The Awkward Silence

7:18 AM

0

Q: Does apology to avoid a tiff make you a better person?

If you apologize to avoid a possible tiff/conflict with another person, does that make both of you better persons. Case: In a road traffic scenario, there was a confusion between me and another car driver. There was a heated exchange of words before we went our ways. If I had apologized instead ...

avazula

8:09 AM

Good day everyone!

A J

@avazula good day!

Mithrandir

*tired wave*

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Communicate, that the impression I made at a party was misleading

On Monday I celebrated New Years Eve with a group of people I have never seen before because a good friend of mine invited me to go there with her. Since I'm very shy towards strangers, I was pretty quiet the whole time. Aside from that one friend who invited me, I've never seen anyone before. He...

friends friend-groups parties anxiety shyness

JAD

Happy new year y'all

Mithrandir

that has got to be the oddest typo I've ever seen anyone make

avazula

9:56 AM

→ 7 messages moved to Trash

IPS Comment Bot

10:22 AM

-1 Nowhere does it say that OPs girlfriend thinks anything she did was a mistake (why would she?). Recommending OP to just assume how his girlfriend feels seems like bad advice. Also -1 for MRA nonsense about alphas, slutshaming, etc. And finally -1 for the "science" from clearly biased sources. Random graphs from dubious sources is not what science is, and as you point out, the graphs don't really say anything. — tim 2 mins ago

Matched regex(es) ["+1", "chatty"]

Noon

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

avazula

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 2tps/0fps

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Wife wants me to be happy (or act happy) all the time

My wife and I have been together around 20 years, and for the most part, we have an excellent relationship. However ... Like anyone else (I suppose) I get tired, depressed, gloomy every once in a while. When this happens, I'm not nice to be around -- I don't yell or get violent, but I'm impatien...

family anger

ThZ

11:07 AM

I'm a bit curious, is there someone from the USA here??

avazula

@ThZ @sphennings is, IIRC, as well as @Ash

There's Catija too, but most of our US people are currently AFK it seems

ThZ

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/10855/22642 I find this answer very wrong, from several sides. Even if USA is big and there are tons of different opinion, I'm very curious to know if this is common thinking? (aka the "alpha males" vs "normal dudes" like "be a real male", or the part he describes his view on girls). I know it might be pretty subjective but I could maybe use a second opinion?

@avazula thanks!

Noon

Anyone here to try to explain to them that, even though they edited, there question is still not a good fit for IPS? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/20482/21067

avazula

11:22 AM

@Noon I'll handle it

Noon

@avazula Your way of writing this look absolutely badass :p (thank you wonderful)

avazula

@Noon Of course, I'm badass :p (you're welcome bella)

ThZ

@Noon I was thinking the same!! Damn, I wouldnt want to be on your way!!

avazula

@ThZ Unless you're in western France you should be okay :p

Noon

@avazula Ahah, you definitively are!

ThZ

11:26 AM

@avazula oh god

Noon

@avazula Seems like @Tink was quicker than you!

ThZ

@avazula I'm in trouble

avazula

@Noon Heh. I'm a busy woman today ¯_(ツ)_/¯

@ThZ Really? haha

ThZ

@avazula i'm already hiding, you won't find me ._.

avazula

@ThZ Well there's nothing to be afraid of then haha

Noon

11:29 AM

@avazula Well, that's good news then, it means you aren't bored!

avazula

@Noon Indeed, I'm not! :hap:

Noon

Yay \o/

avazula

I hope it'll stay that way for now on o/

(It actually looks bad for this afternoon but ssh!) haha

Noon

I hope for you too :)

@avazula I'm currently having some trouble with ssh key. Your "ssh" did confused me :p

avazula

@Noon Errh :( Git issues?

Noon

11:32 AM

@avazula Yep. I know how to solve it but I don't have the access right to do so ^^

avazula

Eeeerh. That sucks.

ThZ

@Noon did you try another key? maybe a LOUD one

. . .

Noon

@ThZ XD

avazula

@ThZ Now I wonder whether that's a joke on the volume or if there's such thing like ssh LOUD keys

Noon

@avazula Hopefully, someone will take care of it this afternoon and I won't have to code without being able to test anymore

ThZ

11:34 AM

@avazula ofc there are! Mostly used by rude people

avazula

@Noon o/

ThZ

well it was a joke, to be honest I don't know much about ssh, shame on me

avazula

@ThZ are you still a student ?

That's funny, three frenchies chatting together in TAS. Doesn't happen very often

ThZ

@avazula sadly not. I'm meant to be a security expert ahah! I know how to use it, a few basics about it. but not how it really works

Noon

@avazula Frogs are taking over the awkward silence!

avazula

11:40 AM

@ThZ hah, okay. Well the only thing to be known about those is that they're a pain in the coconut when it comes to authentificating and Git stuff

ThZ

@avazula yea funny indeed! I met a turkish girl recently, I can't describe her surprise when she saw I could speak some decent english! I guess I was the first one???

avazula

@ThZ We're a rare species xD

@Noon kroak kroak

^ that's the sound of my frog

ThZ

@avazula she made some big eyes!!Like who's that guy? He can't be french

Noon

@avazula Your frog does make a weird sound. The French frogs I know are making "croa croa"

avazula

@Noon Mine has a deep voice

It's the years of smoking, like a good French haha

ThZ

11:42 AM

Mine is more like, Booooap, Boooap, coming from deeper on the mouth

well

came up nasty, but it wasnt meant to

avazula

:o shocked

Noon

So, we all have a different frog voice XD

avazula

@Noon We should make a band!

ThZ

I guess I have a lot of room from improvment!! you told what I wanted to tell, but in a much better way haha

Mithrandir

RIBBIT

avazula

11:44 AM

@Mithrandir It took me 4 seconds to understand xD

ThZ

Ok i'm up to be the drum guy!!!

going to get some food, see you later frogg fellows

Noon

@Mithrandir I had to use google translate for this XD

@ThZ See you later drum frog!

avazula

@ThZ Have a nice meal pal

Mithrandir

o_o people don't know the sound frogs make? :P

avazula

@Mithrandir not the English sound. It's so far from the French sound we're used to ... :p

Noon

11:48 AM

@Mithrandir Frogs don't speak the same language in every country. French frogs absolutely don't use the "Ribbit" word! (they use "croac croac" instead)

avazula

1:01 PM

→ 6 messages moved to Trash

A J

@avazula avatar = new pic() ;)

avazula

@AJ Yup. After this one I stop, I promise :p

A J

@avazula lol. no need.

It reminds me I need to change the avatar too since Winter Bash has ended,

avazula

@AJ yeah, I saw that! I'm kinda sad it ended ._.

A J

avatar change is done

@avazula I was 1st Networkwide, 2nd on IPS and Movies & TV last year, but this year, I am 17th networkwide, 2nd on Movies and 4th on IPS.

avazula

1:09 PM

There you are

@AJ o_o It seems that you inspired quite a lot of people to follow your lead on the hat conquest :p

Noon

@AJ I was 1st on IPS \o/ (and 27 networkwide I think)

A J

@avazula LOL. Did I really? :P

Noon

@AJ Also, nice to see you back. I still wasn't use to your other avatar ^^

A J

TBH, I lost interest in half-way.

avazula

How do you guys know your ranking?

A J

1:13 PM

@avazula winterbash2018.stackexchange.com/leaderboard

First is network-wide

and rest you can see site-wise

avazula

wooh

A J

Only Alecxe made it to hat podium from last year. Me and David didn't.

Hat-trick for Alecxe I guess.

Farewell, Winter Bash 2017!

Abby T. Mars on January 10, 2018

Last week, we bid farewell to Winter Bash and packed our Greatest Hats back into their boxes. It’s always a little sad to see the hats get put away for the year, but I always like to soothe my sorrows by reminiscing. (It’s only been a week and I’m nostalgic already.)

These hat shots came from the MSE community. Check them all out here!

The very first hat to be earned was Foot of the Rainbow, earned by Eran on Stack Overflow mere minutes after the event began. The first secret hat (spoiler alert) was awarded almost immediately thereafter: Ooh, Shiny! went to Olaf, also on Stack Overflow. A whoppi …

Here are the winners of WB 2017.

Extroverted Main Man

1:26 PM

1

Q: How to make my girl buy me gifts without sounding needy?

I've been with this girl for 2 years now. Got to say it's been great for me because I actually love her and I have a feeling she does reciprocate those same sentiments. We moved in together at the end of last year and socially, we are fine. We are both earning our lives well and I even brought he...

relationships conflict-aversion united-kingdom gifts

avazula

^ waaaat? haha

Oh Cash, should I had the time to answer this I'd have talk to the author about the different love languages (and how their GF is likely not speaking the "gift giving language" hahaha)

A J

Some do, some don't.

avazula

Indeed. Do you? :)

A J

I mean some girls give gifts to their boyfriends, some don't.

avazula

Huh. I thought about it in a more generic way, like "you may like to express your affection through gift giving while others may do it in other ways"

A J

1:54 PM

@avazula Ohh. Then I do.

avazula

hehe. I do too, I guess? My SO complains I give them too many gifts haha

A J

2:08 PM

@avazula lol

Then he must have a cupboard full of your gifts. ;)

avazula

@AJ He does

A J

I prefer edible gifts. ;)

Or sometimes electronic item

user15026

2:23 PM

@avazula nope I'm Canadian

avazula

@Ash Oops, my bad. I wasn't sure in which direction it goes, whether you're an American in Canada or the other way around :)

user15026

Neither, I am Canadian in Canada

avazula

@Ash Ooh, I got it wrong then. Sorry :)

user15026

No worries

ThZ

3:14 PM

Is this possible to add a category in the sorting of question (newest, frequent, vote) etc ? If so, would it be discussed in the meta IPS?

Is it*

avazula

@ThZ Mmh. 1: I guess you could, but you would need to write a script for that. 2: Or else you think it'd benefit the community, then If you want to discuss the utility of a new sorting category, I'd suggest you go to meta instead, as this would benefit (and be used) network wide

Em C

@ThZ this is already a thing on the questions page, or did you mean something different?

ThZ

@avazula Ok thanks!

@EmC Yea I mean discussing on the possibility on adding a new one

avazula

@ThZ what are you looking for?

Em C

@ThZ ohh, ok. what category would you want?

ThZ

3:26 PM

@avazula Well, even if people don't always do proper actions to edit their questions so it's possibly open again, I often find it's a waste and there are some good questions raw material a bit wasted away for some of the (understandable and meaningful) rules of the site.

When they are on hold, the questions are quickly unattended/forgotten and ultimately closed after the time limit. I've made a few edit myself and at least one have lead to re-open. Maybe an "On hold" sorting category could help giving attention to questions who need help on editing? I understand it probably induces some more works for mods :[ But also some help for people unable to edit the way the site require?

Noon

@ThZ Maybe what you need is to make a ips meta post about "how to have more questions re-opened?" (I'm sure there is things we can do before requesting some development help)

avazula

^ +1

ThZ

@Noon fair enough

avazula

Oh darn I just understood why you changed your pic and adopted a frog

ThZ

at some point you must accept your condition, so you can embrace life

4

Em C

3:35 PM

@ThZ so something like this search? ;) (I know that's not the same as having a tab on the page, but it could be a useful bookmark in the meantime :))

Noon

@ThZ Nice new avatar! XD

ThZ

@EmC I guess... But my point is, maybe the "On hold" Status would have more meaning if it was looked into a bit more? It might be stupid but, even the fact that "closed" and "on hold" are the same category ("closed:yes") is meaningfull!

@Noon thanks Noon! I took this picture of myself moments ago. I'm an humble frog, but hey I look gorgeous on this one.

@EmC Thanks anyway for the tip :)

Noon

@ThZ You sure do! You also look very peacefull on this. It's nice to see you with such a calm and confident face :p

Em C

@ThZ yeah, "closed" is just "has been on hold for 5 days".. I guess what you want is supposed to be served by the reopen queue, plus if it's not too negatively scored any edits will bump to the homepage so others would hopefully notice it. but I agree with Noon and ava, figuring out how to get eyes on such questions so OP knows what edits to make would be a good meta post :)

avazula

I'm looking on a way to get such posts with data.SE

Em C

3:45 PM

(personally I watch the homepage and Closet, if the OP hasn't returned to say anything or make edits, there's not much we can do..)

ThZ

@Noon Don't get fooled by my evident softness. That's a predator picture you're looking at :O

@EmC I'll make a question about that soon

avazula

@ThZ What is it exactly that you wanna get? On hold questions, that's it?

Noon

@avazula Did you saw Emc link?

@ThZ Are you poisonous? :O

avazula

@Noon yup?

They don't exclude closed questions sadly

there are queries on data.SE for getting on hold posts

Like this one

Noon

@avazula Yes but they are sorted by "active" so the "on hold" are at the top

avazula

3:48 PM

@Noon Haaa

ThZ

@avazula yes something like, "On hold" questions with at least X scores, or something similar

avazula

@ThZ well the link I gave above does this for you

ThZ

@Noon deadly on my skin but also, deadly with my grabbing skills.

Noon

@ThZ Does this help?

@ThZ :O I'm glad I'm a tree. I would be afrais otherwise!

@ThZ Sort by activity is better, see here: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/…

ThZ

@Noon Yes :) My purpose here was more to see if the people on IPS would thinks it could benefits in general

Noon

3:54 PM

@ThZ Honestly, I agree that we don't reopen often, but I don't think that what you are suggesting will help

ThZ

@Noon petponder.com/what-do-tree-frogs-eat "Tree frogs are mostly nocturnal, but they may hunt during daytime, if they feel really hungry." Idk why I wanted to quote that.. But I guess I just did

@Noon yes I figure this, but maybe someone will have a more adequate idea^^

more adequate than mine

Noon

@ThZ Well then, write your ips meta question about "how to have more reopened question" and we will see if someone does ^^

ThZ

@Noon I need to make some wor[..umh] some frog research before, but its on my schedule :]

Noon

Glad to hear :)

ElizB

4:47 PM

Good morning y'all :)

ThZ

4:57 PM

@ElizB Good evening!!

ElizB

@ThZ lolz. No matter how many times I see that, it still amazes me that I am talking to someone that's really far away from me and possibly speaks another language.

ThZ

@ElizB Booooap boooooaaap

@ElizB what language do you suspect here?

ElizB

@ThZ hmm, not sure. nonsense language?

ThZ

@ElizB It's my frog sound

ElizB

Ah, gotcha.

ThZ

5:02 PM

@ElizB well it's funny we're talking, stranger so far away

ElizB

yeah...

ThZ

the funny part for me is, there is a slight possibility, one day we "meet" in the street, and obviously won't recognize ourselves

yeah, true.

<- I look like this

Yeah, good to know.

5:48 PM

0

Q: How can I ask my brother to stop saying "future sister in law" when referring to his girl of interest?

My older brother has a habit of cheerfully saying "sister in law?" to me when he gets excited about a girl he's talking to- currently he is engaged for the second time but still says "your future sister in law" when referring to her while talking to me. He's introduced 5 girls/girlfriends and 1 e...

united-states conflict-aversion siblings

ElizB

8:41 PM

Seems pretty quiet when I'm in here... Holidays are not quite over, it seems. Or people are very focused on work...

scohe001

Party time?

Em C

today for me has mostly been trying to figure out what the heck I was doing before the holidays :P

Mithrandir

Today was a photoshoot day. :P

ElizB

I wish. I'm working on internship stuff but I'm in and out of my home today, I'm going out again in 15 minutes for a 30 minute tutoring session with someone that has no knowledge of language to teach them sign language. funsies... lol it's interesting.

basically pointing at stuff and showing the sign. "cup", "water", "bathroom", "living room", "bedroom", etc

Mithrandir

Huh. That sounds interesting and difficult. Good luck!

ElizB

8:46 PM

Thanks, me and my mom already have met with him three times so far, and it's been interesting so far... he's a deaf immigrant from a middle eastern country, and he's just been living on gestures and stuff it seems... no language...

user15026

@ElizB Oh, that has to be rough :(

ElizB

@Ash yeah but here's the kicker... he's such a happy, positive guy regardless of all that shit happening!

it's really unbelievable how positive and smiley and happy he is

then after that I have errands with hubby to do, then the rest of the evening should be just chill. I'm looking forward to getting Howl's Moving Castle (studio Ghibli) again and seeing it again. It's the first Ghibli film we saw together, and i was really impressed.

Extroverted Main Man

9:23 PM

0

Q: How to deal with fear of death in a relationship?

I've been in a relationship with someone for the past few years. I am afraid of growing older while being in this relationship because I don't want to be the only one of us waking up one day. This fear has become so bad that I'm considering ending the relationship and not be in a relationship dur...

relationships fear

scohe001

If you gave stuff away this holiday season and you maybe kinda like SE swag, don't forget to tell Tim about it!! meta.stackexchange.com/q/321399/232439

4

Em C

@scohe001 ooh that's a great idea for a contest :D

scohe001

9:40 PM

Right! Perfect for this time of year where everyone is in a giving mood and they all have way too much junk :p

Em C

haha yeah. I spent a chunk of yesterday going through our many piles of boxes and making piles of stuff to trash / donate / sell, shredding a bunch of stuff.. fun times

scohe001

Ohhh boy. Out with the old, in with the new. At least you just moved pretty recently right? So hopefully there wasn't too much to clean up/get rid of?

Em C

hahahahhhh... xP

it's probably worse because I moved in with SO, which means we have 2x the kitchen stuff and such.. and we both have hobbies that involve a lot of "stuff" (he's into board games, I'm into crafts, we both have mostly non-intersecting sets of art supplies).. and extremely limited closet space :P

user15026

@ElizB I love that movie.

scohe001

@EmC oh no. Spring cleaning's gonna be a big one for you this year then :p

Em C

10:00 PM

@scohe001 that's the plan :)

ElizB

@Ash yeah :)

Sooooo.... turns out the guy wasn't home and left his phone at home. so i left 15 minutes after i arrived...

Tinkeringbell

10:50 PM

6

A: Announcing Our Amazing 2018 Stuff-A-Way!

Some of you may already know that I like crocheting stuff, A LOT. This all started back when I was in University. The owner of the Textile Research Centre came by and taught us a course on archaeological textiles. She ended her class with the message that 'you're welcome to drop by, and help out'...

If anyone wonders what I do with my crocheted stuff ;)

scohe001

I love it! I was hoping you'd actually make the post about donating a 'w' though :P

Tinkeringbell

Ehh. One of my pet peeves to the previous contest (the one about Time) was that there were so many answers cluttering stuff up. I like focusing on the actual contest a bit more ;)

It would've been fun, but also defeated the purpose of the contest. I'm still not sure if we're supposed to write about stuff we did last year :P Some people just pointed out it may actually be only about stuff you're still going to do ;)

scohe001

@Tinkeringbell fair enough. Doesn't mean you can't slip something in about a generous 'w' at the end of your post tho :p

Mithrandir

I wrote about something I did around 3 hours before the contest was created...

scohe001

Yeaaa Monica had that question on the main post. I feel like there are waaaay too many posts now about stuff from last year to fix the scope though

Tinkeringbell

10:59 PM

I know where the delete button is :P

It would only need pressing 31 times, less if someone start at the bottom answers and we work towards each other :P

scohe001

Oh that's true. You have all the delete buttons at your disposal now O_O

I forgot how deep your power has reached

Tinkeringbell

Right. And with that thought, I'm going to leave you. Night! :)

Mithrandir

\o

Pseudohuman

o/

Noon

@Mithrandir I must say, I really love your post and what you do for those people. Giving money or other goods is easy, giving time need much more effort IMO

Mithrandir

11:02 PM

^.^

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