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1:59 AM
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A: What is a Storage Definition Language (SDL)?

Evan CarrollFrom Fundamentals of Database Systems (7th Edition) 7th Edition (pg 39) In DBMSs where a clear separation is maintained between the conceptual and internal levels, the DDL is used to specify the conceptual schema only. Another language, the storage definition language (SDL), is used to specif...

 
2:46 AM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Thank you
 
3:00 AM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Would lock classes qualify? I've always wondered what they are, and why they're useful/used.
 
> Other Kalifornia only things: you don't have to tell people you gave them AIDS

You don't have to tell people you have any STD. There is nothing special about AIDs one way or another. It's just another STD.

> Using the wrong pronoun for a person will get you fined/jail time

Only if you're their caretaker in a long-term care facility and you do it "willfully and repeatedly". And if you do who cares about you anyway? Seriously, someone says their name is Sue, call them Sue.

> They use more tax money to pay for subsidizes for illegals than citizens
 
 
4 hours later…
6:42 AM
Welcome to The Heap™ - Consultancy. A place where ideas are born and individuals can discuss academic topics.
Good morning everyone.
 
7:08 AM
@Lamak Evan has a long way to go
 
8:01 AM
Morning
 
 
2 hours later…
9:49 AM
@CharlieBrumbaugh Perhaps are you looking for a timestamp column: Automatic Initialization and Updating for TIMESTAMP
@McNets I didn't downvote but that query will not work in mysql.
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ which question?
I see
 
@ypercubeᵀᴹ Ok deleted
Thanks
 
10:39 AM
This customer wants us to do "agile" (or at least their interpretation of it)
Every day is like this, It's noon and I haven't worked on anything yet, all we had were status and priority meetings
Updating tasks, UAT tickets is up next
I haven't seen such a painful process ever
 
Find a nicer place to work.
Or get into sandwiches.
3
Hm that's a thought, I could franchise.
3
 
11:05 AM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft I'd love to know what's happening under the covers with graph processing, and where that's heading. I've a horrible feeling, though, that the answer is "not a lot."
 
 
1 hour later…
12:06 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft Amen to that.
I have seen soooo many sites migrate data warehouse systems off servers with direct-attach storage onto consolidation environments and then wonder why they were so slow.
Worse yet, the storage admins insist that it's a problem with the data warehouse.
Fortunately, the site I'm working with took my advice to use direct-attach flash storage for our shiny new EDW platform.
 
1:05 PM
Hi @Phil. How's life up in the peak district?
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells Not bad. Driving to work yesterday wasn't fun
Much snow
 
The main problem is that 1 council grits to a certain point on the A57, and the other council doesn't grit up to that point, so you end up with 4 miles of snow on the worst (highest) part of the road. Durr
 
'Not my problem' at its finest.
 
1:32 PM
The piece of code I'm looking at either doesn't make sense and works by accident or the guy who wrote it is a genius and I don't how it works
 
I'd say the former is more likely than the latter.
Just going on personal experience, mind.
 
 
2 hours later…
3:57 PM
you all are boring today
 
JNK
4:49 PM
I'm boring every day
 
a wild JNK appears
 
he lives!!!!
 
JNK
Yeah I'm the worst, sorry
 
@JNK you aren't the worst for living....I mean, you are not that bad
 
Move over Microsoft. jspaint.ml/#local:2a8dde65.be594
They must be feeling the heat now
 
5:07 PM
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Q: Should we have Alibaba Cloud specific tags?

LowlyDBAThe past few weeks I've seen questions specifically about Alibaba Cloud databases (AsparaDB can function as MySQL, SQL Server, or Postgres) both for the first time and seemingly in waves. I'm not sure if some resource is pointing users to the DBA SE site or if there has been an uptick in Alibaba ...

 
@sp_BlitzErik your mom
anyone got any good spinlock papers?
 
she's boring every day
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells I asked the developer to explain what his code did. It didn't work by accident but was just a very obscure and roundabout way of meeting the childishly simple requirement
Replaced his method (taking 15+ seconds) with a 2-liner taking 40ms and asked him to stop trying to look cute
 
5:23 PM
what the heck took 15 seconds
 
JNK
wow what was he trying to do
 
did he import proust in xml?
 
JNK
listen I have a fondness for XML in SQL Server :P
 
have you seen my xquery, pal?
:P
 
He needed to find out if a user defined query's results included an item
so he built the resultset for the user defined query, then built a temporary resultset for the items he was looking for and sort of matched both to see if the results of one were included in the other
(in application code, not in t-sql)
 
5:25 PM
send in the clowns
 
Adding the items he was looking for dynamically to the where (which is trivial in our application code) and see if the original query + the added where clause returned anything was too simple aparrently
 
i don't even get it
 
t-sql is slow
application code is fast
 
while result
{
//do I find my SKU in a very roundabout way?
}

vs

//modify query to look for SKU dynamically
if (result)
 
dynamic sql HAX
omg ownership chaining
 
5:29 PM
@sp_BlitzErik The query is generated in the app dynamically anyway
 
son of a butt these demos
 
I mean the resulting sql isn't dynamic, but the app's kernel generates it anyway
nevermind....
 
i get it
 
@sp_BlitzErik I just ran my first powershell script
 
i have no response to that
 
5:41 PM
I'm impressed at how useless the error messages are
I even copy and pasted it from the internet too
 
i'm watching someone present about powershell all day and tomorrow. if you wanna send it over i can bug him about it.
 
OMG IT WORKED
I'm finally living in the future!
 
 
1 hour later…
7:12 PM
@EvanCarroll your query and the description don't match each other at dba.stackexchange.com/a/195721/6219
and they state they cannot query information_schema.tables (which is weird)
 
hrm didn't even see that.
wonder why he can't query information_schema
never even herad of that.
 
morning
 
morning
 
JNK
morning Paul
 
Not only is it summer there, it's also morning?
 
@EvanCarroll You should really fix PostGres - if only open source stuff worked ;)
 
7:52 PM
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft no, we should fix the user
 
@dezso What fun is that?
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft did you already hear about @ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells's percussive user management strategy? (Well, IIRC it is stakeholder management, but you get the idea.) How could it be not fun?
 
@Forrest yep almost 9 am Friday
 
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft see, our client psql has a flag -E and it tells you exactly what it's doing.
@SeanGallardy-Microsoft so I was able to engineer a new view into the system tables in mere MINUTES
Let's see how long it takes you to from sysschobjs to a display with foreign key relationships
 
@PaulWhite Which makes it the weekend too. Wow, you have it really nice in upside-down land. :)
 
7:56 PM
I hear that the spinlocks spin in a different direction in NZ
 
PostgreSQL system tables are horrendous and confusing. I'd say they couldn't be worse. But then.. Microsoft!
 
No contention for spin locks here
 
@EvanCarroll Obviously, hence the person asking the question... ;)
 
7:57 PM
Low population density
 
@JackDouglas triggers don't work on the mariadb instance, not superuser =(
 
8:13 PM
@PaulWhite puǝıɹɟ 'buıuɹoɯ poob
 
Finally a font typeface that makes sense
 
@sp_BlitzErik did you use the special typeface for that?
 
a series of alt codes
the likes of which
you've never encountered
 
spooky
 
8:37 PM
@JoeObbish Did you ever get a repro for this? Or did you move on to other things?
 
@PaulWhite I got 99 problems but TF 176 ain't one
 
I tried to pass something along but I think you missed it
I think it's easy to reproduce, but I've been wrong before
 
@JoeObbish An email? Or a chat message?
 
sorry, I'm being dumb
it's been a long month
did my description of the issue make sense?
 
8:48 PM
np
 
sounds like a vm problem
 
it really felt like any insert would do it
but descriptions aren't as precise as code, so I could do that too
 
I wasn't interested enough to try to write code from the description, but if you're still interested and have time to write a short repro, I'd be happy to look into it.
 
@PaulWhite do you mind if i ask a quick question while you're around?
 
@sp_BlitzErik dude
that is a quick question while I'm around
 
8:50 PM
then i guess i've exhausted my quantum
 
E_QUANTUM_PUNISHMENT
 
the real problem with VMs is that you can't hit them with baseball bats
2
physical servers have no such restrictions
 
@sp_BlitzErik Go ahead, I'll just put you on the waiter list if it's not runnable.
 
so sossy
 
Ideal present for Joe's birthday this year: virtual baseball bat
 
8:52 PM
Erik I got a question for you too
 
I got a question for you both
(haven't really, but symmetry)
 
it's a questican standoff
 
is this a spinlock convoy condition?
 
live lock
 
Is it bad if I can kind of predict my RESERVED_MEMORY_ALLOCATION_EXT and SOS_PHYS_PAGE_CACHE waits by watching resource monitor? Do I need to go outside?
 
depends. what would you do outside?
it might not be any better, knowing you
 
go inside as soon as possible
it's cold
 
I leave it to the reader to decide who is Good, Bad, and Ugly respectively
 
in the end, we're all good, bad, and ugly. if you think about it.
 
deep
 
8:56 PM
if you think about it
 
I don't even need to think about it
 
Thinking is too hard. I'm going to read the weekly links instead.
 
which set?
 
I have a few unread
 
willing to share the list?
 
8:58 PM
i did one recently. it was surprisingly difficult.
 
BOU are my light entertainment
I have New Year's Day, 8th, and 15th to choose from
@sp_BlitzErik Which one did you do?
 
i think the most recent
 
Ah the Obbish and 80s edition
 
much like you, i have no idea when things i write will see the light of day
often i'm surprised when a not-quite-finished post goes live :D
 
isn't there some way to prevent numa nodes from releasing memory for no reason?
this is so dumb
 
9:02 PM
@sp_BlitzErik ha!
 
@JoeObbish define "no reason"
 
@sp_BlitzErik is there an XE for the reason or something?
it was well under target
under min server memory
no pressure
barely any work on the server
 
if $username like '%Obb%' do release_mem_anyway
 
4 yr old coffee, still gets the day going
 
@PaulWhite the ETL process doesn't run as my user
 
9:06 PM
Jesus a massive cicada just "flew" through the room
That was unexpected
 
@JoeObbish search in the analytic channel for memory_node
 
memory_node_oom_ring_buffer_recorded ? everything else is in perfmon I think
 
there are some with malloc in the name in debug
but none of them seem to have a reason attached
 
EXACTLY
BECAUSE THERE'S NO REASON FOR IT
 
the reason is that it's a vm
but if you tell sql server it's on a vm it will get depressed and shutdown with nowait
7
 
9:12 PM
great, problem solved
how do I do that?
 
careless whispers
 
I appreciate that, but won't that generate like a billion events?
 
i don't know, i've never touched it
you could point it at a single node to test
 
I would try it, but can you think of any way to use that data?
 
no, you're in uncharted territory for me. i'm throwing out things i'd try. they may fail spectacularly.
 
 
1 hour later…
10:29 PM
surely tf 8008 will save us
 
11:28 PM
8008, 7355
 
11:40 PM
8008 didn't save us
 
You're a boob if you rely on 8008
 
@EvanCarroll Maybe it only gets installed if you have an odbc driver?
 
11:57 PM
@PaulWhite is that a pun on the visual similarity between BOOB and 8008?
 

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