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12:47 AM
oy yi yi yi i'm tackling some of these comments here
1:04 AM
29 messages moved to Trash
sigh much better. Have a good night y'all :)
4 hours later…
5:29 AM
13 messages moved to Trash
Morning everyone!
@avazula morning!
@AJ how's it going today?
6:02 AM
@avazula Okaish. how about you?
@AJ oh? What's happening? :/
I'm good :)
@avazula more busy at workplace.
6:56 AM
@AJ oh no :(
7:14 AM
Why do you need to tell them politely? Tell them they are an entitled jerk who lacks empathy. — James 13 secs ago
#20329 James (101 rep) | Q: How to politely tell a friend that his views on women are extreme? (score: 12) | posted 213 days ago by (deleted user) | edited 16 hours ago by Imus (4081 rep) | Toxicity 0.8377431 | High toxicity | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]
@IPSCommentBot tp
Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps. beep boop My human overlords won't let me flag that, so you'll have to do it yourself.
7:49 AM
I don't really agree with this approach, as it is still conveying the message that a woman is only worthy of respect if they're personally related to him, it will not fix the problem in the long run. Another important part of it is that he might not even be THAT aware of the experiences of his female relations. I did have a run-in with a colleague (that worked on HR, that's even worse) that was making sexist comments and would be completely immune to this. In the end I just point-blank stated that the comments were really sexist and he should stop. He's from HR, he knows the consequences. — Juliana Karasawa Souza 1 min ago
#20357 Juliana Karasawa Souza (175 rep) | A: How to politely tell a friend that his views on women are extreme? (score: 1) | posted 210 days ago by AgTarlú (35 rep) | Toxicity 0.27930954 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]
Calling IPS people to the rescue: we have some issues evaluating whether this answer should remain, as it may look quite violent to allies and people concerned to be compared to maintainers of oppressives regimes. Could you tell us what you think about it? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/22414/…
Eeeeehhhh. @Imus as much as I appreciate this... perhaps it's better to focus that kind of stuff on recent questions, not the ones that are almost a year old, posted by now deleted user accounts :P All those comments to clean up!
@Tinkeringbell Hmm, Sorry about that, was in a slightly bad mood yesterday and thought I'd fix that with some badge hunting
Considered that post and edit rather harmless ... didn't think about the work it would cause you :) my sincerest appologies.
On the plus side, it did get me my excavator badge XD
@Imus I hope you're ok now. :)
Doing great :)
Especially now that I know I gave Tink more work :p (those appologies were never sincere! muahahaha!)
8:04 AM
You can never get an Archeologist and Copy Editor badge without a ping in a chat room about your edits. ;)
@NogShine Not sure if you read the discussion yesterday about how I deal with things: Not my problem :p
No, I haven't read your discussion. Are you saying discussion about badges?
8:19 AM
No, the discussion with Tink before she asked the question about the aftermath of gossip
A big point in that discussion was that I'm really good at annoying people with my indifference :)
Mostly meant as a joke, and ofcourse it was never my intention to give Tink work as a result of my badge hunt. yet at the same time it's true. I'm good at ignoring things people accuse me of without feeling bad about it
On the plus side: if you ever feel like insulting someone as a way to vent, it's preferable you pick me :) I don't care and those that would care don't have to deal with it ^^,
disclaimer: might not work as you intended if you expect any sort of serious response from me if you do though ...
Just an addition - don't compliment strangers on foundation, concealer, etc, because it's usually used to hide something, or could . Instead, focus on eyeliner, eyeshadow, or lipstick - I (a girl) have complimented a lot of people on those and they all seem genuinely happy. — tryin 19 secs ago
#20710 tryin (291 rep) | A: How to compliment a woman’s makeup? (score: 13) | posted 175 days ago by Ælis (8045 rep) | Toxicity 0.087988794 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
@avazula It does include unnecessary details even though question clarifies that there's no such highly valued agenda.
Feel free to delete my comment if you can include the message in yours/other mod's.
@IPSCommentBot Let @Ælis deal with it, no?
Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo
8:34 AM
@Imus It's okay, I understand people like their badges :P
8:46 AM
<rant> I don't like the LGBTQ question anymore. I understand that in certain places it's a real issue in how LGBTQ or otherwise are treated with a lack of respect. But is that really a reason to go on a witchhunt agains anyone who might give the smallest hint of oposition? When people have to be afraid to even propose to remove decorations several weeks after pride month, aren't we taking things a bit too far in the other direction? </rant>
I don't like the question anymore because I answered it and now I can't be a helicoptermod fixing problems there... LGBTQ questions are always going to get like that, along with anything mentioning veganism or religion :/ People have opinions, you know :P
@Tinkeringbell At least on veganism the consensus is that "yes you're allowed to be vegan, and some accomodation should be made to make you comfortable, but if you start dictating how others should be treating you, you should expect some pushback from the community"
on LGBTQ it's: "yes you're allowed to not be straight, and if anyone dares mention anything that isn't putting you on a pedestal we're going to try to get him fired over it"
Oh, you haven't seen the stuff about 'found the vegan!' then.
That's exactly the kind of pushback I meant
There's sides to everything, and they bring out the worst in people...
It's okay though, I think things will slow down there soon enough.
It has a controversial notice and has been taken out of HNQ due to the amount of answers it now has that all lack quality.
8:53 AM
On the question yes, I'm sure of it. On the topic in general I got the impression that it's going to end up similar to the whole feminism thing
@Imus We'll see. Not on my watch ;)
IPS needs to be a place where people can ask to navigate awkward situations, even if they're stemming from having an unpopular opinion.
@Tinkeringbell noble goal and you guys (we as a community?) are mostly doing a great job at that
I think what went wrong here is that I failed to realize the implications of the language in that post, and was too enthusiastic about answering it... It should've been edited a lot, maybe even closed. But it feels like a conflict of interest to do so now, to moderate the kind of language that answers reacted too, because I have my own answer and 'invalidating' others is never nice, but certainly not if that only makes your own answer look better.
@Imus Everyone does :)
@Tinkeringbell The language of the post is needed to show what exactly is OP's problem, I think
It could very well be possible that OP isn't really pro-LGBTQ but he's also not against it. There shouldn't be anything wrong with such a neutral standpoint in the workplace, so why can't het just ask to get those decorations removed without fearing a huge backlash
And the way it's answered or an answer like mine is treated are exactly validating that fear for backlash which isn't fitting in a workplace. Hence why I don't like the question anymore :)
Anyway, I'm done ranting about it now. Thanks for listening, and I know we wont be able to change anything here anyway ^^,
@Imus Do note that Netherlands/Belgium differ a huge amount with e.g. America. In America, you probably really would have to fear for your life :/ But OP is from the UK, so I think it's more reasonable to assume a Dutch/Belgian POV ;)
@Imus It's an international site, so yeah... this is probably never going to really change, only moderated ;)
It is an approach I regularly use, to jokingly tell people that there's a reason I didn't become a teacher and that their questions are boring me. It works fine. Yet America finds it rude :P
9:10 AM
@Tinkeringbell I think the rudeness is because it's only written down and misses the joking body language to go along with it.
Perhaps... I clearly did mention it with a 'joke' prefix though ;)
only in your last "quote"
But hey, can't appease everyone. That's kinda the point I was trying to make.
Yeah, the first one I only mentioned a 'pleasant' joke.
Guess it's partly a phrasing issue and mostly a cultural difference
For me it would work perfectly as well here
@Imus Yep, but people saw mostly the same in your latest answer: the phrasing was interpreted differently because of a cultural issue.
9:14 AM
that makes a lot of sense :)
I even had a (now deleted, not suggesting improvement) comment on mine saying that asking about removing stuff was arrogant and snarky...
It's... difficult. And why I always try to mention a cultural background if I feel it might help people interpret my answer as coming from my culture. Not that it helps :P
Please don't anymore. It might convince even more people to migrate here and we are already running out of room to build houses -.-
Same here... though I believe it's not so much the room to build stuff (Plenty of room in Flevoland, I think), but the people to build stuff and the materials to build stuff, and people willing to live somewhere besides the Randstad :)
Was thinking Belgium was more densely populated than the Netherlands. Found out Belgium is #33 on this list whereas Netherlands is 29
Then realised that Wallonia is way less densely populated. So looking only at Flanders we'd be #24 instead
Brussels would be #4 o.O
9:29 AM
and still the #1 is 3 times as densely populated. Pure madness XD
Oooh nice - the Lion King soundtrack is on Youtube :)
Pretty good :)
Sounds good! I've been looking for the Hairspray soundtrack on Spotify (the movie one), but can't find it :(
One of my coworkers has sent a meeting invite to someone from another hospital with topic "Sh*t happens"
auch XD
context: we're playing boardgames during our lunch brake, the one we're playing today is actually called "Sh*t happens". The meeting request was sent to the wrong person with the same name as one of the players ...
@Imus you work in a hospital?
9:34 AM
Well, at least it's 'explainable' :P
@avazula Yes, as a programmer :)
@Imus that is so cool!
I used to do this
He makes sure the heart monitors don't crash :P
@Imus bahaha!
I'm not touching heart monitors, that's another firm
9:35 AM
@Imus Philips? :P
what we do is making sure that the results of those heart monitors are available to anyone that is involved with said patient :)
Ooh, nice!
I donno what firm they bought the heart monitors from. But probably philips yes :p
Way better than my 'I make sure the application automatically draws new electricity cables' :P
@Imus either Philips or siemens :p
9:38 AM
Latest addition to our software was integrating new speechrecognition software. On the one hand really cool, on the other a real pain to get working correctly cause our workflow is slightly different from what the company that wrote that software is used to
Those stupid Dutch with their different workflows :p
That's probably also as much details as I'm allowed to say to random strangers on the interwebs XD
Anyone in the loop can probably already tell exactly where I work, and if they work here as well, can also tell exactly who I am now ... woops :p
hahaha Quick, different topic again! :P
Against the grain by Hudson and Troop
I'm amazed at how many votes my answer on workplace has received: workplace.stackexchange.com/a/133017/98893
Thinking about putting up a question: How to have a cup of coffee with a complete stranger that's not awkward :P
@Imus It's workplace :P Everything I see from that site that hits HNQ has at least 1 answer scoring 300 :P
@Tinkeringbell hmm, more interesting one: How to make having a cup of coffee with a complete stranger just awkward enough that they don't run away?
more my kind of thing ^^,
9:42 AM
@Imus yea, I UVed that one.
@Imus XD. We're having someone over to put new tiles in our hallway/toilet. I promised my mom I'd make sure he'd get some coffee and a cookie at 10-ish... but it's kinda really awkward to make someone coffee, and have a cup of tea, and then sit at the same table and trying to talk about stuff :P
@Tinkeringbell The thing about it is that it was my first ever answer posted on that stack. Didn't think much about it at the time
@Tinkeringbell askdiff.Se has HNQ below 10 votes :( nobody votes there.
@Tinkeringbell I would ask him "So, what do you do for a living?" :p
@Imus lolbroek.
9:43 AM
@Imus "Duh, I do works in toilets."
@Tinkeringbell so do you like our toilet?
We talked a bit about programming :P
@Imus Yikes, scary question. I know someone who'd probably have told me to go to the manager's boss about something like that...
@ankiiiiiii Well, he sure should like his own work, I'd say!
@Tinkeringbell kinda the same thing no? We both deal with other peoples shit all day ...
@ankiiiiiii response "No, it's a pain to install this model -.-"
9:45 AM
@Tinkeringbell step 1: Taste the coffee. Step 2: be like 'ugh, I hate coffee'. Step 3: Make some tea or hot chocolate. Step 4: You're now both drinking either tea or hot chocolate, so conversation is unable to be awkward
@Imus I'll break it again and again to have you over again and again .. Uhh
Has nobody seen sex ed on Netflix?
@Imus XD. I don't know, I think he only deals with tiles and porcelain thrones, not shit :P
@Mithrandir24601 I do dislike coffee, so I made a cup of tea immediately, skipping step 1 and 2 :P
@Tinkeringbell So how can the conversation be awkward if you're drinking tea? Such a thing is impossible!
@Tinkeringbell Do you use salt in tea?
9:50 AM
@ankiiiiiii Ehh... no.
Ice in espresso?
I did have an iced coffee once, but didn't like it all that much :)
Suutei tsai (Mongolian: сүүтэй цай, ᠰᠦᠨ ᠲᠡᠢ ᠴᠠᠢ, Turkish: sütlü çay) (literally "tea with milk") is a traditional Mongolian beverage. The name suutei tsai in Mongolian means milk tea. The drink is also known as süütei tsai, tsutai tsai, or Mongolian salty tea. == Preparation == The ingredients to suutei tsai are typically water, milk, tea leaves and salt. A simple recipe might call for one quart of water, one quart of milk, a tablespoon of green tea, and one teaspoon of salt. But the ingredients often vary. Some recipes use green tea while others use black tea. Some recipes even include butter...
Never tried it, but I've heard of it before
@Mithrandir24601 I had it once or twice, when I had cold. I found it nice. It was a simple milk ,water, cardamom, ginger, salt, sugar and tea ofc.
The wiki article exaggerates a simple thing to sound exotic
@ankiiiiiii Hmm... Sounds nice actually - like a ginger-y masala chai. Nice
@ankiiiiiii Good tea feels very exotic when done right :P
10:00 AM
@Mithrandir24601 Ohh UK and tea ofc
@Mithrandir24601 I read that pouring height can change flavour due to aeration.
I am sending the article to my mother
You'll be hard pressed to find someone on SE who's more obsessed about tea than I am... I tend to get obsessed about stuff
@ankiiiiiii I know they do this in e.g. China, although I didn't know that's the reason. It does make for a more enjoyable pouring experience though :)
haha okay, but I haven't had tea since February. It's all Cafe latte and iced espresso for now, since then
@Mithrandir24601 Like a bartender
February?? :O
juggling bottles and glasses
@Mithrandir24601 Winter got over, so did craving
Dear goodness, I'd be dead if I didn't have tea in that long
But, what about bubble tea? Perfect on a hot summers day
10:05 AM
@Mithrandir24601 Not available around :( photos seem interesting :)
@ankiiiiiii this is something I really want to learn someday. The real application of martial arts
Okay multiple things:
1. The closest I have gone to martial arts is kung fu panda series
2. that is really a very interesting to way of passing time when there's no real threat around or one has reached all levels of the art
*Okay what do we do now*
*Your method of tea serving is too normal*
3. Imagine it being poked in the eyes of the person sitting or the nozzle breaking to hit the man with the pot LOL
4. I'd sure be entertained by it and it would be fun to learn too!
You'd be like dr strange: TeaCh Me
and out
10:35 AM
@Mithrandir24601 isn't bubble tea basically sugar water?
I currently like to brew 2-3 cans of mint tea, let them sit overnight to cool, then chill them in the fridge and drink then
@Imus Thanks but I never felt of insulting people to vent out my anger. I have other ways :)
@Tinkeringbell I noticed Parenting also has answers with huge number of upvotes.
11:16 AM
@Magisch well, tea, milk, fruit, sugar (or a ton of honey), some more sugar, so... Why else d'you think it tastes so good?
@Mithrandir24601 I don't know, I never liked bubble tea
I like tea plain and unsweetened generally
@Magisch depends - I've had both good and not-so-good bubble tea before, so it depends where you get it from, I think
Although plain tea is just as good, in a different way :)
11:33 AM
A moderator could perhaps edit the OP's question and add his comment somewhere, which would make it more accessible than here: "I really like this answer because it mirrors what I actually did. Sitting here at this moment, I just conversed with my fiancee and revealed everything. She was thankful not to be left in the dark. However, there is a key element of timing with that: I only shared this information with my fiancee AFTER the bachelorette party. If I had shared this information before that party, it would have been "let out of the bag." Cheers, and thanks for the advice! – typewriter" — Tim 39 secs ago
#4987 Tim (316 rep) | A: Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how? (score: 70) | posted 650 days ago by user3507 (541 rep) | Toxicity 0.09493092 | Comment on inactive post | tps/fps: 0/0
@Mithrandir24601 I have a psychological aversion to sugar sweetened beverages. I like all my drinks to be calorie free because I've found it's way too easy to overeat when you drink things with calories in them
@Magisch fair - if I overeat, this isn't a bad thing - I'm super thin and light
@Mithrandir24601 I have to be conscious of my calorie intake as I put on weight easily and am fairly sedentary.
@IPSCommentBot @Tim Ehh, that's not really what we want: Questions should be as self-sustaining as possible. If OP really did this and it worked, leaving a comment like they did is okay enough (it would be best if they accepted the answer, but we can't force that)...
Invalid feedback type. Valid feedback types are tp, fp, rude, and wrongo
11:41 AM
Also, hi :) This is a chatroom filled with wonderful people, you might be interested in asking any questions you have about the site here :)
11:57 AM
@Magisch eh, most stuff with artificial sweetener tastes terrible to me ;p
If I wanted something with no calories, no caffeine... I'd go with water ;)
@Magisch I too have an aversion for sweetened beverages but not for the same reasons ;) I hate the taste. There's a sour taste lasting after you drank the stuff, I can't stand it.
@JourneymanGeek or just plain tea
@JourneymanGeek I'm trying to watch my caffein intake. Started yesterday, trying to restrain to 4 coffees a day. Honestly, it's hard, and realizing it's hard scares me a bit :p I drink way too much (unsweetened) coffee.
plain mint tea has less then 1kcal per 100ml even if you make it strong
@Magisch I can't stand tea tea
12:00 PM
I can't stand coffee
I need my one cup, indian style
no more
And that's cause I would bring dishonour to my family if I hated coffee I actually like the taste.
@avazula Eh, too much caffeine is one of the lesser substance addictions :p
I've been drinking mint tea almost every day since I found this really good spearmint tea for cheap
@Tinkeringbell Thanks, I understand.
@Magisch I don't think I'm addicted, since I have no issues not drinking coffee in certain circumstances, e.g. on weekends. It's just the work situation: I drink too much coffee, and drink too much in general (I'm at like 3+ liters of water a day...). Drinking is a stress reaction for me
I used the term addiction very loosely there
a lot of people like the energy caffeine consumption gives them, and some have a psychological addiction, but even people who consume too much usually do so out of habit not a real dependance
unless you're chaining like a gram and a half of caffeine shots or tablets each day in which case you may get heart problems sooner rather then later
12:05 PM
@Magisch it's indeed more of an habit for me
@Tim Cool! Sorry, this was about the only way I could think of to contact you ;) Comment flags don't allow us to put reasons in them for declining :/
@Tinkeringbell This is quite nice, though. I've just acquired another SE skill.
@Tim Yep! Chat is a good place to talk about coffee, tea, and moderating IPS ;)
@Imus Neutral isn't really neutral anymore at any point these days
Just today I saw someone I follow on twitter say essentially that if you're neutral/not political on any issue, you're essentially endorsing the status quo on it
@Tinkeringbell And parrots. Especially green ones :p
Red is best! :D
12:35 PM
@JourneymanGeek then you've clearly never had good tea
@Mithrandir24601 there's a particular taste I seem sensitive to
so ironically I can totally stand tea with lemon in it
but not proper tea
@JourneymanGeek but tea = proper tea => tea with lemon = proper tea
proper tea is brewed properlike (not boiled with water or worse milk)
and has cream or double boiled milk (the latter cause of my culture) added to it
@JourneymanGeek wot. That doesn't sound like proper tea...
I mean... tea with cream?? What is this?
I donno wat you brits do ;p
We do double boiled milk
like we do coffee
(heated once, despite the name, in a double boiler)
12:40 PM
@JourneymanGeek the horror
@JourneymanGeek ahh, no OK, that much is still tea. But with cream?
SOmeone told me brits do that.
I donno.
I don't drink the stuff much, so I don't know what anyone else does ;p
Lots of people drink their tea with milk or cream
I disagree personally
With milk, yeah. Cream in tea is something I've never heard of
But cold milk in tea often means it's not good tea
Hot milk tends to be e.g. Masala chai
There's only two things cold milk is good for
iced milo (and some people mix it hot and chill it) and drinking straight up
2 hours later…
2:30 PM
@JourneymanGeek Does 'adding chocolate to it' count as the latter? :-D
oh wait no we do that hot, pardon me
Just woke up, at least that's my excuse. ;-) Hi, everyone!.
@TheTinyMan Milo is a malted chocolate drink
Ooooohhh that does sound better
So... Back when I was conscript, military food was terrible and I used to drink half liter bottles of the stuff from the canteen every me
I can imagine!
It's good stuff. Luckily one of the bottled varients they sell here tastes the same
3:02 PM
o/ all
how are we today?
Busy... but a good kind of busy!
good :p
How about you?
3:05 PM
I'm good :p heading home from work
Nice :) I've been working from home today :D
nice :)
3:27 PM
Hiya, Tink!
Q: How can I encourage cleaner habits to my partner?

BFG95Background I've been seeing my partner for a few years now. We are both young adults, have busy but stable jobs, and have our own living spaces. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. My only problem is my partner's place is usually very messy, and they have very poor cleaning and or...

@Mithrandir24601 you steered two pages of conversation on tea. I must stay beware henceforth
@Mithrandir24601 yup! tea is supposed to be light and masaledar( masala-ed) .
@JourneymanGeek and for shakes, lot of them, @avazula might relate with the drink calories than eating them
3:52 PM
@ankiiiiiii I have been summoned?
Oh good, ava is here now! Time for the sacrifice!
@ankiiiiiii I haven't even got started!
Please don't kill me! I have a cat to feed oh no wait now she hunts her food...
Well I haven't decided yet if you are the sacrifice or if we're sacrificing to you...but the stars tell me that you're involved somehow!
@TheTinyMan Hey! How are you? :P
(sorry, you caught me seconds before dinner ;) )
4:08 PM
@avazula yes, we're talking about drinking calories with the help of shakes made of cold milk because it is not good for tea according to master-tea-chef @Mithrandir24601
How come I dint get any chat notifications when I was on Apple.se? Do I need to log specifically into chat.SE?
@Tinkeringbell I'm good! Working too much as usual! ;-)
4:30 PM
@TheTinyMan haha! I'm the goddess of Non Violent Communication and cartoons! Offer me hugs and pencils :p
@avazula Guess you're the sacrifice, then! Or, wait, maybe this pencil is... either way a hug sounds excellent! :-)
yay :D
@ankiiiiiii I don't drink milk :p I only drink the sacred liquid made by Gods
But mortals just call it beer.
4:50 PM
@TheTinyMan Bad Tinyman :P Go have some fun!
You've earned it, apparently :)
@Tinkeringbell I should! :-p
5:42 PM
oh shoot
I was writing an article after I got what I thought to be a good idea this afternoon
And now I have no idea how to end it
5:55 PM
Oops. Perhaps finish it another day then? I'll bet that as soon as you go to bed, you'll think of an ending! :P
you're right, maybe it's like debugging, the answer comes after a break that's long enough for your brain to process the issue :p
6:12 PM
Well, my brain has reached it's breaking point by now. I'm going to shower and read/sleep :D
have a nice evening! :)
Thanks! If you need me, you know where to find me :P
in the bed? :p
@avazula Exactly! XD
6:45 PM
I just tuned back in, are we raiding Tink's bed now? :o
@avazula this happens all the time
"oh, this'd be a good topic" "okay, good start" "wait, now where am I supposed to go with this?"
@TheTinyMan It might be a cage. It could be a jailbreak attempt.
7:35 PM
Q: Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

DerekI'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a house and living together primarily so that we can practice together more often and take the band ...

2 hours later…
10:03 PM
kinda late to the party, but hey everyone! :) Good news today, I got the part time job I interviewed for a few weeks ago :D
@ElizB Yay! Congrats!
@Ash Thank you! :)
It's relieving to have something now :)
still figuring out start dates, hours, etc
Yeah,I am sure it feels good to have it :)
1 hour later…
11:15 PM
Q: How to get my adult son to stop criticizing his Dad (me)

bivouacI'm married with two grown sons, 30 and 32 years old. The eldest, Seth, lives nearby, so we see each other 2 to 4 times a month and on the one hand, we are very friendly with each other, but on the other hand, Seth is able to criticize or ridicule me for just about everything that I say or do. It...


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