The Awkward Silence

7:54 AM

0

Q: Landlord asked roommate to move things around in my bedroom for photographs. Now he's made at me

I live in a shared accommodation. I share 2 floors with 2 other people. As it happens, both of them are from India. One I get a long with quite well. Call him Bob. The landlord hired cleaners to come clean the place so that a professional photographer could take pictures of it. The cleaners clea...

JAD

8:25 AM

@M.A.R. are you sure it isn't a CAT scan?

CaldeiraG

@avazula :(

Morning!

avazula

@CaldeiraG I wouldn't want to miss a car payment ... too scary :p

CaldeiraG

:p

Tinkeringbell

9:10 AM

Me today:

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I politely explain that I don't want corrections on a Chinese short story I wrote and want to share?

I wrote a short story in Chinese, which is a language I'm learning. I want to share it with my friends (here in China, on Chinese.SE, and on Facebook) for people to enjoy (and hopefully inspire me to write more). However, I fear what will happen if I do so: some native Chinese speakers will go ...

friends conversations china

so cute :v

Morning

Is it totally inappropriate to reply to phishing e-mails about nearly dead widows that will leave you huge amounts of money with 'please die soon'?

M.A.R.

9:36 AM

@Tinkeringbell Meh, I'll go with "sorry, I'm an old fart, and I can't trust online transactions of money". If they insist, and are asking for, what, 10 bucks of "transfer fee", I'd ask for 5 bucks of insurance

Tinkeringbell

@M.A.R. I went with "This is awesome news. Please die soon!" from a garbage e-mail account XD Now we'll wait and see :P

M.A.R.

@Tinkeringbell well, if they are any professional spammer, they won't respond.

Some of the newbies respond though, that'd be funny to read

Tinkeringbell

We'll see.

M.A.R.

@JAD I thought of that pun but it was so terrible I didn't want to induce any shocks to the good folk here

20

Q: Does Chess ELO correlate with IQ?

Does the chess ELO rating of players (who have trained/played approximately the same amount of time) correlate positively with IQ? A usual claim is 'IQ and chess ELO ratings don't correlate', a view widespread in chess circles. However, I have never seen any actual study of it. Interestingly, so...

psychology intelligence chess

The "not" is not surprising, but negative correlation?

Mithical

A sample size of 23 isn't very conclusive.

M.A.R.

9:44 AM

Yeah. Shrug

Studies are worth scrap, unless they end up being about molecules or mathematical laws.

I read a while ago that in fields like sports and psychology, it has become a tendency to find sneaky ways of increasing P values and making what isn't so important a finding sound important

It was more of a plea for sanity, so it implied that's what's going on, and well, I wouldn't be surprised

Belle

Nice, I broke the ASP.NET engine

Don't even know how

Now I know how. I thought I was dealing with a short that I was casting to int. Seems I'm dealing with an Int16. Deeeeeeerp.

Don't cast and unbox at the same time, folks :P

JAD

10:03 AM

@M.A.R. I have no such qualms

M.A.R.

I want a qualm. It sound delicious

JAD

> 3. : a sudden attack of illness, faintness, or nausea

hmm, yummy

M.A.R.

Well, peaches do the same thing

After the twenty second peach, for sure, but still

avazula

yay, you're back with @M.A.R.!

M.A.R.

✌

Ælis

10:23 AM

@avazula Oh, you brought your old ava' back!

avazula

@Ælis was it this one exactly? I don't remember :p but yes, I'm back to being Bean :D

I wish I could have silver hair :|

But I'm afraid my brows are too dark for that

Ælis

@avazula Yeah, you had this exact one for a long time

@avazula Just wait 50 years or so, I'm sure you'll get them :p

avazula

Heh. I recall the beautiful one @Mith had found for me but not this one in particular :)

By the way I was wondering: there's a pint on that drawing, and I was wondering if I should choose another one because that inspires alcohol consumption and don't know if that's insensitive towards users that may have an issue with the view of alcohol :/

Watcha think?

Ælis

@avazula There: chat.stackexchange.com/transcript/61165?m=50221936#50221936

And here if you want to see most of your old ava: chat.stackexchange.com/…

avazula

@Ælis Lol. I cropped more of the pint than the other time then :p

Ælis

10:30 AM

It seems like it, yeah ^^

JAD

@avazula well, given that the character is an alcoholist, can't the same be said of the entire avatar?

avazula

@JAD ... true. But this only the viewers of the show are aware of, so I guess they already knew?

Ælis

@avazula Maybe it's not alcohol but the blood of your enemies :p (seriously though, I have no idea)

avazula

@Ælis To heck with veganism! I know eat my enemies :D

JAD

@avazula wouldn't only viewers know there'd be alcohol in there?

avazula

10:33 AM

Fun fact: cannibalism drives you crazy and you might laugh your way to death because of it

@JAD I guess a pint is a rather universal symbol of beer consumption ... ?

Ælis

@JAD I believe there is a major difference between indirect reference of alcohol (seeing someone that is alcoholist) and a more direct reference (seeing a pint)

avazula

^

JAD

:shrugs: it feels a bit like searching for things to be offended about to me

avazula

I might be overthinking this. If someone tells me it bothers them I'll change :)

JAD

are cat avatars insensitive to people with cat allergies?

Ælis

10:36 AM

@JAD I don't think it's not about "being offended". It's more about not triggering people who may have a complicated past with alcohol

avazula

I ... didn't want to start a debate. I've had major issues with alcoholism in my family, so I'm a bit more careful about it now.

JAD

@Ælis well, it's a 20x20 pixel image in most places. Gotta squint pretty hard to make out the pint

avazula

Basically my whole family is alcoholic and I know how even the mention of it might trigger terrible memories in people

In other news: I'm on vacation tomorrow! :D

I'm going to beautiful London for the weekend!

Ælis

@JAD Anyway, I don't think any of us is qualify to answer ava's question, so it's probably better to leave it at that ^^

@avazula Yay for you! \o/ Is this a three days vacation?

avazula

@Ælis Three days weekend, 1-day vaca :)

Ælis

10:40 AM

Yeah, sorry, that's what I meant ^^

avazula

I need to save PTO for signing my mortgage and moving in my new house

Ælis

PTO?

You mean, paid day off?

avazula

yup

Paid Time something

JAD

paid time off

Ælis

@avazula In any case, good luck with that. Moving house is really exhausting (but your new one is 10 minutes away I believe? So it might be a little bit easier)

avazula

10:45 AM

@Ælis 5 :D

JAD

are there lots of renovations that need to be done?

avazula

Not really. Some painting and I'll have to change the kitchen pretty early on

Most of my work this year will be in the garden 8)

First purchase: 800L water tank!

JAD

:O

avazula

Veggies need their juice

I'm gonna put raspberries and redcurrant trees as well :)

slowly realizing that's not a house I need

Belle

11:14 AM

@avazula wowhead.com/item=153601/goats-milk-in-a-skull-mug :)

One of my favourite WoW items

avazula

hahaha

dhein

Hey everyone :)

Belle

12:17 PM

Hi @dhein

dhein

12:27 PM

@Ælis: You wanted an update on my meta post. Here it is: I am just pissed off. And I won't further follow it myself. Most recent comments are just nit picking on "I shouldn't be set up due to minute semantics" and "I can't take offense, cause thats simply the understanding of autism that was given back then". -.-

Ælis

12:40 PM

@dhein :/ And the "[you] can't take offense" is really "funny". People have no right to decide what you should take offense on or not. And the fact that it was "in the past" isn't relevant at all. In the past, people used plenty of bad words to talk about the LGBT+ community or about black people. And yet, using those words today is definitively not appropriate

Belle

Some people really seem to want a right to offend.

Tinkeringbell

1:02 PM

I've just read the post... Seems to me like a case of 'your offense isn't worse than my offense' :/

dhein

1:13 PM

Yeah. I dunno... But I simply won't engage further into this... if thats their stance on it. So may it be.

Tinkeringbell

Offense is a weird thing. Because as soon as you say you're offended, you're also saying someone or something offended you. People often take it personal, meaning that they hear someone say "you offended me"...

CaldeiraG

Helloo, it's me

Tinkeringbell

And politeness theory says politeness requires leaving someone room to save face, and a statement like that doesn't leave that room.... So people get offended for being told they offended someone else like that..

And that's how trolls play ;)

@CaldeiraG helloooo from the ooooother siiiihiiide!

dhein

Well, I usually say in doubt "something makes me feel offended". So I did here. I just started saying that I feel offended by a specific action, the moment people started insisting on me not having to feel offended. Cause thats actually what offended me.

CaldeiraG

@Tinkeringbell I must've called a thousand times :p

https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/24234/what-should-i-take-into-consideration-when-resuming-conversations-online-after-a

I like this question, i'm in the same situation but it's an offline relationship :p (and I *might* have ghosted them)

Tinkeringbell

1:19 PM

@dhein not everyone plays semantics like that. If you say something makes you feel offended, to many people that's the same as saying you're offended by them/something they did

dhein

I agree

Tinkeringbell

It's one of those things where neurotypical people overparse the hidden meaning, I guess

dhein

I can't really get why, but I know thats how it is.

Anyways, I am going to the gym now. Have a nice day everyone. :)

CaldeiraG

@dhein Have a good workout :) i did mine yesterday

Belle

@dhein Have fun!

avazula

1:22 PM

@CaldeiraG I do mine tonight ^ and also did yesterday haha

I workout a lot because it prevents me from going crazy :|

CaldeiraG

@avazula cool :) 3 times per week is enough for me :P

avazula

@CaldeiraG I'm at 4 in average, that's not much more :p

M.A.R.

@Ælis It's cranberry juice

Belle

I'm fed up with this offense ping-pong.

M.A.R.

That sounds . . . fun, TBH

But badminton, I can't play badminton

I can't play ping pong well either, but it's easier to pretend.

And balls are cute.

Spheres are the simplest manifestation of cute. Newton's fifth law

> Sir Isaac Newton didn't write ANY laws on Physics. He wrote THREE laws on Motion.

quora.com/What-is-Newton%E2%80%99s-5th-law-of-physics

Thank you Quora.

Belle

1:29 PM

Haha

M.A.R.

@Tinkeringbell Are you sowwwwry?

@Ælis I keep trying to find this meta post

Belle

M.A.R.

IF I DON'T, THEY'LL FIND ME

Belle

Ælis

7

Q: Perceived offense for affected people in this autism related answer. Let's resolve it

I am seeking with this meta post for help with this answer to "First account of autism in speculative fiction" specifically the last sentence being problematic. The problem with the answer is, it made me and some other autists feel offended by the way it was being phrased. especially the last sen...

discussion specific-answer

M.A.R.

1:35 PM

SFF meta

Owwwwkay.

Belle

Let's just please refrain from editing the mentions of severity out of this answer now too. — TARS says Reinstate Monica 9 mins ago

Siiiiiiighhhh

Ælis

@Belle Very true. Thank you for posting those

M.A.R.

@Belle Well, in a way, humor is supposed to be offensive. Not the "harmful" sense of offensive, just, sort of, pointing a lance in some direction. If that direction is an individual, it hurts badly. When it's a group of people, it hurts enough.

Ælis

@Belle Yup, same here...

M.A.R.

One main purpose is to poke at the boundaries of "normal conversation". It's supposed to be somethinger, siller, more aggressive, etc.

In jokes, it mostly becomes a red herring. "I saw an X man saying Y and doing Z" wouldn't usually hurt X people, but "I saw an X" does

It's not about it being funny, it's about being uninformed about a group so as to think they all are so alike

And being ignorant about this lack of information. It's not me who needs to fix myself, it's them. They have this odd trait.

Honestly, I can't ever expect people to ever truly reach that realization, neither will I about some group or another.

Being uninformed shouldn't be the problem, being ignorant about being uninformed should be.

Belle

1:44 PM

I think the comic makes the distinction between those two types of "offense", especially in the 4th panel.

I've also heard the phrase "kick up, not down". Don't make fun of groups that are less privileged than your own.

M.A.R.

@Belle eh, I dunno

I think it will incite conversation nonetheless

Good people read the signs when they make a joke like that and someone walks away. Normal people (or bad) don't. Saying it is redundant in the first, and the second will argue to their death.

Belle

@M.A.R. It seems to suggest that jokes about cat people are not harmful.

Ugh, why did my comment get deleted? And only mine?

Arthur Havlicek

@Belle What leaves me with odd feeling is that this type of comics kind of miss the target of educating people they aim to. The "average offender" is portrayed as careless and rude. But typically careless and rude people don't read comics that portray them as such.

M.A.R.

@Belle Oh, 4th panel, my bad

@ArthurHavlicek Exactamundo

I guess normal people would be careless and rude without knowing it, but when they're just a . . . plot device for the story, side characters making side remarks, they're likely not to see you on their side, to call you biased, and to roll their eyes.

Bloody English is so difficult.

Almost no one is like "do tell me if I'm being rude", even if they say it

Belle

Why the actual F did they remove my comment?

M.A.R.

1:56 PM

@Belle ??

Oh, the meta answer

I'm not all that in on the issue; is the last sentence really necessary in the answer?

Belle

2:10 PM

I’m done

Ælis

@Belle :/ But yeah, it's probably better to drop it

M.A.R.

SFF is a difficult community a bit.

A large bit.

But

They're not too wrong, they're being insensitive, and now it has obviously entered the realm of stubbornness.

Set a reminder, come back two weeks later and edit the answer shrug

The whole thing makes my head hurt.

Figuratively, but no less painful

Ælis

@M.A.R. The answer is already edit in a good form, so no need to do anything ;)

M.A.R.

Big shrug

Extroverted Main Man

3:30 PM

-1

Q: Talk to her or forget about it?

I have known her for a couple of years be we rarely meet. Recently I had the chance to do be at the work as her for a couple of hours, we talked for quite a while and then I asked her out. She agreed, we went on two dates and she seemed very into it, she gave me almost every possible sign. After ...

relationships

Extroverted Main Man

3:48 PM

0

Q: Dealing with mild verbal violence in debates

I usually try to live by and follow NVC principles in my interactions with others. I don't always express myself following a "Observation / Feeling / Need / Request" pattern but I do follow a few values of NVC: absence of judgement, trying to fulfill equally my and my interlocutor need etc. Ther...

arguments

Arthur Havlicek

4:04 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan mu downvotes :| i forgot the sandbox tho i should have used that

Tinkeringbell

4:19 PM

@ArthurHavlicek you can delete this one, sandbox, then edit/undelete

Arthur Havlicek

will do. thanks

M.A.R.

Needs a bit of shaving

But not an IPS person, so I'd leave it to the sandboxers

That sounds like a rock band from the 80s.

Sandman

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

How to deal with mild violence in debates? I usually try to live by and follow NVC principles in my interactions with others. I don't always express myself following a "Observation / Feeling / Need / Request" pattern but I do follow a few values of NVC: absence of judgement, trying to fulfill eq...

M.A.R.

@Sandman Cat hiss

scohe001

4:36 PM

@M.A.R. ooh their first album cover could be a big dog on the beach covered in sand

Arthur Havlicek

Sorry bad joke. I'm not very good at that.

M.A.R.

Ugh, missed it :(

@ArthurHavlicek That doesn't seem to stop @Mith

Arthur Havlicek

I'm a fan of the fan joke.

@scohe001 the sandbox says "answers with graduated question will be deleted" so if someone upvoted it means i should post it ? Or ?

scohe001

@ArthurHavlicek once you post it on the main site you should delete it. Usually I like to leave my questions in the Sandbox for 3-5 days just so everyone has a chance to see it and give feedback

Arthur Havlicek

Ok, thanks

Sandbox (band)

Sandbox was a Canadian alternative rock band active in the 1990s. The band consisted of Paul Murray on lead vocals, Mike Smith and Jason Archibald on guitar, Scott MacFarlane on bass and Troy Shanks on drums. == Formation == Sandbox was formed by Mike Smith in New Glasgow in 1992, originally as a cover band named Sandbox Legacy. Lead singer Paul Murray is the nephew of singer Anne Murray.The band debuted with the 1993 indie EP, Maskman. == Canadian chart success == Their debut album Bionic was released in 1995. The album spawned their most well known singles, "Curious" and "Collide". "Curious"...

Rainbacon

6:18 PM

oh hey @avazula, you're back to your old avatar!

Extroverted Main Man

7:55 PM

0

Q: How to deal with mild verbal aggressiveness in debates?

I usually try to live by and follow non-violent communication (NVC) principles in my interactions with others. I don't always express myself following a "Observation / Feeling / Need / Request" pattern, but I do follow a few values of NVC: absence of judgement, trying to fulfill equally my and my...

arguments non-violent-communication

Extroverted Main Man

8:14 PM

0

Q: How to tell friends I am looking to move away?

I am 24, I have been in my job since graduating, and while I am well settled, I don't want to live here for the rest of my life and so I am looking for a job abroad. I have a group of friends that I get on well with, but they are all well settled in the area. I have kept my job search secret from...

friends conversations awkward-situations friend-groups jobs

Arthur Havlicek

I posted a bit early because i'm really looking forward answers.

Ælis

9:27 PM

An OP update with what technique they used after all: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/24166/21067

Arthur Havlicek

nice

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: Landlord is trying to do something entireley illegal by selling the house and only giving a months notice. How to reply before going to court?

I live in a shared home, though I have my own lease. It simply is not up yet. I have several more months to live in the home. The landlord asked to have an in person meeting with me. He quickly said he's giving me one months notice and that he will be selling the house fast. This is entirely ille...

conflicts money landlord

Ælis

@ExtrovertedMainMan Why deleting it like that? Is it because of the lawyeri advices asking?

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Check the user account ;)

I don't think I'm allowed to say more :)

Ælis

Oh right, thanks for the explaination :)

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