My daughter in law has a friend that wants to come for Easter Sunday dinner. Most of the family really doesn't want to be around her. She monopolized the conversation.
I dont want to be rude and hurt her feelings and also I don't want the family to feel awkward.
can't speak to the merits of the answer, but its not spam. The keyword is usually used in supplement / medical spam, so the filter is fine. I've left fp- feedback on it
@avazula If you read the feedback guidelines and make a MS account and then ask, I'm sure an admin will give them to you when they're available to read the request
@AJ It's a very (lame) fun game, where people tie a rope with a nail around their waist, then have to squat over a bottle and somehow manage to wiggle the nail into the bottle :P
@Pyritie this has two issues. 1- frame challenges are okay on IPS granted they explain why the answerer thinks it's impossible for OP to achieve their goal and 2- even if it's a bad frame-challenge, this comment doesn't explain why the answer is bad. "Suggest improvements" implies explanation on what you think could be improved
so no, such comment is not well suited in here
but you can suggest the answerer some edit instead, if you think something is missing or incorrect :)
This question was inspired from a conversation in IPS' main chat.
Regarding the following question:
How to ask ex-girlfriend to seek professional help
It was pointed out that most answers challenge the OP's author intent to convince their ex to seek professional help, saying that it's not to t...
@avazula It looks plenty interesting, though many of the questions are about managing one or more symptoms of being neurodiverse, which I don't really know if it is actually going to be a good fit: We're not psychologists after all :/
So you're probably looking at a site where sharing experience (and backup) is going to be a fight too
@Tinkeringbell Although I totally agree with you, the reality of neurodiversity is that psychologists and healthcare professionals in general do not care that much about ND symptoms :/
I know, I'd imagine it to be as hard to moderate as IPS ... but we're doing a pretty good job, aren't we? :)
@avazula So far, I think we do. Only advice I have for the site (and I guess I'll make the first meta post on it: implement AND ENFORCE a back-up policy from the earliest beginnings). I think one of the major things I felt went wrong with IPS is that I see the backup mentioned from when the site was still in private beta, and people saying 'we shouldn't go out of private beta until we got this down' and then it went out of private beta and on to HNQ :P
Don't reinvent the wheel there, say 'these site have that wheel and we're going to use it too' ;)
@Tinkeringbell Although I'd appreciate you do post the first meta :D, I'm unsure whether we'll actually go to private beta one day :/ it lacks followers and questions too much for that and we're reaching the proposal deadline in a few weeks ...
@avazula Oh, I wasn't here, I only arrived once the site was public and I saw it's questions in HNQ. I caught up on those meta discussions later and felt like 'wow, why didn't they immediately enforce this?' :P
@Tinkeringbell We'll see how it goes. I really wanted to give it a go, I "advertised" it on other cross-topic SE sites, on Facebook groups, on Reddit, I actively comment the question proposals, I don't know if I could do much more
@Tinkeringbell ha okay haha. HNQ brought me here in the first place too :p
@avazula If it does go live, I'll help out :) It's a very interesting topic, though it's going to be really hard to steer it away from what Robert called 'a personal advice forum'...
It's hard too as 'neurodiversity' actually is defines as
> a concept where neurological differences are to be recognized and respected as any other human variation
@avazula That's a good point, though I still don't know if 'neurodiverity' really captures what the site looks like it might be about... Which right now basically looks like 'dealing with specific symptom/disorder'
@Tinkeringbell I love dancing, which is why I go out to such events sometimes. Otherwise I like to go out to a bar with my friends and drink beers but the ambient noise really is overwhelming and I need to unwind the next two days :p
I think I don't know how to dress or act in a "normal", socially acceptable way. I hardly ever wear makeup and I would wear man pants to go grocery shopping (yay, pockets!)
@Tinkeringbell My mom used to say "I never get annoyed in the streets because I look serious/mean". I realized I unconsciously do the same :p which is why I now smile all the time, I guess (except to strangers)
@Magisch I don't mind (anymore?) not being hit on, I have a partner and am happy in my exclusive relationship. It just used to strike me as "hey, why's that people don't talk to you the way they talk to your girl friends?"
This question was inspired from a conversation in IPS' main chat.
Regarding the following question:
How to ask ex-girlfriend to seek professional help
It was pointed out that most answers challenge the OP's author intent to convince their ex to seek professional help, saying that it's not to t...
I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I find myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online.
Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on it and I would really like to show it to my family (via a group conversation that we have).
How...
@Ælis Well, to me you don't explain in the question why it's related to it, even though I think I see where you're going (but that's because I know you :p)
@Ælis While many members of the trans community do change their name, is your decision related to that at all? I imagine you would like insight from people who have done this before but their experience and yours may not be parallel.
@Ælis I know. I wouldn't have done this if I were in their shoes but I think that if you want to rollback you may have to tell a bit more about your lgbt experience and how queer relates to your experience
They lose their deadname because it is strictly attached to their old gender. They also aren't usually compromising with family members who continue to deadname them.
But, the name change is a small and highly nuanced aspect of the process for members of the trans community and the approach they use to deal with it may not relate to you
@Ælis why's that? I think you were in your absolute right of writing this. That I'm saying is that maybe you could tell a bit more about where you feel you stand on the gender spectrum and that it might partly explain your discomfort with your birth name (if that's what you meant)?
@avazula But what if I don't want to explain that? Should saying "I'm transgender" be an absolute requirement for using the lgbt+ tag? If it's relevant enough, can't people just use it without saying that? And why saying "I'm transgender" make the tag finally relevant when it wasn't before?
@Ælis what your notice said before is that you added the tag because you thought LGBT+ people could relate to your issues, not that your question was about LGBT+. The tag definition says that it's used "where issues of sexuality, gender, or lack there of, are central to the question", but in that case you're not saying that you'd like to tell your relatives you're going by another name because of gender matters
@AElis I understand why you used it. I also understand why it was cut out. I would finally also understand why you'd choose to rollback. It was just my opinion about why it was cut out :)
You will get better answers if the answerers know that this is where the name change comes from and that you need to be careful about how you present the name change
Are you afraid to identify in the question itself?
I didn't want to have to tell people "hey, I'm trans" in the question. But I guess I have to do it anyway if I want good answers (the first two aren't that great IMO)
I understand that. I'm just not sure there's a way around that. But yes, the tag absolutely applies. The person who edited it out had no way of knowing that, as I didn't when I started this conversation.
@Ælis Is your goal about telling your mom you don't like your birth name (as stated in your question) or is it about avoiding a potential crisis? I'm sorry if I make you feel misunderstood but I have an idea of an answer but that would address the second point solely
@Ælis (just saw your edit) if you're uncomfortable doing this caveat you're not obliged to tell people about it, you know. IPS is supposed to be a safe place
@Ælis I just saw :) I think it invalidates my answer then because it may feel a lie to your. Best of luck anyway dear ♥ you're wonderful no matter what name you go by
No, they have this homemade horseradish sauce they sell at the market stand outside the grocer (there's always farmers selling homemade stuff there), and I thought why the hell not, turns out that sauce while delicious is way too hot to be useful outside of using like fruity tabasco
Today, I asked this question: How do I tell my mother that I don't like my name?
I added the lgbt+ on it with the following explanation:
I put the lgbt+ tag because changing name is a common issue among the trans community.
A moment later, the tag was removed and, when I asked in chat, peo...
@BKlassen the comments under this post isn't the place to discuss policy as recommended by SE in their 'Good Subjective' blog post. Questions aren't hypothetical and we aren't interested in anyone saying 'here's what I would do', like the post states. Precisely because it doesn't make strong answers, it doesn't make answers at all, just opinions on how someone thinks they would act and what the hypothetical outcome will be. To help people use their discretion a little bit better than 'this feels right', we require more than hypothetical outcomes in answer, we require some evidence they work. — Tinkeringbell ♦1 min ago
@EmC Oh yeah, be careful to not mess with me, I have access to the NSA data and I know all of your secrets! (like the fact that your real name isn't EmC!)
...I considered putting stuff like docs.google.com/document/d/… on Medium, but I decided that I should put it somewhere else but haven't decided where yet.
(Which reminds me that I never went back and polished that.)
So basically I plan on putting actual articles on Medium, and other writing elsewhere.
@Mithrandir Look into paramedic uniforms. They have so many utility pockets that a cargo pant lover would be in heaven and presumably they would manufacture them for paramedics of smaller stature.
This question was inspired from a conversation in IPS' main chat.
Regarding the following question:
How to ask ex-girlfriend to seek professional help
It was pointed out that most answers challenge the OP's author intent to convince their ex to seek professional help, saying that it's not to t...
I don't like my name, I never had. Recently, I find myself a new name that I really love and I have started using it online.
Now, the thing is that I just received a (nice) mug with my "new name" on it and I would really like to show it to my family (via a group conversation that we have).
How...
