The Awkward Silence - 2018-02-19 (page 1 of 2)

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1:31 AM

@apaul lol

1:44 AM

@AJ Clearly not an aic, right?

2:17 AM

@apaul aic?

Answer in comments

user15026

oh, thats what that means.

3:31 AM

My best friend just sent me this, it isn't what it looks like. Give it a shot.

T & P Makeup Look

@Ash cc

3:45 AM

@Catija cc too, wouldn't want you to feel left out ;)

For those that couldn't be bothered, it's the "thoughts and prayers" makeup look. Social commentary on the state of affairs in my country. Pretty good one, for what it's worth.

user15026

4:20 AM

@apaul I love her videos

user15026

(Also I like her voice.)

@Ash that one was a first for me, but I like the cut off her jib.

user15026

4:44 AM

SHe makes excellent points while also being damn hilarious

Always a nice feature.

John Oliver is the man for all that, by the way.

user15026

He can be sometimes yes I suppose

5:03 AM

I still miss Stewart, but Oliver is pretty good. Need my satire, makes the world slightly more tolerable.

who're we talking about?

user15026

I don't have conventional TV and most of that stuff is geolocked online for Canadians and tbh I am too lazy to find it

@Ash Don't have conventional tv either. Just Netflix and Hulu.

@AJ John Oliver and Jon Stewart.

user15026

@apaul No Hulu, because Canada, and that stuff isn't on Netflix here, because, Canada.

@Ash Damn that's harsh. Could spoof it with a VPN though?

user15026

5:09 AM

So it's work to find anywhere more than the odd clip that's not geolocked, and tbh I am too lazy to VPN because most of them get blocked after a while and it's work

user15026

I dislike my entertainment being work

@apaul ohh

Wait a minute... Almost felt bad for Canada...

Canada has us beat hands down on enough things that I'mma choose not to feel guilty about Hulu ;)

user15026

Okay.

Jokes, just jokes...

user15026

5:11 AM

Okay.

Ya'know that feeling when you almost made a human connection about a common interest. But, well, not? These are the things that baffle me about IPS.

user15026

5:32 AM

Like so close, yet so far sorts of things?

More or less.

2 hours later…

7:31 AM

Our voting culture is rotten again! interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10624/… Is closed and should not have received 2 upvotes :/

Really guys, it's close and downvote, not close and upvote!

8:11 AM

POB - interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/1642/…

@Ash use Opera ;)

8:32 AM

@tink mind leaving AiC comment? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10500/…

@Mithrandir done. need a few votes to get it highlighted among other comments

Thanks

I was on mobile, couldn't do it myself ;)

@Mithrandir Is the phone okay? It didn't break, did it? ;P

the phone is fine, yes

@AJ (Why is that tagged spams instead of spam? "spams"... isn't really a word that's used.)

@Mithrandir Where is your laptop? Did your mother took it after you posted a picture of yourself with that laptop on your head on the internet? ;-P

8:45 AM

@Mithrandir no idea, can't change it now :/

@Mithrandir Oh. I heard it a couple of times. And I thought it would be used like questions and answers

The colloquial term is "spam".

@AJ right here, I'm on it now ;)

@Mithrandir ohh

So like, we'll say "there was a lot of spam today", not "there were a lot of spams today".

I can't edit it now. It shows an error popup.

8:48 AM

Yep, you'll need a mod like @Catija to rename it.

well, it doesn't really matter that much now I don't think

yeah

9:00 AM

why so silent, @Tinkeringbell?

still crocheting?

@AJ Working ;)

:P

Heavily leaning towards making a meta on our voting culture

We upvote way too much crap, and we downvote way too little IMO

Anyone else notice that too? Or is it just grumpy old me?

...this seems like a one-line answer; what do ya'll think?

@Tinkeringbell I agree with that but I doubt a meta post will really help.

A large percentage of voters here are 101-rep users.

I'm wondering just how many? Can I look that up in SEDE?

9:04 AM

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users?tab=Voters&filter=all

@Mithrandir Wow... I'm shocked by the nr. 1...

me too

I am on #10

Personally, I think everyone's vote counts should look more like mine ;)

user image

user image

But yeah, 101 rep users can't downvote, but they'd at least could have the decency to upvote less?

I really still think I'd make a meta, same as the community one..

'How can we promote a healthy and critical voting culture'

101-rep users won't be reading meta.

(Sorry if I'm being pessimistic...)

9:10 AM

Also true... still, I dunno, if we do nothing no-one ever will know how f-ed up our voting culture really is? And the problems it causes?

Totally unrelated: I find the kids at ~2:40 in this music video amusing: youtu.be/uhzi7Shi2H0

@Tinkeringbell I mean, a meta post can't hurt, I just don't think that it'll actually solve the problem.

Then how do we solve it?

I'm inclined to think that pretty much the only way is to change the way the association bonus works....

Either 101-rep users should be allowed to downvote or not allowed to upvote.

And I don't think that's going to ever happen :(

Well, I'll just keep on being very disappointed then

Well, that's interesting. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/…

9:20 AM

@Mithrandir Yep... over 6 pages of closed posts, and only the last 2 have any posts with downvotes on them. I told you our voting culture was waaay off

casts 200+ downvotes :P

I wonder if we can start deleting some of that stuff...

Remember that deleting useful content, even closed, is discouraged.

delete ones with no answers

@AJ Those will be deleted by roomba

@Mithrandir but what is useful if it has 111 upvotes and is primarily opinion based and just showing a bad example for the site?

9:23 AM

@Tinkeringbell are they?

@AJ Yes, that one just isn't old enough to be cleaned up

@Tinkeringbell "useful" can be quite subjective. Also, high scored != useful.

@Mithrandir Soo, another meta post on what is useful?

On what should stay?

shrugs

Just use your judgement.

Because everytime I think 'rubbish, can go' I get scolded that 'it may be useful'

9:25 AM

If you think it should go, cast a delete vote.

A singe vote won't delete it.

@Mithrandir Done.

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to properly reject an intimate suggestion?

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to make friends during class?

This one is already at 6 delete votes, could use 2 more: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/2241/…

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to make friends during class?

waits for more

9:35 AM

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to share a flat with people who don't speak any language I know?

(@Mith careful, I only have 10 delete votes left now :P )

I just found a good query though... :P

And I have only 2 now.

@Mithrandir Let's say you can post 5 each day :P

@Mithrandir I flagged this one in past, but it was declined I guess.

9:36 AM

Anyway, I actually have to do something else now...

@AJ here's an example of cleanup because it was old enough: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/10358/…

hmm

At your example, the last comment was feb 14th, so I'd just wait a few days more :)

sure

I think it may actually be deleted tonight or tomorrow ;)

> If the question was closed more than 9 days ago, and ...

not closed as a duplicate
has a score of 0 or less
is not locked
has no answers with a score > 0
has no accepted answer
has no pending reopen votes
has not been edited in the past 9 days
... it will be automatically deleted. These are "abandoned closed", and are termed as RemoveAbandonedClosed.

9:51 AM

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to respond when someone tells you about their failure

flag-pls, del-pls | NaA (non-IPS answer) | Ask for support with weight loss, without sounding tedious

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | Ask for support with weight loss, without sounding tedious

Okay, I'm done for now.

There are ~50 more where those came from.

@Mithrandir We can work through the list in a week then ;)

outta votes

I really hope we can get some of the high voted questions deleted. Some of them have been visible for more than 60 days, so deleting them won't harm people's reputation (but will prevent them from gaining more from a bad question)

(I really need to get enough rep to VTD.)

Just go answering everything there is. There's more people doing that, at least now there's a person that will be responsible about the privileges they're getting :P

9:57 AM

I can't write good IPS answers though :P

I don't have the necessary experience in most of the matters that people ask about here.

Then ask a lot of questions? :P

That would require *gulps* actually interacting with people, though!

I can answer stuff here, but recently most questions were about dating. And I don't have good experience about it.

I can go for etiquette and conversations etc.

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ | How to politely end old friendships?

(found naturally)

still alive

10:40 AM

→ 332 messages moved to trash

@Mithrandir ??

...derp

that didn't work how I expected it to

Yeah, what was that about??

sorry, srry

It's okay, it wasn't that important anyways I think? ;) But what were you trying?

10:42 AM

I was just trying to remove the bot's messages and... apparently hiding people's posts doesn't prevent them from being selected.

Ah well, today you learned ;)

oh poop, misclicked on a close vote review :/

Closed or left open?

You can still find the post and cast one otherwise ;)

← 122 messages moved from trash

left open

and yeah I did

10:45 AM

What's too broad about that one?

← 121 messages moved from trash

I mean, I don't necessarily dislike closing old questions, but we should at least provide a reasoning, also for the OP to see...

Especially when closing after a long time I think

← 39 messages moved from trash

whew, I think that's all of 'em

or wait, no, there are more

Relax, you could just have left them ;)

I was invited to chat

Hi

10:52 AM

Hai o/

Mith is doing stuff, don't mind him

@AnneDaunted Hello :) We should invite people more often ;)

@Tinkeringbell One of them was mine.

@AnneDaunted Any special reason for that?

The explanation: In case of somewhat troubled OPs, I think it's best to keep it around zero

@AnneDaunted That goes for suicide letters, not bad questions I believe?

Really, we need this stuff at at least -3, so people won't see it and won't answer it (also not answer it in comments)

10:55 AM

@Tinkeringbell yes, maybe I'm a bit more liberal about it

Otherwise, every OP here is troubled... I'm harsh, but I repeat: We're not a site for warm chocolate and hugs :/

@Tinkeringbell Well, my close vote closed it, so no one could write an answer anymore

Didn't really think about AiCs

@Tinkeringbell But there's surely a difference between "see my abusive father again" and "how to tell that lovely gal that I don't want to touch her boobs"

@AnneDaunted Still, I don't think both warrant keeping the question at zero and visible

I don't think we should make consideration for OPs state of mind when voting for a post

@JAD I've created a feature request to prevent things like that from happening again: meta.stackexchange.com/q/307135/294691

Introverted Meta Man.

11:04 AM

1

Q: Can you help me understand why this closed question is going to be deleted?

This Q (not mine) which was closed as too broad a long time back, has now attracted 6 delete votes: How to make a weird guy stop touching me? According to the help centre, When should I delete questions? Closed questions that are of no lasting value whatsoever should be flagged and de...

11:16 AM

@Mithrandir mine is more like 300 up and 200 down, but i do pick my votes carefully

@RoryAlsop you're a mod, what is a potential merge candidate?

That's for duplicate questions right?

Yep, only for exact dupes.

All answers from the one being merged will be transferred to the one that it's being merged into.

Hang on, I did it the other day...

Here: literature.stackexchange.com/q/5617/58

Okay. Thanks, then I'm done with the meta answer :)

flag-pls, del-pls | VLQ / NaA | How do I indicate sarcasm/irony online?

Plus there are some AiCs on the question.

Hee, just found this old comment:

'Noses are optional' - I think dear old Voldy took that a little too far, don't you think? Just a smidgen? — Arwen Undómiel Jun 28 '17 at 14:46

11:33 AM

@Mithrandir Why delete that one, instead of improve it with the sources in the comments?

@Tinkeringbell Feel free to... but it doesn't really seem worth it. I also can't decide if it's actually an IPS answer or not.

@Mithrandir Uhmm.. then the whole Q is off-topic ;)

Because this is exactly what the question is asking for ..

Yeah, I was considering that too ;)

@Tinkeringbell sorry - was browsing holiday options :-) @Mithrandir has it right

Hmm... can anyone finagle a way to edit the title here to something that looks less POB?

11:50 AM

@Magisch So you disagree with interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/1376/2625 ?

@Mithrandir How to respond to someone who assumes that our children believe in Santa Claus?

Still sounds POB - there's no goal how they want to respond.

How to communicate to strangers that we don't want our children to believe in Santa Claus when they ask them?

that's better

@RoryAlsop No worries ;) Found a nice place?

Since we are discussing bad content

"How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?"

Go shopping somewhere else

score of +57

12:05 PM

@AnneDaunted Sssshhhh! Don't mention that one, I already had a fight over that one to the point of this chatroom being invaded by people from the workplace ;)

That's no surprise

There's a cheat code for TWP

as well as a "try this" answer interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/6172/31

With a bounty, juk!

What to do about them?

You could raise mod flag on them, although I'm not sure whether they'll pass...

12:08 PM

First see what the LQP queue makes of 'em, then flag for mod attention.

I did that on the 'street-vendor/all guys are creepy' question a few weeks back. The flag was accepted but the question is still there, still not closed.

NAA goes to VLQ?

yep

Flagged 'em both

...lovely, I've cast 25 downvotes today.

12:10 PM

@Mithrandir I will change the title accordingly, ok?

@AnneDaunted go ahead

that short unintentional eye contact question - could it be turned into an etiquette question?

not sure, VTC

but the dog petting question should be salvageable

close-pls | POB | What should I do with a short, unintentional eye contact?

close-pls | POB | Should I speak in Japanese or English to the “foreign-looking” kombini employee?

@Mithrandir if we're going to close 'should I' questions en-masse, shouldn't we be leaving some kind of comment for the OP's?

meh, you can

12:18 PM

I mean, we allow etiquette questions

The dog petting one - maybe change the title a bit?

Well, it would make sense to do so before stocking the close-vote queue, so people get some info on why an old/ancient question suddenly should be close-voted...

@AnneDaunted Any change would massively invalidate the existing answer I believe :/

@Tinkeringbell Not necessarily

I mean we could try to get rid of the "Should" and replace it with "etiquette"

perhaps

@AnneDaunted That answer is entirely comprised of 'yes, ask, because'... there isn't anything on 'how to ask'...

etiquette for petting strange dogs? :/

the written and unwritten - but well-established and expected - rules or conventions of behavior in a specific setting (also called etiquette).

@AnneDaunted tossed it an edit

12:22 PM

certainly applies to meeting a stranger's dog

@Tinkeringbell That answer also focuses entirely on safety and not etiquette.

looks better now!

Hmm, my answer there isn't that great either :/

> Don't touch anyone or anything without asking.

I like the second answer more than the first :P

"How should one respond to trivial, obvious questions?" -> "How do I respond to a seemingly trivial and obvious question?"?

12:25 PM

This answer - interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/3434/31 - doesn't seem to be an IPS answer, though.

@AnneDaunted Still is too broad?

@Tinkeringbell But the first one: rescued doggie!

@AnneDaunted Nope, still POB. Doesn't say how they want to respond/what the goal is.

@AnneDaunted Yeah, so warm chocolate and hugs

@AnneDaunted honestly tempted to flag as NaA

12:27 PM

@Mithrandir VTC and left comment

@Mithrandir Don't, that one will get you a declined flag (or disputed) :P

But it doesn't address the interpersonal question there.

Maybe bring it up on Interpersonal Skills Meta...

@Mithrandir The question was 'should I ask'... and the answer is yes, or you'll get bitten by my poor rescued doggie

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to tell a coworker that we dont want him to come with us at lunch?

We have a coworker who is very... "special". He always want to be in top of every topic and dont let other people expose their opinions. Hes not a bad person at all, but this has come to a point that other coworkers dont want come with that guy, and is fragmenting our office group. Hes not even a...

work-environment

But that doesn't change that we're still a site about interpersonal skills.

And that the answer makes no reference to interpersonal skills at all.

Perhaps interspecies skills, but that's not the same :P

12:30 PM

Just saying, it's a good answer for the original question... but now that it's edited, less so

I think you could put that one (the whole question) on meta maybe

but this is a special case, since a dog is involved

so it has to be taken into account

unlike, for example, that "go shopping somewhere else" answer

Can we focus on closing that newest question first? :P

COMMENTS PILEON

Hah, at least we're all of a similar mind ;)

→ 3 messages moved to trash

12:35 PM

Hah, @AnneDaunted you lost, you triggered the bot :P Your time to buy a treat :P

@Mithrandir can we do something about that regex? How?

Okay, so I buy a treat and then ... eat it?

@AnneDaunted Oh sure, but share ;)

@Tinkeringbell depends what you mean by "do something"

Okay, I'll do

@Mithrandir Either fine-tune it or get rid of it entirely

12:37 PM

Do you have any ideas for fine-tuning?

Or I might be able to whitelist Anne :P

Oh, I think Catija is white-listed too?

Sure, but do we really prefer to white-list tens of users?

Maybe it's better to black-list the ones that write AiC's?

@Tinkeringbell that'd be a bad idea

we don't want to single out users in public like that

@Mithrandir Ah.

No way to hide it?

No damage done

Btw., I share with you the knowldege that it was really delicious

@AnneDaunted Hahaha :P You're mean. Well, at least I have a banana (it's a bit too healthy to be a treat, but at least it's a snack!)

12:40 PM

/munching on peanuts

user image

Everyone's eating now

@Mithrandir charcoal does it?

As part of other filters... just having a "list of bad users" doesn't strike me as a good thing.

@Mithrandir How about seeing it a containment area for contageous people? :P

I understand though, might not be the best idea :)

12:49 PM

At least we would have a livelier meta ;-)

9 more CV review for a silver badge :D

SE should sell uniforms to attach the badges to

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10639/1599 Really, sometimes sighs I still have a comment out asking for clarification on exactly that point!

Anyways, flagged that as NAA since it doesn't answer the question asked

So, have you tried addressing his behavior (the shouting/arguing) and how? How has it come to a point where you decide exorcising him from the group is the only possibility? — Tinkeringbell 5 mins ago

not sure if it's as bad as to warrant exorcisms

@JAD They want to get rid of something they consider evil, from a group. I think the word is nice :)

1:01 PM

The drawback of being the fastest gun in the West

I'd use excommunicating

@JAD Might have been better yes, now that you mention it... but well, I can't change it. Let's hope the OP answers that question as well..

This might actually solve their problem

The Exorcist (2/5) Movie CLIP - Projectile Vomit (1973) HD

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. Occasionally, colleagues will come over to discuss/ask about something we've been working on, d...

conversations work-environment colleagues

Is putting up a sign an IPS solution?

1:06 PM

no, but having a mouth full of food, spitting all over them while trying to respond is

Which should stop the attempts soon enough

It seems that the above video is also a good solution to this question

xd

"Do you like pea soup as much as I do?"

And now they deleted everything (I mean the earlier question)

> Hey Cthulhu, once your lunch is done

One of the weirdest things I've typed so far I think :P

@AnneDaunted I'm seeing that a little bit too much lately, and am wondering how to stop that? I mean, people here are putting time up writing comments and stuff, and as soon as someone decides they don't want to answer one or something stuff gets deleted?

This one popped up in the first posts queue, shouldn't that be closed as too broad/opinion based/off-topic (should I)?

10

Q: Everyone avoids me due to conversations where I am boring

To be honest I have always lacked humor and now I am thinking about my current position. I am a student currently at my last year of schooling; after that I would be in college. I am very concerned about my position in the near future. I am not very good at cracking jokes or delivering funny line...

1:31 PM

@Tinkeringbell I don't think it's great either

But I don't know what to do about it

Guess their problem was not that urgent after all

(we could jump on every question and write an upvoted answer, so that it can't be deleted :P )

Btw., your coworkers call you Cthulhu?

You certainly know how to gain your coworkers' respect, if not outright fear

@AnneDaunted Yeah:

97

A: A Moose, Some Silly Putty ... And A Desperate Plea For Help

Great Old One Simply looking upon the creature drives the viewer insane. Materials used: A jar of gluten-free, edible kids glue 1 non-edible glue brush Edible green glitter 1 dark green felt-tip Green paper, 6 A5 sized sheets and 1 A4 sized Storebought green paper strips Childproof sciss...

@AnneDaunted hahaha ;) I have them all trembling on their knees :P

@Tinkeringbell Yes, too broad for sure

VTC

@AnneDaunted Added mine as well, and a comment

IPS Comment Bot

1:47 PM

I've no idea how common this is in the UK, but are you sure there aren't any facilities designated for lunch break at your company? There are various reasons you should not eat lunch at your desk. So avoid doing that altogether, and not only solve the problem at hand but gain a couple of other benefits too. — MarioDS 16 secs ago

#10641 MarioDS (101 rep) | Q: How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break? (score: 7) | posted 46 minutes ago by Cthulhu (206 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["you\\W(really)?(need\\Wto|should)"]

@AnneDaunted The solution is to have at least one upvoted answer :-)

Oh - I see @Tink already said that

:-)

@RoryAlsop But I'm not a fan of upvoting an answer just so an OP can't delete a question :P

@Tinkeringbell presses button

@Tinkeringbell I went and read it again, and was about to comment about the edible glue - and realised I already had. My brain is obviously old...

@Tinkeringbell You can also VTUD.

1:57 PM

@RoryAlsop Hahaha ;)

@Mithrandir But if an OP deleted it, I'm not going to. It probably won't be improved

2:17 PM

Posting it here, because it is a very good one:

Ph'nglui mglw'ah Cthulhu R'lyeh desk'nagl fhtagn - At his desk in R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu sits eating. (probably) — walrus 3 mins ago

@Tinkeringbell there's a VLQ answer there

@Mithrandir Not going to do the commenting, would seem like conflict of interest?

(Astralbees is very similar to mine on the IPS part, and largely non-ips too, but they already dislike me so...)

I'm on mobile again, but I left a comment.

@Mithrandir Good :) Thank you :)

2:35 PM

@Tinkeringbell a few. Trying to narrow down from Iceland, Denmark, Santorini and the Norfolk Broads...

@RoryAlsop All sound great :)

But I think only Santorini will give any guarantees for sunshine? :P

2:46 PM

@Tinkeringbell Well - might just take my wife their for anniversary, as she likes the sun and the kids to Norfolk and Denmark, as they like quirky

@Tinkeringbell I'm not a fan of temperatures over 18C, so the further north the better

Is calling people 'choleric' rude? It supposed to just mean bad-tempered or rude, but it somehow sounds like it would be received a lot worse, like retarded is only meant to mean 'being behind in physical and pshychological development' but is name-calling as well?

@RoryAlsop Oh sure, go twice :P I like 20-24, but nothing over that ;)

@Tinkeringbell I think in UK it would confuse people, as it is a bit archaic

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Deal with choleric colleagues for a few months

I'm a university student, and did, as my fellow classmates, a compulsary internship for a few months, during which I had no classes. I will graduate in June. I decided to do it quite far away, which involved moving and not seeing most of them (some came to visit). However, classes start again ...

europe rudeness college colleagues

62

A: Can I give flowers to a feminist as a present for hosting a party?

Are we over-thinking this? Yes, and massively. If she likes the flowers, then... excellent. If she's an equity feminist, she'll probably love the flowers. For the color, I suggest yellow, because the yellow ribbon was pretty much the official symbol of... If she goes on a rant AND you...

Voting to Close as too broad

My flag declined: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/6172/2625

My flag declined: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/4355/2625

@AnneDaunted People only look at the votes sometimes, not at the answer quality :(

2:51 PM

@AnneDaunted yeah, I raised a mod flag on that

Yes, not just sometimes

I think the feminist answer is already discussed on meta somewhere, but feel free to put something up...

I think a mod flag on the first one is appropriate..

@ExtrovertedMainMan Unclear what they're asking, lacking a goal we can address

2

Q: Does this highly-upvoted answer meet the quality standards?

In Can I give flowers to a feminist as a present for hosting a party?, the OP wondered whether it would be a good idea to gift flowers to a (female) feminist, because they were "afraid flowers could be understood by her as a gendered/stereotype/sexist present.". The OP asked three questions: ...

discussion answers

@AnneDaunted Flag it and link to the meta then...

I think if you can show that the community thinks it's a bad answer, the mods might be more inclined to delete it.

done

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