@XanderHenderson Open for deletion, (offending/rude comments from OP are gone); just updating you. I know you can't yet vote to delete it, but it has two delete votes, and I invite someone who can cast the third to consider doing so!
@user21820 This answer has been edited to the point that it is a reasonable answer, though with included meta commentary which should be removed. The question itself, however, is rather opinion based---it asks for the "most elegant" solution.
I removed the meta-commentary and fixed the formatting.