The Awkward Silence - 2018-10-17 (page 1 of 3)

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12:45 AM

Dead Kennedys: Soup Is Good Food

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: Is it normal for some toddlers to be scared of strangers?

I do not have children and most of my friends do not have children, so I do not really have anyone that I can ask about this. I am new to the childcare industry and some of the toddlers seem scared of me. I am not used to this, because many of the children I meet in public are drawn to me. I hav...

work-environment coworkers

1:11 AM

Took care of that. :)

2 hours later…

Journeyman Geek

2:42 AM

ooh. I got mom to call a girl's parents, and they claim they never got the email I sent.

And mom's aware I'm grumpy at what I feel is their lack of effort at matchmaking

double score

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How should I converse with a stranger

I am a male freshman in university, and don't have many friends as my modules are mostly taught in a flipped classroom fashion. There is a module I'm taking right now and since I have been struggling academically for awhile now, I am always the last of my tutorial group to vacate the venue due ...

conversations strangers school

3:31 AM

@JourneymanGeek spam folder perhaps?

2 hours later…

Extroverted Main Man

5:54 AM

0

Q: How to better communicate with my younger brother

Personally, I am a 21 year old male, and my family consists of my mum, dad and a younger brother aged 17. To provide an overall context of my family before I talk about the problem. Analysis of involved characters (Might contain certain levels of bias) Myself Extremely academically driven, w...

relationships family conflicts

@Mithrandir Is it normal that the bot reported my last comment? I mean, it definitively looks chatty, no argue with that, but wasn't the all point of me being whitelisted to avoid that the bot reported me? (just want to make sure that the whitelist works properly)

→ 4 messages moved to Trash

6:35 AM

@Noon in which room?

@Mithrandir This one (Magisch moved the message to Trash)

hmm

odd, that shouldn't happen

Tell me if you want me to post a chatty message somewhere so that we can check that the whitelist is working

(I can also give you a link to the comment if you need it and have trouble finding it in Trash)

7:23 AM

Do we have a bot whitelist now?

we've had for a while, but it's for messages not being reported, not about privs

any particular reason for that?

People got crazy about my comments being reported in here :P

@Magisch reduce noise

if it's someone we know isn't going to be posting chatty comments, then reporting their comments isn't helpful

...it's basically just the chat regulars on there

@Tinkeringbell That's because your poor heart hurts every time the bot report us as chatty :'(

:P

7:34 AM

pretty sure my heart is busy pumping blood and it's my brain that is mildly disappointed by this

Well, it was far less poetic your way :P

My heart is a very busy organ keeping me alive and all

Journeyman Geek

My heart is a many chambered pump....

which sounds oddly poetic

→ 5 messages moved to Trash

fun fact: there's a parrot boss in WoW called "Sharkbait"

8:35 AM

Well. IPS might find that the HNQ effect will lessen from now on...

...due to IPS questions being repressed from the HNQ sidebar.

@justkelly_ok Woof, yeah. I agree that's entirely inappropriate for SO. I just pushed a change to remove questions from that site from the Hot Network sidebar. I'll ping folks internally to review the site's content more closely as well.

Tweeted by aalear on October 16, 2018 at 10:18 PM in reply to justkelly_ok

@Mithrandir I can't find this :(

@Mithrandir I not sure I understand what it means. Is it that, what would have hit NHQ before whould be reviewed by SO employee before going in the NHQ sidebar?

And any idea on what was "entirely inappropriate for SO"?

If you click the date in the onebox you can look at the Twitter thread

Pretty sure it just means that IPS HNQs will no longer show on SO

Ah, thanks for the tip! I understand better now :)

IPS isn't even the most inappropriate site on the network for this

Pretty sure I saw a question about religiously sanctioned wife beating at some point on one of the religious stacks

8:47 AM

o_o

@avazula +1

Or something like this warning: It's a discussion, but the concepts discussed are graphic.

"They are as captives in your possession"

I took a look at here and we are definitively not in the NHQ barre any more

Might be why things are so slow this morning :/

@Noon Wooh, some people are gonna have trouble to get rep anymore haha

8:53 AM

@avazula Hey, new user would have way more difficulties doing that than old one ^^

I think it's kinda unfair if IPS is the only site to get evicted though

Hey, especially if all our question are banned (if it's only some, why not, but all!)

How are we suppose to attract new users if we don't show-up in the side barre?

I pinged Adam to ask about it.

Journeyman Geek

hm

> I'll ping folks internally to review the site's content more closely as well.

@Noon well, its all or nothing

HNQ is intentionally not curated after all

9:11 AM

@JourneymanGeek It could be that they find question about "sex" and "cheating" are inappropriate but we have other NHQ that are just fine. I mean, when I look at the "votes" question posts, they are mostly interesting questions. Like the first one: What to do if you are accidentally following someone?

IPS has definitely been pulled out of HNQ. That's about all I can say for now ;)

It's been pulled network wide too

:(

Yeah, we're out of HNQ everywhere for a while.

So. I want good questions, great answers and voting to represent that in the meanwhile! :P

I feel like an ugly duckling

9:13 AM

Means we lost I'd say about 75% of our traffic for now

Well, it's creating an awkaward silence on the site...

Journeyman Geek

.... Oh snap

@Magisch Means we also have a chance to prove that HNQ was the root of all evil

color me pessimistic for now

this should have been announced first on ips meta, not in a twitter thread

@Magisch I feel that way too :/

9:16 AM

@Magisch yeah, feels a bit like we're being grounded

@Magisch We got a message in the mod-room. I think we messed up by not reaching out to you first. I asked the CM that left the message if I could share... I wanted to wait for their answer.

@Tinkeringbell What are people on meta supposed to think?

That non members on twitter have more influence over how our site is run then both the mods and the actual community on meta?

@Magisch Ehmm. I think we're overreaching by blaming everything on Twitter here.

If I get into trouble for sharing this, f-it.

It looks like they're revisiting what shows up in HNQ anyways, and IPS is just a first step.

@Tinkeringbell This is the same optics issue as the welcoming thing in general

Of course twitter isn't the problem, the way they go about communicating changes is

HNQ has always been seen as some kind of problem child. Either sites complain about the traffic it brings, or other sites complaining about 'this isn't related to programming'...

9:20 AM

this is gonna be a massive crapfest in the making

I personally don't mind being out of HNQ for a while. I hope y'all are willing to work with us and make the best of it :D

@Tinkeringbell No offence, but I feel like it's pretty much what we're doing for over a year now ...

@Tinkeringbell So, since you had a more detailed (?) message, what do they mean by "review the site's content more closely"?

@avazula Duh!

I meant just the fact of being out of HNQ, not that you're not trying in general! :D

But personally I don't mind being out of HNQ (at least for a bit). It's sporty to constantly explain the rules to new users who don't bother taking the tour and just wanna put their 2 cents in it

9:21 AM

Y'all have been amazing so far!

@Magisch Only if we make it one ;)

@Tinkeringbell :) you too dear.

@Tinkeringbell I might. This trend of not communicating with the community changes affect stinks

@Noon Ehh. That one is new to me. I am definitely going to poke some things, but it's likely to happen behind the screens first. Trust me, I'll try to let you know as much as I'm allowed to let you know!

(and perhaps even a bit more if I'm feeling nefarious :P)

This entire discussion should have been had on meta IPS before this happened

Journeyman Geek

@Tinkeringbell technically... :p

I blame Twitter for a lot

9:23 AM

@Tinkeringbell "it's likely to happen behind the screens first" so we change things then we say we changed it? Doesn't seem very democratic ._.

Sure mods have been informed but nobody else has. I'd say that if they want to cut out site traffic by 75% they should at least explain their reasons and accept feedback before doing it.

@Tinkeringbell Thank you :)

yay, answer nuking time

@Magisch There should've at least been an announcement. On that, we agree :)

@JourneymanGeek WE'RE NOT GOING TO BLAME TWITTER IN MY ROOM! :P

MUTINY

9:26 AM

@Tinkeringbell :P I must admit, I find the bit about "review the site's content more closely" kind of insulting. Like we haven't done a good job until then :/

Journeyman Geek

@Noon well some sites are easier than others

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" | How to refuse to shake hands without offending the other party?

@Mithrandir there's a lot of mutiny in here these days :p

Journeyman Geek

I mean we literally had a cm yell at us about scope on sr

sr?

9:27 AM

@Noon It happens. I can only guess as to what they want to review for, but it's the job of CM's to look into (new) beta sites and make sure they fit into the SE network. We might just have one telling us 'no more questions about talking to friends that want to talk to their friends on their girlfriends wanting to sleep with them'

We might just have to be more careful of our titles... I dunno. As soon as we know, you'll know too ;)

@Tinkeringbell It just the way it was done, talking about that in Twitter and not with us :/

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" | As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends

@Tinkeringbell I appriciate that :)

9:29 AM

@Noon I'm already complaining about that! :D

@Tinkeringbell I'm prood of you :P

Apparently my post was tweeted about and it partially caused this site to be excluded from HNQ

@Mithrandir how come those don't get deleted earlier??

@avazula *shrugs*

Dang it there's so much to do ...

@gparyani it's not only yours

9:31 AM

I'm curious what the right response from my end is. Dissociating would seem disingenuous. I've edited its title

@avazula "Partially"

@gparyani yeah , but i mean your post isn't the only one that was tweeted about.

@gparyani It's all the site, so not just "partially"...

eyeballs-requested | How and when to best approach a stranger about a “wardrobe malfunction?”

twitter.com/sonic_gparyani/status/1052492383273869312 .

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" | What can I do to be a courteous guest, when someone says I don't need to bring anything?

9:33 AM

Okay. Can we just park this until we get a hold of Adam and/or any other CM, get more information? There's no need to blame anyone for this (yet).

And I'd rather not spend an entire day guessing about stuff in this chatroom, raising unfounded suspicions and seeing causations that may not even be there.

@Tinkeringbell Please edit the above tweet onebox to a link

@Tinkeringbell time to write an angry meta post holding SE management accountable for making big changes without community input or informing the community

@gparyani If I may, it's true that the original title may have seemed a bit "clickbait-y"

@Magisch I'm hoping that was sarcastic.

Change of subject then! Why does my own accepted answer don't show up as the first post for me (I'm guessing it does for you?)? It's kind of bugging me :/

9:37 AM

@Noon i'll look at it

@Noon self-accepts aren't stickied

@Noon If you accept your own answer to your own question, it's just sorted in the normal order. Only a post by someone else, once accepted, sticks to the top.

@Mithrandir partly

@doppelspooker huh, TIL.

not yet thought about how to address this but someone should at least get held accountable over the flow of information on this

9:38 AM

Hum, alright, good to now :)

We wouldn't want to prevent an OP from notifying answer authors about changes to their question, so these comments ought not get removed yet.

Has there ever been a case where a user kept reposting the same comment that kept getting deleted? (I did that once because I thought I didn't post it for some reason, but it did go through, and was deleted.)

@Noon I read it. I think you did very well. It must have been hard for you to do this but I'm glad it ended up well and that your friend took it well too.

@gparyani ...I'm aware of a case, but not on IPS.

→ 14 messages moved to Trash

@gparyani some people complain sometimes.

9:41 AM

eyeballs-requested | "Try this!" + non-IPS answer | How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

eyeballs-requested | "What should I do?" | How does one respond to statements like "It's all yours"?

Ugh. I'm broken, guys. I know life hasn't been great lately but I'm at a point ... I can't even write comments about deletion xD

@avazula Well, I must admit that posting the message did triggered some anxiety. What I wasn't expecting was me panicking when I got the answer XD (like, oh dear! I have to answer something! Quick! What can I say, what can I say? Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, I don't know what to do!)

@Mithrandir Is that a user script?

@gparyani no

@Noon I can imagine that ^^

9:44 AM

So is anyone going to inform meta we've been blocked from HNQ?

@Mithrandir It's just some work xD

@Magisch MSE you mean?

Maybe it should be a mod writing in a calm composed manner

no IPS meta

Journeyman Geek

@Magisch personally I'd say hold off and let the mod/cm team deal with it

@Magisch let's just wait until staff is awake

@Magisch I ... don't see what it'd change ?

9:45 AM

This is disappointing on so many levels

@gparyani If you want to write one for me I'd use it, but I'm not competent enough to write one on my own :P

@Magisch I agree it's not a pleasant time :/

@Mithrandir FR!!

something like adding a "try this" option to the flag menu, which would 1.) flag as NaA 2.) leave an autocomment 3.) post a message to chat

I'll write you one if I have time :D

:D

9:47 AM

@Mithrandir Such a good idea, I approve!

@Magisch I know it is. I could put something on meta, but I don't have much more than 'Yesterday, we were told IPS is going to be off the HNQ list for a while. We have as little information as all of you, and we're currently waiting for a CM to wake up'

All in all, to avoid conspiracy theories and guesses, we'd better wait an hour or three until one wakes up ;)

@Tinkeringbell Someone finds a new topic :D

I say we talk about DUCKS

user image

@avazula Have a duck pic! :D

@Tinkeringbell Woooh, how pretty!!

@Magisch let's drop this now please

9:50 AM

user image

@Noon That's not ducks ;) That's halloween!

@Tinkeringbell Speaking of which, guys: have you planned something for Halloween?

@Tinkeringbell Maybe they are gost ducks?

I just thought this morning that I could decorate my house and buy candy to eat it in front of children

eyeballs-requested | How do I tell someone I recently met that I am in a relationship?

Journeyman Geek

9:51 AM

@avazula now now

one buys candy after haloween I am told

eyeballs-requested | How do I tell someone I recently met that I am in a relationship?

@JourneymanGeek But what's the point then? You can't make children sad :(

Journeyman Geek

Not seeing the point there ;)

@Mithrandir you're taking all my delete/flag casts :p

Nightcore - Come Little Children - (Lyrics)

@avazula yay :P

i should at some point get 4k

Journeyman Geek

9:53 AM

@Mithrandir rep or screen? ;p

...rep

both xD

and camera

@JourneymanGeek you don't see the joy frustrating children brings into a heart? :o

Journeyman Geek

4k for still cameras is kinda meh

;)

@avazula no? ;p

9:53 AM

You're not ready to be a parent dude

xD

Journeyman Geek

lol

I have a dog.

I have tonnes of practice

@JourneymanGeek how about 4k60 and 12MP? :D

@JourneymanGeek Dogs never stop loving you, no matter what

Journeyman Geek

@avazula they're also basically eternal toddlers

true :)

Introverted Meta Man.

9:57 AM

1

Q: What caused this site to be excluded from Hot Network Questions?

Recently, the Stack Exchange team made the decision to exclude this site from the Hot Network questions on the right sidebar of questions across the network and on the stackexchange.com homepage. Why was this decision made? Were question titles on this site too inappropriate? Can we please get f...

discussion support hot-network-questions

Come on @gparyani, we agreed we'd wait...

Sorry, I had navigated away from this chat a while back...

@gparyani We're on it.

JNat may be awake, doesn't mean they know what happened, or feel up to communicating about it to an angry mob.

in the meantime, we can all go clean up the comments in the reprieve from new ones...

@gparyani we've been over this before. Once you have been requested to leave a topic alone, bringing it up again is not what you're supposed to do.

10:17 AM

Just posting a last funny picture before leaving the room (time to eat). Promise I won't annoy you with this after that:

user image

I'm deleting my proposed question on the sandbox, most seem to disagree on my question and it got a downvote

→ 5 messages moved to Trashcan

Extroverted Main Man

0

Q: How to handle emotional expectation about an animals death, I do not fulfill?

I just experienced a difficult situation and I did not know how to react. My SO and me have a pet hamster that showed some worrying behavior and might have to be put down. She is very attached to him and she started worrying and crying intensely. While I like the hamster, I am not really emotiona...

relationships pets

@Noon ...that looks rather freaky

10:33 AM

Ooookay...

I had the weirdest conversation ever

A coworker called me for 15' and was like "oh, you're working on this. Good. Good" "huh ... thanks ... how can I ... help you?" "oh no nothing I'm just glad someone's working on that"

@avazula awkward...

@Termatinator yeah, really ...

@Termatinator where is it?

@Noon hahaha. Enjoy your meal :)

@avazula interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/3315/7064 this but it is deleted now

@Termatinator Thanks. I still can see it so maybe I could give my 2 cents on why it got a downvote :)

oh that one, I remember we spoke about it with Noon

Huh. Maybe the downvote was because the question says "how should I tell her I love you" because we do not accept such questions in here and it'd get closed if it'd graduated as is

And I think you may wanna consider editing its title for it's very similar to the one of your previous question

Do you still wish to ask it?

10:48 AM

@avazula @Termatinator I believe it was too similar to the previous answer. I mean, I would have vote to close it as a duplicate myself so... :/

I agree

IPS Comment Bot

Sorry, -1. One of the parameters of the question is that I did not and do not volunteer to be a source of support for this person, and most of what you've described here is ways of increasing communication between us. To clarify, I don't get the impression that she is in crisis; if she was, I would consider it a duty to help. But she already has professional support in place (which she has told me about in detail). — Meelah 56 secs ago

#19308 Meelah | A: How to gently and compassionately stop a stranger talking to you about their problems? (score: -1) | posted 4 days ago by ConfusedANDHungry01 (1 rep) | edited 3 days ago by A J (6574 rep) | Toxicity 0.103658 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["+1", "experimental(@mith)"]

@IPSCommentBot tp

IPS Comment Bot

Marked this comment as caught correctly (tp). Currently marked 1tps/0fps

@avazula Isn't that a fp? Since it's the OP answering, keeping the comment around might be a good idea

10:54 AM

@Noon I agree, but I thought that since the answer's gonna get deleted, it doesn't matter anyway. But that's my POV :)

@avazula i still want to ask it but I don’t know how to express it without making it look similiar to one of my previous questions

Erh, I get that. I don't know either. Maybe you could undelete it and ask for further help from people who feel like they could help you editing it?

@avazula @Noon already tried, but it still was a bit close to the other question

I saw that, indeed

@Noon also thx for helping me with that question I deleted

11:11 AM

I'm sorry, I don't know how to help you further :/

@avazula don't worry about it, it's probably a problem I have to overcome somehow

Is your trip to the park over now? If yes, how was it?

no that is next saturday

she was at my house last saturday

The tickets for that are already bought though

okay :) are you excited to go?

Excited, no i’m Never excited about anything really. I am scared at how it Will play out however

I know it sounds confusing, it is also confusing for me. The not being excited

IPS Comment Bot

11:50 AM

@Cloud - We are happy that you have some progress towards a solution. Hopefully this counsellor is aware of your feelings on this and the resolution that you are hoping for. I can't help but think that if you attended one session it would be useful, if only to give your input. With solo counseling theirs always a chance that one person's viewpoint won't accurately portray all the facts. — Rob 15 secs ago

#18952 Rob | Q: How to re-build intimacy with romantic partner (score: 6) | posted 18 days ago by Cloud (48 rep) | edited 18 days ago by Cloud (48 rep) | Toxicity 0.05356157 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["possible-aic"]

12:03 PM

@avazula but I am happy to go there

Sorry, I was eating lunch

@Termatinator No, I think I get it. Anyway, I'm happy for you :)

@avazula eating lunch after 1PM, lol. pretty unusual

@Termatinator I'm in France and I have Spanish roots so, the two combined leads to pretty late meals :p

@avazula thx. I think the excited part has to do with my autism but I don't want to shove every problem there

@avazula ah okay, I get it

@Termatinator Don't worry, it's fine. If you wanna talk feel free to do so :)

12:59 PM

Wow, it's a bit quiet in here :)

Wow, it's a bit quiet in here :)

Posting a message twice will solve that! :P

@Tinkeringbell Please don't make fun of me :p my company proxy prevents me from using some software so I had to create a tethering spot, but it makes my connection unstable and very slow (no duh)

Pfft. I feel your pain. My company uses proxies too, and ours has been wonky for over a week now. Today, I spent hours without a connection to my development server :/

@Tinkeringbell :/ must have been really hard

@avazula I'm working from home today. I just fired up the PC and focused on keeping chatrooms quiet :P

1:04 PM

@Tinkeringbell So you'd like me to keep quiet? :p

Hahaha no :P We can talk, a lot! :P

does anyone here have expierence with c#?

it's half a tone above C and half a tone below D

2

I'm curious, do you get my messages? They all end up in timeout rn...

I'm curious, do you get my messages? They all end up in timeout rn...

@Tinkeringbell So you'd like me to keep quiet? :p

@Tinkeringbell :/ must have been really hard

@Termatinator Yes, but the conclusion is that it's terrible. Why?

@avazula i got this one twice

@avazula working with c# now but I encountered a problem

1:09 PM

@Termatinator a bit

the problem is that I created a for loop but it somehow acts like a sleep for the code

even for the code inside the loop

uh

@Termatinator Could you share your code? We have a dedicated room

@Termatinator Like, over here

posted in there

IPS Comment Bot

1:30 PM

No what I mean is I totally agree with your suggestions, but the undermining trust part seems like you interpreted it like I told him those words explicitly and hence I gave him the impression to think that I think he's lazy. Even if he indeed is, I didn't say those to him at all, but because I'm writing this post to paint a context, how can I not write it down. — Prashin Jeevaganth 1 min ago

#19419 Prashin Jeevaganth | A: How can I make peace with my younger brother (score: 0) | posted 30 minutes ago by Benjamin Gruenbaum (448 rep) | Toxicity 0.17570639 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["chatty"]

@avazula can I downstar this?

@JAD Do what you want, it's just my opinion :p

user image

@JAD hahaha

Oh stop it, I can't be the only one disliking C#!

(not mine btw)

1:38 PM

^^

IPS Comment Bot

I've created a "death" tag for you. — Erik 1 min ago

2

#19415 Erik | Q: How to handle emotional expectation about an animals death, I do not fulfill? (score: 5) | posted 3 hours ago by Hakaishin (764 rep) | edited 3 minutes ago by Erik (6428 rep) | Toxicity 0.455572 | tps/fps: 0/0

Matched regex(es) ["short-comment"]

^ Well, without the context this sound pretty threatening :P

2:25 PM

@Noon hahah

2:39 PM

@avazula the code works now, thanks to @JAD

@Termatinator Great! I'm glad :)

@avazula saves me the hours of thinking of a solution :)

@Termatinator Heh, that's the lot of us programmers :p

@avazula yup, or discovering that you have 100 errors in your code

you fix one, you create another 5

@Termatinator ♪ 99 lil'bugs in the code, 99 lil'bugs in the code, take one, patch'em down. 538 lil'bugs in the code ... ♪

2:49 PM

user image

:p

just found it online

@Magisch Hey folks, just a friendly reminder that site policy really ought to be discussed on meta. Most people don't make it to chat and finding discussions is difficult after the conversation moves forward.

@apaul I'm surprised there isn't a seperate chat for that (or I just couldn't find it)

@apaul We're working on that meta post. This amount of snark isn't really helpful. Shit happened, we're cleaning up now. Not making more shit to sit in.

2:57 PM

@Tinkeringbell I'm sorry that you read into that, no snark intended.

@apaul Okay. Then I'm sorry for being on edge a little. Today's been a little tough. Did you catch up on the entire transcript? It shows there already is a post on meta, waiting for mods/CMs to work out a reply to ;)

@apaul It's been brought to MSE as well. We're just waiting for answers as this surprised everyone and we have no idea why this happened.

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Oct '1817

The Awkward Silence

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