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5:53 AM
Morning!
!!/alive
 
I'm alive and well :)
 
 
1 hour later…
7:03 AM
mornin
 
o/
 
woke up at 4 am because of the heat... I also have a dinner with friends scheduled this evening, hope i wont collapse too fast :o
 
:\
 
I'm counting on being able to rest during lunchtime. Yay wfh :)
 
Ael
@caldeirabot Do you have cats then?
 
7:08 AM
 
Ael
Also, moringin people :)
Also, also, it's my two years IPS anniversary \o/
 
@Ael yay \o/
happy IPS anniversary :P
 
happy anniversary
 
Bot will be running all day (except 0-6AM BST on tuesday and wednesday which i'm asleep) until Sunday. Raspberry Pi would be delivered today except no one is home to receive it so yea
 
7:24 AM
> The Team and Technical Agility competency describes the critical skills and Lean-Agile principles and practices that high-performing Agile teams and Teams of Agile teams use to create high-quality solutions for their customers.
It's too Monday for this.
buzzzzzzzzzz
Morning :)
@Ael Congratulations! Glad you stuck around this long :D
 
Ael
Thanks people :D And I am glad I stuck around too :D (even though IPS has been sadely slow those last few months)
 
7:53 AM
Yeah... There's not much going on here, though I may have 1 question I could ask...
I'll write it now :)
 
8:12 AM
yay
 
@Tinkeringbell critical, high-performing and high quality are nothing but subjective judgement. If you get rid of that nonsense, the sentence becomes "practices to develop stuff the customers like"
you can ask me for further marketing language vulgarization. :D
 
@Tinkeringbell Jokes on you, my weekdays start on Saturdays
 
@ArthurHavlicek I have 4 pages that need doing, what's the tariff? :P
 
@Tinkeringbell "Teams of Agile teams"
Agile Agile Teams teams
 
@M.A.R. So, does that mean most muslims hate Sundays? ;)
 
8:27 AM
I dunno but I hate it enough
Insert Twitter outrage
 
0
Q: How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone?

TinkeringbellMy grandfather is having health issues. Last week, he was complaining about being tired, sleeping a lot and acting confused (can't find his way to the bathroom, that kind of stuff). He had a very quick pulse and got some medicine at the beginning of the week to treat this, but it took a while bef...

@Ael there you go ;)
 
When I'm trying to calm someone I take this weird intonation and voice and crush their arguments with irrefutable logic
 
I'm not sure about intonation or voice, but I have tried logic, I think?
 
Ael
8:46 AM
@Tinkeringbell This one is not an issue one :/ I hope someone will have answers for you
 
@Ael Heh, there must be some kind of person out there that works at an emergency service phone line and knows what to do, right?! :P
 
@Tinkeringbell x)
 
Ael
@Tinkeringbell Yeah, I guess
 
@M.A.R. the bot is alive and well if you want cats :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Well I go this Jeff Lebowski high-pitched "y'know, y'know" voice
It's squealy but mellow
 
Ael
8:51 AM
@Tinkeringbell Actually, even though I never working at an emergency service phone, I might have an answer (but I should probably be working right now, so I'll see about that later today)
 
1
Q: How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone?

TinkeringbellMy grandfather is having health issues. Last week, he was complaining about being tired, sleeping a lot and acting confused (can't find his way to the bathroom, that kind of stuff). He had a very quick pulse and got some medicine at the beginning of the week to treat this, but it took a while bef...

 
Good news, they actually called to me and managed to deliver the raspberry to my neighbor yay
 
9:07 AM
no answer, to your question, but commiseration and an anecdote
my aunt's husband was feeling dizzy after recovering from a cold and my aunt dragged him to the ER against his will turns out he had a substantial blood clot and may have died because of it without going
a few years ago
 
That's a good thing!
We know my grandfather has all sorts of old-age related problems, and that he's getting forgetful and stuff. It's not unusual for that to be extra visible when he's having heart problems....
Mom and dad are thinking about filing a complaint against the doctors assistant that took away 1 of grandpa's heart medications 'because he was doing so well'.
 
What I'm saying is that it's perfectly natural for your grandmother to be panicking and really concerned
and there's not really anything you can do besides be there for her
 
Perhaps. I would much rather prefer she put the burden of being there on her own kids, instead of mostly on my mother or me.
She has three kids, I don't really get why mom and I are always 'de sjaak'.
Besides, if I was effective at 'being there', I probably would be able to calm her during a phone call, so there's definitely some part of being there I'm still doing wrong then.
 
sometimes I think you are a bit too dutch for your own good :D
 
Ael
@Tink When people are panicking, they wouldn't listen to anyone, only to people they trust the knowledge of. So, even if you were saying all the right things, your grandma might still not listen because she just doesn't trust your medical expertise. I think, you should tell your grandma that, if she is really worried, she should call a doctor/the emergency. I do believe that she will have faith in a doctor and that they will be able to effectively calm here down.
 
9:22 AM
@Magisch ?
 
Ael
I did that once. My grandfather wouldn't wake up from a very deep sleep, my grandma was panicking and no one was able to calm her down (even though my grandpa seemed very all right). So I tell them they should call the emergency. Then we did, they even came and it turns out there was nothing wrong happening. Yes, my grandma felt silly afterward. But we were able to sleep peacefully without constantly worrying after, so that was definitively worth it (plus, there could have been a serious issue)
 
@Tinkeringbell you're very logical, and very direct, in a situation that is neither of those things
 
@Ael :D I did that, see the question...We've all told her she should call emergency services if grandpa needs medical attention.
@Magisch How isn't it logical? It's a basic flowchart: If someone has seen a doctor and is getting worse, call the doctor or an ambulance. If they aren't, wait for the time agreed upon with the doctor before calling again?
I know grandma didn't have the education I've had, but given that they're reluctant to call the doctor in the first place, this shouldn't be too hard?
 
Ael
@Tinkeringbell People are usually afraid to call the emergency "for nothing". Was it the reason your grandma wouldn't do it? In the case of my grandpa, I also had to tell my grandma that it was okay to call a doctor. She needed some convincing but she eventually agreed to do it and it solved the issue
 
@Ael Perhaps. But then I don't understand why she thinks it's okay to call us for nothing, but not the doctor or an ambulance.
 
9:28 AM
@Tinkeringbell cause there's a metric ton of fear, uncertainty and anxiety involved
maybe on some level she was just afraid and lonely and wanted to talk to someone rather then feeling helpless, but also scared to call the ambulance or doctor for nothing
there's a long list of irrational responses people can manifest to situations of great stress & distress
 
Especially if you're calling three people and they've been telling you the same story for days, that it's okay to call the doctor if things have gotten worse, otherwise we'll be there at the agreed upon time (after dinner).
@Magisch Then a phone call should've calmed her down, not make things worse?
Btw it's her that keeps breaking up calls with 'never mind then'...
Not very much a sign of someone that wants to talk to someone to be calmed down?
 
Your nerves never been raw?
That just sounds like her nerves were incredibly raw and she was having a protracted panic attack, which tbh I can completely understand when you think your partner might die
 
Sigh, well, knowing this is helpless at least doesn't do much to calm me down.
I guess I'll just refrain from picking up the phone then. Thank goodness for caller ID.
 
like I said, I can't give you an answer
:P
 
Yeah, I remember ;)
 
9:35 AM
You kinda are peak dutch though
I need to remember to never get into a debate with you, because I would most definitely lose
 
I don't know if that's good or bad...
I like to think that remaining calm when shit happens is one of my good sides.
(even though I don't usually feel calm, so it's more 'looking calm', I guess)
 
I know i can remain calm on dire situations, but usually get anxiety peaks and panic when mostly nothing happens
this is a bit weird
regarding the grandma issue i dont really know, a tactic more than a solution would be to make her talk
I believe talking forces you to focus on your conscious self and be less emotional
it's also a way to delay things so the attack passes
 
9:59 AM
@ArthurHavlicek Sure, any suggestions on how to, besides asking her what happened now and if grandpa is actually getting worse?
She hangs up when you ask that.
 
10:18 AM
@caldeirabot can we have a kitty? :P
 
10:49 AM
@caldeirabot cat?
 
\o/
cat!
 
0
Q: Why do people, including myself, want to relive certain (not all!) traumatic experiences?

KievanI was a typical "nerd" in school. It was like a movie scene when I walked to my locker and the popular cheerleaders were standing there, blowing bubble gum and giggling with the jocks. They would embarrass me and generally bully me in a manner which I didn't at all enjoy at the time. However, and...

 
@ExtrovertedMainMan Request for information: is that question actually on-topic on this site?
 
11:04 AM
I don't think so
just from the title alone
haven't read the full Q yet
 
11:32 AM
@Tinkeringbell If she asks for your parents without explanation then maybe ask what to tell them ? Well that's very difficult not to ask "what is going on". I would certainly start there otherwise
If she hangs up at that point not sure you can do anything
@Mast Don't think it is, it's personal / psychological question not interpersonal one IMHO and also a bit too broad to be solvable
 
Where's the flags and votes then? D:
 
@Tinkeringbell D:
i'm gonna have lunch now ;P
i'll give it a flag in a sec
 
@ArthurHavlicek I might try that specific phrasing someday perhaps, though I feel it's not much different from me asking 'what is going on, why do I need to call them, has grandpa gotten worse? '
 
11:47 AM
but the question is above IPS budget though XD and off-topic
there, the question now has the PT flag :P
 
Looks good! Having a vote, comment and flag seem to help: there's three cv's now :)
Thanks, both of you :)
 
@ArthurHavlicek That's what I thought.
@Tinkeringbell Feel free to take it out :-)
 
I'll wait and see if it gets one more ;)
I've been the moderator that single-handedly closed a lot lately ;)
 
12:04 PM
@Tinkeringbell in the discord i'm in we have an emote called :birboverlord:
 
it's because the CM is called penguin
 
Hahaha
penguins are good birds to be overlords :)
I closed the question now, as the 5th voter :D
 
we also have :meanbirb: :birbyikes: and :pogbirb: I think. Those may also be the pepe ones
 
12:10 PM
:birbforworlddomination:
 
I think I'm glad the Discord servers I'm on don't do silly stuff like that :P
 
sometimes I wonder
 
wonder about what?!
( I don't like cliffhangers)
 
It seems like we're from two different generations
but you're only like 3 years older
where do you source your infinite energy to be serious and rational
 
@Magisch I take three pills a day for that. It's emotional stability they call it.
It's a good and desirable thing to me
to be stable
 
12:17 PM
@ArthurHavlicek What's the side effects?
 
I have a stable daily routine but I'm not emotionally stable like that
 
@Mast Not many but you have to take them for a long time for it to be effective. There are also risks for the kidney if you don't drink enough, stuff like that.
 
Like that grandparent situation. The last time my grandpa was sick I was an unstable emotional mess for 3 weeks
Maybe that's too personal a question to ask in a SE chat room, apologies :p
 
It's kind of difficult to answer why you are the way you are. It can be perceived a bit aggressively I suppose. I know for sure doctors have no idea where bipolarity come from, let alone why individuals vary in emotional fluctuations
 
I have asked a friend of mine the same thing, he got married and bought a house last year
actually 2 years younger then me too
 
12:26 PM
are you envious or something ? Do you think something is wrong with you ?
 
not really, but also kind of
I'm not doing badly career wise or money wise but I do wonder when the supposed "adult feeling" is going to kick in
I don't feel that much differently then from when I was in school
 
You don't?
My job (and previous jobs) don't feel like school at all.
I'd love to go back if I'd be able to manage that financially.
 
@Mast I like the day to day better then when I was in school, but the only thing that really changed is I fling some more money around. Everyone is always saying that it's different when you pay your own bills but it doesn't really feel like it
 
@Magisch I don't know... I've always been like that though if you believe my mother.
I tire more easily from acting silly and irrational?
 
@Magisch Well adulthood is partly a myth to me ! People say lotsa stuff that will be different "when you grow up" but really aren't haha
 
12:33 PM
@Magisch No worries you can ask, I had to type an e-mail though in between so it seems like I'm actually working XD
 
heh
 
@Magisch The grandparent situation isn't leaving me unaffected either. Last time when my grandmother went to the hospital had me cleaning out closets just so I'd have something to do that didn't put me in the vicinity of my dad.
 
@ArthurHavlicek I think the bills to pay thing specifically is overrated
 
This time, it's annoying me too, and I definitely get tired trying to handle things like the associated stress.
 
@Tinkeringbell you're welcome :)
 
12:34 PM
The nerves I get are more from others around me though, that sucks.
 
All of my recurring bills are on autopay or autodraft. I have a budget laid out in advance. I only check my bank statements once a month. most days I don't spend a single minute thinking about money. Yet almost everyone I talk to names that as the most important thing about being an adult
 
Which is probably also why I'm always trying to fix things XD
 
@Magisch As long as there's enough money coming in, the bills aren't stressful. Unemployment makes handling bills uncomfortable.
 
@Magisch Yea well. I'm inclined to think that having a child is a tough step tho. But being adult is going to school plus having sex more or less.
 
Maybe I too should buy a house or apartment so I have something to worry about
 
12:37 PM
@Magisch Financial stability and independence is an adult thing... but it doesn't mean you worry about money, I think.
I don't worry about money either (okay, these days I'm a little nervous I might've not saved up enough money to really decorate and furnish my apartment the way I want it XD)... yet I am financially stable and independent (it doesn't feel specifically adult though people that don't have it point out I am very much an adult for that reason)
 
also I spend money on frivolous things like having people draw a catcus for me
:D
 
XD
i also did the same a while ago
 
I swear though that artist's stuff is gonna hang in an art gallery some day
 
so thats not frivolous. call it investment
 
@ArthurHavlicek better, call it a negative transaction on your bank account ;)
 
12:44 PM
I just bought a new kitchen. The construction work involved + kitchen + the extra car I bought recently set my reserves back a little.
 
I wanna buy a giant beanbag chair
 
Does that make me worry about money? No. I know what goes in, what goes out and what's left to invest in the house and other stuff.
Know, so thy shoult not worry.
 
@Mast my cousin is on the same boat, about to buy a kitchen as well :P
 
I will buy a giant beanbag chair. I'll order it after work
I wanted one for so long i'll just get it
 
I'm still waiting on the last two packages I ordered, so no ordering for a while.
One of them is 140kg, if they show up when I'm not there they're s!@t out of luck.
 
12:51 PM
@Magisch This sounds good!
 
@Mast :o
you better be home for that XD
 
Still didn't take time to install my Raspberry pi
 
"Who here hasn't been called by their full name by a parent or guardian who wanted you to know they were being deadly serious?" : From what I can gather, this seems to be an english-speaking world thing. I can’t remember ever being called by my full name during a scolding (or any other reason, except maybe when renewing my ID card…). :-) — breversa 1 min ago
#10774 breversa (1080 rep) | A: How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer? (score: 11) | posted 900 days ago by Mark Booth (211 rep) | edited 900 days ago by Mark Booth (211 rep) | Toxicity 0.3768742 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
 
heyo bot
 
@CaldeiraG That's what I thought, so I told them exactly on what day to deliver. No response.
 
12:56 PM
@caldeirabot tp
 
Marked this comment as flaggable (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
 
@caldeirabot thanks :)
@Mast oof
@ArthurHavlicek takes about 20min to do XD
 
On the other hand, I'm fairly sure they simply haven't got the items yet and they simply neglected to mention this on their website. But they should've delivered Saturday so I'll be calling them tomorrow not to try till next Saturday...
 
i see
managed to get the bot to talk eheh
should i increase the 15% chance of getting a custom response?
 
@caldeirabot cat?
 
1:02 PM
 
@caldeirabot uhh ok :P
 
@caldeirabot non disturbing cat?
 
better
 
!!/cat
 
1:07 PM
that comment does not exist :P
do as magisch did
per ex. @caldeirabot cat
 
kitty works too
 
now you just need to implement dog and wombat
 
You have a GitHub filled with cat pictures or something?
 
@Magisch dog is a thing
these guys have
@caldeirabot dog?
 
1:09 PM
 
implement parrot
:D
 
CaaS, naturally.
 
@Mast yes XD
GitHub link of the bot
@Magisch if i had a database available with either birds or wombats sure XD
 
@Mast yeah i've looked into that page, didn't find anything much other than fish facts and bird facts XD
there is foxes though
 
1:30 PM
@caldeirabot that's a well bread cat
 
cats and printers, what could go wrong
 
 
@Mast cat fax
 
Warm and cozy.
 
2:36 PM
P.S. If you are at school/college, it is probably worth asking a counsellor if one is available. Again, don't take their word as gospel - just pick what suites you. — chasly - reinstate Monica 31 secs ago
#25997 chasly - reinstate Monica (111 rep) | Q: How to calm a panicking grandmother over the phone? (score: 3) | posted 6 hours ago by Tinkeringbell (29755 rep) | Toxicity 0.26298824 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]
 
@caldeirabot tp
 
Marked this comment as flaggable (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
 
Smokey but different?
 
yes and no, this only checks comments; it sends messages to TAS when a comment content matches a regex
if you reply saying huh it will give you more info
@caldeirabot huh?
 
Matched reason "possible-aic" for regex \bworth\b
 
2:41 PM
a part of Smokey is just that, checking if it matches with possible spam regexes
this bot is not about spam but about "possible-answer-in-comment", "chatty", etc
so it can be quickly flagged and removed by the diamonds :P
 
You really need to search YouTube for dealing with a narcissist. I'm not sure that this person is but it sounds that way. Arguing with a narc or trying to get an apology is pointless. Note: I f they are quizzing you on your weaknesses, they are probably storing these up to use against you later. — chasly - reinstate Monica 38 secs ago
 
@caldeirabot is youtube really your only source of information?
@caldeirabot tp
 
Marked this comment as flaggable (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
 
@caldeirabot huh?
 
Comment has toxicity of 0.7388681
 
2:45 PM
ah
 
Starting a sentence with "You really need X" is quite a bad start with me
 
@ArthurHavlicek the other comment i just flagged on Tink's Q mentions youtube too
so yea
but i agree
 
User also made a short reply with no sourcing on a question i also answered. I would like to recall the rules but don't want to look like im "protecting" my answer interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/25990/…
 
@Tinkeringbell can you look into this profile (interpersonal.stackexchange.com/users/20782/…) please? User is making several NLN / possible answer comments
thanks in advance :P
 
@CaldeiraG Well, is Tink going to stare chasly into submission, or?
 
3:00 PM
a message perhaps?
 
@ArthurHavlicek It's perfectly okay to help with moderation and ask for resources on a reply to a question you answered. If people are gonna make the wrong conclusions, they were going to anyway.
 
Ok, i'll attempt that
 
@JourneymanGeek ur bread
 
@ArthurHavlicek you can also custom-flag if you need
explain your concerns with the post
 
@CaldeiraG Misplaced/misguided comments are often rather a minor offense. You don't crack a walnut with a sledgehammer
 
3:02 PM
No need to flag. It's just low quality. Suggestion to improve should do
 
Cracks a walnut with a bazooka
 
@M.A.R. 1 or 2 it's ok yea i think
 
When someone is unintentionally making work for the curators, usually someone ends up nudging them in a comment
"Hey X, can you stop posting short answers in comments? We have a stricter comment moderation policy here than you might be used to."
Simple as that.
 
Did the policy change ? Can't find a strict requirement for backing up answers anymore
 
@ArthurHavlicek nope i don't think it changed
10
A: How do I write a good answer?

TinkeringbellProvide expertise, not an opinion. The best answers on this site don't just say 'try this' or 'I think this must work'. Explain why you think that your answer is the solution to the problem posed in the question. The best answers on a subjective StackExchange site are written to include expertis...

 
3:08 PM
ah, thank you, well this is far more informative than the help center i'm afraid
 
use the on Meta.IPS
you will find useful information
the help center is mostly generic stuff that's on every other site
with a few changes
compare this (interpersonal.stackexchange.com/help/how-to-answer) to the answer i just linked
speaking of flags, will do my review queue on SU
 
Your answers could be improved by explaining rationale behind decisions, going more in-depth about the interpersonal issue, and also how you would not do the same mistake again ? We also usually try to provide backup to answers (see interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/3266/…) to avoid them being purely opinion based. — Arthur Havlicek 1 min ago
#25999 Arthur Havlicek (1654 rep) | A: I don't want to make a free website anymore. Also concerned person may have signed up for auto-renewing hosting (score: -1) | posted 27 minutes ago by chasly - reinstate Monica (109 rep) | Toxicity 0.015665572 | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 
HOW COMES IM CHATTY
;___;
 
eheh
0.01 toxicity
that's quite impressive
@caldeirabot fp
 
Marked this comment as not flag-worthy (fp). Currently marked 0tps/1fps
 
3:21 PM
@caldeirabot huh?
 
Matched reason "chatty" for regex ^(?!.*how\Wto\Wwrite).*(terrible|horrible|bad|excellent|great|good|nice|wonderful)\W?(advice|answer|explanation).*$
 
3:56 PM
@CaldeiraG Just for the process: Could you raise a custom moderator flag now and next time, preferably on a post and not a comment? That way someone else can see this too. I probably won't have time to get it tonight :)
Having the bot back is good though :D
 
@Tinkeringbell do you want me to make one now or?
:p
@Tinkeringbell yeah
 
@CaldeiraG Yes please, like I said I probably won't have the time to handle this tonight, that way either someone can handle it while I'm busy or I won't forget about about it :P
 
@Tinkeringbell consider it done, let me get home first ;)
 
Thank you!
 
You're welcome :)
 
 
2 hours later…
6:25 PM
I finally got my speedy catcus: i.stack.imgur.com/r0pfQ.jpg
 
oh noice
:D
 
someday I'll also get the curled up sleeping catcus
 
great
bot is currently off, moving files to raspberry as of right now
:D
 
7:11 PM
@Magisch It's perfect!
 
It's a plant
:D
 
It it is!
 
@ArthurHavlicek help sucks I'm afraid
What's the magic link, ugh.
 
7:56 PM
i don't know why but it's been a pain to download ips-comment-bot from google drive
lol
ok i managed to do it
 
8:16 PM
!!/alive
 
I'm alive and well :)
 
great
Great news: the bot is running on my Raspberry Pi from now on! Feel free to request cats/dogs and give reports, bot will be running 24/7 starting now. If you notice the bot doesn't respond to commands/offline please tag me :D
i just need to make this as a service so everytime i reboot it starts automatically
 
@caldeirabot kitty
 
Hasta la vista
 
9:25 PM
I was going to talk about making a Statement of Work and Service Agreements; you have touched on that. I completely agree about your being willing and able to walk away from a project that is suffering scope creep. My contractor had a saying: people would ask him to "put in a short pipe and while you're at it, can you put a bathroom at the end of it?" I would suggest drawing up that agreement before taking one more step. — baldPrussian 1 min ago
#25991 baldPrussian (29140 rep) | A: I don't want to make a free website anymore. Also concerned person may have signed up for auto-renewing hosting (score: 24) | posted 3 days ago by Arthur Havlicek (1694 rep) | edited 3 days ago by Arthur Havlicek (1694 rep) | Toxicity 0.3
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
 

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