The Awkward Silence

12:28 AM

@Catija how should I flag for close for a question where they're asking "what should I do?"

(I flagged as "Too Broad" but just want to be sure for next time)

Welcome. Thank you for sharing this. I do not have a complete answer, but it sounds like you and your brother have been through a lot as well. You are not responsible for anyone's actions but your own. Perhaps it would help to talk with your brother about what you and he need the most, and then try to be an advocate for those things. — cactus_pardner 1 min ago

#13548 cactus_pardner (347 rep) | Q: How to respond to a family member relying on me for support after their partner has committed suicide? (score: 1) | posted 12 minutes ago by ben (6 rep)

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

Extroverted Main Man

1

Q: How to respond to a family member relying on me for support after their partner has committed suicide?

Emotional context This family member is going through a divorce with their ex dragging this divorce out as painfully long as possible so that by the time the divorce is finished they do not have to pay a penny towards child support. In addition to attempting this they have also been stealing t...

family

Em C

12:48 AM

@scohe001 I think people have been voting those as Off Topic with a custom reason like this: interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/2682/3171

Rainbacon

1:16 AM

@EmC Do you think your question could benefit from the academic-research? I don't know how much formal research has gone into NVC, but perhaps there's some.

Richard U

this one needs to be shut down fast

1

Q: How to respond to a family member relying on me for support after their partner has committed suicide?

Emotional context This family member is going through a divorce with their ex dragging this divorce out as painfully long as possible so that by the time the divorce is finished they do not have to pay a penny towards child support. In addition to attempting this they have also been stealing t...

family

Can we get some close votes before this goes to HNQ?

@Rainbacon bump ^^^^^

apaul

2:57 AM

0

Q: Apologies and parting notes

I've given this a lot of thought over the last month or so. Initially this was going to be a heated rant about how awful the minority experience on Interpersonal Skills is, and how that's the reason I'm leaving, but if I'm really honest with myself, there's a lot more to it than that. That's not...

discussion moderation deleted-answers deleted-comments

user15026

@RichardU I did what I could

user15026

It needs one more VTC

user15026

@Catija Yeah, that's always been my understanding, that it's intended more as a mediation sort of thing more than anything

Jesse

3:28 AM

Whats the symbol for small-text?

in an answer, I want to add some smaller text down the bottom and have forgotten :D

Catija

either <sup>text</sup> or the same thing but sub.

Introverted Meta Man.

3:42 AM

3

Q: Apologies and parting notes

I've given this a lot of thought over the last month or so. Initially this was going to be a heated rant about how awful the minority experience on Interpersonal Skills is, and how that's the reason I'm leaving, but if I'm really honest with myself, there's a lot more to it than that. That's not...

discussion moderation deleted-answers deleted-comments

Rainbacon

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/13548/… Anyone else find it odd that a user who has been a member for all of 15 minutes is welcoming people to IPS?

Catija

4:04 AM

@Rainbacon Eh, not necessarily. If they've been avoiding joining but just found something that really spoke to them... or if that's what they do on the sites they're active on... it could just be habit.

Jesse

4:38 AM

I had a 4 of older-ish custom flags that weren't necessarily flagging for deletion all declined at once and now im banned from flagging :(

I thought we encouraged custom flags for tricky situations...

Catija

@Jesse If you're not flagging for deletion, then why? I'm sorry you're flag banned but other than deleting something or commenting on it, the mods don't really have any tools. We're not going to mod message someone for a single bad answer, which some of your flags were for.

You can write a comment to encourage the user to improve the post. That doesn't require our attention.

Jesse

@Catija It was more that I wasn't sure what to do, I just wanted to bring the issue to the attention of someone who might understand protocol better than me

Catija

If you're not sure what to do, ask on meta. That's what it's for.

We don't necessarily have the answers and we don't have a way to respond if we do.

Jesse

But does that mean that I should never raise negative issues via custom flag?

Catija

What do you mean by "negative issues"?

Jesse

4:47 AM

there are a number of metas with "raise a custom flag" as a (what i thought was widely accepted) way of potentially dealing with similar things

Catija

It's almost midnight for me and you're talking in generic terms. I'm not sure how to answer your question.

There's nothing wrong with raising a custom flag but if you honestly don't know what to do and there's no specific advice about what to do... ask in here or on meta.

Jesse

in which they say "custom flag it"... im just trying to understand the ban

Catija

The ban is automatic. If you have under a certain percentage of your flags marked helpful, you get a 7 day ban. We can't control that.

Jesse

The negative issues were: 2x dup, 1x content issues, 1x NAA but I felt they needed some more context so I turned it to custom flag

87 helpful, 1 retracted, 1 disputed and 8 declined I don't really see a percentage issue. I guess if its "recent declined" since they were a build up of pending ones that got declined just today i think

Catija

But one of the "dupe" answers you marked was older than the others, including the ones you didn't mark... but, again... what do you want us to do with "dupes"? If you haven't tried a NAA flag and a comment first, please don't custom flag something for us as NAA. NAA flags go to the community, not the moderators.

@Jesse It's within the last week, I think.

All of this is explained in the flag decline reasons you were given, though... have you looked at them?

Jesse

4:59 AM

@Catija that dup is the reason i used a custom flag, to give the context because there were a large number of dups on one question

Catija

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/flag-summary/…

Jesse

yeah, but only recently

only once i noticed i was banned

Catija

Did you see the discussion Shog had with Mith when he got flag banned a few weeks ago? It's directly relevant here.