The Awkward Silence

\O

7:53 AM

hey all o/

@IPSCommentBot @Mithrandir didn't you check for meta links in those regexes? or just not for all?

Not all of 'em

Morning o/

I've edited interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/15728/1932 could someone check if I've overstepped or not?

it felt like the answerer was trying to 'have the last word' by moving their deleted comments to their answer...

Dastardly

Seems fine to me, the callout at the end was the worse part and it was outed rightly.

8:11 AM

" If clark can give reasons why this advice doesn't work?" haha no it is on you to explain why this advise does work xD good edit

8:31 AM

do you think this one can be reopened now? and if so, pls remove the comments except mine :))

i still think the title could be better. if you guys have a better phrasing, go ahead

I think further edits are needed, there's no need to talk about mentally challenged, we can just talk about 'slow'

let me take a stab

@Cashbee have a look if you would, I've done some further work on it

@Cronax nice one, thks

i want to upboat your edit. se devs please make that possible :)

Henders

TIL: upboat == upvote

8:46 AM

@Henders Me too.

psst it's supposed to be a secret

:D

:P

I think it originated on Reddit but don't quote me on that :P

@Cronax not sure about the origins, but yes i see that there often

Henders

9:03 AM

@Cronax According to what I read about it, it did originate from Reddit, yeah.

Q: How to establish boundaries with parent who is always negative

9:17 AM

0

(In case it matters this question is made on behalf another person) I have a parent who seemingly lacks the ability to empathize with me. They'll never say things like "I understand you" or "I am sorry to hear that" instead they'll jump in to solve a problem (even if there isn't anything to solv...

boundaries parents criticism

9:39 AM

→ 42 messages moved to Trash

11:30 AM

we are reaching the end of our suggest improvements experiment. I can't wait to see the fresh statistics 😀 I hope this time shog has not so much Netflix movies to watch as last month, so the results will come a little earlier

For me personally, the experiment has been a resounding success

I caught myself several times, just by reading what I was clicking on and realizing that I shouldn't comment

I think the amount of unnecessary comments has climbed again. but i'm not sure. really looking forward for hard facts

climbed again slightly since last month. Overall still a huge improvement to before

Also i start getting depressed here at work, I am trying and trying and trying and googling and googling but no success.. :((((( stackoverflow.com/q/50966891/3441504

you probably can't help either, i do not expect you to. please comfort me :'(

Dastardly

It is my policy not to answer questions with the word "Swag" or "Swagger" in it.

haha

thanks for making me smile i needed that

@Cashbee it reads like it's returning the wrong thing, unfortunately my only experience with Swagger is as a consumer of API's

11:41 AM

@Cronax it returns the correct thing. on another frontend that my colleague wrote with angularJS he can read it just fine. the @id thing is needed to get referneced later on when the same object is used again in the json

so that object does not need to be written out fully again

not having that @id on an object that has a many to many relation, it would cause a stack overflow

12:11 PM

@Cronax lol the json was indeed not valid

glimpses hope

@Cashbee I just solved an issue on my end too, I was making a post to update an item, but instead of a json I was sending a string, but it still gave me a status 200 so it appeared to be succeeding, only to do nothing XD

@Cronax noice

Just goes tho show how important proper error handling is

Journeyman Geek

@Cashbee heh I hope it works. Would be nice for us too ;)

Dastardly

If(EverythingIsFine != true){say("Everything is fine");} else{say("Everything is fine");}

Sid

12:27 PM

@Dastardly Everything is fine

@Dastardly Error: Undefined variable EverythingIsFine.

:P

@Dastardly NoSuchMethodException: no such method say(String)

@Cronax meeeeeeeh.... even valid json gets me no step further. still the same errors

grmbl &ç^*/%* (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

12:43 PM

@Cashbee you've probably come across github.com/api-platform/core/issues/758 already?

that's my one shot in the dark, I don't have much else to add XD

@Cronax nope, but my "@id" is not an IRI from json-ld, its the objectid from jsog

Thanks for trying to help I appreciate that

This is the kind of case where I have exactly enough knowledge about the subject to be dreadfully unhelpful XD

@Cronax hehe. im new to swagger and write java only since half a year. the swagger-codegen plugin that I use has such unhelpful documentation

@Cashbee I tend to be very suspicious of code generators, I generally prefer to try to write all code by hand. It's been only very recently that I came across a code generation tool that actually provided code of a high enough standard that I'll trust in it

@Cronax As my college advisor always said, "The goal of writing code is to not write code." Granted, he was referring to writing reusable code rather than having a tool write code for you. I too prefer to write things by hand. I see a lot of merit in understanding how your code works.

1:05 PM

@IPSCommentBot @Cronax lol it's closed again.

@Rainbacon Especially re-usability is a big reason why I like to write my own code. I like to think about which bits I will put into modules/functions, it forces me to get a deeper understanding of what I'm doing

@Cronax Agreed

@IPSCommentBot It was closed for a reason. Writing an answer elsewhere and posting a link as a comment is bad

@Rainbacon You're referring to @WordsLikeJared, they've been in this chat in the past, perhaps we can send out a bat-signal :D

If I remember correctly, mith had an canned comment explaining why writing answers in comments is bad. Also I'm kind of surprised that it didn't trigger the aic regex

Q: Please don't write answers in comments

@WordsLikeJared There is a reason why the system does not allow people to answer questions that are closed/put on hold. While I do not fully agree with the closing reason, please do not circumvent that restriction. :)

@Rainbacon because it's not a direct aic. it just refers to an answer elsewhere. there are not enough regexes set up to catch each and every aic

55

I've been noticing a trend lately of people writing answers in the comment section. What does this mean? When you write an attempt to solve the OPs question - whether it's a fully fleshed out idea or not - and dump it in the comment box. This is not good. Answers in comments are detrimental to ...

discussion comments policy

1:28 PM

@Cashbee To come back to that question (interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/15776/…) I think in its current form, it's actually got a good answer: part frame challenge (don't worry about becoming smarter) and part 'if you act like so and so, you should increase the chances that people will take you seriously.'

I got the bat signal. Understood. (My thought was helping people with their problems; my focus is less whether or not questions are a fit for the site.)

Magisch

These are our top scoring comments: data.stackexchange.com/interpersonal/query/865591/…

@WordsLikeJared The better thing to do is help OP get their question reopened, so they can get answers from the community that can be voted on and quality controlled and all that.. I VTC because they don't give any detail about who these people are and what the situation is, maybe it's school bullying, maybe it's an abusive family, who knows

@EmC I see how the question is too broad on that end. I think as it is, it enables some good answers, but if that info was given it would enable even better ones

Hey, @Tinkeringbell, how go your plans for destruction of the world? :-D

Journeyman Geek

1:44 PM

First we take ~~manhattan~~ Holland?

@JourneymanGeek Are we muppets now?

Leonard Cohen - First We Take Manhattan (Promo video - 1988)

@WordsLikeJared If you feel like reading: stackoverflow.blog/2010/09/29/good-subjective-bad-subjective... It gives a good high level overview of how SE would like a subjective stack to look ;)

@TheTinyMan Busy... I'm making branches as backups right now ;)

Journeyman Geek

►

@Tinkeringbell Branches...of the whole world?? :o

@TheTinyMan Hahaha... I'm kneedeep in gitlab rn.

1:49 PM

@Tinkeringbell Having fun yet? ;-)

@TheTinyMan A little.. it's taking sooo long!

@Tinkeringbell That's been around for 8 years. I can't believe I haven't seen it linked on IPS before

@Rainbacon Have you never read anything I wrote on meta? I've linked to it sooo many times XD

@Tinkeringbell what is meta?

@Cashbee goes to fire you as an RO :P

1:55 PM

@Tinkeringbell what's a RO?

okok I'll shut up

Room Owner

oh wait

...

jebaited

(hides)

@Cashbee meta.stackexchange.com/q/40353/369802 Have a good read ;)

@Tinkeringbell Dupehammer lol

2:03 PM

@IPSCommentBot Ugh... still no goal and 'best way' is opinion based :/

@Tinkeringbell still? it had one!

(people treat op more kindly)

We still don't know who these people are, random strangers might have a much lower tolerance than close family that knows you well. Also, 'best way' is kinda opinion based, especially if we don't really have a goal here (what is 'best way' to achieve? What would you like the outcome of the situation to be?). Also, please make sure this isn't about 'what to say'(as that's off-topic per the help center) but rather what to do, so, what do you do now when this happens? What is the outcome of your usual reaction towards this kind of behaviour? — Tinkeringbell ♦ 5 mins ago

Right now, anything from shooting spree to walking away might solve the situation...

@Tinkeringbell psst, you missed a parenthesis after "help center" ;)

@EmC Huh, no I didn't :P MOD ABUSE XD

programmer pet peeve :P

2:13 PM

@EmC Did you see my parenthesis palindrome I posted in here a few weeks ago? :P

@Tinkeringbell Apparently not

@Tinkeringbell yes >:(

@Rainbacon Hahaha just kidding ;) But if you have time, it's (IMO) still a great blog post despite it's age

@EmC I love that thing XD

People always go 'wut' 'AAARGH my eyes!'

hahaha, it just looks .. so .. wrong

Yeah, it's a great post. I was just surprised that I hadn't seen it before

2:24 PM

@IPSCommentBot Nooo... that's not how it works. First fix it, then reopen, not reopen and hope the rest gets fixed XD

I'll go catch a bus first..

@Tinkeringbell wanna revert to cronax' version and wait for OP to clarify who these people are?

@Cashbee Nah, the edit in itself is good. It's just the details we need that only an OP can provide

Catija took over, which is great :)

Gives me time to travel. Later!

2:41 PM

@Tinkeringbell When you say 'making git branches for backups' that sounds like you're doing it wrong, but I guess you're going home now so no time to explain :P

@Cronax Kinda feel like she should be using snapshots too but far be it from me to criticize the future destroyer of The Netherlands! ;-)

I mean, that's one of the advantages of Git, the fact that as long as you have the identifier of a commit, you can always return to that state

if you want to 'keep something the same', there's no need for that whatsoever X

@Cronax Yep. I also like tags for things that I need more permanent-like. I'm new-ish to Git myself, at least compared to my decade-plus of TFS experience.

@TheTinyMan Tags are exactly the way to go for that sort of thing

@Cronax Yep. I think I might be getting terms mixed up..."snapshot," is that what it's called when you add a kind-of-commit without actually committing? Although I guess that's not dissimilar from another branch in git.

2:48 PM

@TheTinyMan A 'snapshot' in git is literally what a commit is :D

you're thinking of 'staging' and 'stashing' I wager

staging is where you start preparing things to be contained in a commit

stashing is where you shelve your changes for a bit, so you can re-apply them later

"Stashing." That's what I was looking for.

Thank you. :-D

I knew "snapshot" wasn't quite right. I've done a stash like twice in my git career. :-P

question for mods and knowledgeable people... is insulting another user in your profile something I should raise a flag for? or just let it be since profiles are kind of a free-for-all?

The company I used to work for started switching to git just months before I quit, and right now, I work basically in isolation. It's really...difficult...not having team members to learn from and teach to reinforce the things I'm picking up. :-P

I would say the be nice policy applies to the profile info too

@Cashbee yeah, that's what I was thinking..

2:58 PM

@TheTinyMan Personally, I've adopted GitFlow to the extent that I even use it when I'm the only one working on a project. Reinforcing good practices is easiest when you're reinforcing them by using them in practice :D

@Cronax That's definitely true. Doesn't help me much with learning terms that I don't encounter much like stashing, though. ;-)

@EmC Yeah, raise a custom mod flag on one of their posts and explain the issue with the profile

ok, cool

@Tinkeringbell Thanks for the link. Sounds like the desire of SE is to be answered by experts. I suspect the desire of many users is to get an answer they find useful. The two desires may differ sometimes. I would suggest SE to make it easy for users to find alternative sources. IMO that's good software usability/being user-centric. I skimmed the 6 points at the end. What was I supposed to get out of this?

3:18 PM

@WordsLikeJared A definition like 'an answer they find useful' is a dangerous thing. What if someone reads an answer that is wrong, but due to their personal preferences they'd prefer to go that way? Now the site has a good question, with an accepted answer that isn't the right solution to the problem in that qiuestion

It's important to remember that the Stackexchange goal is not to answer individual people's questions but to be a repository of knowledge

@Cronax well yes, to answer their questions, but not solve their lives

ah i misunderstood

it's about the primary goal of SE

@Cashbee My point was more along the lines of 'the questions are the medium, but not the end goal'

@Cronax Since you asked I will answer - yes it's dangerous. I believe policing what's right and wrong is more dangerous. The collorary to the question asker being wrong is the knowledge repository being wrong.

If you want to be a repository of knowledge that's fine. However I think that can be improved further. We should be a repository of knowledge for people. The last 2 words are critical. Overall I see that missing from SE. Being focused on people informs everything else.

@WordsLikeJared That depends on your definition of 'policing', the stackexchange platform aims to arrive at the best answer through a lot of people casting their votes, that doesn't seem like 'policing' to me, no actual policing takes place unless people are upvoting things that are verifiably wrong, which is when moderation steps in

Cascabel

3:38 PM

Might be good to find some examples for discussions like this; it's easy to end up not making progress when focused on general/absolute principles, when in reality there are gray areas and tradeoffs (and a lot of mundane cases where there's nothing much to discuss).

2

Q: How to ask a casual acquaintance for phone number without being awkward?

0

I commute to work every day and there is a person I talk to every day because we take the same train. I've been talking to this person for a few months (4+). We chat for a few minutes before the train comes every day. I'll be going on maternity leave soon and I might change my work schedule but ...

awkward-situations acquaintances phone-calls

Joel's blog post about why stack overflow (and ultimately SE as well) was created gives some good insight as to why the site is not geared towards solving individual people's problems.

@Cascabel I'll put that on a list. @WordsLikeJared I'll ping you if I've got something to show?

Q: How to handle parents to understand

4:33 PM

0

I am a university student. But my mother are very secretive about me. And she also restrict me to go to the friends parties or to go to the summer trip etc. I don't know what is the problem. It can be possible that she had some experience in her life due to which she has this type of behavior ab...

parents

5:36 PM

I agree examples would be nice:

Primary example would be hostility I've received on other SE sites. (Not here.) One experience was so bad I remember thinking "wow, if this is how people in academia are, I don't want to be in academia; also these people are literally driving away potential researchers." My real life friends have had poor experiences on SO. (To be fair, all this was before some of the recent initiatives.)

Another example would be all the downvotes/closing I've received with no explanation. If you were focused on people you'd give them tips on how to improve their content…

scohe001

@WordsLikeJared In response to your question getting closed...those people probably didn't feel the need to comment since the reason for closing is in the banner. If you ever want more insight into why a question got closed or how you could improve it, I've found that people are usually pretty helpful here in chat (this is true for all SE sites!)

@scohe001 By banner did you mean this? "Interpersonal Skills: Q&A for people looking to improve their interpersonal communication skills"

Catija

@WordsLikeJared No.

> closed as too broad by Arwen Undómiel, apaul, baldPrussian, Stian Yttervik, Randolph Carter Jun 10 at 2:10
Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question.
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

scohe001

Thanks Catija. @WordsLikeJared that's what I was referencing^

Q: How do I make amends with someone I was unfairly upset with?

6:13 PM

0

I took my car to be serviced at the dealer (yes yes they charge a fortune but I trust them and they have every incentive to do a good job so that I'll purchase another vehicle from them.) When I "checked in" I said the windshield wiper fluid spray wasn't working and so I was glad they were going...

customer-interactions cars

Q: How do I respond to a former co-worker asking for help with his resume?

6:30 PM

0

A former colleague was recently terminated from our division. He lost his mid-level development position due to several factors, all of which could be summed up to poor job performance, misuse of company resources, serial time theft, falling asleep and snoring loudly during important meetings, an...

saying-no coworkers

7:17 PM

After that message, I'm not so sure what kind of examples I should be looking for ;)

As for the hostility, we can only try. There's been posts on here that do get the hostility as well, but I think the site has improved over time. Maybe the 'suggest improvements' instead of 'comment' helps here to get people in the right mindset.

As for the downvoting... I'm dealing out downvotes a lot myself too. The main thing may be that it requires 5 votes to close a question, but once it scores -4, it's also no longer shown on the frontpage. Maybe some people see a question they think should be close…

@WordsLikeJared Also, if you have time, drop by in the room regularly :) For me, it was the easiest way to get up to speed with how stack exchange worked ;)

7:53 PM

I didn't understand your first sentence. Hostility - While I've seen a pretty decent job from people here I think the solution is to go the exact opposite - be extremely gracious and kind from the offset. That's how you can be focused on people, rather than just avoiding hostility.

It's not the downvotes that are the problem. It's downvotes without explanation (i.e. https://interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/15803/16858 : I have no idea what's wrong with my answer. I've addressed all the comments that were added.)

@Tinkeringbell lol we'll see

scohe001

8:30 PM

@WordsLikeJared if you only have one downvote, there's not much you can do. Either the person decides to stick around and let you know why they did it or they don't...it's when you get 2-3+ downvotes that you should be looking for comments and trying hard to improve.

Q: How do I tell my mom to be less nice to me?

10:03 PM

-1

My mom does a lot of stuff for me that I can do myself, and she buys things for me that I don't even need. I don't want her to have to do all that work for no reason! How do I tell her to be less nice to me?

family