I really like this answer. It isn't about making him "care" about being more hygienic at all. It's just about doing things together. Eventually the force of habit takes over. Wonderful. — Slava Knyazev 38 secs ago
12:35 AM
#15572 Slava Knyazev (101 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 37) | posted 3 days ago by Mafii (1059 rep)
1 hour later…
1:56 AM
You can't really unring the bell, so what are you trying to accomplish here? Are you simply looking for a way to avoid this sort of situation in the future? Are you wondering if there's some way you could have backpedaled more smoothly? You'll need to be clearer about your end goal. — apaul 45 secs ago
#15649 apaul (37240 rep) | Q: How should I handle a case of accidental racism on my part? (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by Concerned (1 rep)
2:15 AM
I am unsure to this day why my supervisor said that but I'm not terribly interested in finding out why. I feel an "ignorance is bliss" strategy is best here. Especially considering the supervisor has otherwise been fantastic - i.e. he gladly writes most of the biochemistry background for our co-publications (whereas I write mostly the applied mathematical/programming methods sections). — David 38 secs ago
#15515 David (541 rep) | A: Responding to people questioning my single status? (score: 2) | posted 5 days ago by Amy (116 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Amy (116 rep)
2:38 AM
#15649 apaul (37240 rep) | Q: How should I handle a case of accidental racism on my part? (score: 0) | posted 52 minutes ago by Concerned (1 rep) | edited 37 minutes ago by Concerned (1 rep)
1 hour later…
3:39 AM
#15649 Concerned (1 rep) | Q: How should I apologise after saying something inadvertently racist? (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by Concerned (1 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Concerned (1 rep)
This keeps getting deleted, but this really is the better answer... "One thing to keep in mind that political issues might be a fun thought experiment for you, but an intensely personal issue to someone else, and they may well be offended by you treating it like an abstract academic exercise." That's some good stuff right there. — apaul 51 secs ago
#15357 apaul (37241 rep) | A: How can I play the devil's advocate in politics without being attacked? (score: 56) | posted 9 days ago by Em C (8023 rep) | edited 9 days ago by Em C (8023 rep)
4:11 AM
Did this man come from a third world muslim country? I heard about the case but don't know where he is from. If this is true where should be a problem explaining that? Perhaps you explained it not 100% tactfully. But racist? Come on... Tell your family to not make a problem out of every opportunity. Some people believe this behavior solves problems. But it only helps to increase them. — puck 53 secs ago
#15649 puck (579 rep) | Q: How should I apologise after saying something inadvertently racist? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Concerned (1 rep) | edited 33 minutes ago by Concerned (1 rep)
5:01 AM
'I'm from Germany...' Based on the tags, he's in Canada. He definitely should not play tit-for-tat sexual harassment if he enjoys his job and has not (a) already established an extensive record of inappropriate reactions and (b) already communicated them to HR. If he's avoiding HR for whatever reason, he should continue doing so from the complaint end as well. — lly 44 secs ago
#15452 lly (103 rep) | A: Responding to people questioning my single status? (score: 85) | posted 6 days ago by Randolph Carter (2212 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Kat (1941 rep)
5:18 AM
#5379 lly (103 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
6:05 AM
#3047 Ooker (154 rep) | A: Comment deletion on an off-topic question that may be about genuine crisis (score: 12) | posted 12 days ago by A J (6224 rep)
#3047 A J (6224 rep) | A: Comment deletion on an off-topic question that may be about genuine crisis (score: 12) | posted 12 days ago by A J (6224 rep)
6:31 AM
Did you ask her why she didn't offer to pay all of it in the first place? You didn't need to go, she did, and on top of that your car gets worn and it costs your time. I guess time might be well-spent, wear is hard to quantify, but gas is 100% on her unless you say that the trip was worth so much to you that you'll cover some of it. — Luc 22 secs ago
#15541 Luc (101 rep) | Q: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 58) | posted 4 days ago by The_Bird (399 rep) | edited 3 days ago by The_Bird (399 rep)
#15462 lukuss (806 rep) | Q: How to suggest someone to find a hobby without offending them? (score: 41) | posted 5 days ago by aMJay (318 rep) | edited 5 days ago by MiniRagnarok (103 rep) | Has magic comment
7:25 AM
#15586 Jay (140 rep) | Q: Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea (score: 36) | posted 3 days ago by Link0352 (3723 rep) | edited 2 days ago by T.J.L. (109 rep)
8:12 AM
@lly - Thanks for the useful link, even the comments are enlightening; though the Q&A's are applied to a child some adults there admit to offering such an answer. It's not a reasonable answer when a protracted and concerted effort is made - is it supposed to be some sort of involuntary action? Are they also a kleptomaniac, a nose picker, a bed kicker, ... One ought to know what they are doing and have a reasonable explanation when given time to think about it under normal circumstances. — Rob 31 secs ago
#5379 Rob (589 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
In this example, 'I want to see you think of me as a sexual being w/o getting in any trouble for it' becomes entirely self-defeating the moment it's verbalized. — lly 42 secs ago
#5379 lly (107 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
'One ought to know what they are doing and have a reasonable explanation when given time to think about it under normal circumstances'... I'm not saying you're wrong but (a) have you met people? Those articles about how most of us do things and rationalize them after the fact are probably more true than not. And (b) there's still going to be an air gap the size of the Grand Canyon between internally processing one's reasons and being willing to share that with a questioner. — lly 1 min ago
#5379 lly (107 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
It seems self-defeating to have your hands full and say: "Pass me one more" - IE: to be pregnant, pushing two baby carriages, or hanging onto your boyfriend's arm. I understand what you mean, there was a recent question: If you hang out a lot with a friend you want to date and you say it's a date then sometimes it might be and other times they didn't know it was. — Rob 1 min ago
#5379 Rob (589 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
#15625 WendyG (2072 rep) | A: How can I tell my mom that I found more beer in my brothers room while I was snooping? (score: 8) | posted 54 hours ago by apaul (37232 rep) | edited 47 hours ago by Spagirl (10779 rep)
With respect for a good answer (I upvoted it), I think the examples should be tailored to reflect @Bridgeburners question. I know it was a textwall, but in the middle s/he explicitly brought up and rejected lying about mouthfeel, health, or grossness. This would be a better answer if the examples were things that reflect OP's actual beliefs, which apparently have to do with global warming. — lly 1 min ago
#11747 lly (107 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 139) | posted 96 days ago by Dan Anderson (6885 rep) | edited 94 days ago by Community (1 rep)
@Bridgeburners Fwiw, Spagirl left off the actual most common reason: your behavior implicitly attacks their choices as unethical and nearly everyone thinks they're pretty good, thankyouverymuch. As for 'No particular reason', no, you really can't take that at face value. No one is going to address that honestly and say they felt attacked, if they were even able to understand and verbalize it to themselves. They'll just argue or resent you, which is what you're seeing. — lly 1 min ago
#11749 lly (107 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 106) | posted 96 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep) | edited 95 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep)
#15650 incog76 (474 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Robin (2024 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Erik (5973 rep)
You could do that, but you are not obliged to do that. I am shy too, yet I still find things to do, and sometimes I enjoy a day inside. even when I am on a holiday. On top of that, she doesn't want to be your friend anymore it seems, and if I were you I would put not a lot of effort in accommodating her needs anymore. To say it bluntly, She is not your problem anymore and you should not feel guilty about her possibly missing out on a day just because she is too introverted to act on her own. — Robin 1 min ago
#15650 Robin (2024 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Robin (2024 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Erik (5973 rep)
9:16 AM
@lly - At the risk of oversimplification it seems like: Dissociative Disorder, more specifically: Depersonalization Disorder. — Rob 1 min ago
#5379 Rob (589 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
#15653 Cashbee (3352 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by A random lady (181 rep)
#15637 Randolph Carter (2232 rep) | Q: How to talk to a friend claiming to go on a rampage? (score: 7) | posted 20 hours ago by Jens (139 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Jens (139 rep)
@gnasher729 Ok I'll come out here as the ossified backwards thinking person. I am a guy who always expected he would pay for everything (or most things anyway) and is quite happy about it. I feel it is my responsibility to take care of the financial stability of the relationship (marriage at this point). When I had a much less demanding job I would deal with my share of housework but these days I only do the "stereotypically" male jobs. Both me and my wife are very happy and after 16 years have a great marriage. It's not for everyone, but it's for someone is all I'm saying. — DRF 1 min ago
#15549 DRF (103 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 6) | posted 4 days ago by Smart Girl (69 rep)
#15653 Cashbee (3352 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by A random lady (181 rep)
9:51 AM
Thank you. To be slightly pedantic (I'm a techie, so it's my nature), it's not StackExchange that's not showing them, it's any modern browser that doesn't show them in markup (You'll see them in the edit window though, because that shows the actual input). — AHamilton 55 secs ago
#3084 AHamilton (1120 rep) | A: How to handle double space after period and edits? (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (18189 rep)
'(Namely, health reasons, personal taste in food, or physical revulsion. None of these three apply to me.)' - This is not what veganism is about though. Veganism is about caring for animals and wanting to stop abuse. Veganism goes beyond food, it's a lifestyle. I've also never heard about thee reasons being the 'main' or 'popular' reasons, it's usually quite the opposite. A lot of vegans aren't healthy at all, there's tons of vegan junk food around. I'm wondering why/how you think your reason for going vegan is so different or special. — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#11739 JaneDoe1337 (3524 rep) | Q: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 129) | posted 96 days ago by Bridgeburners (737 rep) | edited 89 days ago by Bridgeburners (737 rep)
#15653 Raditz_35 (189 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 2) | posted 49 minutes ago by A random lady (191 rep) | edited 25 minutes ago by Cashbee (3352 rep)
10:33 AM
#15653 SQB (4078 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by A random lady (189 rep)
#15653 A random lady (189 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by A random lady (189 rep)
#3084 Tinkeringbell (18189 rep) | A: How to handle double space after period and edits? (score: 1) | posted 53 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (18189 rep)
@lly Bridgeburners is dealing with other adults not seven year olds. Conversationally, of course Bb can take it at face value, he is seeking to avoid confrontational exchanges, if X asks 'why vegan?', Bb replies 'what makes you ask?', X says 'no particular reason', Bb and X have navigated a potential confrontation and avoided it. Why on earth would Bb NOT take the reply at face value *even if they think its a way of backing down from a belief that X thinks he is being criticised? if X won't articulate that then Bb's achieved their goal. — Spagirl 12 secs ago
#11749 Spagirl (10779 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 106) | posted 96 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep) | edited 95 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep)
#15651 Glen_b (209 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by Glen_b (209 rep)
#15651 Cashbee (3351 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: -2) | posted 3 hours ago by Glen_b (207 rep)
11:08 AM
Thanks for your comments. That's at least some clue as to what the problem might be. I am aware it's not required, hence the phrasing as a request. — Glen_b 34 secs ago
#15651 Glen_b (205 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: -3) | posted 3 hours ago by Glen_b (205 rep)
What he actually said is 'I hate being dishonest, but I also hate eroding my relationships'. In actuality, X still quite likely resents @Bridgeburners's status and his avoidance of the question. Bb doesn't have to CHALLENGE the answer to X's face, but he should understand the issue wasn't resolved, which is why his relatives and acquaintances keep needling him over it, despite having 'navigated away from confrontation' in the past. — lly 1 min ago
#11749 lly (123 rep) | A: How do I answer the question "why are you vegan?" honestly, without making them resent me? (score: 106) | posted 96 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep) | edited 95 days ago by Spagirl (10779 rep)
11:46 AM
As to your answers: 1 - looks good, thanks, 2 - does seeing them as a couple involve not getting to communicate with her without him? If yes, it's still unclear how that can be communicated to them. — A random lady just now
#15655 A random lady (189 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by Astralbee (14337 rep)
Thank you for your answer. Let me be clear in here: I like some people and dislike others. It is not always 100% explainable why. Here I have stated some reasons, however, they don't really matter, what matters is: I DO NOT like Alice and I WON'T like her, let's just take it as something that won't change. I have written this not to get advice on how I should like people or not. I have respect for their marriage, but it's THEIR marriage and not mine. — A random lady 1 min ago
#15655 A random lady (189 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 13 minutes ago by Astralbee (14337 rep)
12:03 PM
Could ben be telling you he isn't interested in a friendship with you alone, that is why he is pushing you to his wife? — WendyG 14 secs ago
#15653 WendyG (2072 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep)
12:20 PM
@Arandomlady I accept we can't always explain why we dislike someone, but if we can't explain it then by definition it is irrational. You have given one reason which I addressed. If there are any other reasons you are holding back on then either tell us what they are, or expect any answers to be based on what you have given. — Astralbee 37 secs ago
#15655 Astralbee (14337 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 47 minutes ago by Astralbee (14337 rep)
#15657 Em C (8073 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 5 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep)
@EmC we have a different type of contract, we're 'life partners' as we call it here. Vacations are usually 50/50, unless I can't afford and then he'll chip in more. — JaneDoe1337 11 secs ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 10 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep)
Ah, is that a legal status...? Sorry, I'm from the US so I am wondering if my experience translates or not. I'm a little confused if you are "life partners" but are keeping separate finances to the point where you can't pursue hobbies but he can. (At least in US) if you were unmarried, that makes sense as it's his money and your money and he wants to protect himself if you separate, but married it is basically all both of yours. — Em C 27 secs ago
#15657 Em C (8073 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 17 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep)
@EmC Yes it's a legal status here! Even if you're married here you can still choose to be married without sharing your belongings, which is what a lot of people I know do. — JaneDoe1337 25 secs ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 20 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep)
Yeah, my father was the same way. I'd say something innocuous like, "The engine in my car runs at 3000 rpm when traveling at 70 MPH". He'd shout "AN ENGINE CAN'T RUN AT 3000 RPM!". OK, Dad. He meant "an engine with mechanical points", which might float at those RPM's - but with electronic ignition it worked Just Fine. A case of out-of-date knowledge on his part. I just learned to say, "OK", and he'd settle down and I could ignore him. This is, BTW, the reason that kids don't listen to their parents. It's not that we're stupid - it's just that what we "know" ain't that way no mo'... — Bob Jarvis 1 min ago
#15469 Bob Jarvis (281 rep) | Q: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 101) | posted 6 days ago by Belle-Sophie (2334 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Em C (8073 rep)
#15659 Jon.G (1698 rep) | Q: Will my anxiety disorder ruin my career? (score: 0) | posted 11 minutes ago by Yogesh (1 rep)
I doubt the requests and pressure to get a tattoo will stop if you reward them like that. Quite the opposite - if A is "increasingly more obsessive and possessive", she will quickly catch on - the more you demand, the more you get. — Kobi 54 secs ago
#15588 Kobi (101 rep) | A: Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea (score: 11) | posted 3 days ago by Ilia L (119 rep)
i too would try and dig into why you dislike alice. having read both question and answer it just strikes me as the core of the whole issue that can be addressed once its identified. my gut feeling just reading in and between the lines is that you might consider alice as a rival. — Marcus 21 secs ago
#15655 Marcus (59 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (14337 rep) | edited 31 minutes ago by Astralbee (14337 rep)
@KevinFegan OP did say that: #2 on the list and "If i refuse to kiss him until he brushes his teeth, he ... will do as i request, but then just continues to skip it every day following until I bring it up again." — Em C 23 secs ago
#15570 Em C (8073 rep) | Q: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 90) | posted 4 days ago by user18833 (374 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Em C (8073 rep)
Thank you for the answer, but maybe I should have been clearer: when I say "design", I mean only finding a font/symbol, not actually making the tattoo itself. I'll edit my question to clear out ambiguity — Slapped Penguin 8 secs ago
#15661 Slapped Penguin (316 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by gnasher729 (2784 rep)
@SlappedPenguin i think that is what gnasher meant too. No matter how small your contribution to that tattoo is, your brother could eventually find some blame in you if the results are not as expected. — Cashbee 12 secs ago
#15661 Cashbee (3352 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 0) | posted 8 minutes ago by gnasher729 (2784 rep)
I appreciate the comments, but I would like to stress again that I am not asking to figure out why I like this or that person and to change that. My reasons for disliking Alice are pretty deep and are not something I would like to discuss here. I disrespect her because of a lot of things she did and continues to do which are illegal and cruel. I most definitely do not consider Alice as rival because I have absolutely no intention to get romantically involved with Ben. — A random lady 26 secs ago
#15655 A random lady (189 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (14347 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by Astralbee (14347 rep)
#15655 Astralbee (14347 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by Astralbee (14347 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by Astralbee (14347 rep)
Indeed, he could accept your choice of font at first, get the tattoo made, and then 6 months later begin claiming he hates that font and blaming you for choosing it. — Steve-O 5 secs ago
#15661 Steve-O (101 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 1) | posted 13 minutes ago by gnasher729 (2794 rep)
@WendyG No, I am quite sure it's not the case. He just wants his wife to be happy and he actually thinks I will also benefit from communicating with her, but that will not be true. — A random lady 32 secs ago
#15653 A random lady (189 rep) | Q: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by A random lady (189 rep)
Why does he not let the professionals help him find the perfect font/symbol with him? The preparation part (everything before actually shooting ink into the skin) is a long and very important procedure. Is it really because his god told him to 'ask' you, or could it be other reasons (financial, emotional)? — Cashbee 23 secs ago
#15658 Cashbee (3352 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 1) | posted 39 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (316 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (316 rep)
Do you have any tattoos yourself? If not, you could take the position that you don't like tattoos and don't want to be involved in designing his tattoo because of your feelings on the subject. (Whether it's true or not - it makes the conversation about tattoos, not about religion.) — Steve-O 1 min ago
#15658 Steve-O (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 1) | posted 39 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (316 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (316 rep)
@Thanos - The reason is I just do not get any pleasure from drinking alcohol or socialising with people I already spend at least 40 hours each week. To me it is just as unnecessary six hours a week overtime. — Anonymous 44 secs ago
#15358 Anonymous (30 rep) | Q: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 5) | posted 9 days ago by Anonymous (30 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Em C (8073 rep)
+1 this is my experience too with a very similar situation. I don't even try to engage in disagreements anymore. It's sad but ultimately, it's not worth my energy trying to put forth things that get disagreed with for the sake of disagreeing. — Elysian Fields 34 secs ago
#15480 Elysian Fields (718 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 152) | posted 5 days ago by BradC (2648 rep) | edited 3 days ago by BradC (2648 rep)
Your (1) suggestion to me sounds like you've never had a father like the OPs. Having very similar experiences to the OP, I... cannot recommend (1) as a healthy option. The type of personality OP is describing doesn't take well to what is basically a "you are wrong all the time, why?" type of conversation. — Elysian Fields 1 min ago
#15516 Elysian Fields (718 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 11) | posted 5 days ago by Nat (357 rep)
#15358 Anonymous (35 rep) | Q: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 6) | posted 9 days ago by Anonymous (35 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Em C (8173 rep)
1:26 PM
Thank you for the first answer. The difficulty is I cannot be so open about my introvertism as my job spec usually says 'excellent communicator', 'enormous team player' etc. — Anonymous 22 secs ago
#15652 Anonymous (35 rep) | A: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by AHamilton (1140 rep)
#15368 Anonymous (35 rep) | A: Does the way that someone signs an email change how I should address them? (score: 12) | posted 9 days ago by cheshire (1926 rep) | edited 9 days ago by cheshire (1926 rep)
#15649 Steve-O (121 rep) | Q: How should I apologise after saying something inadvertently racist? (score: -1) | posted 11 hours ago by Concerned (1 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Concerned (1 rep)
Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat. — HDE 226868 ♦ 7 secs ago
#5379 HDE 226868 (6912 rep) | A: Why do people flirt in customer service situations? (score: 0) | posted 246 days ago by Rob (589 rep)
@Anonymous You can be an introvert and also be an excellent communicator and team player. They are not mutually exclusive traits. — David K 58 secs ago
#15652 David K (958 rep) | A: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 1) | posted 4 hours ago by AHamilton (1140 rep)
@Astralbee I am not saying I respect Ben. For me the meaning of this word is a notch higher that friendly communication. But he did end one of her illegal activities and is trying to end other wrong things she does, but, of course, it is still her decision to pursue those activities. — A random lady 15 secs ago
#15655 A random lady (194 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by Astralbee (14341 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by Astralbee (14341 rep)
Why not just design it for him, but just a little bit off-spec. E.g., open up a text editor, pick a random font (say Comic Sans) and type: "You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you. I am the LORD." -Leviticus 19:28 — dr jimbob 7 secs ago
#15658 dr jimbob (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (326 rep) | edited 52 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (326 rep)
Because I am trying to avert the conflict, not instigate it. He knows I would know better than picking Comic Sans — Slapped Penguin 1 min ago
#15658 Slapped Penguin (326 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (326 rep) | edited 55 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (326 rep)
... I don't think this is a good tactic. I suspect the OP's father may find this obnoxious and infuriating as a coward's way to dodge an argument in bad faith without convincing or being convinced by the other party.... I could be wrong though. As r41n points out, it does leave them without the satisfaction of closure on a point of contention, but isn't that actually provocative rather than defusing? — ttbek 6 secs ago
#15480 ttbek (101 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 153) | posted 5 days ago by BradC (2658 rep) | edited 3 days ago by BradC (2658 rep)
We have discussed the subject of me disliking Alice with Ben many times and he seemed to still be willing to communicate with me. Apparently, now either not anymore, or he doesn't really understand. I'm also fine with ending the communication with both of them, as I mentioned in my post, but I am unsure how to do it (as I also mentioned). — A random lady 1 min ago
#15662 A random lady (194 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 3) | posted 33 minutes ago by Steve-O (131 rep)
Thank you for your answer. Seeing things from Ben's perspective is the reason for me to post this. Because obviously I understand he wants me to be friends with Alice etc. The thing is, I personally think all people are different, and it's very normal to like one and not like another, even if that other is the significant other or a friend of the first one. I wouldn't mind if my husband had a friend who didn't like me. — A random lady 1 min ago
#15662 A random lady (194 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 3) | posted 33 minutes ago by Steve-O (131 rep)
#15652 AHamilton (1140 rep) | A: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 1) | posted 5 hours ago by AHamilton (1140 rep) | edited 38 seconds ago by AHamilton (1140 rep)
When he tells you that he wants you to pay more then you originally agreed upon, does he deny the original agreement? Or does he admit that he original agreed to certain amounts, but now wants to change it? Where I'm going is wondering if documenting the original agreement in more detail would help or not. — Dave Goldberg 15 secs ago
#15657 Dave Goldberg (460 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3534 rep)
What was implied, to me, in this answer, was that not every graphic design can be executed, or at least, not every graphic design can be executed by every professional tattoo artist. If they get a design from the tattooist, they can be reasonably sure the person at least thinks they can execute it. It's not so much about design as execution. Perhaps this answer could make that clearer? — Aaron Hall 7 secs ago
#15661 Aaron Hall (103 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 8) | posted 1 hours ago by gnasher729 (2806 rep)
2:29 PM
Unfortunately, me moving out is not happening anytime soon, and he wants his tattoo in a few weeks' time. — Slapped Penguin 1 min ago
#15666 Slapped Penguin (351 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -1) | posted 4 minutes ago by tomdemaine (99 rep)
@ElysianFields 'course the "you are wrong all of the time, why?" is a framing that shouldn't be used. The OP shouldn't discuss why they're wrong all of the time, but rather why they're always having a "back-and-forth". Even in more extreme cases like an utterly self-obsessed narcissist who turns violent upon being criticized, there're still viable framings here, e.g. "I've noticed that I'm always messing up in our discussions at dinner, and I'd like to ask for your help in how to talk less stupidly.". — Nat 1 min ago
#15516 Nat (357 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 11) | posted 5 days ago by Nat (357 rep)
For more context, maybe it would help if you specified: (a) what country you're in, (b) your age, (c) whether or not you and your brother live together. — Radu Murzea 1 min ago
#15658 Radu Murzea (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (351 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (351 rep)
2:47 PM
Have you tried with Leviticus 19:28(Bible)? It says there pretty clear that God hates this things: Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD. — lukuss 17 secs ago
#15658 lukuss (856 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (351 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (351 rep)
not a full answer, but note that to Western standards 6 months to test the waters isn't necessarily considered that much. Many people have relationships from 1-12 months before they find someone they want to marry. So it may not be as big a deal for her than for you. But ultimately as the other questions imply, you can only ask and hope for a proper reply. — Darkwing 57 secs ago
#13847 Darkwing (534 rep) | Q: How to contact to partner after breakup who does not want to talk (score: 0) | posted 48 days ago by Simon.Hermit (9 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Em C (8173 rep)
#3073 Words Like Jared (340 rep) | A: What I can do to make my question a fit for this site? (score: 2) | posted 7 days ago by sphennings (6314 rep)
@Wilson, the same way. "How could you think your car could possibly be so wide?" "Ok." Say something benign that acknowledges that the other person said something, but then continue on with what you were saying. — Ian MacDonald 11 secs ago
#15480 Ian MacDonald (101 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 157) | posted 6 days ago by BradC (2698 rep) | edited 4 days ago by BradC (2698 rep)
I try to help people sometimes. I always ask for specifics. When they self-assess they'll omit certain details they don't think are relevant. When they recall an entire situation I'll notice details they overlooked. Those details will often times be what they said or did. I assume the details would help others help me. That's why I wanted to provide them. I did, however, try to follow your advice and be general, instead. — Words Like Jared 27 secs ago
#3073 Words Like Jared (340 rep) | A: What I can do to make my question a fit for this site? (score: 2) | posted 7 days ago by sphennings (6314 rep)
3:12 PM
@DaveGoldberg he will acknowledge it but will reply with 'but you have more money now' or 'but you can afford x' (while really that will leave me near bankrupt. I have not been able to save up any money by myself.) — JaneDoe1337 1 min ago
#15657 JaneDoe1337 (3539 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3539 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3539 rep)
3:23 PM
#15672 Raditz_35 (189 rep) | Q: How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid (score: -1) | posted 16 minutes ago by Riddler (1 rep)
like in most situations, people tend to forget things, even important dates. How many times do movies and TV shows make fun of absent-minded males on forgetting anniversaries and what not? fairly frequently. So forgetting something a friend told you isn't exactly unusual. Especially if it's something not as important to you as it is to them. — ggiaquin16 5 secs ago
#15672 ggiaquin16 (1690 rep) | Q: How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid (score: -1) | posted 17 minutes ago by Riddler (1 rep)
yep! It can also be said that if he is allowed a mini fridge in his bedroom, then either his parents don't think it's a big deal knowing that he can easily hide alcohol there, or he was purposely given a minifridge to hide the alcohol and they trust he would be smart about it... either way... I don't know any parent who would let their kid have a mini fridge while knowing they may have a drinking issue... — ggiaquin16 1 min ago
#15625 ggiaquin16 (1690 rep) | A: How can I tell my mom that I found more beer in my brothers room while I was snooping? (score: 10) | posted 2 days ago by apaul (37302 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by TheRealLester (1773 rep)
#15672 Jess K. (13406 rep) | Q: How to react to a conversation where a friend is indirectly revealed as trans/fluid (score: -1) | posted 26 minutes ago by Riddler (1 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by Em C (8172 rep)
possible-aic:
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
- q: ^you\Wneed\Wto((?!\?).)*$
- q: two\Wcents
- q: ^.*respond((?!(meta|\?)).)*$
- q: tell\W(them|h(im|er))
- q: if\Wi\Wwh?ere
- q: an?\W(answer|solution).?\Wbut
- q: ^(.{1,50})?just(.{1,50})?((?!(\?)).)$
- q: ^(.{1,20})?".*"$
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
- q: ^you\Wneed\Wto((?!\?).)*$
- q: two\Wcents
- q: ^.*respond((?!(meta|\?)).)*$
- q: tell\W(them|h(im|er))
- q: if\Wi\Wwh?ere
- q: an?\W(answer|solution).?\Wbut
- q: ^(.{1,50})?just(.{1,50})?((?!(\?)).)$
- q: ^(.{1,20})?".*"$
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
4:00 PM
#15658 scohe001 (4958 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 9) | posted 3 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (356 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (356 rep)
have you heard of financial abuse. womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/… he is making you spend more than you want to with the promise of help, the refusing that help, leaving you short of money and reliant upon him. — WendyG 31 secs ago
#15657 WendyG (2072 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3539 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3539 rep)
I think they know, but maybe are not aware of how serious it is. Regardless, one of the reasons I haven't moved out yet was to spare them of the stress of dealing with him all by themselves. So I would rather avoid them getting involved as much as possible. — Slapped Penguin 1 min ago
#15658 Slapped Penguin (356 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 9) | posted 3 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (356 rep) | edited 33 minutes ago by Slapped Penguin (356 rep)
I agree. However my experience is the person you are talking to will take it that way regardless, unless the OP self degrades themselves. — Elysian Fields 1 min ago
#15516 Elysian Fields (718 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 12) | posted 5 days ago by Nat (367 rep)
#15575 clark (210 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 97) | posted 4 days ago by lukuss (886 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by lukuss (886 rep)
4:45 PM
@Anonymous I think it is safest to match the formality since some people may find the additional formality unnecessary or even annoying. I would say this is comparable to a situation where someone asked, "Please, call me Joe" but you continued to call him, "Mr. Smith". You are blatantly disrespecting their request to drop a level of formality. All in all, it totally depends on the person and I can't imagine anyone being offended if you kept up the formality (particularly in academia) on your end unless they specifically asked you not to. — cheshire 19 secs ago
#15368 cheshire (1926 rep) | A: Does the way that someone signs an email change how I should address them? (score: 12) | posted 9 days ago by cheshire (1926 rep) | edited 9 days ago by cheshire (1926 rep)
OP noted in a comment replying to a similar suggestion: "I am trying to avert the conflict, not instigate it. He knows I would know better than picking Comic Sans." — Em C 23 secs ago
#15669 Em C (8172 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -1) | posted 2 hours ago by bukwyrm (135 rep)
#15657 mbomb007 (230 rep) | Q: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 6) | posted 4 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3554 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by JaneDoe1337 (3554 rep)
I actually think it is a bit short-sighted to say that her reasons do not matter. Everybody compromises, even in marriage. If @Arandomlady has some qualities Ben likes but compromised on by marrying Alice, this sheds a whole new light on the relationship dynamic and probably Ben's motives. — Randolph Carter 1 min ago
#15662 Randolph Carter (2231 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Steve-O (131 rep)
#15658 vsz (342 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 12) | posted 4 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (371 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (371 rep)
5:32 PM
+1, also, I think it's worth adding a bit more emphasis on the point touched on at the very end: Part of the problem here was that OP went into a situation with different expectations (who pays for gas), and neither party communicated those expectations until after the situation was done. People tend to react negatively when they are told that they're now in debt because of terms that they didn't know about and didn't agree to but which are now being imposed on you. — mtraceur 23 secs ago
#15542 mtraceur (101 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 149) | posted 4 days ago by scohe001 (5028 rep) | edited 56 hours ago by V2Blast (205 rep)
5:43 PM
Hi Yogesh and welcome! Unfortunately predicting the future is not something any of us can do! Many people have successful lives while dealing with anxiety and other issues. This question as it stands is hard for us to provide an objective answer but if you want to reword it and ask how you can cope with moderate anxiety in a work environment, that may be a better question! — ggiaquin16 35 secs ago
#15659 ggiaquin16 (1700 rep) | Q: Will my anxiety disorder ruin my career? (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by Yogesh (1 rep)
6:00 PM
This really sounds like a situation where a third party is needed. The huge imbalance in incomes is obviously giving him a huge amount of power over her that isn't fair in a permanent relationship. — Azor Ahai 9 secs ago
#15676 Azor Ahai (238 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (480 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (480 rep)
When I encountered similar situations, it turned out the appeasement in this answer doesn't work. They want to assert dominance. So if they don't find something which is easy to argue about, they strive so long until they do find something. There are things where one can make himself believe that he is right. If I try to avoid such topics (to stop arguments) it gets much worse: he gets much more angry and agitated (because it's harder for him to make himself look like he was right), because now he needs to find something else to challenge, like the example "I've seen a cat" / "No you didn't". — vsz 2 mins ago
#15480 vsz (347 rep) | A: How can I handle my father challenging everything I say? (score: 158) | posted 6 days ago by BradC (2708 rep) | edited 4 days ago by BradC (2708 rep)
@EmC It doesn't have to be "something random." Tell them you joined a sports league or something else that's Tuesdays and Thursdays or something. — Azor Ahai 28 secs ago
#15358 Azor Ahai (238 rep) | Q: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 6) | posted 10 days ago by Anonymous (35 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Em C (8182 rep)
6:18 PM
#15358 Em C (8182 rep) | Q: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 6) | posted 10 days ago by Anonymous (35 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Em C (8182 rep)
@EmC Ah, I suppose I read past that. I found the second person really hard to read. But I'm not going to answer because I haven't had any personal experience avoiding my coworkers and they're really cracking down on answers like that. — Azor Ahai 36 secs ago
#15358 Azor Ahai (238 rep) | Q: How to avoid endless corporate evening pubs but still have nice relationship with the colleagues? (score: 6) | posted 10 days ago by Anonymous (35 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Em C (8182 rep)
Yes, the last point needs a little more attention. I wouldn't be surprised if most of her resistance to contributing to gas money was due to there being no up-front expectation of it on her part. Everyone she's been with in the past didn't do it, so she had no reason to assume OP would do it. I think eating the cost on this trip and apologizing, followed by a discussion for future trips would save a lot of heartache. — Doktor J 19 secs ago
#15542 Doktor J (101 rep) | A: How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip? (score: 150) | posted 5 days ago by scohe001 (5048 rep) | edited 57 hours ago by V2Blast (205 rep)
@AzorAhai The reason I proposed a third party is that they seem to have very different ideas about what's going on and how to move forward. JaneDoe1337 views the percentages as a settled issue. I suspect that her partner views it as "I'm carrying most of the load, so as more costs come in, we should split them 50/50". (yes, I'm guessing here). They need a third party to bring these hidden assumptions out in the open and resolve them. — Dave Goldberg just now
#15676 Dave Goldberg (480 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (480 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Dave Goldberg (480 rep)
#15674 Azor Ahai (238 rep) | A: How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating? (score: 1) | posted 2 hours ago by A random lady (204 rep)
Not to be rude or anything, but is your boss on the heavier side? I'm slightly overweight and because of it I tend to sweat a lot. Also how hot does it get in the office? — TheRealLester 35 secs ago
#15683 TheRealLester (1863 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 39 minutes ago by I am bored (106 rep)
#15683 I am bored (106 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 46 minutes ago by I am bored (106 rep)
Interesting. Also can you be more specific on what you mean when you say his laptop is really nasty? — TheRealLester 5 secs ago
#15683 TheRealLester (1883 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 49 minutes ago by I am bored (106 rep)
#15683 Thorsten S. (1881 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 50 minutes ago by I am bored (111 rep)
7:13 PM
#15683 I am bored (111 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by I am bored (111 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by Alex (779 rep)
@TheRealLester it has small crumbs (or whatever it is, i dont really want to know) and hairs on his touchpad and on his keyboard keys. The screen is the same. — I am bored 1 min ago
#15683 I am bored (111 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by I am bored (111 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by Alex (779 rep)
7:24 PM
Whether you should tell him or not isn't very on-topic for this site. Although that would be a good question for Workplace SE. How to phrase it is also off-topic, but we could answer the question of how to convey your concerns to him with the goal of helping him realize the tangible negatives of his hygiene. However, you should really think about the sweating issue. There is a very real possibility he cannot control that. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#15683 Clay07g (4122 rep) | Q: Telling my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by I am bored (111 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by Alex (779 rep)
7:35 PM
@TheRealLester please avoid making pointless edits; there's no need to change British to American spellings (interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2965/…). — Em C 35 secs ago
#12115 Em C (8183 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 61) | posted 90 days ago by Belle-Sophie (2347 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1893 rep)
#12115 TheRealLester (1893 rep) | Q: How can I suggest to someone that he may potentially be colourblind? (score: 61) | posted 90 days ago by Belle-Sophie (2347 rep) | edited 31 seconds ago by Em C (8183 rep)
With this approach, what to do we do if there is no external root cause to attack? What if someone doesn't mind smelling bad because their smell does not offend them and it is simply more work to shower regularly? Can you explain what we'd do if someone has the time and money to buy new clothes, but prefers their 12 year-old t-shirt? — Rob P. 2 mins ago
#15592 Rob P. (101 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 19) | posted 4 days ago by Lofty Withers (301 rep) | edited 4 days ago by Em C (8183 rep)
The last resort section is not up to par. Bashing religion is not a (civil) solution to this problem. — TheRealLester 52 secs ago
#15685 TheRealLester (1923 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1923 rep)
I already tried the gum trick, didn't work. I really can't take him aside to tell him, I would be too much embarrassed — I am bored 1 min ago
#15684 I am bored (111 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 26 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1923 rep)
#15684 TheRealLester (1923 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 29 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1923 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1923 rep)
How does this answer the question the OP actually asked? I personally have omitted destructive family members from my life. I know others who have done the same. There is no reason to assume the OP can't do it if he/she is committed to doing so. There is no reason to assume they want to or must be the one to snap their brother out of anything. — user61524 54 secs ago
#15685 user61524 (131 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 24 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1938 rep)
@TheRealLester Brain washing the youth into all these nonsense is not civil. All I'm saying is that he should let some light in the abyss pit that his brother has fallen into and THEN having seen and heard things that he have not seen and heard before , his brother can decide more cleary which path to follow. — ArashSM79 8 secs ago
#15685 ArashSM79 (1 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 25 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by TheRealLester (1938 rep)
8:19 PM
Although I see you toned down the main text a little, it is quite offensive to suggest that religious faith is "nonsense" and "brainwashing". OP's brother is an adult. Regardless, this answer has very little in the way of backup - how to approach the parents? why do you expect this to work, especially if the parents aren't necessarily aware of how severe the issues are between OP and brother and OP doesn't want to get them involved? — Em C 19 secs ago
#15685 Em C (8182 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 40 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep)
@user61524 Very clearly actually. I've mentioned three course of actions that he can take in order not to make his brother angry when he says "no" to him ;) . and last part might actually save their relationship or at least make it more tolerable until he leaves the house. nothing wrong with that, eh? — ArashSM79 59 secs ago
#15685 ArashSM79 (1 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 40 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep)
@ArashSM79 Your first suggestion repeats what others have said but with a video link included. Your second assumed the OP's parents will/can handle the issue for them, something the OP doesn't suggest is possible. They appear to want to keep the parents out of it. Your third assumes they want to save their relationship with their brother when they say otherwise in their question. Overall, you're answer comes across more as you think you know what they need rather than answering what they've asked. You might want to review and edit. — user61524 42 secs ago
#15685 user61524 (131 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 47 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 20 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep)
Even if the dressing up is not as "special" to the boyfriend, it does not mean the date is somehow less special. It's a communication issue, first and foremost. — jpaugh 18 secs ago
#15575 jpaugh (101 rep) | A: How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend? (score: 96) | posted 4 days ago by lukuss (884 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by lukuss (884 rep)
This is not an answer, just advice for the aftermath: If, when you refuse to do the tattoo, he gets violent or assaults you, you need to go to the police. It's going to suck, and probably tear your family up a bit, but if he's been violent before (with anyone, not just you) and you are afraid to refuse his stupid request because he might become enraged and physical, it will only get worse. You will probably want to talk to your parents as well and try to get them to understand, but whether they do or not, you need to protect yourself. — iamnotmaynard 1 min ago
#15658 iamnotmaynard (101 rep) | Q: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: 17) | posted 7 hours ago by Slapped Penguin (396 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Em C (8192 rep)
@user61524 thanks for your suggestions. I believe the answer is eminently coherent. The OP's opinion takes precedence, so making a fuss about the answer by you is quite fatuous. — ArashSM79 32 secs ago
#15685 ArashSM79 (1 rep) | A: Saying "No" to my brother's demand without causing an argument (score: -3) | posted 59 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep) | edited 32 minutes ago by ArashSM79 (1 rep)
@RandolphCarter The OP is the one who said the reasons don't matter. I'm merely taking her word for that. — Steve-O 12 secs ago
#15662 Steve-O (161 rep) | A: How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife (score: 6) | posted 7 hours ago by Steve-O (161 rep)
2 hours later…
11:08 PM
I would recommend against anonymous notes. If someone were to leave an anonymous note about my hygiene on my desk, I'd be livid and think it was cowardly. — baldPrussian 58 secs ago
#15684 baldPrussian (18421 rep) | A: How to tell my boss about his lack of hygiene (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by TheRealLester (1953 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by TheRealLester (1953 rep)
I should clarify that even though 'm not happy with our 7+ year friendship being reduced to "coworkers", basically, she is happy with this outcome and doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong in not wanting to do activities outside work hours (even though, we barely talk during work hours as is). she also bluntly told me (after I questioned her wanting to spend a month overseas with only me), that she was "prepared" to endure the trip, but that outside that, she doesn't want contact with "people she sees Mon-Fri". 1/2 — incog76 58 secs ago
#15654 incog76 (479 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 2) | posted 12 hours ago by Jesse (4756 rep)
all that aside, considering she's left me to plan the entire trip without any input form her even when I try to engage her in conversation about it, and also knowing her, I know that she won't want to go off and do things seperately if she has to. we've travelled together before and this has always held true.so I really hope I can convince her to spend part of one day on her own... 2/2 — incog76 25 secs ago
#15654 incog76 (479 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 2) | posted 12 hours ago by Jesse (4756 rep)
11:33 PM
#15650 incog76 (481 rep) | A: How do I politely tell someone I don't want them to meet a friend with me? (score: 6) | posted 17 hours ago by Robin (2059 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by Erik (5972 rep)
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