FWIW, I also disagree with your construing an insult from it. It might very well mean "Your actions came across as consistent with NT behavior to me, so I am surprised to hear you identify otherwise". Many people will accept that your self-identity or medical diagnosis trumps the conclusions they were able to draw from their own limited observations. — swbarnes2 1 min ago

I don't think paper towels is the issue, more the $200 and the new vacuum cleaner. Large purchases like that should have been discussed before purchasing. — swbarnes2 1 min ago

It's not an answer to your question (this is so tricky, I'm not sure what advice to give), but a suggestion for an alternative system : use an app like Tricount. It's very easy, it allows you to take pictures of the receipts, you know what you owe people at any time, it's very transparent and should make things easier on everyone. Doesn't solve the issue of the large purchases, but at least you're aware of the state of things quicker. — MlleMei 34 secs ago

what have you already tried? Have you tried the simple "I am saving up for X, could I have a contribution?" — WendyG 1 min ago

@Dennis Thanks. Translated it says: The Finder may request a finder's fee from the recipient. The finder's fee is, from the thing's value up to 500 euros 5%, from value exceeding that 3%, and for animals 3%. If the thing has value only for the recipient, then the finder's reward is to be determined at reasonable discretion. — Nissim Kaufmann 1 min ago

as someone also on the spectrum, saying "give me some basic rules so I can help out rather than be a burden, if I get it wrong, tell me and I'll do it differently" works with most people. — bigbadmouse 1 min ago

You cannot make him do different. Give him some ground rules. Independent isnt something most aspergers do well. — bigbadmouse 1 min ago

@Noon If your cousin says that she is happy with their relationship and her chores, are you prepared to accept that? Or do you want to proceed with a discussion as to why she should be unhappy with the arrangement she currently has? — DaveG 1 min ago

Cats can't understand English... the cat was pissed because a stranger picked it up. Cats aren't dogs. — only_pro 32 secs ago

A phone with all your personal information on it! I would offer reward at the current value of the phone at a minimum. — paulj 7 secs ago

@Johns-305 Correct on many possible reasons for perceived "imbalance". My wife has a lot of work outside the house. I work full time but I'm also happy to do most of the cleaning, snow removal, etc, because I know my wife is flat out with other work. — DaveG 10 secs ago

@EmC I'm so happy OP found this answer helpful and marked it as such even though it apparently does not meet moderator requirements. :) — Johns-305 14 secs ago

I really dislike this line "Bob is really lucky, having such a great wife doing all the chores" to me it sounds like you agree with that is how it should be. I have read enough of your comments/ posts on here to be 80% certain you don't mean it but it is still nagging at the back of my head. — WendyG 1 min ago

You might suggest a threshold above which there needs to be general agreement from the tenants before money is spent. Whether it be $20/item or $50/month or whatever. That can allow people to buy TP, but not buy a truck or vacuum cleaner until after there is a discussion. — thursdaysgeek 9 secs ago

I like the points this answer makes but I would go further. Instead of bringing up the chores at all, just ask how she's doing in general. When I was in an abusive relationship, I was doing all the chores, but that was the least of my problems. — DaveG 33 secs ago

This reads like what you are really seeking is -permission to break up with your supportive girlfriend and seek casual sex instead-. This is not an answerable question because it is entirely up to what you want more or value more, and there is not an objectively correct answer. For what it's worth, seeing people who are hotter than your current partner and passingly fantasizing about them, while not intending to actually act, does not indicate a failing relationship. It's a common, and some would say normal, part of being human. If you come to resent your fidelity that is another matter. — Meg 26 secs ago

I do actually wash my hands before I flush for what it means, I usually flush with a foot or some toilet paper as I really don't like touching the flush handle... — Vality 1 min ago