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Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
12:19 AM
0
Q: How to extract myself from constant giving?

BoodriOnce I’ve paid rent, bills, petrol, food etc I have a relatively small amount of money left over each month. I would get by just fine on this, if it wasn’t for spending the money on other people. A lot of my family/friends are in a similar or worse financial situation than me. I’ve got into a ba...

friends money
 
 
3 hours later…
scohe001
scohe001
3:36 AM
I'm about to crash, but can someone with a light touch give me a hand responding here: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3807/…
I'm waaaay too tired atm to give a proper response. And they seem a lot nicer and willing to listen to reason than what I usually see on meta in general, so I want them to have a good response.
Anyways, happy end of the weekend!
 
 
2 hours later…
JAD
JAD
6:01 AM
@scohe001 I added some more background about how this policy came to be. hopefully that helps them recognise that it's not something IPS decided for the heck of it
 
 
1 hour later…
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
7:23 AM
0
Q: Learn to be more empathetic and helpful towards friends?

SuimonLately I've noticed that, when talking with friends about their problems, for example, or what's keeping them up at night, I can't really feel nor imagine how they must feel in these kind of situations we are talking about. Neither do I know what to say and do to comfort them as much as I would l...

friends helping empathy
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
8:04 AM
0
Q: What do you say between recruiter talks in an interview?

ALHI've had many interviews for recruitment and the problem I have is that I don't really have an idea about what to say when someone explains about their country and about the company and then the position their looking for. Is it inappropriate to just be silent for the whole part of the explanatio...

verbal-communication
 
avazula
avazula
we seem to have a wave of off topic questions these days :/
 
CaldeiraG
CaldeiraG
@avazula I noticed that :/
Morning o/
 
avazula
avazula
@CaldeiraG Morning :)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Good morning!
@avazula We need to come up with a few good ones ourselves, so we can set a great example :)
 
avazula
avazula
8:35 AM
@Tinkeringbell more work to do? Argh!!
:p
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Yeah, it's hard. I don't really have many questions that'll make good ones. I tried making one about the dynamics between me and mom now that I'm getting an apartment, but it's not working out yet.
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Heh, I'd say September but not sure sociology majors use computers
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@M.A.R. Stack Overflow overflow, perhaps.
 
 
1 hour later…
dhein
dhein
10:16 AM
Hey ho :)
 
CaldeiraG
CaldeiraG
Hai :)
 
dhein
dhein
10:43 AM
interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/22949/32 is anyone contesting my view that this OP is intrapersonal rather than interpersonal?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@dhein Could use an edit, the title seems intra... but the body question of how to convey this to people around them might be good?
 
dhein
dhein
@Tinkeringbell At first glance, I thought so too, but then I realized at a second read, that at no point OP mentions they ever tried to communicate their considerations, but only mention how they are thinking and perceiving what others might think/want/try. So they are not saying at any point it was an outcome they had by actually trying to reduce this behavior of them.
And with that in mind also the final paragraph reads more like they are asking for assistance to overcome the hrudle to say "no" rather than looking for the answer "Say just no". But as said, I might be wrong on that.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
10:59 AM
@dhein Yeah, I've asked for a bit more clarification on that part in my comment :)
 
dhein
dhein
Proactivity x)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@dhein Not really :P It was prompted by our message here, so thank you!
 
dhein
dhein
Nah I mean, proactive to assume there intend was on-topic, editing it, and offering them to roll back if you assumed their itnend wrong, rather (as I did) assuming their intend being off-topic and only asking if they can "proof" I am wrong :P
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
Oh... yeah, an edit is often more likely to engage someone than a close vote :P
 
dhein
dhein
Yeah... but I am not so good in that I must admit. >.<
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
11:05 AM
That's okay! Close votes are always still miles better than doing nothing :D
And you dropped in here, which is also good.
 
scohe001
scohe001
11:48 AM
@JAD thank you!! I think you spelled it out really well
 
JAD
JAD
@scohe001 you're welcome :)
 
 
1 hour later…
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
1:16 PM
Good time of day to you various avatars!
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
*opossum in trashcan screaming picture*
 
JAD
JAD
@Rainbacon the notion of time of day is immaterial to my avatar
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@JAD Then good existence to you? Or does your avatar also not care about existing?
 
JAD
JAD
@Rainbacon Mostly about creating
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
1:44 PM
I'm feeling good. So far my team has two items in the done column of our Jira board, both are mine :)
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
@Rainbacon Lol, that reminds me of the time where I happened to fix a bunch of bugs during one release cycle so I ended up with something like 5/15 tickets for the release being mine. :P
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
We're just getting started with the project, and I have the most experience on the team with starting projects, I'm fairly certain that's why I got out of the gate the fastest
Now if I can just convince the client to re-write everything in Haskell, I'll be the only one who can ever close a story
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
Job security!
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
If I've learned anything in 4 years as a consultant, it's that the best way to secure your job is to force tooling that nobody else understands. For example, my first client had a DBA who managed to work his way up to architect, and then mandated that all business logic be implemented in stored procedures on the db
 
JAD
JAD
2:21 PM
lol
that's horrible
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
You laugh, but I had to write a sql query that computed a value that the UI used to show or hide elements
 
JAD
JAD
I don't have much against sql queries
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Also, that guy threw a fit when we tried to introduce an ORM
 
JAD
JAD
it's just that it's maybe not the easiest format to do stuff like source control, testing, etc
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Have you ever read from or written to a file in sql? It's...weird
 
scohe001
scohe001
2:24 PM
.....
That actually sounds disgusting
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
It is. I maintain that it shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is.
 
scohe001
scohe001
How is that not ridiculously slow in production though?
I'm kind of morbidly fascinated
 
JAD
JAD
similar to the notion that you can check primality of a number using a regex
 
Em C
Em C
@JAD oh I saw a great tweet along those lines this morning..
dang, no onebox
 
JAD
JAD
D:
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
2:35 PM
Twitter oneboxing has been broken quite some time now.
Images still onebox though, as do questions/comments/answers ;)
 
Em C
Em C
@JAD :D
I think the most language-inappropriate thing I've done so far is socket programming in Prolog
 
El'endia Starman
El'endia Starman
2:46 PM
@EmC Why does Prolog even have that ability??
 
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
I have no idea what any of this is about me, but I'll suggest black magic anyway.
2
 
Em C
Em C
@El'endiaStarman so it can talk to a C library via a Ruby interface, of course :P
@Mithrandir yeah, that's about right
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@EmC That's why you should use Haskell. It has a foreign function interface so you can talk to your c library directly instead of through Ruby!
 
Em C
Em C
@Rainbacon ooh neat.. I should learn Haskell, functional programming is fun
(the prolog stuff was for a grad school research project - not my choice)
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
3:15 PM
I love FP, I just wish I had more luck finding jobs that value it
But I do highly recommend Haskell
I feel like I'm better at programming in other languages because of what I've learned from Haskell
 
 
2 hours later…
Mithrandir
Mithrandir
5:28 PM
@Mithrandir ...I have no idea how that "me" snuck in there. I must be more tired than I thought.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@Mithrandir I didn't even notice the "me" until you pointed it out
 
 
1 hour later…
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
6:39 PM
@IPSCommentBot Okay, I see plus-one is not allowed on this site. Could you please restore my comment without that? TIA.
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@MikeWaters Answering in the comments is also not allowed here. That is what the rest of your comment is without the +1
 
scohe001
scohe001
Looks like a comment on an answer @Rain
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
@MikeWaters I think Eeps gets way too many personal experiences as comments and that's why they can't keep them around unless they're answers
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@Rainbacon Thanks, but aren't comments for suggesting improvements to answers? That is what I intended. But I respect this.
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Doesn't need all that metalinguistic cognition whether it's a comment or an answer or a comment–answer or one of those scary babies in Alien
I want ham.
 
scohe001
scohe001
6:44 PM
@MikeWaters they are, but (not meaning to be rude here), what is the suggested improvement in your comment? Are you suggesting OP add that labeled containers are in cars to their answer?
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@MikeWaters Yes, and I would echo schohe's sentiment that it is unclear what improvement you are suggesting.
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
I'm a moderator on hamSE. Looks like I can learn helpful tips here. :-)
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Haaaaam daydreams burgers
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@scohe001 Yes. I couldn't figure out a good way add that to my answer.
It seemed like it was more relevant in her answer.
Suggestions?
 
scohe001
scohe001
@MikeWaters I think something like "This sounds similar to how people put containers labeled 'Fuel Donations; Thank you' in cars. It's a subtle but effective way to get the message across. Here's [an article on it] if you'd like to use it as more backup for your answer." (or maybe something a little more direct) would work well
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
6:52 PM
@scohe001 Just did, thanks!
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@MikeWaters interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/2144/1599 ;) Catija wrote a really nice answer to that on how to better phrase comments, if you're looking for useful stuff :)
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@Tinkeringbell Bookmarked, thank you.
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Do you guys know the name of the fallacy where someone complains against an act of the law bringing up a previous example where the law wasn't applied?
I'd ask in philosophy but they're busy thinking rather than chatting.
 
scohe001
scohe001
Red Herring maybe? It's certainly a type of Red Herring at least
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Say, "my question was closed but look at this other question which isn't. u suk"
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
6:57 PM
@M.A.R. You may find this taxonomy of logical fallacies to be helpful
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@M.A.R. LOL! What did you mean? ;-)
 
scohe001
scohe001
@M.A.R. well that last bit is ad hominem for sure :p
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
@MikeWaters "Ham" is one of the best terms in the English language to misunderstand
@scohe001 ur face is ad hominem
Like that? ^
 
Em C
Em C
@M.A.R. whataboutism?
 
scohe001
scohe001
Nah that's a compliment in my culture
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
7:01 PM
@Rainbacon Well I've bored myself through the fifth one already, if I found it I wouldn't have asked
@EmC This sounds a bit close
It happens so often I'm pretty sure it's been called something by someone at some point. It's a subset of lots of fallacies of course.
But I'm gonna use it somewhere I wouldn't have to explain the fallacy other than a link
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@M.A.R. Heh heh. I prefer amateur radio. The origins of ham radio are lost to time, but it was not originally a compliment.
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
What if it's called "pineapple tangerine".
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@M.A.R. Why don't you ask that on hamSE? I promise not to moderate it. ;-)
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Well I'm gonna post it on meta.SE . . .
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
@M.A.R. Surely you jest, Mr. Feynman
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
7:06 PM
@MikeWaters Are you secretly hiding a bazooka behind your . . . Yep, that's a bazooka. I don't trust you.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@M.A.R. Are you trying to troll me into giving up gaming? NEVER!
 
Mike Waters
Mike Waters
Huh?
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
@Tinkeringbell MWAHHA gonna post it tomorrow or on Wednesday anyway.
It's so darn tempting to just type in "work in progress" for the sections that are left.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@M.A.R. Please don't... and post it on Thursday. I'll be out Thursday for most of the day, so that works best for me :P
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
Thursdays suck
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
7:09 PM
@MikeWaters (I'm a mod on MSE too)
@M.A.R. Not the upcoming one ;)
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
FWIW, today has provided ample incentive for me both on meta.SE and meta.SO to finish it
-11
Q: Down Vote Etiquette

Peter JenningsThis is a follow up suggestion to a very good question posed 6 years ago If you choose to downvote a question or answer then it should be possible in the SE software to mandate a comment giving the reason. This would have several advantages. It would discourage trivial, revenge or troll downvo...

feature-request
Crap. The guy is not frustrated. Rant no fun.
What is it with this new thing, people rationally arguing their stance.
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
It's because they're learning from good examples? :)
There, that goes with the previous comment. It can stay until that one is superfluous ;)
 
Extroverted Main Man
Extroverted Main Man
7:27 PM
0
Q: Resolving conficts with costumers as a waitrer

friderikI recently had an unpleasant experience with one of costumers in a club. I work there as a waiter on weekends (it's my weekend job to get some money as a student). So far, I haven't had any unpleasant experience because of the club's nature (people usually mind their own business, they are friend...

conflicts customer-interactions
 
scohe001
scohe001
7:39 PM
→ 20 messages moved to Trash
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
7:59 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan Oh I want to cheat on that one so badly!
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@Tinkeringbell cheat? as in write an answer with no backup?
and then pin it to HNQ so you can farm rep off of it?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@Rainbacon Nooo... write an answer saying that they should keep the money visible while counting out the change...
But that's not really interpersonal XD
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
ah yeah
 
scohe001
scohe001
@Tinkeringbell sounds like they have to go back to the register to make change though :/
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@scohe001 Asked ;)
 
scohe001
scohe001
8:05 PM
Fair enough :)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
8:37 PM
Awww... I just read those two Dutchies that managed to tresspass into Area 51 are only getting 3 days of jail time and a fine... There goes our chance to start a diplomatic war! :P
 
scohe001
scohe001
Oh damn did the whole Area 51 raid already happen?
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
@scohe001 Nope :P
But Dutch people hate being late :)
They are youtubers, and they've claimed they wanted to go to some sort of lookout to spot aliens, and were told the way by someone... and that way took them onto area51 territory.
But this article said they pleaded guilty to deliberately tresspassing, so I don't know if that's still true.
 
scohe001
scohe001
LOL I don't blame them--who likes being late? :p
Huh that's kinda messed up. I wonder how much of that is them playing up their innocence and how much is someone else being a dbag to them
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@scohe001 My wife liked to be late for first dates (but only first dates)
 
Tinkeringbell
Tinkeringbell
I would've loved to see the outrage here if they'd have gotten longer sentences though... and the outrage about the outrage :P
@Rainbacon I have a friend from Costa Rica... if she's not at least 15 minutes late, I worry :P
 
scohe001
scohe001
8:41 PM
@Rainbacon huh that's pretty funny. My SO and I both showed up at the first date 15 minutes early and then got really awkward when we realized the other had done the same :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
@scohe001 She told me that she hated getting to the first date first because then she's just sitting around awkwardly, so she'd try to be 5 minutes late. Ironically, she was 10 minutes early for our first date
 
scohe001
scohe001
Hmm I guess that makes sense. I wonder what was different with your date then
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Her train went super fast :)
 
scohe001
scohe001
Score for you then lol
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
yeah, but then I was late because my train was delayed
Also I had trouble finding the door to the coffee shop
 
scohe001
scohe001
8:46 PM
Haha that's super cute that you still remember it all so vividly
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
Mostly because you had to walk through a bank to get to it
No, what's cute is that she had laryngitis and couldn't talk. A) she showed up for the date anyway, and B) she listened to me talk for an hour and a half and still wanted to go out again
 
scohe001
scohe001
Awww. And all after waiting 20 min for you to find the door :p
 
Rainbacon
Rainbacon
exactly
 
M.A.R.
M.A.R.
. . .
I think the best way to describe my situation would be "fallacy fallacy"!
EUREKA
Sorry, you may continue with your Area 51.
 

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