The Awkward Silence

2:45 AM

@Imus Did you get 'electorate' for voting? It's gold.

5:00 AM

@ankiiiiiii It's good to see a mod replying to an FR both on meta and chat. That's not at all bad. There are upvotes on both Q&A. I think it's a good start.

avazula

5:46 AM

@ElizB that sounds so cool!

avazula

6:00 AM

Morning everyone!

Nog Shine

Good morning!

avazula

how's it going?

Tinkeringbell

6:26 AM

@ElizB Hahaha... That does sound like a cool thing, but I don't think I'll be going. I'm not big on things like Drag ;)

Thank you for thinking of me though!

Nog Shine

@avazula Fine. Trying to frame my question. What about you? Is everything good?

Nog Shine

6:55 AM

Is it okay to ask on behalf of another person who asked me for help?

Tinkeringbell

@NogShine It is, as long as you can provide enough/all the details. One of the downsides to asking on somebody else's behalf is that when people request clarification, you might not know the answer.

Nog Shine

@Tinkeringbell Yes, I know the details and I can also provide clarifications if needed.

JAD

good morning

Nog Shine

Should I mention it clearly in the question that I am asking for another person?

@JAD Good morning!

@Tinkeringbell I tried to help my friend with the problem but I am open to more solutions.

Tinkeringbell

@NogShine That is perhaps best, unless you were thinking of starting with 'asking for a friend' because that's a bit of a meme on the internet :P

Nog Shine

7:01 AM

@Tinkeringbell Hahaha.

So, my question goes viral too. More votes and more badges. \o/

Tinkeringbell

@NogShine In that case, I think I'd actually write it as if you were your friend...

We have a few examples, lemme dig.

5

Q: Can we ask questions on behalf of others (e.g. friends)?

Lately, I have been discussing this site with friends and they have all expressed the desire to ask questions but either don't feel their English is good enough or are hesitant for other reasons. I'm trying to convince some to make accounts. Is it OK to ask a question on their behalf if I know...

Note that we do prefer people ask for themselves, but it's not forbidden to ask on behalf of others (yet). The question links a few example questions...

Nog Shine

@Tinkeringbell Okay. But that person doesn't know about SE. I haven't said to her about it (yet).

@Tinkeringbell That sounds good.

Tinkeringbell

@NogShine Yes, but it's going to be hard too: One of the most asked questions here is 'what have you already tried and what were the reactions to it'... do you have that much detail?

Nog Shine

@Tinkeringbell That sounds tricky. I suggested some solutions but I don't know what are the reactions yet. I think I will have to wait some more time to know how the solution worked.

Tinkeringbell

It is tricky. We're mainly looking for those because if we get questions like 'how do I not upset my mom' we need to know what you did to try and solve your problem, but what upset your mom anyways ;) That way we won't suggest things you've already tried and that don't work, things with similar outcomes, or we can just tell you to call the cops because mom dangerous :P

(That last one is not an acceptable answer on IPS :P)

Nog Shine

7:14 AM

@Tinkeringbell Upset to my mom is me :P

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha who doesn't, from time to time?

Nog Shine

sometimes.

@Tinkeringbell Yes, there should be detail as much as possible. Getting same solutions what we already know is sometimes not useful.

Introverted Meta Man

7:34 AM

0

Q: How to fix? — How do I tactfully stop family, who runs a competitor store, from spying on our business? —

I'm so so sorry for badly writing How do I tactfully stop family, who runs a competitor store, from spying on our business?! Please don't suspend me! How can I rewrite my question to make it on-topic? Thx!!!

discussion

Nog Shine

@IntrovertedMetaMan flags @Tink's comment as rude

Tinkeringbell

Seriously? Why?

Thought it was an okay thing to help alleviate some fears ;)

Nog Shine

uses INLN comment flag for being too chatty ;)

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, it's totally fine. :)

Tinkeringbell

Meta is allowed to be more chatty :P

Extroverted Main Man

7:59 AM

0

Q: How can I ask politely someone to place bounty on your Stack Exchange question?

Apologia for looking self-interested and self-seeking! I don't have much rep, but think that some of my questions can benefit the public. I remember someone who requested bounty donations on a Stack Exchange like this, and got downvoted like -20. His post got deleted.

conflict-aversion

Extroverted Main Man

8:19 AM

0

Q: How to avoid my friend tracking my lifestyle

Some friends are way too interested in our lifestyle and want us to share our whole lifestyle with them. I tell you my story, that I am one of the meritorious students of my institute, and 2 friends want me to tell them everything what I'he done yesterday, what are my future plans and much more....

friends friend-groups making-friends

0

Q: How do I keep in touch with a friend without spending long amounts of time with him?

So I became friends with this guy in college about a year ago. He's not a very social person - I don't know any of his other friends, he doesn't share personal information easily, and is barely on talking terms with any of my friends (even though we all lived together in a dorm for 2 years). I do...

friends

avazula

9:11 AM

wow, IPS is on fire today!

Tinkeringbell

@avazula on fire? That sounds bad :P

JAD

Tinkeringbell

Reminds me of way other times on IPS :P

Tinkeringbell

9:35 AM

Chat is awkwardly silent today though... is everyone making up for lost work hours today or something? :P

ankiiiiiii

I overslept. was very tired. Now making resume

JAD

@Tinkeringbell today has been oddly productive so far

avazula

9:52 AM

@Tinkeringbell I'm writing regexes for sanitizing email addresses .. ugh

Bebs

@Tinkeringbell Hi! I'm new, just lurking :)

ankiiiiiii

@Bebs Oh Hi!

you should have been their yesterday

@Imus ping

Nog Shine

@Tinkeringbell I was writing an answer on other site. It took time.

Tinkeringbell

Oh wow. Flurry of activity :P I was discussing lunch plans with mom :P

@Bebs Hey Bebs! Welcome!

Bebs

thank you

Nog Shine

10:02 AM

@ankiiiiiii Have you seen the movie Basha?

Journeyman Geek

10:14 AM

@NogShine the tamil one? ;p

avazula

@Bebs love your avatar

ankiiiiiii

@NogShine Umm no..

It is hard to find even Super Deluxe up here in the north

a 1995? very hard unless recommended

Journeyman Geek

@ankiiiiiii you make it sound like a vintage ;p

ankiiiiiii

@JourneymanGeek Singapore has Tamil?

Journeyman Geek

@ankiiiiiii Its an official language, and its an official, widely taught second language.

So, absolutely

ankiiiiiii

10:28 AM

@JourneymanGeek I don't watch a tollywood a lot. It's my sister who pushes for movies like Kanchana or my action loving friend with whom I saw ..I slipped out the name.. It was a series. Action and romance. same actor.

Journeyman Geek

@ankiiiiiii I won't watch tamil movies either ;p

ankiiiiiii

Or unless it is a hit, bahubali

Journeyman Geek

My dad was crazy about Basha tho

IS that the crazy archery movie?

Also, wait, are you tamil speaking?

ankiiiiiii

haha more than archery, it was about rananeeti

nope

Journeyman Geek

Oh phew

ankiiiiiii

10:30 AM

hindi and English

@JourneymanGeek why?

Journeyman Geek

There's an oddly high representation of tamil speakers who're "core" users on SE ;p

ankiiiiiii

haha okay

Journeyman Geek

At one point we had 3 tamil speakers on SU chat, or one CM and me ...

ankiiiiiii

wow

I never noticed a pattern or high-number anywhere

Journeyman Geek

I've been around for nearly a decade ;p

I've had a longer time to see patterns

ankiiiiiii

10:32 AM

Except europe on IPS itself

Journeyman Geek

europe's a bigger place though

ankiiiiiii

France ?

Journeyman Geek

tbh? In that respect, probably the dutch

ankiiiiiii

okay.. good to know

Is that your dog?

Journeyman Geek

Yup

ankiiiiiii

10:34 AM

<3

Journeyman Geek

Yes, he's the most adorable senior citizen.

ankiiiiiii

Lots of love to him, But I am more inclined towards the stray

Journeyman Geek

Oh, he's a rescue

ankiiiiiii

cherry atop a cake

Journeyman Geek

Someone abandoned him as a puppy

(well kinda abandoned him while staying over so we accidentally ended up with him)

ankiiiiiii

10:36 AM

I've read a story on medium like that

you write there?

Journeyman Geek

naw

Most of my blogging is my hobby projects and all computer stuff XD

ankiiiiiii

Let me dig it up, you might find it interesting

@JourneymanGeek Yeah the diamond shows it

NVZ

What a very bad day at work taught me about building Stack Overflow’s community

Sara Chipps on July 18, 2019

“Caustic community for new users. There is no excuse for not being kind!” – 6 years coding

“It feels too scary and unaccessible for new developers” – 3 years coding

“People could be less brutal” – 6 years coding

“The attitude is not beginner friendly. Askers are expected to have done a lot of research before asking a question (re: both question format and content), even if they are completely new to the community or topic. Not everyone can understand or even know to look for documentation when they’re completely new to programming.” – 12 years coding experience …

Must read.

ankiiiiiii

@NVZ I did! yay, made me happier

Journeyman Geek

@ankiiiiiii actually the diamond is totally people going "Awwwm such a cute dog"

ankiiiiiii

10:38 AM

He would moderate pawrferctly

Journeyman Geek

(there's running joke that I'm the dog - and folks vote for me due to sheer cuteness)

of course, I've literally had different pictures of my dog as my ava for years

ankiiiiiii

I couldn't find it sadly

but this is nice

medium.com/spiralbound/my-dog-story-d796a42bf27d

that one was about some bad owner who didn't want the dog a anymore and the couple adopted it despite all other problems and even not wanting a dog in the first place

GOT IT medium.com/the-ascent/…

CaldeiraG

10:55 AM

@NVZ I did and I completely agree with her :)

@JourneymanGeek :p you know it lol

ankiiiiiii

You might relate with the last link @JourneymanGeek!

off to the gym

Bebs

11:13 AM

@avazula Thank you

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek What'll you do if anything ever happens to Ash?

Mithrandir24601

@JourneymanGeek joke? What do you mean 'joke'?

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell Probably go monochrome

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek Sorry. That was a mean question to ask :(

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell He's old.

Its something we need to be prepared for eventually

Tinkeringbell

11:26 AM

Yeah well... Just realized that was probably still something that's better not asked.

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell I literally thought about it

And I'm not sure I'd get another dog the same way

Yanno, one literally just turn up.

He's 14. We have a few good years left ;)

Tinkeringbell

How old do dogs get? I think I heard something of multiply by seven and you know how 'old' they are on a human scale? So then Ash would be 98 or something, that doesn't sound as if there's years left :(

Journeyman Geek

Depends on size

I've seen 18-19 year old dogs roughly his breed

Other than being overweight, and the bad leg, he's doing ok

Tinkeringbell

Sounds good :)

I've been thinking about pets a lot lately. I think I want one, just not which one ;)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell I wanted a dog for ages

I'm partial to collies and westies but...

I can't have a collie in an apartment, westies have health problems

and pet shops/breeders can be dodgy so...

Tinkeringbell

11:40 AM

I've heard most ... we call them trashcan breeds ... not purebreed dogs are a lot sturdier often

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell Ash's a pet store dog

but he's a mix, and we don't know what his dad is

@Tinkeringbell in singaporean public housing, there's an approved list

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek Oh yeah, you mentioned that before :)

Journeyman Geek

most "singapore specials" or proper mutts don't qualify

Also most of the collies I've run into are just darling dogs

Mithrandir24601

@JourneymanGeek my (parents') dog will be 14 in a few months - had to have a few teeth taken out and doesn't run around like a lunatic quite as much but apart from that, he seems to be doing well for his age :)

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek Collies are cute, even I sometimes pet one :)

Mithrandir24601

11:52 AM

People seem to think he's around 9 or 10, so... :)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell there was one which they were trying to rehome some time back

I almost asked about him

but I already have a dog ;p

there's also a local one who tends to say hi on walks

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek Oh, that one looks nice!

Journeyman Geek

Can you imagine someone abandoned him? :/

Tinkeringbell

Yeah. All that hair on the furniture... Ugh.

Journeyman Geek

Well, something you need to think of before you get a pet

A pet is a lot of work

Other than pet rocks

Tinkeringbell

12:02 PM

Hahaha Pet rock. I'm getting myself a pet rock, good idea :)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell you need to feed, entertain, and keep healthy most pets

even plants

Granted, my money plant is a bit of a wierdo....

I put it in the sun... It grows roots

lots of roots

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek It may be looking for water...

Or a place to sprout :)

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell its basically growing inside water with some nutrients ;p

Unless it wants soil

Tinkeringbell

@JourneymanGeek It may want that, yeah.

Nog Shine

12:28 PM

@JourneymanGeek Yes!

Magisch

@JourneymanGeek I have a semi-pet spider who isn't work at all

he (or she, idk) chills in the plant and continously feasts upon flies and insects trying to make inroads into the apartment

it's an ivy so lots of room

Nog Shine

@ankiiiiiii Don't you have amazon prime?

@JourneymanGeek Oh! I thought it is a puppy. Who would abandon such a cute pup?!

Journeyman Geek

Oh

he used to belong to a actress who moved here. No one famous. Got a dog without telling her SO (Seriously have that talk first)

much drama. Parents were asked to help mediate. And well

keep the dog... temporarily....

Magisch

12:46 PM

@JourneymanGeek impawsible

the guy who didn't ask their spouse first was barking mad

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch Yup

But hey! Free dog

he also bit me the first time he saw me

charged up, and bit my foot. I still have a scar

Magisch

@JourneymanGeek there was mischief afoot

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch also, he kinda chewed up all the trunking

Oh

and refused to eat.

Apparently he distrusted gooshy food

and would not eat dry food unless it had been left out a few hours...

Parents ended up feeding him mashed peas.

which ... worked

Nog Shine

@JourneymanGeek No! I thought it is bought at a pet shop. (I read your explanation already :P)

Journeyman Geek

@NogShine someone did

just not us

ankiiiiiii

12:54 PM

@NogShine no. But I know a guy who knows a guy who has it. So yes I do have prime.

Journeyman Geek

@NogShine but we needed his breed to register him

so we just made it up

ankiiiiiii

@JourneymanGeek in my college, some stray dogs are available for adoption every year.

Journeyman Geek

we know his mom's a snauzer. The petshop his ex owner bought him at didn't know

Nog Shine

@ankiiiiiii Some people on FB and insta rent their hotstar and Amazon prime accounts.

Journeyman Geek

@ankiiiiiii So... most people in singapore live in public housing

there's literally a list of approved dog breeds

Magisch

12:56 PM

@NogShine I dont get it its 5 bucks a month

Nog Shine

@JourneymanGeek Which breed is it? I have no idea of dog breeds.

Journeyman Geek

@NogShine legally he's a westie/white schnauser mix

Magisch

then again I bought a "I'm with stupid" tshirt for 25€ purely to piss of a friend last week so I'm not the pillar of financial responsibility here

Journeyman Geek

we made up the westie bit

he could be a silkie cross

ankiiiiiii

I can’t coz students can keep only cacti lol. But given a chance outside, I will pick up a white and brown Pariah

Magisch

12:56 PM

He's ash

ash is ash

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch we joke he's a spottiswoode terrier.

Very rare

Magisch

@ankiiiiiii keeping cacti is a great idea

they're succulent and don't need much care

Nog Shine

@Magisch In US$ ?

Journeyman Geek

(the neighbourhood I live in is called spottiswoode park)

Magisch

that is a terrierble joke

@NogShine amazon prime is 5.99€ atm

Journeyman Geek

12:59 PM

@Magisch what he means is people share it

Nog Shine

@Magisch In India it is 1k/year or 129 per month.

Journeyman Geek

I had a guy at work who would

Nog Shine

Yeah. People share it.

ankiiiiiii

I am on the phone, but I’ll send a photo of a dog I know

Nog Shine

Same account can be shared by 3. So, one guy owns it but rents it to two others at 150 per month.

Netfilx has more demand and costs more.

Magisch

1:01 PM

In context how much is 150 per month

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch well money goes a longer way in india

about 2 euros

Nog Shine

@Magisch 2 € per month.

Magisch

cause my 5.99€ prime account would be utterly not worth sharing given the time investment to collect the monthly fee and all that

unless I also lived with someone

That is 15 minutes of work

Nog Shine

So you watched Basha @JourneymanGeek ?

Journeyman Geek

ages ago

Nog Shine

1:03 PM

I saw in Telugu not Tamizh

Still looks great!

Extroverted Main Man

1:20 PM

0

Q: How to explain wife's double standards and avoid negativity

I have been married for almost 5 years. My wife and I have a son who just turned 3. At the beginning of our relationship things seem to be really on track but since our son arrived, i've been battling constant negativity, double standards and agressive criticism up to a point that i'm seriously t...

conversations relationships marriage

Nog Shine

Scene between Basha and his brother is amazing. When he closes the door and thinks of his flash back..

Introverted Meta Man

2:35 PM

-1

Q: How can I ask politely someone to place bounty on your Stack Exchange question?

Apologia for looking self-interested and self-seeking! I don't have much rep, but think that some of my questions can benefit the public. I remember someone who requested bounty donations on a Stack Exchange like this, and got downvoted like -20. His post got deleted.

discussion

Tinkeringbell

@IntrovertedMetaMan I've given that one an edit, I think it should be on-topic for meta now?

ankiiiiiii

3 things

1. I remember asking the same question here in chat. Thank goodness I didn't post a question there.

2. What does rejected migration means?

3. I kinda like the question tho. Why so much reaction?

Nog Shine

I wouldn't close that as off-topic for meta too. Is it okay to ask someone or how to ask someone to place to bounty is discouraged but not off-topic. IPS also works under Stack Exchange software. So, it was on-topic even if it is Stack Exchange question.

Tinkeringbell

@ankiiiiiii The question was first asked on the main site, then migrated to meta. Where people closed it as off-topic because 'not about IPS SE' (which it originally may not have been, but I commented on main that if it was about questions on IPS that they wanted a bounty on, they might ask on meta.

Nog Shine

> - ...Stack Overflow the company to communicate with the community (soliciting feedback on new ideas or features, or discussing policies that affect the whole network)

Tinkeringbell

2:42 PM

If questions are migrated then closed, the migrations is rejected.

Nog Shine

This point makes the question on-topic

@ankiiiiiii Because asking someone to lose rep for your own benefit is discouraged.

avazula

My bad. Sorry guys. It's reopen now :)

Nog Shine

No worries. :)

When you have a hammer, you can correct your mistake in a blink. :)

Have you got your diamond now @avazula ? ;-)

Jun 25 at 20:12, by avazula

WHERE'S MY DIAMOND NOW?! lol

ankiiiiiii

@NogShine Yeah, disjoint question, what if I feel that a question/answer deserves it? I saw tetsujin putting one on Apple.SE because "the top answer has to be one that is detailed and informative"

avazula

@NogShine haha, true! And yes I do now :)

Nog Shine

2:46 PM

Which color is it?

avazula

My diamond is ~~on my ring~~ next to my beautiful ava, courtesy of @Mithrandir

@NogShine blue! so rare!

Nog Shine

Catija's green.

@avazula Yeah. So rare.

avazula

@NogShine really? :O

Nog Shine

CM can pick their own color. ;P

She likes green color over blue.

avazula

haha

Nog Shine

2:49 PM

Moderators name appears blue in chat. She once said she liked green more than blue. So, AJ made changes to his browser styling and showed her name in green. She was happy.

I used to ask mods which color is their diamond. Different mods said different colors. :D

Some named their mod hammers too.

Rory Alsop

@NogShine (rory goes off to check - I have no idea. I think I expected it to go with each site css)

Tinkeringbell

Well, mine certainly isn't red enough.

Nog Shine

@RoryAlsop Rory has more diamonds than infinity stones.

Rory Alsop

@NogShine oh that would be so cool if I could have Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet... CM's...pretty please?

4

Nog Shine

@RoryAlsop Yeah. It would be so cool. I lost count. How many sites do you moderate?

One gauntlet is not enough for you @RoryAlsop

Tinkeringbell

2:56 PM

@RoryAlsop I am going to star that :P Catija does drop in here still from time to time. Good luck!

Rory Alsop

it's only 6 now - we couldn't save Productivity ( insert favourite Alanis Morissette song here...)

Magisch

@RoryAlsop Thank you india, thank you terror, thank you disillusionment...

Rory Alsop

@Magisch hahaha

Magisch

...thank you frailty, thank you consequence, thank you, thank you silence...

avazula

@Magisch love this song

Rory Alsop

2:58 PM

@Magisch Cactus Comedian - I'd go to see that show

Nog Shine

Oh, it is in your status in chat. Missed it.

Magisch

@avazula the context of her making it makes it even better imo

ankiiiiiii

Meet Simba

What is the closest match for this breed in terms of the pet-shop ones? @JourneymanGeek guess?

Tinkeringbell

4:09 PM

@ankiiiiiii Oof, the dark one almost looks scary!

@ankiiiiiii How much brushing to you have to do to keep Simba clean? :P

ankiiiiiii

@Tinkeringbell I returned late from library and he followed me up there .yeah teeth might be scary

Umm that is not really done to any dog as far as I know when it comes to stray dogs

but I sometimes just rub my hand over his and Speaker's(he is BIG boy) back

Speaker sheds significantly

he is very possessive, and since older than other dogs, no other comes close if he is sitting besides me. @Tinkeringbell

ankiiiiiii

5:16 PM

Can bounty questions be marked duplicate?

Nat

6:36 PM

@IPSCommentBot Hah, funny to see a comment I just posted on entering a chatroom here.

In any case, actually stopped by here to ask about the same general thing -- are questions about understanding others' motivations or/and mindstates on-topic here?

Like, is having a hard time understanding someone an interpersonal problem, such that I can present a sort of social/interpersonal phenomena that I want to know more about? For example, can I ask about people's motivations or/and feelings?

I ask because, normally, people seem to present functional issues in dealing with other people, where understanding the other person is usually only discussed in the context of coming up with an immediate strategy for dealing with that other person. However, I'm interested in asking about understanding others in cases in which there's no immediate physical problem that needs to be addressed.

Though I feel like it's still sorta the same thing, since I'd ultimately use the knowledge to better inform my interactions with others, and thus improve my interpersonal skills -- just a bit more indirectly, I guess.

Em C

8:45 PM

→ 29 messages moved to Trash

@Nat just a bot :) it posts comments that match certain patterns in here

@Nat so those questions are generally closed because we can't tell you what a particular person was thinking - it'd just be us guessing at reading their mind based on your description of things

However - "understanding social norms" is on topic, but you'd want to focus on a general norm, not a specific situation, and probably get answers that are more about psychology (maybe check out academic-research?)

It can be kind of tricky, so if you have a particular question in mind, you might want to post in the sandbox first to get feedback :)

Nat

10:18 PM

@EmC Thanks! I'll try to get some time to put something together. :-)

I wanted to ask about a sensitive topic -- specifically, the self-conception of trans-gendered people. I mean, the basic problem I want to address is that I simply don't get the mindset, which is an obnoxious sort of confusion to have with discussions about trans-gender issues in the news so frequently. So, I'd like to figure out how to represent my confusion in a way that can get a constructive answer without making anyone feel attacked.

I guess that, in general, I'm often interested in why people hold various beliefs about religion, politics, society, etc., but I suppose there's some consideration due in clarifying that the intent is to understand another person's way of seeing the world rather than attack them for their beliefs.

Nat

10:37 PM

I guess that, if it works out well, I'd probably be interested in asking similar questions about other mindsets. For example, I'm not really too clear on why people hold various religious beliefs, which is another topic I'd like to better understand. Stuff like that, I guess.

Oh, just to say it -- I'll probably be asking for help with ensuring that questions are appropriately sensitive through the sandbox.

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