The Awkward Silence

Yeah. I've never found a good way to deal with stuff that's only in between someone else's ears... besides 'I'm not going to sit here and let myself be treated like that'.

Extroverted Main Man

7:56 AM

0

Q: Which behaviour should I have?

When my direct superior is angry, he is nervous and not patient, so he explains me an information, but bad... I can't understand, he chews his words, should I insist over him to have the required information, or should I let him talk in the empty to risk to make an out-of-subject work ? When I ...

IPS Comment Bot

9:24 AM

"share what you know with others, especially in the workplace because frankly your employer would probably expect it of you." — Mugen 57 secs ago

#18661 Mugen (1869 rep) | A: How do you deal with colleagues, acquaintances asking you for knowledge that you gained with months of effort? (score: 81) | posted 941 days ago by Astralbee (26863 rep) | edited 932 days ago by Astralbee (26863 rep) | Toxicity 0.15352264 | Comment on inacti

Arthur Hv

I have a small argument at work idk how to solve

I took a stance being in favor of reviewer can amend pull request and notify reviewee if they like, 2 ppl in our team said no and raised arguments that seem very shallow to me like "if you do that and you disagree with the ammend you'll have to actually remove a commit from git" which is 4s of work and I pointed that out

I'm genuinely wanting to understand why resisting change but it seem strongly emotion-based and difficult for them to explain

IPS Comment Bot

While I'm grateful to you for taking the time to reply to my answer, I feel that this answer misses the context : it isn't work related. Colleagues are NOT entitled to the info. My employer does NOT have a say in this. It's also hurtful the way you justify that you're sharing info on SO / SE sites and use that to compare with my situation of real life. Both have different social dynamics. If someone on SE were to ask a question on server setup I obviously answer it too when I know the answer to it. — Mugen 53 secs ago

#18661 Mugen (1869 rep) | A: How do you deal with colleagues, acquaintances asking you for knowledge that you gained with months of effort? (score: 81) | posted 941 days ago by Astralbee (26863 rep) | edited 932 days ago by Astralbee (26863 rep) | Toxicity 0.05681936 | Comment on inacti

Tinkeringbell

9:39 AM

@ArthurHv I've seen the attitude before, a lot of people don't really seem to like the idea of removing commits from git or reverting changes.... even I got taught to be extremely careful with doing those kinds of things.

I don't really understand the true reason, but it's probably because quite a few things can go wrong

Github does have a 'suggested changes' feature though, so if you're using that, perhaps that's a good middle way?

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell removing commits would lose history

Tinkeringbell

Yeah, but reverting them doesn't... and they still told me that was somehow dangerous ;)

Journeyman Geek

I'm rusty... which exact git command ?:D

Arthur Hv

Either you git revert (commit-id) or you git rebase -i, delete the commit, force push

its 4s either way

its on a work branch you own

Since one of the two is senior I imagine this is a bit like "I would like to have full control / ownership on code I submit" as an inner reason prly

I'd like to back off my proposition, but I mean I would like to do so when presented a sound argument :|

If I give up saying "Ok I won't force it on you" I'll give up on a lot of benefits to me, that would personally enjoy people fix my sh** without asking to do so

Journeyman Geek

9:57 AM

ah ok

My last job that did git properly did the latter

the job I'm on a break from is just 'meh, just commit and push'. I'm hoping the server runs out of space :D

Tinkeringbell

10:20 AM

@ArthurHv Sometimes the soundest argument you can have is 'this isn't worth wasting time and effort on anymore'. Arguments on things like these take time and effort, and while it's understandable you don't want to be a doormat... I think in this case, if you don't know how to solve it but would be willing to back off, it's better to keep that in mind.

M.A.R.

10:44 AM

@Tinkeringbell Soundest? Well, I mean, sometimes, quite a lot of times, the winning move is not to play. So you snap a comeback that has nothing to do with having an argument, and are on your way.

The bad-faith comeback is something like that, I think. In a debate, it'd probably be whataboutism, other times, it's a more nuanced equivalent of "get lost"

And nothing wrong with that

Tinkeringbell

That's basically what I was saying... Or trying to say. In each and every interaction you have, you have to ask yourself: do I care enough about this to make it worth my time and effort to play.

Extroverted Main Man

11:05 AM

0

Q: How do you respond to directed friendly banter

To clarify, by “directed friendly banter”, I mean playful and friendly remarks that are directed at me particularly. At least, that’s what it seems to me. These remarks came from a group of colleagues (who are close to each other). Examples of the remarks include “here is the man bla bla bla” whe...

conversations work-environment socializing

lila

3:06 PM

hi

Tinkeringbell

heya

lila

Oh a new avatar, welcome to the Awkward Silence chat room, we don't often... oh, okay, oh.

Tinkeringbell

Now you're just repeating yourself ;)

20 hours ago, by lila

@Tinkeringbell Hi welcome to the Awkward Silence chat room, we don't often get to meet new people here, please make your... oh, oh, okay I see, nevermind.

lila

No, in this instance I needed less time (as evidenced by a shorter message) to click that it is old person with new avatar, it is not the same. I witness arguably the most active person in this chat changed avatar for the first time, give me some time to get used to it, please.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha take your time.

Sarov

3:18 PM

You have 6 seconds.

Tinkeringbell

I'm just hoping no one points out any weird phallic references in this one after me using it for years :P

Sarov

So non-weird ones are fine?

Tinkeringbell

Sure :P

lila

3:33 PM

I am salty and disappointed and surprised a bit; yesterday we had 3 rude/abusive posts that were posted on my watch, they were partly flagged by some people from this "smoke alarm". I came in and manually downvoted each one of these 3 posts before flagging them as rude/abusive myself (which has the effect of instant deletion). And today I see weird notification that I supposedly gained +3 reputation ...

...overnight (but I can immediately tell that it is a glitch because my reputation number is the same as while I went to sleep), then I click on my profile page and it says "+3 reputation: reversal (serial voting correction)", ooookay give me a break, what? Are you serious? ;_;

And I know it is these 3 posts because I went to check on each one and by the look of the down-arrow-icon I see that my downvote has been undone.

Tinkeringbell

4:11 PM

@lila Yeah, the serial voting script reversing legitimate votes is a thing, I had it happen once too (before I was a mod, someone posting 'witty' oneliners, I flagged and downvoted each of them and most of the votes were reversed). You don't need to downvote r/a posts though, just flag deleting them is fine :)

Sarov

4:42 PM

@ArthurHv Ime this is an issue of code ownership. I've had this exact same discussion before and it basically boiled down to his view being "My code, don't touch. If there's a change that needs to be made, I need to make the change so that I'll understand it which I need to because it's my feature." Whereas my view was "No one owns code. We're all on the same Team and we should all share equal ownership of all code."

Sarov

5:05 PM

@Tinkeringbell interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/26965/…

FYI. The OP forgot to @ you so I dunno if you saw.

Tinkeringbell

@Sarov If you're the only commenter, you automatically get a notification, even if there's no @reply ;) So yeah, I saw.

Sarov

Really? Huh. Okay then.

Tinkeringbell

Yep!

> Additionally, if a user comments on their own post and there is only one other person who has previously commented on that post, then that person is also notified, even if @name is not used.

And much more can be found here

So.. it's only when the OP of a post comments, and you're the only commenter. It wouldn't work if the second comment was from someone that wasn't the OP.

Sarov

Right.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to provide feedback when my mother tries new recipes, in a way that doesn't upset her but still allows for honesty?

This has been a thing since I was a kid, but I experienced it again tonight. My mother has always done the cooking at home, it's also something she won't give up. She's the kind of person that would rather order takeout than let anyone else cook if she's not feeling like cooking, even when someon...

parents netherlands feedback-methods

lila

5:42 PM

It looks like new posts don't enter the First Posts Queque, or do so after a much longer time than usual. Did you notice this problem as well?

Tinkeringbell

There was a post about it on MSE

20

Q: Change in the way the first posts review queue works?

Was there a recent change in the way the first posts review queue works? I ask this because am I used the get reviews from that queue within the first five minutes after the question (or the answer) having been posted. But, since yesterday, it seems that a post appears at the queue only about an ...

support bug status-review review

lila

@Tinkeringbell Oh thank you SO MUCH.

Tinkeringbell

no problem!

Tinkeringbell

6:36 PM

New popups in the review queues. Even if you have already long earned the privileges, you'll still see them. Don't freak out and report any spelling/grammar errors on the MSE post ;)

Sarov

freaks out

Tinkeringbell

I SAID NOT TO!

Sarov

YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT NOT TO DO!

Tinkeringbell

I JUST DID!

Sarov

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

Tinkeringbell

6:41 PM

True. I never wanted to be your mom!

Sarov

QED.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha

Sarov

dusts off coat then resumes freaking out

Mithical

Sir? This is the no-freak-out zone. The freak-out zone is to your left and a couple steps back. Thank you!

M.A.R.

freaks out to make a statement about the society

Tinkeringbell

6:50 PM

Great, I summoned the freaks out.

M.A.R.

You can do that?

Tinkeringbell

Apparently. It seems to be a relatively newly acquired power.

M.A.R.

There's this mosquito around that keeps biting me. We have nets on the windows, I have no idea how it barged in to the place

Sarov

TBF, that'd be a pretty useful subpower.

Mine is taking sarcasm literally.

M.A.R.

@Sarov Well I'd still rather not get bitten by the mosquito

You can have it

Tinkeringbell

6:52 PM

@M.A.R. It's a mosquito. You honestly thought you could stop it with nets? It probably crawled into your hair or something.

Sarov

No thanks, we will have enough here come non-winter.

M.A.R.

I'm not that unsanitary

I think

dumps self in trash

finds another man's treasure

Tinkeringbell

Hey, for all you know, mosquito's like clean hair to take a lift in ;)

M.A.R.

That is unpossible

Insects are always the antithesis to cleaning. They're like orcs or something.

Tinkeringbell

What're you talking about... insects clean up a lot.

lila

7:18 PM

I know these interface messages are going to be seen by a lot of people on daily basis and I understand the need for polished language, but all that excessive focus and micro-optimizing the language to the point that the presence vs absence of the Oxford comma is discussed makes me a bit, like, I don't understand this and I think it is needless.

Tinkeringbell

Hahaha... Well, I do like consistency between messages. So either use one everywhere or never use one, IMO :P But it's not a big deal, it's one of those small things people on MSE are extraordinarily good at noticing. And there's some bigger stuff there too, I think my answer points out something substantially important at least XD

Sarov

@M.A.R. Now I'm going to add an orc maid NPC to my campaign, just to spite you.

lila

7:33 PM

@Tinkeringbell Oh I also like consistency, don't get me wrong please. I didn't even read all the details in that linked Q&A because Main Meta Stack uses weird technical language in some type of Q&As and the linked Q&A is one of these. I am sorry but regarding English, I only speak the today's 2021 English, not some futuristic 3021 dialect that posts like these contain.

Tinkeringbell

Wha?...

I never noticed that and I moderate that thing! XD

lila

I know you moderate Meta Stack; some posts are less technical and some posts are highly technical, is it really so surprising that I consider the more technical ones, whose I don't understand, to be written in 200 IQ futuristic 3021 English dialect?

Tinkeringbell

No, it's not ;) It's just that I never noticed, because to me most of the posts aren't technical at all... like the one that started this conversation, it's pretty straightforward to me XD

lila

11:08 PM

@M.A.R. Shrimps are in my opinion really close to insects (I know they are not insects but crustaceans, but still) - they walk like insects, have thin insect-like legs, have compound eyes and chitin exoskeleton like insects... my point is, shrimps are extremely beneficial and efficient cleaners in aquarium, they clean plants by eating the algae that covers the plant's stems and leaves, they also eat decaying parts of the plant, but most importantly they don't touch the ...

...healthy parts of the plant; they only clean off the sick or dead parts.

In that sense, they are like maggots cleaning wounds by removing necrotic tissue.

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