The Closet

12:06 AM

@PeterTaylor and the OP is "Physically unable to manipulate" a computer? two different people, not the same scenario. try again — Mr.J 46 secs ago

#9070 Mr.J (rep: 111) | A: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 1) | posted 3 days ago by Mr.J (111 rep)

Smelly

12:25 AM

I tried this once. It did not work very well. Some people take this as a 'Yes' and from point forward treat you like an ATM for technical advice — Underverse 1 min ago

#9055 Underverse (rep: 101) | A: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 13) | posted 4 days ago by El Stepherino (139 rep) | edited 3 days ago by El Stepherino (139 rep)

Were you angry, annoyed, or otherwise upset at the time it happened? — jpmc26 25 secs ago

#9103 jpmc26 (rep: 128) | Q: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 54) | posted 3 days ago by Jess K. (5781 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (11539 rep)

@jpmc26 nah - just frozen from our temps. — Jess K. 1 min ago

#9103 Jess K. (rep: 5781) | Q: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 54) | posted 3 days ago by Jess K. (5781 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (11539 rep)

The „broken record technique“ you suggest is a very effective tool, and while being assertive, it is not aggressive. — michi 1 min ago

#871 michi (rep: 1602) | A: How can I get out of a phone appointment for a service I no longer feel comfortable in having? (score: 3) | posted 174 days ago by ab2 (3423 rep) | edited 174 days ago by ab2 (3423 rep)

Smelly

12:53 AM

No. You must poop without letting absolutely any of the gas escape. — Alexander 1 min ago

#8939 Alexander (rep: 101) | Q: Is it OK to fart in a public toilet? (score: 0) | posted 6 days ago by luchonacho (1554 rep) | edited 6 days ago by Tinkeringbell (11539 rep)

If you've got a written, signed contract stating these things, then the question really boils down to whether you want to keep the client or not. If you do, then you do have to handle it gently - but if not, you can say "pay up or see you in court" — ArtOfCode 1 min ago

#9159 ArtOfCode (rep: 148) | Q: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 4) | posted 17 hours ago by Mark (121 rep)

Smelly

2:43 AM

Thanks for your answer :) — Susmitha 17 secs ago

#9196 Susmitha (rep: 149) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 1) | posted 7 minutes ago by A.fm. (234 rep)

Hi yes i am female. Sure if i find that someone really needs the seat i will give the seat to them be it male or female :) — Susmitha 53 secs ago

#9196 Susmitha (rep: 149) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 1) | posted 7 minutes ago by A.fm. (234 rep)

thesecretmaster

!!/uptime

Smelly

Up 04 hours, 01 minutes, 10 seconds

Depending on the country, the poster's gender could be irrelevant. In the U.S. able-bodied adults are always expected to give up priority seats if necessary, regardless of gender — C_Z_ 49 secs ago

#9196 C_Z_ (rep: 101) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 1) | posted 12 minutes ago by A.fm. (234 rep)

Smelly

3:02 AM

This is a common wording, but personally I never use the "just wondering" phrase. In this case it's actually a lie. You're not "just wondering"—you're actively waiting on the response so you can plan your trip logistics accordingly. This can be communicated politely without de-emphasizing the importance. — Wildcard 1 min ago

#9180 Wildcard (rep: 452) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 5) | posted 11 hours ago by MoMiJi (51 rep)

Smelly

4:07 AM

Along with what C_Z_ said, the question pretty clearly implies that the priority seats are meant for pregnant women but not all women. It seems odd to reply that women in fact can always use the priority seats - can you explain where that's coming from? — Jefromi 44 secs ago

#9196 Jefromi (rep: 375) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by A.fm. (234 rep)

I recommend quotation mark for direct quote instead of her words not mine. — Dima Tisnek 1 min ago

#8994 Dima Tisnek (rep: 111) | Q: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation? (score: 91) | posted 5 days ago by Steve (696 rep) | edited 38 hours ago by Community (1 rep)

Smelly

4:20 AM

It does not "clearly" imply the seats are meant for pregnant women but not all women. It doesn't speak to that at all. Rather, it simply calls them priority seating. Because we are talking about interpersonal skills and not the law, I did not consider the existence of any such laws. The point is, generally speaking, etiquette would not demand a woman give up a seat to another able-bodied woman, whereas an able-bodied man would typically be expected to give up a seat to a woman, particularly one who appeared to be struggling with balance, ability to stand, etc. — A.fm. 1 min ago

#9196 A.fm. (rep: 244) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by A.fm. (244 rep)

When you check in with each other periodically, is it only through text/social media and/or over the phone? — doctordonna 7 secs ago

#9191 doctordonna (rep: 615) | Q: Best way to ask a new friend on a date (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by BeeBop (6 rep)

How old are the two of you? Can neither of you travel freely? Do either of you have your own place? — 雰囲気読めない人 10 secs ago

#9191 雰囲気読めない人 (rep: 1254) | Q: Best way to ask a new friend on a date (score: -1) | posted 3 hours ago by BeeBop (6 rep)

Smelly

4:55 AM

Perfect answer. I was taken aback when I read that they didn't want to act on a potentially serious problem today due to the "stigmatization" that may occur. Reading is a lifetime endeavor. — A.fm. 1 min ago

#9194 A.fm. (rep: 244) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 1) | posted 3 hours ago by kingW3 (439 rep)

Smelly

5:50 AM

All the answers received are valuable and interesting. I like this one because it approaches the scenario in a very rational way and provides examples of how to handle specific situation. — Mark 47 secs ago

#9190 Mark (rep: 121) | A: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 3) | posted 5 hours ago by michi (1632 rep)

And the after sales voucher is a good idea. I already do it but it's not formalized so the client is not aware about the special conditions offered. — Mark just now

#9190 Mark (rep: 121) | A: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 3) | posted 5 hours ago by michi (1632 rep)

What is your relationship with this manager? Are you a subordinate, a customer? This really changes whether you can escalate and what the manager's obligations are to you. — Jarko Dubbeldam 1 min ago

#9197 Jarko Dubbeldam (rep: 3239) | Q: How to tactfully chase about an unsolved difficulty, managed by someone now ill? (score: -1) | posted 23 minutes ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (919 rep) | edited 16 minutes ago by [Canada - Area 51 Proposal](interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/2423/c

@JarkoDubbeldam I'm a customer. I added this to my post. — Canada - Area 51 Proposal 6 secs ago

#9197 Canada - Area 51 Proposal (rep: 919) | Q: How to tactfully chase about an unsolved difficulty, managed by someone now ill? (score: -1) | posted 26 minutes ago by Canada - Area 51 Proposal (919 rep) | edited 17 seconds ago by [Canada - Area 51 Proposal](interpersonal.stackexchange

Smelly

7:32 AM

While you might think you know literally nothing about configuring printers or whatnot, the reality is 90% of other people know even less than that. So you still might be helpful. — el.pescado 1 min ago

#9042 el.pescado (rep: 129) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 107) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (573 rep) | edited 46 minutes ago by 200_success (107 rep)

Smelly

7:43 AM

This does not provide an answer to the question. To critique or request clarification from an author, leave a comment below their post. - From Review — Jarko Dubbeldam 24 secs ago

#9199 Jarko Dubbeldam (rep: 3239) | A: How to deal with wife's ex coming to our house over finances-related issues? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by A.fm. (244 rep)

Smelly

8:03 AM

Thanks for this advice. I ended up doing something similar: I wrote a report detailing what I needed to tell him in meetings but couldn't, sent it to him and said that I would wait to discuss with him how he would like to proceed before I continued to do any more work for him. He claimed he would contact me and hasn't yet. Currently the project is on hold. — Stacey 45 secs ago

#9058 Stacey (rep: 3034) | A: How do I deal with a client who doesn't respect me? (score: 84) | posted 4 days ago by michi (1647 rep) | edited 3 days ago by michi (1647 rep)

@Mark I intended to have the voucher for testing and validating the product, so you can bill before. — michi 20 secs ago

#9190 michi (rep: 1672) | A: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 3) | posted 7 hours ago by michi (1672 rep)

Smelly

8:39 AM

+1. If all answers were as good as this, I'd never be off the site! The opposite view is often very helpful to size up a situation. — Tim 1 min ago

#9147 Tim (rep: 517) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 18) | posted 43 hours ago by Hertz (301 rep) | edited 43 hours ago by Hertz (301 rep)

Smelly

8:52 AM

Is it unhygienic if he doesn't touch his lips to my bottle while drinking? — Peaceful 1 min ago

#9203 Peaceful (rep: 534) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 0) | posted 53 minutes ago by doctordonna (645 rep)

Why don't you just tell him to stop? If you are on good terms with him and if he doesn't have serious mental issues, he won't mind. People like it if you talk to them like human beings — Raditz_35 8 secs ago

#9202 Raditz_35 (rep: 180) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Peaceful (534 rep)

Smelly

9:24 AM

Not an IPS, but what about putting the bottle far from his reach? In a drawer or something? — LinuxBlanket 5 secs ago

#9202 LinuxBlanket (rep: 1528) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by Peaceful (534 rep)

+1 for "bring him a bottle". You can tell him "ehi I noticed that you need to drink a lot, here's a bottle that you can refill like I do". — LinuxBlanket 1 min ago

#9203 LinuxBlanket (rep: 1528) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 1) | posted 1 hours ago by doctordonna (655 rep)

I am not sure how the Einstein quote fits here. If you are a genius looking up things, then surely this is can be just as helpful to the person with the problem? — phresnel 8 secs ago

#9043 phresnel (rep: 101) | A: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 119) | posted 4 days ago by Jess K. (5856 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Jess K. (5856 rep)

Very true, the second clause seems a bit obsolete when you put it like that! — MoMiJi 34 secs ago

#9180 MoMiJi (rep: 61) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 6) | posted 18 hours ago by MoMiJi (61 rep)

@Racheet If you think its rude to be called, then why do you own a phone? My mind is boggled. I agree that if you are getting calls all the time its exhausting and annoying. But the occasional phone call shouldn't be upsetting to you. — Polygnome 1 min ago

#9164 Polygnome (rep: 717) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 35) | posted 24 hours ago by Markino (2328 rep)

Smelly

9:50 AM

Your strategy is to lie to him and then stick with that story no matter what after it has been stated that Peaceful likes him. Also some convoluted plan involving multiple bottles isn't really needed for a problem that can be solved easily. It just gives Peaceful more work to do — Raditz_35 31 secs ago

#9203 Raditz_35 (rep: 180) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by doctordonna (665 rep)

Smelly

10:11 AM

@A.fm. In the UK at least, priority seats have pictures near them that clearly shows a pregnant woman. They're intended for people who are having trouble standing regardless of their sex, not places to act chivalrous. — Pyritie 1 min ago

#9196 Pyritie (rep: 254) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 3) | posted 7 hours ago by A.fm. (250 rep)

Yes, it definitely makes sense. I have to improve several things about my job management. — Mark 22 secs ago

#9198 Mark (rep: 123) | A: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by doctordonna (675 rep)

Smelly

10:31 AM

Thank you very much for this answer. You're so right and I will use your example when I talk to them again. — Tycho's Nose 1 min ago

#9194 Tycho's Nose (rep: 4954) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 6) | posted 8 hours ago by kingW3 (489 rep)

Smelly

10:44 AM

The ex's behaviour strikes me as very stalkerish. Not only has he tracked down his ex-wife, but he's turned up in his cop uniform almost certainly in an attempt to put himself in a position of perceived authority in the situation — Trebor 1 min ago

#9188 Trebor (rep: 121) | A: How to deal with wife's ex coming to our house over finances-related issues? (score: 3) | posted 13 hours ago by gnasher729 (788 rep)

Unpopular opinion: If you care about these people, just do it. Ask favours when they can help you. — AJFaraday 47 secs ago

#9042 AJFaraday (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 112) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (598 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by 200_success (107 rep)

@Cysolis-turima Do you have any confirmation that the ex is indeed a cop, and hasn't just put on a cop uniform in an attempt to con your wife? — Trebor 1 min ago

#3448 Trebor (rep: 121) | Q: How to deal with wife's ex coming to our house over finances-related issues? (score: 9) | posted 131 days ago by Cysolis-turima (46 rep) | edited 130 days ago by Jasper (133 rep)

Smelly

11:06 AM

You say "People like you are why I go out killing." — Brent Hackers 58 secs ago

#9103 Brent Hackers (rep: 111) | Q: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 57) | posted 3 days ago by Jess K. (5891 rep) | edited 15 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (11554 rep)

+1 I'd go with a nice simple "People like you are why I go out killing." — Brent Hackers 7 secs ago

#9104 Brent Hackers (rep: 111) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 53) | posted 3 days ago by doctordonna (685 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by doctordonna (685 rep)

Smelly

11:20 AM

Buy a bottle, (wrap it if you want), give it to him, and tell him that you noticed that he did not have one. If needed, make a joke about him being able to drink his own water now (You can also do that a few days later, if his habit stays). — Lot 1 min ago

#9202 Lot (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by Peaceful (544 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Peaceful (544 rep)

Giving him a second, "ugly" bottle is very passive-agressive. Giving him any second bottle without a good reason is quite passive-aggressive. And a good reason might be that you're concerned with hygiene, but then you shall note it to him (and it shall be the true reason of course). — yo' 1 min ago

#9203 yo' (rep: 339) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by doctordonna (685 rep)

dye your water pale yellow — millimoose 1 min ago

#9202 millimoose (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by Peaceful (544 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Peaceful (544 rep)

@A.fm. More likely they're concerned about potential costs associated with acquiring appropriate resources to support someone with a learning difficulty. Better to just let one kid struggle than spend money that could be useful elsewhere. I find the idea that someone would suffer more from the stigma of a learning difficulty than having to live with it undiagnosed to be laughable. I was diagnosed with dyslexia at university and even just learning about dyslexia was so useful to me that for a long time I couldn't help but think "If I'd only known sooner". — Brent Hackers 1 min ago

#9194 Brent Hackers (rep: 111) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 6) | posted 9 hours ago by kingW3 (489 rep)

@millimoose or blood red with a label 'Victim 12 - Date: 12-01' — Mixxiphoid 1 min ago

#9202 Mixxiphoid (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Peaceful (549 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by Peaceful (549 rep)

Definitively calling. What I like about messages is that I can respond at my convenience, so people can't expect a response within hours. That is true also of "reminders". If it needs to be handled now, call. — henning 1 min ago

#9164 henning (rep: 3542) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 38) | posted 26 hours ago by Markino (2358 rep)

Smelly

11:51 AM

It all seems to related with SE chatroom. Why don't you try contacting SE or posting it Meta Stack Exchange? — A J 32 secs ago

#9208 A J (rep: 4870) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -1) | posted 15 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (99 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (99 rep)

Its the internet, just leave the chatroom and join another one. The internet is filled with idiots, no reason to start a discussion with one. — Granny 57 secs ago

#9208 Granny (rep: 158) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: 0) | posted 20 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (104 rep) | edited 7 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (104 rep)

Smelly

12:17 PM

Once again, D, you are misrepresenting the situation for your own dramatic purposes. Voting to close. Not a real question / vague rant. — Rory Alsop 1 min ago

#9208 Rory Alsop (rep: 2487) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -1) | posted 42 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep) | edited 28 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep)

@RoryAlsop what situation are you referring to? I am not speaking about any of my interactions in a Stack Exchange chatroom, so I'm not sure what you mean? And I think I've asked an IPS question that will be useful for many others that spend time in chatrooms. — D.Hutchinson 1 min ago

#9208 D.Hutchinson (rep: 107) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -1) | posted 47 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (107 rep) | edited 33 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (107 rep)

What country you are in? In many countries drinking from someone's bottle is a bit like using the same toothbrush... — 9ilsdx 9rvj 0lo 27 secs ago

#9202 9ilsdx 9rvj 0lo (rep: 131) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 5) | posted 4 hours ago by Peaceful (559 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Peaceful (559 rep)

#9208 Locutus of Borg (rep: 101) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -1) | posted 49 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (107 rep) | edited 35 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (107 rep)

@Polygnome I think that's my point, I understood that some people from a different culture would be "boggled", I wanted to explain that different groups of people have different social norms around phone calls. I own a "phone" so I can contact people over hangouts, discord, LINE, twitter and skype without having to carry my desktop computer around with me everywhere. — Racheet 13 secs ago

#9164 Racheet (rep: 141) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 38) | posted 27 hours ago by Markino (2358 rep)

Hey - can you please include what culture this is taking place in? We may have to close this until that information is added, because knowledge of the culture can be very relevant to answers. — Arwen Undómiel 5 secs ago

#9202 Arwen Undómiel (rep: 962) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 6) | posted 4 hours ago by Peaceful (564 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Peaceful (564 rep)

D - if you edit your post to just that final sentence (as that is the only useful bit) and remove of it, then it would be a relatively useful IPS question. However you have removed the value of the post with all that other stuff. — Rory Alsop 30 secs ago

#9208 Rory Alsop (rep: 2487) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -2) | posted 57 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep) | edited 43 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep)

I understand that what is offensive to one person is not to another, but I have to say that this statement is not meant to be offensive. The SUBJECT of a joke and the TARGET are two very different things. This is just wordplay. Everybody's mother is a 'relative'. But your mother was not the 'target' of the joke. When you think about it, it could work with any other relative, eg "time is relative and so is your uncle". He wasn't to know that your mother is ill, but that isn't surprising, he is a stranger to you. If you talk to strangers then you should expect them not to know things like that. — Astralbee 13 secs ago

#9208 Astralbee (rep: 3056) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -2) | posted 58 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep) | edited 44 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (105 rep)

Keeping the bottle empty pretty much destroys the purpose of having the bottle in the first place! - Makes more sense to hide the real bottle and leave an unappealing bottle in plain sight. — A. I. Breveleri 1 min ago

#9207 A. I. Breveleri (rep: 101) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 0) | posted 1 hours ago by sagar zankar (1 rep)

There is a lot of good answer I'm accepting this one because it is the closest to what we're trying right now. We made some schedule, talked about strategies and what comes first. I'll be editing the question to give feedback as soon as we get some results. — Yutah 1 min ago

#8997 Yutah (rep: 136) | A: How can I help my Significant Other to overcome his fear particularly when I don't understand it? (score: 2) | posted 5 days ago by psr (136 rep)

I second @Astralbee: the moderator must've been assuming you'd get the wordplay. — Gerard H. Pille 12 secs ago

#9208 Gerard H. Pille (rep: 109) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -3) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (103 rep) | edited 59 minutes ago by D.Hutchinson (103 rep)

-1... there are better ways than white lying. — TOOGAM 19 secs ago

#9203 TOOGAM (rep: 405) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 4) | posted 4 hours ago by doctordonna (713 rep)

IMHO The part with "I would be polite if I knew you but I have no obligation to think about your feelings at all if we only just met." is really an asshole thing to say. Definetily. And i get that cancer jokes can be really hard because it really is an illness. Something that is never "good" BUT saying all mum-jokes are intolerable because there are mums that are ill, is not oke. In almost every aspect of your life there can be bad times! With that logic you could'nt make jokes about ANYTHING because there is always the possibility of it hurting someone.... — MansNotHot 53 secs ago

#9211 MansNotHot (rep: 603) | A: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: 1) | posted 27 minutes ago by Kate Gregory (12087 rep)

..Thats just a risk you have to take, or not. And imho mum jokes are really to take lightly. Of course the right course of action would have been to apologice, but a joke is a joke as long as it's not purposefully offending. — MansNotHot 35 secs ago

#9211 MansNotHot (rep: 603) | A: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: 1) | posted 28 minutes ago by Kate Gregory (12087 rep)

@ArwenUndómiel: The fact that I get tired because of somebody else is culture independent I think. — Peaceful 1 min ago

#9202 Peaceful (rep: 564) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 6) | posted 5 hours ago by Peaceful (564 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Peaceful (564 rep)

Smelly

1:18 PM

Since both other posts are deleted, I don't see the value of leaving this hanging around as well.... cast a delete vote. — Tinkeringbell 1 min ago

#9208 Tinkeringbell (rep: 11564) | Q: In a chatroom, responding to a joke that is offensive, even if it wasn't intended to be (score: -8) | posted 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (93 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by D.Hutchinson (93 rep)

Smelly

1:35 PM

@sudorm-rfslash love your username :D — Hi I'm Frogatto 15 secs ago

#9042 Hi I'm Frogatto (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 114) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (608 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by 200_success (107 rep)

@BrentHackers The evaluation would take place at a government facility that specializes in evaluating and diagnosing learning disabilities and it's free but it takes a bit of time to get an appointment. — Tycho's Nose 53 secs ago

#9194 Tycho's Nose (rep: 4959) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 6) | posted 11 hours ago by kingW3 (499 rep)

I don't understand. You talk about ROI and "risk-return" but .... what exactly is the "return" in this situation? What do you obtain if people smile at you? — Radu Murzea just now

#9147 Radu Murzea (rep: 101) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 22) | posted 48 hours ago by Hertz (341 rep) | edited 48 hours ago by Hertz (341 rep)

good on you for the voluntary work you are doing! — michi 1 min ago

#9187 michi (rep: 1702) | Q: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 6) | posted 16 hours ago by Tycho's Nose (4959 rep)

@Peaceful Be that as it may, every culture handles interactions somewhat differently. The best solution is the one that fits the specific situation. — Dent7777 1 min ago

#9202 Dent7777 (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 6) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (566 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Peaceful (566 rep)

I too would like to know in which culture it's appropriate to just grab someone elses' water bottle and just drink it without asking first... If somebody did this to me, my immediate reaction would be to say "WTF are you doing? Don't touch my shit.". There are literally 4-5 people in the world I would allow to drink directly from my container without asking, and 3 of them are immediate relations — Taegost 57 secs ago

#9202 Taegost (rep: 223) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 6) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (566 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Peaceful (566 rep)

Smelly

2:10 PM

Just send Aragon in a quest for a dictionary ;). Or just keep google translator bookmarked in the favorites. — Juan Carlos Oropeza 1 min ago

#429 Juan Carlos Oropeza (rep: 101) | Q: How do I communicate what I want to say in the language that the conversation is taking place in when I don't know the word? (score: 18) | posted 198 days ago by Arwen Undómiel (962 rep) | edited 50 minutes ago by [Anne Daunted](interpersonal.sta

@Tycho'sNose I realise this may not apply everywhere but I was referring to things that may be the responsibility of a school to provide to diagnosed students. At my school kids with SpLDs were given laptops and that came out of school budgets. Naturally, although all were tested, the number of students that were diagnosed with dyslexia was considerably lower than the 10% of the population estimated by the BDA (British Dyslexics Association) or even the estimated 4% of severe sufferers. — Brent Hackers 1 min ago

#9194 Brent Hackers (rep: 111) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 7) | posted 12 hours ago by kingW3 (509 rep)

Mithrandir

@thesecretmaster Have any timeline?

Smelly

This question may be useful for you: When to Offer Your Seat :) — Em C just now

#9195 Em C (rep: 4782) | Q: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 6) | posted 11 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep)

What's the benefit of pretending that nothing changed? Wouldn't it be better for the colleague to know that their behaviour is inappropriate (to prevent future incidents with OP or others)? — NotThatGuy 46 secs ago

#9212 NotThatGuy (rep: 1844) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 4) | posted 1 hours ago by Mads Aggerholm (41 rep)

Not worthy of an answer, so I'll put here my usual answer, even if I am merely a programmer: "Asking a programmer to fix your printer is like asking a writer to fix your typewriter." — Simone Chelo 1 min ago

#9042 Simone Chelo (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 115) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (613 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by 200_success (107 rep)

@9ilsdx9rvj0lo Their location on their profile is set to India, so unless they've moved, I'd guess there — George 30 secs ago

#9202 George (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep)

Also, meta discussion about this question — Em C 54 secs ago

#9195 Em C (rep: 4782) | Q: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 6) | posted 11 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep)

If OP's profile is accurate, this is in Pune. A peculiarity in India is that it is very common to drink from bottles, glasses, or cups without touching the lips to the container. The concept of water left out in the open being communal or public is also not unusual - even to the point where a pitcher and cups for water on a terrace table at a restaurant would not seem off-limits to a passing pedestrian, even if people were seated at that table (at least in some parts of India). Maybe this culture varies and this coworker comes from a more "communal water" area of India? — J... 1 min ago

#9202 J... (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep)

Conversely, if your partner is a Data Controller (in U.K. terms), you should not have administrator access to their work machine, otherwise you both may be contravening data protection laws. Certainly the senior barrister whose husband accidentally backed up all her confidential files to a publicly accessible cloud service got a slap on the wrists and a reminder the fine could have been much higher. — Mark Booth 2 mins ago

#9100 Mark Booth (rep: 101) | A: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 7) | posted 3 days ago by T.E.D. (372 rep) | edited 3 days ago by T.E.D. (372 rep)

I like this reply and would emphasize the "blank." No communication at all through expression. Just look without blinking until the transaction is concluded. Any self-conscious person will think about the exchange for hours afterwards, seeking to understand (and possibly succeeding). — Forklift 41 secs ago

#9112 Forklift (rep: 211) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 18) | posted 3 days ago by Adnan Y (387 rep)

@J... honestly I have a lot of difficulty imaginating drinking from a bottle or cup without touching the container with the lips without splitting the water all over the face... — 9ilsdx 9rvj 0lo 1 min ago

#9202 9ilsdx 9rvj 0lo (rep: 131) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep)

@MarkBooth - Uck. Yes, if one or both of us were using the PC's for work and not just family business / entertainment, I suspect this would have to undergo some tweaking. And hopefully in that case I could insist I can't maintain said computer due to HIPPA, or whatever the UK equivalent is. :-) — T.E.D. 31 secs ago

#9100 T.E.D. (rep: 372) | A: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 7) | posted 3 days ago by T.E.D. (372 rep) | edited 3 days ago by T.E.D. (372 rep)

@9ilsdx9rvj0lo it's very possible to do, as long as it's not a glass, that's a bit tougher... but with bottles it's quite easy, the "dificult part" is actually swallowing without your tongue. — Brian H. 46 secs ago

#9202 Brian H. (rep: 105) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep)

@monamona: This question has been closed as "too broad" and is being discussed on our meta site at interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2374/… Please follow the detailed advice of the excellent answers there and edit your question adequately along those lines. Then it can be reopened. — English Student 53 secs ago

#9178 English Student (rep: 6067) | Q: How to respond to a brother with the basic attitude: "You are right and I have my peace"? (score: 0) | posted 24 hours ago by monamona (110 rep)

I think you're on the right track here but being deceptive about it really helps no one, it just creates an opportunity to be embarrassed in the future if the coworker finds out. — thanby 1 min ago

#9212 thanby (rep: 210) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by Mads Aggerholm (39 rep)

@Polygnome Most people where I live don't own phones, they own pocket-computers that are called phones which also happen to coincidentally have the functions of a phone. — Onyz 52 secs ago

#9164 Onyz (rep: 51) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 40) | posted 29 hours ago by Markino (2378 rep)

@9ilsdx9rvj0lo Sure, and using chopsticks seems to confound adults who grew up using forks... anyway, it's a custom that stems from the Hindu concept of Jootha. — J... 1 min ago

#9202 J... (rep: 101) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 8) | posted 6 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Peaceful (576 rep)

thesecretmaster

2:43 PM

@Mithrandir Oops, I forgot. Next couple days?

Mithrandir

'k

Just wanted to know the timeline, cause I'm nosy ;)

Smelly

@Polygnome Most people where I live don't own phones, they own pocket-computers that are called phones which also happen to coincidentally have the functions of a phone. — Onyz 15 mins ago

#9164 Onyz (rep: 51) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 40) | posted 29 hours ago by Markino (2378 rep)

@Polygnome Most people where I live don't own phones, they own pocket-computers that are called phones which also happen to coincidentally have the functions of a phone. — Onyz 16 mins ago

#9164 Onyz (rep: 51) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 40) | posted 29 hours ago by Markino (2378 rep)

thesecretmaster

Fixed?

No

Smelly

@Polygnome Most people where I live don't own phones, they own pocket-computers that are called phones which also happen to coincidentally have the functions of a phone. — Onyz 18 mins ago

#9164 Onyz (51 rep) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 40) | posted 29 hours ago by Markino (2378 rep)

thesecretmaster

Fixed?

Yep

@Mithrandir All fixed. If I forgot for more than a day or two, please ping me about things like that. I just forget sometimes :)

Smelly

2:58 PM

Hi, folks. Please do not write answers in comments. If you want to make a suggestion for how to improve the question, or ask for a clarification, then a comment is the way to go. If you want to write an answer, then write something up and post it as an answer. If you want to make a joke . . . maybe save it for somewhere else, not comments or answers. — HDE 226868 ♦ 1 min ago

#9042 HDE 226868 (5270 rep) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 117) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (623 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by 200_success (107 rep)

thesecretmaster

Also, the "rep: <num>" vs "<num> rep" inconsistency is fixed.

Smelly

+1 for "they mean well" and sometimes letting yourself smile in response. Several answers seem to jump to the conclusion that it's some kind of power play or self gratification. While there are certainly contexts in which that conclusion can be drawn, jumping to it in general seems to be an unnecessary escalation. — bvoyelr 1 min ago

#9118 bvoyelr (131 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 12) | posted 3 days ago by Tycho's Nose (4969 rep)

+1 for responding with a silly condition: well meaning people might do it and win that smile they're looking for. — bvoyelr 47 secs ago

#9140 bvoyelr (131 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 10) | posted 2 days ago by michi (1712 rep)

Mithrandir

3:15 PM

@thesecretmaster Oklahoma - I just like to know the timeline of stuff

Smelly

Does priority seat mean first class seat? — IamSoNotListening 46 secs ago

#9195 IamSoNotListening (4982 rep) | Q: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 6) | posted 12 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep)

thesecretmaster

@Mithrandir If you ever want to take a stab at messing with the code, feel free to send me a pull request on the repo.

Mithrandir

I will - I'm just not familiar enough with it to start messing around with stuff ;)

Smelly

As per meta discussion, can you include the location / culture in which this is happening, and who priority seats are designated for? — Em C 1 min ago

#9195 Em C (4782 rep) | Q: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 6) | posted 12 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep) | edited 12 hours ago by Susmitha (182 rep)

How do you know that these touches are unnecessary? — Anne Daunted 7 secs ago

#9216 Anne Daunted (7898 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 0) | posted 2 minutes ago by GlinesMome (351 rep)

Do you warn these medical professionals of your sensitivity to touch when you meet? It'll change how you may address this issue. — Kendra 1 min ago

#9216 Kendra (1476 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 0) | posted 5 minutes ago by GlinesMome (351 rep)

@Kendra that is a part of my illness, but, yes, a reminder can be a hint. — GlinesMome 37 secs ago

#9216 GlinesMome (351 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by GlinesMome (351 rep)

@AnneDaunted I do not see the point of 'holding' my leg when they look at my nose — GlinesMome 1 min ago

#9216 GlinesMome (351 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 0) | posted 10 minutes ago by GlinesMome (351 rep)

@NotThatGuy his behavior seems to be culturally acceptable, i think that's the main problem. — AytAyt 40 secs ago

#9212 AytAyt (135 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by Mads Aggerholm (39 rep)

@OldPadawan the first sentence is what, the second is why. It's short, but definitely a complete answer. — AytAyt just now

#9176 AytAyt (135 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 2) | posted 26 hours ago by Nat (121 rep)

Inner thigh not thigh — Paparazzi 6 secs ago

#9216 Paparazzi (584 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 0) | posted 19 minutes ago by GlinesMome (351 rep)

Possible duplicate of How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them? — IamSoNotListening 5 secs ago

#9216 IamSoNotListening (4982 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 2) | posted 26 minutes ago by GlinesMome (361 rep)

Not clear. What is 'hand play' with my stomach? Just because you don't understand why does not mean the touch is unnecessary. — Paparazzi 45 secs ago

#9216 Paparazzi (584 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 2) | posted 26 minutes ago by GlinesMome (361 rep)

Smelly

4:08 PM

I love that third one ^_^ In practice I'd probably go with a "why don't you mind your own business?" with a passive aggressive faux-charming-smile :) — Lightness Races in Orbit 12 secs ago

#9104 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 55) | posted 3 days ago by doctordonna (753 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by doctordonna (753 rep)

"I wanted numbers. The more smiles, the better." You've really got to ask yourself why that is. — Lightness Races in Orbit 6 secs ago

#9147 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 25) | posted 50 hours ago by Hertz (371 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by Hertz (371 rep)

Without even clicking on the link I now recall that article and it's perfect, as is your answer. — Lightness Races in Orbit just now

#9172 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 2) | posted 27 hours ago by Mindwin (221 rep)

"I have rigor mortis" classic! — Lightness Races in Orbit 31 secs ago

#9111 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 7) | posted 3 days ago by ab2 (3433 rep) | edited 2 days ago by ab2 (3433 rep)

@Racheet : Just a word of support. You politely pointed out what the conventions are in your social circle (and that if they were the same in the OP's circle, this would make the answer less appropriate). Some people (me) were quietly surprised; others seemed to believe that because the conventions are different in their circles, you must be mistaken about the conventions in your circle (or that your conventions should change). — Martin Bonner 31 secs ago

#9164 Martin Bonner (101 rep) | A: How to nicely remind someone to reply to an important message without being rude? (score: 41) | posted 31 hours ago by Markino (2388 rep)

@ilsdx9jvr0lo it is very easy, pour slowly from a height into your open mouth. Stop before mouth-container overflows. Swallow, repeat. With skill, one can swallow while pouring. — Mindwin 1 min ago

#9202 Mindwin (221 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 9) | posted 8 hours ago by Peaceful (581 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Peaceful (581 rep)

@LightnessRacesinOrbit Some of us run on smiles. I'm similar to Hertz in trying to get as many smiles as I can... But it's not that I run on smiles, it's rather that "The more smiles, the better." means that I can see there's still reasons to smile in the world. Every time I see someone smile, it renews my faith a wee bit. (Sorry for the deepness!) — Kendra 8 secs ago

#9147 Kendra (1476 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 50 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

@Kendra: I think we all benefit from getting a smile (I vaguely recall reading a journal article about endorphin stimulation) but there's a gaping chasm between enjoying a smile and literally setting out to maximise a running tally of them in your head. That's kind of disturbing behaviour. — Lightness Races in Orbit 18 secs ago

#9147 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

@Kendra: It's interesting to me that you assume I'm not where you're at. — Lightness Races in Orbit just now

#9147 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

@LightnessRacesinOrbit I can see where you might see that, and I'm not in Hertz' shoes, so I can't speak for him... But trust me when I say when you're where I'm at, it's something good to focus on above and beyond what one normally gets out of a smile from a stranger. So... I go for all the smiles I can get, trying to maximize the total. Probably one of those "you have to be there to understand" moments, unfortunately. — Kendra 1 min ago

#9147 Kendra (1476 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 50 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

Multiple options were provided for the OP to decide. It's not uncommon for illnesses to pass around in the office. If they're in a cold climate, sickness tends to occur more as people will stay in and pass it around. Regardless of lips touching, illness can still be spread through the air. The OP does not have to continue with the illness story after the fact, but rather that is still unhygienic to share. It's really more for a conversation to be opened that the OP is also not willing to share. Also depends on which tactic OP wants to use; bluntly, subtly, politely, passively. — doctordonna 19 secs ago

#9203 doctordonna (753 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 4) | posted 8 hours ago by doctordonna (753 rep)

@LightnessRacesinOrbit I won't debate this with you past this comment. Suffice it to say that if you were exactly where I'm at right now, you might understand why getting so many smiles is important to me. I certainly wouldn't call trying to get smiles "playing a game" with people, unless you truly are just toying with them. What I do, and what it sounds like Hertz does, is try to make people laugh/smile not through demands, but through comedy or kindness. If cheering people up is playing games, I'm glad to be a player I suppose. — Kendra 23 secs ago

#9147 Kendra (1476 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

It's not to say you're not already doing a good job. There's always going to be those few clients who feel entitled. This is to help manage those clients and protect your sanity. — doctordonna 1 min ago

#9198 doctordonna (751 rep) | A: Writing supply conditions that define customer's deadline (score: 2) | posted 10 hours ago by doctordonna (751 rep)

@BrentHackers Definitly going to use that, if it ever happens — Midnightas 2 mins ago

#9104 Midnightas (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 54) | posted 3 days ago by doctordonna (751 rep) | edited 18 hours ago by doctordonna (751 rep)

I'd add a slight variation: Add another bottle... for the other person. It pays to be nice and if you are going to fill one bottle, why not two? — WernerCD just now

#9212 WernerCD (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by Mads Aggerholm (39 rep)

What does this add over other answers that say the same thing? How does this help the situation? How do you approach giving the bottle to the colleague? Your answer needs far more explanation, and is currently just repeating a tip mentioned in a couple other answers. — Kendra 45 secs ago

#9219 Kendra (1475 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: -1) | posted 2 minutes ago by user11462 (1 rep)

@Kendra: "Suffice it to say that if you were exactly where I'm at right now, you might understand why getting so many smiles is important to me." You're doing it again. I'm sure you hate it when people make assumptions about your state! Disagreeing on a topic like this is not sufficient grounds I can assure you — Lightness Races in Orbit 1 min ago

#9147 Lightness Races in Orbit (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 26) | posted 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep) | edited 51 hours ago by Hertz (381 rep)

Going to see so many doctors sounds nerve wracking especially if you don't know what to expect. Would it help if you asked the doctor to walk you through the process/be aware of where they touch unless absolutely necessary because you are sensitive to touch? Some doctors become very clinical and forget that there are people behind the illness they are treating. — doctordonna 32 secs ago

#9216 doctordonna (751 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 3) | posted 1 hours ago by GlinesMome (366 rep) | edited 40 minutes ago by Snow (7194 rep)

Can't we have a little less butt-kissing? How about "That's mine, leave it alone?!". — i-CONICA 53 secs ago

#9205 i-CONICA (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 40) | posted 6 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep)

I can always count on this stack exchange to have a hot question to make me feel socially prescient. Every day. I'm a social wizard. — wedstrom 1 min ago

#9202 wedstrom (121 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 10) | posted 9 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep)

Is this - (A) he puts his germy mouth on your water bottle and drinks from it, or (B) he uses up the water in your bottle by pouring it out into his cup? Not polite, either way, but the former is a bit more extreme on the thoughtless scale. — PoloHoleSet 1 min ago

#9202 PoloHoleSet (769 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 10) | posted 9 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep)

@NotThatGuy - I disagree, a bit. There's the "don't want a child out there that I'm not involved with," but there's also a "and if I wanted to be involved in the life of a child that is mine, then I'd be having children in my own relationships." It's not necessarily implied that DNA would be forthcoming if they carved out a role for OP. — PoloHoleSet 27 secs ago

#8995 PoloHoleSet (769 rep) | A: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation? (score: 189) | posted 5 days ago by AndreiROM (5777 rep) | edited 5 days ago by AndreiROM (5777 rep)

@Mindwin - While there may still be the experience, hassle, financial hit and heartache already done that can't be undone, I'd disagree with "not much relief." Whether it's "enough" is clearly subjective. — PoloHoleSet 1 min ago

#8996 PoloHoleSet (769 rep) | A: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation? (score: 83) | posted 5 days ago by baldPrussian (4421 rep)

@Stacey Have you found a solution to this? Can you share it with us? — Radu Murzea 1 min ago

#6697 Radu Murzea (101 rep) | Q: How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him? (score: 56) | posted 64 days ago by Stacey (3251 rep) | edited 63 days ago by Stacey (3251 rep)

Indirect approaches to conflict are a major part of some cultures. It's not butt-kissing. It might seem sycophantic to you, but in other countries it isn't. — Dancrumb 32 secs ago

#9205 Dancrumb (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 40) | posted 6 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep)

If only OP had decided to answer the first comment about location and culture, all this chat could have been avoided... Askers, you have nothing to gain by withholding information. Just tell us more about your situation to begin with. — JPhi1618 1 min ago

#9202 JPhi1618 (131 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 10) | posted 9 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep) | edited 6 hours ago by Peaceful (585 rep)

Smelly

5:39 PM

@Pyritie If there were any evidence this question was specific to the UK, that'd be a relevant point. Nonetheless, my last two sentences covers this situation as well. Again, from an interpersonal standpoint, not a legal one, as this is not the law Stack. — A.fm. 1 min ago

#9196 A.fm. (254 rep) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 3) | posted 15 hours ago by A.fm. (254 rep)

@BrentHackers As reprehensible as that notion is, you're probably right. — A.fm. 52 secs ago

#9194 A.fm. (254 rep) | A: How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power (score: 7) | posted 16 hours ago by kingW3 (519 rep)

Smelly

5:59 PM

Not being direct is what causes this kind of issue in the first place. — Matthew Read 45 secs ago

#9205 Matthew Read (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 44) | posted 7 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep) | edited 7 hours ago by Stacey (3251 rep)

"How do I stop people taking advantage of me?" "Give them things!" This is terrible advice. — Matthew Read 41 secs ago

#9219 Matthew Read (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: -2) | posted 1 hours ago by user11462 (1 rep)

Smelly

6:11 PM

Wow, yes, op is a kind if a host in this situation. Why not keep enough water for the good guests? If guest is not welcome, then tell him to **** stop drinking from the water. — akostadinov 1 min ago

#9221 akostadinov (101 rep) | A: How to tell a colleague to not to drink water from my bottle? (score: 2) | posted 1 hours ago by WernerCD (121 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by WernerCD (121 rep)

Smelly

6:30 PM

You are going to be touched during and exam. Why wait and pull away? That would create an awkward situation and is what OP wants to avoid. If the Dr will not respect a (preemptive) verbal request then find another Dr. — Paparazzi 1 min ago

#9217 Paparazzi (584 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by Snow (7224 rep)

OP wasn’t expecting to be touched. I’m pretty sure that if he saw an impending contact, he’d say something. — Snow 1 min ago

#9217 Snow (7234 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 3) | posted 2 hours ago by Snow (7234 rep)

The OP is expected to be touched during an exam. — Paparazzi 1 min ago

#9217 Paparazzi (583 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Snow (7232 rep)

Please be careful. If the experience is too traumatic it can make the fear worse. Be patient - turning fear into boredom is inherently a slow process. — psr 51 secs ago

#8997 psr (136 rep) | A: How can I help my Significant Other to overcome his fear particularly when I don't understand it? (score: 2) | posted 5 days ago by psr (136 rep)

Smelly

7:06 PM

But only at the places being examined, not at the (perceived unnecessary) touches on other parts of their body (Bicep? Inner thigh!?) Clearly those are not the parts the OP understands are being examined, @Paparazzi. One touch is OK if it's necessary but two touches aren't OK if they're not both necessary. I think pulling away from the entire scene is fine until the OP has talked it over with the doctor. — Beanluc 1 min ago

#9217 Beanluc (229 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by Snow (7232 rep)

Smelly

7:17 PM

@Beanluc OP does not like being touched PERIOD. Pull away creates an uncomfortable situation and that is exactly what the OP want to avoid. — Paparazzi 17 secs ago

#9217 Paparazzi (583 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 2) | posted 3 hours ago by Snow (7232 rep)

Smelly

8:04 PM

The doctor should already only be touching their patient when medically necessary, so your request does sound very close to "please don't grope me." Perhaps something like asking them to explain what they're doing before they touch would be better? — David Richerby 1 min ago

#9218 David Richerby (171 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 10) | posted 4 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5102 rep) | edited 47 minutes ago by IamSoNotListening (5102 rep)

@RaduMurzea the project ended a couple of weeks later so it went away on its own eventually. — Stacey 14 secs ago

#6697 Stacey (3251 rep) | Q: How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him? (score: 56) | posted 64 days ago by Stacey (3251 rep) | edited 63 days ago by Stacey (3251 rep)

thinkgeek.com/product/388b — james large 1 min ago

#9042 james large (101 rep) | Q: How to tell people I'm not their tech support? (score: 121) | posted 4 days ago by NaCl (643 rep) | edited 13 hours ago by 200_success (107 rep)

Your question is very broad. Is your objective to make friends with this girl? You don't specify. — AndreiROM 9 secs ago

#9224 AndreiROM (5797 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 0) | posted 16 minutes ago by David Yang (41 rep)

@AndreiROM I just added this to the question! Thanks! So, my only goal is to maintain a peace of mind at home throughout this semester. — David Yang 1 min ago

#9224 David Yang (41 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 0) | posted 21 minutes ago by David Yang (41 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by David Yang (41 rep)

Illicit or elicit? I think you have a misspelling here (I can't make the edit, though, curse the "too minor" edit rule!) — Brian 46 secs ago

#7528 Brian (101 rep) | A: How to avoid a museum guard when you feel he might endanger you? (score: 14) | posted 44 days ago by apaul (25301 rep)

@PoloHoleSet a society that wants people to donate biological material out of goodwill must do everything to ensure the donors have absolutely no problems, concerns, expenses or harassment (but not rewards because then its not a donation, its a sale). But in Marotta's case he was a bit naive. Lets hope it never gets to this kind of situation — Mindwin 1 min ago

#8996 Mindwin (221 rep) | A: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation? (score: 83) | posted 6 days ago by baldPrussian (4431 rep)

@Brian Elicit thanks. — apaul 1 min ago

#7528 apaul (25301 rep) | A: How to avoid a museum guard when you feel he might endanger you? (score: 14) | posted 44 days ago by apaul (25301 rep) | edited 2 minutes ago by apaul (25301 rep)

@DavidRicherby The description is a bit ambiguous, but it sounds like the touches, while perhaps not strictly necessary, are also not groping. A bit of “human touch,” intended as comfort perhaps—or perhaps just stabilization while reaching at an awkward angle to feel for whatever they need to feel for. The OP doesn’t sound like their discomfort comes from perceived sexual intent, rather than a pure physical sensitivity to touch. Though there is an emphasis on the sex of the doctors, so maybe I’m wrong. — KRyan 2 mins ago

#9218 KRyan (302 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 11) | posted 4 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5112 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5112 rep)

What a troglodyte! He may not respond to reason. However - even if he doesn't touch lips to the bottle, he could still catch anything you've got. You could ask him, "Do you know what an asymptomatic carrier is? You don't? Oh, you will. Let me know how you feel in a couple days." en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Mallon — Don Branson just now

#9202 Don Branson (101 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not drink water from my bottle? (score: 19) | posted 12 hours ago by Peaceful (631 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by NVZ (8310 rep)

Young college Americans are often rude (I was one). Compared to people who are nightmares to live with, rudeness really isn't that bad. — Clay07g just now

#9224 Clay07g (641 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 2) | posted 43 minutes ago by David Yang (51 rep) | edited 25 minutes ago by David Yang (51 rep)

You don't have any right to "not be talked about by others". That's just a part of life. — sgroves 1 min ago

#9224 sgroves (101 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 2) | posted 43 minutes ago by David Yang (51 rep) | edited 25 minutes ago by David Yang (51 rep)

And BTW, you could catch disease from him. Someone who would take your water also might be the kind of clueless nitwit that uses the bathroom without washing his hands., Still, the bottom line is that he's taking something that doesn't belong to him. — Don Branson 6 secs ago

#9202 Don Branson (101 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not drink water from my bottle? (score: 19) | posted 12 hours ago by Peaceful (631 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by NVZ (8310 rep)

Please don't write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by now having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don't use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago

#9224 Arwen Undómiel (960 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 3) | posted 47 minutes ago by David Yang (56 rep) | edited 29 minutes ago by David Yang (56 rep)

@KRyan It's unclear whether the asker considers it to have been groping, though touching somebody's inner thigh usually is. My point was that requesting that somebody doesn't do something they shouldn't be doing anyway feels very much like an accusation that you think they're going to do that thing. So "please don't touch me unless medically necessary" is likely to be received as "I think you're going to touch me in ways you shouldn't touch me" which, in turn, has connotations of groping. — David Richerby 1 min ago

#9218 David Richerby (171 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 11) | posted 4 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5112 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5112 rep)

Smelly

9:08 PM

Note that there are insurance fraud issues where doctors claim an exam was given, but they may have only talked to the patient for a minute or less. I've had a doctor make a comment to me that they are required to have some physical contact in order to technically call it a exam or office visit, but I can't find any reference to corroborate that. — JPhi1618 54 secs ago

#9216 JPhi1618 (131 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 5) | posted 5 hours ago by GlinesMome (376 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Snow (7232 rep)

Please don’t write answers in comments. It bypasses our quality measures by not having voting (both up and down) available on comments, as well as having other problems detailed on meta. Comments are for clarifying and improving the question; please don’t use them for other purposes. — Arwen Undómiel 1 min ago

#9216 Arwen Undómiel (960 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 5) | posted 5 hours ago by GlinesMome (376 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Snow (7232 rep)

@OP I think it would be very useful if you could edit the portions of J...'s comment which are accurate for your culture into the question itself. I have seen some of your comments on answers which indicate that J... is correct, but I don't see enough to answer for all his statements. Such a clarification would be nice. Some clarification on 'water bottle' would also be nice. I think of 'water bottle' as a half-liter plastic bottle with a screw-on cap. You may mean something very different. — Jeutnarg 1 min ago

#9202 Jeutnarg (101 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not drink water from my bottle? (score: 20) | posted 13 hours ago by Peaceful (636 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by NVZ (8310 rep)

The second option you give -- "Well, now my day's bad, because someone is telling me to do something I don't want to" -- is basically what I'd say, so +1. — Nic Hartley 57 secs ago

#9104 Nic Hartley (101 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 61) | posted 3 days ago by doctordonna (785 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by doctordonna (785 rep)

Smelly

9:48 PM

@JPhi1618 I've had more than one medical visit that was billed at a high level and yet involved absolutely zero physical contact. These were specialists asking about my medical history in an effort to figure out if there was anything in their domain that was relevant. They were after purely historical stuff, no reason to get hands-on. — Loren Pechtel 1 min ago

#9216 Loren Pechtel (101 rep) | Q: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 6) | posted 6 hours ago by GlinesMome (381 rep) | edited 5 hours ago by Snow (7242 rep)

OP owes the gas station attendant nothing, nor has any obligation in helping him improve his game. The question was simply about her asking if there is a better way to deal with such situation. This blurb is not relevant to the question. — Adnan Y 17 secs ago

#9147 Adnan Y (416 rep) | A: Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger? (score: 27) | posted 56 hours ago by Hertz (399 rep) | edited 56 hours ago by Hertz (399 rep)

Smelly

10:08 PM

We don't really know what would give you peace of mind, and there could be many unrelated ways to achieve that. You should probably decide what you want to do, as @AndreiROM mentioned, and we can help you with that (although you can't exactly get her to stop gossiping about you, the most you can hope for is for her to do it outside of earshot). You should probably also think about whether there's a line between gossiping and just having an honest conversation with a family member about how things are going (although I'm personally not quite sure where that line is). — NotThatGuy 1 min ago

#9224 NotThatGuy (1844 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by David Yang (61 rep) | edited 1 hours ago by David Yang (61 rep)

@Mindwin - I have no problem with your feelings about that, at all. I'm merely disputing that someone, who went to the trouble of fighting in court, would feel like winning their case, even at cost, would be make little difference vs. losing, which is what "not much relief" says to me. As I said, "enough?" No. Do we need to keep them from having to go through that? Sure. Just quibbling over a smaller-picture characterization/detail. — PoloHoleSet 49 secs ago

#8996 PoloHoleSet (769 rep) | A: How to gently turn down a female coworker who asked for a sperm donation? (score: 83) | posted 6 days ago by baldPrussian (4431 rep)

(Just asking for some general advice to try to improve your relationship with her would probably be too broad) — NotThatGuy 45 secs ago

#9224 NotThatGuy (1844 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by David Yang (61 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by David Yang (61 rep)

Smelly

10:31 PM

You are much kinder than I. My immediate thought (after simply telling him not to do it) is to put salt water in the bottle and get a second secret one for myself. — Justin Ohms 1 min ago

#9202 Justin Ohms (227 rep) | Q: How to tell a colleague to not drink water from my bottle? (score: 21) | posted 14 hours ago by Peaceful (641 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by NVZ (8310 rep)

@DavidRicherby The medical value of a touch is not binary. There's not just two simple camps of "medically necessary" and "superfluous." There's a lot of grey regions in between, such as when a doctor checks one's thyroid even though they have no reason to believe the thyroid has a problem. Making it clear you want to limit contact to "medically necessary" makes it clear that you want resolve those grey areas. It's not a perfect command, because of the ambiguity of "medically necessary," but I expect any reasonable doctor to understand the intent of the request. — Cort Ammon 58 secs ago

#9218 Cort Ammon (2766 rep) | A: Avoiding unnecessary touches from doctors (score: 14) | posted 6 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5142 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by IamSoNotListening (5142 rep)

In a worst case scenario where you give up your seat, you've given it up to someone who doesn't need it. As long as you don't say why you're giving it up, no one should be able to dispute it. If they do, they're the ones being rude, not you. "Did you want this seat?" is a good question and leave it at that. A person with even a minimal amount of manners would say either "yes, thanks" or "no, thanks" and everyone will go on their merry way. — baldPrussian 30 secs ago

#9196 baldPrussian (4431 rep) | A: Not sure if have to give up priority seat as not sure if lady is pregnant or just plus sized (score: 4) | posted 20 hours ago by A.fm. (264 rep)

Smelly

11:27 PM

Can you tell us if there is shared living space other than the kitchen and bathroom? Whether or not you become best friends, having amicable living arrangements is ideal. As someone who has lived in similar situations I potentially foresee public space cleaning issues, inviting guests, etc. My other thought to is that she seemed to have expected you to start the conversation/intro when she is just as capable of saying hello. — doctordonna 15 secs ago

#9224 doctordonna (785 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 6) | posted 3 hours ago by David Yang (71 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by David Yang (71 rep)

I think that the problem with this is that there's a difference between the etiquette and the legal concerns. Most artists will have disclaimers on their site (or should) that explain whether their work can be reposted or not. This wins out over anything else. — Catija ♦ 34 secs ago

#9227 Catija (8621 rep) | Q: What's the etiquette for posting a webcomic on your site? (score: -1) | posted 48 minutes ago by Fodder (1235 rep)

Moving forward with that, I would recommend talking about choosing redirected and guests. — doctordonna 1 min ago

#9224 doctordonna (785 rep) | Q: How to deal with a suitmate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in? (score: 6) | posted 3 hours ago by David Yang (71 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by David Yang (71 rep)

Transcript for