Someone paying for a room is not a "guest" - they are a tenant — teambob 41 secs ago
01:00 - 21:0021:00 - 00:00
1:24 AM
#16746 teambob (101 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 2) | posted 7 hours ago by UIDAlexD (303 rep) | Toxicity 0.32344034
2:15 AM
Why would you book a hotel room with Katie When you know it bothers your wife? That is so inconsiderate. It seems like extreme abuse of your wife’s trust. Just because your wife says she won’t try to stop you from doing something doesn’t mean you need to follow through with doing it. — Prince M 11 secs ago
#16441 Prince M (101 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 87) | posted 7 days ago by Teri0 (477 rep) | Toxicity 0.5190607 | edited 4 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | Has magic comment
2 hours later…
3:58 AM
Welcome! Could you provide the location as different culture will affect the outcome of the answer. — Revol729 38 secs ago
#16761 Revol729 (2609 rep) | Q: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.025281187
4:22 AM
Now that the comment is gone from that thread — even though the OP wasn't the person who deleted the comment — I'd suggest that the moderators ask the OP to add that personal detail to the original question, so that the matter of attribution and consent is immediately clear to the reader. — Gaultheria 7 secs ago
#3145 Gaultheria (185 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 3) | posted 13 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 7 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
I think there is an interpersonal aspect in the sense of how the unstable wife should be treated, but yea, I am writing up a question on the 'Law' stackexchange as well. — Hhon Joe 36 secs ago
#16762 Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Q: Avoid False Claims Before Divorce (score: -1) | posted 7 minutes ago by Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.14171639
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because it seems to be about the legal factors surrounding divorce and how to protect yourself in the eyes of the law, which does not have a strong interpersonal aspect. You may have better luck on Law.SE, but I make no claims about whether or not this would be on-topic there. — scohe001 1 min ago
#16762 scohe001 (6881 rep) | Q: Avoid False Claims Before Divorce (score: -1) | posted 7 minutes ago by Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.043385085
What is your goal with dealing with the wife though? It might make for an interesting question, but right now it looks like you're just asking about the legal side. — scohe001 25 secs ago
#16762 scohe001 (6881 rep) | Q: Avoid False Claims Before Divorce (score: -1) | posted 8 minutes ago by Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.085192665
There's no way to know if the OP will even ever return to the site. This is how editing on SE works, though. We don't expect the OPs of posts to do all of the work and we don't leave comments around after they are no longer useful, particularly when they include content that is otherwise problematic. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#3145 Catija (12182 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 3) | posted 16 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 10 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
#16762 Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Q: Avoid False Claims Before Divorce (score: -2) | posted 13 minutes ago by Hhon Joe (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.030978894
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this looks much more like a request for help constructing a compelling argument than it is a question about interpersonal skills. Phrasing requests are off topic for this site. Furthermore without knowing your brother personally we would have nothing more than wild guesses about what would influence them one way or another. — sphennings 1 min ago
#16761 sphennings (6679 rep) | Q: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 0) | posted 44 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.13453256 | edited 15 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep)
#16441 Gaultheria (185 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 87) | posted 7 days ago by Teri0 (477 rep) | Toxicity 0.007520814 | edited 6 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | Has magic comment
4:40 AM
Ideally, when the edit was made, the edit summary should've indicated that the information came directly from OP's comment to avoid exactly this confusion. — goldPseudo 33 secs ago
#3145 goldPseudo (101 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 31 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 25 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
@sphennings how can I improve the question? Having compelling arguments is not the issue -- it's how to have a conversation about this charged topic with my brother in a way that causes him to reconsider his choice. — J.A.R.V.I.S. 1 min ago
#16761 J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep) | Q: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 0) | posted 54 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.09645346 | edited 25 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep)
@goldPseudo — The edit summary mentioned the OP's comment, and that it had been deleted, but didn't have the OP's own words to confirm the source. — Gaultheria 1 min ago
#3145 Gaultheria (185 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 40 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 34 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
5:00 AM
I don't get it; why does "Could you X?" or "Would you mind X-ing?" need an extra 'please'? The conditional mood + question structure is an equivalent politeness marker, no? — ruakh 33 secs ago
#16583 ruakh (101 rep) | A: How to get my wife to remember to say "please" (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by Belle-Sophie (2455 rep) | Toxicity 0.12964743
I was the person who added it back in, and added the tag. My edit summaries were "It was mentioned in a now-deleted comment that the OP has autism" and "Added information from now-deleted comment." I kept the OP's precise wording: "I was recently diagnosed with autism." If they decide to roll back the edit, they are absolutely welcome to, but I essentially copied-and-pasted the relevant part of the comment into the question, as we usually do for clarifications the OP makes in comments. The only unusual thing here was that the comment was deleted in a bulk comment cleanup by another mod. — HDE 226868 ♦ 17 secs ago
#3145 HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 51 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 45 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
Hi! It seems an identical answer has already been posted. Would you please clarify how it is different from that answer? — A J ♦ 1 min ago
#16682 A J (6236 rep) | A: How to get my wife to remember to say "please" (score: 1) | posted 49 hours ago by JosephC (111 rep) | Toxicity 0.021472553 | edited 13 minutes ago by A J (6236 rep)
The OP fully intended to have that information be public; the edit that removed the tag was not done with the OP's consent, and was the problematic thing here. If the OP had posted another comment saying they wanted to keep the information public, or had approved that edit, I definitely wouldn't have added the information back - that would have been inappropriate. — HDE 226868 ♦ 1 min ago
#3145 HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 54 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 48 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
@HDE226868 OP shows doubt that their diagnosis is legitimate. (I can relate to this sentiment, because I was also wrongly diagnosed with Autism a while back, only to have the diagnosis reversed by another specialist) I think that OP's whole comment should be included in the edit, because the current edit is leaving out important information. — Ryan 5 secs ago
#3145 Ryan (103 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 57 minutes ago by Catija (12182 rep)
How do you expect us to get your brother to change their mind without knowing them? If there was a method that would get people to reconsider their choice about anything It would render all of politics and advertising moot. — sphennings 1 min ago
#16761 sphennings (6679 rep) | Q: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.12287997 | edited 56 minutes ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep)
@ruakh you’d have to ask OP or my partner. They seem to feel it is required. There is cultural difference between me and my partner though. Feel free to ping me in chat if you’d like to chat about this. — Belle-Sophie 1 min ago
#16583 Belle-Sophie (2455 rep) | A: How to get my wife to remember to say "please" (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by Belle-Sophie (2455 rep) | Toxicity 0.20914006
Please don't vandalize your posts. I've rolled back the edit you made, please keep it this way. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 24 secs ago
#16554 Tinkeringbell (19021 rep) | A: How can I handle a co-worker awkwardly forcing herself into conversations? (score: 0) | posted 4 days ago by Lifecoach (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.34204003 | edited 2 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (19021 rep)
5:25 AM
#3145 HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 1 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep)
Can you edit this to provide some explanation that supports the claims that your are making? — sphennings 6 secs ago
#16759 sphennings (6679 rep) | A: Is it rude to refer to someone as "he" or "she" in their presence? (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by [Ada ](interpersonal.stackexchange.com/u/20063) (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.054823857
5:56 AM
I actually contest that "it's their house and their rules". I am renting my room (private) and the common areas (shared). This was my understanding based on what we discussed and all other roommate situations I've had. — refbobby 2 mins ago
#16735 refbobby (121 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 7) | posted 16 hours ago by Ilia L (762 rep) | Toxicity 0.058574717
I think sphennings might mean that you’re asking what looks like a “convince question.” See this meta for more. Maybe you can edit your question to be more focused on how to have the conversation instead of how to argue and convince? — scohe001 11 secs ago
#16761 scohe001 (6881 rep) | Q: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep) | Toxicity 0.050079457 | edited 1 hours ago by J.A.R.V.I.S. (4 rep)
6:16 AM
Are you serious? Do you have any studies for your way of action? Lie is not a fault. Maybe someone speak fast and you don't understand them, that's a fault to accept. Maybe some other make some jokes that are a bit weird, that's a fault to accept. Maybe someone is too sensitive and get upset easily, that's a fault to accept. But Lying it's not a fault, lying it's a deliberate action that affects others, yourself, your reputation, and your relationships. I can't believe I see such an answer on SE. — lukuss 1 min ago
#16755 lukuss (1172 rep) | A: How to ask a friend to stop lying? (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by gnasher729 (4118 rep) | Toxicity 0.37589523
6:27 AM
+1 for #5. There are many alternative ways to correct a child's behavior: timeouts, curfews, taking away toys, letting them calm down before punishing them, but there can also be positive reinforcements. There are many books, audio-books, and videos on these topics. One approach would be to just give him these resources. Another approach is to lead by example yourselves, if your own child/children are well behaved, your brother is much more likely to listen to what you have to say. — Stephan Branczyk 1 min ago
#16763 Stephan Branczyk (2137 rep) | A: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Morta (23 rep) | Toxicity 0.1837295
#16763 Morta (23 rep) | A: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Morta (23 rep) | Toxicity 0.38482702
I don't think he should claim to be better, but if he wants his advice to be taken seriously, his own kids better be well behaved otherwise the brother could use that as an excuse not to listen to him. And there is no need to say whether your kids are well behaved, or not. Your brother will know. There is no need to tell him that part. — Stephan Branczyk 25 secs ago
#16763 Stephan Branczyk (2137 rep) | A: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Morta (23 rep) | Toxicity 0.22120638
#16620 Gusdor (101 rep) | Q: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 56) | posted 2 days ago by avazula (5422 rep) | Toxicity 0.10988823 | edited 46 hours ago by avazula (5422 rep)
#16763 Morta (23 rep) | A: How can I convince my brother not to spank his child? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Morta (23 rep) | Toxicity 0.2158221
6:59 AM
HA! Viewed 2,506 times in 5 months! I got a silver badge for this question now give me an upvote! It's obviously relevant to somebody. — leeand00 2 mins ago
#2278 leeand00 (108 rep) | Q: What to do when another person believes that you are ignorant? (score: -5) | posted 332 days ago by leeand00 (108 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 248 days ago by leeand00 (108 rep)
Hang on ... surely what matters is whether you enjoy eating it. If you enjoy eating it enough to justify the price you pay for it, then buy it. If you don't enjoy eating it that much, then don't. The reason you don't enjoy it doesn't matter. Are you expecting you'll start enjoying it more if the baker tells you it's fresh? — Dawood ibn Kareem 1 min ago
#16615 Dawood ibn Kareem (101 rep) | Q: How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread (score: 51) | posted 2 days ago by Toine42 (358 rep) | Toxicity 0.23440684 | edited 20 hours ago by psmears (150 rep)
@refbobby sounds to me like you are just renting a single bedroom in their house, which is a different matter to having a multi-occupancy building with shared spaces. — James Trotter 1 min ago
#16734 James Trotter (101 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 51) | posted 17 hours ago by Will Appleby (1107 rep) | Toxicity 0.16380312 | edited 24 minutes ago by Nerd (37 rep)
Do you live with your parents? If your family cannot be courteous to your girlfriend, you shouldn't be spending any time with them. It's as simple as that. Any time there is a breach in courtesy, or a snide comment, you grab your girlfriend, and you tell "Let's go. We're leaving!" Don't wait for your girlfriend to complain to you. Don't wait for your girlfriend to ask you to leave. Do it yourself. Your mother must think this is coming from you. — Stephan Branczyk 35 secs ago
#16671 Stephan Branczyk (2137 rep) | Q: My girlfriend and mother hate each other. What can I do? (score: 0) | posted 54 hours ago by Celso Junior (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.46095464 | edited 54 hours ago by scohe001 (6881 rep)
#16628 Deruijter (101 rep) | A: How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread (score: 63) | posted 2 days ago by guillau4 (759 rep) | Toxicity 0.14276758
@refbobby, I agree with the "equal rules" idea. I just think, in reality, they see it as "their" house and you are a renter - i.e. you are not equal occupants, despite what you might think (or want). Ultimately the advice is the same: if they won't compromise, you need to move. — Will Appleby 20 secs ago
#16734 Will Appleby (1117 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 52) | posted 17 hours ago by Will Appleby (1117 rep) | Toxicity 0.13560575 | edited 39 minutes ago by Nerd (37 rep)
Having answered the question myself, I think the title needs editing. The question isn't really a general one about dealing with obstinate people, it's quite specifically about tenant/landlord boundaries. — Will Appleby 51 secs ago
#16731 Will Appleby (1127 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 26) | posted 19 hours ago by refbobby (131 rep) | Toxicity 0.06735063 | edited 14 hours ago by Community (1 rep) | Has magic comment
I am an elected union representative in my company. Sadly I do not know about french conditions because I work in Spain, but in my country when the company exceeds a certain amount of workers is required to have a "equality plan" that must ensure to protect against gender and other possible discrimination causes. I am part of the tracking commision of it. I deeply hope the french legislation is similar. I would encourage, if its the case, to either get informed from your labor representatives or talk to HR. — bradbury9 30 secs ago
#16620 bradbury9 (101 rep) | Q: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 56) | posted 2 days ago by avazula (5422 rep) | Toxicity 0.08804596 | edited 47 hours ago by avazula (5422 rep)
@Gusdor - The skin color can make a difference. It can effect the privilege that the OP has - or that the coworkers have - and it can change the culture. Skin color is relevant information in any interpersonal skills situation, no matter how much we wish that wasn't the case. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#16620 Arwen Undómiel (2124 rep) | Q: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 56) | posted 2 days ago by avazula (5422 rep) | Toxicity 0.119634435 | edited 47 hours ago by avazula (5422 rep)
Hi there! We expect answers to explain why what you offer is a good idea. Could you please edit accordingly? — avazula 7 secs ago
#16699 avazula (5422 rep) | A: How to get my wife to remember to say "please" (score: 1) | posted 40 hours ago by Retep (19 rep) | Toxicity 0.011296764
7:42 AM
#3141 gparyani (304 rep) | A: How can users ask private questions anonymously on this site? (score: 7) | posted 21 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (19022 rep) | Toxicity NoKey
#16750 Wilson (101 rep) | A: Polite way to ask how to pronounce name with sounds outside local language? (score: 2) | posted 12 hours ago by Thorsten S. (2155 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409
@gparyani You could request that (it's certainly not mandatory), but I haven't seen that recommended anywhere for throwaway accounts. In fact, the meta's on post dissociation state that CM's might request you to delete your account instead of having posts dissociated if you don't have much participation. — Tinkeringbell ♦ 1 min ago
#3141 Tinkeringbell (19022 rep) | A: How can users ask private questions anonymously on this site? (score: 7) | posted 21 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (19022 rep) | Toxicity NoKey
Technically, the CC BY-SA license means that the team is legally required to accept requests for dissociation; if they do make such a request, you can always cite the license and get them to follow through with it. I find it more convenient to request dissociation because you can then use the same alternative account in case you want to ask a different private question later. — gparyani 10 secs ago
#3141 gparyani (304 rep) | A: How can users ask private questions anonymously on this site? (score: 7) | posted 21 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (19022 rep) | Toxicity NoKey
@ArwenUndómiel In that case, why is it not mentioned or requested on every other IPS question? This detail has absolutely nothing to do with attitudes towards LGBT people. If the co-workers were POC, this would be considered gross racism and be burninated within the hour. — Gusdor 13 secs ago
#16620 Gusdor (101 rep) | Q: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 56) | posted 2 days ago by avazula (5422 rep) | Toxicity 0.20517346 | edited 47 hours ago by avazula (5422 rep)
explain that you may have to look at moving elsewhere Hmmmm, always be careful about pre-warning a landlord you might start looking for somewhere else - they might decide to go looking for a new tenant (the terms of your lease/agreement affect how quickly they could do so). — Grimm The Opiner 26 secs ago
#16734 Grimm The Opiner (149 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 53) | posted 18 hours ago by Will Appleby (1127 rep) | Toxicity 0.028180856 | edited 1 hours ago by Nerd (37 rep)
In adition to what @avazula said, your answer may get deleted because of that. Don't worry, deletion is not a definite state here. If you provide an explanation, we can undelete it. — Belle-Sophie 15 secs ago
#16699 Belle-Sophie (2455 rep) | A: How to get my wife to remember to say "please" (score: 1) | posted 41 hours ago by Retep (19 rep) | Toxicity 0.11337031
#16731 sleske (259 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 26) | posted 19 hours ago by refbobby (131 rep) | Toxicity 0.19505978 | edited 15 hours ago by Community (1 rep) | Has magic comment
@WillAppleby: I expanded the title. Maybe you would consider approving my edit? ;-) — sleske 30 secs ago
#16731 sleske (259 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 26) | posted 19 hours ago by refbobby (131 rep) | Toxicity 0.050270338 | edited 15 hours ago by Community (1 rep) | Has magic comment
@FiatLux - See the last line of my previous comment: "I would never think to use "white" as something to help identify Dave, and so I feel uncomfortable that I notice that Stuart is black." That means I treat white people differently to how I treat black people. That's racial discrimination. — AndyT 29 secs ago
#1671 AndyT (1116 rep) | Q: What is the right way to refer to someone with dark brown skin who is not African American? (score: 14) | posted 342 days ago by Thunderforge (1051 rep) | Toxicity 0.5072671 | edited 342 days ago by Thunderforge (1051 rep)
@refbobby - Did you discuss this with this specific landlord before moving in? — Fake Name 56 secs ago
#16735 Fake Name (101 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 7) | posted 18 hours ago by Ilia L (762 rep) | Toxicity 0.07181672
#16734 sleske (259 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 54) | posted 18 hours ago by Will Appleby (1137 rep) | Toxicity 0.13190964 | edited 1 hours ago by Nerd (37 rep)
@FakeName: Yes, and: Did you put the result into the contract? If it's not in the contract, it does not exist. — sleske 43 secs ago
#16735 sleske (259 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 8) | posted 18 hours ago by Ilia L (772 rep) | Toxicity 0.12752055
#16767 sleske (259 rep) | A: How to negotiate with someone who flat out says "no"? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Stephan Branczyk (2147 rep) | Toxicity 0.06509103
8:22 AM
"It will be up to you to prove that ... it wasn't from you." In my country we have presumption of innocence. — BlueCompute 33 secs ago
#13474 BlueCompute (131 rep) | A: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: 20) | posted 90 days ago by baldPrussian (19294 rep) | Toxicity 0.20980065
#16769 L_Church (101 rep) | Q: Independent Scientific theory (score: -1) | posted 2 minutes ago by akbar hussain (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.18464328
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this seems to have nothing to do with interpersonal skills. — sphennings 51 secs ago
#16769 sphennings (6678 rep) | Q: Independent Scientific theory (score: -1) | posted 3 minutes ago by akbar hussain (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.21897458
#16769 akbar hussain (1 rep) | Q: Independent Scientific theory (score: -2) | posted 6 minutes ago by akbar hussain (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.12661058
Just a quick anecdotal answer. I have an easy enough name to pronounce correctly for an English speaker and even so I prefer people who speak English to use the Anglicization. The reason is my language has cases and the name will change based on them. Thus it sounds weird to me in English if pronounced "correctly". Just ask the person and try to follow their wishes. I doubt anyone will get all bent out of shape if you mispronounce their name, but asking is usually best. — DRF 42 secs ago
#16740 DRF (103 rep) | Q: Polite way to ask how to pronounce name with sounds outside local language? (score: 10) | posted 17 hours ago by Evan (154 rep) | Toxicity 0.052202787 | edited 14 hours ago by Evan (154 rep)
#13464 Rita Geraghty (63 rep) | Q: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: 10) | posted 90 days ago by Fo. (166 rep) | Toxicity 0.30090356 | edited 89 days ago by Fo. (166 rep)
How close are you with the friend? Which location are you based in? Why are you planning to travel during that time and not at some other time? — XtremeBaumer 18 secs ago
#16770 XtremeBaumer (1467 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by blau (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.048955776
Did you already know you wouldn't make it to the wedding when you accepted the invite? It's not obvious from how you've worded it. — Kozaky 58 secs ago
#16770 Kozaky (4684 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by blau (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.085801795
9:05 AM
I could say my wifi is always slow and dysfunctional and that I need a new modem. I prefer your option #4. No is short and sweet, oftentimes hassle-free. — Rita Geraghty 1 min ago
#16768 Rita Geraghty (63 rep) | A: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Stephan Branczyk (2157 rep) | Toxicity 0.108832344 | edited 14 seconds ago by Stephan Branczyk (2157 rep)
Hi, I am the OP. I am a longtime SE user, with good rep over many sites, but I made this question through an unregistered account for privacy reasons, therefore, I don't mind it being included in the main question. However, other people certainly might have been upset in this situation. Also, my ignorant comments about autism were supposed to be self-deprecating humor type remarks. I guess that didn't come off well... maybe I am on the spectrum after all xD xD — Teri0 55 secs ago
#3145 Teri0 (482 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 5) | posted 5 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 4 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep)
This is going to be very hard to answer, weddings mean so much to some people and almost nothing to others. You don't say how close you are, but the closer you are the more it's going to hurt. You also didn't mention the size of the wedding. A 10 person wedding, every missing person hurts a 5,000 person wedding, no one will care. Lastly, you need to mention your role, are you the best man, or just watching. — coteyr 51 secs ago
#16770 coteyr (1891 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: -1) | posted 30 minutes ago by blau (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.1627194 | edited 15 minutes ago by Kozaky (4684 rep)
@AndyT Well, if he is the only white person in a company, then you surely would use this parameter to identify him. You don't think of it because you usually have more than one white guy to choose from, don't you? So, no, it is not racial discrimination, you are overthinking it too much. — FiatLux 1 min ago
#1671 FiatLux (101 rep) | Q: What is the right way to refer to someone with dark brown skin who is not African American? (score: 14) | posted 342 days ago by Thunderforge (1051 rep) | Toxicity 0.46095464 | edited 342 days ago by Thunderforge (1051 rep)
9:31 AM
Hi there! As it is, your question is likely to get closed, for "What should I do" questions are off-topic on this site. Could you please reword your post to avoid this? Maybe you could ask "how to tell my girlfriend I'm embarrassed by her hypothetical questions?" if it suits what you're trying to achieve. Thanks in advance :) — avazula 41 secs ago
#16775 avazula (5422 rep) | Q: How to respond to girlfriend when she aks hypothetical and silly questions (score: 0) | posted 5 minutes ago by GamerGypps (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.19712506
#16775 Kozaky (4684 rep) | Q: How to respond to girlfriend when she aks hypothetical and silly questions (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by GamerGypps (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.18484923 | edited 2 minutes ago by GamerGypps (1 rep)
As this is an IPS answer I would suggest not making the assumption that the issue of explicit rights (which is a big factor in how to resolve this as an interpersonal issue) comes down to a tenancy agreement. In some jurisdictions landlords of shared properties are required to provide certain facilities and an agreement that didn't allow for them would be unenforceable. From an interpersonal perspective, however, such regulations have the same effect as a tenancy agreement. — Will 1 min ago
#16734 Will (101 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 57) | posted 20 hours ago by Will Appleby (1167 rep) | Toxicity 0.042904176 | edited 2 hours ago by Nerd (37 rep)
#16775 Cashbee (3438 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by GamerGypps (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.0569119 | edited 42 seconds ago by AHamilton (2166 rep)
#16775 AHamilton (2166 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 1) | posted 20 minutes ago by GamerGypps (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.056232963 | edited 7 minutes ago by AHamilton (2166 rep)
We went together on highschool and now we see each other once a year this is how close we are to each other and I can't go any other time. — blau 34 secs ago
#16770 blau (6 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by blau (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.07491763 | edited 53 minutes ago by Kozaky (4684 rep)
Have you tried asking this on other boards? It's difficult to imagine this is the best place to ask this, because it seems like workplace related places might be a better fit. I'm going to try and answer this question despite that, but if you do end up asking elsewhere (or this gets closed), add a link to that question to this one if you don't mind. — AHamilton just now
#16776 AHamilton (2166 rep) | Q: Request for a telephone interview (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by Violet Flare (1215 rep) | Toxicity 0.07745381
@Kozaky I do not believe so, She expected the answer that i would stay single and love no one but her until i die which would be like 60 years. — GamerGypps 25 secs ago
#16775 GamerGypps (11 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 2) | posted 26 minutes ago by GamerGypps (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.37515834 | edited 2 minutes ago by GamerGypps (11 rep)
#16773 blau (6 rep) | A: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 54 minutes ago by Rekesoft (121 rep) | Toxicity 0.06651421
I would say that a conference is a [force majeure case][1]. In my own wedding I had a friend who couldn't make it because he had to work that weekend - his boss sent him to a meeting abroad. [1]: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Force_majeure — Rekesoft 37 secs ago
#16773 Rekesoft (121 rep) | A: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 57 minutes ago by Rekesoft (121 rep) | Toxicity 0.050238978
Wedding will be in a month I don't know if they are able to change number of persons invited, but I am sure their wedding will not be so expensive. I am this worried because I am the only person from high school he is inviting and I was actually suprised by the invitation, and I definetely don't want to lose a friend. — blau 1 min ago
#16774 blau (6 rep) | A: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 48 minutes ago by coteyr (1891 rep) | Toxicity 0.09807181
Are all of these extreme hypotheticals about eternal love, or are they about a range of topics? — Spagirl 15 secs ago
#16775 Spagirl (10950 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 2) | posted 32 minutes ago by GamerGypps (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.06496663 | edited 8 minutes ago by GamerGypps (11 rep)
I'll probably tell him that I didn't have any other choice or something and hope he will understand. — blau 33 secs ago
#16773 blau (6 rep) | A: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Rekesoft (121 rep) | Toxicity 0.17918912
10:17 AM
#16441 Andy (101 rep) | Q: How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends? (score: 88) | posted 7 days ago by Teri0 (482 rep) | Toxicity 0.8454509 | edited 4 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6982 rep) | Has magic comment
#13464 Tom (762 rep) | Q: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: 10) | posted 90 days ago by Fo. (166 rep) | Toxicity 0.03888927 | edited 89 days ago by Fo. (166 rep)
10:39 AM
#16770 Radu Murzea (101 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by blau (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.028991807 | edited 1 hours ago by Kozaky (4684 rep)
10:52 AM
#16770 blau (6 rep) | Q: How to decline wedding invitation (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by blau (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.105687834 | edited 1 hours ago by Kozaky (4684 rep)
@sleske That's not what "sublease" means. A sublease is an arrangement where A rents the house to B and B rents part of the house to C. The fact that the asker only has one room doesn't mean it's a sublease: it could be that the people described as the landlord and landlady own the house or, in other cases, that both B and C are renting from A. — David Richerby 6 secs ago
#16731 David Richerby (171 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 28) | posted 22 hours ago by refbobby (141 rep) | Toxicity 0.07539286 | edited 2 hours ago by sleske (261 rep) | Has magic comment
#16782 Nat (411 rep) | A: Request for a telephone interview (score: 0) | posted 31 minutes ago by Astralbee (15072 rep) | Toxicity 0.03453478
11:17 AM
@BlueCompute We do in the US as well. The challenge comes when the threatening e-mail can be proven to come from your network. The owner is responsible for the traffic, so it's your fault - until you can prove otherwise. — baldPrussian 42 secs ago
#13474 baldPrussian (19304 rep) | A: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: 21) | posted 90 days ago by baldPrussian (19304 rep) | Toxicity 0.22638842
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this is more of a phrasing request, rather than an interpersonal relation. Perhaps The Workplace may be able to help. — baldPrussian 23 secs ago
#16776 baldPrussian (19304 rep) | Q: Request for a telephone interview (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Violet Flare (1215 rep) | Toxicity 0.052661136
#16778 Davor (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 7) | posted 1 hours ago by Legisey (179 rep) | Toxicity 0.3899651
#16778 Chris H (103 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 8) | posted 1 hours ago by Legisey (189 rep) | Toxicity 0.3476808
11:42 AM
As a native of your neighbor nation of bread connoisseurs I find this question really strange. A bakery could sell me stale bread exactly once. Most people I know would suffer any hardships to avoid buying stale bread. A baker selling old bread without informing the customers runs quickly out of business. The baker is offending you and you should tell them in no uncertain terms. — Roland just now
#16615 Roland (101 rep) | Q: How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread (score: 52) | posted 3 days ago by Toine42 (363 rep) | Toxicity 0.1414373 | edited 24 hours ago by psmears (150 rep)
The first paragraph has been an epiphany I never looked at it that way before.. — R.Joshi 15 secs ago
#16778 R.Joshi (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Legisey (217 rep) | Toxicity 0.045374356
In this kind of conversations what matters is intention , if Op's intention is just to show his SO that he loves her, it's fine to play along on the game she's proposing, even if he doesn't know because the idea of the game, is just feeling loved and beeing cared of. I personally agree with OP that those games are rather foolish and pointless but then, why make such a big deal of it? — Alexander Aeons Torn 23 secs ago
#16778 Alexander Aeons Torn (1385 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 10) | posted 1 hours ago by Legisey (217 rep) | Toxicity 0.33799845
12:04 PM
#16731 sleske (261 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 28) | posted 23 hours ago by refbobby (141 rep) | Toxicity 0.1086187 | edited 3 hours ago by sleske (261 rep) | Has magic comment
My ex used to ask me questions with only wrong answers like "Do you like my make-up?". If I said yes, she would moan that she would have to wake up early to put on make-up. If I said no, she would moan that I didn't find her attractive since she always wore make-up. Now she is my ex. — stuart stevenson 44 secs ago
#16775 stuart stevenson (101 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep) | Toxicity 0.25839987 | edited 2 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep)
I disagree, you don't win her game by playing along. You win the game by putting this kind of attention seeking down with a good neg, "Probably not, I'm more attracted to 20 year old girls than dead 80 year olds" — Matt 50 secs ago
#16778 Matt (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 16) | posted 2 hours ago by Legisey (277 rep) | Toxicity 0.46850836
“I'd go for nonviolent communication. “ sounds a lot like “but of course one could go for violent communication too, its just not what id do“ — DonQuiKong 57 secs ago
#16780 DonQuiKong (229 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.20048337
#16778 Legisey (297 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 18) | posted 2 hours ago by Legisey (297 rep) | Toxicity 0.05567693
@DonQuiKong English is not my native language, I may not have used the correct words, sorry. I meant I would try to talk to her with respect to the nonviolent communication precepts (which is actually a theory, see link in the answer). Wasn't it clear? — avazula 5 secs ago
#16780 avazula (5501 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.031015355
This question would probably be better suited at The Workplace. I know we have a lot of questions on this topic already, like this one and this one. — David K 28 secs ago
#16776 David K (1186 rep) | Q: Request for a telephone interview (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by Violet Flare (1223 rep) | Toxicity 0.02885619
#16780 DonQuiKong (229 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.0259933
I'm not sure if this is considered an IPS question. A couple of questions you should ask: Do they need help with anything? Are they happy with their income level? — TheRealLester 1 min ago
#16784 TheRealLester (3943 rep) | Q: I recently got a really well paying job (relative to my parents) and I would like to help them out. How? (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by HanMah (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.04058619
#16780 avazula (5501 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.033886977 | edited 43 seconds ago by avazula (5501 rep)
#16749 David K (1186 rep) | Q: How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend? (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by ElizB (362 rep) | Toxicity 0.11726914 | edited 16 hours ago by scohe001 (6901 rep)
Actual text. She has demanded without thinkikg of others' plans- like one of the few times i went to see her, she had me drive her to the gas station to get the biggest soda there... while she had soda at home. — ElizB 7 secs ago
#16749 ElizB (362 rep) | Q: How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend? (score: 5) | posted 17 hours ago by ElizB (362 rep) | Toxicity 0.16748862 | edited 16 hours ago by scohe001 (6901 rep)
@unknownprotocol You can probably get that questions cleared up on one of the other sites. I think Travel or Seasoned Advice would be your best bets. — David K 48 secs ago
#16721 David K (1186 rep) | A: How to give constructive feedback to a restaurant owner when they ask after a meal? (score: 3) | posted 28 hours ago by Daniel (5739 rep) | Toxicity 0.059968248 | edited 28 hours ago by Daniel (5739 rep)
Hi HanMah. What would you recommend? seems off-topic for this stack, as it's opinion-based and/or too broad. The community may help if you want to help them (you have already decided to do so), give money/support, and ask for a way to achieve this using an interpersonal skill. Do you mind editing your post, clarify, and narrow down to a single question/goal? thanks. — OldPadawan just now
#16784 OldPadawan (12228 rep) | Q: I recently got a really well paying job (relative to my parents) and I would like to help them out. How? (score: 0) | posted 15 minutes ago by HanMah (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.10753598 | edited 3 minutes ago by OldPadawan (12228 rep)
Although I do agree that the OP may be doing some overthinking of their own, I disagree with this answer because if it was a game to his girlfriend she wouldn't have got upset. — Astralbee 21 secs ago
#16778 Astralbee (15141 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 20) | posted 2 hours ago by Legisey (297 rep) | Toxicity 0.41188496
#16775 Owl (101 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 8) | posted 3 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep) | Toxicity 0.12890375 | edited 2 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep)
This is not an answer to the asked question. If you want to make a frame challenge, please read this meta about frame challenges where it is explained what an answer needs to count as a good frame challenge and edit your answer accordingly. Thank you — Cashbee 49 secs ago
#16778 Cashbee (3437 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 21) | posted 2 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.012759178
If i were the OP i would consider something as "of course" or "I would love you even more [...]" and so on as a lie because i just don't know what would happen in this hypotetical situation and, as the OP wrote, the most likely outcome won't be "forever alone". Even the marriage vow is "until death do us part", what do you expect more? Saying "of course" while thinking that you probably won't be forever alone IS A PLAIN LIE in my mind, and this would be the main reason why i also won't hear this kind of question. — theGarz 24 secs ago
#16778 theGarz (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 21) | posted 2 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.30075526
The problem with asking someone not to talk about something is that it inevitable destroys communication between you both. It's a very dangerous thing to do, as it can take years to repair trust to communicate again once its destroyed. — Owl 37 secs ago
#16780 Owl (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.24899103 | edited 21 minutes ago by avazula (5501 rep)
#12827 Owl (101 rep) | Q: I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful? (score: 57) | posted 105 days ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.44369903 | edited 100 days ago by avazula (5501 rep)
Hi! Could you please edit your answer, and focus it on answering the question? The asker already knows that this might be dangerous, so the first part of your answer which reads a lot like a rant can go. The second part gives some stuff to try, but doesn't explain how to do it, or why it would work. Could you elaborate on that please? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 55 secs ago
#16772 Tinkeringbell (19021 rep) | A: What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours? (score: -1) | posted 4 hours ago by Rita Geraghty (61 rep) | Toxicity 0.16273755 | edited 1 hours ago by Rita Geraghty (61 rep)
#16780 avazula (5501 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 6) | posted 2 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep) | Toxicity 0.070203304 | edited 32 minutes ago by avazula (5501 rep)
#16778 Иво Недев (329 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 23) | posted 3 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.93019783 | edited 3 minutes ago by Legisey (301 rep)
@Kozaky I don't interpret her answer as light jest. I interpret it as someone having unreasonable expectations of their partner. — David K 22 secs ago
#16775 David K (1186 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 8) | posted 3 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep) | Toxicity 0.2311663 | edited 3 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep)
your girlfriend asked in a round about way "will you love only me forever" from your comments it appears you responded with no. even if its the truth you would move on if she died. she doesn't want or need to hear it. — J.Doe 43 secs ago
#16775 J.Doe (101 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 8) | posted 3 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep) | Toxicity 0.3889421 | edited 3 hours ago by GamerGypps (41 rep)
#16778 Beofett (4691 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 23) | posted 3 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.118137896 | edited 11 minutes ago by Legisey (301 rep)
I think this is a dangerous answer because it feeds into her insecurity, which is what is driving these kind of questions in the first place. She is looking for genuine (and regular) re-assurance that her relationship is strong, and using hypothetical questions to affirm her partner's devotion. — Will Appleby 40 secs ago
#16778 Will Appleby (1197 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 25) | posted 3 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.20081075 | edited 18 minutes ago by Legisey (301 rep)
@DavidRicherby I believe that you complain only when you find someone is doing something wrong or out of the ordinary. The answer makes clear a nice way to ask for what you want. The fact that a person does not complain is not the same as that person just accepting something other than what they want. — Joe 1 min ago
#16628 Joe (101 rep) | A: How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread (score: 63) | posted 3 days ago by guillau4 (759 rep) | Toxicity 0.15781821
@RK "According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, a normal BMI falls between 18.5 and 24.9. Lower than that is underweight, and higher is overweight. A BMI of 30.0 or more qualifies as obese... the healthy range of body fat for an adult male is a lower 10 to 22 percent... For good health, a woman needs total body fat between 20 and 32 percent... They found that body fat in men averaged 28.1, while in women it averaged 40.0... — Dent7777 17 secs ago
#16358 Dent7777 (138 rep) | Q: How can I safely talk with my sister about her health? (score: 4) | posted 9 days ago by Dent7777 (138 rep) | Toxicity 0.16159555 | edited 8 days ago by Dent7777 (138 rep)
@RK These averages point to the fact that a large majority are at the very least overweight, bordering on obese. Being overweight, let alone obese, carries a host of associated health problems, both in the short and long term. Being overweight and obese is "normal" and acceptable in American society. These are the standards to which I refer. — Dent7777 49 secs ago
#16358 Dent7777 (138 rep) | Q: How can I safely talk with my sister about her health? (score: 4) | posted 9 days ago by Dent7777 (138 rep) | Toxicity 0.13877347 | edited 8 days ago by Dent7777 (138 rep)
@Astralbee We call game the means used to get to the information she wants which is the intention and caring of her SO. Of course she gets upset if she gets the feeling that her SO might not love her so much as much as she thinks. But still is communication behind a veil, I didn't mean game in the sense that it doesn't matter, it's communication of important things, just operating under a cloth of innocence illusorial scenarios. — Alexander Aeons Torn 1 min ago
#16778 Alexander Aeons Torn (1385 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 25) | posted 3 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.08137054 | edited 28 minutes ago by Legisey (301 rep)
Hi HanMah, welcome! I edited your question to try to make it on topic, so it may not exactly be what you were asking for. Please feel free to rollback to your version if you disagree. — avazula 17 secs ago
#16784 avazula (5501 rep) | Q: How can I tell my parents I'd like to help them financially after getting a very well paid job? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by HanMah (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.06897092 | edited 1 minutes ago by avazula (5501 rep)
#16784 HanMah (1 rep) | Q: How can I tell my parents I'd like to help them financially after getting a very well paid job? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by HanMah (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.08777971 | edited 6 minutes ago by avazula (5501 rep)
1:45 PM
You're not answering OP question, you're giving him advice for what to do if it happens again. — F. Emin 17 secs ago
#16785 F. Emin (149 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: -1) | posted 14 minutes ago by tkp (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.08764323
#16778 F. Emin (148 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 23) | posted 3 hours ago by Legisey (297 rep) | Toxicity 0.23212743 | edited 52 minutes ago by Legisey (297 rep)
I'm not sure of any jurisdiction that says you have to be able to keep your toothbrush/shaver/etc. in the bathroom, as long as you can use it otherwise for normal bathroom tasks, and there are many shared housing spaces where it is not normal to keep your stuff in the bathroom. TBH, I think the OP is blinded by dislike for the landlord instead of approaching this as a practical storage problem. I have a feeling most of the problems could actually be solved with some under bed storage, a cheap 5 shelf unit, and one of those shower caddies to tote bathroom supplies in. — user3067860 14 secs ago
#16746 user3067860 (121 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 7) | posted 19 hours ago by UIDAlexD (353 rep) | Toxicity 0.18194155
This is a very dangerous response. One of the purposes of questions like this is to find out how you really feel about things. If you respond frequently to this by trying to give the answer she wants, you will find yourself in a few years married to someone who thinks you are completely different from what you really are, and very unhappy. — DJClayworth 50 secs ago
#16778 DJClayworth (800 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 25) | posted 4 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep) | Toxicity 0.23754409 | edited 1 hours ago by Legisey (301 rep)
The hypothetical question is ok and your answer is ok, but her reaction is infantile and her expectations unrealistic so that's a hint to dump her, because she's not ready for a mature relationship. That would stop the questions : P — Agent_L 50 secs ago
#16775 Agent_L (680 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 12) | posted 4 hours ago by GamerGypps (61 rep) | Toxicity 0.37584877 | edited 4 hours ago by GamerGypps (61 rep)
This does not answer the question, rather a comment. Please edit if you think of a potential answer. — avazula 15 secs ago
#16785 avazula (5501 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: -1) | posted 37 minutes ago by tkp (107 rep) | Toxicity 0.02696844
@apaul It appears that DoubleDouble gives excellent advice :) I had not seen that answer before writing mine, and the technique we both recommend has floated around the internet and (at least my) social circles for some time. — whereswalden 1 min ago
#16632 whereswalden (737 rep) | A: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 100) | posted 3 days ago by whereswalden (737 rep) | Toxicity 0.018976573
@TheRealLester it is hard for me to know what they "need". They don't live paycheck to paycheck and they do have hobbies that cost a bit but they do not own a house or go on expensive vacations. — HanMah 46 secs ago
#16784 HanMah (6 rep) | Q: How can I tell my parents I'd like to help them financially after getting a very well paid job? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by HanMah (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.11915314 | edited 48 minutes ago by avazula (5501 rep)
I marked this as the correct answer becuase i feel it fits more in line with mine and my GF personality. We both jest and have good banter between us so this feels more natural to make her laugh about it. I have a thing about not lying to her which is why this was even a problem in the first place. Thanks @Legisey for this answer! — GamerGypps 12 secs ago
#16778 GamerGypps (68 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 27) | posted 4 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.10912504 | edited 1 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
"shared common space" means "nobody can claim it", not "anybody can claim it" - what you did leaving your stuff. You not having enough space in your room is no excuse, you knew the size of your stuff and the size of the room, it was your responsibility to rent a room that's of appropriate size. I'm with you on the bathroom issue, but it sounds like in her mind you rented the room and the bathroom was not part of the deal. — Agent_L 6 secs ago
#16731 Agent_L (680 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 28) | posted 26 hours ago by refbobby (141 rep) | Toxicity 0.20101888 | edited 5 hours ago by sleske (261 rep) | Has magic comment
2:31 PM
@refbobby Were all your other roommates owners of the property and older than your mother? With peers you negotiate as equal, with landlords they're lords and you're a supplicant. All of my roommates had stringent rule "only if owners live off premises" for this reason exactly. I understand that it might be not practical for you, I'm merely trying to highlight how bid difference it is. — Agent_L 1 min ago
#16735 Agent_L (680 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 8) | posted 24 hours ago by Ilia L (772 rep) | Toxicity 0.34236374
2:54 PM
The answer begins, “...the way to let her know...”. And , in response to the prior comment, The solution I’ve offered can only be done when the problem occurs. However, it is effective and constitutes a valid reply to the OP. Perhaps your view that it is sick and a lie is based on an understanding of the language of interpersonal relationships that is less...let’s say, mature, or perhaps “informed by experience” than mine? That’s OK. Reasonable minds may differ. But my answer stands. — tkp 35 secs ago
#16785 tkp (105 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by tkp (105 rep) | Toxicity 0.1658354
3:05 PM
#16731 Steve (168 rep) | Q: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 27) | posted 26 hours ago by refbobby (139 rep) | Toxicity 0.38553628 | edited 6 hours ago by sleske (261 rep) | Has magic comment
God, I'm so glad I'm not 20 anymore. As @WillAppleby pointed out there is some deeply rooted insecurity in your girlfriend in addition to unrealistic expectations. I'd rather point out the things you actually do for your relationship and for her so she might think about and realize that your relationship is strong rather than resorting to frequent vocal reassurance, that cannot ever overcome such a feeling of insecurity (hence the return of these questions). — Otto Abnormalverbraucher 2 mins ago
#16778 Otto Abnormalverbraucher (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 34) | posted 5 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.25456294 | edited 2 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
Is your coworker cold to other people? What is your job title and responsibilities compared to them? — TheRealLester 29 secs ago
#16787 TheRealLester (3953 rep) | Q: How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me? (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by Andy Carlson (196 rep) | Toxicity 0.20696145
#16746 Joshua (167 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 7) | posted 21 hours ago by UIDAlexD (353 rep) | Toxicity 0.154473
"because of your interest in sci-fi, hoping to tap into your emotions via something you are interested in." +++1 She dresses her questions with your interests. She is using too much dressing and she ends up with weird questions. Make her more comfortable about asking questions to you. — Enric Naval 17 secs ago
#16783 Enric Naval (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 28) | posted 4 hours ago by Astralbee (15272 rep) | Toxicity 0.1291563 | edited 2 hours ago by Astralbee (15272 rep)
#16775 Ooker (152 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 19) | posted 6 hours ago by GamerGypps (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.38462496 | edited 5 hours ago by GamerGypps (101 rep)
The first sentence violates the Be Nice policy pretty obviously. There's no need for this aggressive language here. — TheRealLester 14 secs ago
#16788 TheRealLester (3953 rep) | A: Accused of Racism at Work (score: -1) | posted 9 minutes ago by james marshall (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.30177596
I find the wording here troubling - "if you hurt someone, you apologize". This isn't the absolute that you're portraying it as. If I'm 'hurt' by you (or any user, this is a hypothetical) posting on Stack Exchange, it would be ridiculous for anyone to expect an apology for me. Instead of assuming guilt, the first step should be finding out what was the supposed offense since just because someone said something is racist doesn't mean it's true. Assuming guilt and apologizing without a real understanding just promotes bad behavior. — Ethan The Brave 1 min ago
#11408 Ethan The Brave (237 rep) | A: Accused of Racism at Work (score: 15) | posted 137 days ago by Rose Hartman (2148 rep) | Toxicity 0.5494195 | edited 137 days ago by Rose Hartman (2148 rep)
#16787 scohe001 (6901 rep) | Q: How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me? (score: 1) | posted 37 minutes ago by Andy Carlson (201 rep) | Toxicity 0.34838942 | edited 21 minutes ago by OldPadawan (12228 rep)
This is by far the best answer. It ignores all previous experiences and simply focuses on the future. Get the information and make a decision. In the process of asking you may derive information about your past experiences, and as an added bonus you are passively asserting, to an observant baker, you don't want to be stuffed with stale bread. +1 — Attack68 1 min ago
#16646 Attack68 (101 rep) | A: How to ask my local baker if he is always selling freshly baked bread (score: 32) | posted 2 days ago by 200_success (439 rep) | Toxicity 0.13945071 | edited 2 days ago by 200_success (439 rep)
4:01 PM
@Davor, the only truthful answer here is "I don't know". However, I submit that when someone asks a hypothetical question, a hypothetical answer is perfectly appropriate, especially when you understand why they're asking the question. The SO is clearly asking for reassurance in their relationship which can be expected from young (or older) folks who may have been burnt in past relationship. As another answerer said, do things to reassure them and the questions may stop. If not, perhaps that SO needs some help with their emotional well being. — CramerTV 1 min ago
#16778 CramerTV (222 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 44) | posted 6 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.11566878 | edited 3 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
Also, how much do your job responsibilities overlap? Are you both working with the same job title and on the same projects? Do you both report to the same person? — Upper_Case 50 secs ago
#16787 Upper_Case (4644 rep) | Q: How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me? (score: 1) | posted 56 minutes ago by Andy Carlson (201 rep) | Toxicity 0.083777286 | edited 40 minutes ago by OldPadawan (12228 rep)
The behavior is specific to me. He is "above" me in terms of rank, but we report to the same person. From my observation, when other people attach themselves to a group conversation, he is keen to greet them, make eye contact with them, and advance their conversation topics. When I try to do the same, he does none of those things. I get a vibe that he doesn't want me there. His eye attention is clearly monopolized by any other person present. — Andy Carlson 1 min ago
#16787 Andy Carlson (201 rep) | Q: How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me? (score: 1) | posted 59 minutes ago by Andy Carlson (201 rep) | Toxicity 0.1865429 | edited 43 minutes ago by OldPadawan (12228 rep)
Well, perhaps he sees you as competition which he has to outshine? This is a natural constellation, even if not pleasurable - what speaks against just accepting this as the natural course of things until either: the ice breaks over time, or you both settle more comfortably in your positions? — Captain Emacs 17 secs ago
#16787 Captain Emacs (101 rep) | Q: How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Andy Carlson (201 rep) | Toxicity 0.06732681 | edited 50 minutes ago by OldPadawan (12228 rep)
4:39 PM
You are apologizing for their feelings, not for your role in them. It's empathy acting as a doorway towards understanding what the real problem is. If I say, "I'm sorry you scraped your knee," would you assume I'm taking ownership of it? — Carduus 48 secs ago
#11408 Carduus (1008 rep) | A: Accused of Racism at Work (score: 16) | posted 137 days ago by Rose Hartman (2158 rep) | Toxicity 0.36374384 | edited 137 days ago by Rose Hartman (2158 rep)
4:52 PM
"...she said I should stay alone forever after she died and should never love someone else even many years after" If she is serious, you need to run — LCIII 29 secs ago
#16775 LCIII (121 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 23) | posted 7 hours ago by GamerGypps (121 rep) | Toxicity 0.7009271 | edited 7 hours ago by GamerGypps (121 rep)
Can you please add your country tag so we know if there's any cultural aspects related. Thanks :) — ElizB 42 secs ago
#16784 ElizB (362 rep) | Q: How can I tell my parents I'd like to help them financially after getting a very well paid job? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by HanMah (6 rep) | Toxicity 0.034297258 | edited 3 hours ago by avazula (5501 rep)
5:16 PM
As an English-speaker in the United States, I have had other English-speakers both mispronounce and misspell my name. It never bothered me if they asked me the correct way for either. Or, if they mispronounce it, I take the onus off of them and politely correct them myself - "It's Shawn." — Shawn 1 min ago
#16740 Shawn (101 rep) | Q: Polite way to ask how to pronounce name with sounds outside local language? (score: 15) | posted 26 hours ago by Evan (179 rep) | Toxicity 0.14027011 | edited 22 hours ago by Evan (179 rep)
+1 I feel that the closing paragraph could benefit from an important nuance being stressed with "they have to be willing" - willingness can be engendered where none previously existed. It just takes just even more personal investment than the "hell of a lot more" already needed for the view change in a willing person alone, and very hard to do if the person already knows you disagree or want to change their mind. — mtraceur 1 min ago
#16634 mtraceur (161 rep) | A: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 46) | posted 3 days ago by apaul (40976 rep) | Toxicity 0.2438381 | edited 12 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6982 rep)
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/posts/16634/revisions @mtraceur this has been radically edited. — apaul 11 secs ago
#16634 apaul (40976 rep) | A: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 46) | posted 3 days ago by apaul (40976 rep) | Toxicity 0.12041823 | edited 12 hours ago by HDE 226868 (6982 rep)
Yes this is a rather common idea by now (I've seen it float up in multiple places/groups independent of each other), and concise phrasings of it are bound to be convergent to the point of resembling plagiarism. — mtraceur 51 secs ago
#16632 mtraceur (161 rep) | A: How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people (score: 104) | posted 3 days ago by whereswalden (777 rep) | Toxicity 0.1354297
This is a horrible answer. There are lots of good responses you could give, but "lie to her and feed her insecurity" is not one of them. — BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft 45 secs ago
#16778 BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft (101 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 52) | posted 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.74089307 | edited 4 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
#2515 AaronD (101 rep) | A: What is the difference between not answering a question and posting a frame challenge? (score: 17) | posted 143 days ago by Rainbacon (1299 rep) | Toxicity NoKey
5:41 PM
#16778 scohe001 (6901 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 54) | posted 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.13225853 | edited 4 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
+1 Like the OP, I initially found these kinds of questions very uncomfortable, and felt like I was being asked to lie or forced into a desired answer. But I gradually learned to take the very approach recommended in this answer, and it worked great! 14 years later we're still married, and I still field questions like this all the time... :) — Chris Sunami 35 secs ago
#16778 Chris Sunami (2422 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 56) | posted 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.048582837 | edited 4 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
6:34 PM
#16745 Beofett (4691 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 25) | posted 25 hours ago by Mark Perryman (350 rep) | Toxicity 0.039191738 | edited 8 hours ago by Mark Perryman (350 rep)
This seems very opinion based, and may be closed as such. We can't tell you when/what to do, but if you decide what it is you want to do we can help you find the words/actions to carry out your decision. — Jess K. 57 secs ago
#16793 Jess K. (15338 rep) | Q: How/When to Stop Conversation with other matches when dating online? (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Shufflepants (101 rep) | Toxicity 0.054142743
@JessK. I guess I didn't see it as opinion based since I'm looking for what is expected commonly or in general. Obviously individuals will have their own opinion on when/what they would like to happen, and an answerer can't know for any particular individual without knowing them, but I was looking for what is "common courtesy". — Shufflepants 37 secs ago
#16793 Shufflepants (99 rep) | Q: How/When to Stop Conversation with other matches when dating online? (score: -1) | posted 7 minutes ago by Shufflepants (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.115499064
I made some edits to the question, not sure if this will affect your answer -- I do know for a fact my brother spanks his child, and while my partner was the one initially concerned, I am now equally concerned myself after discussing with her. — J.A.R.V.I.S. 59 secs ago
#16791 J.A.R.V.I.S. (19 rep) | A: How can I talk to my brother about spanking his child? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Kate Gregory (25251 rep) | Toxicity 0.05832701
I see what you mean - although I'm not sure when it comes to modern dating (i.e. online) that there really is an expected norm, since everyone can have wildly different expectations. It's really going to come down to the individual you are going on dates with which may leave this still as too broad/opinion based. If this question does end up closed, I'd suggest maybe posting this in interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3129/… over in meta and getting some feedback on how to narrow it down - I think this could potentially be a good discussion. — Jess K. just now
#16793 Jess K. (15338 rep) | Q: How/When to Stop Conversation with other matches when dating online? (score: -1) | posted 15 minutes ago by Shufflepants (99 rep) | Toxicity 0.054425444 | edited 7 minutes ago by Shufflepants (99 rep)
6:53 PM
#3145 NVZ (9027 rep) | A: Can another person edit a question to add personal detail about the original poster? (score: 6) | posted 14 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep) | Toxicity NoKey | edited 14 hours ago by Catija (12182 rep)
I don't think it makes much difference, though I've edited slightly. Few people like a "you're doing it wrong" speech especially from someone who isn't doing it at all. Asking will, I think, be better for your relationship, more likely to lead to any changes you want in him, and potentially help you to be a better parent when the time comes. — Kate Gregory 9 secs ago
#16791 Kate Gregory (25251 rep) | A: How can I talk to my brother about spanking his child? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Kate Gregory (25251 rep) | Toxicity 0.07158474 | edited 1 minutes ago by Kate Gregory (25251 rep)
@Beofett Agreed. Though even if use of kitchen/bathroom is stipulated then I would expect the question of storage to be at the landlady's discretion. — Mark Perryman 29 secs ago
#16745 Mark Perryman (360 rep) | A: How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says "no"? (score: 26) | posted 26 hours ago by Mark Perryman (360 rep) | Toxicity 0.09119771 | edited 9 hours ago by Mark Perryman (360 rep)
#8793 Bishop (101 rep) | A: Correcting non-native speakers’ language (score: 17) | posted 196 days ago by (deleted user) | Toxicity 0.11328007 | edited 196 days ago by (deleted user)
7:41 PM
#16778 Joe (142 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 62) | posted 9 hours ago by Legisey (314 rep) | Toxicity 0.094571084 | edited 6 hours ago by Legisey (314 rep)
@LCIII: why do you say this? Loyalty is generally seen as a good thing; loyalty after death is exceptional, but highly praised. Even post-death loyalty of a dog is considered commendable (e.g. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hachikō) Her expectations may be unrealistic, but why is this a red flag, as you seem to indicate? — sharur 1 min ago
#16775 sharur (101 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 31) | posted 10 hours ago by GamerGypps (161 rep) | Toxicity 0.17068483 | edited 9 hours ago by GamerGypps (161 rep)
I'm voting this as off topic since it seems much more related to the specifics of Massachusetts landlord/tenant law than it is about interpersonal skills. — sphennings 1 min ago
#16794 sphennings (6689 rep) | Q: How to approach former landlord about agreement that was not upheld? (score: 0) | posted 33 minutes ago by Jenna Domek (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.07385733
I recommend asking a nearly obnoxious number of clarifying questions. It will either A) give you enough context to realize whether or not you are being trapped or mistreated and allow you to provide a sufficient response to that, or B) make her realize that she cannot possibly encompass the complexity of the real world in a simple hypothetical scenario without providing tons of detail. — JacobIRR 36 secs ago
#16775 JacobIRR (101 rep) | Q: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 31) | posted 10 hours ago by GamerGypps (161 rep) | Toxicity 0.18283905 | edited 10 hours ago by GamerGypps (161 rep)
8:09 PM
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because OP implies they want more of a legal opinion than interpersonal advice. They also explicitly ask "What should I do?" which is off topic. — spacetyper 1 min ago
#16794 spacetyper (622 rep) | Q: How to approach former landlord about agreement that was not upheld? (score: 0) | posted 57 minutes ago by Jenna Domek (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.13973923
Hey there! I notice you're new. This is more of a comment than an answer. I know you can't post comments which can be frustrating, but please review the help center before posting :) interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help — spacetyper 1 min ago
#16795 spacetyper (621 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: -1) | posted 11 minutes ago by rvdheij (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.04661116
8:35 PM
@Joe the message you reference reads "Please consider leaving a comment if you think this post can be improved." Saying "No. This is the wrong solution." and then arguing it isn't a suggestion for improvement. If you want to talk more about site policy, you can always post on Interpersonal Skills Meta :) — scohe001 1 min ago
#16778 scohe001 (6901 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 67) | posted 10 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.11209274 | edited 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
@scohe001, I agree, but the nuance between saying the post can be improved vs. saying the post is wrong is subtle and easily lost on new users. — Joe 31 secs ago
#16778 Joe (142 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 67) | posted 10 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.06619757 | edited 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
8:52 PM
@Joe that's a good point and maybe something we need to work on. I think it could be an interesting meta question, but this isn't the place for this kind of discussion ;) — scohe001 37 secs ago
#16778 scohe001 (6901 rep) | A: How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions? (score: 68) | posted 10 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep) | Toxicity 0.010527416 | edited 7 hours ago by Legisey (316 rep)
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