hey @Tinkeringbell. I've just edited all of my answers in the way that you've suggested (hopefully accurately). I don't quite understand why I must legitimize my answers with my personal experience: If I know a situation well enough, why must I prove it through a story that I could have simply fabricated for the purpose of satisfying the criteria? What are you vetting for with the criteria of a fleshed-out, relatable story?
@CoachDavidAdes Well, first of all I hope you're not fabricating stories! Did you find some time to read the blog post I linked? It summarizes most of what we're vetting for, and it has this picture that says more than a thousand words:
We are vetting for that 'expertise' with these criteria: If you can tell us what you did, when you did it, who you did it with, what the results were ... that makes you an 'expert' in handling a certain situation. The blog post also mentions that opinions can quickly drown out expertise, and we've certainly seen that in the past on this site.
We've mainly seen opinions drowning out expertise when it came to e.g. issues that involve certain (sub)cultures. Everyone has an opinion on most things, ideas about how things "should be done". But without expertise, your advice might only make things worse or be non-applicable to the situation.
Here's a good quote from a previous chat conversation on the topic of 'culture' and 'answering with an opinion on how things should be':
If you're giving a woman advice that's gonna get her killed in her culture because you think she should be able to act a certain way.... I'd say that's a bad move.
There's another point that makes sharing this experience very important: People sometimes come here with questions to which you really, really want to answer 'Don't be stupid, don't do that!'. Those kinds of answers have sparked many a long meta discussion, but in the end there are two things to keep in mind:
1. Respect the premise of a question. If someone is asking for the best way to let A know B cheated on them, answer that question! Assume this person has already thought long and hard about this, and has decided this needs to be done. They're not here asking whether they should do this, so they're not interested in your opinion on whether they should.
2. We do hold questions to standards too. If the question is only presenting a paradox, it's better to close it and request more clarification than to answer it with an opinion. Questions asking 'how do I do this known rude thing politely' are encouraged to include why this rude thing needs to happen, so we can answer accordingly.
If you want to, you can read a bit more about my thoughts on that in this meta answer, particularly the second to last section about putting hands on hot stoves.
@CoachDavidAdes Note also you can back something with external knowledge such as quotes from legitimate sources: wikihow, wikipedia, psychology articles... the requirement is to make clear why you believe a claim is true when you make a claim even though it might not be "the truth".
^ Add articles found through Google Scholar to that as well :) We don't have strict requirements on 'reputable sources', but a random blog post is less to be trusted than google scholar/wikihow/wikipedia :)
Yep. Another pro-tip: If you do link to wikihow/wikipedia, make sure to check the links for the claims there too, sometimes you can link directly to the source :D
Whenever I try to talk to someone, I always hesitate at the last minute because of my mindset, which is like this:
I don't know the thoughts of someone I talk to, and I don't know whether the things I say hurts them, makes them happy, or whatsoever.
This also applies whenever I try to extend a ...
I can imagine the kinds of trouble you might run into while moderating an "interpersonal skills" forum. It's probably better to avoid the kind of gobbledy gook you would receive if there were no emphasis on "expertise". I've just read the blog post. It clarifies the topic. I look forward to continuing to answer questions to the best of my knowledge, and I hope that you will correct me if I make any mistakes.
Whenever I try to talk to someone, I always hesitate at the last minute because of my mindset, which is like this:
I don't know the thoughts of someone I talk to, and I don't know whether the things I say hurts them, makes them happy, or whatsoever.
This also applies whenever I try to extend a ...
