My stress has been crazy too lately. My dad escalated to threats to my sister, he said something like "if you don't text to me and send bullet points of what your issues are with me through text i'm coming with a detective to help you talk with me in person."
he never did that to me, and i was just simply gobsmacked with how lucrative that threat is... first of all, an officer wouldn't invade someone's private residence (my mom's in this case) without permission, and they wouldn't coerce someone to talk to someone else
@EmC i'm beyond pissed. I'm not interested in a relationship with him anymore, not really.
i've been sticking around IPS.SE for awhile and seem that i can't find a similar question/situation like mine so i decide to put my question here. If there is anything that need to be edited for better information please let me know. Thank you very much
So here is my situation: My parents've b...
I was about to cast a close vote for a "What should I do?" question, but then I notice that there were already 4 answers for it. Now I'm confused, is this a "What should I do?" question or is it on topic? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/18364/…
My younger brother with wife and 2 daughters has habit of spending money. E.g. going to movies often, eating out often, buying clothes (big brands).
I also have wife and 3 kids. I am not like him I only spend when I see there is need of it. E.g. its long time we didnt eat out so let's go. I have...
@Noon I think you're right, this is asking 'what should I do' given there's three options (none of them really interpersonal) and then asking 'what's feasible' without really specifying a goal
I think, It could go from awkward to more awkward maybe the person won't talk to you at all. Reason - Oh Smiththis guy putting stress on my surname, he could've called me by first name only. Maybe Smiths do not have good reputation here, look he is smirking. I should stay away. — paul52 secs ago
Okay, so first thing that pops out is that 'what can I do so he stops bullying me' might not be a question about Interpersonal Skills. The only thing we have there is:
> I tried talking to him, our teacher and the student counselor
That's all the background we have, on what was tried.
Then, looking at your answer, I see a lot of 'I was bullied too, here's what they did to me'. Given the question, that's not strange, since the question is mostly that too
Yes, we are a site for questions and answers about Interpersonal Skills. So we have a close-reason for questions asking 'what should I do'... and I think this question fits that, it's not very clear to me what Interpersonal Skill the OP wants help with. If e.g. they want to be more assertive towards this bully, the question doesn't really show it.
Then again, the site is still in beta and there's people on here that don't share my views on that, that want to be able to use this site as a way to 'brainstorm' on possible solutions.
@TreaV I do think it's worth it. We get so many answers... Some are just single lines among the trend of 'You're f-ed.'. Or lame jokes, or stuff that is just an opinion (soapboxing) and does not offer a solution
@TreaV I think with a bit of editing, it could be one of the better answers there ;) I'm a big fan of answers written from personal experience, as they are better than 'I think you should do X' (to me). Have you ever seen this post? : interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/183/1599
@TreaV Deleting answers :)
If you hover over the little arrows in front of messages, you can see which one I am replying to :)
Also, I promise I'm still working on a 'how to write a good answer' FAQ. It's just not coming along very easily ;)
Hi Rose, thank you very much for your insightful reply. I have decided to take your suggestion and write a letter to her, but I am slightly worried that she will see it in a bad light and hold on to the bad part of the letter and hurt more. Still, I don't see any better ways for me to deal with this, so thank you! — LocustHorde1 min ago
Hi, I've been trying to talk to her about seeing a therapist. She has had CBT in the past to heal from PTSD, but she didn't like the doctor (I think it's hard to like someone who's poking at your bad memories). She went through the whole 10 sessions, and says it helped her. She has now been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I'm trying to talk to her to see a professional to address these issues. Thank you for your answer. — LocustHorde44 secs ago
Hi, thanks for your time and a very helpful answer. I'm going to take Rose's advice and write a letter, and make sure I keep a good balance of compliments in there, as you suggest in your sandwich technique. Your last edit though, I have tried as you suggested, but she feels that she deserves to be treated because she is worthless, and so it doesn't help either of us. This is one of the things I'm hoping she can learn to heal from as well — LocustHorde31 secs ago
Not sure if this is the right place to ask this question, but here we go. In my college I like talking to people and making connections. I think I am an extrovert. Sometimes when I talk with other students (I don’t know them very well but still we go to the same classes and we sit almost next to ...
I'm working in a software company as a junior s/w developer. Recently I was assigned to a project, already 2 of my team members who are senior to me by almost 3-3.5 years are working on this project. I was asked by my reporting officer to transfer their work on my machine, install it and review t...
Hi Cesare! Where do you live in Italy? Where are your colleagues from? People from Verona will respond very differently from people from Turin (I'm Italian as well). Also, you could narrow the scope of your question by asking how to get to know these people, since this is your actual goal. — LinuxBlanket1 min ago
I really appreciate your answer, it has motivated me a lot and I accepted it for this, but just a little point I'd like to add, I don't really think that they are insecure of me as I know my abilities and skill set which is average over all. But still a big thanks for your answer — rock star1 min ago
I have a classmate who is quite similar to me. She likes animation, movies, and coding games, just like me. I tried to increase our after-class social interaction time, but she disagreed and said she went just because of pressure from her parents, and she wanted her free time for gaming and anima...
On the flip side of the interaction, I've been known at times to reply with "I can't respond right now, but I will get to this within the next few days" (or whichever timeframe I feel I can actually commit to). That way, (a) the other person knows that the message made it through (e-mail in particular sometimes does get lost, especially if from someone you don't communicate with regularly) and (b) the other person has a good idea of when they can expect an actual answer. That can save some grief. — Michael Kjörling52 secs ago
https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/18360/14435
Actually I liked reading the question and answers, but you guys need to play fair rules with everybody or accepting interesting but not straight IPS questions.
EDIT :
The whys :
This answer is not explaining how to asks/say something in s...
"Don't leave a detailed voicemail, instead say "hey call me back"." I agree with the first half, but not the second half; that example is too terse. "I want to talk about your business offer, please call me back ASAP but not after 7:30 in the evening" is much better than just "hey call me back" because it gives the other person the context for the call. This means they can be in the mental state for it, gather any necessary details for their own reference before they call, etc. — Michael Kjörling49 secs ago
@Marisa He says he isn't. That doesn't mean that it's true. Even if it is, his affection for you may still holding him back in other relationships. — Jasperjust now
Yeah, market reality is very relevant here. He might be making money out of you, but that's often how it looks like these days in big Swedish cities like Uppsala or even worse in Stockholm. — Alex1 min ago
@Tinkeringbell I think we're scaring away many potential long time contributors by having a horrendous first user experience.
New users have to be able to know how to ask a good IPS question and if we close it has to be clear and acceptable. Our rules are a bit too muddy I'm afraid
@Magisch Yeah, probably. I tried to make a 'how to write a good question' faq post, but I forgot the most important part, probably, which is what is and isn't on topic, right now it's just technicalities
Talking to the wife kind of sounds good, because she has a stake in it too, but it also sounds like the OP could be trying to drive a wedge between husband and wife. Ideally it would be "talk to them together" and maybe the wife can pick up on the problem. — DaveG1 min ago
Country tag really does matter, because our suggesting things like talking to the wife are being met with cultural answers (you'd lose big brother-respect). As Americans, many would stop helping him entirely as 'tough love' to get him and his family financially independent before helping him again. This seems like a solution you wouldn't accept. So we need to work within your existing framework. — Carduus1 min ago
Yesterday, a couch learned what happens if it displeases me enough. It's really gratifying to tear a couch board from board. :-P (disclaimer: was junking the couch anyways, I did not rage-destroy a perfectly good couch)
I recently read a great question on workplace.se and it reminded me of a similar situation I've come across a couple of times, where I did not know how to interrupt the speaker without embarrassing him even more. It often happens with non-technical coworkers that misunderstood something technical...
Growing up in a small town, I had one friend throughout my school years - we shared interests outside of the norm as well as certain difficult aspects of our family life, and even after we parted ways for further education (her going to a different country, across water) we somewhat kept in touch...
There are a couple hundred people I interact with on a regular basis. Almost every day I meet someone whos birthday is that day and I would love to have a little something for their special day.
It's often hard to tell how good another person percives our relationship to be, thus I need a coupl...
@avazula Thanks! Unlike the previous two, I deliberately went to seek out this shot, because I remembered it and I was feeling like it'd be appropriate, because reasons.
Yeah, i gotcha. The only requirements I need is to have chicken, mushrooms and maybe potatoes. Potatoes keep for a while but not forever, and I bought about 3 pounds, so i want to use that somewhat soon.
I think i found a recipe that I just might throw potatoes in or cook potatoes differently
lots of these recipes call for something creamy but the one i found that i think will work is made creamy by adding cornstarch, which i'm just gonna replace with flour
@El'endiaStarman I read this as "how do you get children to smoke weed?" for a moment there and I feel like none of the jokes that I would make from there would be appropriate jokes. :'(
couldn't you just cook everything in water/broth, like a pot roast? (I don't do slow-cooker stuff so I don't actually know if this would work with chicken :P)
oof I just found a worse type of awkward silence... saying something you think is correct in a big group chat at work, and then everyone stops responding >.>
@DaveG it's probably just because they were busy trying to fix the thing they were talking about.. but yeah :( still figuring out how to fit in with the new team..
@EmC I understand, last job I was the only dev at a remote office, so most of my communication was via group chat Q & A. It's pretty awkward when you don't know most of the people. And I was really lost the first few months, it was a big product that had had a lot of devs hacking at it for many years.
@EmC not to mention some of the "explanations" that I got were wrong
@DaveG yeah, our team is split about 50/50 between here and another office. That's something I haven't really dealt with before, it's definitely a bit intimidating to jump into as a new person
Sorry I'm not often around these days. I took my driving license exam yesterday (waiting for the results) and I've been having this medical issue since a few days. Its getting better though :)
@avazula No, but I work on the software that gathers data from a bunch of data loggers via serial port connections. I inherited it and some of the code is good, some of it not so much.
@avazula fortunately the bad code can be blamed on people who are no longer around, as is usually the case.
@EmC well it's a bit unclear. My driving school said it's tonight but the inspector said it'll either be Wednesday or Thursday, so. I guess I just gonna have to check regularly until then :p
@DaveG that's a shame. It's particularly hard when it lacks of documentation or unit testing but even with those tools, it's not guaranteeing that a project will go perfectly :p
Thanks guys, that means a lot. Right now I'm in pain and my nights are sleepless but there's no serious issue, that I'm grateful for :)
@avazula barely, haha. I had practiced all my driving in a sedan, but when I got to the testing place they said I couldn't use that car because it had a crack in the windshield, so I ended up taking the test in a small SUV that I'd only driven once before, which was fun..
I know I drove way worse than usual, yet the inspector hasn't stopped me because of a disqualifying fault, so I guess I could have it (but certainly not the best grade haha)
@EmC commuting. I switch missions every 3 to 18 months and the client company can be anywhere in a 100km radius. Unfortunately, my region has quite an inconvenient train system :p
Thence I needed to learn driving :) hope I won't need it too much though. I still think cars are lethal tools
@avazula yeah, public transit there was like a hub-and-spoke network, where I lived on the end of one spoke and my workplace was on another, so it wasn't very convenient unless you were just going into or out of the city
How does one keep a large amount of friends but not lack quality time with each family member? What are ways that I can maximize time with all my family that's not corny in my after work life? Is having to many family members like being spread to thin and insincere?
I actually saw my first Phineas & Ferb episode waaaaay after I started hanging out in this chat. It was weird to know the face before I knew the character.
i've been sticking around IPS.SE for awhile and seem that i can't find a similar question/situation like mine so i decide to put my question here. If there is anything that need to be edited for better information please let me know. Thank you very much
So here is my situation: My parents've b...
https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/18360/14435
Actually I liked reading the question and answers, but you guys need to play fair rules with everybody or accepting interesting but not straight IPS questions.
EDIT :
The whys :
This answer is not explaining how to asks/say something in s...
There are a couple hundred people I interact with on a regular basis. Almost every day I meet someone whos birthday is that day and I would love to have a little something for their special day.
It's often hard to tell how good another person percives our relationship to be, thus I need a coupl...
How does one keep a large amount of friends but not lack quality time with each family member? What are ways that I can maximize time with all my family that's not corny in my after work life? Is having to many family members like being spread to thin and insincere?
