The Awkward Silence

Em C

12:28 AM

→ 8 messages moved to Trash

Extroverted Main Man

12:42 AM

0

Q: How to keep/make peace between others?

I am close to person A. I have a neutral relationship with person B. A and B don't like each other. On scale from 0:Hate<---->10:BFF let's say their relationship is a 3. Each has some legitimate and some irrational grievances. It's in my interest that things don't get worse. It's i...

Extroverted Main Man

5:06 AM

0

Q: How do I get my friends to understand that I won't be social ALL the time and tolerate their scoff when I say 'I'm studying'

For a few months, I've been going out to wherever they've called. Spent money on food outside, had drinks with these folks. I have my exams coming up. Everytime I get a text saying 'Hey, what's up! Wanna hangout?', I've told them 'I'm studying' or 'I'm handling a group project'. For which I would...

friends boundaries difficult-people friend-groups personal-space

dhein

7:35 AM

@Cashbee Thanks for noting on that. To be honest, I consider my selfawareness my strongest trait :)

Good morning

o/

Pseudohuman

\o

Noon

9:07 AM

@Tinkeringbell Do you have some meta link about why it's important to close too broad question? Because I still don't understand why we should close them and it's bothering me

Journeyman Geek

@Noon it should kinda be covered in help

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/dont-ask

Practically - it's just impossible to answer at some point

Noon

@JourneymanGeek Yeah but if OP is aware of that, what is the point of closing? Maybe someone as a good answer and closing the question will prevent this person from answering. So why closing?

Journeyman Geek

9:23 AM

@Noon if op is aware they shouldn't be asking overbroad questions

They can then scope down the question

There's always the option of meta, flags or asking a mod on chat to reopen if you can make a case to reopen

Noon

I understand your reasoning but I still don't understand why too broad question should be closed. What exactly is the problem with them? Do they decrease site quality or something?

Extroverted Main Man

9:44 AM

0

Q: Is it rude to pay someone for a gift you received?

If I receive a gift from a friend, with a value of around $60. Is it rude if I then insist on paying them back the $60?

etiquette gifts

A J

@Noon Ideally, questions should specify an adequate problem to solve. Initially, in case of SO, the main motto behind that too broad questions are too hard to search so such questions are less likely to help future users. Besides this, too broad questions invite too many partial answers.

Journeyman Geek

10:02 AM

@Noon if you understood my reasoning you would understand what's the problem with them :p

It's worth remembering that the SE model was designed around fairly focused programming questions and slowly extended. If it's broad , it can often be broken down into more discrete chunks

IPS Comment Bot

12:02 PM

The way you describe these people and their activities makes me wonder if 1. you want them to keep beeing your friends and 2. you ever want to join activities again. Did you answer they can stop rolling eyes because you are serious? Did you already tell them there is no need to call because you already told them your plans? — puck 1 min ago

#20102 puck (1243 rep) | Q: How do I get my friends to understand that I won't be social ALL the time and tolerate their scoff when I say 'I'm studying' (score: 2) | posted 7 hours ago by Abhishek Babuji (133 rep) | Toxicity 0.069290556 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

You should explain why you want to do that and which situation you and they are in that makes you want to do that. — puck 47 secs ago

#20104 puck (1243 rep) | Q: Is it rude to pay someone for a gift you received? (score: 0) | posted 2 hours ago by Timmy T (1 rep) | Toxicity 0.07306295 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic(@Noon)"]

dhein

2:17 PM

@Noon On other sites, usually the point of „too broad“ is meant for questions asking for concepts or that alike where a full answer covering the full thematic would have the extend that one had to write a book about it. That makes totally sense. But yeh, we aparently here take that a bit more strict. I could imagine, we do this, as questions for IPS generally tempt to be of conceptual nature. So there has a line to be drawn.

I might be wrong, tho. As I don‘t want to point out again that I have trouble with getting our current borders being drawn as they are. :x

Tinkeringbell

2:57 PM

@Noon meta.stackexchange.com/q/184154/369802 has the 'original' text for when too broad, unclear and primarily opinion based were implemented. Currently, it just reads:

> Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question.

The original was:

> There are either too many possible answers, or good answers would be too long for this format. Please add details to narrow the answer set or to isolate an issue that can be answered in a few paragraphs.

I think right now, the current wording of too broad may make it very similar to 'unclear what you're asking'.

Both are asking for more details.

So both get used on IPS to close questions that lack a certain amount of details, details we need to understand what is being asked or what is expected of an answer.

Why they should be closed? Because there's limits to the amount of characters we can use to answer something, and we always said we need enough details to be able to answer people.

I think your best bet is too look at the 'How do I write a good question' meta post, and reverse engineer from there (it has links to past discussions that will show you how/why we came to the conclusion that certain details need to be present).

So yeah, if a question is too broad, if it lacks details... it needs to be closed, commented on, edited, and reopened before it gets answers that miss the point.

dhein

4:08 PM

Weekends are soooo boring at my place 🙈

Anyone up for some chitchat?😅

dhein

4:42 PM

By the way, does anyone know if a fritzbox has some sort of default machine learning port/page blocking setup? The pension I am currently in provides a fritzbox sign in WLAN. It blocks a lot of ports and websites, tho.

Yesterday I asked the hosts, if that is actually intended. And they reacted like „No that can‘t be, that must then be due to signal strength. Did you check if your signal has enough bars?“ They told me they will check tho if there is anything like that configured.

It sounds legit to me, as they dont really seem very technic affine anyways. Ironically, today when I was visiting a site that was accessable before, it is now blocked, too.

Any ideas what might be the cause? Or should I make an IPS question, asking „How to tell my host his wifi is not set up correctly without setting them off?“ 😅

A J

@dhein bed time for me

dhein

@AJ shuk. Too bad for me. Sleep tight then :)

Em C

5:03 PM

@dhein heh, sounds like you might try a question on SU (?) first :P

I have no idea what a fritzbox is >.>

I have been spending my morning in a rabbit hole of academic studies on marriage and gender, thanks to someone asking me to back up a comment I made elsewhere (it doesn't just happen on IPS! ;P)

user15026

@EmC Sounds interesting!

Em C

5:19 PM

it is! the discussion that sparked this was whether men and women live longer if they're married

tl;dr men who marry younger women live longer, but women who marry with an age difference (either direction) actually have increased mortality rates

Nog Shine

@EmC if it is IPS, we would get reports from @IPSCommentBot :)

Em C

seems like most research was just looking at the data for men so they were like "younger partner helps you live longer, yup, makes sense".. but then they looked at it for women and were like ".. well, hmmm"

@NogShine hehe, I'm pretty sure I'm whitelisted though ;)

user15026

@EmC how much of an age difference?

Em C

@Ash any, but worse for women who marry younger men (here's the summary article which has some graphs)

I'm really curious if they came up with a theory to explain it, but I haven't had any luck finding follow-up papers :(

user15026

@EmC My husband is two years older than me, so that's why I am curious :)

Em C

5:33 PM

@Ash heh yeah, mine is 8 years older.. fortunately, they do say marriage in general still raises life expectancy over being single so I guess we still come out ahead? xD

user15026

I'll take it!

Nog Shine

5:54 PM

@EmC I thought you are a male. Sorry for that.

Em C

@NogShine no worries :)

Nog Shine

General reason they say while checking matches is the difference when the husband and wife become mature (physically). It has to do with organ development. I believe this has some relation with mortality rate too.

@Ash 2 years is as same as equal. So, no worries.

@EmC Albert Einstein tricked me ;)

user15026

@NogShine Aww good :)

Extroverted Main Man

6:12 PM

0

Q: What should a person do when confronted with a conflict starter statement?

confronted with such a statement is to defuse it. They must by all means avoid escalating the conflict through inflammatory statements of their own.What should a person do when confronted with a conflict starter statement?

conflicts

Em C

6:24 PM

@NogShine heh, you're not the first one :P I want to change it to something that's not just off google images but haven't gotten around to it yet..

Nog Shine

BTW, looking at your profile picture and your name, why is it Em C and not Em C^2 ?

Em C

I was trying to make it look like a plausibly real name ;)

user15026

hahahaha so I never look at avatars except when I see them in chat and they're small so I don't always know what teh images are

user15026

so I never connected your name with the avatar

user15026

that's great

Em C

6:35 PM

:D see, now I can't change it :P

Nog Shine

E ≠ mc it is Emmm Seee cc @AJ XD

dhein

@EmC Hmmm might be a good point to figure first what exactly might be wrong. But in the end if they didn‘t lie to me there in fact is something wrong, so I can take that as given.... Well I think this might make indeed a quite good post here and maybe even for both sites. I think I do that tomorrow in the eve

So it doesn‘t get lost in the weekends void :)

Noon

6:51 PM

@Tinkeringbell Thanks for the link. I hope I will be able to understand why too broad (and too many partial answers) are bad

You know what people? I can know what to delete a post and I will (and already have) us this power! mouahahaha

Tinkeringbell

@Noon The really basic answer is 'thats just how SE works'. It's what makes them different from other forums

Noon

@Tinkeringbell Yeah but the other close/delete rules are here to make sure that the site provides good content. For the "too broad" rule, I don't see how that increase site quality.

Em C

@Noon well, SE posts are supposed to be Q&A, where people can easily find answers for their questions, so allowing questions where a good answer would be like, an entire book, doesn't really fit with that notion

so in that sense, it decreases site quality by making it hard for people to find answers

and it also helps to close them in case the asker had a specific situation in mind, so that people don't waste effort on writing answers only to be told "well, that's not really what I meant"

Noon

7:25 PM

@EmC You mean, if an answer is too long, it's harder to just find the information that is useful for you? That would make sense

Noon

7:41 PM

@avazula You got a new avatar! Nice drawing!

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