The DMZ

12:08 PM

@J.J Hey!

I'm alright

@ConorMancone Yeah, I remember. I had no clue what was going on

Also I'm going to start writing some stuff into my blog that's still being updated

Content requests welcome, topic is free to choose

Like seriously, anything that even remotely sounds interesting. Stack Exchange, Politics, Guns, Videogames, etc...

Q: How to help people who may suffer from Paranoia?

1:10 PM

0

I am a very active member of the Information Security Stack Exchange site. Every now and then, I come across people who I believe may suffer from paranoia. They believe that "someone" is out to get them, and use techno-babble to make themselves sound legitimate. Here is an example post: How t...

mental-health

1:21 PM

@MechMK1 That was a great idea

Khusugtun Batzorig Chinggis khaan (page Batzorig Vaanchig)

@ConorMancone Maybe that'll be the topic for my first post

Also completely unrelated: This is honestly the best music video I have ever seen

►

Just look at the location. Holy shit...

1:33 PM

@MechMK1 That would be fun. I'm slowly making plans for when I have free time again. Between selling my house, trying to move and a cranky baby, I'm doing something literally non-stop from 5:30am-9:00pm every day of the week. Fortunately I should just have 2 or 3 more months of this...

@ConorMancone I really hope that things are going to go over well.

My gf and I are going to AMS on thursday to help her find a temporary job in between her german courses

But my gf has been really grumpy about it

She keeps saying she wants to work and find a job, but whenever I bring up the topic of her finding work, she gets really grumpy and makes up scenarios in her head as to why one specific place of work won't be good for her

1:51 PM

@MechMK1 Obviously this is going to be a difficult transition for her. Although to be fair, change is hard for just about everyone. Hopefully things will work out in the long run!

@ConorMancone Yes, I know. But let's be honest: Working in a small restaurant for 16-20 hours a week cleaning tables and washing the dishes won't break her back

I'm not sending her off to the coal mines to slave away working 25 hours a day

My sister-in-law has been in a somewhat analogous situation. Her husband does have a job, but other than going to work he has had a history of not doing anything other than playing video games, and was pretty checked out of their lives for a while (they've only been married for about 5 years, and are in their late 20s).

They have a kid, and while my sister-in-law worked 50-60 hours a week (to help make ends meet) she was also responsible for pretty much all the parenting, house work, and cooking (although he would just eat fast food)

Depends on how much he works, but housework should be shared

I work 40 hours a week, and my gf doesn't work at all

Oh absolutely. He works 40 hours a week.

Low paying job too

Yet she does very little housework and expects me to praise her to no end if she does something

I mean, I'm glad she does the dishes, but I mean I won't fall to my knees and write a hymn for ti

It's like 20 minutes of work

Take a sponge, put dish sauce on it, scrub 5 plates, 6 glasses, some forks and some knives. Wash them off with clean water, then dry them and put them away

1:57 PM

They live in another state (although we're moving and will be in their area), and the one time I wanted to drop kick him was when I found out that my sister-in-law had a terrible UTI but he wouldn't even go to the pharmacy for her to pick up her prescription. If I had been in the same state I might have picked up the medicine for her, dropped it off, and then drop-kicked him

@ConorMancone Damn, that's harsh

From what limited information I have though, I think he is slowly getting better at actually doing more than just working 8-5 and then playing video games

I don't know who said that, but I remember a quote like this

I hope so. Because otherwise his risk of getting drop-kicked is going to rise in a month or two when I'm up there

> The father who did not teach his son the values of duty and responsibility is just as much to blame as the son is for neglecting them.

1:59 PM

It's not an easy change, but it can happen

Yeah, I absolutely believe that my girlfriend can change

That's a true story. It's crazy how "generational" some of these things can be. From my limited information that is very applicable here.

I just wish I wouldn't have to tell her every single thing she has to do

I mean, I'm not the master of self-organization, and I am certainly not as tidy as I could be

That's a surprisingly hard skill - even otherwise functional adults sometimes lack it. Well, maybe it's not hard, but it is often lacking.

but if I was at home all day, with no duties or anything, and my gf asked me "Could you please do the dishes and the laundry, and take out the trash please?" I would do it

2:01 PM

In other words: that might be the last place you start to see change

@ConorMancone I'm not expecting her to turn into a self-organizational mastermind

But I want to come home to something other than "I'm sorry, I forgot"

And when I asked what she did all day, I hear Dead by Daylight, Team Fortress 2 and YouTube

The saddest thing was when I asked her if she felt like she put the same amount of effort into our relationship as I do, and she said no. And when I asked her why, she didn't have an answer.

Oh yikes, relationship issues

Yeah, used to be a more common theme here

Q: How to prevent attacker from viewing what's on my Android phone screen?

Also have you seen the new post from rockscizzors?

He posted the same paranoid question again

-3

How to prevent attacker from viewing what's on my Android phone screen? Can someone give me advice or suggest apps to prevent this? For example, if I write in notepad, and it's offline, they can read it. They know the time of my alarm. if I just set new random one they know. If I play some music...

privacy android attacks

@UwU Yeah, I saw. I already asked on some other SE site how to react to that

@ConorMancone Also my gf confirmed a suspicion I held for a while now that she's actively stalking the DMZ to see what I write

2:13 PM

Your gf stalks your chatrooms?

Yes

A while ago, I spoke with Conor about her, and she immediately texted me about the topic I was just talking about. I wrote it off as a coincidence.

That's a yikes from me

Then right now, I spoke about her again, then she texted me about it, and later called me, saying she just "happened" to read the DMZ chat logs

Yeah it is

She has some trust issues. I don't know if she'll ever get rid of them

I mean have you done anything untrustworthy before?

I did, 4 years ago

She says she has forgiven me, but she keeps bringing it up

I don't think she ever forgave me

2:18 PM

So maybe she's still struggling with coming to terms with that

Yes, absolutely

But what am I to do?

Nothing

I'm the bad guy for the rest of my life

if she can't get past it, she can't get past it

She doesn't want to break up either

there's really nothing you can do but apologize and say you won't do it again

I apologized, more than enough. For a whole year every day I apologized

This relationship is so toxic and there's nothing I can do about it

My gf came here to Austria from France

her family doesn't want her there anymore, and she refuses any sliver of independence

2:20 PM

Then get out of the relationship

if the relationship isn't good for the both of you then there is no point in staying

I can't. Last time I tried she cried and screamed and begged me to keep her

She'd promise me how she'd change, and I'm the idiot who believes her

Every month when she has her period my life turns into a living nightmare

But yeah, I guess that's my lot in life

Give her an ultimatum and if she still doesn't change then get out

I tried that, back then around christmas time

that's the only way you're going to get out of this

I mean I can't make you leave

She behaved well until the ultimatum date, then a week longer, and then things went back to normal

If I could choose out of all possibilities, I'd pick the one in which she becomes less toxic and our relationship would work

2:22 PM

if you want to stay then stay

But it's not me who can make that change

and that's not always possible

It's her

And I'll just carry on until I can't anymore

trust me I went through my fair share of broken stepdads that my mom wanted to fix

sometimes it's just not possible

Sorry if this got a bit depressing

2:23 PM

it

it's not, it's just life

I don't really want to use the DMZ to air my dirty laundry

if you don't like it we don't have to talk about it

I have a report I need to get back to writing

have a good day, everyone

have a good one

4:02 PM

@MechMK1 you too man, you too...

@MechMK1 and you'd better let go before you reach that point. it's better leave a train wreck before it turns into a train wreck.

I broke up with one of my girlfriends because we both realized it wasn't going to work, so we just sit down, put all in the table, looked at each other, and realized that walking away would be better for both.

a breakup is always ugly, but it can be less ugly. and if you gave a chance, things went messy, you gave 2 chances, they got ugly again, you will give n+1 chances for the rest of your life

until one of you explodes and that end up being the "disastrous breakup" we all want to avoid

A. Hersean

4:34 PM

@MechMK1 That's emotional blackmail. It's very toxic and a clear sign to end the relation sooner than later, because it cannot end well and will not. Delaying the outcome it just wasting your life. I wish I were not speaking from experience.

5:09 PM

Believe it or not this is an attempt to bring some levity (it's a true story). My wife and I both have trouble with anxiety, although it's manageable.

Our baby has been sick. I'm sure it's just a standard cold. But what conclusions do parents come to when they are having an anxious day, the baby has been sick, and I happen to notice that he didn't pee a lot yesterday?

Wife: My milk supply must be drying up!!! (this sounds small but is always on the top of my wife's list of concerns)

Me: He must be going into kidney failure!!!!!

Reality: He's actually perfectly fine.

Fortunately the anxiety levels didn't rise to the point that we tried to rush my wife or my baby to the doctor: that would have been a big waste of time and money for a baby that is in fact perfectly fine

7:47 PM

babies and first time parents are a recipe for disaster... our first girl would have a mild fever (37.1C) and we would rush to the hospital... 37.5? She is dying! We were always worried about everything! My wife got headaches, her milk dried up a couple times, it was rough. The second one was way easier.

as a friend of mine said, "the first baby is made of porcelain, the second of glass, the third of wood"

and @MechMK1 is really living in a toxic relationship, and by the few lines I read, it won't last long if he is lucky.

@ThoriumBR This is my fifth child

fifth? you should be a pro by now! we only have 3...

7yo, 3yo and 1yo... managing them is harder than we anticipated... I cannot imagine managing 5...

@ThoriumBR Anxiety cares nothing of such things! Experience just makes it easier to say: ignore that crazy voice in your head, it is just making shit up

It gets easier as they get older, although at this point in time the youngest are spaced too closely together and it is definitely harder than it has been in the past

anxiety grows the more you listen to it...

12, 8, 6, 3, 1

(8, 6, and 1 are actually 7, 5, and 0, but all have their birthdays next month)

Adding that latest one into the mix made things surprisingly harder, but he's also by far our most difficult baby. Sometimes that's just how it goes....