The Awkward Silence

4:40 AM

@avazula Post an answer on result announcement post. ;)

5:47 AM

Morning everyone!

@avazula Morning!

6:19 AM

@avazula congratulations :)

@avazula congrats

Jun 5 at 8:05, by Magisch

@avazula for mod when

'tis now

\o/

Morning! :)

7:06 AM

:)

congratulations on receiving more responsibilities @avazula!

also o/ everyone

time for a new RO too considering 2 of the remaining non mod ROs are pretty inactive (me included) ?

@Magisch it's been pretty quiet lately actually

One might say its... Awkwardly Silent...

@Magisch tbh, practically a mod is as good as a RO

as long as they're activeish

yeh, but we had 3 non mod ro's most of the time of the room

probably doesn't matter anyways

this is a remarkably civil room

7:20 AM

Yeah, as far as I'm concerned we just keep it like this for a while, and see how stuff goes. There's enough mods in here :)

Mods? *looks around* Where? I don't see any.

11 hours ago, by ArtOfCode

It's a Mithtery

@Mithrandir on your right. :P

Mods are overrated anyway. It's about the same as calling them executive users

7:50 AM

@avazula That's because we are all wonderful users! :P (Hello, everyone)

Hey you :)

Mithrandir24601

8:17 AM

@AJ Look! Behind you! Another wild Mith appeared!

lol

2 @mith mods? man! makes my mind melt ...

Mithrandir24601

9:07 AM

@Imus At least 2 Mith mods ;)

9:20 AM

Oy! You are too quiet people! You should be working less and chatting more!

@Mith that's still 1 too many. I demand you 2 fight it out so that only the surviror remains here. Otherwise it'll be too confusing and I'll be forced to mute both one of you randomly

@Ælis What? I can finally work these days, with an extra mod in my timezone ;)

@Tinkeringbell That's not because there is an extra mod, that's because main is awfully quiet too :'(

@Tinkeringbell you mean you didn't quit your job yet to fully dedicate yourself on your unpaid responsibilites of keeping mee in check? shame!

@Ælis everyone is scared of ava now

@Tinkeringbell I'm still in probation, don't make me get fired :p

9:23 AM

@Imus Don't worry, I won't quit this job just yet ;) Maybe some day I'll trade it to go back working retail though. That was so nice and quiet.

Mainly boring, it didn't require me to think :P

@avazula Don't worry ;)

@Ælis Pfft. I don't really have any questions lately either. My life has been pretty boring.

@Tinkeringbell the kind of job I could use right now. Programming without having 6 hour uninterupted sleep at night is HARD! -.-

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

@Tinkeringbell Thankfully for you, I have another one just waiting in the Sandbox. See, I make your life less boring :p

0

How to compliment someone with anorexia in order to improve their body image? tag: online-interaction, strangers, mental-health, compliments I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things (I already talked about it in this question). The other da...

@Tinkeringbell retail? nice? quiet?

how does that work?

@JAD Well, you just do what needs to be done, and there's a lot less managers and crap overhead to deal with ;)

@JAD:
step 1: live in a developed country where customers are moderatly nice
step 2: avoid the customers wherever possible.
step 3: ???
step 4: profit!

9:28 AM

@Tinkeringbell OTOH, customers :shivers:

And remember that NAR is mostly about the exceptions, not every customer

@Imus Why a developed country? Customers are probably less nice and more exigent in those

@Ælis only a requirement for step 4

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

@Imus I believe this could also work on less developed countries (it probably would even work better IMO) but anyway ^^

Sandman

0

How to compliment someone with anorexia in order to improve their body image? tag: online-interaction, strangers, mental-health, compliments I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things (I already talked about it in this question). The other da...

9:35 AM

@Ælis ;) I'm ... usually not that fond of those, my advice for you would be that you're not there to fix her issues. I also get the feeling it's more about what parts of her you can compliment safely on, and not so much about how to make a compliment?

@Tinkeringbell Is the distinction important? Also, I'm just trying to enlight her day a little and, if it can help reduce her mental health issues, that's all the better. I know I won't fix her, but if it can help just a little then I would do it because it doesn't cost me much (also, people living with someone with anorexia might benefit from the question and the answers)

I think the distinction is important, in so much as it narrows the complimenting problem down a bit more/shifts it to a particular part of the complimenting: 'what can I compliment on' vs 'how can I compliment her'... Are you wondering what you can compliment on, or more broadly on how the present the compliment too?

@Tinkeringbell Sounds like a good answer just takes both into consideration

My gut feeling says some things are tricky to compliment on so the way to do it matters. Hence only possible to answer on when you handle both your distinctive questions as one

I grew up with the general advice of not complimenting people on their appearance at all, unless you're friends. If you don't really know each other, you don't make remarks about appearance or clothing or stuff, it's just not done. You also don't go fishing for compliments from complete strangers... So yeah, that makes me kinda not fond of this question, as it seems to go against everything I was taught would be sensible.

@Tinkeringbell I edited to focus more on the "what can I compliment on" part of the question

9:49 AM

@Tinkeringbell you're right, except that in this context it's in a specific support group so normal rules don't apply. Similar to how on this stack you can ask certain questions that you wouldn't normally ask strangers either

(I know it's not entirely the same though)

@Tinkeringbell Looking good today! I can tell from the invisible avatar.

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Stop it

Not funny.

OK OK

@Tinkeringbell Fishing for compliments is comment enough in France I believe. At least I don't see any problem with people doing it

Raises hands

@Tinkeringbell I apologize

9:51 AM

@Ælis Hmm.. Okay then. May I ask if the support group is okay with that kind of behaviour too?

@Ælis In Belgium you never see/hear men do it, except in certain really specific cases (like sports equipment). Women do it more often, but responses vary a lot on who it's aimed to.

For me personally if someone tries to fish for a compliment I would either exagerate GREATLY in the negative way with a huge smile on my face and then direct the conversation to more supportive other aspects instead, since it's rarely about their looks in the first place.

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, we are here to improve people self-confidence, self-love, etc... so complimenting others and sending virtual hugs to them is definitively part of what we do

Mithrandir24601

@Imus 1 too many! Ha! 24599 too few more like

@Ælis Hmmm. Okay.

I guess I should just not write an answer :P

@Tinkeringbell You could one based on external sources, but the culture from your personal experience seems to definitively not be a good fit ^^

9:55 AM

Well... I do have the etiquette books ;)

Although, my previous inappropriate comment was me making a point about why forced compliments are a bad idea

It's probably just as important as what you compliment people on, if not more

@Tinkeringbell Not sure it's really about etiquette though. More about "here are some studies that show that..."

@Tinkeringbell I think that's okay in such online groups

Dunno the reason, maybe some anonymity, or that they're not talking face-to-face helps it?

@Ælis Maybe. But rules of etiquette can give a good impression of what's acceptable and what not, so e.g. they can indicate it's never safe to compliment on someone's appearance if you don't know them.

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I could have moved on and not answer to that specific post. Instead, I choose to answer because I genuinely liked her hair cut and glasses

9:58 AM

I guess your question already implies you're going to break etiquette though ;)

@Ælis Think the focus is on the future rather the past, right?

@Tinkeringbell is it breaking etiquette in such a specific situation?

Past experiences are . . . past. You could learn from them, but you can't change them

And you can't make a comment template out of them either

@Imus I dunno, feels to me like it would be very intrusive.

@Tinkeringbell Not sure that really part of French etiquette (but I do agree with the idea)

10:00 AM

I mean, asking other people about their cup size is totally inapropriate, except if they're asking about what brah might fit them

and a break of etiquette.

again, not a perfect analogy, but I think the support group setting is a special case on asking for attention

I'm now mainly seeing research that focuses on pro-anorexia and how compliments are bad, as they only make things worse. But that's only a small part of the problem so I don't have time now to go and look things up.

THAT is an important point to consider in answers on the question :)

I'm going to cycle, get some groceries, and money. Something nice for lunch ;-)

BRB :)

10:02 AM

Have a good lunch!

frankejames.com/… — I don't get this

@Tinkeringbell TTYL! Sorry I woke up on the inappropriate side of the bed

By that logic, you shouldn't eat anything

Of course, it depends on how much pollution

11:03 AM

Hey @Ælis just saw your comment on my answer. I'm about to shower and then head into work, but I'll definitely take a look at making some edits when I get there

11:42 AM

Hey people, could I ask you something? Would someone mind to edit my pronouns this post on either they or she? I don't feel comfortable doing it myself, and I guess you can understand why :)

12:07 PM

@avazula I'm on it :) (it was bugging me too, the first time I read it)

@avazula I don't really understand why. Purely gramatically speaking, if the gender is unknown, english rules dictate that the male version is taken. If it was publicly known it was about you (which it shouldn't) and your pronouns were known things would be different

so I don't like changing it to "she" in this case. If people really are sensitive about changing the english language to a sex-neutral then "they" might be an option

@avazula Done. I used "they" since the gender wasn't of importance and since we aren't suppose to know that the OP is talking about you

I lack the reputation XDXDXD

@Imus I can only speak for myself but I find it annoying that people on the internet always assume that I'm a male just because I'm on the internet... (I once put "Mlle" and then "Mme" before my username because I really didn't want people to assume I was a male)

@Ælis thank you so much <3

@Imus There are rules. And then there is society evolving towards something more inclusive of the gender diversity :)

12:17 PM

@avazula You're very welcome <3

@Imus Plus, it makes me feel invisible when people assume I'm a male (FEMALE EXIST TOO, YOU KNOW!!! (and also non binary people ^^))

@Imus (I actually wanted it changed to "they", but I don't mind IPS people to know that "she" is my "preferred" pronoun)

@avazula Important lesson though: When dealing with that kind of things, remember that there's people like Imus, that may have only ever learned that male pronouns are a perfectly valid default. Any handling/correcting things needs a very, very soft hand.

Exactly as Tink says. Was writing a comment myself to try to explain this :)

@Tinkeringbell Should I have left a comment then? I don't believe that I fit the description for "very, very soft hand" ^^

@Ælis AHHH A NON MALE PERSON....

12:21 PM

I was always taught that if the gender is unknown (or you talk about a group containing both genders) then you default to the male pronouns.

This also implies that if you ever see a male pronoun you can't be sure about their gender

@JourneymanGeek AHHH A NON HUMAN SPEAKING!!!

(I tend to default to the singular they when in doubt, and the correct pronoun - as per what the person in question is comfortable with if not)

@Ælis what? Never seen a talking dog?

@Ælis It's okay. Let's just see how things go. But I've seen people basically shout at other people that some third unknown user is female and they're horrible for defaulting to male :/

if you see female pronouns on the other hand, it means they definitly know it's a female person they're talking about

That's never good ;)

12:22 PM

@JourneymanGeek works in english, might not work in other languages

@Imus I never learned this, but then again, English education is quite lacking in the United States

@Imus only... that actually you need to use she when you're in doubt in correct english

only no one does

@JourneymanGeek you do? weird :o

Yup

@JAD oh, in my language - we have a singular they

In that case, my apologies to all female people here, it looks likely that I have learned it wrong

12:23 PM

used a little like tu/vu in french

@JourneymanGeek vu? vous you mean?

MY FRENCH! SHE IS RUSTY!

Yes

@Imus That was I was taught too (it's the same rule in French). It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt the feelings of people that don't identify as "he"

@Imus Don't worry. You definitely learned about what's called 'generic he', and that's okay ;)

Its a singluar they used for older people

or people who you are not sure about

12:25 PM

@JourneymanGeek Actually, "French" (français) is a "he" and France is a "she" :p

Though, for dogs its "it", or the gender appropriate pronoun.... My dog ranks a singular respectful they ....

@Ælis I'm curious why following grammar rules hurts people's feelings. Are you implying that the rule is wrong, or that you choose (maybe unconciously) to ignore the rule?

@Imus You're basically putting grammar over feelings. People don't like it when you do that :P

@Imus in some cases the wrong gender can be disrespectful

Say for a transgender person, using the wrong pronoun is pretty damned bad.

@JourneymanGeek I can only imagine cases where the gender (or at least their prefered pronouns) is known. In that case yes, you should use those.

12:28 PM

In those situations the singular they is better than the wrong one.

At least you made the effort to not misgender them

@JourneymanGeek that is indeed something new I learned that only works in English, not Dutch, so it takes time to get used to it

@Imus For Dutch, you could use 'hullie' :P

I hate that word XD

@Imus Imagine that you fit into one of a set of options, and the "default" option is something other than you. After a while of always hearing the default, you might start to feel marginalized

@Tinkeringbell dialect dependant :p

@Imus True :P

12:29 PM

@Tinkeringbell Oh, I'm not saying at all that @Imus is wrong! Sorry if that felt that way :/

@Imus well this is less than obvious

@Imus The rule is hurtful, it biased our minds. There are studies that show that, when you use the "generic" "he", people (and more importantly, children) will think about a male 80% of the time (actually, the number might be higher, but I don't remember exactly, I might try to find this study tonight, when I will be at home)

@avazula Oh, I didn't mean a critique at all, just saw that as a good time to spread that mod-lesson ;) (And hopefully also temper an obvious, incoming, pronoun discussion ;) )

Some of my online friends are trans so I kinda picked up this from them

and its easier when you know why that works better in that situation.

@Tinkeringbell :)

12:34 PM

Also... wait...

@avazula I thought you were in europe. WHY ARE THERE RACCOONS?

@JourneymanGeek what I meant was coypus, but I couldn't find the word on time yesterday ^^

@avazula What's a "coypus"?

Coypu

The coypu (from Spanish coipú, from Mapudungun koypu; Myocastor coypus), also known as the nutria, is a large, herbivorous, semiaquatic rodent. Classified for a long time as the only member of the family Myocastoridae, Myocastor is actually nested within Echimyidae, the family of the spiny rats. The coypu lives in burrows alongside stretches of water, and feeds on river plant stems. Originally native to subtropical and temperate South America, it has since been introduced to North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa, primarily by fur farmers. Although it is still hunted and trapped for its fur...

No less confused

Oh yeah, that's not exactly a racoon ^^

@Ælis I know ^^

12:39 PM

@avazula It's nice that you have coypus near your house though, I wouldn't have expected one to leave in a "city" (even if it's a very little one)

@Ælis I would assume people consider male somewhere between 80% and 95% whenever "he" is used, generic or not. Compared to 100% assumed female when "she" is used. Hence why I didn't get why it was an issue that much. Using "they" when unknown in english is what I too find most apropriate now that I learned it again though :)

Mister Positive

@avazula Congrats!!!

@Imus The problem is that, when you are talking about jobs, saying "he" firefighter, "he" policeman, etc... Make girls believe (unconsciously) that they can't do their job. When "he" isn't used generically, having people think 100% of the time that we are talking about a male isn't an issue. However, when you are using the "generic" "he", you should aim for 50/50, not something else

I'd say wrongly using "she" when talking about a nurse because you assume they are female is worse than using the "generic he" for firefighters.
Also aiming for 50/50 for the sake of gender equality looks at least somewhat wrong to me as well. This implies that there are no differences between the genders at all. If that were the case, why separate them in sports for example?

Note: I'm not saying I don't understand your point. I agree that our society biases certain things too strongly "because it's always been like that". But I doubt that trying to really force equal numbers is the correct solution. Using "they" instead of "generic he" in english I don't mind.

12:55 PM

@Imus I agree with your first paragraph. For your second one, I'm not saying there is no difference between genders. I'm just saying that, when you are talking about someone and the gender doesn't have any importance, then you should use something neutral because you don't want people to assume one way or another

Is there a way to escape < and > in SE posts so that it doesn't get treated as html?

use code block?

That does work, but then it looks weird

otherwise, probably but I don't know how :)

1:11 PM

@Ælis At least for gender (in english) there is a neutral alternative. So I'll agree on you here :) As long as people don't try to force this same train of taught in Dutch where the current nomers don't work neutrally -.-

@Imus In France, we don't have an "official" neutral pronoun, but people in the non-binary community are using "iel" or "ille" (a mixt of "il" (he) and "elle" (she)).

@Rainbacon not as far as I can tell

even the backslash escape fails

@Ælis That looks more like a spelling mistake to me :o I kind of understand why you want alternative pronouns, but I wouldn't be surprised that people outside of the non-binary community (inside the binary community?) would push back because it looks weird for no reason (in their eyes)

@Imus Oh, they do push back ^^ And I know it takes some use too, but it then becomes more and more natural (and then, using something else feels unnatural and wrong)

@Ælis Heh, guess we'll just see when/if those gets generally accepted then ^^,

1:21 PM

@JourneymanGeek In a code block?

You can often escape stuff in general with a backslash

but dosen't work here

@Imus Yep, that's a long process, it definitively won't happen today from tomorrow ^^

@Rainbacon What if you put * in the middle of it? Test: <**and**>

Curious about a different discussion: What about using the word "handicaped" for describing someone that has a certain phisical limitation (can't walk, only 1 arm, blind, ...). I've seen that word changed to disabled, differently abled, alternatively abled (at least when literally translated from dutch), yet no matter what word is chosen to discriminate them, it'll always get the connotation of negative discrimination. Note: I'm talking about a situation where the handicap itself is relevant.

(well, maybe the chat and main don't act the same way? :/ )

@Ælis That worked

1:23 PM

@Rainbacon \o/

Oh, @avazula I have a question about cats

That was Giselle's chosen position while I was brushing my teeth this morning. Is that a normal thing?

@Rainbacon what is it?

Why would certain people fight so hard to change the word, if it wont matter in the end anyway?

She also like to lick the bottom of the shower. Does Fedora do things like that?

@Imus Not sure if "handicap" as the same connotation that it has in French but, in French, it's pretty "neutral" and I don't mind describing myself as having an "invisible handicap" due to my autism

1:26 PM

@Rainbacon I believe so. Cats love running water

@Imus Probably because they believe it does matter in the end ^^

@Ælis It's pretty bad seen in France outside of the autistic community

@avazula But why exactly?

My only reason I could come up with up to now is because the handicaped person didn't accept their handicap (yet)

I don't think I've ever seen the word handicap to describe autism in the US

@Imus Sometimes it's used as a swear word, and that's definitively not nice :/

1:28 PM

We tend to use the word specifically to refer to someone with a physical disability

@Rainbacon We don't have the word "disability" in French, only "handicap", so no distinctions for us

Also, I think it's being used less and less in favor of disability

I think the whole idea behind it, is that those people don't see their handicap as being limiting, as a disability. They're revolting against the idea that they're somehow less capable at things.

@Tinkeringbell I've heard a standup comedian joke about that as: There was this guy in a wheelchair who couldn't walk that tried that argument with last time. "I'm not limited by the wheelchair" "oh yeah? then get up. Get out of that wheelchair and take the stairs"

(probably told differntly but good enough here)

Since people in wheelchairs typically require smoother surfaces. A slow ascent/descent on a ramp instead of stairs, then they ARE less capable in THAT aspect of life. The issue is that they typically generalise that as "less worthy as a human"

@Imus In the autism community (at least in France), we have a saying that it's the society that creates the disability. If you are among bird and there is one fish, then you will believe that the fish is disabled just because they can't fly. But the fish just doesn't work the same way

1:34 PM

@Ælis That's a really good point

I wouldn't describe a fish as a disabled bird though ...

Would you describe an autist as a disabled allist?

@Imus And an autistic person isn't a "broken human", they are just another kind of human. They (we) are only disabled because the society was made for neurotypical people and not for us.

@Rainbacon I wouldn't use the word allist in the first place :p

@Ælis note: I wouldn't call an autist disabled either

What's an allist?

1:38 PM

@JourneymanGeek Someone who is not autistic

uhm

There's a lot more sorts of folks with 'different' brain wiring

I'm dyslexic. I'm not "disabled"

My brain just works differently. At some things I'm brilliant. At some things I just suck.

I can't sit in a classroom and study. Put me with a good problem and the internet and watch out world.

Neuroatypicality / neurodiversity

That dosen't make me "broken" or "stupid"

Exactly

It does confuse some people at work though

1:41 PM

hey @Tinkeringbell Do you Dutchies describe autism as a handicap?

Perhaps I should have used neurotypical in this context since we were specifically talking about how "disabilities" relate to "normal"

@Imus I think we use 'mental disorder', as in 'DSM 5'.

I have a mental disorder, it's called being human

@Tinkeringbell what's the dutch term?

@Imus mentale/psychische stoornis.

1:47 PM

@Tinkeringbell hmm, right. That is indeed how it could be described.

@Rainbacon Well, I have that one too. What are the chances!

Thanks for the edit @Rainbacon :)

@Ælis Is that what you were looking for or did you want a bit more?

@Rainbacon I must say, since she is already talking about it answering with "If you ever need or want to talk about this, feel free to message me and I'd be happy to listen" seems a bit weird ^^ I was more expecting something like "Acknowledge her pain, tell her that you are worried this might be an abusive relationship, give her some relevant online resources and offer her to talk more about it anytime she wants"

(this is based on what you are saying in your answer)

Q: On what to compliment someone with anorexia in order to improve their body image?

That does make sense, maybe I'll roll back the edit and take another go at it

Extroverted Main Man

2:20 PM

2

I'm in an online support group for people with anxiety, depression and these kinds of things (I already talked about it in this question). The other day, someone with anorexia (her words) posted a picture of her, explaining how she feels ugly and fat. I wanted to tell her something that would i...

online-interaction strangers mental-health compliments

@IntrovertedMetaMan BTW, this can now be unpinned and replaced by the results link or someone congratulating @Ava

Or Ava congratulating people

Think that happened too

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ "Congrats for voting for me, this proves that you all are very smart!" :p

@ExtrovertedMainMan @Ælis I read about this and it seems like when I was originally sick and pretended I wasn't, I was mildly anorexic

Or I dunno, showed its symptoms. Is it strictly genetic?

Also, one more thing. Does @Alis ping you?

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ That didn't

@Aelis

Oh, this one did. So still confusing

2:33 PM

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Anorexia isn't genetic, it's a mental disorder than anyone can have (like anxiety or depression)

Aha

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I guess the "computer" is smart and knows that "Æ" is just an "a" and a "e"

Q: Why does @Oɹʇɥo ping @Ortho?

@Ælis Did it vote for Ava too?

15

My understanding was that if the first three characters of a name match a username present in the chat for the previous seven days, the person will be pinged. Out of curiosity, why does @Oɹʇ ping @Ortho? Aren't they different characters? This seems to only happen in @Ortho's case. Flipping @...

bug chat ping

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Probably, as I said, the computer is smart :p

Q: Does switching the lights off help avoiding mosquitoes?

@Tink BTW, I just keep realizing how out of line my comment was. That wasn't me (well it was me but mostly my evil twin brother who woke up after an early afternoon nap) so I hope, uh, we're still good?

Needless to say, I suck at apologies.

Having said that

3

This Travel Stack Exchange answer states something I long considered for granted (probably because my parents told me so): if you want to avoid mosquitoes, switch off the light. Opening the window only works well if the temperature on the outside is lower than on the inside. To avoid mosqu...

entomology light pests

2:39 PM

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ The one with the fake beard and eyepatch?

I thought that was something like blankets keeping the evil away

I mean, 90 percent of the bites happen when you're asleep, right?

@JourneymanGeek Oh he stole an eyepatch too?

Ooh, I just found out I get to spend the last week and a half that I'm on this project setting up an automated testing framework :)

@Rainbacon Oh, do you know what you are going to use?

Also, the app I'm automating test on is way too buggy, I'm tired of writing the same bug report over and over again :'( :'( :'(

I'm planning to use Cucumber

@Rainbacon \o/

2:51 PM

It's my favorite testing framework

Cucumber is awesome, that what I'm currently using and I couldn't be more satisfied

Are you doing tests on the UI with it or just testing the backend code?

On the UI with selenium (and java)

And you?

Well, currently we have no automated tests anywhere. I'm probably going to start with the backend (NodeJS) so that I don't have to fiddle with setting up selenium

@Rainbacon You mean, installing a web driver? Because that all the set up I needed for selenium (but that might be because I'm using maven with my java)

2:58 PM

Since I only have 8 days to work on it before I leave this client, my target is to just get the framework in place and hooked into our build pipeline

@Ælis You have to build the page models, in my experience that's what takes the most time.

Q: Should I apologize after being unblocked?

@Rainbacon Oh right, associating every relevant element with their id. That does take a lot of time. Lower level test are indeed quicker (in many way)

That's almost funny how this question tends to attract not backed up answers (and zero backed up one)

Extroverted Main Man

3:21 PM

0

I met her a long time ago, and was friends on FB, and I liked to send stuff to her if I found it interesting or funny. However, one day, I sent her a random meme, and she must have been pissed off, so she blocked me. At that time, I must have been too carried away. 2 years later, I found out that...

friends approach apologies

This one added relevant back up, that's nice!

IPS Comment Bot

How close were you two? It sounds like you were just facebook friends for a short amount of time? — Lux Claridge 14 secs ago

#22209 Lux Claridge (625 rep) | Q: Should I apologize after being unblocked? (score: 0) | posted 18 minutes ago by Superman (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.10563846 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

3:47 PM

@IPSCommentBot fp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught incorrectly (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps

@Ælis Yeah, that was a really nice edit

@Rainbacon Yep, definitively a well-related experience. It's always nice to see an answer improve like that :)

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ It's okay. I should get that temper of mine under control some day...

@Tinkeringbell Wha, no. You didn't do anything wrong. My theory is, esp. online, if you don't abruptly make people realize they're being idiots, things can only get worse

3:54 PM

I can't preach that people be careful when navigating pronouns if I can't get a similar handle on my own stuff ;)

It's tough to be uniformly funny and uniformly polite when you're coming online in so many different moods

I think my last profile bio said "If I'm being an idiot, remind me"

Then Mith copied it.

. . . Yep. He copied it.

Ooh, we should all set our profile bios to say "If @M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ is being an idiot, remind him"

Pfft, if it were me I would have definitely have.

But you grown ups can at best make dad jokes.

I like my current chat bio better ;)

@Tinkeringbell It appears to be a reference that I don't understand

3:57 PM

Is that a penta Haiku or something.

@Rainbacon Waaaait, what?!

Because it sounds poetic and I don't get it

You don't know the story about rumplestiltskin?

No, I do not

It's a fairy tale reference ;)

3:58 PM

I've heard of it, but never actually heard it

I think it's maybe a guy who wants to ruin Easter or Christmas or something?

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ No, that's a grinch

scohe001

@Rainbacon cs.cmu.edu/~spok/grimmtmp/044.txt

A lot shorter than I remember it being, surprisingly

> Rumpelstilzchen
Song by Münchener Freiheit
Lyrics
Kummer und Sorgen
Kopfweh am Morgen
Ich zähl meine Glieder
Wo bin ich hier wieder, oh oh oh oh
Guck unter die Decke
Da liegt ja die nette
Blondine von gestern
Mit ihren zwei Schwestern, oh oh oh oh
Heute schlafe ich mal hier
Morgen Abend mal bei dir
Und übermorgen schenk ich der Königin ein Kind
Ach wie gut, dass niemand weiß
Wo ich herkomm, wie ich heiß
Ach wie gut, dass niemand weiß
Dass mein Stilzchen Rumpel heißt
Und später am Tage
Check ich die Lage

@Tinkeringbell I'm most definitely aware of that one, as a person who hates Christmas

4:00 PM

@Rainbacon are you green?

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Only during December

theguardian.com/books/2009/oct/13/…

Wow dark story.

Let's have Nolan make it into a movie.

4:30 PM

@Rainbacon you hate Christmas?

Bacon = Grinch

google.com/…

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Nope. It was completely original.

@Mithrandir Nope. You copied it.

@avazula Hate might be a tad strong, but years of watching everyone else be happy and cheerful while you yourself are depressed certainly makes it less enjoyable, even after the depression has gone

4:37 PM

@Rainbacon oh right, I can imagine :(

Christmas '17 was a nightmare for this exact reason...

I don't like Christmas either

I'm not a big fan of western holidays that involve helping diabetes or obesity.

I want to say it was '13 or '14 the year I snuck 2 bottles of wine into my parents house and spent Christmas quite drunk so that I didn't have to think about how much I hated the current situation I was in

(Also not a big fan of my own birthday)

Which is two days after Christmas.

@Rainbacon yeah, I've been there too... on Christmas '16. I've been trying to write about this for three months now, but I struggle a lot to share that much of my personal history.

El'endia Starman

Avazula: blue then, blue now. (Congrats on the diamond, by the way!)

4:45 PM

Here's an extract (TRIGGER WARNING: terror attacks)

Uh, seems like I can't hide the triggering part

Sorry about that. Let me know if you're interested, I'd find a way to share it elsewhere. I don't want to pollute the chat with this :)

@El'endiaStarman Thanks! I'm blue dabadi dabada

El'endia Starman

I read it before you removed it. :P You could perhaps put it on Pastebin or something and share the link here instead.

I got through most of it before you removed it. Started out thinking about how much I like your writing style, and by the end I just wanted to give you a hug

@El'endiaStarman ooh right

@avazula I'll have to give you a workout later...

^. And ^

Except Mith's showing off message.

4:49 PM

Pouf! Linky link here's the link

Pretty sure his mentoring mostly involves "pushing random buttons is the best game strategy invented"

@Rainbacon Group hugs! Yay!

Wait. Are game strategies invented or discovered?

How do you give a virtual hug?

@AJ hold on one sec

4:51 PM

My impression was it was so dark. You'd make a great novelist.

King Stephen is overrated.

No!

@AJ Like this o/@avazula\

@AJ You search 'hug' in Google images.

hehe

4:52 PM

Aaw, so much nice feedback! Thank you all. If you're interested, I wrote this piece about my relationship with religion Last Sunday: medium.com/@avazula/…

@avazula I've read that one. It's a good read

^ (is my imposter syndrome shying away a bit?)

I was curious to get feedback from believing people too, as it's really not that common anymore in France

@avazula I think you did a great job to capture what I see as a very common struggle that a lot of people have.

I've watched a number of fairly religious friends go through similar struggles, and unfortunately, there's not an easy answer

@Rainbacon Yeah, it'd be egocentric of me to think I'm the only one who's gone through a faith crisis

ankiiiiiii

@Rainbacon at what age does this happen?

4:57 PM

I'd say you're the only who's gone through the crisis you felt.

@avazula Mrs. Bacon and I almost broke up over mine

It's unique to every person. Part of what makes it hard to deal with.

@Rainbacon what? How come?

@ankiiiiiii could be any, IMO

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ I disagree. I've watched many people experience the exact same crisis