The Awkward Silence

2:22 AM

→ 9 messages moved to Trash

2:37 AM

Got some weird feedback in a review today. Kind of like this scenario, except if I were the employee being complained about: askamanager.org/2009/06/… In both IRL and the scenario, my first thought is "you're the problem; you need to get more better" where "you" would be other people IRL, or the manager who is complaining in the scenario. Where do I go from there?

2:50 AM

@YetAnotherRandomUser hmm.. well from a workplace standpoint, knowing your audience and tailoring your speech appropriately is an important skill, but did they give you any specific examples?

I agree, and I have worked over the years to tailer such a skill. No examples, and aside from 1 problem-child int he office that everyone has issues with, I feel I have good rapport with the people I work with

@EmC I was able to ascertain that my boss is highly projective and whimsical, but it sounded like he was referring to complaints levvied against me.

huh, weird indeed! I guess I would start by asking for some examples then, if you're not sure why they're giving that feedback. (in a "hey, I would like to improve, can you help me" way, not a "prove it" way, of course :P)

Yeah, I did. None were given. :-/

oh, dang

and now I've been tasked with reading articles, watching videos, etc. Oh, and I have to go find some useful stuff to improve myself. No suggestions or directions given. #cantMakeThisUp

2:54 AM

what sort of communication do you have to do for your job? maybe you could observe how others do it?

or maybe, ask other people for feedback.. but of course if they don't think there's a problem that might not work :P

Short calls, emails, social media like posts to a project management platform. I'm a programmer working with design engineers, project managers, and sales people, and sometimes the client

seems like most of this SE and interpersonal.SE are "I'm a programmer and these other people are retarded because reasons....."

:(

there do seem to be a lot of programmers here, probably because many of them find the network through SO

and the people asking questions are here to learn how to improve their people skills ;)

I'm a programmer too, fwiw :) started my current job ~5 months ago, definitely still feeling out how to talk to all the different types of people at my new place

The most problems show up regarding email. People complain about things that are too long, complicated, etc. But it's a technical discussion or summary.

After analyzing the source, the person complaining usually has atrocious, maybe just sometimes poor, literacy, or just bad reading/writing comprehension.

I strongly suspect it's a mechanism to cover for their own weakness, which they clearly are aware of. Kind of like the manager int hat article: he was clearly implying that his employee was smarter and mroe capable than him, but doing so in a way to garner sympathy from other "average…

Also, this particular niche industry has few certifications, and they're not a very high bar, and the tech isn't that complicated either, and has somehow positioned itself into a construction mindset. Think commercial IoT type stuff for lack of a better term.

what I'm getting at is there isn't a high bar for entry and the hump of the bell curve is lower that usual and people don't right good

interestingly, this problem doesn't manifest when I communicate with clients, only with people at the company I work with, or people from similar companies

oh, I remember reading your question now

how to write shorter emails?

iirc that got removed

3:07 AM

this one, it's closed but iirc won't be deleted since upvoted answers

oh, well, removed... closed.... pretty close. I guess I remembered it wrong

the problem is, if I tell anyone that the herpaderf machine needs to crumpledump according to Budweiser D. Luffy's 3rd principal, well, then I'm an arrogant a-hole and talkign above people's heads

yeah, that sounds frustrating :/

personally I tend to err on the side of less details if I'm not sure how technical the person is I'm talking to, I figure if they need / want to know more they can ask

It still feeds the "It's too long troll. I had that after the table of contents by the way. — YetAnotherRandomUser 1 min ago

dhein

5:38 AM

Morning :)

+1 because I've been told exactly this before. There is nothing innately bad about saying that you prioritize reading and watching television over interacting with family members. But they are allowed to, and almost certainly will, react to your priorities. And in this situation, their reactions are unlikely to be positive. — BasementJoe 59 secs ago

#20265 BasementJoe (124 rep) | A: How to explain that I rather do something else than go to a social event? (score: 5) | posted 30 hours ago by L.S. Cooper (161 rep) | Toxicity 0.19696833 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1"]

dhein

@IPSCommentBot tp

Q: Need help with co-worker interactions

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

Extroverted Main Man

5:55 AM

0

I would like some guidance in this arena. My boss is a pretty toxic individual toward me. She has treated me poorly in meetings such as laughing at a suggestion I made that was not in a joking manner, made judgements about me and perceptions that are not true, reprimanded me for no reason, treats...

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