And that's fine. If the system works for you, if everybody's safe and happy, you're golden. D&D burned me out because I was constantly pushing against it. Trying to make it less racist and colonial, less materialistic, more empathetic, more interested in characters' internal and social journeys.

Yeah. Basically Sweetheart just did a mission with us, and at the end took Stellata aside for a "are you happy, here's my card" chat in which she made it very clear that she would move heaven, earth, and Doctor Light's pedantic butt, to make Stellata safe and happy--but only according to Stellata's needs as expressed by Stellata.

There are regulars in this room who I don't think would ever be a good fit for my table, or me for theirs. But so long as the people in their groups are safe and happy, I can't really criticize.

@Catija When my mother was teaching below university level, she always said the priority was "are they safe, happy, and learning?" in that order.

Paranoia's got core elements of its conceit which make it even easier than usual to fail at having a safe and happy game, so --like horror games and romance games-- I hold the text to an even higher than usual expectation of support for making it turn out well.

@Himitsu_no_Yami The friends we're playing with are more important than the game we're playing. Listen, ask questions, build trust and maintain open conversation spaces so that you can collaborate to make the best game possible and ensure everybody's staying happy and safe. I strongly urge choosing support tools that fit your group's needs (I like a pared-down version of Script Change, myself).

@linksassin No, it's not about "using the system wrong." There's no wrong way to use a system if everybody involved is safe and happy, though there are often awkward ways to use a system. The thing is, it's important to remember that people DO use systems in all kinds of unexpected ways, and the site's better the more we put in the effort to understand the system AND the individual's game and how they interact.

@Ash I say it a lot.

It still follows the basic "safe and happy" rule, just for a version of happy that's more like watching a legitimately scary movie.

I strongly disagree with D&D 3.5's GMing advice in almost every respect, but I'd hesitate to say that anyone's playing wrong so long as all involved in their game are safe and happy.

So long as everyone's safe and happy, there's no objectively wrong way to play an RPG, but the better I understand the system the more I can make it work for us--or recognize that a different system would match the group better.

That's... patronizing at best and I have no constructive response except blanket disagreement that there's any version of the RPG experience that's objectively a superior way to do it. So long as everyone's safe and happy, individuals are going to benefit from a variety of experiences.

But good reasons for secrets are dependent entirely on the group in question. Just remember that the first rule is everyone needs to be safe and happy.

The how of safe-and-happy is all the tools of the GM's trade. It might involve system balance, if that's a thing the group values. Many do. But many other groups consider system balance an obstacle to fun.

So long as everybody's safe and happy (in that order), you're not doing it wrong.

@CBredlow If your group likes puzzles in dungeons, then puzzles in dungeons are awesome. Shalv's got some good advice on how to make the puzzles work well, but any "is it okay to do X in an RPG?" question boils down to whether the choice makes the folks involved happy while keeping them safe.

It's really down to play style, there's no wrong way to play an RPG so long as everyone involved is safe and happy. But often a group will assume everyone has the same play style without actually checking, and the clash of inaccurate assumptions causes much real-life drama.

'cause there's no right or wrong way to play an RPG so long as everyone involved is safe and happy.

So long as everyone involved is safe and happy, there's no objectively wrong way to play an RPG.

It's a little saddening that people need to be reminded it's more important that folks be safe and happy than that folks play a game, but I've seen a lot of cases where it's thought that the game is either more important, or that the act of playing it will make people happy regardless.

@Anaphory It's something I learned from summer camp supervisors: are they safe? are they happy? are they doing the activity? in that order.

AKA, make people safe, make people happy, and play the game sincerely.

The First Rule is "Everyone should be safe." The Second Rule is "Everyone should be happy." Only once those are pretty firm can we start worrying about playstyle, system mastery, narrative coherence, and all that stuff.

Remember the Golden Rule of Gaming: Provided everyone is safe and happy, there is no wrong way to play.

So long as the people involved in the game experience are happy and safe, nobody outside the experience is qualified to tell them they're Doing It Wrong.

The corollary being that if anyone isn't safe and happy, changing that should be top priority.

@Lord_Gareth Ah, yes. The old "safe-and-happy-first" rule. I learnt it from taking care of kids, but it works nearly everywhere.

Here's my cardinal rule of gaming, for players and GMs alike: Make sure everyone is safe and happy, in that order, and talk with the group about what will help keep them safe and happy.

It's a priority thing; if everyone's safe and happy then I can start worrying about other things. But it's also a good way of reminding myself that I don't have to worry about other stuff if "safe and happy" are being met.

Well, as a general rule I use the "Is everyone safe? Is everyone happy?" guideline.

@GMNoob "a poor fit for most RPG contexts;" "a broad rule of thumb;" "outcomes should generally be drawn out;" "subverts the game's own paradigm;" how are these statements of mine universally dismissing any other playstyle? You've been in this chat long enough to see me say at least twice that there's no wrong way to play RPGs so long as everyone's safe and happy.

I say that a lot.

He may not enjoy it, but a successful mercenary knows he has to keep the money happy as well as safe.

I always try to remember my mother's mantra from working with summer camp kids: Is everyone safe? If yes, is everyone happy? If yes, then we can start worrying about what's actually happening.

The "right" way to play an RPG is in a way that makes people safe and happy. Any other criterion is secondary at best.