Yeah, I’ve heard that the UK is the land of Golf R thievery. That seems a bit odd since I thought you’d exported all your scalawags to Australia! 😉😉

@BobCross we clearly missed some :(

a Golf-R owning friend of mine had his house broken into a couple of months back and they nicked the car off the drive.

the kicker was they actually managed to steal his brother's Golf R not his :D

his brother had left his car with my friend to do the brakes on as they were f##ked

Is the frequency of theft due to a flaw in the vehicle or is it just super popular like the Sierras back in the day?

@all This question is well written and the OP is providing as much information as possible. I’d think that we can come up with some suggestions!

@BobCross yeah.. I'm on hazy ground as to specifics unfortunately. I do know the Venzas have form for spitting their dummy out on a jump but the symptoms I'm familiar with are a CEL and a "Check VSC" message

I think the likely cause is that the flat battery and jump has pissed off the electronics (duh!), the zero'd speedometer makes me think it might have killed a sensor

and the obviously erroneous/no reading from the sensor is likely causing a limp mode

which is why it won't accelerate

My first step would be to properly disconnect the battery (to reset/clear anything in the ECU) and give it a good overnight charge on a proper charger, hook it back up and see what it does then

I guess I could throw out an answer on that basis - I think it's unlikely to fully cure everything though, more likely it'll just give a clear field to track down the "real" issue

@BobCross yeah super popular mainly.. that and they get stolen to use as getaway cars - like the Impreza Turbo and Escort Cosworth before them they are relatively easy to drive fast in urban environments without much need for skill or training.

quite a few get stolen for parts as well - both to sell to owners of others as replacement bits or for bolting on to lesser model Golfs

@BobCross well I've put a starter for 10 answer out there

not as complete as I'd like but might be enough to at least move the situation along a bit and narrow it down a bit

^ oh look we've got ourselves a comedien

@BobCross @Pᴀᴜʟsᴛᴇʀ2 Anyone care to send our comedian's effort to the comforting emptiness of the void?

@motosubatsu I've closed it. Do we think it should be deleted completely?

@NickC IMO yes.. the likelihood of it not being a pathetic attempt at humor is negligible

I assume it's school holidays somewhere

Deleted on the grounds of trolling. Trolls can piss off.

@BobCross darn' tootin!

Oh car dealers, you scamps. “VW is no longer doing custom colors!” Really? Because the dealer down the road says that the Spektrum colors are no problem.... 🙄

I totally get that dealers want to shift their current inventory but don’t lie. That’s a bad move.

@BobCross it's also SOP for most dealers

Actually I was just telling the story of the sales dude who sold my wife her first good car. He offered a number in trade for her beater station wagon that was over my line of “accept on the spot before they ask too many questions.” Then he offered a sale price on the new car that was below my line of “accept any offer that’s less than this.” The whole negotiation took about five minutes. 🙂

@BobCross haha.. brilliant, sometimes you just get a win

It’s basically a case of having both parties value their time. Sell me this car with a quickness and then you can go sell another car! 😉

@BobCross - They think by lying about it, it's going to sell one of their current inventory? Yes, bad move.

What salespeople in the automotive industry fail to realize when they do stuff like this is, when you sell a car to someone, you aren't just selling this car ... the idea is to get return customers. If you please people it works for you two fold: 1) they bring other people to you (relatives, friends, etc.); 2) They come back in 3 to 4 years to purchase another car. It's the automotive circle of life.

It seems that the colours offered on most new stuff now are seriously dull anyway. You might get one red and one blue, otherwise it's a choice of half a dozen different shades of white/black/grey/silver

@Pᴀᴜʟsᴛᴇʀ2 they tend to think in the short rather than long term - because they are hoping not to still be working that job in 3 years or whenever you come back to buy another one

@motosubatsu - We had a guy who had been in the business since ... well ... forever. He got a straight 40% commision off of the profit for vehicles he sold. He had his own office. If things were slow, he'd look up people in his little Rolodex, call them up and say, "It's time to buy a car." They'd come down and buy a car. You don't get there by telling people lies. He made bank. Not the kind of job I wanted as a career, but I respected what he'd built.

@Pᴀᴜʟsᴛᴇʀ2 yeah more power to him I say

@NickC heh we were just taking about that here. All the cars in our lot look like rentals. White, grey, white, white, grey....

@Pᴀᴜʟsᴛᴇʀ2 totally. The honest broker strategy works in a lot of places!

@BobCross yeah grey/silver/white are absurdly common here

@BobCross - Absolutley

because they are relatively inoffensive lease companies like that they can shift them on quickly

@motosubatsu I totally understand. It’s still duuuulllll!

@BobCross amen to that

So I already have a BMW 540 E34, and now I've bought a 535i F11, and I have to say (although it was quite a while since I drove the 540), that the V8 is a sweeter engine

by far actually

Now I don't know about reliability, and fuel consumption is almost definitely worse in the older engine (even though the old one is down by 20hp)

But the sound is incomparable. So is also the feeling, the V8 never felt really stressed out, even at top revs. when you push the straight six to the limit it feels more stressed or exhausted

@Markus you've basically hit the nail on the head - the need to do cleverness with ignition, injection and timing is what gives modern large capacity N/A engines that slightly muddled feel compared with old school engines

N/A? it's a turbo (what do I misunderstand?)

N/A is naturally aspirated .. I thought the 535i was.. my mistake

@Markus the bum-dyno is a great liar :)

@Markus lol

I still wounder if I should have had a E55 wagon instead :) but that would have been much older, more expensive to insure and... well I don't know about reliabillity

@Markus yeah and they are very expensive when they go wrong

mmm yes, but still, I expect that that also is true for the bimmer

Well, have a nice weekend.

@Markus - Wasn't it BMW who was (maybe others as well) using the speaker system in the car to "pipe in" the V8 noise to make it sound beefier to the vehicle occupants?

Apparently the fake sound in an i8 is super great! 😉

@BobCross - :o)