I actually think that not misgendering people is very important - I would no more want to use the wrong pronouns than the wrong name (which is ironic since I'm extremely bad at remembering names...). And I think that SE considering this is a good thing. But the way the CoC, and especially the FAQ, are written, is not good, and the way they have treated Monica is abysmal - even if she had violated the CoC (which I've seen no evidence of), this would still have been the wrong way to go about it.