The Awkward Silence - 2019-06-14

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6:26 AM

@EmC that's what I was aiming for :P

@EmC What I meant is that we do have a bot for handling meta comments, it's just that if you do a !!/regexes ips.meta you won't see anything because we did not set it up to run as we did for the main. Most people thought we didn't need such a thing for meta because it's usually harder to determine whether a comment belongs or not ... because meta is, you know, made for discussion :)

Morning everyone!

6:40 AM

...morning...

ola

o/

\o

7:01 AM

@Mithrandir rough evening?

Well, I was up until like 2:30AM, so a bit tired. Was reading up on Wikipedia's notability policies and then was searching for food, so... yeah. :P

7:49 AM

oof :/

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to respond to complaints from strangers about my loud toddler child?

Yesterday we did grocery shopping in our local supermarket, as every week. Normally, my dad would babysit my son (2.5 years) for this time, but it was not possible, so the child joined us. My son was sometimes a bit loud, he's a bit ill which makes him feel uncomfortable and therefore makes him...

europe strangers elderly

so, my SO is having problems with their flatmate (short version: they volunteer to do stuff, and then they do half of it without telling and problems arise from the missing part).
are there good questions on how to communicate with flatmates without turning too confrontational?

(I can be more specific if needed)

1 hour later…

9:08 AM

@Federico We have a specific tag for flatmates issues: roommates and question about bad chores sharing are very common (we do have a tag about "chores" too, but it's really is under use). You might want to search for a similar question that the one you have but, if you don't find, I believe what you want to ask would be a great fit here (we have a faq about question if you need some help writing it)

(And we also have a Sandbox if needed)

@Federico Ola :) there are a lot of questions involving communication with one's roommates on IPS ... It's a bit broad rn to determine which ones could be of best use for you but I'd advise you to type roommatein IPS main's search bar

@Ælis thank you

this is not really about chores, but caring for pets, but I'll use it as a start

@Federico We definitively don't have a question about roommates and pets caring yet, so feel free to write one :)

I have first to discuss that with my SO, if they wish me to write the question or not. If yes, I'll pass by :)

thank you!

You're welcome :)

9:43 AM

Hey everyone

Hello @J.Doe , welcome to the Awkward Silence!

Well, that's awkward

but not silent

Indeed

10:13 AM

Is there some flagging rule that says: if the comment contains "Thank you" and is address to X then, if X flag the comment, the comment is immediately deleted?

There's a regex for short comments containing "thank you" to be automatically deleted when flagged, yes

@Ælis yes, but simpler: if its just thank you, its one flag deleted

Ah, that would explain it, thanks :)

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Is my girlfriend too jealous?

So I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year now and I've come to a point where I need to think about how jealous she is and if it's an natural amount of jealousy. So for example I have a friend and we meet up with some girls Evey so often because we're all good friends....

My boss just saw my current work avatar (Stevonnie from "Steven Universe") and then told me he might take a look at the cartoon \o/ (after I told him it's a wonderful cartoon)

10:26 AM

@Federico We have a Sandbox for question on meta too, if you want help with the writing :)

@Tinkeringbell I already had linked it to them ^^

Ugh. Sorry!

I'm a bit worn out today ;)

I missed it.

@Tinkeringbell Is everything fine?

@Ælis Yes, very! Just a few late nights in a row ;)

Grandparents dinner on Wednesday, Team dinner yesterday, and an early morning this morning because I undertook the three hour commute to my 'first' office/team to catch up with them...

I'm kinda overdosing on oxytocine today ;)

@Tinkeringbell Three hour commute seems awful but the rest sounds nice (I hope it actually was)

10:34 AM

@Ælis I'll take the three hour commute to be here, with these people, any day over another dinner like the one I had Wednesday, it was a small disaster.

But yeah, yesterday and today are very nice :)

My teammates loved the parrots I made for them, I've been getting pictures of them seated on laptops and near coffee machines the whole morning ;)

@Tinkeringbell Ouch, family dinner disaster can be a lot of drama ^^'

@Ælis Yep...

@Tinkeringbell And I bet they loved it, I would definitely have! Gifts made (and not bought) by someone are always the most touching

I was kinda nervous because some people never participated in talking about my crochet, but even they were very happy :D

That's nice, I'm glad for you (and a little bit jealous of your coworkers :p)

10:44 AM

I'm also jealous of your coworkers

a crocheted rubberduck parrot would be an awesome collectors item and perfect to put on your table to give it some personality

Hey @ankiiiiiii I have noticed that you were trying to help with the moderation on IPS and thought you might be interested in those meta link: How to be a good community moderator while leaving a comment? and When should one recommend deletion for a Low Quality Post in the queue?

@Magisch Except that we all have 'flexible work spots' so you don't really have your own table/desk ;)

But yeah, there's already talk of taking them all and using them to 'occupy' desks until latecomers arrive :P

@Tinkeringbell I have a desk, and I have a goofy looking pikachu painting from a friend of mine there

@Magisch Sounds nice!

when I still had my own desk at this office, it was filled with a very pink crocheted flamingo, a very pink 3d printed robot statue, and I had this cute little cardboard 'house' that held notepaper.

11:17 AM

@Ælis You might want to add 'doesn't meet the citation guidelines' to the low quality deleting post ;)

Because that's a bit different from 'is a try this'

11:42 AM

@Ælis Hey! Umm I might have commented one and then deleted it. Apart from that is that about the question I asked day before yesterday? I doubt if I (being a bit bad at interpersonal skills anyway) would be of any help here.

So it's essentially reading and flagging that's left. I would take a look at these questions not to annoy you by reporting and all

Also I just donated blood for the first time today! yay

@ankiiiiiii The only way to improve at interpersonal skills is with practice. So that's no excuse not to try. If you're too insecure you can always ask here with a link to your comments if you did it right so that you can either get the confirmation (and maybe later on more confidence) that you did it right, or receive tips on what to do better next time.

2

I can tell from experience that the people in this chat are always friendly, even if you make mistakes, so it's the perfect opertunity to get some practice in ^.^

2

Nice chair, isn't it? @Ash ;)

Evening everyone!

'llo

yello!

11:58 AM

purple

that's supposed to be purpl. you lost! :P

@Imus hey imus

@ExtrovertedMainMan Teach the kid to behave, instead of expecting others to put up with your unruly child? :/

how have you beenmus?

long time no seemus

Sounds a bit like Brat.

12:01 PM

@Magisch I've been enjoying the magical moments with my newborn son ^^,

@Magisch It's pronounced shay-mus.

@Imus Just make sure that when he's 2.5 years old, he knows not to scream? :P

@Mithrandir it's pronounced what now?

@Tinkeringbell I'll teach him to scream at his loudest when someone complains about his mediocre screams. At least then they'll have a reason to complain

@Tinkeringbell Mark her words, @Imus. ;) You wouldn't want it to happen. :P

Seamus. It's not see-mus, like Magisch said, it's shay-mus. ;)

12:02 PM

it was a permutation of "long time no see"

a chain of puns, if you will

@Imus Or gently remove both you and the kid from the store :P

@Tinkeringbell but I still have to do my grocery shopping right?

@Magisch And then a link of a joke on the pun.

@Imus Sure, you can come back when everyone is quiet.

@Mithrandir a chain link piece of comedy

12:04 PM

@Tinkeringbell You really believe you can quiet down a somewhat sick kid at age 2.5 when he doesn't get his way?

thats why you don't bring kids to the store unless they can behave

You'll just be walking in and out of the store the rest of the day without actually getting your shopping done

@Imus Sure.

stores here will throw you out for that and ban on repeat offenses

2.5 is old enough to understand 'no' and 'shut up or you'll get no dinner'.

12:04 PM

from what I understood in the question the kid was mostly behaving

idk if i'm channeling the boomer type "kids these days" but I find bringing a fussing child to a store entirely inappropriate

Meh. I'm not fond of kids anyways, and I wouldn't call misbehaving 'mostly behaving otherwise'

have one parent stay home with the kid then

That's not always an option.

^

12:06 PM

in OPs situation it would have been one

And the way I read the last paragraph, the kid does nothing but screaming.

@Tinkeringbell In a way, that's better than what I would do as a baby at the store...

hmm, I guess you're right that the child in that question screams more than it should

Irony is you teach your kids to walk and talk for 2 years and for the next few years, you tell them to sit at one place and shut up.

if I have a kid that I know is fussy and prone to screaming, and then is ill on top of that, bringing it to the store when 2 people are available is just selfish against other store patrons

12:08 PM

I wonder what would happen if you didn't teach a child to walk and talk ;)

Apparently, I could escape Houdini style from any harness put on me and I would constantly try to just jump out of the cart. I was a difficult baby. :P

Seems to solve a lot of problems ;)

@Tinkeringbell Developmental issues. Lots of them.

@Mithrandir Oh sure... but that's partially also because we've decided to measure development by ability to walk and talk ;)

@Tinkeringbell clearly you don't know how hard it is to find out why a kid is crying that can't talk yet ...

12:09 PM

...I mean, if a kid doesn't learn how to talk or walk early enough they'll never learn how to.

@Imus Check the feeding schedule, sleep schedule, and diaper. If not any of those, it's either sick or spoiled.

You have a very programmatic approach to child rearing :p

The sooner a kid learns to talk the smarter the kid is, on average.

@Magisch Well, there's only so much that can be wrong with an infant! :P

@Tinkeringbell let's assume I'm a good parent that doesn't spoil my kid. You still don't know what kind of sick. Tummy aches/fever/bitten by an bee/heard a loud noise/had a nightmare/...

12:11 PM

in some kind of cruel joke, one of the first words my dad taught me back then was "desoxyribonucleic acid"

@Imus Tummy aches are often combined with a certain body language, fever can be measured with a thermometer. Bitten by a bee will leave a mark. Lactose intolerance can be diagnosed by a doctor. As for loud noise/nightmare... if you pay attention to that every time you end up with a spoiled kid...

(Note: I should not raise kids, I know ;) )

I imagine you going down a flowchart

Sort of.

@Magisch please provide me with an accurate one :o At times it could really be useful for someone with a really bad memory like myself

@ankiiiiiii Haha, we are all "a bit bad at interpersonal skills" here, that's why we needed this site in the first place ^^ Also, congrats on your blood donation!

12:15 PM

@Imus I have 0 experience with child rearing and a mental disability that makes it impossible for me to read body language instinctively, and I get headaches and exhausted from hearing screaming. I'm the last person you ask for childcare advice :D

@Magisch That does sound like you're not equiped to take care of childs :o

@Imus if(needsFeeding = true) { Bottle B = new Bottle(50ml) } else if (needsSleeping = true) { baby.putToSleep(8) } else { Diaper D = new Diaper }

-1 for readability. :P

@Tinkeringbell Since I'm used to java, you just assigned true to needsFeeding and would constantly be making new bottles ... not even feeding the baby

@Imus Eh, it's been a while since I programmed anything Java. This is a really bad mix of Java and Magik, most likely :P

12:18 PM

@Tinkeringbell Yeah. I agree. :P

It's a special language called 'BABY'

if you're encapsulating baby as an object/class, then adding the attributes to it would be prudent, e.g if (baby.needsFeeding() == true)

@Magisch please never write anything of the form "if (someBoolean == true)". Just write "if (baby.needsFeeding())"

@Imus mhm. I write some PhP. I can't rely on omitting the ===

especially when you have function that can return bool or int or string

why would baby.needsFeeding() ever return anything other than a boolean? :o

12:21 PM

bad example, but I've gotten into the habit of doing only explicit checks in php

could probably be a good habit for php

been burned a couple times by less then intuitive interfaces

but we're talking "baby" here apparently :p

makes notes for future references about babies :P

@AJ I got a cute baby T-shirt that came with instructions: "cry eat sleep repeat"

12:23 PM

Cool!

@Imus Hey who you calling friendly. Flags as rude

The problem last night was that my kid went: "cry eat sleep 5 minutes, cry again, forget how to sleep and don't eat for the next 2 hours"

Kids these days are so inconsistent. I used to cry non-stop from 21:00 to 23:00. Source: Mom and dad

my wife was frustrated at me because I must've put the kid in it's bed wrong so it woke up again and thought she would have to stay up since I had to go to work today.

I blame social media.

12:25 PM

in The Litter Box, Apr 18 at 14:02, by Henders

@Magisch g.r.o.a.n

I wasn't sleepy yet so told her to just go to bed and I'll take caree of our son till 11~12 at night till he'd get hungry again

crisis avoided!

@Imus I did some babysitting for my cousin the other day. I put the child in bed and then go do other stuff after about five minutes, the child (1-year-old) start crying and crying again (usually, they go to sleep pretty well). So I go calm them down, put them back in the bed and realize I completely forgot to put the blanket on them (which is probably why they were first crying). I felt really not up to the task back then ^^'

Blankets. Magical forceshields that keep all the evil away.

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ In this case, it was also very importantly keeping the cold away ^^

Definitivement

12:38 PM

@Ælis fork more @Ælis to keep watch over the baby :p

@Magisch I wish I could, I really love this child but taking care of kids is really exhausting for me (which is why I probably never have one)

Morning all

heya!

Speaking as a parent taking care of children is just exhausting

a coworker of mine is taking care of twins. His wife also works full time and the twins are now 1 1/2 years old

you can see the exhaustion

12:42 PM

That sounds painful

@bruglesco Only the first 30 years.

@M.A.R.ಠ_ಠ My parents would not agree with you.

More than 30, or less?

I'm 36 ;]

@bruglesco sorry kinda fell asleep, what were we talking about?

@bruglesco Sure they would. After those 30 years it's the grandchildren that become exhausting ;)

12:55 PM

@Imus Sure, but that's less self-deprecating. I only do self-deprecating. I don't know any other way to be funny.

@bruglesco You can be snarky and sarcastic, and borderline rude to others. Like me

Mith is an easy target. I say that by experience

I'm only good at being snarky and sarcastic to myself

I used to have largely self deprecating humor. Now I just do puns

so many puns

in fact in response to a discussion about carpe diem :

in The Litter Box, Apr 18 at 13:54, by Magisch

seize the carp for it is a fish and slippery

@Magisch I always meant to ask. Is your avatar in any way inspired by Cactaur from the FF series?

no

I was brainstorming a new avatar some day and came across a cute antrophomorphic cactus plush

after that I saw an artist whose style I really liked and comissioned him to draw an avatar for me

1:02 PM

(Sorry non-sequiturs are just how my brain works)

100% worth the investment imo

Nice

tis' a nice cactus, and it's all mine :D

user15026

@AJ comfy looking and all my books would be right there!

Yep. :D

1:10 PM

@Magisch Not going to lie, I'm still not used to you not being a smiley face

Woah, that goes a loooong way back.

Even I got used to cactus Magisch by now! ;)

I still think of the smiley face also

y'all reckon the smiley was better?

Or that I just had it longer

Mostly it's just that I spent about 7 years lurking on SO (3 unregisterd I think) seeing that smiley face every day on meta, so it's burned into my brain

I'm not sure I would classify it as better or worse than the cactus, just different

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch Mine was too. And snarky as sheds

I got better ;)

1:18 PM

Probably just the timing... my 2nd year of being active on IPS is coming up, and I think smiley and cactus have been around close to 50/50 percent of that time... so that's why I'm now used to cactus ;)

@JourneymanGeek I so self deprecating humor a lot and my fiancee hates it

I'm too new to know smiley

I don't suppose you can share the image

@Magisch just more used to it. We interacted for years through Charcoal etc, and so I got to know the smiley

user image

@Mithrandir @Magisch were you a motivational speaker in a former life?

Hmm, still no nominations from non-chat regulars.

1:32 PM

I'm not sure... perhaps there aren't any people outside of chat that want to moderate IPS, or (and I think this is true) we have three very strong candidates for 1 position already, and I'm not sure if there's people outside of chat that I would think have a chance at competing.

If people think that way too...

comment-pls | need back-up and faq link | interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/22059/21067

Journeyman Geek

A lot of folks may disagree

but I think chat activity is really useful for effective moderation

I'd almost say essential

It certainly helps with a lot of stuff, but of course moderating can be done without chatting. There are people that succeed in doing this.

Journeyman Geek

Well there's to aspects of running things

mechanics, sure

but you can't effectively engage a community who can't talk to you

1:47 PM

Isn't it also simply more likely that someone who is interested in moderating is also likely to participate in chat?

Journeyman Geek

Maybe

but there's a lot of mods and sites that don't do chat

@JourneymanGeek Comment threads... There's some very chatty sites out there! :P

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell chat belongs on chat though

;p

Oh, I fully agree... doesn't mean others live by my rules all the times though ;)

Journeyman Geek

On the other hand

1:51 PM

If they did, this site would never get any answers that ignore the citation guidelines either.

Meta discussion...

Journeyman Geek

I often get stuff that dosen't work that well through normal channels on chat

There's occationally complicated, sensitive things going on

sometimes not on my site ._.

Yeah, I realize that...

I guess the point I wanted to make is that it's not utterly impossible to not chat and moderate.

Journeyman Geek

Hence me saying its useful.

but not quite essential

I think only 2 of the SU mods are super active on chat (though most of them have been historically)

Yep... there's a lot of moderators that don't use chat...

(and I don't believe they're all inactive)

2:14 PM

@bruglesco I'm actually quite shy

there is like one video of me talking on the entire web

@Mithrandir Actually smiley is the only avatar from when i.stack.imgur wasn't blocked. So to the cactus I was like "oh, cool new avatar and all"

2:32 PM

@Magisch The fact that there IS a video of you talking kinda counters your point of being shy :p

Nah, he sounds shy :P

2:58 PM

@Tinkeringbell That's a fair assessment. I was thinking about it yesterday, and I came to the conclusion that I'm fairly certain one of the 3 current nominees will win, regardless of who else runs

@Ælis Thanks for all the review tasks 😉 I just ran across 3 of the 4 answers to your newest question in the review queues

@Rainbacon You're welcome, I like giving work to other people :p

@Rainbacon *runs and wins just to prove you wrong*

3:15 PM

I would run but I don't want to embarrass ~~all of you~~ myself.

1 hour later…

Mister Positive

4:26 PM

Good luck to all of you running for Moderator!

2

@MisterPositive Hey you! Thanks for your support :) {entering TGIF mode]

Mister Positive

@avazula AwEsOmE

@avazula And your welcome.

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How should I address a person who offers a choice of personal pronouns

I've recently seen a number of people who, when listing their personal pronouns, appear to be offering a choice. In particular, I have seen folks say "she" or "they" In situations where asking them directly is not necessarily practical, which one should I choose? Can anyone explain, from e...

5:31 PM

oh @Ælis we got downvotes on our questionnaires :(

El'endia Starman

> { ... ]

you monster

@Rainbacon I guess we can't please every one... Or someone liked @ava very much and wanted to make sure to express that by downvoting us and upvoting her ^^

Maybe

5:48 PM

@Rainbacon and @avazula you should take a look at the election chat, there is a question for us

6:12 PM

Thanks for the heads up!

You're welcome :)

6:28 PM

Speaking of commenting, eye-balls needed here: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/q/21725/21067

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