Can you provide some background for "generally find"? — ankii 1 min ago

No, the problem is still with the word generally. Is there a backup for that ? — ankii 13 secs ago

@ankii See the second paragraph. — nick012000 1 min ago

Hey there! We require answers here to be backed up by personal experience or external sources. So, could you edit to tell us about a similar situation you were in the past? Who was involved, what did you say and how did the other person react? — Ælis 1 min ago

Hey BobsYesUncle, welcome to IPS! Could you tell us a little bit more about what you have tried so far, how the conversation want and what makes you feel the other person think you are just "whiny"? Or maybe you have never open-up yet? If you didn't, could you tell us more about what you thought of doing and why you thought it would be perceived as "whiny"? — Ælis 2 mins ago

Hey there! We require answers here to be backed up by personal experience or external sources. So, could you edit to tell us about a similar situation you were in the past? Who was involved, what did you say and how did the other person react? Also, please note that the OP seems to want to avoid conflict, so could you clarify how your second suggestion wouldn't spark one? — Ælis 2 mins ago

(There is a word missing in the title.) — Arsak 1 min ago

@Arsak Oops, my bad, fixed now ^^' — Ælis 2 mins ago

What exactly do you expect from an answer? You seem to know what needs to be done: open up to a person you know well enough and have such a relationship with, but do it in a way that doesn't make you sound like what you call a "loser". That's really the answer already. With the information offered by you about your relationship and the specifics of your story, all that can be added will be based on a guess on how you handle such situations. It might be helpful to describe a situation that made you look like a "loser". — Raditz_35 2 mins ago

Its a good question and I up-voted it. I think a lot depends on the way that you tell the story, if you sound like Eeyore,it probably won't go too well . In addtion "I do this/think this because..." only works for so long, because the potential partner will want to see you moving beyond the past. — bigbadmouse 1 min ago

Have they tried your home-made beer? "He's always talking about beer ... and its amazing" has a different feel, right ? (yes I brew too). I don't think you need to "fix this", just let it "be" differently — bigbadmouse 2 mins ago

@ankii I'll try. Yes, I have had a very good life, thank you for asking. On another note - I'm puzzled why my answer was voted down, and I'd like to know. I do still find it hard to gauge other people's reasons, but all I can do is try to learn from my mistakes. — j4nd3r53n 2 mins ago

The best I can guess is lack of backup which can be similar personal incidents. Why do you think this would work, how did you use it. That's it. And your edit will allow people to reverse the downvote too. — ankii 2 mins ago

For the aftershave discussion, I'd like to point out that after wearing the same scent for a while you grow used to it, so you start putting more and more of it to get the same perceived sensation - this is a form of neural adaptation. People usually are not aware they're doing it, so if you point it out nicely, they can tone it down or even change it for a different aftershave / cologne since they got tolerant to the original one. — Juliana Karasawa Souza 31 secs ago

Hi AnonSydney, welcome to IPS! That's a (really too) long post you just did :/ Sorry, but I couldn't get through it... I fear many won't do either unfortunately. Is there a way you can skip some points without losing the core of the problem? Narrow down to less explanation without missing important information? At least, thanks for trying :) — OldPadawan 1 min ago

Hi, AnonSydney! Welcome to IPS! The way your question is written is not really fitting into our community guidelines here, since it is not clear what you're asking and what you already tried (especially to those of us who cannot access pastebin) — Juliana Karasawa Souza 40 secs ago

I've read the PasteBin post and while I have sympathy for your situation, I don't see a question there that fits this site. We are not a relationship advice site. What we can offer help on is interpersonal skills, so if you have resolved on doing a particular thing we can advise on some of the interpersonal skills involved in doing it. We can't tell you what to do. On a personal level I'll say: Love is a grand thing but it won't fix your life on its own, you have to deal with your marriage and other social issues in their own right. — Spagirl 1 min ago

I'm really sorry for your situation, but this is outside the scope of this site. We can advise you on interpersonal skills to help you achieve something once you have decided what it is you want to do, and only then to extent of the personal interaction aspects. Your family clearly needs help, but that probably needs to come from local social service providers and healthcare services. — Spagirl 2 mins ago

Given that you don't expect his behaviour to change, what outcome are you looking for? — Spagirl 1 min ago

@Spagirl please advise whether I should tell the Czech girl how I feel. What do you think is good for me. — AnonSydney 1 min ago

@AnonSydney as I've already said, 'We can't tell you what to do'. — Spagirl 48 secs ago

Hello network visitors! Please note that IPS is fairly strict about using comments as intended. Comments are only for clarifying and improving the question. Partial answers or general thoughts about the situation may be deleted without notice. If you'd like to write an answer, make sure to check out our posts on How do I write a good answer? and citation expectations first. Thanks! — Ælis 1 min ago

If she is showing injuries then there is something going on, I may not be so quick to dismiss her claims that a group of women caused it, the world is a crazy place lately. Perhaps try to encourage a change of scenery, if she claims they have followed her to swimming and the car park a different hang out spot may be safer — BKlassen 1 min ago

Could you describe some more context around when you start to discuss these issues with someone? Such as, when a relationship might have developed to the point that you want to open up this way, are there natural prompts you use to bring it up, and what, specifically, (if anything) you expect that sharing this knowledge to do? — Upper_Case 1 min ago

What is the timing of this situation like? How is it that your coworkers are able to consistently arrive at the donut area before you? Is the donut allocation system first-come-first-serve? — Upper_Case 24 secs ago

Don't use third party pronouns. — Harper 1 min ago

Definitely consider seeing a counselor or therapist. They won't give you answers, but they are good at listening and helping you organize your thoughts so you can make your own decision. — Reinstate Monica 2 mins ago

Hey there! We require answers here to be backed up by personal experience or external sources. So, could you edit to tell us about a similar situation you were in the past? Who was involved, what did you say and how did the other person react? — Ælis 2 mins ago

@Ælis I still think having to back up every answer is a great way to drive off people from wanting to answer but there you go, there's a backup edit — BKlassen 1 min ago

@Spagirl The outcome that I have done the right thing with my frustration, been a good citizen, and perhaps maximized the probability that my words will cause him to change (though that probability still may be less than 50%). — Eric Auld 1 min ago

You say you determined her name from her social media profile. Did any of them also list her pronouns (I understand this is somewhat common these days), or give other indication which ones she uses? — eyeballfrog 59 secs ago

I'm accepting this one because it mostly worked. After I sent the bottom text to them, they said something like "let's wait until you're more mature" so I sat on the bed and whined, and after a couple minutes they got sick of it and agreed to it. — temp 1 min ago