@Physics-Compute Your bias is hanging out. — apaul 58 secs ago
12:12 AM
#1866 apaul (32697 rep) | Q: Can we agree that certain terms are offensive and stop using them on the site? (score: -4) | posted 184 days ago by apaul (32697 rep)
#2769 apaul (32697 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -2) | posted 28 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
I'm not really sure how that affects the question... the answer is still "address them the way they wish to be addressed". If you don't agree with their preference to use the gender pronouns they wish, I don't really think you'd be asking the question in the first place. — Catija ♦ 22 secs ago
#2769 Catija (10975 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -2) | posted 33 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 18 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
12:28 AM
@dwizum good point. I'll edit for that. For AnoE: do you not think I gave explicit suggestions of exactly what to do? I didn't suggest sending her to therapy, I merely suggested that if after trying they cannot jointly achieve a life in which she feels secure, family therapy can sometimes help a lot in very little time. With that said, I do believe this kind of interaction is not healthy, and that people are much happier when they resolve the underlying issues. — Craig.Feied 41 secs ago
#12878 Craig.Feied (521 rep) | A: Maintaining honesty while being comforting in response to insecurity about relationship? (score: 45) | posted 4 days ago by Craig.Feied (521 rep) | edited 2 days ago by Craig.Feied (521 rep)
1:13 AM
This would be nice except I've just seen an answer that followed these rules and you objected to this answer - in a comment - because you felt that the answer was not relevant to the post. Except that it was. And if it wasn't, readers could have downvoted it, as you suggest. interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/13043/3641 — davidbak 55 secs ago
#2736 davidbak (231 rep) | A: Why were some comments removed? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by Catija (10985 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Catija (10985 rep)
@Daniel - I agree, and this happens on several SE sites I'm aware of because users - including me - frequently have a different idea of what comments are useful and valuable for than the site itself does. But the site's idea of what makes a valid comment is controlling, not your idea or my idea. So we just have to suck it up. — davidbak 45 secs ago
#2736 davidbak (231 rep) | A: Why were some comments removed? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by Catija (10985 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Catija (10985 rep)
1:59 AM
@WeAreAllInThisTogether The purpose of an exchange isn't to help people. That is a side effect of the explicit purpose of an exchange, which is to create a repository of quality questions and excellent answers. What else do you suggest that we do with users who after being taught the rules refuse to follow them? — sphennings 1 min ago
#2767 sphennings (5107 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 2) | posted 10 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep)
@davidbak That comment was stating that the answer didn't answer the question. That's not an objection to the opinion/suggestion expressed in the post itself, but a note by a community member suggesting that the post be edited to better address the comment. — HDE 226868 ♦ 50 secs ago
#2736 HDE 226868 (6461 rep) | A: Why were some comments removed? (score: 6) | posted 3 days ago by Catija (11015 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Catija (11015 rep)
2:15 AM
3:01 AM
#2767 WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 2) | posted 11 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep)
@WeAreAllInThisTogether I suggest you take the tour then it's in the third sentence. — sphennings 6 secs ago
#2767 sphennings (5107 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 2) | posted 11 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Beofett (4271 rep)
@Jesse - Actually saying have you considered is highly preferrable to people like myself with autism who have a problem with this type of language. Unless you are in the crowd that believes that people with autism should not be allowed to interact here. — WeAreAllInThisTogether 30 secs ago
#2762 WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 2) | posted 13 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
My comments on the first question were deleted too and I don't believe I broke any rule, nor was I notified my comment was deleted. I was putting forward an opinion on the second example given in the question (I actually warned that it was offensive) and my comment was deleted, but what I was commenting on wasn't. — trr 58 secs ago
#2707 trr (677 rep) | Q: How to talk about "who is responsible, who is to blame"? (score: 22) | posted 6 days ago by Edgar (2997 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Jesse (3744 rep)
#12760 trr (677 rep) | Q: How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt? (score: 81) | posted 6 days ago by erbert (425 rep) | edited 6 days ago by BlackThorn (1767 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because this is a stupid idea that seems people hate the idea — WeAreAllInThisTogether 42 secs ago
#2761 WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | Q: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 1) | posted 14 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
@trr Comments are supposed to be transitory. If the information in your comment was important it should have been included in an answer. — sphennings 59 secs ago
#2707 sphennings (5107 rep) | Q: How to talk about "who is responsible, who is to blame"? (score: 22) | posted 6 days ago by Edgar (2997 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Jesse (3744 rep)
@WeAreAllInThisTogether It's not off topic. Just because people are responding poorly to your idea doesn't mean that there isn't merit in discussing it. — sphennings 1 min ago
#2761 sphennings (5107 rep) | Q: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 1) | posted 14 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
3:28 AM
@WeAreAllInThisTogether That's a bit of a strawman - that wasn't even remotely implied in anything Jesse said. (also, keep in mind - just because you have a particular trait/disorder and prefer things a certain way, doesn't automatically mean it is necessarily a preference of everyone with that trait/disorder) — Ash 1 min ago
#2762 Ash (467 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 3) | posted 14 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
#2762 Catija (11025 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 3) | posted 14 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
In the past month or two I've been admonished by mods for writing answers that should have been comments, and comments that should have been answers. I'm a top 0.19% user on stackoverflow and I've written meta answers about when to comment vs answer - I know how this system works. Consistency is moderation leaves a lot to be desired. My comment would not have sufficiently answered the question; making it an answer would have been bad for the site. Justifying deleting comments without explanation as "comments are transitory" is out of left field. — trr 5 secs ago
#2707 trr (677 rep) | Q: How to talk about "who is responsible, who is to blame"? (score: 22) | posted 6 days ago by Edgar (2997 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Jesse (3744 rep)
#2707 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: How to talk about "who is responsible, who is to blame"? (score: 22) | posted 6 days ago by Edgar (2997 rep) | edited 5 days ago by Jesse (3744 rep)
3:45 AM
4:10 AM
Can you rephrase as: "What are likely reactions to expect if I do X in relation to person Y in situation Z?" That is how I read your question, and for me that is a sort of theory-of-mind, learning to empathize with someone who has anxiety situation. (Not 100% sure if that kind of question is acceptable here, but it seems it should be.) For the record, that sounds like a sweet gift, especially if she has a corny sense of humor. :) — cactus_pardner 1 min ago
#13053 cactus_pardner (338 rep) | Q: Appropriate gift for someone with anxiety (score: 0) | posted 4 hours ago by TMP4 (6 rep)
4:47 AM
I received a suggested edit which I believe makes my question a bit clearer in terms of what I'm hoping to find out. Is such a gift a possible trigger for someone with anxiety or possibly completely inappropriate? I was thinking because it was something she confided in me, and she loves her dog very much (he sometimes cheers her up), that this would be a sweet and personalised gift. However, I don't suffer from anxiety and thus was wanting some idea on the appropriateness in case I've missed something. — TMP4 1 min ago
#13053 TMP4 (6 rep) | Q: Appropriate gift for someone with anxiety (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by TMP4 (6 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by cactus_pardner (341 rep)
4:50 AM
I received a suggested edit which I believe makes my question a bit clearer in terms of what I'm hoping to find out. Is such a gift a possible trigger for someone with anxiety or possibly completely inappropriate? I was thinking because it was something she confided in me, and she loves her dog very much (he sometimes cheers her up), that this would be a sweet and personalised gift. However, I don't suffer from anxiety and thus was wanting some idea on the appropriateness in case I've missed something. — TMP4 3 mins ago
#13053 TMP4 (6 rep) | Q: Appropriate gift for someone with anxiety (score: 0) | posted 5 hours ago by TMP4 (6 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by cactus_pardner (341 rep)
5:05 AM
@cactus_pardner Yes, I take it too and on top of that I also sing in a choir which helps a lot with range. The latter is a transgender choir, inclusive, and the conductor is very aware of our desires and the changes our voices are going through (well, the transmales mostly). Voice therapy also addresses diction, articulation and other aspects of the human voice that have implications for (self)perceived gender. But do take one that specializes in gender dysphonia (with an 'n', not an 'r') — GretchenV 27 secs ago
#13051 GretchenV (262 rep) | A: Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria (score: 4) | posted 9 hours ago by GretchenV (262 rep)
aye man I can tell you as a severe PTSD patient that disphoria, as youve realized, is just part of the deal in this situation. Kudos on that heads up bc its important. — Preston Bennett 50 secs ago
#12025 Preston Bennett (101 rep) | Q: Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria (score: 11) | posted 23 days ago by apaul (32707 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by apaul (32707 rep)
1 hour later…
aye man I can tell you as a severe PTSD patient that disphoria, as youve realized, is just part of the deal in this situation. Kudos on that heads up bc its important. All you can do is provide a healthy amount of support and encouragement. This of course is not specific to gender identities outside a "norm" bc its universal. — Preston Bennett 1 hour ago
#12025 Preston Bennett (101 rep) | Q: Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria (score: 11) | posted 23 days ago by apaul (32707 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by apaul (32707 rep)
@cactus_pardner Yes, I take it too and on top of that I also sing in a choir which helps a lot with range. The latter is a transgender choir, inclusive, and the conductor is very aware of our desires and the changes our voices are going through (well, the transmales mostly). Voice therapy also addresses diction, articulation and other aspects of the human voice that have implications for (self)perceived gender. But do take one that specializes in gender dysphonia (with an 'n', not an 'r') — GretchenV 1 hour ago
#13051 GretchenV (262 rep) | A: Comforting a gender-fluid partner experiencing dysphoria (score: 4) | posted 11 hours ago by GretchenV (262 rep)
6:42 AM
Unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — Arwen Undómiel 16 secs ago
#1193 Arwen Undómiel (1932 rep) | Q: Invited to a wedding, but didn't get an invitation, what should I do? (score: 6) | posted 252 days ago by Vylix (6023 rep) | edited 226 days ago by Vylix (6023 rep)
6:55 AM
#6594 Cashbee (2619 rep) | A: What to do if you are accidentally following someone? (score: 65) | posted 151 days ago by Cashbee (2619 rep) | edited 151 days ago by Community (1 rep)
7:13 AM
@Beofett: If you could expand a little bit on that, I think it would make a good answer. As I said in my question, one goal is to help us understand the current moderation better. So far most I have got is the rules are the rules and you got to follow the rules which is not a very convincing argument. — Daniel 1 min ago
#2760 Daniel (2475 rep) | A: Some thoughts on the moderation of comments on this stack (score: -2) | posted 18 hours ago by Daniel (2475 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by Daniel (2475 rep)
#6594 LocustHorde (101 rep) | A: What to do if you are accidentally following someone? (score: 65) | posted 151 days ago by Cashbee (2619 rep) | edited 151 days ago by Community (1 rep)
@CGCampbell I haven't had any incidents that I would classify as 'emergency,' but I've had several incidents over the last 30 years where a neighbor needed to call me for help with something or vice versa. Things ranging from coordinating cleaning up storm damage to alarms going off while out-of-town to even helping bury my (significantly older) neighbor's dog that died while we had over a foot of snow on the ground. — reirab 1 min ago
#13041 reirab (716 rep) | Q: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 41) | posted 16 hours ago by IceC (308 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by gparyani (204 rep)
7:36 AM
#2743 Daniel (2475 rep) | Q: How to give advice to OP when comments are deleted and not moved to chat? (score: 1) | posted 36 hours ago by Mykazuki (1033 rep) | edited 32 hours ago by Mykazuki (1033 rep)
I like this answer. @IceC for the "first neighbor you are contacting" scenario, you might want to wait for when two of your neighbors are together, or at least in plain view of each other, so you can talk to both of them at the same time thus making it all less "personal". — walen 26 secs ago
#13045 walen (641 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 13) | posted 15 hours ago by Link0352 (1656 rep)
Added regex just\W?(a|this)\W?(comment|thought) for post_type q with reason 'just\W?(a|this)\W?(comment|thought)'
Hey, thanks for the answer! Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer. We require that answers provide some sort of explanation for why they are suggesting this solution, and unfortunately, at the moment this answer doesn't appear to do that. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#11838 Arwen Undómiel (1931 rep) | A: Complimenting as opposed to thanking (score: -2) | posted 26 days ago by Tom Au (5077 rep)
I'm sorry, but good subjective answers back up their opinions with facts and experience. Right now, this sounds like you're trying to argue who's right, and who's to blame, without answering the question... — Tinkeringbell 40 secs ago
#12015 Tinkeringbell (17293 rep) | A: Dealing with colleagues who think bachelor women as being available always (score: -2) | posted 23 days ago by harshvchawla (97 rep)
Hey, thanks for the answer! Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer. We require that answers provide some sort of explanation for why they are suggesting this solution, and unfortunately, at the moment this answer doesn't appear to do that. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#4474 Arwen Undómiel (1929 rep) | A: How can I politely tell my fellow tenants that I am not the caretaker? (score: -2) | posted 200 days ago by Mr. Bean (25 rep)
Welcome to Interpersonal.SE! I'm afraid questions that just ask "What should I do?" are considered off-topic here. It's up to you how you want to react. If you're offended at being called that, you could instead rephrase your question to something like "How to ask my school friends to stop calling me an offensive nickname?", which I think would be more on-topic. — F1Krazy just now
#13059 F1Krazy (103 rep) | Q: How to react to being labeled the "duff" (score: 0) | posted 3 minutes ago by James Young (1 rep)
#13042 hlovdal (235 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 22) | posted 16 hours ago by Bilkokuya (1565 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because questions that just ask "What should I do?" are considered off-topic here. It's up to you how you want to react. If you're offended at being called that, you could instead rephrase your question to something like "How to ask my school friends to stop calling me an offensive nickname?", which I think would be more on-topic. — Tinkeringbell 33 secs ago
#13059 Tinkeringbell (17293 rep) | Q: How to react to being labeled the "duff" (score: -1) | posted 6 minutes ago by James Young (1 rep)
#13059 Cashbee (2619 rep) | Q: How to react to being labeled the "duff" (score: -3) | posted 7 minutes ago by James Young (1 rep)
Also, you might want to include some information on what you are prepared to do, do you want to keep the friendship at all costs, or are you willing to cut ties if the behavior doesn't stop? How long have you know these people? Have they called you names before, or was this a one-time occurence? Was there any situation going on when this happened, or did it come out of the blue? — Tinkeringbell 5 secs ago
#13059 Tinkeringbell (17293 rep) | Q: How to react to being labeled the "duff" (score: -3) | posted 8 minutes ago by James Young (1 rep)
8:13 AM
Hey, thanks for the answer! Can you please explain exactly why you think that this is a good idea? Why do you say to take this course of action? What’s the thought process behind this answer? As this currently stands, this is essentially a “Try this!” answer. We require that answers provide some sort of explanation for why they are suggesting this solution, and unfortunately, at the moment this answer doesn't appear to do that. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago
#4130 Arwen Undómiel (1929 rep) | A: How can I politely ask my audience to not use their cellphones when I am giving a talk? (score: -2) | posted 205 days ago by Nathaniel (1 rep)
1st paragraph of details is, IMO, terrible advice. Why on Earth would you let anyone, any stranger passing by know your private phone number?! — OldPadawan 47 secs ago
#13060 OldPadawan (8932 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
@Mykazuki I agree, rephrasing the question probably would help to avoid some ambiguity and make it more suitable for IPS format. I think he understands the joy we do while playing since he experiences himself when he does so. But I just feel like he feels then guilty for "wasting his time" and therefore tries to apply the same for us. — Alexander Aeons Torn 45 secs ago
#12999 Alexander Aeons Torn (1234 rep) | Q: How can I help my flatmate empathize better with my competitive aspirations on games as I feel it doesn't impact me negatively? (score: 7) | posted 43 hours ago by Alexander Aeons Torn (1234 rep) | edited 9 hours ago by Catija (11175 rep)
@OldPadawan – is your number "on Earth" really private? If your really need your very private number, you create another one. — miroxlav 30 secs ago
#13060 miroxlav (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 14 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
#13060 OldPadawan (8932 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 17 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
@OldPadawan – I did not mean the number you mark as private in phone company so they won't list it in the phone book etc. I mean standard cases. — miroxlav 48 secs ago
#13060 miroxlav (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
Even that kind of phone number. I don't throw away any personal information, and I guess I'm not the only one in that case. What about some kids getting the number on the mailbox, then calling at 2 AM? What about people using your number to scam others? and so on... is your number really private? Did I already said YES? ^^ — OldPadawan 55 secs ago
#13060 OldPadawan (8932 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
@OldPadawan – but you are only repeating the same, ignoring argument that the number is already public, available using quick search. That way, people can always use your number or kids can call you. Btw you can call them back and push back with their parents. As I told, this is not for people having fears, paranoias or similar problems. — miroxlav 45 secs ago
#13060 miroxlav (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 24 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
#13060 miroxlav (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep) | edited 20 minutes ago by miroxlav (101 rep)
8:41 AM
To make any PC-Question answerable it absolutely needs to provide cultural background . I think that´s maybe missing from your example to make it into something that would not be closed? — Daniel 53 secs ago
#132 Daniel (2475 rep) | Q: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: 0) | posted 283 days ago by r m (2434 rep) | edited 282 days ago by Crafter0800 (5163 rep)
I don't think there are any strict rules on voting on meta. I think on feature-request posts downvotes and upvotes indicate disagreement/agreement and on other meta questions more along the lines of quality and agreement. It's weird and mixed like that. — Magisch 19 secs ago
#2770 Magisch (7425 rep) | Q: Voting on meta-questions (score: 0) | posted 12 minutes ago by Daniel (2485 rep)
possible-aic:
- q: respond
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
- a: dick
- q: dick
chatty:
- a: (up|down)vote
- a: agreed?
abusive:
- q: \barse(hole)?\b
- a: \barse(hole)?\b
experimental(@mith):
- q: i\Wwould\Wbe
obsolete:
- a: (edited|fixed)
- q: (edited|fixed)
:
just\W?(a|this)\W?(comment|thought):
- q: respond
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)
- a: dick
- q: dick
chatty:
- a: (up|down)vote
- a: agreed?
abusive:
- q: \barse(hole)?\b
- a: \barse(hole)?\b
experimental(@mith):
- q: i\Wwould\Wbe
obsolete:
- a: (edited|fixed)
- q: (edited|fixed)
:
just\W?(a|this)\W?(comment|thought):
This is a testing reason:
Other Regexes:
- q: you\W(really)?(need\Wto|should)
- a: joined\Wjust\Wtoo?\W(up)?vote
- q: if\Wi\Wwh?ere\W(in\Wyou('re|r)|you|u)
Other Regexes:
- q: you\W(really)?(need\Wto|should)
- a: joined\Wjust\Wtoo?\W(up)?vote
- q: if\Wi\Wwh?ere\W(in\Wyou('re|r)|you|u)
#2762 WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep) | A: Can we improve upon the Be Nice policy here as a model for the rest of SE? (score: 1) | posted 19 hours ago by WeAreAllInThisTogether (1961 rep)
Thanks for updating. Two things from that: 1 - I didn't realise he was commenting on your friends attractiveness. I thought he was commenting on random women, I think that info might have been helpful. 2 - Considering you've turned round and told him you're not at ease with him telling you about your friends attractiveness, does that take it to mean he was also not that appreciative of knowing? If nothing else, I think it's great that you've managed to come to a more equal position in the relationship in that regard. — Philbo 13 secs ago
#12827 Philbo (131 rep) | Q: I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful? (score: 52) | posted 5 days ago by avazula (3841 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by avazula (3841 rep)
9:29 AM
#13041 PlasmaHH (101 rep) | Q: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 43) | posted 18 hours ago by IceC (318 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by gparyani (204 rep)
9:46 AM
#12760 Evargalo (103 rep) | Q: How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt? (score: 82) | posted 7 days ago by erbert (430 rep) | edited 6 days ago by BlackThorn (1767 rep)
10:27 AM
Depending what age range you imply by a "nice old lady" (and which country you are in), she may not have a device capable of receiving a text message. My 87 y.o. mother in UK would give you her landline number which has no facilities to receive texts (and she would have gone to bed early). — Martin Bonner 36 secs ago
#13057 Martin Bonner (101 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 3) | posted 6 hours ago by Amy Dee Dempster (31 rep)
#12691 Don Hatch (101 rep) | A: How do I deal with people trying to convince me to wear makeup? (score: 66) | posted 8 days ago by Arcanist Lupus (1672 rep) | edited 30 hours ago by Arcanist Lupus (1672 rep)
11:30 AM
@Philbo 1- I didn't mention it because it was not about my friends that often (I think it's been maybe once or 2ce, but these are the times when it bothered me). But you're right, I should've done that. 2 - Actually he told me he didn't mind whether I tell him or not, because "I can understand why you wouldn't want to talk about, and vice versa". It puzzled me a bit but knowing him, it's not that surprising for an answer. — avazula 1 min ago
#12827 avazula (3841 rep) | Q: I have a crush on a coworker but won't act on it, how can I tell my boyfriend about it and that I'll remain faithful? (score: 52) | posted 5 days ago by avazula (3841 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by avazula (3841 rep)
11:45 AM
Eating enough isn't some magical concept, you can back it up with numbers. You either eat the right amount or you don't. If you need to convince people, it's often best to show that you know what you are talking about and they don't, at least in such cases. Have you ever done a dietary anamnesis? Do you have anything to back up your claim that you are eating sufficient amounts and that what you are doing is in fact perfectly fine and healthy as you say? I'm not trying to give you medical advice, I'm just asking if you can back up your argument or if this needs to be done with softer approaches — Raditz_35 1 min ago
#13064 Raditz_35 (190 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 16 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep)
My next door neighbour is someone my wife actually works with. We didn't get their phone numbers until we'd been moved in for around 6 months, when they'd gone away and asked us to call if anything happened that needed their attention. — djsmiley2k 50 secs ago
#13043 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 10) | posted 20 hours ago by baldPrussian (11125 rep)
@MartinBonner I believe all (BT and Virgin at least) UK Landlines automatically do text to speech when a text is received on a landline number :) — djsmiley2k 39 secs ago
#13057 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 3) | posted 7 hours ago by Amy Dee Dempster (31 rep)
So I'm a criminal. I walk up, ring the number on the bell and ask if you can come to the door right now because we need to deliver something. You reply 'sorry I'm not in'. Now I break in... :D — djsmiley2k 18 secs ago
#13060 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
#13064 Kozaky (2029 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 26 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep)
@Raditz_35 no you can't back it up with numbers. counting calories i.e. is absolutely nonsense. The only proof I have is that I am not underweight, and I feel healthy. I have tested for several food intolerances, none was positive. So no, I do not know exactly why I can't eat normal rations. — Cashbee 1 min ago
#13064 Cashbee (2629 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 27 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep) | edited 21 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep)
#13064 Cashbee (2629 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 34 minutes ago by Cashbee (2629 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by A J (5562 rep)
#13065 Cashbee (2639 rep) | A: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 1) | posted 6 minutes ago by A J (5572 rep) | edited 16 seconds ago by A J (5572 rep)
I imagine that pointing to his (presumably flexed) arm is a way of implying that he is healthy and strong — Link0352 22 secs ago
#13065 Link0352 (1706 rep) | A: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 1) | posted 7 minutes ago by A J (5572 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by A J (5572 rep)
@Cashbee I can confirm it's something rather swiss, people want to make sure that you eat enough. — Mafii 51 secs ago
#13064 Mafii (691 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 4) | posted 38 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by A J (5572 rep)
#13065 A J (5582 rep) | A: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 10 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep)
@Cashbee I don't see me mentioning counting calories, even though it would be interesting to know why you don't believe in basic physics. I was asking if you have anything to back it up. Your weight is fine I guess, but what is enough is something that is subjective. Don't worry too much about international standards, that's a weak argument "I'm technically not underweight", even though that might work even in some cases. — Raditz_35 10 secs ago
#13064 Raditz_35 (190 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 4) | posted 42 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep)
Aha :) i thought your arm was thick as a log or something. But when you flex your arm yes that is a thing i guess. not very funny though xD this comment will self destruct in 3, 2, 1, .. — Cashbee 32 secs ago
#13065 Cashbee (2639 rep) | A: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 11 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep)
@Cashbee Well, you can do something (as a joke; you wouldn't wanna start push-ups) to show you're healthy. — A J 55 secs ago
#13065 A J (5582 rep) | A: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 2) | posted 14 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by A J (5582 rep)
#13064 Cashbee (2639 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 4) | posted 46 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep)
Anything you have to offer. And it's not just numbers, e.g. "dietary anamnesis". If you just have your weight, that's ok. If you say you base this completely on subjective feeling, fine. Again, not here to give you medical advice. To me your question sounded as if you might have a good reason to believe that your nutrition is in fact great. This comment section is only about clarification of the question — Raditz_35 1 min ago
#13064 Raditz_35 (190 rep) | Q: How can I better convince my friends that I am perfectly fine and healthy, and that they do not need to worry? (score: 4) | posted 49 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep) | edited 10 minutes ago by Cashbee (2639 rep)
#13066 A J (5582 rep) | Q: Writing email greetings with an exclamation point (score: 1) | posted 4 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3786 rep)
This seems like less of an interpersonal skills question and more of a question about how to format an email. — sphennings 1 min ago
#13066 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: Writing email greetings with an exclamation point (score: 1) | posted 4 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3786 rep)
@sphennings the goal is to sound more outgoing and pleasant in my professional email interactions ... — D.Hutchinson 56 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3786 rep) | Q: Writing email greetings with an exclamation point (score: 1) | posted 5 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3786 rep)
12:36 PM
@AJ email formatting isn't etiquette. Etiquette has to do with unwritten rules for behavior in specific social and cultural settings. Voting to close this as primarily opinion based, because it's basically asking us to decide what is right or wrong. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago
#13066 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 1) | posted 18 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3786 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3786 rep)
@Tinkeringbell from LinkedIn: "A company needs to implement etiquette rules for the following three reasons: Professionalism: by using proper email language your company will convey a professional image." This is clearly an etiquette question - I'm not sure why you are so adamant, along with Sphennings to do deny that this is the case. Why are you two so Ant-Questions on here? — D.Hutchinson 9 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 14 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
It's also offtopic as per the help center: we're not here to tell you what to write. So, hiding it behind what would be right or wrong isn't really useful. — Tinkeringbell 39 secs ago
#13066 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 22 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 15 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
We've had plenty of meta discussion already about this stuff. I'm not anti question, I'm anti out of scope questions. Wrote a good one and we can talk again. I'm done putting effort into trying to educate you. — Tinkeringbell just now
#13066 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 23 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
Etiquette is exactly about doing what is considered customary -- or as you put it, "right or wrong". @Tinkeringbell again, what are you do Anti-Questions on here? This is an interpersonal skills Q&A site, the last time I checked. — D.Hutchinson 9 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 23 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
Asking whether I would risk not conveying professionalism in an email is certainly an etiquette question @Tinkeringbell - why so Anti-Questions, for questions that are on-topic, too? I'm done educating you, seriously. — D.Hutchinson 41 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
Except that my question is on-topic -- I'm done trying to educate you, when you won't learn to not be so Anti-Questions. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
#13066 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 27 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
ding-a-ling... End of round #1... @ D.Hutchinson & @Tinkeringbell : please, could you folks stop fighting here, and start round #2 in chat? ;) or take this to meta? thanks — OldPadawan 1 min ago
#13066 OldPadawan (8932 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 32 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 24 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
1:04 PM
@RichardU I do aggree about closing this question but I dont like "I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because we cannot advise anyone on how to get someone to do something." because part of interpersonal skills is to get to people to do something you want them to do. If its morally oke or not is another question but there are interpersonal techinques that just focus on "getting someone to do something" — MansNotHot 48 secs ago
#13019 MansNotHot (1443 rep) | Q: What can I do if university staff work too slowly? (score: -3) | posted 41 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (999 rep) | edited 34 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (999 rep)
#13066 LinuxBlanket (7552 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 54 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
@LinuxBlanket it might, sure - and also at TWP, too; but it is certainly on-topic here. Again, from LinkedIn: "A company needs to implement etiquette rules for the following three reasons: Professionalism: by using proper email language your company will convey a professional image." — D.Hutchinson 25 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 57 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
This whole discussion should be moved to meta. There's a larger question about what's appropriate for interpersonal skills SE that should be debated and resolved. And (I'm putting on my parent hat here): don't make me come over there between you two. — baldPrussian 56 secs ago
#13066 baldPrussian (11125 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 57 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
Alex yes a lot of people considering gaming a waste of time, but leisure activities are actually good for the brain. Also what does a waste of time really is? If you are productive, have your house, and otherwise function as a human being without your gaming interfering, what does he want you to do that considers playing a waste of time? Would be reading novels also a waste for him? Maybe it bothers him that you use the common space so much? — Mykazuki 22 secs ago
#12999 Mykazuki (1033 rep) | Q: How can I help my flatmate empathize better with my competitive aspirations on games as I feel it doesn't impact me negatively? (score: 7) | posted 48 hours ago by Alexander Aeons Torn (1234 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by Catija (11175 rep)
The discussion already is on meta, from the early days of this site : interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2207/1599. There's no one arguing it should be on topic, so for me, it's off topic — Tinkeringbell 59 secs ago
#13066 Tinkeringbell (17295 rep) | Q: Is writing an email greeting with an exclamation point considered appropriate to do in a professional setting? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
#13019 Richard U (7033 rep) | Q: What can I do if university staff work too slowly? (score: -3) | posted 41 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (999 rep) | edited 34 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (999 rep)
1:36 PM
@Mykazuki I play on my room so I don't bother anyone else, his room is not even close to mine. I think It might be as said on another comment due to jelousy: he works tons of hours more, earns less and in something that doesn't fullfill him at all, so if he sees that I work less, earn more, waste more money and spend a lot of time playing videogames that bothers him, but that's not actually my fault, and usually telling people they are jelous ain't the best way to end a conversation in a friendly way :P — Alexander Aeons Torn 1 min ago
#12999 Alexander Aeons Torn (1234 rep) | Q: How can I help my flatmate empathize better with my competitive aspirations on games as I feel it doesn't impact me negatively? (score: 7) | posted 48 hours ago by Alexander Aeons Torn (1234 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Catija (11175 rep)
I don't get how "hiring managers" are basically the same as "professors" in this question. I also don't get how a university is exactly the same as a company. Maybe that's a USA thing, but where I come from, communicating with either one can be a completely different beast depending on the context. — Raditz_35 31 secs ago
#13066 Raditz_35 (190 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic and other professional settings (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3784 rep)
Unfortunately, this question appears to be asking “What should I do?”, which the community has determined to not be a good fit for Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange. We can’t decide for you what to do; after you determine what you want to do, we can help you with your goal, but we can’t make these decisions for you. Sorry. — Arwen Undómiel 29 secs ago
#13070 Arwen Undómiel (1932 rep) | Q: How to react to stranger taking long to answer my mail (score: -1) | posted 4 minutes ago by Pharguin (1 rep)
I'm voting to close this question as off-topic because questions asking what to do are off topic on this site. Once you have decided on a course of action we can answer questions about how to effectively act on your plan. — sphennings 47 secs ago
#13070 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: How to react to stranger taking long to answer my mail (score: -1) | posted 4 minutes ago by Pharguin (1 rep)
@Raditz_35 thanks - at least somebody make a constructive comment, finally. I have reduced my question for the academic setting. Thanks, — D.Hutchinson 17 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3785 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3785 rep) | edited 4 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3785 rep)
@D.Hutchinson Glad I made you happy ;). Since you chose the academic option, maybe this is just me not understanding the US system, but could you perhaps include what subject the professor teaches? In my experience, there is a gigantic difference between e.g. Geology, a Christian college or e.g. something very pompous, say medicine. — Raditz_35 36 secs ago
#13066 Raditz_35 (190 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep)
@Raditz_35 yet another, constructive comment from you -- you're pretty awesome. I have specified math and physics professors - thanks, — D.Hutchinson 37 secs ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep)
@RichardU This is a childish comment. Being aware that such practices exist does not automatically make me expert in them. And being able to do so or not to neither validates nor invalidates my statement — MansNotHot 1 min ago
#13019 MansNotHot (1443 rep) | Q: What can I do if university staff work too slowly? (score: -4) | posted 42 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (997 rep) | edited 35 hours ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (997 rep)
2:18 PM
The problem with the question isn't that it's off topic. It's that it's lacking in specificity. The "correct" answer to this question will vary depending on your connection with this professor. "Etiquette" is one thing but if you see this person daily and have a friendly relationship with them, the answer is different than if you have never interacted with them before. Without any sense of scope here, the answers can't really help your specific situation. Similarly, what your email is about - if it's a formal note or a simple query - will affect your usage. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#13066 Catija (11175 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3781 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3781 rep)
Metabolisms vary greatly but, despite you not inviting it :-):-( - I'd suggest that " I am not even considered underweight by official definition (it's close, though)" indicates a BMI (a crude metric, as you know) of about 15. Most people including doctors and health scientists rate 15-25 as "normal", 25-30 as overweight and 30+ as obese. High quality longitudinal studies have shown that all cause mortality is LOWEST for BMI 25-30, slightly worse for BMI 15-25 and 30-35 - both being about the same as each others (ie moderately obeseand normal have about the same mortality rates) and ... — Russell McMahon 1 min ago
#13064 Russell McMahon (101 rep) | Q: How can I be more persuasive when ensuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 8) | posted 2 hours ago by Cashbee (2659 rep) | edited 17 minutes ago by Cashbee (2659 rep)
@Catija because the answer is essentially one of two general answers based entirely on your political opinion. 1) Refer to them as their biological sex to not encourage a mental disorder, or 2) Refer to them as what they wish because they define their own reality and it's respective of their wishes. Whether each answer is helpful or not depends on your political opinion, which is already defined as close-worthy "primarily opinion-based." — Physics-Compute 55 secs ago
#2769 Physics-Compute (214 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
... far worse for grossly obeses , BMI = 35+.. | SO if you are borderline low BMI wise you are probably in fact in the area where Science, rather than usual beliefs, put you in a more dangerous / less healthy situation than most appreciate. ||SO - tell people you secretly snack at home AND learn to like eating something that adds some body mass of a type that suits. Steak is a common "food medicine" in such cases but may not suit you. FWIW I have BMI = 27 which is optimal for low all causes mortality but slightly chubby by normal standards. — Russell McMahon 24 secs ago
#13064 Russell McMahon (101 rep) | Q: How can I be more persuasive when ensuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 10) | posted 2 hours ago by Cashbee (2669 rep) | edited 20 minutes ago by Cashbee (2669 rep)
Thanks @Catija for the constructive comments - I have edited to include more specifics that you suggested. Please let me know what else I could do to improve my question for reopening. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#13066 D.Hutchinson (3781 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -2) | posted 2 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3781 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3781 rep)
#2769 Catija (11175 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
2:33 PM
@RussellMcMahon I have BMI of 19. under 18.5 is considered underweight. Also your comments are not really asking for information or suggesting improvements, which is why I ask you to remove them. they clog up the comment section. I will add my bmi into the question and remove this comment again. thank you — Cashbee 1 min ago
#13064 Cashbee (2669 rep) | Q: How can I be more persuasive when ensuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 10) | posted 3 hours ago by Cashbee (2669 rep) | edited 29 minutes ago by Cashbee (2669 rep)
We can't provide you with a list of resources - that's outside our scope. We also don't do phrasing requests here. It's a list question, there's no objective way to "judge" them and there's an infinite number of possibilities. We can help you decide for yourself how to introduce these sites to people but we don't put words in your mouth. — Catija ♦ 1 min ago
#13071 Catija (11175 rep) | Q: How to POLITELY deal with WHITE PEOPLE wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (list of online resources sought) (score: -1) | posted 17 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (5 rep) | edited 5 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3781 rep)
Aren't you effectively saying the same thing? That a behavior by many of the members of a group is alienating others, and is generally disappointing. If you feel that statements of this type are inappropriate for this site you shouldn't be making them yourself. — sphennings 1 min ago
#2774 sphennings (5106 rep) | A: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
@Catija deleting comments that answer your comment-questions in an objective manner is a bit of an emotional overstep, no? I'm did not make such a claim, just that there exist opinions on both sides of an issue, which is why prefacing your question with your assumptions is necessary in order to avoid it being primarily opinion-based. — Physics-Compute 1 min ago
#2769 Physics-Compute (214 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
2:54 PM
If you're trying to convince someone of something providing arguments to support your claim goes much further than saying "It's clearly x". Obviously people thought it was off topic, otherwise they wouldn't have voted to close it as off topic. Why do you think that it's on topic? — sphennings 42 secs ago
#2773 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: -1) | posted 39 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | edited 12 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep)
These types of questions are generally off topic here, but I will throw in my two cents because it seems like you could genuinely use some help on this issue. Generally speaking, if someone reads your messages but does not reply they are either busy or uninterested. If you have sent several messages and this is consistent behavior, she is likely no longer interested in talking. If this is a singular occurrence, you could try to send another message to see what happens. I wouldn't push too far past that. Let her respond if she wants, but don't waste your time with people who don't value yours — Link0352 1 min ago
#13070 Link0352 (1796 rep) | Q: How to react to stranger taking long to answer my mail (score: -1) | posted 1 hours ago by Pharguin (6 rep)
@Catija I have modified the heading and text according to your recommendations. The number of downvotes (and favourites) on the question (within an hour of posting) however is informative (and to an extent, quite in line with what I had anticipated. — u_r_grounded 30 secs ago
#13071 u_r_grounded (6 rep) | Q: How to POLITELY deal with WHITE PEOPLE wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 39 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep)
#2773 D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | Q: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: -1) | posted 46 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep)
Well, you did sort of intentionally make it somewhat in-your-face with the "WHITE PEOPLE"... and your second paragraph seems largely unnecessary, if not inflammatory, with all of the hot-button issues. They sort of muddy the issue. That paragraph doesn't even relate to your actual question, as it's about people who behave in the opposite manner than the ones you're talking about. — Catija ♦ 45 secs ago
#13071 Catija (11175 rep) | Q: How to POLITELY deal with WHITE PEOPLE wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 42 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep)
#13072 sgroves (101 rep) | A: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: -1) | posted 30 minutes ago by Russell McMahon (99 rep)
#2773 D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | Q: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: -2) | posted 49 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep)
Can you provide some arguments to support your claim that it was "Contentiously done". I'd suggest removing the bit where you are assuming ill faith of other members of this site. It's not very nice. — sphennings 2 mins ago
#2773 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: -2) | posted 49 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (3779 rep)
I would find it very weird if some neighbor came to my place with his number on a business card. I think I would feel it very awkward and put that directly to the trash... — YCN- 34 secs ago
#13044 YCN- (341 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 93) | posted 23 hours ago by Catija (11175 rep)
Hi u_r_grounded, I just made an edit to remove the caps and focus on the "how to direct" vs. "where to direct" (which is off-topic). I believe it is still accurately reflecting your question but please review. — Em C 15 secs ago
#13071 Em C (6035 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with non-minority people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 46 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Em C (6035 rep)
This site functions differently than other sites. We expect questions to conform to those standards. I think that you have some real concerns but as your question is currently written it is rather unclear and not a good fit for this site. It's probable that most of the downvotes you are garnering are for those reasons rather than the content of your question. — sphennings 22 secs ago
#13071 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with non-minority people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 46 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by Em C (6035 rep)
@djsmiley2k – yes, but as a criminal you can use exactly this strategy based on my number quickly found 1. via online phonebook search 2. via inquiry at public voice assistance service which has searching phone numbers in their standard service offer. All phone numbers are published by default so could you explain what is the point of that suggestion? — miroxlav 22 secs ago
#13060 miroxlav (99 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 6 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
#13044 Catija (11175 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 93) | posted 23 hours ago by Catija (11175 rep)
#13071 Catija (11175 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 51 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep)
#13071 Cashbee (2668 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 51 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep)
@EmC I appreciate you bringing my attention to the fact that the use of caps may come accross as shouting. That was not my intention. I do however take exception of your replacing the word "white" in my heading. This problem specifically is to do with white people. This problem does not exist with any other demographic. It is rather disingenous (and skirting around what I agree is a sensitive subject), to remove the word "white" from the heading. — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#13071 u_r_grounded (9 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 54 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep) | edited 30 seconds ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep)
@Catija Ok, I removed the request for online resources. It is not clear how I can direct someone to "go do their own research instead of asking me banal questions", if I don't have a link to direct them to ... we'll see. — u_r_grounded 5 secs ago
#13071 u_r_grounded (9 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 55 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep)
#13060 miroxlav (99 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 7 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 1 minutes ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
@Catija: "Well, you did sort of intentionally make it somewhat in-your-face with the "WHITE PEOPLE"... and your second paragraph seems largely unnecessary, if not inflammatory" This is the "defensiveness" and "tonal arguments" I was talking about. Perhaps you're not the sought of person who can answer this sort of question? — u_r_grounded 38 secs ago
#13071 u_r_grounded (9 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 57 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep)
#13041 IceC (350 rep) | Q: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: 49) | posted 24 hours ago by IceC (350 rep) | edited 19 hours ago by gparyani (204 rep)
You need to ask yourself why you say "yes" when you know you shouldn't lend to them. Is it because you're frightened they won't talk to you if you don't? You're right that they see you as a milch-kuh. Just say "no" and see what they do. — bigbadmouse 1 min ago
#2699 bigbadmouse (301 rep) | Q: How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family? (score: 157) | posted 226 days ago by The Wavelength (803 rep) | edited 146 days ago by A J (5622 rep)
You are generalizing. You defend it by saying it's mostly true. It's the same defense actual racists use to marginalize non-white people across the world. Provide a source or edit it out. I don't see why anyone would help you in your goal of preventing white people from talking to you. That's just... horrible. I'm voting to close. — Clay07g 1 min ago
#13071 Clay07g (1150 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep)
Just a reminder comments are not for discussion. They are for requesting clarification and suggesting improvements. Don't be surprised if any comments not meeting these criteria are deleted without notice. — sphennings 2 mins ago
#13071 sphennings (5106 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep) | edited 6 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (9 rep)
Thanks for that insight. However, this is just deferring the conversation to another time, and somehow, they are also not getting the message that I "don't want to go there" with them (at least, until they have demonstrated that they are aware of the thorny nature of the subject, and they are prepared to be uncomfortable) - otherwise, they'll persist (I've been there many times). — Homunculus Reticulli 22 secs ago
#13074 Homunculus Reticulli (101 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by sphennings (5114 rep)
@Mafii I was going to say, I'm surprised people are even saying anything and almost wondered if maybe they were worrying because he was preemptively mentioning it, but it being a cultural thing makes a lot of sense. Because in the US generally we see others eating habits as none of our business, outside of family and very extreme situations, of course. — gucciferXCIV 56 secs ago
#13064 gucciferXCIV (101 rep) | Q: How can I be more persuasive when assuring people that I am perfectly fine and healthy? (score: 12) | posted 3 hours ago by Cashbee (2678 rep) | edited 37 minutes ago by Jack Aidley (396 rep)
#13074 Clay07g (1149 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 4 minutes ago by sphennings (5114 rep)
@u_r_grounded " This is the "defensiveness" and "tonal arguments" I was talking about. Perhaps you're not the sought of person who can answer this sort of question?" -- I read "if you do not agree with the generalized assessment i have made of your entire race, you are being defensive and providing tonal arguments." — Link0352 1 min ago
#13071 Link0352 (1796 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -5) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (3 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (3 rep)
Thanks for that insight. However, this is just deferring the conversation to another time, and somehow, they are also not getting the message that "I don't want to go there" with them (at least, until they have demonstrated that they are aware of the thorny nature of the subject, and they are prepared to be uncomfortable) - otherwise, they'll persist (I've been there many times). — u_r_grounded 1 min ago
#13074 u_r_grounded (3 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 7 minutes ago by sphennings (5114 rep)
"talking about racism and race issues with white people can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating" please don't assume all white people are the same. We are not. Just like all black people are not the same. Please stop putting people in boxes. — DavidPostill 5 secs ago
#13071 DavidPostill (186 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -5) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (3 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (3 rep)
3:35 PM
@sphennings pardon my being pedantic, but there is a difference between calling out a behavior and a group. Likewise there is a difference between calling out a group you are a part of (including yourself in that group) and a group you are not a part of nor associate with. E.g. Martians like to smell their own farts vs. Some people in our solar system like to smell their own farts vs. We have a problem in our solar system with the tendency to smell our own farts. — BlackThorn 35 secs ago
#2774 BlackThorn (1767 rep) | A: Why is the following statement about men not rude? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 54 minutes ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
As a white person (who is not racist) I could reverse your question and ask "As most non-black people are aware, talking about racism and race issues with black people can be particularly emotionally draining and frustrating, because of the constant defensiveness, deflections, (perhaps wilfull?) ignorance and "tonal" arguments. ". That would be putting you guys in boxes as you are trying to do to us. Would that reversal upset you? If so think about for a minute. — DavidPostill 1 min ago
#13071 DavidPostill (186 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -6) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (1 rep) | edited 26 minutes ago by u_r_grounded (1 rep)
Don't compare life with movies. Movies are idealizations that have nothing to do with real life, they have been created by other people the way they wanted it to be depicted. Most of your advice (e.g. hug him tightly etc.) isn't exactly realistic. But on the whole, a good answer. — AbhigyanC 14 secs ago
#12968 AbhigyanC (1704 rep) | A: How do I become closer with my brother? He feels like a complete stranger (score: 2) | posted 3 days ago by Sandy C (452 rep)
@u_r_grounded Why do you make them uncomfortable? Have you considered it might be your conversational style that makes them uncomfortable rather than the subject matter? Are you able to have a civilised debate with someone? Have you thought about why they get defensive? — DavidPostill 1 min ago
#13074 DavidPostill (186 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 20 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep) | edited 13 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
I am not asking for what to write, I am asking whether my attempt at sounding more upbeat and conveying enthusiasm could be considered unprofessional - and that's an interpersonal skill. Also, even Catija has agreed that it's not off-topic. What more proof do you want? Why do you do this to the community? Why do you constantly look for things and deliberately misinterpret them and throw it at people's faces, just to tell them that they're wrong? Why are you SO Anti-Questions, while you are spending time on a Q&A site? Seriously, I don't get you. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago
#2775 D.Hutchinson (3779 rep) | A: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: 2) | posted 20 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
Having issues with the question's presentation and wording interpreted as "defensiveness" and "tonal arguments" makes it a little difficult to utter constructive criticism of the post in order to help improve it. I see that allegedly marginal discussions like those are what frustrates you when trying to engage this issue, but toning down inflammatory phrasing, while maybe seeming irrelevant, can go a big way towards a fruitful discussion and helpful input for all people involved. — Christian Rau 9 secs ago
#13071 Christian Rau (101 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -5) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (6 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
#2775 Ash (467 rep) | A: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: 2) | posted 24 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
Comments aren't for discussion Don't be surprised if any comments that aren't suggesting improvements to the question or requesting clarification are deleted. — sphennings 1 min ago
#13074 sphennings (5122 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 26 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep) | edited 19 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
3:48 PM
#2775 D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | A: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: 2) | posted 25 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
Tone is important on this stack, so tonal arguments will be made. we have a pretty strict "be nice" policy, meaning, you'll have to field arguments and requests to improve the tone of your question and edits to that effect might happen (and already have) thats the nature of the beast here on stackexchange. — Magisch 52 secs ago
#13071 Magisch (7466 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (11 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
I meant it's harder. Knocking a door and not getting an answer means you need to break in 'carefully' as there maybe someone in still, knowing someone has left the house (or you get the number and use it to track them in a number of other ways) means you know it's empty. — djsmiley2k 1 min ago
#13060 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 7 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
@D.Hutchinson You've been on this site long enough that you shouldn't need to be reminded of the Be Nice policy. The constant cries of persecution are getting old. — sphennings 1 min ago
#2775 sphennings (5122 rep) | A: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: 2) | posted 34 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
@sphennings and you've been on the site long enough to know that your comments add fuel to the fire, and you just simply show up to stir the pot. Seriously, I already edited my comment -- why did you feel a need to add your comment? How was that useful at all? — D.Hutchinson 25 secs ago
#2775 D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | A: Why was my etiquette question closed? (score: 2) | posted 39 minutes ago by Tinkeringbell (17295 rep)
4:09 PM
#13074 DavidPostill (186 rep) | A: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: 0) | posted 47 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
#13071 DavidPostill (186 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -4) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (11 rep) | edited 8 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
#13071 sphennings (5122 rep) | Q: How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by u_r_grounded (16 rep) | edited 11 minutes ago by sphennings (5122 rep)
@djsmiley2k – but what you write has flaws. Any investigation of a call (from phone to number read at gate or searched online) will reveal the identity of the criminal (think about previous calls made from their number, which are logged at the operator which disclosess criminal's contacts) so actually a detection call creates a way to apprehend the trespasser more quickly. Maybe you mean something else. Also I am not sure what did you mean by "get the number and use it to track them in a number of other ways". Without preparation, they are impossible – with preparation, you are busted anyway:) — miroxlav 30 secs ago
#13060 miroxlav (99 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
4:40 PM
Did not know that, sorry. If I decided on an action and edited my question accordingly, would it get out of the hold status and be fine, or should I open a new question then? — Pharguin 14 secs ago
#13070 Pharguin (11 rep) | Q: How to react to stranger taking long to answer my mail (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Pharguin (11 rep)
Related: academia.stackexchange.com/questions/94033/… ... not about your precise issue but the answers address the underlying concerns about determining the appropriate way to address a professor via email. — Em C 40 secs ago
#13066 Em C (6035 rep) | Q: Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings (score: -2) | posted 4 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (3783 rep)
#12968 Sandy C (452 rep) | A: How do I become closer with my brother? He feels like a complete stranger (score: 2) | posted 3 days ago by Sandy C (452 rep)
#13060 djsmiley2k (1236 rep) | A: How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything? (score: -1) | posted 8 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by miroxlav (99 rep)
#13070 Em C (6035 rep) | Q: How to react to stranger taking long to answer my mail (score: 0) | posted 3 hours ago by Pharguin (11 rep)
4:59 PM
Saying that a group of people has a "mental disorder" probably violates Be Nice, and is grounds for comment deletion. — HDE 226868 ♦ 1 min ago
#2769 HDE 226868 (6461 rep) | A: Are issues of "political correctness" appropriate for the site? (score: -5) | posted 17 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by Physics-Compute (214 rep)
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