The Awkward Silence

1:53 AM

0

Q: Im a straight guy who fell in love with a girl who is gay what do i do?

Basically it goes like this I've known a girl for a couple of months and I've fallen for her but she is gay we are very good friends and have had a lot of laughs and I dont know how to tell her and I'm afraid she will stop liking me if I tell her but I still do want to because it's been bothering...

IPS Comment Bot

Hey Thomas, welcome to IPS! I'm sorry to hear that the girl you are into isn't able to reciprocate. Right now it seems like you are looking for advice on whether or not you should tell her how you feel. That's not really something that we can determine for you. What we can help you with is how you tell her, if that is what you decide to do. If so, you can edit your question and we'd be happy to help. — Rainbacon 58 secs ago

Extroverted Main Man

2:13 AM

0

Q: Is it ever okay for a boyfriend to play wingman at dinner, drinks, and movie?

Is it acceptable for a boyfriend to play wingman at dinner, drinks, and movie and not tell girlfriend about it? Do guy friends do these types of things and don't really talk about it with their girlfriends? I am confused on what is acceptable behavior and how understanding is a girlfriend to be.

relationships boundaries

Rainbacon

2:42 AM

@IPSCommentBot Hey, I'm supposed to be whitelisted!

dhein

5:16 AM

We are back to HNQ, huh? Aren't we? Or How it comes I see an quite busy Extro Main Man, rather than the chat transcript from last evening when joining here?^^

Oh and GaMen btw :)

avazula

5:48 AM

→ 33 messages moved to Trash

@Rainbacon It takes some time to be effective I guess. Many features of the bot rely on a crontab IIRC

@dhein Morning dhein! Yes, we returned at the beginning of the week :)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to reply to someone who gets defensive when you ask them to do something?

This is actually about my father but I guess this could happen with anybody. I noticed when I ask him for a favor, instead of saying he can't, he gets mad at me or acts in a very defensive way. For example my printer isn't working and I asked if I could use his. He was about to go to bed and star...

united-states saying-no parents requests

dhein

6:04 AM

Wow.... Someone took as much time to answer the question as it took me to adress in a comment, why this question isn't answerable with the info given...

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21848/32 We should close it quickly, I feel like this one might escalate quickly ^^

avazula

@dhein vtc

dhein

there comes the next answer in... holy x'D

dhein

6:17 AM

Btw are we limited to 1 HNQ post? I hope so x'D

avazula

@dhein yup

Introverted Meta Man.

6:51 AM

1

Q: How to moderate answers, that where given to an OP having been off-topic in its initial form?

Being a bit worried about How to reply to someone who gets defensive when you ask them to do something? getting too much attention before OP is gonna clarify his question, I was wondering: Assuming that OP will add the specific goal his question of "How to achieve that" is gonna be, what would b...

discussion

0

Q: Writing a featured sum-up post to help new users understand the site quickly

Well, most of you already know this, we're back on HNQ. Yay! I'm not good in writing SQL queries so I'm unfortunately not able to provide stats to support my claim but since we returned, I observed a significant number of comments not matching our standards, answers that aren't backed up or ques...

discussion hot-network-questions new-users guidelines

dhein

@avazula: I think you don't need any SQL querrys to proof something that is empiric detectable true :P

avazula

@dhein I want proof of what I'm claiming :p

dhein

Well the proof would be going to the HNQ list and finding IPS in it xP

As did I when you claimed we are back on HNQ xP

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@avazula You didn't need to. I would simply phrase it as "I feel like there has been an increase in bullshit" and some SQL guru would come by and say "you're right".

. . . Or wouldn't. Either way, a new user guide doesn't need much justification.

There's already lots of redundancy and lots of info to dig up in the help center; said user guide should aim to be practical, not necessarily comprehensive.

Mithrandir

7:22 AM

slightly unnerved by @ava watching me do bike tricks

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

@Mithrandir You upload to YouTube?

Mithrandir

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Not yet.

I followed her and she followed me back on Instagram :p

Termatinator

7:54 AM

I just had 3 persons randomly following me on twitter XD

avazula

8:08 AM

@Mithrandir oh no, I'm sorry I made you feel that way! I got a notif saying you posted a story so I watched it xD

Mithrandir

@avazula Nah, it's not an issue, just interesting to have different parts of my life that are usually separate interact like that :p

avazula

@Mithrandir Don't worry, I feel the same way haha

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Now I wanna watch Mith do bike tricks.

Maybe with a dog.

A civil one of course.

@Termatinator Spam bots?

Are you looking to lose some weight?

Mithrandir

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ Sure, you just have to somehow find my insta... :P

avazula

cough

:p

Ælis

8:51 AM

Any thought on my comments there? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21836/21067

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis Yep, your first one matches what I tried to say in mine :)

Ælis

I feel a bit bad about not casting a close vote there sooner. I felt it wasn't that much of an issue, but since we are back on HNQ, it kind of is. We must be extra-careful now

dhein

Yeps x)

But is it actually a phrasing request?

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis It's okay, it takes some getting used to. Hopefully HNQ will also lead to more people finding IPS and helping with the moderating!

dhein

@Tinkeringbell The problem with that is, getting the hang of how we moderate here, is taking quite some time. as the redundancy on meta with a lot of similiar posts having slightly different conclusions is very confusing. I just recently started feeling comfortable with our moderation guidelines.

Tinkeringbell

8:59 AM

@dhein I wouldn't actually call it that, but it seems OP is asking us to provide some arguments as to why their time is valuable. And you can see how answers seem to focus a bit on 'ask money, and if people don't want to pay it's not your problem anymore'.

dhein

So I can somewhat understand them

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I hope that too :) (especially if one of these people come from Japan and can moderate when most of us are in bed :p )

Tinkeringbell

@dhein Yeah, perhaps putting in some time this weekend to get that FAQ rolling would help. ;)

dhein

Yeah I think I am getting it. He should mention what outcome he would like to achieve with it, so people could give hints on how to mount it, I think I am gonna VTC, too.

Extroverted Main Man

9:15 AM

0

Q: Etiquette regarding money participation when a coworker leaves?

I live in France. One of my coworkers is leaving soon and some other coworkers decided to collect money for him (in order to buy this coworker a gift). I was wondering, is there any formal etiquette regarding when (if) someone has to give money and how much the person should give? Note that (I ...

work-environment etiquette coworkers france saying-goodbye

Termatinator

9:26 AM

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ well, their accounts had actual content and normal names

and were not new

dhein

10:22 AM

@Mithrandir If I was willing to scroll back for like 200~300 days, I remember a random person joining here and telling us proud they knew your real name and could share your contact with us and did so. xD But my philosophie in that regards is: if you aren't willing to share voluntary, why should I even be interested in it? ^^

30

Q: Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer that he uses to do this on his house 2 times a year. In the ideal world I would borrow the power w...

united-states etiquette neighbors

"Can I ask my neighbor if he borrows me his power washer and is an payment in beer appropriate?".... VTC? Any objections? '^.^

Ælis

@dhein I wouldn't close it personally. It's about etiquette so it's different than a simple "what should I do".

@dhein I'm glad I don't know someone who would share my personal information in the internet without asking me first

dhein

10:50 AM

Yeah, but except the term in the title I neither see where it is asking about etiquette.

Termatinator

11:18 AM

Should I accept the highest answer on my latest question?

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator No, you should accept the one that worked for you :)

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell both answers pretty much have the same conclusion imo tho

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Okay, so did they work for you?

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell well, they don't really answer the question on how to contact my friend without making him angry on my possible breach of privacy

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Then you're also perfectly free to not accept either ;) And if they don't really answer the question, they might need a comment or two ;)

Termatinator

11:26 AM

So, how can I call him in order to get news from him without having him become angry at me for this breach of privacy?

the final question

which wasn't reall answered...

I might start a bounty to get some more answers @Tinkeringbell

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator I'll have a look at the answers to your question this evening, once I'm home (if I don't forget, so feel free to remind me until I do!).

But perhaps the answer is 'you can't control his emotions'.

Termatinator

alright

@Tinkeringbell shall I start a bounty now or wait?

and to that, I never heard anything from him, he just vanished out of no where and I got worried

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Depends, if we can get the existing answers to point out their answer to the actual question, it might not be necessary...

IPS Comment Bot

12:09 PM

This is the best way to go about it, almost most of the time they change the spelling form then on. Unless your contact with them is minimal (like an email every 2 months or so). — Amber K 1 min ago

Ælis

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

dhein

12:24 PM

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.

Termatinator

XD found one of my questions in science fiction in the HNQ

Tinkeringbell

1:04 PM

@Termatinator That's good, right? :)

Means you asked a question that people are actually interested in

Evening!

Hello! :)

Hi!

What's up everyone?

Too much :P

Right now, I've got some news from my mom that I kinda need to verify first, but which is already making me want to strangle a specific aunt :/

Work has been a lot of fights lately too.

A J

1:13 PM

What?! O.o

Tinkeringbell

And we're also back on HNQ so there's more traffic to keep an eye on ;)

A J

Yeah I saw! ;)

Well, my vacation is over and I will get back to work on monday.

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell just a little quick, 2 hours after it was posted

Tinkeringbell

@Termatinator Huh, that's strange. It should be at least 8 hours old :/

Unless they only put the delay on IPS :P

(which they didn't, I'm sure)

Termatinator

Yeah I was quite surprised

Ælis

1:22 PM

@AJ Nice to see you back (even if it must be less nice for you since it means that your vacation are over ^^)

Rainbacon

Maybe the delay is configured per site? Or maybe there's a bug

Termatinator

I actually saw my question in the list and was like: "Hey that's me!!!"

Ælis

@Rainbacon There is a bug, I read about that on meta but they were having a hard time reproducing it

Rainbacon

@Termatinator I've been there. I took a screenshot the first time I saw one of my questions on HNQ

Termatinator

I believe this is my second time, both on the same stack btw, I think the other was about a week ago, and otherwise I have no indication of time lol

Ælis

1:26 PM

@Rainbacon If you want to read about the bug, it's in the comment under this answer

Termatinator

Found the other one!!!

was may 16

also 2 hours after posted

Tinkeringbell

1:41 PM

@Termatinator But that one was before the 8-hour delay was implemented then.

ElizB

Good morning :)

Rainbacon

@ElizB Good morning!

ElizB

:) I have nothing on my calendar today, heh

I did all the other things I wanted to do earlier in the week

The only little things I have are going to church band practice to listen to the music for interpreting and going to my mom's to sleep over there because my mom's going out of town, to her mother's because her mother's got heart issues (she's 83) and needs to go to the doctor. Nobody else can bring her except for my mom

so I'm going to my mom's to make sure my 10 year old is safe overnight then I have to wake up super early to drop him off at school at 6am because he's got a field trip to the Bronx Zoo (I'm super jealous of him!)

then i also have to be there to get him when he comes back like 6:30pm

Rainbacon

@ElizB Well, luckily for you, we're back on HNQ and there are plenty of posts that could use attention ;)

Sid

@ElizB I give my condolences to your 10-year-old. Going to school at 6AM is very tough. :P

ElizB

1:54 PM

@Rainbacon Yup! I noticed that. I think I'll get ready for the sleepover (packing an overnight bag), get out of my pajamas, take a walk outside (my legs are super sore from fun with hubby and softball game last tuesday. That was the first time I played softball with the church team, and the first time playing in 12 years... I'm so out of shape

Rainbacon

@ElizB Did you mean to say brother? As far as I was aware, you don't have any children of your own?

ElizB

@Sid Yeah, no doubt about that.

@Rainbacon Yes, I meant my 10 year old brother

you are correct, I don't have any kids of my own yet

avazula

would you like to have some in the future?

ElizB

@avazula Oh, yes. maybe two

depends on how well @El'endiaStarman does ;)

Termatinator

@Tinkeringbell not for the one of today though, same happened

avazula

1:58 PM

@ElizB haha :)

I wanted 3 to 5 children but Mr. Ava only wants two. I decided I'd rather have 2 children with him rather than more but without him by my side

ElizB

@avazula hehe I know I'm just poking him but really, we both have talked about it and it's possible it's happening within the next year or two. Speaking of which, I should make an appointment with my OB/GYN and have a chat with her for preparation stuff

Rainbacon

I want any number of children which is not equal to 1. The future Mrs. Bacon wants 0, so we're going with 0

avazula

:)

Termatinator

btw, I feel quite sorry for a friend, she's being manipulated by someone but I can't really intervence since I know through another friend

avazula

@Rainbacon oh? and since 1!=0 I guess you're okay with that?

ElizB

2:01 PM

@Rainbacon I know many couples that are choosing not to have kids, I can totally see why not. :)

Rainbacon

@avazula Yeah, basically I don't care particularly whether I have kids or not, but if I have them I'd want to have more than one so they'd have siblings

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Highly related, if not duplicate.

Rainbacon

@ElizB She's a teacher, she gets more than enough interaction with kids

avazula

@Rainbacon you were an only child?

Mithrandir

@Rainbacon siblings are a legitimate source of food in the animal kingdom. Just putting that out there.

Rainbacon

2:03 PM

No, I have 3 older siblings.

I felt like having siblings was important for me, so I would want my theoretical kids to have the same experience

Sid

What's wrong with single kids?

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

They're single

Mithrandir

@Sid Nothing. Kids are too young to be in relationships.

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Jinx.

Now go do bike tricks and post them somewhere I can't see.

Sid

.... I meant, only child

Rainbacon

2:05 PM

There's nothing inherently wrong with them, but I enjoy my siblings

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Veteran high schooler experience: Kids that were the only child of their house tended to be more oversensitive about some things.

Termatinator

@Mithrandir uh... I've been in a relationship as a little kid...

M.A.R. ಠ_ಠ

Of course, correlation doesn't imply causation

Sandman

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

Letting someone know that you agree with their point but not with how they're making it family conversations united-states assertiveness A close family member, Ann, has been trying to get me to do XYZ for years. She'll text me every now and then asking if I've done it yet. Every time we see e...

ElizB

@Rainbacon Ahh, yeah. that's cool :) I can totally see how she can just watch the kids grow and learn and be satisfied with that, without taking care of the messy bits haha

CaldeiraG

2:46 PM

I just found out there is a Sandbox here, nice :D

ElizB

@CaldeiraG Yup! do you plan on using it?

CaldeiraG

3:06 PM

@ElizB don't know, I was just browsing IPS.SE and found an off-topic question with Tinker mentioning Sandbox xD

ElizB

@CaldeiraG Ah, cool :)

CaldeiraG

@ElizB yeah :)

ElizB

I'm having a pretty lazy day today, such is life after graduation... :P

Rainbacon

Oh, hey @BlackThorn long time no see

ElizB

4:26 PM

I'm pleased to see the uptick in traffic (just by seeing activity on posts) since we got back on the HNQ, and at the same time we're not overwhelmed so far. (knock on wood)

Rainbacon

@ElizB @Ælis post that hit HNQ is already over 6k views. The most popular posts when we were off only got to around 1-1.5k

ElizB

@Rainbacon Yeah, I'm glad we're getting traffic and it's trickling to other questions as well. We've been taking care of that well too. I think one of my questions got more traffic like 2 days ago

Rainbacon

@ElizB Was it the one about explaining your husband's autism to your family? Because I edited my answer to that one last weekend

ElizB

@Rainbacon no, a different one. it got a r/a answer on it and I read it... the one that did religious proselytizing

Rainbacon

oh yeah, that answer. Sorry you saw that. I tried to get it to disappear before you could see it

ElizB

4:34 PM

@Rainbacon I still went and read it... kinda chuckled because the user did bring up a good point, and I am christian myself... but still, the site isn't for that

Ælis

6:04 PM

@Tinkeringbell There is 4 close vote already if you want to cast the last one? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21836/21067

dhein

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/21844/32 Could someone respond to Nick please? For a) my response wont be as calmas it should be since he triggered me and b) he seems to think he‘s right. So maybe he understands when a 3rd person calmly is explaining. Emphazising calm 🙈

Rainbacon

I'm working on it

But I definitely wouldn't mind having another opinion there. Maybe I'll post my comment here first to get other opinions of it

Here is the comment I'm planning to leave: the reason that I feel that your post does not answer the question, even after you've highlighted parts of it is that all of the things you've highlighted are explaining why the radio might be too loud (which as dhein pointed out is useful information), but you don't ever address the goal of the question which is "How do I ask a friend to turn down the volume"

@dhein does that seem calm enough?

dhein

Would be great. Especially since I to some extend can understand his reaction 🙈

lemme read

Ælis

@Rainbacon That sound good to me :)

I let you post your comment and then I will cast the last delete vote :)

dhein

I agree. Still I think someone not involved should answer it

As he feels already attacked by the 2 of us.

Rainbacon

6:18 PM

On the other hand, a 3rd person jumping in might make him feel ganged up on by the high rep users

I think that sometimes you have to make a choice between upholding the quality of the site and making specific users happy. It's often not possible to do both

dhein

true

but my impression is he has actually good intends

So Id prefer seeing where this might get

Ælis

I posted a comment as well to explain to them why some of the other answers weren't good but still present

dhein

Also his answer isnt that unusefull its just not our format

Lets wait with deleting it a little for now please, tho :x

Rainbacon

@dhein Too late, the last delete vote was already cast

dhein

I see :/

Ælis

6:24 PM

@dhein Did you wanted to say something else? Otherwise, why wait on the deletion?

dhein

Why we even make the effort commenting on it if we just delete it after that? 😅

Ælis

@dhein It can be edited and then undelete ^^ But the question is now close, so edit the answers to it isn't really usefull anymore

dhein

@Ælis Ah I had loved if he would have been able to process the comments first. I mean I had the impression he had good intend. And if he had a few hours to calm and review what we said, he might have a different thought process as if he gets comments, he cant check, thinks he is in the right, feels attacked and then his post gets deleted 🙈

If that makes any sense 😅

Oh can the owner of a force deleted post still se it and its comments?

Ælis

@dhein Yes :)

Tinkeringbell

@Ælis If no-one here in chat thinks it should also be closed... I'll take a look after I've gone through todays anwers :)

dhein

6:30 PM

Ahhhh then nvm what I said. Apparently I dont own any post on SE that was ever done so to x)

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I was on the fence about it, so I didn't vote to close, but I could definitely see the logic behind closing it

@Ælis My rep is now 4599, makes me think it's in an infomercial somewhere

Tinkeringbell

I don't think it's a bad answer though: They use personal experience to back their view up, and the post was after all asking 'should I turn it down myself or ask my friend' which they answered with 'just ask'.

I think this should be undeleted, and the downvotes reversed. We can explain they picked a bad question to write their first answer on, but it's in no way a bad answer, it seems to me to be better following citation guidelines than any other post there!

@dhein @Rainbacon @Ælis any obvious concerns with that?

Rainbacon

Yes, give me a moment to type them all out

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I'm honestly a bit at lost with this answer. It's interesting but lacking interpersonal advice. Also, the question is closed now and I just want this to be settle one way or another ^^'

Rainbacon

@Tinkeringbell I definitely disagree on reversing the downvotes. As I wrote in a meta earlier today, the help center encourages us not to answer bad questions. You've stated that it was a bad question to write a first answer on, which in my mind means that it's a bad question to write an answer on. It is doing a better job of providing citation than the other answers, but that doesn't change the fact that the question should be closed and never should have been answered to begin with

Tinkeringbell

6:45 PM

@Rainbacon Okay. Then how about I undelete the answer, write a nice comment, but then just delete the whole question?

That way we get rid of the other 3 'bad' answers there too, and if the OP sees a way to edit their post they can flag for undeletion :)

Note that I can't reverse downvotes to begin with ;)

Rainbacon

I'm unsure about deleting the whole question. That feels like overkill to me, but at the same time, I understand that it's a bad precedent to delete one answer because it happened to come in a year after we updated our quality standards, but not delete the answers that came in before we updated them.

Mostly, if we delete this question then it might trigger a question level of the same problem. "Why was my old off topic question deleted when these 5 others weren't"

Ælis

@Tinkeringbell I feel like there is no trully good decision here but what you are suggesting seems reasonable enought so I guess I agree with that

Tinkeringbell

Well, there is a flag on one of the other answers there... but like I said, the answer Nick wrote is completely answering the body of the post (okay, perhaps not the question title..) The questions asks:

> Since I'm frequently sitting right next to the radio, I could simply turn it down myself. Is that the best route, or should I ask him to do it?

So I really feel that while you could've asked him to address the title a bit, it's not near bad enough to be deleted.

@Ælis Now I have two conflicting opinions ;)

One says delete the question, the other is okay with having the answer undeleted and leaving the question...

Rainbacon

I've been mentally wrestling with our deletion practices for the last few weeks. It might be worth having a larger discussion about when and why we should be deleting things

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Well, so far y'all have been doing great. Deleting things that don't meet the expectation guidelines is important, especially since we're back on HNQ. It's just that I saw this one and the argument you were having, and find it a real edge-case...

Ælis

6:54 PM

@Tinkeringbell I agree with that. So I'm also okay with undeleting it and leaving the question (as I said, I'm not sure there is a good decision here)

Tinkeringbell

Because the question is essentially asking two things, both a bad fit for the site as it is now, but we don't know which one they're actually asking, and the answer is answering one of them.

Rainbacon

I suppose that I'm ok calling this an edge case and undeleting if you have a sufficient comment for the author.

Tinkeringbell

Also! @user24370 Hi Nick :) I see you've discovered our chat room. I've given you write access for a bit, so you can now talk in here without needing the 20 reputation points usually required. Just so you can chime in on the discussion of your post :)

user24370

Thanks guys... interesting discussion.

Tinkeringbell

Do you understand our dilemma a bit better now? :)

Ælis

7:01 PM

@user24370 Welcome into the awkward chat! :)

user24370

Thanks. And yes it is a bit clearer now.

What I was looking for was an explanation why my answer and all its comments just disappeared so found this chat space.

Tinkeringbell

People voted to delete it. We usually have to with answers that don't really answer the question, and in your case... you really picked one heck of a question to answer for your first one! ;)

user24370

While I appreciate the rules have changed, just having it disappear in front of my eyes while reading Rainbacon's last comment seemed high-handed. There seems to be no straight forward way for novice users to address this.

Tinkeringbell

@user24370 I think @Ælis managed to explain in a comment (after Rainbacon's one) the way to get your answer undeleted.

And you can always see your own posts, even when they are deleted.

dhein

@Tinkeringbell No objections on my site

Tinkeringbell

7:07 PM

@dhein It's already done :)

Rainbacon

unfortunately, I believe you need to click the post to show it again after it gets deleted

user24370

Actually, a novice user can't see a deleted post. It gets greyed out to invisibility, if you happen to be reading it right then. Otherwise, it just disappears with no explanation.

Rainbacon

I'm sorry if your first experiences weren't the most pleasant, particularly since I was part of the reason why. I hope you'll consider sticking around and taking a shot at answering again. I do have to commend you for writing an answer that actually contained personal experience, that's better than most new users do on their first answer

Mithrandir

If you're signed in, you should be able to see your own post if you manually go to the question, at the bottom. It'll have a red-pink background, and should show "deleted by {}" and have a link to the help center.

scohe001

@Mithrandir I believe this user is unregistered if that changes anything

user24370

7:10 PM

I'm not actually signed in... maybe that's the problem

Mithrandir

Yeah that's a problem.

Tinkeringbell

@user24370 Go sign in! It gives you a whole lot of benefits, and you can claim and keep your first 10 reputation points ;)

user24370

One side question if you'll help... Why are StackExchange sites all operating like separate sites, with separate logins, separate reputation counts and so on? Makes it hard for a novice to build up rep

Magisch

@user24370 Because they have different topics and reputation is at least some measure of subject matter expertise

user24370

I suppose that is a fair point

ElizB

7:14 PM

For example, I have only a little rep in GIS.SE but more here because I participated here on IPS more

Rainbacon

Also, they actually function under the same login, but you have to "join" each site individually

Magisch

e.g to be able to vote to close a question while having that mean anything you need to know the subject matter. If network wide rep were shared, I could access every moderation privilege across the network that normal users can, even on sites where I have no earthly clue what they're about

Rainbacon

So if you sign into one site, you'll be signed into all of the ones you've joined

Magisch

I could for instance vote to delete answers on physics.SE, even though I never went above a d+ in high school physics

Tinkeringbell

@avazula interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/q/3024/1599 is perhaps not the best post to link to when asking for backup. It only has two answers, both scoring 1. The citation guidelines are featured, so you can easily find them in the sidebar, and as they codify the policy on backup, are perhaps a better source to link to, to avoid confusing users :)

dhein

7:16 PM

I feel a bit awkward for doing this but I have to pad my self for my people knowledge... Didnt I say Nick is a reasonable guy? 😅

user24370

Fair points all. It's that list of "Hot network questions" that got me to IPS

Rainbacon

@dhein you did, good for you ;)

Tinkeringbell

@user24370 It's a dangerous list. It got me here too :P

Magisch

And tink never left

in fact, she has since been bolted to the site via diamond pin

dhein

@Magisch And I could vote to delete on religious stacks 😈

Rainbacon

7:17 PM

Ooh, I feel special. I found IPS without HNQ (I was literally reading through every single site)

dhein

@Rainbacon Ikr? xP

user24370

:-) Anyway, thanks for all your help, but gotta go. I'll follow the signup link once I get home. Good chatting to you.

ElizB

@user24370 See you around!

Rainbacon

@user24370 Bye! Hopefully we'll see you back soon

dhein

@Tinkeringbell really? :O I think I was one if the first 20(?) subscribing for it. I was like „Darn, such an stack could be so helpfull with my autism...“ And that proofed to be the very case :)

Tinkeringbell

7:19 PM

And uhm... interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/6660/1599 < Isn't that one starting with 'One of my friends' and "I do"? :/

dhein

@user24370 have a nice one

Tinkeringbell

@dhein I missed that, I only joined somewhere in July '17 when it was in public beta.

Before that, I occasionally used SO to help with work, and browsed HNQ and Parenting on the train rides home.

dhein

@Tinkeringbell Checking that one :) Then off to bed :) So wishing you all a good night already :)

ElizB

I was craving a community like @El'endiaStarman had on Christianity, he really enjoyed being a moderator and I didn't really fit in most sites until I found this one

Mithrandir

g'night

dhein

7:23 PM

Btw appreciation to every one! I think we are doing an excellent job in moderating the site so far since being back in the userfloods x)

Mithrandir

@scohe whoops

scohe001

Lol you're chillin. I was scratching my head for a second until I realized what you meant

Mithrandir

Anyway, this was completely unrelated to the HNQ return, it was just that this literally happened an hour ago and I figured it could make an interesting IPS question :p

Sandman

0

A: Sandbox for Proposed Questions

How do I deescalate a situation in which two people are arguing, and other people are calling for them to be banned? online-interaction deescalation I am a member of a Discord server that was created as a place for a community to move to after the place where the community formed was shut dow...

Rainbacon

@Sandman Whoa, 2 sandbox posts in one day

@Tinkeringbell Maybe I was wrong and we should nuke that question...

Tinkeringbell

7:42 PM

I'll keep an eye on it. I think I'll drop a discussion in the moderator chat... we have plenty of bad questions with 'bad answers' lying around, and haven't done much towards cleanup ever. It's a touchy subject, even among moderators.

I personally don't mind cleaning up the bad stuff, but other people are of the opinion that if it's upvoted and has upvoted answers, it really has some value for some people and should never be deleted :/

That being 'closed' sends enough of a message

Rainbacon

I was mostly joking, but it's certainly worth a conversation

Tinkeringbell

@Rainbacon Ah sorry, I missed the joke ;) That means it's close to bedtime ;)

Rainbacon

No, I didn't make it clear enough (my fiancee complains about that A LOT)

El'endia Starman

I usually make such jokes clearer by going overboard with them.

Mithrandir

MAN OVERBOARD

scohe001

7:47 PM

@El'endiaStarman same here. It helps when your scuba gear has a pocket for jokes

ElizB

lolz

El'endia Starman

Rainbacon

@ElizB I also didn't fit in most sites until I found IPS

ElizB

@Rainbacon Yeah, that's what I'm seeing a lot

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell Private beta was a lawless place.

Tinkeringbell

7:55 PM

@Mithrandir I can only imagine what it was like ;)

Rainbacon

@Mithrandir Sometimes public beta feels like a lawless place

scohe001

Lol @Ælis I started reading your comment and thought you were going to tell Mith to call them "Main" and "Meta" :P

Mithrandir

"rainbow" and "bathtub"

Ælis

@scohe001 Yeah, I was thinking of doing that :p But I though that might still have been confusing to some users ^^

@Mithrandir It's better if you can come up with name that doesn't look to much like one another (those two are the same lenght, there is "b" in both and a "a" at the same place)

Mithrandir

I'll see in the morning.

Ælis

8:10 PM

Because there will be light? (okay bad joke :p )

Mithrandir

And at last I'll see the light

...I'm wondering if linking medium.com/@superplane39/… for context would be a good idea

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir Would definitely make clear what you're talking about community wise, but not necessary, I think.

Mithrandir

Yeah. Also... the article is a bit of a bore for anyone who wasn't a part of the site it's talking about :P, don't need to unnecessarily make people read it ;)

Rainbacon

@Mithrandir I found it quite engaging actually

Mithrandir

o_o

Rainbacon

8:25 PM

Perhaps because it gave me nostalgia for the high points of one of my first online communities

Mithrandir

Well then, I'll call that a success. Was supposed to be nostalgic :P

Rainbacon

I think I've told you this before, but you write very well

Mithrandir

Thank you. :D

Termatinator

8:51 PM

@Tinkeringbell hey, got time to look at my question and it's answers?

scohe001

@Termatinator I think Tink may be on the verge of sleep right now, but if you need a mod I think @EmC is probably still around

Rainbacon

Also, there are a few regulars in here such as @scohe001 who could look at your question and answers ;)

scohe001

Ahh I thought it might require mod stuff, but if you just need a pair of eyes, some of the regulars like @scohe001 have a few minutes before their next meeting ;)

Termatinator

@scohe001 @Rainbacon oh it's not in need of a mod, she said that she would look at my question later today, and also if the answers actually did answer the question, if one of you could take a look that would be perfect :)

Rainbacon

@Termatinator I don't have time right this minute (I'm about to head home, make dinner, and then have pre-marriage counseling with my fiancee), but I can look at them later tonight

Termatinator

8:57 PM

sure, whenever you want or have time, I don't mind if you can't of course

Monomeeth

10:03 PM

Hi guys, I'm a Mod on the apple.stackexchange.com site and we have a meta proposal to add a bot in our main chat room. Apparently you guys use a bot here, so I was after your feedback on how well it works, what it does, any concerns, suggestions etc.

Alex

11:17 PM

@Monomeeth What do you want to use it for?

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