Yea I suppose so. The thing is like yesterday the recruiter said ur manage will call you but he didn’t. I understand the business I m just worried about if i made a good choice by saying yes to first offer

@motosubatsu I cannot do WFH coz issue with my wife so I will be hiring a office to work . I need confirmation so I can book a office

What takeaway or advice would you give me knowing my history to stay in the role.?

hiring a working space sounds sensible - you've already identified a potential for stress if you tried to WFH to mitigating that is smart, obviously hold on committing to spending the money until you know when you're starting etc (I'm not seeing anything that suggests it won't happen though)

probably the best advice I can think of is to try and keep calm, you're almost inevitably going to encounter things that stress you out (starting any new job is stressful for anyone and your history is going to make you extra sensitive to this) and there's going to be teething problems getting used to the new environment, the way they work etc

so you need to do whatever you can to not overreact - don't try and think about everything and every possibility, just keep focussing on the next step you need to do. Do that and move on.

pretty soon all those little steps add up and you'll have done loads before you've even realised it

and keep in mind that this doesn't need to be the perfect job, it's a job, and right now that's what you need. You can put up with minor inconveniences, or coworkers who are a bit of a dick - because this isn't forever. This is about you getting what you need for you and your family, which is (hopefully) a couple of years in stable employment

Hey! Been away for a couple of years due to getting a job I actually enjoyed - feeling itchy again now... what did I miss?

Also congrats localhost on the job

Thanks @Gamora

@motosubatsu thanks, I was retrospective about why I lost many jobs, and I had similiar answer to you. I always thought "I m gonna work here forever" obs that was a lie I was feeding myself coz I was looking at my elder bro who had been in one office for 40+ yrs now. started at low-level n now he is PA to the CEO so I guess I wanted to mirror that and think everyone will be happy with u and get along

but the last 3 yrs has taught me , no one can get a long. even ur kids, ur own flesh and blood so why would some random people would, sure there r amazing people out there like yourself and other ppl I chatted here but one cannot say "they r my family" coz even in family one do no see eye to eye

@localhost yeah your brother's situation is not the norm at all - at least not in the last 20 years or so

the longest I've been in any one job is 5-6 years I think, and that's a long time these days

My issue is panic, if I do not get something or understand and I am a developer and X developer can do and I cannot that spin the wholr spirral of sh*t I m not what I was hired to do

During the interview they showed me 10 Javsscript question and I got many of them wrong but they wanted to see if I can understand code line by line

though answers werent much right but I was able to explain what is going on here etc

not many people could pass the first stage i.e. creating a page such as u see for booking in car test drive

I wanna get hold of my panic and thin skin

with office and cut off from family I can do much more. I know. I tried to WFH but it caused more issues in my marriages and me getting frustrated more and more so I m taking the incentive to detach myself to work from office which is paid by my pocket

@localhost panic is the enemy - and I appreciate that it's not always easy to do but the key to it is remembering that 99.9999% of the time in our line of work there's nothing really panic-worthy that is going to happen, hence my first (and IMO most important bit of advice) - breathe. If you feel that panicky feeling start to well up or build inside. Take a moment, step back and just focus on breathing nice and calmly for, like a minute.

A minute won't make any difference in terms of when you complete a bit of work or whatever - but it can make all the difference in terms of how you feel

I should probably point out that I'm totally stealing this advice from what my counsellor at the time taught me about handling/preventing panic attacks - and she was right

by focusing on breathing an a measured fashion you're actually telling your body "there's no danger, stand down from panic stations" and this helps head things off before it gets too frenzied

Thanks . Sorry was gone to tour the office. It’s 400 quid for office. Just enough to get one person in.

Not sure what to do, my sister gonna go for a month so her home is free so is her husband office but I have to move to another city for that

@motosubatsu no contract yet and no equipment and they want to start on Monday

@localhost the fact that they're talking about starting Monday is a very good sign IMO, there's still time this week for them to sort contract and kit. Honestly more often then not with perm roles I've not received an actual contract until after I'd already started.

As for kit, it's also remarkably common for that to be a last minute thing - getting a machine ordered, delivered, set up etc for a new employee is often a complete mess in most companies, one place I worked at the first we (i.e. IT) heard about needing a PC for a new starter would be usually mid-morning on their first day and the person calling would be incredulous that we couldn't just pull one out of thin air :D

it wouldn't hurt though to ask them if there's any ETA on the equipment, if nothing else it shows a certain level of keenness to get stuck in and start work as soon as your employment starts

There ETA aren’t What they are doing what they say . Recruiter called me to ask if I reduced anything so now he will follow up (agency recruiter)

@motosubatsu I think I have anxiety if they coming up and saying “we r withdrawing” like the recruiter sounded he didn’t wasn’t looped in as I was send a contract coz he told me last night the manager will call and contract be with u on Wednesday morning which both didn’t happen