While I agree with your general sentiment that most atheists will understand it was intended positively, it can still put the other person in an awkward position of how to respond at a time when they are emotionally vulnerable. If a gesture intended as comforting may equally likely be uncomfortable, then maybe that isn't the best way to try and comfort someone. — Barker 2 mins ago
12:58 AM
#23539 Barker (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 9) | posted 9 hours ago by FBiggio (91 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
DItto on @ZachLipton's comment. Also I would want to ask, why you feel it is important to tell the other person you are praying for them? Personally, I understand that praying is a way religious people express concern and don't mind it them praying for me, but telling me about it creates an awkward situation for me. If you goal is to be comforting, why not pray and then just say something that might actually be comforting for them like "You're in my thoughts". — Barker 1 min ago
#23536 Barker (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 13) | posted 10 hours ago by baldPrussian (26359 rep) | edited 8 hours ago by baldPrussian (26359 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
While I agree that just about any atheist will acknowledge positive intent in being told the person is praying for them, it still can put them in an awkward position of how to respond. If the intent is to comfort the other person, why do you need to tell the other person you are praying? Go ahead and pray, but talk to them in a way that might actually be comforting ("You're in my thoughts") rather than potentially making them uncomfortable when they are already having a hard time. — Barker 1 min ago
#23534 Barker (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 41) | posted 12 hours ago by Martijn (4382 rep) | edited 3 hours ago by Glorfindel (353 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
1:30 AM
Most of this answer is well-put, but the characterization at the end is off-putting to me and warrants a downvote. You are basically saying that only atheists who feel the same way as you about this are reasonable and to think otherwise is "extreme". — AGirlHasNoName 9 secs ago
#23534 AGirlHasNoName (1115 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 41) | posted 12 hours ago by Martijn (4390 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Glorfindel (353 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
"that (very small) assault" It's really hard to take it seriously when serious matters (assault, physical violence) are so frivolously intertwined with such nothings. The term really needs to die. OP might be in the wrong, but I don't think he'll take you seriously if you tell him he's committing a "microaggression". I would be surprised if he bothered to read past the first sentence. — Alexander 1 min ago
#23548 Alexander (131 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 4) | posted 2 hours ago by Daniel R. Collins (141 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
Marked this comment as flaggable (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
#23532 Alexander (131 rep) | Q: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 12) | posted 12 hours ago by luchonacho (2743 rep) | edited 4 hours ago by Em C (12187 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
2 hours later…
3:16 AM
I had always understood "can I ask you a favor" as a rhetorical technique to encourage the person towards your beliefs, or get their attention for follow up conversations, by putting them on the spot. So I agree that it carries a risk of offense. Of course, each person will take things differently. — Dan Getz 1 min ago
#23536 Dan Getz (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 15) | posted 12 hours ago by baldPrussian (26379 rep) | edited 11 hours ago by baldPrussian (26379 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
2 hours later…
4 hours later…
9:13 AM
I think your answer is more fitting in the case of praying for someone with another religion rather than for an atheist. If someone with another god prays for you it can be seen as a "battle" for which God is right/better/stronger, but an atheist doesn't care about that because he/she simply doesn't believe in it. As an atheist myself I would feel honored if someone says he prays for me because it shows that the person cares for me even if we have different world views. If someone asked if he could pray for me it feels more condescending, even if it is meant nicely. — GittingGud 3 mins ago
#23536 GittingGud (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 14) | posted 18 hours ago by baldPrussian (26377 rep) | edited 17 hours ago by baldPrussian (26377 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
3 hours later…
11:53 AM
"This may sound somewhat creepy" How so? Doesn't sound creepy at all. Anyways, please ask a good friend for help. We are not here to make your life's decisions for you, but this sounds like you have real issues in your life and spouse. For example, you come across as a low self-esteem beta male and you've described your wife like an evil witch. I don't think that this is the complete picture, but we only have your text to go by. You need someone who knows both of you in person. This SE is for helping you with specific interpersonal situations, not with turning your life around. — Raditz_35 1 min ago
#23545 Raditz_35 (259 rep) | Q: How to stop needing to lie to my wife? (score: 0) | posted 14 hours ago by Anon Loves Mrs (11 rep) | edited 14 hours ago by Em C (12182 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
1:15 PM
I hope more people scroll down to this answer and upvote it. I didn't know that it's explicitly forbidden by the religion. This provides a nice easy clear-cut answer and doesn't depend on the workmate being a particular type of atheist. — Aaron F 2 mins ago
#23556 Aaron F (996 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 3) | posted 3 hours ago by nick012000 (194 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
2:04 PM
calling it uptight is making it worse. How about you don't make value judgments on the atheists who don't view it the same way as you? Your view is valid and appreciated. So should be the view of atheists who disagree with you. (Of which I am one) — AGirlHasNoName 20 secs ago
#23534 AGirlHasNoName (1115 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 74) | posted 25 hours ago by Martijn (4536 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Martijn (4536 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
3:15 PM
As an atheist I would take this approach as much worse than the original "I'll keep you in my prayers". For my perspective praying is just thinking, so I won't be offended by someone thinking about me in a hard time, with our without my knowledge. What I find uncomfortable is creating a social situation where I am interacting with your religion when I don't want to and am emotionally upset. The original version is somewhat uncomfortable but can be brushed off, this full on forces me to engage in a conversation I don't want. — Barker 2 mins ago
#23536 Barker (189 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 18) | posted 24 hours ago by baldPrussian (26425 rep) | edited 23 hours ago by baldPrussian (26425 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
2 hours later…
5:40 PM
"Tragedies override joyful events" says who? Wikipedia certainly doesn't. People should be sad when their grandma dies. They should be happy when it's their birthday. The question is about what happens when both happen together. — gnasher729 33 secs ago
#22353 gnasher729 (6031 rep) | A: Etiquette when someone’s birthday is on the same day as the funeral of one of their loved ones (score: 1) | posted 136 days ago by Elmy (5274 rep) | edited 136 days ago by Elmy (5274 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
1 hour later…
6:42 PM
This is a really good answer. Arguably, it's the only answer here. The other attempts at answering the question are trying to critic the OP intentions. While this answer actually offers a solution which the OP is looking for. — grovkin 46 secs ago
#23550 grovkin (101 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 7) | posted 18 hours ago by user1169420 (187 rep) | edited 16 hours ago by user1169420 (187 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
7:33 PM
As I said, I want to let the other person know that I am empathic to his situation, as a comfort/support to him. I just cant see why, in principle, I would need to lie and let the other person know a secular version of what I'm doing. In fact, from a mere probabilistic perspective, if there is a God that listen to prayers and act upon them, my claim is by definition more helpful than keeping someone in "our thoughts", a truly void expression. — luchonacho 2 mins ago
#23551 luchonacho (2891 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 12) | posted 18 hours ago by Barker (219 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
It's a truly contorted (and bluntly incorrect) thought to equate a Christian offering prayers with someone effectively saying "I explicitly don't care about your beliefs and reject them them as wrong-headed and faulty. I am using this moment of difficulty, loss, and vulnerability as an opportunity to remind you of that". That is in no way the intention behind it. We are free individuals and can act and positions ourselves with no shame about it. This doesn't mean to not care about others' beliefs. What is of democracy if people cannot say anything to another which they don;t agree upon. — luchonacho 2 mins ago
#23548 luchonacho (2901 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 9) | posted 20 hours ago by Daniel R. Collins (223 rep) | edited 2 hours ago by Daniel R. Collins (223 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
3 hours later…
10:25 PM
"If you can't find a reason it benefits the other person to tell them in this difficult time" I can. I care and offer support in a way (not necessarily the only or exclusive way) I think it is relevant, even if we might disagree. I just want to know how to put it to minimise misunderstandings and an unecessary offense, without need to deny myself. — luchonacho 51 secs ago
#23551 luchonacho (2921 rep) | A: How can I offer my prayers for an atheist? (score: 14) | posted 21 hours ago by Barker (239 rep) | Toxicity 0.0 | tps/fps: 0/0
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