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2:10 PM
1
Q: Colleague thinks that he is too slow

AnoEBackground I am frequently working with a colleague who is a little bit junior to me (but not particularly "fresh" - he has been in the company for over 10 years in a lead developer/expert role for some other software). He is relatively new in our team, with me as his primary coach, so I, by def...

 
UGH! too many answers around here sound like a bunch of Doctor Phil Wannabe's.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Then we're most likely getting too much questions inviting such answers :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Well, the latest talks about a low-confidence coworker and asks for HOW TO TALK TO HIM, and we have answers going on about the dunning-kruger effect and about how the colleague has low confidence. The OP knows that, and it's clear from his question, what he's asking for is how to approach his colleague.
That is annoying.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Meh... how's 'you could explain to him that its dunning kruger effect and work from that premise' wrong?
It is a way to approach the issue!
 
2:31 PM
@Tinkeringbell because it doesn't say HOW to approach the employee.
Point being that the answers are heavy on psychology, but any technique, skill, how to approach, or any interpersonal skills at all, are not being presented.
 
@Tinkeringbell thats not even that much
 
@TheSnarkKnight Oh like that..
But your answer is telling the OP what to say... it doesn't mention what Interpersonal Skill you're teaching ;)
 
Hey
 
(or what skill to keep in mind when talking to him)
@Magisch HI
 
@Tinkeringbell those answers would be fine for TWP, where we focus on the WHAT but here, it's the HOW that matters.
 
2:35 PM
These sandwiches are carb explosions
 
@Magisch I'd be in a diabetic coma for a week if I even looked at them too long.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Yeah, I get that ;-) ... so, could you explain the underlying skill to your example sentences? That would be a 'how' :D
 
@Tinkeringbell good point. I'll go back and edit in an explanation.
 
0
Q: How do I confront my mother after she deceived me into giving her a substantial amount of money?

rbsdcaWhen my mother learned that I had a substantial amount of money in savings, she informed me that my brother had been arrested a year ago, lost his job, and needed an attorney because he was facing 120 years in prison. She said they had not told me because they didn't want to worry me. I immedia...

 
@Tinkeringbell how does it look now?
 
2:42 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Like this:
Much better ;)
 
How do y'all deal with chocolate on bread?
Thats like sugar on starch
 
@Tinkeringbell I think I may post something on Meta about making sure we address the IPS and not (just) the problem being presented.
 
mumble mumble mumble morning mumble :-)
 
@TheSnarkKnight That might be a good idea...Make sure to link it to the 'we're not here to tell you what to say/write' meta
@TheTinyMan pours coffee
 
I know someone who literally makes Nutella sandwiches. :-p
@Tinkeringbell Gross! xD But I appreciate the sentiment. ^.^
 
2:47 PM
@TheTinyMan EWWWWWWW!!!!!!
 
@Magisch We conveniently don't count the calories
 
(Also, because my physiology is weird, caffeine puts me to sleep)
 
@TheTinyMan Nutella isn't chocolate
 
@Tinkeringbell I would but mah rolls
 
@Tinkeringbell Maybe kinda? D:
 
2:48 PM
@TheTinyMan Nah.... too many nuts, to little chocolate taste
 
@Tinkeringbell I like the way you think. I have a mathematical formula that I usually use to describe how good a given sweet is.
 
@Magisch Weird though, we eat those sandwiches like crazy and I've never heard them being called out as a source of obesity :P
 
@Tinkeringbell I think calling nutella "edible" is a stretch
 
@Tinkeringbell %Awesome = chocolateMass / totalMass
 
@TheTinyMan Oh me too... I just count how many I can binge eat... the more, the better the candy :P
 
2:50 PM
I must admit I don't really like chocolate anymore
 
@Magisch My heart and my face both weep for you.
 
@TheSnarkKnight Hey, I'm not a fan of it either...
 
I had a piece the other day and it seems like I'm really oversensitive to sweetness now because it tasted disgustingly sweet
 
stirs chocolate into coffee Morning folks!
 
@Magisch Try other cholates. There's one with peppers in it, iirc
@apaul Good morning to you too!
 
2:52 PM
@Tinkeringbell Oh, man. My favorite chocolates ever have been chocolates with chili peppers in them, and chocolate-covered acai berries.
 
@TheTinyMan I never dared to eat the chili peppers chocolate.
I don't even know what an acai berry is supposed to look/taste like, is it sweet?
 
@Tinkeringbell I think it was acai. xD The chocolate-berry that I'm thinking is sweet, but it's a richness that perfectly complements that of the chocolate without feeling like they're competing for your tongue's attention.
 
Once when I was a kid my flight got delayed and I found a bank of coin-op chocolates covered coffee bean dispensers... I was vibrating by the time I got on the plane...
 
Chili pepper chocolate bar https://www.pepperscale.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/lindt-chili-chocolate_lg.jpg

The acai one ... although I'm no longer sure that it's even real acai, but it sure *seems* like a real fruit, and the nutritional value tells me 'fruit,' not 'candy' IIRC.
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/a7/50/ab/a750ab40d510b59071b6a18b2f193038.png
 
@apaul Yuk... Somehow I hate coffee beans and chocolate. I like chocolate covered raisins though
And we have some here with an 'orange' taste filling... those are good too
 
2:57 PM
0
Q: How to tell my friend that I am dating someone they introduced me to?

Tom EatonBackstory I have a girlfriend (let's call her "Alice") who is 24, and I am 18. Before I met this girl I became good friends with "Bob" (he is 25), who then introduced me to "Alice". A few months after this we began dating. It is now at the stage where we think "Bob" should be informed. Ideal en...

 
@Tinkeringbell chocolate and coffee is one of my favorite things. Chocolate oranges are pretty good too though.
 
@apaul Hmmm... But there's definitely a difference between hot chocolate and coffee drinks and covered beans. The first one is tolerable. The second one not :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Both are magic :P
 
@Tinkeringbell do you have a link to the 'we're not here to tell you what to say/write" meta? I can't seem to find it
 
@Tinkeringbell Oh, man, now I'm craving some hot chocolate. Just got a nice cold front in here, too, so it's actually cold enough for it. xD
It was flippin' calculates 19C yesterday, and now it's -1C
 
3:12 PM
@TheTinyMan It's still sunny and warm down here ;)
 
@apaul You have my condolences. :-D
 
@TheTinyMan Ya, doesn't really feel like the holidays when it's 80° outside.
 
@ExtrovertedMainMan About this latest question. How many people would worry that something like that would bother their friends? I can think of absolutely none that I know who would object - but is that just because I have an unusual friend group?
 
@TheTinyMan I dated women in their early to mid twenties when I was that age.
 
@apaul Well that's not the problem that the OP anticipates, it's that he's dating a close friend of his friend.
 
3:26 PM
@TheTinyMan Kinda looked like it was both? But I also met most of the people I dated back then through mutual friends.
 
@apaul Right, that's kind of what I'm getting at. I don't understand why his friend would react badly, at least not to that element of the question.
Oh, the question's been edited to lessen the importance of the age difference
 
@TheTinyMan Ah
@TheTinyMan I did have a few instances where people were protective of their friends, but that was more of a judgement on me or the person I was dating or both. Sort of a "you all gotta know that this is gonna end badly"
 
@apaul Yeah, that makes sense.
@apaul Guess I've been on the concerned-friend side of that one before. :-p
 
@TheTinyMan I've definitely been on both sides from time to time.
 
But the meta's already there I see
 
4:00 PM
[ SmokeDetector | MS ] Shortened URL in body: In recent years, frequent disasters, why there are so many disasters? by Christian on interpersonal.SE (@Tinkeringbell @dhein)
 
@SmokeDetector Nice pictures :P
 
1
A: How do I confront my mother after she deceived me into giving her a substantial amount of money?

IamNotListeningSince you are unable (or unwilling) to have this confrontation face to face, I would send her a letter stating that you no longer wish to speak with her and will not bail her out again should trouble come. Be sure to spell out the reasons as factually as you can. If you can convey your messag...

Think we can get this re-opened now?
 
@MisterPositive Hmm.... There's still open questions in the comments...
That I agree with.
@ExtrovertedMainMan In the mean while, this could use some more spam flags..
 
4:20 PM
@ExtrovertedMainMan thou shalt not post spam.
 
0
Q: How do I respond to someone saying yes to "Would anyone like the last [Insert Item]?"?

Ethan FieldSo today at work we had a tray of doughnuts, my colleague called out to the office, "I'm going to have the last one unless anyone else would like it?". At this point, I realised that I don't think I've ever heard anyone respond saying that they would like the last thing. If I were to say this to...

 
@apaul My toughts exaclty ;P
 
0
Q: Adressing the IPS in the questions as opposed to the non-IPS problems contained

The Snark KnightInspired by the responses to this question I've seen a pattern of responses to the questions being more focused on the situation rather than the IPS required to solve the problem. In other stacks, the questions can be more about the what to do, but here, as in SO, we need to be more focused on...

1
Q: Expressing opinion coming over as offensive in IPS

MansNotHotFirst of all, i have no clue if this site is the right context for this question, but i have no clue where to ask this, as it somehow also concerns IPS. If it is wrong, please migrate it to the right site. I have read so many times in the past days that people worry how to say their opinion on s...

1
Q: What's wrong with these "too broad" questions?

Monica CellioTwice recently I've answered questions that seemed clear and answerable to me, and then later the questions were put on hold as too broad. I try to be a good SE citizen; I don't knowingly answer questions that ought to be closed instead, and I try to avoid making assumptions that need to be clar...

 
4:37 PM
0
Q: How to politely refuse telling your parents where you work?

guestyHow can someone politely refuse to tell his parents where he works? While I don't have a bad relationship with the part of the parents who tries to find out you could say that our relation is rather cold. Since I've already made bad experiences (person calling my boss at work) and my sister had...

 
@Tinkeringbell at least this stack has become popular enough to attract attention :/
 
@TheSnarkKnight Oh, we have plenty of spam :P
 
@Tinkeringbell TWP made hacker news and we've been spammed and trolled nearly to death.
 
@TheSnarkKnight We kick SPAM and TROLL butts.
 
including numerous posts about activities of an <ahem> adult nature
@MisterPositive what was our record? five minutes to close then delete?
 
4:50 PM
@TheSnarkKnight yep
I thinks its important to get the trash removed ASAP
 
@MisterPositive it also takes away their fun and makes them see that it's an exercise in futility. Nobody is going to spend time making a troll or spam post if nobody sees it
 
@TheSnarkKnight Yep yep
 
For the Dutch people here.... Is a 'Sinterklaasgedicht' of 26 lines acceptable or waaay too short? I'm a bit inspirationless
 
@TheSnarkKnight oh, don't I wish.
We regularly nuke spam in under twenty seconds in Charcoal, and the regular spammers keep on going.
 
I just got Marshal Badge through that spam question though, so I don't mind this time
 
5:02 PM
Congratulations!
 
@Tinkeringbell Mind what?
 
@MisterPositive The spam question :P
 
So what I'm hearing is that I should go ahead and write a bunch of spam questions :-)
 
@TheTinyMan What you should be reading is the this time :P
Don't you dare ;)
 
@Tinkeringbell I thought you meant flagging, which in my little head did not compute.
 
5:06 PM
@Tinkeringbell But we can gamify this! :o
 
@MisterPositive Well, flagging a 500th thing is obviously more fun than flagging things just because they're bad :P
@TheTinyMan We're not going to gamify anything :P SE is serious business!
 
@Tinkeringbell So 500 spam posts, okay!
Wow, are you turning into Catija with the fun-hating? xD
 
@TheTinyMan I thought I'd try :P
 
@Tinkeringbell The world can only take one Catija, and it needs one Tinkeringbell! :o
 
5:10 PM
@TheTinyMan I'm pretty sure I can disappear without the world ending :P
 
@Tinkeringbell Nope! Rain of fire and calamity!
 
@TheTinyMan Shhh don't talk about fun... She'll hear you.
 
@apaul :o I'll bet her ears are burning right now!
 
@Mithrandir for as popular as SE is, it's getting a light amount of spam. I've seen other places totally overwhelmed to the point of shutting down. As for trolling, there were a few groups that I know of back in the day that were shut down by someone...
SE is VERY good at handling them
 
5:28 PM
My girlfriend is trying to convince me that a vacuum cleaner is called a 'sweeper.' I am curious which term people in here prefer to use to describe that item, because she's decided to tally opinions and go to war with me on this. xD
 
@TheTinyMan Welll... the Dutch word for it translates to English as 'dust sucker'
Have fun with that :P
Maybe you can use that as a compromise?
 
@Tinkeringbell Haha, what's the word in Dutch? xD
 
A sweeper? that's the first I've ever heard it call that?
 
It's 'Stofzuiger'
 
@Tinkeringbell but there can be no compromise...this is war!
Right, @TheSnarkKnight?? I'd literally never heard that before!
 
5:51 PM
0
Q: How to deal with accented people

EhsaanMy friend is going to pay me a visit in a few days. He comes from another city (Shiraz, I live in Isfahan). The problem is that he is heavily accented (I don't know if heavily word is correct here or not). I had trouble with understanding the voice messages he sent me, so I ask him to send text m...

 
6:38 PM
0
Q: What can I do when I know someone is acting deliberately but pretending otherwise so I cannot confront them without looking bad?

code-sushiI work at an institution of higher education. One of our employee benefits is a generous tuition reimbursement if we take classes here. I decided to take advantage of this and go back to school, finish my degree by scheduling classes part time around the FT job that allows me the benefit of thi...

 
7:13 PM
This is a classic example of a post that should not be here ^^^^^^^ definitely should be migrated to TWP
 
7:41 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Yep, I flagged it as such.
 
8:25 PM
0
Q: Was this a sign for me to talk to her?

Kyle WelchOkay so this morning I was in the computer lab, and there are usually about around 100 computers there. In the morning it's usually relative empty, so there are just open computers scattered across the room. So anyway, I see this relatively cute girl come up and sit two computers next to me. Sh...

 
goes to wonder about the lack of Populist badges on the site
realizes that there is no such lack
 
@HDE226868 We do have very few marshal badges though...
 
@Tinkeringbell I'm not surprised. Those are rare, even on high-activity sites that have been around for a while.
 
@HDE226868 Hmmm... I wasn't aware of that... I thought they would be pretty common
 
8:40 PM
Well, we get a disproportionately large amount of flag-able stuff. We are not a normal SE site. :-)
 
@HDE226868 What are we going to do about that, I often wonder...
Are we supposed to somehow end up like a 'normal' site? Or are we OK as is?
 
I'm pretty sure that the IPS that exists in a year or two will be largely unrecognizable as what IPS is now.
 
@Tinkeringbell Short of adding more barriers to participation that I doubt we don't want even if we can introduce them, I think we have to be OK with the disproportionately large amount of issues.
 
@Tinkeringbell At this point, I feel like there's little that can be done to reduce things by, say, and order of magnitude (i.e. 10 flags a week, rather than 100). It might just come with the scope, and the fact that we've chosen to enact strict content policies.
 
It's going to take a lot of posts and work to figure out our scope, what works here and what doesn't and that requires testing and seeing what happens when we have different sorts of questions and answers.
 
8:44 PM
^^^
We know the site can work (sort of). We just need to optimize it.
 
Patience isn't my best virtue :/
 
@Catija But even when we have that, I can't imagine that everyone who wanders in with an interpersonal question will understand that scope...it seems to me that that will just lead to quicker and more consistent flagging, not less flagging.
 
There are questions that look like they shouldn't be controversial at all but attract all sorts of attention... and then there are questions that look like they'll cause all hell to break loose but don't... we can't make assumptions at this point.
@TheTinyMan That's not unique to IPS, though. Every site has to deal with that. Part of why we have high reputation users is that we trust them to teach new users what is within scope.
 
@Catija But IPS is a field that lends itself less to "this is right, and this is wrong, and this is an opinion piece" than most fields, doesn't it? With our current culture of expecting...I'm struggling to express this next bit...
 
We don't want zero flagging, we want consistent flagging, closing, editing, voting... otherwise it's confusing... and flag handling, too... on the part of the moderator teams. @Tinkeringbell has already run afoul of that to some degree, so we need to be sure that we're getting the guidance from you all as to how we should react.
 
8:47 PM
Expecting our answers to be objective and not opinion-based, I guess.
That's true, did I misunderstand the concern that @HDE226868 and @Tinkeringbell were discussing? I thought it was about quantity of flagging.
 
Flags aren't the issue. The amount of flag-able content is the issue.
 
I think @TheSnarkKnight had a good point with his meta post about explaining how...

Like, I can tell you to address a certain behaviour by saying so and so, or by focusing on telling them X and not Y....

But if I don't explain the underlying mechanics, am I teaching an IPS or am I teaching you to parrot behavior, am I just giving an acting class?
 
@HDE226868 Right, that's what I meant to say - I mis-spoke. Thank you for the correction. :-)
 
We have the "Back it up" rule because that's the only way we can judge whether subjective content is good or not. If someone has thought through their answer enough to explain why it will work, that's usually a good sign that it's a good solution and, if their explanation is faulty, we can ask for clarification. When someone doesn't explain their answer, for all we know, they're pulling it out of their ass.
 
@TheTinyMan Okay, good. I was just making sure you knew what I'd meant; I don't mean to be pedantic.
 
8:49 PM
@HDE226868 Not at all, I appreciate the clarity. :-)
 
You're absolutely right... Then again, some things boil down to the same rules every time.

I was thinking of doing some research on that extent this weekend, and try to answer @TheSnarkKnight's meta of today and maybe even make a meta of my own as well...
 
Considering that, what do you think of this answer: interpersonal.stackexchange.com/a/7634/36
 
@Catija That's definitely only putting words in the OP's mouth and not explaining in any way the underlying principles...
I voted an left a comment.

Which is also partially a problem I'm struggling with. I'm usually on the 'newest' question tab, not the 'active' one --> because that one shows a notification even if something is edited...

But that does mean I miss posts in 'first posts' queue, and I'm not nearly seeing every answer, only the new questions.

I sometimes keep an eye on the ones that I think are particularly susceptible to 'put words in my mouth' or 'lifehack' answers, but somehow I think too many still slip through...
 
@Tinkeringbell Have you tried "questions > active"?
 
@Catija Yeah, that's the one I don't visit all that regularly because it shows notifications for edits as well...
 
9:01 PM
Front page is different than that page, though... just a note. The front page has a finite number of posts that page has all the posts.
 
@Catija I'll try to keep an eye on that one then...
 
It's up to you :D I personally just use the main page but I also largely focus on the mod flags. When I see new questions pop in I'll review them but mostly I try to let you all do things and only step in when necessary.
 
@Catija Yeah, thanks for that :P No, I'm trying. I hope more people will soon. I think I'm seeing some new regular commenters rising here lately, hope they continue as well
 
@Catija life of a mod, eh?
 
@Magisch I just realized last night that it's been nearly a month since I've posted on main.
My rep has been dropping because of downvotes.
 
9:09 PM
But still... I'm wondering how many Interpersonal Skills we can actually teach people... I think it boils down to a toolset and us telling people 'to change a tire, you'll need X and Y'.... to fix a flat tire, you can use X, Y or Z'... I think once we get answers to really focus on the underlying principles, we'll find that we might need to close a lot more questions as 'duplicate of'..
. --> For example, all the ones about asserting boundaries could be heaped .... Or is the underlying principle of asserting boundaries different each time/situation?
 
SE has a founding principle... you close vote only based on questions, never the answers. Answers should always take the question into direct account.
 
@Tinkeringbell I think it's half knowing what skill to apply, and half how to do it in a specific situation. The second part isn't always obvious even if the first one is. So even if we have, say, ten questions about asserting boundaries, the answers to one could be entirely inapplicable to another.
 
This is exactly why we need questions to be clear, detailed, and specific. There may be caveats in the IPS rules depending on these things... we don't answer broad general questions because they're not going to be able to address those caveats without requiring long answers.
I'm sort of peeved by the pushback on adding location information into posts we've received, including having users specifically say "I want answers for all different cultures"... we really can't do that. We need to answer specific questions for specific situations. Otherwise, they're "What do you do in your culture in situation X?" That's a poll.
 
@Catija What pushback has been received, and against what action exactly?
 
Hmmm... I'm just remembering my classes... where everything was made to be as broadly applicable as possible... They had us act out 2 completely different scenes, just to show that the skills we were learning were perfectly applicable in both situations...

Of course there's some merit in recognizing which situation you're in and thus which skillset to pick... there's different tools for changing tires on a car and a bike...
Then, I think I might just propose a 'add location information whenever possible' as a guideline to the help-center meta post...

Btw, I've said it yesterday and I'll say it again: This one is pretty important for our scope I think, but isn't getting very much attention: https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/questions/2207/is-how-to-write-off-topic-on-ips
 
9:19 PM
@TheTinyMan We had some users who were proactive about requesting location data and they were harassed about it at times, being told not to close vote questions that lacked the information... etc...
 
@TheTinyMan I think I remember those comments... This one for example? interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/7193/…
@Catija, please correct me if I picked a wrong example
@Catija Is it okay to pick a location from a users profile, leave a comment stating that you've added that, ask to correct if that's wrong, and refrain from voting?
Or are we really expecting people to provide that stuff themselves?
 
@Tinkeringbell Sure. That's an example of the second part...
@Tinkeringbell I'm fine with that, and with taking the information from other posts they may have already added it on.
Probably a good idea to include that in the edit note.
@Tinkeringbell There are too many versions of that question and it's getting confusing.
 
@Catija Oh duh, that does sound better than using a comment
 
7
Q: Let's close questions asking how to word/phrase something

CatijaI've posted two different answers here now with this recommendation and both of them have a lot of upvotes. To repeat: I'd like to introduce a rule that I think we should consider. We are not here to be copy editors. We are not here to redraft emails, write speeches, tell you what to say. We'...

I'm not quite sure I understand the difference between Vylix's question and mine?
 
@Catija So the pushback came from users, not from, uh, SE higher-ups as it were?
 
9:23 PM
@TheTinyMan No. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I've seen Robert specifically agree with this.
 
@Catija Hmmm... I think that one's different in that yours is asking about questions that are asking for words to say (like the 'Why are you single' question).... Vylix is IMO talking about questions asking about the guidelines of writing something being on or off topic
 
@Catija Oh, good, okay. :-) Thank you for the clarifications.
 
> We're here to help people determine for themselves the best way to phrase something;
@Catija, does that include providing people with guidelines on 'how to write a formal email'?
I think this comment is precious too:
This could be a question asked in Writers, however this can be very borderline. Often, these "how to write" questions end up with them wanting us to write an example of one for them instead of learning the technical aspects of what makes one stand out from another. They usually get edited from being "how to write an email to my boss" to "what are methods I can use to write a formal message to my boss to request a promotion". — ggiaquin 2 days ago
 
@Tinkeringbell There are specific etiquette formatting rules for that, so that should be fine... but all that we would be proscribing would be an explanation of how to write a greeting and sign off... it's more obvious in snail mail formal letter writing.
But we could definitely get questions about "How do I address a wedding invitation to my aunt and uncle. They have different last names and she is a "doctor".
 
@Catija That's a bit different than those canada user type questions though...
And not all of those were getting closed lately...
 
9:28 PM
@Tinkeringbell Canada wanted us to redraft the content of his emails for him... we can't do that. We can give the skills for how to write what he wants to say and give an example of a phrasing that will work but we should not just take his text, edit it for him and post that as an answer with no explanation of why it's better.
I'm a wee bit confused since you have an answer here saying the exact opposite. I fully support editing questions so that they ask for guidance, not for specific editing of an existing email or planned dialogue and I absolutely think that the most important thing is to explain why the solution works. For example, I feel this answer fails that completely and I have commented as such. — Catija ♦ 2 hours ago
@Tinkeringbell Maybe I need to re-read that question then... I don't think I understand what it's asking at all.
 
It's not easy to read, that meta. (I even think the title and body might be not matching). But, as I read it, Vylix is asking us whether or not we can/should edit questions asking us to phrase things into questions asking for guidelines...

I'm not a big fan, but apparently other people are. I think the guidelines will very often be the same, but maybe I'm abstracting it too much.
 
We should always edit questions if we can make them on topic... but unedited questions are not on topic because they could be edited.
If the question is asking how can I redraft my email [here] to politely request X?" I don't see a reason not to edit the question to say "I'm trying to write an email and this is the draft I have but I think it's too harsh. If I want to make my reply polite, what should I keep in mind while drafting or reviewing my email before I send it?"
 
@Catija That's actually a pretty good example to answer @Vylix's question ;)
 
In this case ^^ we're not asking for writing advice, really, we're asking for help with how to be polite in written communication. And that's fine (I think). Resume-writing help doesn't seem to have an IPS element, though, for example, but a cover letter would because you're addressing it to someone specific.
But, again, "How do I format a cover letter" is not IPS and it's answered all over the internet.
Though, you could argue "How do I address a cover letter to an unknown person" is probably good.
@Tinkeringbell Feel free to steal it.
I think that your answer and my messages here aren't in disagreement... it's about the focus of the question, though... if the focus relates to IPS, then we're OK with it. If the focus is general formatting or knowledge and doesn't really link into IPS, then it's probably not a good fit.
So, you could easily edit your existing answer to cover this caveat.
 
9:47 PM
@Catija I've saved a permalink ;) I'll be editing my answer there a little more with this in mind tomorrow.
Right now, you've kept me up for almost an hour past my regular bedtime :P I just finished another meta answer, and I'd very much like to go to sleep ;)
 
Sorry! Night!
 
@Catija Hahaha, I did it myself too... I'm lacking bedtime discipline lately, with 2 weeks of vacation approaching ;)
Okay... I'm gonna close this browser tab NOW... :D
 
@Tinkeringbell Heh... I was up until 2 last night for no better reason than "I really want to finish this book I've already read a dozen times".
 
@Catija I forgot to close the other window :/ That happens to me too, a lot!
Or... I'm just going to finish this ball of yarn, and then I'm off to bed...
4 hours later...
Hmmm... I think I should just go.
 
I'm just going to finish this row...
three rows later.
 
9:51 PM
I think @Tinkeringbell has a good point with "changing the flat tire" analogy. If someone asks "My tire is flat, and I need to change the tire, what should I do" then "change the tire" isn't useful in telling them how
Whereas, saying "get the jack out of the trunk, loosen the lug nuts with the tire iron, then jack the car up, remove the lugnuts... et cet." IS helpful
that's the point I've been trying to make. We are getting to many "change the tire" responses, followed by arguments over what tire is most puncture resistant and then debates on road conditions.
 
I may be taking the metaphor too far but picking a tire to put on there instead may be relevant there?
 
@TheTinyMan that's why I said etc ;)
 
Yeah :-)
 
The problem is frustrating because it is not coming out of malice but from a genuine desire of people wanting to help.
 
10:19 PM
@TheSnarkKnight Occasionally we get "I put square tires on my car, but they don't roll very well, what should I do?"
 
@apaul "How do I make these square tires compete with this race car's tires?"
 
In that case recommending the tradition round tire can be "helpful"
@TheTinyMan Used to see those all the time on Stack Overflow...
 
10:35 PM
@apaul Yeah :-p
 
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