The Bridge

Any Kid Would Be Lucky To Have These Text-Savvy Parents. They’re Hilarious.

Why are any of these "text-savvy"

@TimStone I kinda want one >_>

TheAce

hola

@TimStone What a waste of resources.

@Wipqozn You're a waste of resources.

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Jason Berkan has added Wipqozn to the list of this room's owners.

1:08 PM

@OrigamiRobot Thanks

I think it's neat

@OrigamiRobot Me too, but just seems like a waste of the earths resources.

Tim Stone

It's an investment. One day they'll need aerospace grade tungsten for some fancy application and they'll call on all the people using these as paperweights on their desk.

I think I'm on a SAVE THE EARTH kick in this precise moment.

Tim Stone

...My god, what horrible thing did you do as mayor this time?

1:09 PM

@OrigamiRobot "Vulgar" == "tech-savvy".

@TimStone Nothing!

@Wipqozn Have you heard of Kumiko?

My current city is going quite well, last I checked.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter is a 2014 American drama film co-written and directed by David Zellner. The film stars Rinko Kikuchi, Nobuyuki Katsube, Shirley Venard, David Zellner, Nathan Zellner, and Kanako Higashi. The story is based around the urban legend surrounding the death of Takako Konishi. It was reported in the media that she had died trying to find the treasure depicted in the 1996 film Fargo. In actuality, she committed suicide. == §Plot == In the massive city of Tokyo, Kumiko lives in utter solitude. A struggling twenty-something, she works a dreadful, dead-end job under an awful boss...

@Yuuki I don't think so

1:10 PM

@Wipqozn With all the gold/silver jewelry out there, I'd give this a pass.

> Tungsten is considered to be a conflict mineral due to the unethical mining practices observed in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.

If you want to be grumpy about tungsten use, use that

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@Yuuki sense of humour = tech-savvy

@OrigamiRobot Go on. Blame Belgium for that one. You'd be probably right in doing so.

@No.7892142 For certain values of "humor"

@Arperum Man, f--k Europe.

1:14 PM

Also, blah blah blah extra u's

@Yuuki Belgium did some pretty horrific things to Congo. Like first-class mass-murder.

@TimStone I want one

I don't know why but I do

@fredley This. It's an actual waste of resources, but I want one.

@Yuuki funk?

@Arperum I don't know. I imagine there's probably a lot of tungsten floating around right now with the phasing out of incandescent lightbulbs.

I mean, I'm not going to buy one. But I really really want to

I know that if I did, and it arrived, the 5 minutes of novelty would not be worth £25.

1:18 PM

@Yuuki An estimated death count from 3 million to 30 million.

@OrigamiRobot I'll be grumpy about everything!

@Yuuki Pretty sure that even though the British empire was the biggest and as a result had more atrocities over all, our atrocities per capita were a lot lower than other countries.

And that estimate is just from the 20 years Leopold II (one of our long dead kings) had Congo as a private property. After that it was annexed by the Belgian State, and some more horror happened, although way less horrible then under Leopold II.

That guy literally halved the population of Congo.

@Arperum We were more keen on taxes than death

@fredley He just exploited them to death.

1:24 PM

@Arperum Yeah, and dead people don't pay taxes. Lose lose.

@fredley But they also don't rebel against you exploiting them.

And if you murder half the town for no reason, pretty high chance that the other half isn't going to openly protest you.

@Arperum Openly, no.

In private, though, you can bet that any person loyal to you won't stay alive very long.

Also, good morning, Bridge.

Meanwhile

@Frank As if he cared. If you in an added thing can sell a large part of the death as dieing to some illness... (That you might've helped spread faster/more/whatever)

So, I return to work after a week, having warned my superiors that we need to push the new version of our application out to UAT and Production sometime during the week I'm gone because our old code signing certificate expires on March 15.

1:29 PM

@fredley I have no clue how to translate these weights to whatever that other dude is trying to sell.

@Powerlord And they didn't!

@Arperum Cubes of tungsten.

Go to Production's main page today...

> build date Jul 30, 2014 16:02:54 EDT

The amazon ones are 1/4" a side

Honestly, it might be more of a surprise if they did.

1:30 PM

So, whenever one of our map editors tries to edit the map, they now get a nice error message instead.

@fredley So far. But how much bigger are the ones sold through KS? ANd how much purer are they?

@Arperum 1/2", and no idea

wtf was the point in having us get the new code signing certificate a month in advance if only Dev HAS code signed with it?

Q: Why does Java keep shutting down Minecraft

0

Okay, so lately I've been making countless attempts to play Minecraft, but unfortunately Java doesn't want to cooperate. The launcher works just fine, and I can get to the title screen, but whenever I try to play on a world whether it's singleplayer or multiplayer, it freezes, then a tab opens up...

minecraft

> Geometrically perfect

Nope

No, it's not

1:36 PM

It is made out of atoms: It is not geometrically perfect

Exactly

Pi and the size of the Universe - Numberphile

See also:

►

waitbutwhy.com/2014/11/1000000-grahams-number.html

This is a nice read.

@SaintWacko I am geometrically perfect

@OrigamiRobot So you're not made out of atoms?

1:45 PM

Boo for credit card fraud

@Sterno You got frauded on?

@KevinvanderVelden I am made of joy and love and a feeling of security

And yes, if that wording didn't exist yet: it does now.

@Arperum No, he's trying to scare it away.

Boo!

Like a ghost

@OrigamiRobot adorable :o

1:47 PM

They tried making me out of adorable at first, but I just melted into a puddle.

@Arperum yeah

@Sterno Bleh.

They caught it early so I didn't lose any money, but it's a hassle of getting a new card, updating all the bill pay stuff, etc

Someone out there deserves a nut punch.

Scientists report in new study that there is too much science going on and too many studies being published.

@LessPop_MoreFizz Thought for sure that would be clickhole

1:49 PM

@Sterno you wouldn't have lost any money no matter what.

Maximum you are legally liable for is 50 bucks, and credit card companies generally are not interested in losing a customer/getting into arguments over 50 bucks, so they generally just waive it.

@LessPop_MoreFizz Then perhaps more accurately, it's less of a hassle to contest charges than it would have been

@Sterno usually, they just make note of the moment of fraud, and waive all charges after it (or from geographic locations that don't match or whatever.) It's generally an nbd.

Point is though. this is what you get for shopping at target.

@Sterno I read other Internet Websites Sometimes! Sometimes they even publish real, actual journalism! With, like, facts and sources and stuff.

@LessPop_MoreFizz Well, sure, but that headline

Speaking of real actual journalism, did anyone see The Jinx last night? Because HOLY SHIT OMG

@Sterno Yikes. If you are in the business of nutpunching. Punch cancer a couple times too. It took my godfather yesterday :(

1:52 PM

@Arperum Can do!

@Arperum :( Fuck Cancer.

@LessPop_MoreFizz Indeed. That's the second cancer death in my family in 2.5 years or something.

1 min ago, by LessPop_MoreFizz

@Arperum :( Fuck Cancer.

And as an extra fuck you, cancer decided that taking my godfather away a week before my birthday was a great plan.

The other case was my uncle who died on, or the day before his only child's birthday...

A month ago, nothing was wrong, only a couhg that didn't go away,he ended up in the hospital for it, one week later: "it's lungcancer, and also bonecancer, and pretty agressive." Three weeks later: dead.

@Arperum That's pretty scary

:(

1:59 PM

@fredley Indeed. I had the plan of colouring my hair blue this summer, I'm doing it ASAP after the burial. Final deadline for that plan is next monday.

I haven't been pointed at my mortality this much in forever.

This is actually going to speed up some other plans I had too.

@Arperum My grandmother was bitten by a brown recluse and because of her leukemia, she struggled with it for weeks. She seemed to have gotten better, but quickly and suddenly died a few weeks after I was in a major car crash.

@LessPop_MoreFizz Until October rolls around and credit card companies in North America implement new rules for non-chip cards.

As if a loved one dying didn't make you feel powerless enough, I couldn't even walk without assistance.

And by "implement new rules" I mean "refuse to cover fraud on non-chip cards"

@Arperum Losing a loved one sucks. Fuck cancer.

2:07 PM

@MBraedley I lost a close friend to brain cancer when we were 11. Too young to really understand it all.

@fredley I lost one of my grandfathers to brain cancer. I was about that age. I was not a happy camper, as I was able to understand what death was, and scared spitless of it.

While we're at this juncture: go an take a photograph of all your moles. Do it now. Do it with your phone it doesn't matter. Put a reminder in your calendar to do the same thing in a couple of months time and compare. Even if you can't be bothered to come back, you'll have a record of how your moles were today forever.

Not to mention, having someone you loved not know who you were in the last days was scary as all get out.

Each quarter of the lanes from left to right correspond loosely to breast cancer stages one through four (at diagnosis).

Q: Do I gain fame when my pet kills mini-bosses?

0

Do I still gain fame when my pet kills mini-bosses? Even if I didn't do any damage to them?

torchlight

2:11 PM

@Frank I don't recall it making a big impact on me. I don't know. We knew the family very well. His mother worked for my Dad. It was a long time ago though. Maybe I've blotted it out.

@fredley That is goign to be quite the collection, also very NSFW.

I lost my mother to cancer a few years ago. Seeing her slowly waste away was the worst thing in my life.

@Arperum Not very in most cases. (Disclosure, moles are my job).

@5pike :(

I'm just glad that my father was able to keep it together.

@fredley Based on what google told me the translation of "moles" is, very NSFW in my case.

2:14 PM

My grandfather died a few years back, I'm terrified that it didn't affect me at all.

@Arperum You should still check them, and you should still take photos.

Well, not so much "terrified" as "what the hell is wrong with me".

@Yuuki :(

@Yuuki Did you know him well?

@fredley Not right now though, pretty sure the rest of the office wouldn't appreciate that.

@Arperum Or maybe they especially would.

2:16 PM

@fredley Pretty well, I think. Even though he lived in China, he visited fairly often.

@Arperum Fair enough. Set a reminder though. It's a trivially easy thing to do.

And they (him and my grandmother, who's still alive) lived with us for stretches of time.

Usually four to five months every three years or so.

@Yuuki It's odd. Some deaths hit harder than others. I couldn't say what changes it.

Q: Where is my .minecraft folder?

0

I cant find my .minecraft folder anywhere, i already went to %appdata% and roaming, and I also tried doing **%appdata%.minecraft** in run but I dont have it. Can anyone help me ? I play minecraft.

minecraft

My grandfather who died a couple years back didn't affect me as much as this death.

2:19 PM

@fredley I just remember the day that we found out. My mom was crying when she told me and I... didn't feel a thing. I hated that my initial thought was "I need to get started on my math homework".

@Yuuki :(

user15026

feels bad coming into all this sadness Hi! I am happy today because I got my stitches out, but I feel REALLY weird celebrating in the middle of sadness piles :(

@AshleyNunn =[

There, let's cheer everyone up.

Baby owls are the best

2:22 PM

Yesterday LadyWacko and I went to the zoo, and while we were at the grizzly bear habitat, a man with a service dog came up to look at it

After a minute, the bear noticed the dog and came out of his little hidey hole and walked straight up to the glass

@Yuuki "What are you doing human?"

So the bear and the dog were nose to nose on either side of the glass

On a different topic, I was just told to make getting Prod updated my priority.

The dog looked very nervous

2:23 PM

Did you take pictures? :O

Except there's nothing for me to do... the paperwork to move code to UAT and Prod has to be done above my level.

Which is especially impressive seeing as how it was a german shepherd and a service dog

@Powerlord so kick back and relax?

Finally the dog made up its mind and started barking at the bear, and the bear kindof jumped back. Then the man took the dog away from the bear :P

@KevinvanderVelden No, I should have

@SaintWacko aah =[

2:24 PM

It was awesome

A game I suck at

It was a really pretty german shepherd, too

@fredley oh shit this is good

@fredley I can't even get one.

@fredley That's really cool

2:27 PM

@Rapitor I'm doing questions and failing hard

Hmm

2 page paper in less than 90 minutes?

LET'S GO

(goddammit)

Good luck

"barack obama is a ... "

come on now

liar didn't even work

Oooh ooh! "person"?

kenian probably actually

person is also an X

2:28 PM

Muslim, maybe?

president, third X

hero was first

robot was in fact second

was alien in there

no, but cactus and radical communist were

Instructions unclear, please advise.

2:29 PM

and clone, which is close

maps?

@fredley google porn.

Obama is from: hawaii - X

Sports are ... ?

Boring, fun and bad actually were hits.

ha, "for idiots"

I like this game.

2:31 PM

The poor should: word harder - 6,000 points

... word?

i got the poor should as well...

die - 8,000 points

yeah

wtf internet

> Tom Hanks is...

> a lot of animals.

2:32 PM

the poor should "stop whining"

America is the worst

yes.

Ok, my questions was - Tattoos are:

@fredley hah

My 3 tries: Cool, awesome, expensive

The internet does not agree

2:33 PM

@5pike painful

>can I perform my own ...

>surgery not listed

I don't accept that.

"Google are you "

"shitting me"

"gay"

inquiring minds demand to know

2:35 PM

God fucking dammit @fredley NO I HAVE THINGS TO DO

this is why you are the worst

this game is really destroying my faith in humanity, the little bit i had

oh shit

Meh, google autocomplete has always been weird

"why does my arm ..."

got the top two right off the bat, now HELP

autocomplete is based on popular searches

2:35 PM

It's the dumb people that ask the google questions like these

typically

I smell

Also ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DO I HAVE A JOB OFFER AND A MORE INTERESTING OTHER POTENTIAL OFFER THAT I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG (this sounds like the best problem to have but IT IS NOT)

@Unionhawk Ask for more time to decide.

...

I already have!

Twice!

And follow up on the other job, ask them if they've made a decision.

2:38 PM

Ask the other place what's going on I guess?

"kids"?

@fredley Life?

-self ?

boss?

2:38 PM

@Frank Life is #1

cat?

@fredley Thought so.

colleagues?

Google > Search Settings > Never show Instant results > 20 results per page

@fredley Job.

Not boss or kids

job #2

2:39 PM

@Yuuki "Yuuki is a " (#1 CHEATER)

@fredley Family, parents

Don't listen to him he's hacking

HAXOR

goddammit NO GTFO BRIDGE

I think I have

I find it weird that "herpes" is the 3,000 point result to "do all celebrities have..."

2:42 PM

How is that weird

Of all the things that the google suggests, how is that a weird one

0

Q: I need help with some dlc

I'm not sure if I do or do not have the dawnguard dlc a lot people say you have to be on skyrim to see if you do is there way I can find out if I have dawnguard

skyrim

Indeed, what is really weird is that @Unionhawk is still not writing his paper

FUCKING ARG

why hate Argentina for it

@Unionhawk =p

2:43 PM

BY THE WAY I HATE YOU GUYS

I AM HELPING

Except @AshleyNunn

@Unionhawk Hold off on decision until you've heard

wow way to be sexist

@No.7892142 Believe it or not, there are other women besides @AshleyNunn

2:44 PM

@fredley on here as well?

Also @AshleyNunn is pretty much the best so of course he doesn't hate her

@No.7892142 @spugsley is here frequently. Less often these days are @FAE and @kalina.

o

user15026

@KevinvanderVelden Damn straight I am :D

user15026

@Unionhawk <3

user15026

2:47 PM

Besides if anyone hates me I will pout and use the "I just had brain surgery" card (not really, thats a terrible thing to do, don't do the thing)

Most searched number according to that game is pizza hut.

"What is the number for"

"jenny"

@Arperum Is "the police" there?

I could have told you 911-- GODDAMMIT NO

2:50 PM

> 911

GET

OUT

GTFO @UNI

4

GO WRITE THAT PAPER @UNI

THEN YOU CAN WASTE TIME HERE ON THE BRIDGE

@5pike I was disappoint google google wasn't an answer

user15026

@Unionhawk Write the paper, you will feel better :)

Simpsons Homer give the number for 911

►

2:51 PM

WHY ARE CATS ...?

user15026

@Arperum Am really hoping the "what's the number for 911" is people searching for the quote from the Little Rascals movie

@MBraedley simpsons homer?

@KevinvanderVelden Hey, I didn't name the video

@MBraedley I know

@AshleyNunn I'm afraid that won't be the case >_>

2:52 PM

But just as I would reply to lazers if there was a dumb question I replied to you

CATS ARE NOT GOOD. Evil is in the results though.

user15026

I really really wish there was a way to edit PDF's that didn't require paying Adobe more money

user15026

because a) can't afford b) just no

@AshleyNunn Inkscape

Open source free PDF editor.

@AshleyNunn actually I remember reading an article by someone who had a stroke who could not lay that connection. They knew they had to dial 911 but couldn't figure out what the number was

2:53 PM

@KevinvanderVelden But I am not @Lazers. TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN, DAMMIT!

It's not perfect, but it's pretty decent.

user15026

@KevinvanderVelden Yeah, I can see that

So uuh not a big target audience to autocomplete but

user15026

2:54 PM

@Frank You are my favourite person right now because this will make job applications so much easier <3

@AshleyNunn Hey!

@Frank huh, I didn't know it did PDFs

I'm always supposed to be your favorite person!

@MBraedley WHAT? YOU AREN'T A ROBOT? :O

user15026

(Also, having to do job searches WHILE also healing my brain meat is shitty.)

2:54 PM

I am disappointed because I cannot play the obviously fun game everyone else is playing while at work.

@AshleyNunn I don't know if you'll get editable text out

user15026

@fredley I am willing to try anything

@KevinvanderVelden No, you're thinking of @OrigamiRobot

@MBraedley We can arrange for you to play it

You have three guesses

@KevinvanderVelden That's it's primary use.

2:55 PM

@MBraedley I thought everyone was a robot

@MBraedley What does Google autocomplete suggest for "I wish I could"?

@Frank I thought it was for vector stuff..

@Frank not really, it's advertising itself as a vector art tool, i.e. SVG

@fredley fly

"should I pierce my"

2:56 PM

@fredley and on the morbid side: die

@Arperum nipple ?

:D

@KevinvanderVelden ...really? I've always just used it as a PDF editor.

user15026

....okay, dear bran, if we could STOP forgetting random crap that would be excellent

Heck, it has a importer and a separate exporter for PDF, as opposed to just save/edit

@fredley and finally: be invisible

user15026

2:56 PM

because I hate knowing I know something and my brain just can't retrieve it right now

=[

At least you can play the brain surgery card? =p

@5pike Nope, one of my guesses was the other sexual option

@fredley How'd I do?