Morning

@PaulWhite, I thought you made a compelling argument about the spaces vs tabs. So I wrote a crude script to replace every tab in the code fence with 4 spaces (and remove trailing whitespace as well)

@Zikato I knew you’d finally do something useful

After exhausting every other option

It’s always in the last place you look

I've used Regex though

To laugh or to cry

I've enjoyed Hugo's comment

yeah.

> And the second argument is simply bollocks.

the whole article is simply bollocks ;)

rare example of misinformation on the internet

GENERATE_SERIES - Summer interns at it again?

@Zikato did they copy postgres code? ;)

Good artists copy, great artists steal

> THE UNCANNY PERSISTENCE OF RDMBS

Shame when a typo makes it into the H1

Relational Dave Matthews Bands?

@ErikDarling typo?

Shouldn’t it be RDBMS?

RDMBS instead of RDBMS in the article ypercubeᵀᴹ linked earlier.

Nice JAGLE 🤭

@ErikDarling do you mean JEAGL?

That’s the joke, meme man

whoosh

Oh wow I read that several times and still didn't see it

Even with that help

Rare form today

Lack of alcohol I suspect

Have you run out of Paddock already?

Anyone knows the official name of the functions like DB_NAME()? Is there a DMV that exposes the full list, or do I need to use the documentation?

I think I've seen them called metadata functions

Ah yes here

No DMV

Thank you

Probably accessible programmatically via PowersHell/SMO etc.

Honestly I try not to use them and use the DMVs instead

I'll try the SMO; thanks again. I try to avoid them as well because I ran into performance issues in the past

No luck with the SMO, but I'm not well-versed in it.

@ypercubeᵀᴹ the author, Avishai is a Developer Advocate for ScyllaDB , which is a NoSQL product, of course.

Scylla being a Cassandra on the cloud (or fork, whatever).

They have another thing in common, horrible names.

When I first read that fluff piece, I immediately wrote it off as advertorial. And The Register sank slightly in my esteem.

Cassandra was an oracle in anciety, daughter of Priamus, king of Troy. Seemingly good name for a database, but she was famous for predicticting disasters.

(The Register is the owner of The Next Platform, for those who aren't aware.)

Scylla was a monster mentioned in Odyssey, (Iliad-2 we'd name it today). Literraly means bitch (female dog) in modern Greek.

@ypercubeᵀᴹ No one believed her though

@PaulWhite Nope. Not until too late at least!

Reading in their online docs, ScyllaDB have just added secondary indexes in their latest version. hurray!

It'll be a real database in no time

It will never compete with MemeDB

Nothing ever could

Never heard of MemeDB, thanks for the tip

We've been developing it for years

Well, there are multiple products with that name. Which one is yours?

There can be only one

Getting the lawyers on the blower rn

@Zikato MangoDB is my fave. It's so "performant".

neverConsistent

And, no, that's not a typo

Meanwhile China has just closed the Taiwan Strait to civilian air traffic and launched fighters

i never should have quit smoking

You really are the mistake man eh

does that mean they're keeping her?

or keeping her out?

glad i'm european now anyway

Goodness only knows what's happening

CGTN reporting Su-35 fighters crossing the strait toward Taiwan

US fighters also in the air from Japan

politics really is wrestlemania at this point

isn't it

always-has-been.jpg

can we get a tiktok nurse to fact check that

Pelosi has landed

confirmed by insta

Can’t wait for the South Park to episode about this

we won't really know what to think until then

fish sticks

Saber-rattling

Sabres for you, Paul

Gross stupidity

and now China has announced the PLA will conduct exercises in six areas close to the island of Taiwan from August 4 to 7 with live fire drills. What could go wrong.

i'm sure lots of people will be liberated

from being alive

before their time

yeah

these areas

good thing charlie doesn't surf

you're so weird 🤣

i keep hearing that

haven't seen any evidence

probably all stored in MemeDB

Anyway, how's your European trip going?

Aside from your hair, I mean

italy has been okay so far. we head to spain tomorrow.

florence is a very small town to spend a week in

like spending a week in avignon

after the first 3 days you start seeing people you've seen before

It's tiny

But there is so much relatively close

there was an hour wait to get into a museum today

didn't bother

good call

don't need to wait that long to see old boobs in these parts

I bet they didn't even serve drinks & snax in the queue

no, you were left to sweat and swelter with no aid or succor

All the mental images of Italy I had are ruined

It also gets so crowded - Pisa was crowded too. But I very much enjoyed Siena and San Gimignano and Certaldo. And my long walks around Petronagno and Val D'Elsa

I'd still go to Italy one day if the stars align just so I could say I had had proper espresso and pizza

Museums would not be high on the list

No idea why they put the place so far away tho

Seems p inconvenient

@CadeRoux i think you missed your calling not working for frommer's

My wife had a 3 month residential course outside Certaldo, so it was in the middle of nowhere, but I had a good time the weeks I was there visiting.

@PaulWhite you can get that in madison, wisconsin, according to some sources

only at gas stations

and on some buses

We might be Italian citizens in the foreseeable future, so I should really get better acquainted.

anyway, to keep some of my illusions intact, please at least say your wife has been seduced several times already by the local gigolos

@CadeRoux Are you moving to Italy?

@PaulWhite no, but i have bought her two purses from italian designers

I bought my ex a handbag once and it got nicked at Orio al Serio airport.

@ErikDarling have you considered the economics of hiring a local hit man instead?

@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Not planning to. I think this is all for the benefit of travel and emergency.

also why would anyone ever need two purses

Because the first one got nicked?

@PaulWhite same reason you might need two indexes on a table

"emergency" meaning that suddening rights that you enjoyed for many years being stripped by a minority ruling party.

@ErikDarling checks StackOverflow database

@PaulWhite just don't check it for voting rings

yeah honestly the absolute state of dba.se I should suspend you all

and myself too

also that Vernon character

Cole never votes for anyone so he's good

i feel like lately i only ever downvote and flag

which is not a great feeling

v. little to celebrate on here

You asked the last good question IIRC

Chat is always 🔥

Databases were never exciting though

lord i had to go look at what that was

someone is getting revenge

i demand we close the area to civilian air traffic and conduct live fire exercises on their account

I'm ready to escalate irrationally

hey it wasn't me!

wow, that message is almost 5 years old

slow rev eh

imperceptible

110 years ago

i stopped eating coal ages ago

@ypercubeᵀᴹ far out

i woke up to an email this morning insisting that adding TOP to a query adds an implicit sort to the results

i snoozed it for 21 days

ha ha ha

people suck

Lol, I'm relying on it not adding a sort right now to do things in batches.

The weird thing about imposter syndrome is entirely the wrong people drew the wrong conclusions

it seems arrogance was not distributed correctly

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

@Zikato that’s not true. I know I’m stupid. It’s everyone else who suffers delusions.

@ypercubeᵀᴹ Let's take a look at each heading.

"Obsolete Assumption: Databases Need Reliable Storage" yeah floppy disks here we come. The fact that you have EBS or whatever other cloud storage doesn't mean you don't need to commit the data to some sort of storage. If you can't guarantee durability then you don't have data to store in the first place.

"Obsolete Assumption: Your Storage Is Slower Than Your Network" hmm anyone running 40gig in their servers? That's passé these days. Even CPUs struggle to keep up. And you can still cache, you just have to be aware of cache invalidation, as always.

"Obsolete Assumption: RAM Is Scarce" depends what size data you are talking. Terabyte databases are not big these days, and you'd struggle to get many servers that can manage that. "AWS gives you tremendous amounts of RAM for a pittance." Oh so are you paying my bill? They make a killing partly because to get more RAM you need to up the CPU massively.

"relational databases originally assumed they had reliable physical disks attached" no they didn't. HDDs were far more unreliable than modern SSDs or even modern HDDs. The whole point was ensuring you could back it up and get a consistent backup.

"for instance by requiring a caching layer to deliver the speed that could be obtained cheaper and easier with fast local storage" erm local storage is a caching layer. Scale-out is just putting the same data multiple times in multiple places, and every good RDBMS has done a lot of work on that.

I skimmed the article, but it has absolutely nothing to say about the relational model itself.

@Charlieface shouldiblamecaching.com