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12:01 AM
I didn't leave
You tried
The nice thing about a referral bonus is that it lets you get a negative score on the site
I'm working on an answer for that question, but it's kind of slow going because I'm looking to find some sources
Our challenging new user of the day has a rep of -12 at the time of this posting
@spiralsucculent It breaks my heart to see that
I think the recent agressive flagging is going to get this stack in shape quickly
12:09 AM
@RichardU what breaks my heart is that they should have -22, but they got an upvote somewhere
@spiralsucculent It was on the giant wall of text, somewhere around the first edit
@spiralsucculent the USAF has a term "Black Ace", as a term for a pilot that has lost seven of his own planes. We should have a special badge for someone going down to negative.
so are we VTC'ing this girl staying over Q?
The cost of 7 downed planes. . .
@spiralsucculent It should be closed.
12:12 AM
just to get it cleared up befor eit attracts more crap?
@spiralsucculent I'm not. I think it's clearly on topic.
I especially like the edit Catija did on it
@Rainbacon I disagree. It's basically "How can I get a piece of...."
@RichardU No, that's just how everyone is answering it.
> how can I know if she is up to more than just hanging out
@Rainbacon are we psychic now?
Learning how to read people is a pretty important interpersonal skill...
You won't always be right but there's a huge gulf between "this is entirely platonic" and "she's jumping in my lap".
12:16 AM
We don't have to know if she wants to have sex with him or not. We can still help him learn how to figure that out for himself.
@Catija and a rape charge if you guess wrong.
@RichardU If you get to a rape charge, you clearly didn't listen to the actual "no, stop" words coming out of her mouth.
Stop looking at it in black and white..
@Catija I'm Autistic. it is literally impossible for me to not see things in black and white.
The fact that he's even asking the question shows that that particular outcome is very unlikely.
@Catija and what happens if someone gives bad advice and he takes it?
12:19 AM
We can't control that.
We can't close every question just because someone might post a terrible answer
Every single question here comes with that risk.
(and if that's your argument we gotta close a lot of IPS)
That's why we vote.
@Ash We are not psychiatrists, and even FBI profilers cannot read people to that degree
If a question says, "give it to her anyway, she'll like it eventually" and it doesn't get downvoted or deleted, I would be extremely upset.
12:20 AM
@Catija now who's speaking in black and white terms
@RichardU Reading people is not an impossible skill.
I'm also autistic, and I can typically tell whether or not a woman is interested in me
@Rainbacon Reading people to that degree and in that situation is.
@Rainbacon You're one step past me then.
Also, this is about a specific situation, not on how to tell if a person is interested in you.
Yes, it is about a specific situation in which he wants to figure out if she is interested in him
It's not, actually. He's not asked "is she into me"... he's asked "how can I tell whether she's interested in me enough to consider sex?"
While he asked about the specific situation of her staying at his place, there is a very general skill of "how can I tell if a woman is interested in sex"
12:25 AM
@Catija How about if someone is asking "Is this person angry enough to kill me?" Should a quesetion like that stand?
@RichardU Of course not. That's asking us to judge.
@RichardU Um... no?
Not at all.
@RichardU Not really
Only the consequences are different.
12:26 AM
He didn't ask us to tell him if she's interested
Your example is the equivalent of "is she into me". The equivalent is "How can I tell if someone's angry enough to kill me"
Okay, Then "How can I tell if this guy I've asked over is angry enough to kill me?"
willing to bet someone's life on that?
:sigh: If that ever happens, we'll deal with it then. I really don't see the equivalence to this situation. No one's life is in danger here...
I wouldn't answer that question, but only because I have no relevant experience in determining if someone wants to kill me.
@RichardU Giving advice != taking responsibility for how that advice is used/not used
We don't assume any responsibility for the outcomes of real IPS situations
12:29 AM
@spiralsucculent So, if on another stack, someone asks how to build a bomb, it shoud stand?
as long as it was on topic
Would you delete a question on stack overflow just because if the code was used wrong it could lead to a massive data breach?
@Rainbacon If someone asked how to hack into a pacemaker (which can be done) yes.
12:32 AM
@RichardU we obviously have differing opinions on how information should be controlled
@spiralsucculent you wouldn't want me to publish how to troll SE, for example, and I won't
Q: How to win a debate or argument without offending the opponent?

aksHow to win a debate or argument without offending the opponent ?

Oh no
@RichardU I'd love to debate at length with you about why freely available information is superior to morality laws
but first lets VTC this question
@spiralsucculent It's a good time for you to put on your moderation pants and help guide our new user to proper use of IPS
Why does that question have an upvote?
12:37 AM
immediately pulled an upvote...
No, we can handle this without mods
please ban whoever just upvoted that
If we run to mom and dad every time bad content comes through the site will fail miserably
I was making a joke
that somebody with the power to do so should ban whoever upvoted that question
it has 2 upvotes
Only CMs can see votes on posts.
And even then, I think it's limited.
12:45 AM
@RichardU and I were talking about how meaningless downvotes wrt rep yesterday
this aks guy makes me wish downvotes hurt more
@spiralsucculent Here's a relevant discussion on the matter meta.stackexchange.com/questions/7322/…
Viewing their SO profile, they have a net 0 (because I don't think it goes negative) score for all their top tags, but still have 1.7k rep because they asked some acceptable questions 8 years ago
@spiralsucculent I never posted for rep, so i never much cared. In fact, the less thought i gave to rep the higher my posts were rated
@RichardU Rep shouldn't be a motivator, though for some it is and that fine
but rep is reputation and indicates how much good a person has contributed to the site
yeah, but that not my point
Rain's meta link is exactly what I'm talking about
people like aks can join a new site and receive 10+ downvotes and 3 upvotes for their contributions
and the system indicates that they have contributed a net positive to the site
which is hogwash
Q: How to tell a roommate's friend that they need to leave?

AuroraFor some context - this is my first semester in college where I'm having a roommate, and there have been several complications. It's off-campus housing and we don't attend the same university. My roommate has lots of friends and is more or less a party animal (frequently arrives in the room lat...

12:54 AM
who the heck is voting on these questions?
@spiralsucculent yeah, but just one Rude and abusive flag will give you a minus 100
@RichardU what I'm saying is that the rest of the system should be similarly punishing
@RichardU You can post a lot of bad content without getting any R/A flags though
but seriously, what's going on? aks question gets upvotes, but this question gets a downvote?
@Rainbacon yeah, but then that tends to attract mods
12:55 AM
@RichardU please don't use that term.
@Catija what term?
Q: It’s time to retire the term “rep-whore”

JaydlesGoing forward, “rep-whore” (and its derivatives) will be treated like any other term that’s inconsistent with the community’s “be nice” policy: it will be removed. It’s totally okay if you’ve used it in the past. Nobody’s judging the many users who’ve used it. And users will NOT start being s...

What should I call it then?
What newspeak is acceptable
Read the post.
So {censored} is a thing.
Apparently, it is a bad thing to call a garden instrument a garden instrument
1:01 AM
@RichardU Not really. The issue is not the word itself, so much as the way it is being used.
@Rainbacon of course when someone is {censored} for {censored} we won't mention it.
Censoring is when opposing views are stifled simply for being opposing. The terms in question aren't being blocked because they offer an opposing view, but rather because they are in violation of the be nice policy. Though it seems that this conversation is likely going nowhere, so I won't carry it further.
1:28 AM
I think I'm going to stop coming onto IPS during my workday and instead contribute in the evenings
I came to the same decision last night @spiralsucculent .... and yet here I am
I got no work done today because I'm really bad at pulling myself away from something (this site) that I find so engaging and worth my effort
What are your work hours in UTC Jesse?
11am-9pm weekdays UTC
My work hours are ~1700-0300 UTC, if you see me on this chat during that time, please tell me to log off
i will likely forget the conversions.. but sure, if it comes up ill say something
2 hours later…
3:50 AM
> What did the dentist said to the Sabretooth tiger? You have outstanding teeth.
4:02 AM
nice @AJ
I finally stopped getting rep-capped :(
time to post a question!
Huh, I didn't know you could post answers to questions that were on hold
@Rainbacon where did that happen?
that person could have possibly deleted and then undeleted ... for a question that was subsequently closed ...
hmm ...
Oo your answer ...
I had been typing up my answer for a few hours in between games of League. When I hit submit, it posted the answer and updated the page to show the on hold message
4:13 AM
interesting ...
I see ...
ah, perhaps it accounts for your having started on the answer already?
and thus it made it before the close ...
interesting ...
seems nicely written ... lemme read now :)
Personally I don't think the question should have been closed (hence writing an answer), and I may ask a meta question about it in the morning.
I see ...
@Rainbacon yeah, it seems like an important consent question ...
I would certainly welcome this question and any good answers for it ...
I was kind of surprised it got closed
It seems like one of the more on-topic questions I've seen lately
4:19 AM
yeah, I'm interested in the close reasons, though none were given in the comments ...
Though it did get closed as too braod
I see ...
nice to see that the wedding dance question got reopened ...
^ that's a tough one to answer ...
@Rainbacon on mobile? The answer prohibition is user-side, not server-side, so if you're already drafting the answer, there are certain cases that will allow you to submit it even after the post is closed for a specific period of time. meta.stackexchange.com/questions/91922/…
I would say that there's no way to not offend her by not dancing at her wedding ...
If the bride remembers that you weren't dancing at her wedding, there were bigger problems with the wedding than you not dancing.
4:24 AM
Oo ... I see ...
I think it's pretty much a non-issue.
I see ...
4:44 AM
@Catija It was on desktop
I see that there's a 4 hour grace period for when the client side fails to block you
Yeah, but that's pretty uncommon on the full site... hmmm... but not impossible.
@Rainbacon because you started it before it was on hold. :)
5:21 AM
@Rainbacon In practice it does allow bypassing if you know how to edit page source code, iirc.
2 hours later…
7:40 AM
@Catija There are people who are hawks about their wedding and want everything to be just perfect
@RichardU This is the same dynamic as not using other slurs
You can describe the behavior, but you must be civil and nice while doing it. We don't allow you to call people other names either, but you can point out problematic behavior
2 hours later…
9:47 AM
Q: Search for an Appropriate Gift

schrodinger_16So, my high school best friend from a year ago suddenly comes back in my life, we hadn't been talking lately (this was fueled a little fight, or a misunderstanding) but now we are, more than in the past few months. We were in the same school last year, but, due to life we changed schools and it'...

2 hours later…
12:07 PM
Q: How to avoid looking/sounding unfriendly when I don't speak the same language as everyone at work?

RoseBackground I moved to Denmark a bit more than a year ago - from a Western Europe country. I originally did not plan on staying there more than 6 months. For that reason, I did not start learning the language right away. I started learning the language less than 6 months ago. I am really willing ...

@Magisch Sure... that doesn't mean they end up caring or noticing the day of.
12:35 PM
Q: Everybody understands the answer - but moderators complain - why?

EdgarToday I answered this questions: How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation? Until now, 9 hours later, 28 people up-voted my answer. This tells me that at least 28 people understand it and like this answer. But now some users with high reputation tell me in the comments ...

24 messages moved to trash
@RichardU beef?
1:04 PM
Q: Is it ok to hold the doors for ladies to bars/pubs?

user16021In my country of origin, Hungary, men should enter pubs and bars before their female companion, as opposed to holding the door for them. This is due to the assumption that pubs and bars can be dangerous and it would be unpolite to let the lady enter first. I was looking at etiquette rules in othe...

1 hour later…
2:31 PM
Q: How can I stop comparing myself to others?

sibly22I think we can all agree about the fact that ego and comparing yourself to others are very well related. The other day I was talking about this topic with a friend of mine, who studies psychology at university, and he came out with this belief: ego has a good side, that inspires you to become a ...

2:56 PM
rep capped from a single answer :)
3:42 PM
can we ban the word "problematic"?
4:07 PM
@RichardU why?
@Sid It's usually used as an insult, and a condescending one at that. " Um, yeah, this post is 'problematic'". Plus, it's just a weasel word. It doesn't mean anything.
@Sid need proof? If someone says that something is "problematic" what does that mean?
@RichardU Point taken.
Although to be fair, we do use "problematic" in debates.
When we don't want to be too soft about the problem and when we don't want to go overboard with our condemnation of something
4:32 PM
@Sid I think we need to be proactive rather than reactive because at the end of the day if we move the goalposts back we can monetize our assets and achieve an paradigm shift that will create a progressive synergy.
Just a string of buzzwords ^^^^
@RichardU achieve a paradigm shift.
But, seriously, what?
@Sid oh goodness, I really am off today, aren't I?
@RichardU [kicks Richard for 2 minutes for completing my BINGO card]
@RoryAlsop when I was a project manager, one of the fellows reporting to me started talking like that because everyone had been talking to him like that. I told him that I speak English and he didn't need to use Buzzword BS with me.
@RichardU I really dislike buzzwords - and I get seriously annoyed with myself when I catch myself accidentally doing it...
4:46 PM
What is this comment bot?
I also hate buzzwords
But they have given me a new favorite vocabulary word: bloviate
Exasperating farrago of buzzwords is what leads to frustration and sheer rage.
5:37 PM
@Sid it's here for blood.
@NVZ that sounds awfully creepy to me
@NVZ You are in error citizen, no one is screaming. Thank you for your coorperation
Haha. Had to Google to get that reference. @RichardU
2 hours later…
7:38 PM
Good luck @Mithrandir24601 - we can confuse people even more if we're both blue :P
8:11 PM
@Mithrandir Thanks! :D That would be sooo much fun :D
@Mithrandir24601 are you running for election somewhere?
@Rainbacon I'm running for pro-tem mod on quantum computing SE :)
Ah, good luck!
@Rainbacon Thanks! :)
8:39 PM
1 hour later…
9:43 PM
1 hour later…
11:03 PM
yaay, I rep capped on my Roommate boundary answer!
first ever rep cap, so the magic is still fresh
ty HNQ picking up a good question
okay, back to work, not breaking my vow one day in
11:39 PM
[pomodoro break]

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