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12:04 AM
Anywho...
Jokes?
 
user15026
@apaul I grew up rural conservative, while people I know never thought like this, I can see how they could have.
 
user15026
So I get where they're coming from.
 
user15026
I don't love it, I agree that it's a little antiquated
 
I've known religious folks that acted like that, that's why I asked if it was cultural. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
 
Well... I mean... the VP of the US feels that way... :/
 
12:35 AM
@Catija See. Antiquated.
 
@apaul :P
 
1:05 AM
So, I'm allowed to start fires now, right?
 
1:20 AM
I'm going to go hide...
 
0
Q: For your consideration: "On Topic" help page contents

CatijaThis site really needs content for the help center's "On Topic" page and since it didn't seem to be happening, I did it myself but it needs your voice. We won't be able to make everyone happy with all of the rules here because... well... what the rules should be is something we're probably not al...

4
 
A J
1:47 AM
@Catija I was just going to ask that when do we update our on-topic page.
 
0
Q: What are some examples of / what makes a good small talk question?

DarcyThomasSo you are at a social event and you meet some one*. You start with the usual questions: Hi my/your name is? What do you do? How do you know the host? Which are all good to get started. Then you might ask some other small talk questions. What makes a good question? What are some examples? S...

 
2:38 AM
Hi @CaptainBohemian :)
I'm having a nice, warm chai latte right now
it solves both my hunger and cold issues :)
 
it depends on what you want to know and what questions are meaningful to you and them. If you don't wonder anything, just keep silent. I hate people ask me irrelevant small questions just for talking ad hoc then making useless compliment or response.
 
@CaptainBohemian I think that question up there ^ will get closed anyway. Something about boating or whatever - SE doesn't welcome questions that ask for "lists" of things.
 
@D.Hutchinson It's raining again. I hate going hunting in rain. I am eating potato chips.
 
I see :(
Just make sure you get some exercise everyday :)
 
@D.Hutchinson There is eatery called Northern China Eatery which I often go to solve hunger trouble. Its female boss really likes to ask me irrelevant personal questions. I feel annoyed by her.
 
2:45 AM
Nice - I have a big bag of Doritos that I will munch on later ...
Yeah, I hear ya ...
Just tell "white lies" if you're uncomfortable; that's how I deal with it ...
questions like "how much rent do you pay?" feels really intrusive ...
one person even asked "how much money do you have in your bank account" and I'm pretty sure they weren't joking or teasing me -- you have to be careful
 
she likes to ask me whether I am still studying and where I am working many times. I know she doesn't understand my career issue but she keeps asking. One time I just replied her I am working on research and she's like she doesn't have idea what I am talking at all.
 
white lie
ˈˌ(h)wīt ˈlī/Submit
noun
a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
yeah, I know what you mean
 
I actually even want to reply her:''I am always studying. What do you mean by ''still studying''? Is there a point when one should stop studying?"
 
haha
that's kinda mean ...
don't say that :(
say ... you're a teacher or something
something where she likely won't ask follow-up questions ...
 
she indeed has asked me something about my accommodation because here renting a house is very costly. And I told her I live in family's house so don't pay and then she considers it's good bonus. She also has asked me how much money I earn each month. I feel she is really annoying.
she heard that I live family's house and followed up by asking ''doesn't your mother cook?" I replied her "nobody cooks at my home." I actually had words in mind "why don't you come to my home to cook as Mother? There is nobody glad to serve as Mother at my home."
 
3:01 AM
yeah ... just tell white lies ... she doesn't have to know anything about your personal life :)
she will only judge you anyway
"captain bohemian makes so much / so little money ... "
 
I would speak out those impolite words when I am irritable. But that time I am not by chance.
I have got tired of these jerks.
I have had a quarrel with some customer at the eatery one time because that day that customer blamed me for not putting some flavor dish back to a table, but I think that flavor dish can be put anywhere and customers move it from table to table.
that day I had been irritable by someone else, then that customer just brought me a chance to vent my anger.
 
0
Q: Can't post a new question - there's a 7 day wait?

D.HutchinsonI was going to post a question tonight but got this notice instead: You have reached your question limit It looks like you might need a break - take a breather and come back soon! You've asked 2 questions recently, some of which have not been received very well by the community. Ev...

 
maybe ask an IPS question here on the main page, to get some help, @CaptainBohemian?
you sound like you might have a good question to post
 
well, I feel nobody knows the answer to those questions.
I actually just have no interest with interacting with these irrelevant people.
but I can't avoid going to eateries.
I usually try to go to eateries whose managers tend not to ask me any irrelevant questions.
 
yeah :(
I won't even share any of my time with my roommates, @CaptainBohemian - I like to be alone with my thoughts, even doing unproductive things on Stack Exchange is better than communicating with people near me or who live with me.
 
3:16 AM
I feel the topics eatery manangers like to talk to are never concerns, so I don't really like to talk with.
 
So I definitely understand :)
 
some eatery managers like to talk about their children. One talked to me about the activity his child had in school.
I think he'd better to talk that to someone interested in child raising. I have heard one eatery manager talked to a customer about each other's children.
I saw they talked enjoyably. I am not their category.
they talked about what their children like to eat.
how boring!
 
 
1 hour later…
4:43 AM
Weee
 
:/
 
 
2 hours later…
6:37 AM
@CaptainBohemian sorry, I was away at dinner
 
7:23 AM
Hi @RoryAlsop :)
 
7:41 AM
@D.Hutchinson you are dinner king.
 
@CaptainBohemian I'm thinking of declining my teaching offer, in order to find a higher-paying job
eh, I eat once a day :)
but, one big meal
then, just chai lattes and hot chocolates, so that I have a reason to drink milk
 
@D.Hutchinson I think the interpersonal question I would want to ask is very advanced and not people of usual wisdom can reply.
 
hmm ... I think it's worth posting
 
0
Q: Friend in a group behaving a bit strange , how to distance myself without being too forward?

SomeoneElseI have a friend in a group (Group is rather large and diverse but a core 8-9 people meet up the most frequently, she is part of that), let's call her Wendy. She and i dated in the past, but didn't go very deep. Some dates, we didn't go pass holding hands.I tend to make a lot of jokes and tease p...

 
like I want to ask how to prompt my advisor into finishing reviewing my papers.
it takes some advanced strategies.
 
7:44 AM
Oo that sounds more like a question for Academia SE
 
but I think if he just doesn't want to do it, he can always use excuse to delay. So this kind of question has no effective answer, but maybe there is, I am not sure because I usually think it's not a scientific question and thus has no real answer.
the best way is just having a scientific conversant person who can discuss the scientific issue in my research fields.
 
the delay tactic is tough to interpret :(
you'd need to provide a lot of info, for a good answer ...
 
well, he has broken his promise to me countless times.
he always says he will review on upcoming days but seldom really do it.
I have got tired of prompting him.
I have succeeded in publishing one paper on my own.
 
were you planning to add him as co-author, for his review efforts?
 
no
it has been published with me as solo author.
 
7:51 AM
... that's ... a tough ... offer ...
no, i mean ... your current* work
are you offering co-authorship?
 
no
he wouldn't finish the review no mater how long I wait him.
 
hmm ... that's tough ...
 
he always says he still hasn't finished the review, but currently something occupies him and will review in Feb.
 
it's like ... you want free labor from him / her ...
free ... intellectual contributions ... to original work
i'd say you might be wasting your time ...
I'm not sure, though ...
 
but when Feb. comes, I ask him, he would say another thing occupies him again and will review in March.
 
7:55 AM
yeah ...
 
no, my master thesis is what he supervises and it's reasonable to ask him review and put him as coauthor.
 
is the master's thesis what you're currently waiting for him to review?
 
asking anybody else to review is not very suitable.
but only he and I are involved in the work.
 
I'm confused ...
 
no
I have long graduated
 
7:57 AM
ah, ok
I get it now
 
but I hope to publish my master thesis.
 
yeah, your not offering him / her coauthorship is bad ... in my opinion
you are very junior ...
 
and actually in the beginning it's him who addressed that my thesis should be published.
 
if you are offering coauthorship and he ignores you, then he's not interested in getting his name on your work
 
but I have waited him for many years.
 
7:59 AM
years?
 
I fell into a quagmire due to prompting him.
 
how many years are we talking about?
 
do you know what it means by falling into a quagmire?
 
yeah ...
 
I feel like I lose the control of time and keeps being left behind by time.
 
8:03 AM
i think that for people in academia, if often feels that way ...
 
Because I can't sleep well due to frequent anxiety and worry, when I am wake, I can't work efficiently, and that leads me to further anxiety and worry.
you never know how stressful during that period I prompted him.
and there is just nobody helpful to me. So I become irritable.
I may easily throw my temper to anybody on the street saying something irritable to me.
these people on the street can just ask me personal questions for curiosity.
What really bothers me, the paper prompting issue, is beyond their understanding, not to mention to bring strategy to help me.
 
@D.Hutchinson actually most of my classmates have their advisors writing their thesis in terms of papers with them as coauthors to publish.
but my advisor is just lazy to do that, so I wrote the papers on my own.
:42370471 if you disappear, then I am going to check someone's publications.
 
8:23 AM
sorry, I'm running around my apartment doing things before bed
let's talk tomorrow
goodnight!
:)
 
@D.Hutchinson OK.
@D.Hutchinson it's afternoon now, so it's strange to say good night to you; the sky is still bright.
 
0
Q: What do I do when I'm meeting a girl that likes me for the last time

Rumble downHere's a little back story : There's a girl from my school that's a year older than me that I got really close to. Eventually, she ended up telling me that she liked me. Thing is, I don't know if I like her romantically, but she is definitely one of my favorite people. Now she's graduating, and ...

 
 
1 hour later…
9:36 AM
@D.Hutchinson Wake. I think you misunderstand me. I of course would put him as coauthor if he can finish the review and we agree with each other on the final version of the papers. But the problem is that he never finishes the review.
@D.Hutchinson I didn't understand what your offer means until now.
@D.Hutchinson If I don't want to put him as a coauthor, I wouldn't ask him to review.
 
 
1 hour later…
NVZ
11:07 AM
I'm not sure why it's voted for deletion. It looks like an answer geared towards the OP, and also has a bit of an explanation. To show disagreement, please downvote, not delete. Am I missing something? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/review/low-quality-posts/6426
 
@NVZ Catija's comment summarises it
 
NVZ
@ArtOfCode Maybe. I still don't see it though.
 
12:11 PM
0
Q: How to address awful smells from the flat above

BrondahlApologies for the large amount of run-up; the context feels very relevant: My wife and I live in a 1930s block of flats in London. We are on the ground floor, of a staircase of 8 flats, so we're at least slightly familiar with everyone in the block. We own our flat, but I believe several of th...

 
Btw, @Snow: meta.stackexchange.com/questions/5280/embrace-the-non-googlers .... I don't think there's much I can do against that :/ Next time, just add a link to your sources... If people start downvoting/commenting because it's a straight from google answer, we have a bigger problem :S
 
That meta post was from almost nine years ago, and has a context rooted in stack exchange. It also doesn't really address the issue of whether people should do some basic searching before posting a question here. I totally get the notion that SE is foremost a Q&A repository, but I personally believe that in many cases, the needs of the user outweighs the demands of the stack.
And IPS is about helping users with their actual problems, the last I read.
 
12:49 PM
So the fact that it's a community wiki that has been kept up to date till 2017 doesn't count as much? (I'm new to this whole meta.se thing)
I'll be putting up a meta about that question.
 
The needs of the user don't outweigh the needs of the Stack. That's why we close questions, why we delete answers in comments when the question is closed, delete answers that no matter how correct they may be don't meet our quality standards...
 
A J
o/
 
NVZ
1:07 PM
\o
@Mithrandir which are practices that in the end are meant to benefit the users of the stacks - deleting bad stuff to bring out the good ones to benefit the users.
 
@Catija or @HDE226868 when one of you has had their morning coffee, could you help me? I'm trying to write a meta on this question (interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/9259/…)... If I remember correctly there were some comments from Snow and the OP there, that are now deleted. Could you help me remember what was said?
 
@Tinkeringbell ummm I guess. There's not much.
 
@Catija I know, there were 2 from Snow and 1 from OP as far as I can recall... but I sorta want them ;)
 
Thank you!
 
1:31 PM
Thanks @Catija for quoting that. That was the comment that got me riled - the implication that he only added the question in order to add to the Q&A repository and it wasn't an actual situation.
@Mithrandir I'm sorry if I appear to be ignoring you, but I kind of feel that if you want to have a hand in administering a community, it would be pretty good if you actually contributed to it. You're not listed as a user here on IPS, you've made no posts that I can see out in the open. IPS is a humanist stack, it's not empirical like the rest of the network. Again, it's only my opinion, but leaders should be seen to lead. Gaining reputation involves some level of gaining reputation.
 
@Snow I have an account, it's simply not public.
 
@Snow Mith does contribute ;) But that's super secret information ;)
 
If you want to know, I'm user #31. I've been around since private beta.
 
0
Q: What constitutes a 'lack of research effort' on IPS?

TinkeringbellThis started with this question and a few of the comments there: How do you communicate efficiently with someone who is stuttering? One of our community members wrote a good answer to that question, listing the do's and don'ts of communicating with a stutterer. (link to deleted answer) The OP o...

 
Why hide? Why confuse people?
 
1:40 PM
@Snow Why not hide? I picked a different username for SE than for all other online stuff I do ;) I can imagine wanting to stay anonymous on a site where you share lot of detail about personal life ;)
 
Plus, I'm actually very active here in flagging and stuff... I leave comments on posts that then get deleted, I've got the most helpful flags on the site... I don't need people following me elsewhere.
(mostly comment flags. And then I leave comments requesting that people not answer in comments)
I do behind-the-scenes stuff... I don't post the most.
 
So many flags....
Mith just wants to send me to an early grave, buried under a mound of comment flags.
5
 
The bot is down, so you get a break - I can't easily monitor all the comments without it :p
 
Oh, comment flags. Been a while since I used all of my 78 flags in a day :P
 
We're above 7k deleted now.
 
2:06 PM
-1
Q: How can I air my pet peeves to strangers in a socially acceptable way?

SexxLuthorIs there some public place where I can share my "micro-annoyances" with the world, perhaps online? (My plan is to phrase these in the form of questions, to make them seem universally applicable.) Thx!

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan No thanks.
I've now cast 4x as many downvotes as upvotes...
 
2:56 PM
0
Q: How to react when your flirt gives the same respond like you did

HalilMTo establish the background of the story, let me explain who is the flirt and what is the relationship between each other in my case. I'm a 23 years old male and my flirt is also 23 years old but a female. Me and she are both open-minded about anything and we are funny. We always make jokes abou...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan dog whistling...
 
3:27 PM
@apaul Was that really necessary?
 
0
Q: How to build resilience against negative comments online

Maria WarnesRecently I've trying to be more active on social media and forums by posting some original content. Naturally however, among the supportive comments have been negative, non-constructive comments. As I have mostly limited my social media to places like Facebook where my audience has been friends, ...

 
Already closed.
 
@Tinkeringbell Yes, yes it was.
 
@Catija I want to leave a comment but will say this in chat instead: The irony is painful but apt.
 
@TheTinyMan Eh... it wasn't meant to be negative... I'm on mobile and wanted it closed before someone answered it.
 
3:33 PM
@Catija Oh, no, it wasn't delivered negatively, but it was a criticism. Which, I guess, is not what the OP was actually talking about, they specifically mentioned "non-constructive." So it's good that I didn't leave that comment because my point would be moot. xD
 
@Catija too late
but you already saw that
 
@apaul Why?
 
@Tinkeringbell It's worth recognizing when people are deliberately taking stabs at our community.
 
@apaul Oh? What happened to 'don't feed a troll'? :/ Why not just close and delete asap?
 
@Tinkeringbell We should do that too, but sometimes it's worth making a note so that people within the community recognize it too.
It's not just a bad question, it's a bad question posted with an agenda. Not everyone notices that sort of thing.
Anyway... Good morning folks!
 
4:14 PM
2
Q: What constitutes a 'lack of research effort' on IPS?

TinkeringbellThis started with this question and a few of the comments there: How do you communicate efficiently with someone who is stuttering? One of our community members wrote a good answer to that question, listing the do's and don'ts of communicating with a stutterer. (link to deleted answer) The OP o...

 
5:12 PM
@apaul What am I missing? Does this person have a history I'm not aware of?
 
@Catija "(My plan is to phrase these in the form of questions, to make them seem universally applicable.)" Seemed pretty thinly veiled.
 
@apaul I guess I don't see that? I mean... people post stuff like "Why do people always feel the need to ______ around me?" on twitter all the time. That doesn't mean they're looking for someone to actually answer. They just want an outlet for a rant.
 
user15026
That question feels very much like "Where can I rant about things and not get in trouble"
 
@Catija I think he's implying that they're trying to figure out how to best rant on Stack Exchange?
 
@TheTinyMan I understand that. I don't think that's the only way to interpret it. I don't think it's a good question but I don't think it hast to have nefarious meaning.
 
5:23 PM
Combined with the term "micro-annoyances" ... It felt a little obvious.
 
@Catija Yeah, I'm kind of on the fence on this one too...which usually means it's a real troll because I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. :-P Sorry, I thought you were having trouble understanding what he was saying about it.
@apaul Are you suggesting that it's TSK?
 
@apaul I really don't see how that has anything to do with SE.
 
@TheTinyMan Tsk?
 
@apaul TheSnarkKnight
(sorry, I'm having trouble understanding what the relevance of that phrasing is, too, and am grasping at straws, and that seemed a viable straw because the term 'micro-aggression' came up in a recent conflict involving him.)
 
@TheTinyMan oh, no, not at all.
 
5:26 PM
@apaul Can you explain what the significance of the term "micro-annoyances" is, then? Sorry...I'm a little slow it seems. :-)
 
@TheTinyMan "micro-annoyances" is likely a loosely hidden version of "micro-aggression" it's obfuscated in order to draw people to take it as borderline.
Looks like they're taking a jab at IPS not SE as a whole. As in "it looks like this is what you're doing here..."
 
@apaul I don't understand what you mean by "to take it as borderline."
Ahh
 
@TheTinyMan hidden enough to stay visible for long enough...
 
@apaul I think I follow now
Thanks for the clarification :-)
 
Had they said "micro-aggression" directly people would have recognize it for what it was immediately.
Just wanted to make sure people saw that.
 
 
1 hour later…
6:33 PM
There's also the user name...
Anyway... About that other subject...
 
@apaul Yeeeah, that user name was pretty trolly :-p
@apaul @Tinkeringbell seems to think that I should gripe about my polyamory woes in here. xD
 
@TheTinyMan when it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...
@TheTinyMan I've been tempted to, but I've assumed that most people wouldn't get it...
 
@apaul Even I get it :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Do you now?
 
@apaul He just explained it to me. I can explain (if he'll let me)
 
6:40 PM
@Tinkeringbell Oh, I don't mind you explaining it, nor would I mind explaining it myself...although I think that @apaul meant polyamory in general, not the specific frustration I had yesterday.
 
@TheTinyMan Why would you have to explain that in more ways than that poly means 'more than one'?
 
@Tinkeringbell Some people are very bad at counting beyond one.
 
@TheTinyMan Trinity?
:P
 
@Tinkeringbell Like from the Matrix? Or are we talking about Christianity?
 
But anyways, yeah you might get a boatload of comments, but you don't have to react to them other than flagging ;)
@TheTinyMan I was thinking Christianity, since I've never watched the Matrix :)
 
6:43 PM
@Tinkeringbell Ahh. Yeah. So you'd think people could count to three, huh? But a lot of them get hung up on resolving "two plus one" still. >.<
Or see "one plus one plus one" as "two with a remainder"
and I'm like, "this isn't even division! >.< "
 
user15026
@apaul I would, if that helps any... (There's not much relationship/sexuality/etc wise that would be unfamiliar to me at this point...)
 
user15026
@TheTinyMan giggles the good old third wheel thing :P
 
@Ash Yep
 
@Tinkeringbell there's a difference between concepts and practical knowledge...
 
@apaul Yeah well I can understand the concept. And I think the practical knowledge is here as well ;-)
 
6:54 PM
@Ash Well my partner has a "flover" friend/lover who also happens to be our ex-girlfriend, both collectively and individually. As in we were all together, then we each dated the other/s individually at some point. It's a hot mess, but we all sorta love each other, so we're all sort of family regardless.
 
@apaul Perfectly intelligible! And super cute. xD
 
user15026
@apaul One of my bestest friends who I love dearly is someone who I dated (and I also dated his wife kinda sorta at the same time) when I was first with my husband - I get you about hot mess but love is what it is, and family just finds you and that's that :P
 
Hmmm.. worst I did was taking my youngest brother to see Cars when I got 2 movie vouchers from a boy for my birthday....
Keeps life easy :)
 
@Tinkeringbell that's what I was talking about... :P
 
I wasn't claiming I had the practical knowledge ;)
 
6:59 PM
@Ash Puts the fun in dysfunctional, but love is love.
 
Just that it was present here :)
 
user15026
@apaul Truer words, my friend :)
 
@TheTinyMan so what's your gripe?
 
@apaul Oh, just communication. Had what I shall term a 'cuddle date' with someone I have a crush on, and I've had a talk with her husband and my nesting partner about moderate-term boundaries, but couldn't pry from her what she was looking for exactly, and had a lot of trouble reading her...and normally I don't have any trouble reading people at all.
 
@TheTinyMan Hmm... That's usually a red flag in my experience... If they can't communicate directly, there's usually trouble coming.
 
7:11 PM
@apaul You're completely right, but she also has very visible social anxiety, to the point where she has a severe stutter in almost everything she says. Also she's not a native English speaker, although I don't know exactly when she moved to the US. I met her and her husband about five years ago.
 
Have you asked directly?
 
@TheTinyMan If they say yes to another cuddle date it's probably safe to assume that they're looking for at least cuddle dates. You could be putting them on the spot or signaling that you're only in this for more if you're pressing the issue if you're wanting to know where it's going.
 
@apaul Yes. When I asked online she didn't respond, and when I asked face to face she changed the subject.
@sphennings Yeah, that's something that I'm worried about, so I plan to give it two more cuddle dates before I come to any conclusions.
 
@TheTinyMan If you enjoy the cuddle dates as an end to itself then there's no reason to limit it to two.
 
It has been a long time (ever, I think) since I've not gotten a kiss in on a first date of any sort. xD
 
7:13 PM
@TheTinyMan Is that a problem?
 
@sphennings Well, my nesting partner has asked that I only have one other partner, and to her a cuddle buddy qualifies...so while I'm patient, I do have other things that I'd like to see happen.
@sphennings No, it's not a problem, it's just - probably falsely - triggering my 'oh gods I fucked this up' anxiety. :-)
 
@TheTinyMan That's an interesting arrangement, having an one cuddle buddy policy.
 
@sphennings My nesting partner is new to polyamory and wants to move veeeeery slowly.
 
@TheTinyMan That's fair.
 
@sphennings Yep :-) She only decided that she wanted to give polyamory a try about...two weeks ago?
 
7:16 PM
@TheTinyMan Different strokes for different folks, but I'd be cautious about getting involved with someone who had trouble communicating plainly.
 
@apaul Yes, 'cautious' is a great word to describe how I feel.
 
@TheTinyMan Oh... Tread carefully.
 
@TheTinyMan Are they seeking partners too?
 
@sphennings She's actually found one already.
 
@TheTinyMan That's a good sign then.
 
7:18 PM
I suspect that she's going to want to increase the pace much more quickly than she thinks she will, if I know her - but that's for the future to decide, not my prediction.
 
How long have the two of you been together?
 
@sphennings About a year.
And we met when I was seeing someone else and was polyamorous with her ... but that relationship was falling the heck apart when I met my current nesting partner, and my former partner was...controlling.
 
Right now my largest relationship concerns are all logistical in nature.
 
@sphennings Time management is always an issue.
 
I have one partner that's 3 hours away and another that's 2 hours away.
 
7:23 PM
@sphennings yikes. Travel time too.
 
We don't have joint google calendars but we really should.
@apaul It was worse when I didn't have a car and was needing to take the bus to visit.
 
@sphennings Joint calendars? Like a single calendar for multiple people, or do you mean sharing access with one another?
 
@TheTinyMan Shared access.
 
@sphennings Gotcha. Yeah...that makes life a lot easier.
 
Eh, just my 2¢ having done it both ways, it's often better to have both, but don't use it as a replacement for taking the time to talk about plans.
 
7:28 PM
It helps that there's a solid "diplomatic backchannel" between my two partners. @apaul is right sooner or later plans need to be talked about. Still it's useful to know when partners are on call for a weekend and won't be making it to this or that event.
 
"didn't you check the calendar?" Rarely goes over well...
 
@apaul Ouch. That's a mistake I've yet to make.
 
@sphennings I haven't either, but I've been on the receiving end once or twice.
 
7:47 PM
Then again, they tend to be planners and I tend to be a little more spontaneous, so partially my fault.
 
user15026
I'm so forgetful that I rely on things being in my Google calendar. Heck, I use Google Now reminders for everything.
 
@Ash sounds familiar lol
 
Yeah, Andy wants everything put in Calendars....
 
user15026
@apaul Looking at today, there's a reminder to buy cat food and a reminder of what I wanted to have for dinner
 
@Ash You are an inspiration to us all.
 
user15026
8:03 PM
I'm just forgetful and I know if I don't put it somewhere, I'll never remember and then I won't know that I wanted pot pies for dinner, just that I wanted something tasty
 
Awww.
 
Can't be forgetting the potpies.
 
8:18 PM
"kidney pie" sounds disgusting.
 
NVZ
Android Pie.
I think is the next one.
Or maybe Android Pazham Pori.
 
My favorite pies are homemade apple pie and Village Inn's French silk pie.
Fleischkuekle is good too
 
Sheppard's pie is pretty impressive.
Again...
0
A: Communicating during sex when my partner doesn't like direct questions?

iDealAssuming you have consent from your girlfriend. Often picked up on by the look in their eyes. The placing of her hands on you. I don't know the fact you're in a relationship already...? I think the issue is in the over communication during sex. My recommendation is to try to be less inquisi...

@Catija looks like someone didn't get it.
 
8:38 PM
@apaul Still better than the second one.
 
@Catija Still not good.
 
Not bad enough for me to delete.
 
Bad enough to dv with extreme prejudice.
 
To quote "don't worry about consent"
 
@sphennings Ya... That's bad mkay...
 
8:43 PM
@apaul To be fair my partner and I have our scene negotiation down to a couple eyebrow wiggles at this point. But that's only because we've spent 3+ years clearly defining what that eyebrow wiggle means.
 
@sphennings Ya, I'd suspect that many couples reach that point of mutual trust and respect, but it takes time and effort to get there
 
9:10 PM
Anyway... About that other subject...
 
I would say sex is like a ballroom dance
 
Ughhh... The beatings will continue until morale improves...
Unfortunately, in some countries the law changes towards a certain direction where consent does not carry over between different sexual acts. Also that verbal resistance is enough - if ignored - to substantiate rape charges. — Randolph Carter 8 mins ago
 
10:13 PM
@apaul because it makes conversations like that neccessary DURING sex, which, as you have correctly pointed out, kills the mood for some (id say a lot of) people. It is unfortunate not only in the sense that the laws completely ignore the nature of sexual encounters, but also in the sense that your answer might be the reasonable one (and i fully agree with you), but legally unsafe. — Randolph Carter 28 mins ago
 
10:59 PM
0
Q: How can I convey to a friend that the way she chews is incredibly loud and uncomfortable?

user477465I have a friend who I'm very close with and this has been something that truly, truly bothers me since I've met her. I've known her for about 4 years now and I have never gathered the courage to tell her that the way she chews is loud and obnoxious. Once she was having an altercation with a cow...

 

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