The Awkward Silence

2:53 AM

0

Q: Answer to "oral sex“ question was deleted - why?

A few hours ago I read a good answer to the question how do I communicate to my husband that I don‘t like oral sex?. If I remember correctly, it has been written by IamSoNotListening. It addressed a few crucial points, I wanted to comment and vote on it now, but it is gone. Can it please be br...

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to ask parents to stop commenting about my weight?

I'm an Asian college girl. My university is abroad, so I only come home during long break e.g. summer. Every time I am home, my parents would be very critical about my weight literally every day. When I walk in front of them, they would say "intolerable. you're very fat. see how your legs squee...

family parents

SmokeDetector

3:48 AM

[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Bad keyword in body: How to ask parents to stop commenting about my weight? by David Yang on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @JarkoDubbeldam)

apaul

6:13 AM

Echo

Extroverted Main Man

8:07 AM

0

Q: Asking my girlfriend to stop doing porn so that we can get married

I've been dating this Canadian girl "Samantha" on and off for about two years, but recently I have felt like settling down and becoming more serious with her - possibly even asking for her hand in marriage next year. The "problem" is that she's a highly sought after porn star for a major label a...

relationships canada marriage sex

Mithrandir

8:21 AM

@ExtrovertedMainMan I'm kinda hoping that this doesn't go the Health.SE route and end up as like just as a sex advice site.

Captain Bohemian

11:49 AM

this place is full of sentimental things.

Tinkeringbell

@D.Hutchinson That's how I buy my clothes as well, but even then I think Scotch and Soda pretty expensive....

@apaul echo

@IntrovertedMetaMan. @IamSoNotListening Take a look at this once you're done celebrating ;)

Jarko Dubbeldam

TBH, I go to C&A for my clothes mostly

And tshirts I order online

A J

There you are, @Tinkeringbell

How was Christmas?

Tinkeringbell

@JarkoDubbeldam #metoo they're the only ones selling turtleneck sweaters sometimes :P

@AJ Uncomfy :P

A J

why

Tinkeringbell

12:02 PM

@AJ Clothing ;) I'm pretty sure I mentioned it already :P

yesterday, by Tinkeringbell

@TheTinyMan Black pants which aren't warm enough, socks, and three long sleeved shirts just to keep my body temperature from dropping beneath 30 degrees :P

A J

Oh

Tinkeringbell

yesterday, by Tinkeringbell

Oh, and a little black vest over the top shirt that constricts movements and feels more like a straightjacket than something festive

yesterday, by Tinkeringbell

And did I mention the jewelry? It gets in the way when I crochet or try to handle a fork and knife :P

But I'm back to wearing a single sweater now, so all good :P

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell echo

A J

@Tinkeringbell good

Tinkeringbell

On the other hand, we had fun dining with the grandparents yesterday...

A J

12:04 PM

@Mithrandir testing testing 1 2 4

Tinkeringbell

And I've managed to do some stabbing and tying up loose ends ;)

A J

:P

@Tinkeringbell Nice!!

Mithrandir

@Tinkeringbell Who'd you stab?

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Mithrandir Turkey

Tinkeringbell

@Mithrandir No one ;-)

A J

12:05 PM

Oh Poor Turkey!!

Tinkeringbell

Not a who, a what :P.... stabbing and tying up loose ends sounds way cooler than 'embroidery' :P

Mithrandir

close-pls | Too Broad | What do you do if someone is telling you something you already know about, such as a fact or something that happened?

Jesse Barnett

12:24 PM

idk about that @Mithrandir

looks okay to me

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How can I tell my aunt that I won't be 'Santa' next year

My family has a very large Christmas get-together every year in which there is a tradition where someone will dress up as Santa, read out a bunch of announcements, put on a bit of an act and give presents to the kids. One of my cousins has happily taken up this role over the last 8 years, she doe...

conflict-aversion family saying-no social-event

Mithrandir

To expand on my previous (admittedly terse) comment, the answers to this question will, I suspect, differ greatly depending on the level of respect that is inherent in each culture. For instance, a Japanese point of view will most likely differ greatly from an American's point of view on interrupting the other person, as the two cultures place a very different focus on the respect that is to be accorded to others. — Arwen Undómiel Dec 13 at 10:39

Jesse Barnett

I disagree @Mithrandir I think in a case like this, being polite is quite universal

otherwise you could argue that every politeness tagged question should be closed if it doesn't include the culture

Mithrandir

There's certainly an argument for that ;)

Jesse Barnett

I added culture to my Santa question just incase :D

Mithrandir

12:30 PM

Regardless, it's your close vote, to cast - or not cast - (mostly) as you wish, so I won't bug you about it.

(The 'mostly' was that if you're constantly VTCing stuff that shouldn't be VTCed, you might discover yourself having a little talk with a mod.)

Jesse Barnett

ahh, im pretty conservative with VTC's, usually save it for posts that are very clearly lacking in something

IamSoNotListening

@Tinkeringbell Is that for real? If so what a cool concept!

Tinkeringbell

12:47 PM

@IamSoNotListening Yeah, that certainly looks like embroidery :P I was thinking of maybe someday cross-stitching something like that ;)

IamSoNotListening

@Tinkeringbell I think I would end up stabbing myself about 3000 times to end up with that.

Tinkeringbell

@IamSoNotListening Hahaha :) That's why they invented thimbles :P

IamSoNotListening

What a novel idea @Tinkeringbell

That question regarding a porn person was interesting. Surprised it wasn't closed honestly.

Jesse Barnett

@IamSoNotListening yeah, at first I assumed it was talking about watching, but after realizing it was about it as a profession it became much more unique of a question

Jarko Dubbeldam

The question can pretty much be generalised to "I am uncomfortable with my SO's profession going forward into marriage", which seems like a legit question.

IamSoNotListening

12:55 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam agreed. we could edit the porn out of it, and make it useful to all.

Jesse Barnett

I think it is fine as is, the porn makes it specific to OP's case, we don't need to remove the personalization to make other people able to relate

they should be able to do so anyway.. at least some people :D

maybe edit out of just the title

IamSoNotListening

@JesseBarnett Yeah that may work. Its a good general topic with the HNQ title.

Mithrandir

...hats are nearing the end...

...and I still need 6 votes :(

A J

Me too...

Mithrandir

@JesseBarnett that seems like the most prudent course of action.

Jarko Dubbeldam

1:04 PM

@IamSoNotListening That's not what I was suggesting though. I think many questions can be generalised, but need a specific example to really complete the case.

Extroverted Main Man

1:19 PM

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Q: How would I help a person who is bored of everything to start being a little more productive?

I have a friend who is literally bored of everything(Male,in his twenties, student). The individual is studying a very interesting subject, Computing Science. He is an average student. He is in his 3rd year and he hardly knows/remembers any of the programming skills he supposedly learned in the ...

friends how-to-help

Jesse Barnett

Do i need to bother responding to a comment suggesting to tell kids santa is not real?

Mithrandir

@JesseBarnett No, just flag it.

Tinkeringbell

@JesseBarnett Uhmm nope: We want people to know what they're clicking on

Jesse Barnett

for reference this is the comment i was talking about

interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/8473/…

Jarko Dubbeldam

Stinks of an answer in comments. You might suggest them turning that into an answer, so you can properly downvote it

Jesse Barnett

1:32 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam ahahah, I will wait to see what happens to the flag and then maybe I will suggest that

apaul

2:07 PM

Too broad: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/8470/…

Don't close it because you don't like the subject, close it because it needs additional information to be answered well.

TheTinyMan

Oh, man! Now this is what winter should feel like!

beep boop beep -12C!

apaul

@IamSoNotListening Editing the title makes the question less clear and goes against the guidance provided by the CM's

IamSoNotListening

@apaul Feel free to roll it back.

TheTinyMan

2:27 PM

@apaul Haha, that's a lot of upvotes on that question

apaul

@TheTinyMan Meh, 5 isn't too many. Just surprised that people were discussing it and no one noted that it's lacking information.

TheTinyMan

@apaul Oh, no, I'm not criticizing you for suggesting that it be closed, I'm marvelling that it got the upvotes at all.

Apologies for the lack of clarity.

Then again, I'm marveling because I think that the OP sounds like an asshole. :-P

I'm not actually sure how it's too broad, isn't "how do I approach this topic?" a commonly-accepted question pattern?

Jarko Dubbeldam

I think that question is fine, but w/e

-1

A: How would I help a person who is bored of everything to start being a little more productive?

Based on my personal experience I will answer your question: I need to say some things about myself: I also did Computing Science college, also in my 3° year of college I stopped and just resumed after a year of 'boring things to do', also in that year I had no social life and I was just stuck ...

What was our stance on diagnoses?

@ExtrovertedMainMan Possible duplicate of this: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/6153/…

Not sure, since one shows some signs of depression, while the other is diagnosed, but still :/

apaul

3:01 PM

@TheTinyMan It kinda is, but the devil is usually in the details.

TheTinyMan

@apaul That makes sense. So what brought it over the line this time?

apaul

@TheTinyMan Well... My first thought was that pornstars tend to have rather short careers. They may end up with a large body of work, but few people last more than 3-5 years. If she's already been doing it for 4 years, her career is likely to come to a natural conclusion soon. Also an "on again off again" relationship doesn't tell us much about where their relationship is now. And knowing why they want their partner out of the business makes a difference too.

TheTinyMan

@apaul I don't see how the length of a potential career would affect the validity of the question, though I do agree that your other two issues are clarifications worth requesting.

Oh, I see upon further reflection, the remaining duration of a potential career would greatly inform any conversation that the OP would have with her. I'm slow in the mornings, that's my excuse until about 5 PM. ;-)

Jarko Dubbeldam

3:17 PM

It sounds like your friend should see a professional to see if there are specific things he is struggling with. This is not something we can diagnose, sadly. Furthermore, how to help him get out of it is very much dependent on what is the root cause of the behaviour, which leads us back to professional help. — Jarko Dubbeldam 13 secs ago

thoughts?

apaul

@TheTinyMan Ya. If she's likely to be retiring in 6 months to a year, trying to push for an early retirement may cause a rift in the relationship that could have been avoided by being patient.

Jarko Dubbeldam

@Tinkeringbell worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/100823/…

apaul

@JarkoDubbeldam You're probably right, but the question wasn't really phrased as a "professional help question" It is a bit broad though, helping someone find the motivation to get through school and working through boredom is something I'm pretty sure there are several books about.

Jarko Dubbeldam

I know, it's tricky though, because if there is something else at play, attempts at helping him may backfire

apaul

@JarkoDubbeldam That's also true, but that's nearly always the case.

TheTinyMan

3:28 PM

@JarkoDubbeldam You know, I saw that question yesterday, but didn't see why the 'dragon-like' adds unusual challenges to the task

Maybe it's because my girlfriend and I have been playing Spore lately, but my response to that is, "um...give it good eyes, fingers, and fine motor skills, and you're good...right?"

Jarko Dubbeldam

hehe

hmm, I played that game a bit

was cool up to space, space was meh

TheTinyMan

Yeah

Being able to go in and edit other worlds was neat but IIRC that was the only interesting element in the space phase

I also think I found the civ stage to be pretty weak?

But right now our biggest problem, both of us, is that we're not used to games that don't autosave any more, so we've both lost hours to assuming that there was a recent autosave. xD

Jarko Dubbeldam

@TheTinyMan eh, it was pretty easy, but Ï liked it

TheTinyMan

@JarkoDubbeldam Oh, to be sure. That editor - well, 'those editors' are amazing. xD

D.Hutchinson

6:38 PM

@Tinkeringbell they have sales pretty frequently, I've seen :)

@Tinkeringbell the only item at Scotch and Soda that never goes on sale are their slim-fit Stuart pants, which I have several pairs of, because they're pretty great :P

nice quality cotton fabric, classic slim, and just a nice change from wearing denim jeans all the time :)

Hi @AnneDaunted :)

apaul

8:13 PM

I've gotten a couple of unexplained DVs on this: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/8437/… am I missing something, or?

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Why don't I feel any sad emotions

I didnt really know what StackExchange network to ask this on. I figured this one has the most to do with my question. If this is the incorrect site please tell me and point me toward the correct one. About 2 years ago in november my grandma passed away after fighting terminal cancer for 4 years...

conflict-aversion

TheTinyMan

@apaul Your answer looks just fine to me O.o

Captain Bohemian

sometimes when you are exposed to a very distressful situation for too long, you would become unfeeling to it. You consider you no long have feeling to it, but that's just a superficial disguise.

apaul

8:29 PM

@TheTinyMan dunno. Tim probably lost his keys again.

TheTinyMan

That moment when someone's question clearly doesn't belong on SE but you want to help them so you just have a conversation in comments about how to get help because we're already violating rules so why not?

Em C

@TheTinyMan it's probably all going to get deleted anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I feel bad for the kid because it all seems very normal to me but he seems convinced that he's doomed to be a sociopath :(

Mithrandir

Well... that question didn't go as expected.

TheTinyMan

8:45 PM

@EmC Yep, that's my observation, too

Em C

9:05 PM

I keep surprising myself with how many IPS questions I can "solve" via rubber duck debugging, just by typing them out in the ask page :)

now I'm stuck on a "should I do X or Y" question but that's off-topic anyways :P

Mithrandir

<soul selling>I need another 4 votes still >.<</soul selling>

@EmC I've done that several times, too :D

Em C

@Mithrandir for a hat?

Mithrandir

indeed

Em C

ahh, good luck :) I don't have a lit account..

Mithrandir

it's around 3 clicks to create one?

Em C

9:18 PM

I was on vacation for the last while, using mobile, so I got surprised by all the new hats when I got back :D

Extroverted Main Man

9:52 PM

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Q: How to deal with people who always talk discursively?

Let's say someone always abruptly switches topic when you are discussing serious things, e.g., for work. Surprisingly, you can also tell that this person is obviously listening and cares about the topic. However, at least in most cases, you really need to continue the conversation on that topic. ...

conversations

Em C

10:15 PM

I was really liking this answer interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/8490/3171 but then I got to the diet advice part :/

Extroverted Main Man

10:56 PM

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Q: How to temporarily estrange myself from my family/parents

To preface this question, I am 30 years old and not local to my family. Several years ago I had an opportunity in my job field that I failed to achieve success at. After the fact and upon reflection, their were multiple failures involved, mostly of my own doing, but I also realized that my paren...

family parents

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