, it might be it migth be not
And of course if hosting is not paid for it will shut the site down regardles of the cert
 
12:42 AM
@AndrewSavinykh Have you been able to contact Dennis lately? I'm a bit worried not because of TIO, but that something might have happened to him
 
Last time I heard from him was 3rd of Jan
 
 
13 hours later…
1:24 PM
I'm given to understand that he's given up his diamond(s) in the aftermath of the Monica situation; I don't recall that he said he was giving up or shutting down TIO, but he also went through a bout of health problems last summer, so ... well, if someone's got the time and resources, it might be worth thinking about forking and setting up a new one.
 
 
3 hours later…
4:39 PM
Hey all. I'm sorry for disappearing on you and for taking bad care of TIO lately. I'll try to explain what's been happening, although it's not easy for me to talk about this...
41
I've been dealing with mental health issues for a little over four years now. It all started with fibromyalgia, mainly pain in my legs that made it difficult to walk, without a physical cause. This soon was accompanied by depression, which got pretty severe. I barely had any desire to live in 2017. Working on TIO actually was one of the very few healthy things that brought me joy during that period.
I was much better already, less depressed and with less pain, but I started to get pretty severe anxiety in 2019. In June, I started to get tinnitus. This constantly reminded me that there was something wrong with me, making the anxiety worse. In July, I felt like I was literally dying all the time, which is why I was barely here anymore during that time.
After a few weeks and several doctor appointments, I eventually convinced myself that there was nothing physically wrong with me. I was still anxious, but no longer to the point where I felt I was going to die. By that time, I had lost a little over 10 kg (22 lbs) in roughly a month. I had been too afraid of food to ingest all the calories I needed...
I'm not sure what exactly triggered it, but the anxiety eventually got worse again; it might be related to returning my diamond. Phone notifications freaked me out, afraid of what they might be about, unable to check. While working on TIO, I was constantly afraid of messing up the servers. Not wanting to get back to how things were in July, I turned of pretty much all notifications on my phone. I didn't notify you at this point, because I though it would only be for a few days.
I was eventually unable to even enter this chat room, worried everybody would be mad for disappearing. Today is the first time in weeks I managed to log in...
If you never experienced anything liek this, it probably sounds a little pathetic. But anyway, that's what's been happening to me and why I was so unavailable lately.
3
@Pavel I definitely want to keep maintaining, but I cannot guarantee I'll be able to.
If you want to set up your own backend, I'll certainly try to help.
If somebody of you is interested, I could give your access to the servers and we'd keep them in shape together. It doesn't have to be all the time, but it would be nice to have somebody to fall back on if I become incapacitated again.
@LuisMendo Sorry for not responding earlier, I wasn't really checking my email either...
@Adám I'd like to try coming back first. If I can't, I'll transfer the domains to someone who wants to keep it going.
The backend stability issues can hopefully be resolved by setting up fresh servers. After fixing the outdated build scripts, I'll try that.
@AndrewSavinykh Thank you for the reminder. I just renewed the certs.
Since they are wildcard certs, I sadly cannot auto-renew them. I would have to store a DigitalOcean API key to perform the DNS challenges automatically, granting full control over my DO account...
@JeffZeitlin While not the cause of my absence, the the Monica situation hasn't helped matters. Being a Code Golf mod was important to me. Leaving the way I did made me either sad or angry every time I visited the site...
 
5:34 PM
@Dennis I'm very sorry about that. You mentioned some health problems in the past, but I didn't know what they were about. I hope you feel better now (the fact that you came back suggests so). If there's a anythoin I can do to help please let me know.
And it probably goes withput mentioning , but I (and probably all of us) really appreciate what you do, but it shouldn't be a cause of stress. No-one would be entitled to be mad or anything just because you don't feel like entering here
@Dennis It doesn't sound pathetic at all. Health issues can be strange, specially for those not having those. I also have a (mild) tinnitus, and even though it doesn't bother me (I feel like it's always been there), if it was louder it could be very annoying
@Dennis Have you considered coming back? I also disagree about the company's decisions, but the company was not the reason you did it anyway...
 
Thank you. I seem to be better, yes.
 
Glad to hear that!
Also, I'm no expert in medicine, but from what I've read, talking about it probably helps more than you realize
 
5:51 PM
Doing it this publicly wasn't easy though. I hadn't done that before.
 
How many coffee do you drink for day?
 
@LuisMendo That's true, but I probably don't need the extra responsibilities right now.
 
@Dennis I can totally understand. I'm not sure I could have done it. But I think you've done the right thing. It most likely helps, and certainly can't hurt
 
@RosLuP I wasn't drinking any coffee when the anxiety was at its worst.
 
@Dennis I don't know about configuring or running servers, but if can be of help with maybe boring tasks such as pulling languages or doing some sort of maintenance I can learn, I'd be happy to help
 
6:01 PM
@Dennis, nobody I know - or would want to know - is going to be upset/annoyed/angry that you did what you needed to do to take care of Dennis first. That you can come in here and talk about it is one of the things I believe most psychologically-trained people would consider a good sign; in any case, you should do what you need to to "get your head" where you want it to be.
26
@Dennis - While I have few if any skills that could transfer to assisting with TIO (I'm principally a Windows User Support guy), I'm willing to learn and to help.
 
For anxiety I would suggest pray God and walk,but in these time , with virus with pollution with cars i don't know if it is sure
 
@RosLuP - Prayer, meditation, deep breathing, ... any of those can work; the common factor, and one of the things that helps most, is setting aside the time to concentrate on oneself, on calmness and stillness, and on right now - not worrying about The Next Issue Coming Down or The Last Thing That Happened.
 
6:24 PM
Yes ok agree, but one has to do some moving some little sport some little physic exercise
Too
Yes it is some time even I not run for jogging so much because I fear to fall and because family problem too...but some movement is necessary even if one walk in the house
 
7:01 PM
Yes ok agree, but one has to do some moving some little sport some little physic exercise too. Yes it is some time even I do not run for jogging, because I fear to fall and because family problem too...but some movement is necessary even if one walk in the house or do some on home bicycle
 

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