The Awkward Silence

5:00 AM

Gamen everyone :)

@Anilla you could past these night shifts you made? :P

6:18 AM

Huh, how cool is that. You can add an Pluralsight assesment to you your SO developer story :D

https://stackoverflow.com/users/story/2003898

7:26 AM

@dhein that's a 404

Yello!

@dhein page not found pal

also, all I try redirects me to a pricing page eventually

not convinced that's what I want

7:47 AM

Hmmm lemme check if the link to your own developer story is diferent from the ones of others. Or do you maybe have to activate/signup something your self before able to access others storys?

@dhein Well I tried to access your story from your SO profile and I can't. Maybe we can't see each other's DS? That'd be weird

No, I can also access other profiles develoepr storys and the links look the same.

Try it again '^.^

my fauxpas xD

I had it on "private, not publicly accessible" xD

For what ever reason I had done that.

@dhein oh now it's your fault! xD

now I can access it!

darn you're good at npm pal!

To be fair, when I made that assessment, I had no clue what NPM even is. But all the questions they asked about were like how versioning works, what version number needs to change if you just made a bug fix and that alike. and then I had 2 questions just guessed correctly and 3 follow up questions where indirectly already answered by the question texts before.

So I ended with 15/17 correct answers x'D

without knowing what NPM is

xD

hahaha

7:53 AM

but since I have to use NPM in the meantime already for my work and now know what it is.... that number looks quite nice xP

If you're interested in mine here it is

I am in the top 5% percitle of NPM without even knowing what NPM was about. Speaks either for my common sense, or against the average NPM expert ^^

But therefor my C++ score was the other way round.... There were actually 2 questions that were ambiguous, where they used not exact enough wording.... and one question they had, was plain out wrong. I even researched it afterwards, and they had a set of 4 wrong answers to choose from, while the true correct answer was not presented >.>

@dhein I know, right? I was confused too

And its still a decent score, but having had 3 wrong answers just because their assesment wasn't precise enough bugs me...

I remember seeing SO questions afterwards... people were p*ssed PluralSight got it wrong :p

7:59 AM

What you mean? questions refering to pluralsight? or pluralsight used questions from SO and missunderstood the answers?

@dhein well, people who were confused about the PS questions and thought they were wrong then posted on SO to see who was right

Sorry that was unclear

No worries, other than PS you clarified xP

@dhein PS=PluralSight :)

I'm lazy

I got that.

lemme rephrase it:

No worries, other than Plural Sight you clarified xP

(<-- was lazy too xP)

Hahaha

Otherwise how are you? :)

8:18 AM

Oh, as usual :)
I am on vacation next week and preparing my relocation in my old flat. Ironically I met on a dating platform a few weeks ago a girl comming from my old area and get very well along with her. Visiting her this evening and lookign really forward to see her again after 3 weeks :)

What about you my dear? :)

8:31 AM

hmm, just had a power outage at work

Coincidentally, we have a gamenight this evening, so we just played some cardgames to pass time

8:55 AM

@dhein that's so cool! :D

I'm fine too. I'm exhausted by both stress and work, I hope I could get some sleep this weekend but I'm not sure I will because we're celebrating my partner's 26th birthday

but it'll be cool :)

Yeh, sounds like a pleasant weekend lays ahead :)

@dhein you'll tell us how it goes with that lady? :)

Since we already met a few times before I can just add, whats gonna go is nothing for this chat room haha xP

But yeh, I enjoy the time with her. And the only 2 things against it are 1st the distance, as I not plan to give up my job at SAP for anyone at all. And 2nd.... that I as mentioned yesterday for now plan to first figure what I actually want. So no plans to rush anything at all.

@dhein Okay, I won't ask then haha

If you're having a good time that's all that matters :)

9:10 AM

Exactly :)

9:21 AM

At work, I tend to give a low priority to the task I don't like/find boring. Seems like my manager noticed that some tasks were still in my TODO and never finished even after a long time and now I have to do all those boring stuff today and next week >< I guess I shouldn't have procrastinated on that...

@avazula On a site note: She's 12 years older than me '^.^ And I recently just figured, I like that women far out of the 20ies are generally way more reflected and hence you can have better open minded conversations than with someone in my usual age range. (No offense against anyone in here intended, given that most of us here are quite reflected anyways :) )

@dhein Oh no worries I totally get that, I went straight from childhood to 35-something in my head, so ...

@Ælis Lots of courage, dear! I understand your reluctance to do boring stuff, I have the same issues.

@Ælis I know how you feel. :x I do the same. and at the end of each project it gets extra slow, cause jsut the stuff I try to avoid is left to do '^.^

It seems quite common among autistic people: very little will to do stuff you don't understand why they're worth it

I think that might be an autistic thing anyways I can tell from ym observations.

9:26 AM

@dhein BTW how old are you if you don't mind me asking?

@dhein Haha yeah, it's like when you are packing stuff because you are moving house. At the end, you are left with the "worst" things to pack ^^'

@avazula Yep, or in my case, I still understand why it has to be done, but it just doesn't fit my mindset the way it has to be done :x

@avazula I don't mind :) I am 27 :)

@Ælis Yeah, what in my case usually is all the tiny stuff that takes lots of time to grab or the stuff with really weird shapes, not really fitting into any box '^.^ On point comparison :D

@dhein yeah, I have that too. That's hard :p

@dhein 90s FTW! haha

@avazula Personally, I fell like I'm still stuck in childhood. The "adult" word doesn't really please me

@Ælis I'm mostly dreading the big pieces of furniture that have to be carried down narrow stairs

9:29 AM

@JAD Thats a valid point too, but the way they dread me is a diferent concept ^^

@dhein To me, it's the same as you: the "useless decorative thingy" (but don't get me wrong, I love those things, they just don't pack very well ^^)

@avazula hehe :D yeah.... Only thing here causing trouble some times already.... we get along so well, that we totally forget the age gap sometimes. And it just comes back into our minds, when she is making childhood refferences and is totally confused that I have no clue what she talks about x'D

@Ælis Well I get very childish when I'm tired and can't be myself to unwind...

But I guess that's not how what you meant :p

And when I am doing childhood references, its topics where she was already not in childhood anymore and experienced it totally different.... a little awkward every now and then '^.^

@dhein hahaha

9:32 AM

@avazula Interesting x'D is that only when you are tired?^^

Some people are likely to be attracted to people either way older or much younger. I know I tend to be attracted by women in their 30s

@dhein well, when I'm acting like a child (i.e. nonverbal language, jumping everywhere and playing with stupid stuff) it's because I'd like to lay on the floor or stim in non-socially acceptable ways and I have to behave like a allist adult instead.

I think I should get back to the gym, it used to help me a lot with handling this

But thats actually the most weird part.... behavioral I actually am attracted by younger women. And she actually by older men (in her profile she even mentioned she preferably is looking for men 45+ .... now she got 27 yo... )x'D Its just the intellectual aspect we like each other for. ^^

@dhein that's why fixed criteria aren't good in looking for a romantic partner :p

@avazula Indeed :)

@dhein don't ask me my type of partner, I have no idea. My only criterion is: someone with whom I can be myself haha

9:38 AM

@avazula I hadn't planed to ask that. But hey, still that's quite a reasonable criterion :)

@dhein That was a canned sentence, I bet you wouldn't ask for that :p

@avazula What ever helps, I'd say. But would your SO find it weird if you did that? Or can you just roll around the floor at home if you feel like? That for example would be a criterion for me.... If I feel like rolling on the floor, I don't want to share a flat at some point with someone finding that weird '^.^

@Ælis Oh sorry, missed your message. yeah, exactly that sort of thing... like blush plastic trees and such stuff.... you can't put anything on top of em, nor do they really fit in any box. xD Graargh.... Can't wait to have to pack next week '^.^

@dhein Why don't you start packing now? (after work, I mean)

@dhein Well, I think he kinda expect me to be emotionally available all the time... which I can't. But fortunately he's away 2 evenings a week, that helps me find the time to unwind.

He's an incredible person, but he hasn't been dealing well with that autistic stuff since I got diagnosed... and I'm a bit sad about that. Should he get to know a bit about it I'm sure he would understand better why it's so important for me. But whenever I try to talk about it he kinda dismisses it.

@Ælis Cause I need to be in my old flat where I have a 700km drive to after work. And cause I am visiting someone this evening before getting to my flat tomorrow :) and then since I am there for a week of vacation, I planed to relax a little and not start before monday :)

@avazula OH :( That's too sad, for such an otherwise awesome personality :(

9:47 AM

@dhein Wow, that's a lot of drive to do!

Yeah, had that drive the last 6 months every few weeks.

hence finally planing the relocation :)

@dhein Well, lots of people told me that it's great he didn't make a difference because we know now about my autism, but I don't really agree with that. But hey, from my family and friends only two people reacted "well": @Ælis and one of my oldest friends.

@dhein I wouldn't have been able to do that. I would have taken the train or anything else instead of driving

@avazula :'( <3

@avazula What background these people have to make that judgement? I hate it, if allists think they know whats better for an autist, than an autist them selfs...

@Ælis I think we talked about it already before. I really enjoy driving :) And the only thing annoying me on that is the time it takes. But driving tiself is somethign I enjoy.

While taking the train that often would be for me impossible.

@dhein None. A friend even told me I must be autistic because my mom didn't take care of me enough as a child ... u_u

9:52 AM

@avazula My mom had that same view on autism. She felt offended whenever I mentioned my autism.... cause she thought, this was just a new way of me trying to blame her for what she all did wrong with me as child... >.>

So many missunderstandings about autism out there... v.v

D':

@dhein I believe we did talk about this already. The fact that you like driving had to skip my mind. In any case, it's nice that you like that, I know I love being in my dad car while not driving (but I think I already told you that?)

@dhein I'm sorry for you and for your mom to feel like that :(

She also dismisses any try of me trying to explain her things about autism.... as she gets defensive when ever I just mention having autism v.v

@Ælis hehe :) And no, you didn't I think. :o

@dhein Well my partner kinda does the same

@Ælis Did you know that I'm now comfortable with driving? :D I'm just still terrible at parking ahah

@dhein, @avazula Does talking about some characteristic of you without mentioning that it's linked to your autism help?

@avazula Oh, that's nice! I'm glad for you! :)

9:57 AM

@Ælis not always because some of them are very difficult to understand without the autism label, I think some people would start to believe I'm a compulsive liar if I'd mention my oversensitive sight, hearing and touch and my eating rules without that background :p

@Ælis yay, now I can pick you up at the train station when you come visit me :D

@avazula We can even make road trips if you want and are comfortable with that :D

@avazula People are so lame sometimes :/

@Ælis Not really, as then I just get the "everyone has it, you just have to have the endurance to bear it as everyone else does"-response.

@dhein Wow.... I'm glad my family reacted better than yours :/

@Ælis Or I just make the taxi driver for you 2 ;D xP

@dhein Hehe, a European road trip!

10:05 AM

@Ælis Yeah, I am sometimes a bit jealous when I hear other autists talking about their familys relation and the support they get from their family. But on the other hand it feels good to know I was able to get where I am just by myself :)

@Ælis We plan to do an TAS community meeting! Where? Everywhere we want in Europe! :D

Sounds like a plan, doesn't it?:P

@dhein Haha, yeah, I'll just have to keep my anxiety quiet :p

Why? :D

Just freak out x'D Its a car full of autists anyways xD

@dhein Yep, but I won't be able to get on the car if my anxiety tells me to run away and hide under my bed :p

@dhein you know the term "chain reaction"

bring your bed with you :P

@JAD I do, but I think that's not what would happen '^.^

At least not if one is being prepared. And I talking for my self would be prepared for weird things going on in a car full of autists x'D

10:15 AM

@dhein DEAAAAAR I'M ON IT!!

@Ælis You'll see, I'm a good driver, you'll be confident with me :D

@avazula NICE! :D

@avazula I could imagine, thats more a thing about me than it would be about you x)

@dhein I don't understand?

@avazula Her anxiety. This conversation started from the point of me being your 2's taxidriver. So its less about your driving skill I think. ^^

@dhein oh sorry, I missed some things during my break haha

No worrys. :P

Thought so, thats why I calrified.

10:18 AM

@Ælis Oh gosh yaaaas

Once we have holidays available I'll take you (and everyone who's on board for it) on a road trip haha

Ok, than I make the second driver. So we have a fair mix of autists in every car? :D

@dhein I can't drive for very long without breaks, we could switch :D

Hahaha sure. I was just gonna ask @Tinkeringbell: if Momma is gonna join my car then x'D

But yeh then lets switch around ^^

@dhein I can very much imagine one person breaking down in anxiety to distract or trigger someone else in the car, and so forth

@dhein Hey, it was about me minting someone in the "physical word" for the first time. Too many variables in here ^^

10:23 AM

@JAD As said, I can just speak for my self, but the usual behavior I experienced so far when either having anxiety attacks my self when there was another autist around or vice versa, was that actually the understanding and empathie had a very calming effect for the affected person.

@Ælis Thought so, tahts why I told ava I doubt thats about her driving skills :)

As much I'd enjoy continuing this, I am already somewhat over due to call it a day. So I am out here now and starting my drive. :) Keep me up to date about further plannings over the next week ;D

@dhein en-joy-your-week-end ♥

Oh I will :) Thanks :)

I have no doubt about that ;D

And have a nice weekend, everyone else, too :)

@dhein And a nice week end to you :)

10:27 AM

Hey @Ælis, this morning I was reading "La Tyrannie du genre" (i.e. "gender's tyranny") in the bus. You should have seen the looks on the people's faces ... haha

@dhein I guess I'm honered with getting the honorific 'momma', but it's also making me feel a bit weird. Could you stop it? :)

10:50 AM

@Tinkeringbell Sure. :)

Thanks :)

Now feel free to continue planning that trip :P

Q: How to keep update with the industry change with your job? If you are not Geek

But yeh, was allways just meant honorific, due to your skill to keep everyone in line in this sometimes kindergardenish place :P

Extroverted Main Man

11:21 AM

0

hope you are doing well. I'm JavaScript developer and its been 2.5 year that i'm in the industry. Now a days things are changing much faster in our industry. After a month or two we listen about new technology or language. My question is as you are working with a company in old technology how c...

job work-life-balance

11:55 AM

@avazula Haha, that must have been nice! :p

1:09 PM

@Ælis sure it was!

1:55 PM

I don't like doing Excel stuff :(

@Ælis But you're so Excellent!

Damn. Beat me to it by seconds @TheTinyMan :(

@scohe001 applies ninja mask

Guys!!

@TheTinyMan I can't even find your joke funny right now ><

1:59 PM

My article is live!!!

You wanna learn about beekeeping?

4

@avazula Article? :o

ooohhh

@Ælis Aww. :-( Poor you, and poor Excel!

@TheTinyMan Not poor Excel, They are the one making me miserable! ><

Shoot you'll learn my real name haha

@avazula Yep, just did! xD

@avazula my college advisor was a beekeeper

2:01 PM

Haha

Now, it's time to stalk you! ;-) Or at least add you on Facebook. :-P

@Ælis But Excel is so sweet! xD

Go ahead if you want to :)

@avazula I would but I do not see an "add friend" button! :o

@TheTinyMan yeah, that's a privacy protection i have, I need to receive a message from the person first ;p

Ahh, neat :-)

2:05 PM

That's nice that you get plenty of privacy protection from facebook, too bad your passwords don't

Yay, I have a friend! ;-)

@avazula Congrats for the article! Is that really you on the picture? The you that I have in my mind doesn't quite look like that ^^'

Haha :)

@Ælis I don't have any recent pictures of myself ;p this one is from 2016 I think?

@Ælis I thought you and Ava met up at one point?

@Rainbacon we did :) and we do as often as we can :p

2:07 PM

@avazula Oh, that would explain it. She looked like a younger sister of yours :p

Oh, so I guess you've changed a bit since the picture

I've had that sensation though, where sometimes the way a person I've met looks in real life isn't actually captured by a picture

@Rainbacon I know, that's a shame... I keep my account for moderating groups and talking to people

@TheTinyMan I feel that way about New York City

@Rainbacon Oh yeah? :-P

@avazula The picture of the small swarm on the wood is kind of terrifying xD

2:13 PM

@avazula YOU'RE A CAR TOE

ahem I mean, it's a wonderful article! So nice to finally see your face!

That was definitely my first thought, not the other thing^

@scohe001 WHAT'S A CAR TOE? DO CARS HAVE TOE NAILS?

@avazula O . O

IDK YOU TELL ME, YOU'RE THE PROFESSIONAL

(unless I'm mispronouncing your last name, which is completely possible since I'm an ignorant American)

@scohe001 HAAAAAAAA

THAT MAKES SENSE NOW

@scohe001 ohhhhhhhh

2:15 PM

@TheTinyMan STOP SHOUTING!

for some reason that replied to an older message

ignore that

@JAD OH NO AM I BEING BAD AT VOLUME REGULATION AGAIN?

haha okay :-p

@avazula LOL :P

@TheTinyMan Yeah, no matter how many photos of the city I try to take to send people, none of them is ever able to truly capture the way the city looks through my eyes

@Rainbacon That's a shame!

Indeed

@avazula It wouldn't surprise me if car toe is how the British refer to tires

2:19 PM

@Rainbacon I wouldn't either

@avazula My NP really wants to keep bees, haha. It sounds so cool!

2:49 PM

@TheTinyMan NP? I'm assuming the P is partner since I know you are polyamorous

@Rainbacon Yeah, nesting partner - a partner I live with.

3:00 PM

I'm kind of curious, having multiple partners, do they fill different needs in your life? For example, do you have partners that primarily fill physical needs and others that primarily fill emotional needs?

That's how it works for some people I understand, but not particularly for me. For me it's really more about recognizing the legitimacy of, and encouraging, love in all its forms, however it happens to occur.

Which is a gross oversimplification of how it actually plays out of course. :-P

Interesting. I'm monogamous myself, but I find polyamory quite fascinating

It's pretty cool stuff if you ask me! ;-)

I had some friends in college who were polyamorous. That was the first I'd ever heard of it, and then I met several polyamorous people when I moved to New York

Cool! :-) It seems to be more prevalent in bigger cities. ... I should really move out of this state I'm in. :-p

3:23 PM

Morning all. How's it going?

You know that Excel task I was complaining about? Well, I manage to give the task to my manager! Devs can't resist when you tell them "This Excel function is too complicated to make" :p

@ElizB Heya! I'm doing well, how about you? :-)

@ElizB Hello you! :)

@Ælis Haha, I wouldn't be able to resist that! ;-) So what does it need to do?

@Ælis oh no, did you just Nerd Snipe your manager?

I first saw this problem on the Google Labs Aptitude Test. A professor and I filled a blackboard without getting anywhere. Have fun.

3:27 PM

@TheTinyMan Calculate a Median function with multiple conditions like "if A1 not empty empty and B1="Bug", then median calculation include A1" (with the median calculation being done from A1 to A100)

@TheTinyMan Oh great thanks for explaining I was wondering about that too :)

Sounds like that'd be easier to write in VBA.

Excel functions need a better IDE without having to resort to that! xD

@scohe001 Ahah, something like that, yeah XD

@TheTinyMan One of my coworkers actually told me it would be easier on VBA. I'm starting to believe that ^^

@Ælis VBA's easier for most things that are more than like two commands because you get a "real" IDE to write it with and don't have to put everything in one "line" of code.

@TheTinyMan well, arguably you could use another worksheet to put more lines of code in

3:31 PM

@JAD Yes, but I don't think I'd call that 'easier.' ;-)

hmm

for median

@avazula Congrats!!! I just read it and it's lovely!

this room is so entertaining haha so much shouting and joking and puns. Made my morning :D

I guess you need to 1) zero out the values that don't match the condition, 2) store the amount of zeros, 3) sort the list, and 4) using 2) figure out what index you need to grab

@TheTinyMan I never use VBA before, I guess I might do that soon (probably around the time my manager will tell me "I wasn't able to solve that and I have don't have time for this anymore. Can you do it?") :p

@Ælis I've spent way more time than I care to recall doing that. xD

3:37 PM

@TheTinyMan That's not really reassuring. I saw the IDE this morning and I kind of wanted to run away screaming :p (the interface looked sooooooo old!)

Yeah...it's pretty ancient. But better than the little text box thing in Excel proper! ;-)

It hasn't changed at all since I used it in like 2006 and it was starting to show signs of age then...

@TheTinyMan Oh dear... I hope the IDE is better than it looks like ^^

@TheTinyMan It hasn't changed at all since I used it in like 2006 sounds like suicide in software industry

@Ælis Ehhh :-P

@avazula You're not wrong, haha. There are actually C# libraries to manipulate Excel worksheets that are what I'd rather use some of the time, but that's an "Excel worksheet output" thing, not (AFAIK) a "I'm working in Excel and want it to update as I go" thing

@TheTinyMan yeah, that's not really what you want

btw, I managed to do it in a few cells

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/…

3:50 PM

@JAD I just took a look at your median formula, it's impressive! I'm definitively an Excel newbie ^^

the most tricky part is to dynamically get the value of a specific cell

which is what the vlookup is for

Q: How to stop someone from helping you?

4:23 PM

@TheTinyMan Yeah, there's a decent community of polyamory here. There's even a building in Brooklyn specifically for people who are polyamorous. The realtor who originally came up with the idea is an acquaintance of mine. He's a pretty good guy, and his TED talk on polyamory was a pretty good one

Extroverted Main Man

0

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve that (I thought it was an easy problem and they have more experience with Excel than I do). Both started to try to solve the issue but, after a while, it became clear ...

work-environment saying-no coworkers helping

@Rainbacon That's awesome, a building dedicated to it? :o

@ExtrovertedMainMan Wow, so @Ælis dealt more of a nerd bomb than a nerd snipe! :-\ That sucks.

It's an apartment building, where all of the tenants are polyamorous

What would be the appropriate term for the collective grouping of people in a polyamorous relationship? For a monogamous group I was call them a couple, but that doesn't really work if there are more than two people

@Rainbacon a bunch ;)

hey, so a friend of mine found this version of Revelation Song sung in a bunch of different languages, it's a christian worship song but what I find cool is how each language has its own beautiful sound :)

user15026

4:54 PM

@Rainbacon I know friends refer to theirs as their polycule (like molecule, but poly)

5:12 PM

@Ash that's a nice one :)

user15026

I like it :)

Fits a bit with the whole nuclear family idea/description too!

5:41 PM

Wow, I just had one of the most uncomfortable conversations of my life. Which is saying something, because I'm an autist

user15026

Oh dear :(

It's ok, just uncomfortable

Can we make it worse? ;)

user15026

@avazula Oh, this was such a lovely article!

I was having a one on one with my mentor at work. Basically, my next step in my career path is to become a project manager, and I'd rather that not happen. He told me that the sense he'd gotten from the management team in the office was "Rainbacon doesn't want to lead"

user15026

5:45 PM

@Rainbacon Do you want to lead? I mean...not everyone is really meant to lead. I know that I'd make a terrible leader for a lot of things.

I do, but not the way they want me to lead

My company is very focused on professional growth, but there's only one path for professional growth here

My fear is that if I don't want to grow the way they want me to grow that I'll come off as being unmotivated/malcontented/what have you

I want to be the best possible software engineer that I can be

@Rainbacon That's good. I hope your company and manager will eventually understand that :)

user15026

yeah, I hope you can find ways to understand each other. :)

I had a hard time reading him. Fortunately, I do have some pretty strong connections with a few people who have some amount of power to help me. One of who once told me "I've built a lot of social capital over the years. I'm more than willing to expend some of it to make sure you are in the right situation"

user15026

Oh, that's great :)

6:26 PM

It's pretty sensible to want to avoid Peter Principle-ing out

I always wonder why the flow of most workplaces seems to demand that people do

@Ash Yep, "polycule" is the word I'd use.

@Rainbacon Man, that sounds like you're in a difficult work place though, these things keep coming up it seems like! :-\

I'm probably making it out to be worse than it is

But I am at a point where I'm looking for a new job

@Rainbacon I'm glad to hear that!

user15026

@Rainbacon I hope you find something that suits your skills and needs :)

Aww, thanks. Y'all are amazing

6:39 PM

Any chance anyone here is familiar with R?

@Upper_Case JAD?

They linked an SO answer' in R the other day, IIRC

I'm just having an odd issue, and would rather chat about it than post a question and wait

which may not be possible

I'm sorry, I can't help :(

@Tinkeringbell Don't feel bad. I don't know the answer either L(

*:(

@Upper_Case My name starts with R, but that's the extent of my knowledge

6:52 PM

@Rainbacon Let me try that out...

...

_

...

_

...

Nope, still getting the bizarre behavior

(sigh) I really hate troubleshooting R

And now it's up to SO

7:07 PM

Did you get the new question wizard?

@Tinkeringbell Not that I noticed, unless the new question wizard is the suggested, potentially similar questions

@Upper_Case Nope, it's one that helps you write your question.

Mostly for new users though ;)
Sounds like you've been on SO one time too many :P

@Tinkeringbell Yeah, unless and until they implement a 'pesky question' wizard I doubt I'll see anything like that again

they should definitely be coupled with a goofy mascot like Clippy

@Crosscounter I kinda liked Clippy :P

7:10 PM

@Tinkeringbell everybody likes Clippy somewhere deep in their hearts

@Crosscounter I don't remember Clippy being especially helpful, but I knew that he (she? they? it?) had my back

well in french, paper clips are called "trombones" and they're female. but I'd like to think Clippy is a lad

I always felt that his bossiness and assumption that he could immediately understand what I was trying to do, and then improve it, were somewhat masculine

uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Microsoft_Word_Paperclip says 'also known as Brendan'... so....

Plus, I always changed my assistant to Gaia, which had better animations

7:22 PM

I...*aesthetically*...liked Clippy.

I also really liked it when Clippy would sit down and talk to me about grammar, my understanding of the passive voice today is largely thanks to Clippy

even if I dislike Clippy's disapproval of it :-p

@TheTinyMan In my head I immediately translated that to "there was disapproval of passive voice, from Clippy, which produced a sentiment of dislike in me"

@Upper_Case I think that sounds about right? :-p

i wish there was a better way to represent Clippy in ascii other than :@

I just realized that i have "Very low quality" as a flag option on questions even though I can close vote. Is there any reason to flag as VLQ when I could just CV?

@Rainbacon That question was spam anyways

Maybe a question is salvageable, though bad, but not bad in a way that demands immediate closure?

7:29 PM

My first thought was that it might be useful if you run out of close votes

For the future, if a question (which itself isn't a spam post) is posted just so the author can post a spam answer, should we flag the question as spam?

@Rainbacon I think so. The question and answer are a set, and it's hard to argue that the asker is actually interested in responses, let alone will review them and accept one

I'm kind of confused as to why they self-deleted the answer immediately after posting it

Q: How to stop reoccuring confict in family home

@Rainbacon People are weird. Maybe they were discouraged by the comment(s), or impending closure? Or maybe it was a strategy to keep the answer visible to some in the community, while making it seem less like spam to others?

Extroverted Main Man

8:58 PM

1

Context: I am a early 20's, British Male, moved home after University, suffering from somewhat severe depression. As I got towards graduating, my mother suggested I moved home instead of finding a place to live, so I could save money while I built a larger nest egg. My partner, who I met at Univ...

conversations conflict-aversion family parents depression

@ExtrovertedMainMan oof, that's a tough situation... :/

Anilla

9:31 PM

@dhein haha, I've been a bit better about my sleep schedule lately :P slight shame since I can't chat with ya as much! silly time zone differences

11:03 PM

Weird, I get stressed out when people fail to understand some subject, institution. I like the idea of explaining the topic, so that they can see it is really simple, or that they are probably overcomplicating it in their heads. But I get stressed out when they don't listen. I feel like they simply.. make no effort to understand, and are simply apathetic towards the subject, even though they need to understand in order to achieve their goals.

it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't know if it is something wrong with me for being worried about it.

@Rainb Can you explain a little more about how people fail to understand institution? How do they indicate they're not listening?

@Rainb it's good to see you here again :)

11:29 PM

@ElizB I didn't formulate that statement correctly.. hehe

What I meant to say, was, when you are in some Instutution, for example in a School or a University, or maybe in a class/training or in an environment where it is expected of people to understand something.

>How do they indicate they're not listening?
Well, that one is hard to answer. Most won't admit that they don't care about the topic, but the most authentic will, they just straight say that they don't want to put effort into the topic because they are not interested in it. (Which ironically makes things harder for them in the l…

@Rainb Ah, okay. Hmm. I want to clarify- are you teaching something and people are not putting effort into understanding your teaching, or is it that you are interacting with people within a school or university and they are not putting effort into understanding what you want to explain?

I feel very happy to help people willing to understand, but if I don't feel like they are making an effort, I feel like I am wasting my time. But most people tell me they do want to learn. However they don't feel very engaged to learn when I try to explain whatever they don't get. Maybe I should quit helping people understand. I feel it is healthier for me.

@ElizB No, I am talking about interacting with people

@Rainb Ah, so are people asking you to explain something but when you start explaining/teaching, they don't engage anymore?

After some while yes.

I feel like I am building the blocks for the idea. So that when I throw the punchline, everything makes sense, but before that happens, they disengage.

Coincidentially, I am volunteering as an instructor in a Java, there are many Instructors in this class, and afaik I don't suffer from this problem there, yet, I am a new Instructor this semester. So I do lack a lot of experience.

@Rainb Yeah, I can relate to that. Usually I start with more basic knowledge about what they want to learn, and ask if they want to continue. I know it's hard to deduce where people want to stop

@Rainb ahh gotcha. My husband does that as well, I get impatient

11:43 PM

what do you mean, you get impatient, impatient doing what, teaching?

@Rainb I get impatient when I am learning from him. waiting for him to deliver the punchline

he keeps telling me "wait for it, please!"

Oh

Of course.

If he throws it out of timing, you will be probably even more confused. And it might not make sense I guess

That is what I think...

@Rainb yeah, then I have to learn to wait then when he delivers the punchline it makes sense then I regret interrupting and distracting myself

I don't think I relate.

Okay

How have you been so far?

11:49 PM

Hmmm

Pretty good, before changing the topic I wanted to express a last thought: When someone is teaching, what I try to do is, try to understand how they think it in their mind, or how they see it. It is pretty fun. Weird.

Yeah, that's what @El'endiaStarman has told me that he likes doing