7:17 PM
My mother, my mentor, Mrs. Susan Moses, Zmira Leah bat Tzvi Halevi, aleha hashalom, passed away this past Wednesday night. I am sitting shiva until Thursday morning.
3
Until then, I'm not going to be participating on Mi Yodeya, as that is certainly an activity that brings me joy. I will, however, be present, sporadically, in this room, sitting e-shiva, if you will.
The doors are open in the same way that those of a physical "shiva house" are.
The eulogies at my mother's funeral captured a fraction of her goodness, and the one I delivered a fraction of that. I haven't asked for permission to share them all here, but here's mine:
> The Mishna tells us that the world depends on three things: Torah, Avoda, and Gemillut Chassadim: study of God’s Torah, Divine service, and acts of kindness. Mommy did all of these things, helping keep the world going. And she also tried, constantly, to improve herself, to help her family improve, and to help her community improve.
> Torah
A couple of years ago, Mommy and I each decided, independently, to join the new cycle of the Orthodox Union’s Nach Yomi program - studying one chapter per day of the books of the Prophets and Writings in the Bible. I didn’t manage to stick with the program to completion. Mommy also didn’t manage to get to the end, because the cycle ends in about six weeks. But she did stick with it, day after day, chapter after chapter. When she got sick, it eventually slowed her down, but she still tried to keep at it. If Mommy was still alive, we’d be making a siyum for her in a few weeks, and we…
> Maybe 20 years ago, Mommy decided, somehow, that she wasn’t doing enough. Somehow, she had extra time in her schedule, and she wanted to do something ongoing to help the school. So, she went to our principal, Mrs. Katz, and she asked for an assignment. Mrs. Katz introduced Mommy to a little boy from a Russian family who was being raised by a single mother, and who was struggling with his Hebrew reading, and she asked Mommy to tutor him in the Hebrew alphabet.
> So Mommy did, and of course, brought the boy and his mother into our home and helped them in other ways, too.
> Avoda - Divine service
Mommy davened every day, using her little, brown Rinat Yisrael siddur that she’d bought in Israel maybe 40 years ago, in front of the bookcase in the living room. Every day, right there.
> A few years ago, Mommy decided that she needed to improve her knowledge of the meanings of the prayers, and that others in the community might want to improve their knowledge, too. And again, somehow, determined that she had time for another project. So, she started a prayer class at shul. Each week, she would pick the next section, look in her stack of books, research ideas, and then give the class.
> Even when there were only one or two people attending regularly, Mommy kept learning and teaching, week after week.
> Once, when I was a boy, Mommy decided that it would be good for herself and for me to learn to tie tzitzit. I’m not sure how she decided on this project, but she did. So, she got a plain, four-cornered garment, tzitzit strings, and some instructional materials, and we learned how to do it together and tied tzitzit for me to wear.
> Gemillut Chassadim - Acts of Kindness
I don’t know where to start. Mommy was always looking out for other people. I can’t even scratch the surface of the thousands of kind things she did for the people around her. Talk to a few people who knew her, and each one will tell you about something else Mommy did, that the others might not have heard of. I’ll give you two little examples, besides the ones I’ve already mentioned.
> A few years ago, again, Mommy decided that she wasn’t doing enough good. Somehow, she had extra time and take on another responsibility to help her community. So, she joined the Chevra Kadisha, and started participating in rendering the final kindness to those who have passed on.
> About a year and a half ago, when it was time for my family to move cross-country, Mommy had already become ill, and had already started taking medications that weakened her. But, she wanted to help us move. So, she flew across the country, got in the car with us, and drove back across, helping occupy our kids on the long drive.
> Who knows what kind acts she would yet do, if she were still alive?
———
> Dayan Ha-emet, the One True Judge, sees the whole world and knows what’s right. But my perspective is limited. I see just my world, my family, and the people around my Mommy. And my world is teetering. Torah, Avoda, and Gemillut Chassadim: Our model for all of these has been taken from us.
Of local interest,
my mother contributed one answer on Mi Yodeya. More substantially, she proofread
Hagada - Mi Yodeya? and
Purim - Mi Yodeya?. I'm sure she would have helped with our other two publications if I'd asked her to, but she was ill when they were in production, and I didn't want to burden her.
