The Awkward Silence

apaul

12:54 AM

@scohe001 it's a both/and, not an either/or.

Extroverted Main Man

3:54 AM

0

Q: How can I stop getting 'bored' of people?

I have a distressing tendency to become close friends with someone and enjoy their company, and slowly become less interested in spending time with them. It's extremely frustrating, because most people interpret this as "I don't like you anymore" and want to know what they did wrong. The issue is...

forest

5:05 AM

I love how hilariously inaccurate that toxicity measure is.

I guess that's why it's been such a failure so far.

El'endia Starman

I'd say it's decently useful when it's above like 0.80-0.90 or so.

Which...is pretty rare. At least, rare in that IPS Comment Bot gets it and Smokey doesn't.

forest

Exactly. It only gets that high when it's so bad that a simple regex match would get it. I just looked through some of the other comments and saw some rather passive aggressive ones at 0.05 or less, and even more which were 0.4 or 0.5 which were very polite and understanding.

El'endia Starman

In the 60s, Marvin Minsky assigned a couple of undergrads to spend the summer programming a computer to use a camera to identify objects in a scene. He figured they'd have the problem solved by the end of the summer. Half a century later, we're still working on it.

forest

Unfortunately, all it does currently is enhance our own biases, which is especially problematic given that it was shown that Google's API turned out fairly racist.

Jalapeno Nachos

5:21 AM

sup dawgs

anyone here have experience with Statements of Purpose for grad school?

Magisch

6:30 AM

morning

→ 19 messages moved to Trash

JAD

6:56 AM

@El'endiaStarman I showed this to a colleague of mine the other day and said that this is outdated

the second thing is very much possible these days

Mithrandir

7:14 AM

→ 12 messages moved to Trash

El'endia Starman

@JAD From a bit of research, it looks like that comic was posted in 2014, four years ago (almost to the day!). I think the comic still stands - any ease in identifying birds in images today is because of multiple research teams over the last decade+ (mostly in the last five years with the advent of effective neural networks).

Mithrandir

@AJ by any chance did this user just change their username? looking at something odd in the bot

JAD

8:24 AM

@El'endiaStarman With neural networks it'd take a bunch of data (which is available online), but not years to subsequently build

Magisch

I think he meant that the groundwork to do that was laid by people with research teams and years of work

JAD

@Magisch I'm not saying it wasn't ever true, just that it's outdated

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: What are the tools/ways to overcome/avoid extreme positive/negative thinking habit?

I have a habit of thinking extremely positive or extremely negative about anything. If I like someone in first meeting, I like him very much. For me personally, he is my best friend. As the time goes on, few negative things happen and slowly, I start thinking opposite about him. I will then star...

boundaries approach mental-health misunderstandings rejection

Extroverted Main Man

9:52 AM

0

Q: How to deal with dependency situation at work?

I started almost at the perfect job. Still one thing is bothering me to the point where I think about changing the job or working freelance. I am working for one department and have fairly good relationship with my boss. When the second interview took place also the director of the facility was t...

difficult-people job

Magisch

10:39 AM

→ 12 messages moved to Trash

Extroverted Main Man

12:20 PM

0

Q: Clapping in meetings

Company got bought a while back. Some new head of something comes visit from oversea. All hands meeting. At the end of the meeting the local office boss thanks the bigger boss for coming over and starts clapping. Next thing everyone starts clapping. Nobody really knows why. I'm not clapping, I ju...

work-environment meetings

ElizB

12:54 PM

@JalapenoNachos Is that something you have to do for applying for grad school? I had to do something similar. What do you need help with?

Good morning all :) o/

Introverted Meta Man.

0

Q: Answer that should not have been deleted

I just ran into this answer that was deleted. Maybe there is some legalistic hair-splitting reason why it was deleted. But my lord, it's the right answer. He asked her out on a date (see Seinfeld). She said no. Not maybe, not I'm busy, not "it's too far", just plain no. What more needs to ...

discussion

forest

1:38 PM

I think subjective sites like these are not for me. I'll use the contact us link to try to get my account here removed and go back to the other sites. That way I won't stumble onto any other answers of this sort and get sucked into drama.

Tinkeringbell

@forest I think you can delete your account on your own... on this specific site. We're working hard on getting stuff into line, but it may take another year or two ;)

forest

Does deleting the account on my own replace it with "anon" or whatever it is?

Tinkeringbell

There should be a post on main meta about that ;)

forest

I don't want to try to delete my account and end up deleting my network account! :P

Tinkeringbell

@forest I think so, yes. Or with user<nr>

forest

1:40 PM

OK, I'll search for it. Thanks!

Magisch

it becomes userXXXXXX where X a random number or userid (not sure)

Mithrandir

userID

forest

I think it's user ID.

But the ID is no longer valid so it can't be linked back to someone.

Tinkeringbell

@forest meta.stackexchange.com/help/deleting-account

forest

At least not without sleuthing.

Tinkeringbell

1:41 PM

That should do the trick for this one site :)

Mithrandir

9

A: How do I delete my account and all questions/answers on IPS, but keep it on all other SE sites?

You can go to your profile, and click "Edit", which should take you to this page: https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/edit/current When you're there, on the left, you'll see this: Click "delete profile". You'll get this page (at https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/delete...

ElizB

It is still a Beta site, I can still see there are few questions and answers that come up that mods need more time to think about what the best course of action is. Thanks @Tinkeringbell for your timing and work into thinking about how to best deal with this.

forest

Awesome! Thanks. I'll wait a day or two just in case I need to edit my answer beforehand, though I doubt it since the question is on hold.

Tinkeringbell

→ 45 messages moved to Trashcan

Em C

→ 15 messages moved to Trash

missed a couple @Tinkeringbell ;)

Tinkeringbell

1:46 PM

@EmC Ai... :(

forest

I can certainly say you keep a clean site!

Tinkeringbell

@forest We do try. ;)

ElizB

Yup, that's what ive seen so far while being here

Em C

hmm, now I'm wondering what would happen if we both tried to delete the same messages at the same time :P

forest

I would hope that the database transactions are atomic!

ElizB

1:48 PM

I even made a political comment that wasn't all that necessary, and I learned it's not the place to stir that up

Tinkeringbell

@EmC Wanna try? :P

Em C

@Tinkeringbell sure :D

forest

On my parent site (Information Security), comments are rarely ever deleted, even if they are a bit political. Though granted, it's not like that's a particularly subjective subject where political arguments will come up often.

ElizB

>.> let's see what happens! :P

forest

Not uncommon to see an answer with 20 something comments from 5 years ago. lol

Tinkeringbell

1:50 PM

@forest InfoSec may have a much clearer line on what's right/wrong, so a comment saying 'your answer is wrong because' has much more value over there?

@ElizB Not much :P

forest

Probably. And the comments are less likely to be taken personally.

ElizB

@Tinkeringbell aw haha

forest

Since it's, well, not interpersonal. :P

Em C

yeah, with the subject matter here, comments tend to devolve into arguments very quickly

forest

So I noticed.

Em C

1:52 PM

backup helps somewhat - because if your answer is "in my experience, do x", someone else can't really say "um actually your experience wasn't x".. they can just write their own answer of "in my experience, do y instead"

Journeyman Geek

@forest as a SU mod, and one who's occationally had run ins with the security and crypto communities... what happens on one site might not be a great reflection of another.

forest

Wait a sec, if I delete my profile, it invalidates my votes, right?

I don't really want my downvotes to be reversed. If I ask for explicit anonymization, would that not reverse downvotes (and upvotes)?

Journeyman Geek

Well unless you have lots of votes

Oh disassocation?

I don't really remember, but it would be for a specific question in specific circumstances

forest

If I recall, it's required in the license to disassociate user info if requested, as long as it is practical (e.g. only asking for one or two things to be disassociated). Does disassociation also revert votes if done for a specific answer?

Em C

I think dissociation means you keep your profile here but that particular post is attributed to "anon", whereas if you delete your entire profile here, (usually) votes get reversed

forest

2:01 PM

OK, that's what I'll do then.

What does possible-aic mean?

Em C

11

Q: What are the conditions for a dissociation and how does it impact the post-ban system?

I have searched around meta but did not find much information regarding the dissociation of posts. I, however, happened to stumble across this faq question, "How do I remove my name from a post, in accordance with CC:WIKI?" which clears a part of my question regarding how you'd dissociate a name ...

support post-ban post-dissociation

@forest "possible answer in comments"

forest

Ah.

Em C

oh, this meta has more info: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/96732/…

scohe001

2:14 PM

@apaul that's what I figured, but I wonder which of the two is more influential...Guess we'll see what the guys over on ELL think

Extroverted Main Man

2:29 PM

1

Q: Dealing with double standards from my wife

My wife and i have known each other and been good friends for around ten years, but only got together four years ago. Fast forward to today we are married, have our own place and a 2.5 year old son. We only recently married, but our relationship has been solid for the most part with a few hurdle...

relationships europe marriage

Em C

3:40 PM

→ 43 messages moved to Trash

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Split Christmas

This year I suggested that we make the 19 hour drive to go see my family. Travel Saturday and Sunday, and then travel back the next weekend. My wife seems to be on board with it, however, she still wants to celebrate Christmas with her family which is four hours away, either the weekend before or...

conflicts marriage

IPS Comment Bot

4:01 PM

I'm not sure I'd describe it as dishonest, per se; it sounds more like she's unsure or in denial about it - she means what she says, but she frequently changes her mind, so that something that's true when she says it is invalidated a short time later. — anaximander 21 secs ago

#18797 anaximander (519 rep) | A: Politely ask a female friend to stop lying to me about her relationship (score: 1) | posted 29 hours ago by David Richerby (178 rep) | Toxicity 0.28258628

Matched regex(es) ["chatty-weak"]

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to engage a good conversation with the girl I like?

Well, here's the story: When I lived in a shared house, there was a girl (just for simplicity, I'll call her "Shi") that I began to like. We didn't talk very much, but from time to time we matched on the living room and we could chat a bit. But, for once, Shi had a boyfriend at that time, and t...

conversations romance self-esteem

apaul

@scohe001 Not sure about the etymology, but kink becoming more common/open can be tied to the easing of censorship in the 70's and then later the ease of anonymous communication on the internet allowed people to connect with others who shared their kink in a safer more judgement free way.

So if you're wondering if it's more common and more accepted now, it is. Or more accurately, people are more free to express interests now than they have been in the past.

IPS Comment Bot

4:21 PM

oh man, I could certainly do this, my wife however, I don't think would ever agree to it. Like I said, she has never not spent Christmas with her family. So, while I think this is a good suggestion, I don't think it will work in my case. Thank you though. — Alex 1 min ago

#18860 Alex (36 rep) | A: Split Christmas (score: 0) | posted 6 minutes ago by baldPrussian (22184 rep) | Toxicity 0.062039126

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

scohe001

@apaul huh. What do you mean when you say "censorship?" Are you talking about censorship of a specific medium?

apaul

@scohe001 Both print and film had pretty harsh censorship when it came to sex in most places.

scohe001

@apaul and that eased up around the 70's? Any good keywords I could google to read more about that?

IPS Comment Bot

I'm not quite seeing a double standard here. You objected to her having an on-line correspondence with a guy she knew, and she's objecting to you having on-line correspondence with other women. She apparently was OK with your cousin once she learned of the relationship, didn't make you quit the gaming group, and just asked questions about your co-worker. She chose to block you from logging into her accounts, and you chose to allow her to log into yours. Not all of these behaviors are real healthy, but they seem fairly consistent on both sides. — David Thornley 56 secs ago

#18852 David Thornley (111 rep) | Q: Dealing with double standards from my wife (score: 2) | posted 2 hours ago by Plamen (11 rep) | Toxicity 0.19566011 | edited 1 hours ago by Sudsy1002 (317 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

apaul

@scohe001 Could start with "censorship history [your country]" the "Hay's code" is also pretty interesting.

npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=93301189

scohe001

4:44 PM

@apaul Huh. That's an awesome read, thank you! Interesting that the rating system actually allowed for racier content. I wonder how different the nation would be today if Hay's Code had never been a thing

Crazy I'd never heard of it

apaul

There is of course the entire pornography industry that exists outside of the rating system... The free speech fights there have been ground breaking and had impacts well beyond their intentions.

scohe001

Good point. That's definitely something that the internet has helped spread like wildfire

apaul

Search "Larry Flynt"

scohe001

Is that something I should wait until I'm off a work computer to do?

apaul

Probably

There's plenty of clean news sources, but it's a recognizable name.

scohe001

4:54 PM

Haha I'll wait till I get back then

ElizB

6:35 PM

Pretty funny earlier today I jumped off because my supervisor actually came to my cubicle, (there's several computers in it), to teach another person who is interning under her for another project (supervisor has multiple projects going on), to get her settled in. i was all distracted and sleepy until she came in haha

user15026

That's one way to wake yourself up :P

ElizB

@Ash yeah, it was literally me being sleepy, then the other intern coming in, "Hi" me: "Hi" ??? supervisor comes in after her and starts talking to her about what she needs to do. me: I'm not sleepy anymore, shit i need to actually work!! (starts doing work)

user15026

laughs

ElizB

yeah, after I left, i breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't suspect anything

i basically have a run-through of it with her on friday, and any last edits are done before wednesday :D thats it!

user15026

6:56 PM

That's great

ElizB

yeah! i'm excited.

Extroverted Main Man

8:24 PM

0

Q: How to get something said in writting...so it can be proven the person said it

My landlady has asked me to move out despite the lease not being up. Personally, I am happy moving out early because she has dogs that won't stop barking and she refuses to do anything about. However, she said the reason she is asking me to move out is because she is uncomfortable being a women a...

conflicts written-interaction

0

Q: Alice's behaviour is pretty strange and Bob get's involded in it

In the following story there are just two persons: Alice and Bob. Now the story: On Bob's school there came a new pupil, Alice. On her first day, Alice did contact Bob when she first see him. It was just a normal talk, just how pupils it do. The next week, Alice did talk to Bob during the ...

germany school

0

Q: How to treat a person who is uncle of my friend and who manipulates for sex?

My friend has introduced me with her uncle for the purpose of some guidance help. I was speaking normally and respectfully with him. But after some days he started manipulating me by saying 'I love you' (through phone) and asked me where shall we go. I know this manipulation is all for sex. I was...

sex sexual-harassment sexual-assault

scohe001

When it rains it pours, eh?

Em C

8:46 PM

@ExtrovertedMainMan wow, dude sure has a lot of landlord problems :/

scohe001

9:15 PM

@IPSCommentBot tp

apaul

@EmC can that one be migrated to law.se?

Em C

@apaul I'm not too familiar with their site, so I'd have to check if it's on topic there

> Please don't ask questions seeking legal advice on a specific matter. These are off-topic for Law Stack Exchange.

so... probably not a good candidate

apaul

@EmC I suspect it would be a duplicate there, may not be worth the effort.

Ah, nevermind

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I encourage teammates to be more responsible in a "for fun" project?

I'm working on a "for fun" project together with some online friends. We do not intend to make money on it or become famous or anything. We're just doing it because we're like-minded individuals and we believe that together we can create something cool and improve our skills in the process. We a...

friend-groups

forest

10:43 PM

What regex does the comment bot use for the matches?

ElizB

@forest , @scohe001 and @Mithrandir are the ones you want to ask, I believe.

it's pretty quiet now that most places have ended their work day and people are home and usually doing other stuff.

How have you been?

... i'm gonna try something-

!!/regexes ips

maybe i don't have the same privileges, that's okay.

in The Closet, Jul 9 at 16:48, by IPS Comment Bot

possible-aic:
- q: short\Wanswer
- q: why\Wnot
- q: sounds\Wlike
- q: short\Wversion
- q: bottom\Wline
- q: just\Wsaying?
- q: worth\Wconsidering
- q: the\Wissue\Where
- q: tl.?dr
- q: ^you\Wneed\Wto((?!\?).)*$
- q: two\Wcents
- q: ^.*respond((?!(meta|\?)).)*$
- q: tell\W(them|h(im|er))
- q: if\Wi\Wwh?ere
- q: an?\W(answer|solution).?\Wbut
- q: ^(.{1,50})?just(.{1,50})?((?!(\?)).)$
- q: ^(.{1,20})?".*"$
offensive:
- q: (shit|(mother)?fuck(ing|er)?)
- a: (shit|(moth(a|er))?fuck(ing|er)?|bitch(es)?)

There we go, maybe that helps you @forest ?

forest

Neat.

And chatty/chatty-weak is just based on the length?

ElizB

@forest ...i don't know. I just dug up information that was shown to me before.

forest

OK

ElizB

the people in The Closet that monitor the comment bot will know

scohe001

11:33 PM