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12:15 AM
@Mr.ShinyandNew安宇 Oh noes, whatever shall I do?
How typical: the epitome of walled-gardenism and consumerism locks out people who don't get new stuff all the time.
People who paid good money for their Itunes shit, no doubt.
And they say I am the gatekeeper of Hell; Apple can teach me stuff!
 
12:32 AM
You still look like the gatekeeper to me. @Cerberus
Ah, so that day has come--no more iTunes on XP.
 
1:09 AM
@DamkerngT. Why, thank you!
 
@Cerberus I meant your avatar. Greetings!
 
That is I!
 
Yes!
Long time no see! (10 days ago doesn't count)
Or more correctly, I hadn't visited the room for a long, long time.
 
This room?
 
Yes.
 
1:20 AM
Well, welcome back!
 
I'm not sure if I was here last winterbash.
Thanks!
 
I hadn't visited ELL in a long while.
 
Yes. Kinda miss you too.
 
It was nice there, with you and Snaily and the guys.
 
I hope everything is going great in your life.
 
1:21 AM
Sure, it is.
And yours?
 
@Cerberus It was a great time!
 
How is Bangkok?
 
@Cerberus I'm a bit late (according to my plan), but I think I'll be okay.
 
Hmm late with what?
 
@Cerberus As good as it gets, I think.
@Cerberus My project.
 
1:24 AM
No more riots, I take it? Or we'd have heard about them in the news.
A secret project?
 
Sort of. :-)
Ah, someone is knocking my door. Gotta go. It was nice talking to you again!
See you later!
 
Bye!
 
[ SmokeDetector ] Repeating characters in answer: Why is the plural of “deer” the same as the singular? by hyam on english.stackexchange.com
 
 
8 hours later…
9:15 AM
@Cerberus stop copypasting from the PoMo generator.
 
10:07 AM
> Cunt Touch This is inspired by Tee A. Corinne’s Cunt Colouring Book from 1975. The game is a meditative drawing activity accompanied by sounds. Using fingers on a touchpad players can admire, care for and add their own artistic colouring to the detailed shapes of Corinne’s drawings.
> Move your finger on the screen to color the cunt. Find it’s favorite spots and focus on them to make it climax. When you’ve made the cunt come, pick another one from the gallery and cuntinue.
Available for Android and browser.
 
 
1 hour later…
11:13 AM
@Rob will love this:
1
Q: What is the name of a thing that can be present or absent?

Robert NorrisIt is an arbitrary, abstract thing. Its only interesting quality is that it can be present or absent. I'd settle for a thing that exists or doesn't exist, is here or not here, etc. I'm just after a single word to describe this thing.

 
11:39 AM
@RegDwigнt Yeesh.
I dunno, how about thing?
 
@Robusto Hey I thought of that first.
Quit stealing my stuff.
You've got your 100k already.
 
I need moar!!!
 
Didn't we already have this conversation a while ago?
 
But... 100k is OVER 9000.
Nothing can be moar than OVER 9000.
 
@terdon All conversations are basically retreads.
 
11:43 AM
@terdon didn't you already have spaghetti a while ago?
What's wrong with having spaghetti twice in your life?
Who said this site must stop after getting exactly one ridiculous question?
We are unstoppable.
 
Mar 28 at 22:28, by terdon
@Kyth'Py1k things/objects
 
He objects to things. Heresy.
Mr Terdon treats objects like women.
 
And you should see how I treat things.
 
K peeps, quiz time.
Name the language.
 
Frisian?
 
11:51 AM
Good thinking. But ten thousand miles off.
 
Umm . . . Indonesian?
 
In related news, I just spent three minutes on Google maps trying to find out how many miles exactly it was. To no avail. This new interface is completely and utterly unusable.
 
All in the name of progress.
 
It used to be that you could just type location A, then location B, and you were done.
 
By ditching features Google can spy on you better.
 
11:52 AM
Now it can't even find location A FFS.
 
So what language is that?
 
I type Ostfriesland, and it takes me to some hotel in Munich.
@Robusto Norfuk. No really, that's the official name and spelling.
Norfolk Island (/ˈnɔrfək ˈaɪlənd/; Norfuk: Norf'k Ailen) is a small island in the Pacific Ocean located between Australia, New Zealand and New Caledonia, 1,412 kilometres (877 mi) directly east of mainland Australia's Evans Head, and about 900 kilometres (560 mi) from Lord Howe Island. The island is part of the Commonwealth of Australia, and enjoys a large degree of self-governance. Together with two neighbouring islands, it forms one of Australia's external territories. It has 2,300 inhabitants living on a total area of about 35 km2 (14 sq mi). Its capital is Kingston. Originally settled by East...
 
Where the Norfuk is Norfuk?
 
And who the norfuk is Alice.
 
go ask alice
 
11:54 AM
To be fair, every single norfuker is an offspring of the Bounty... um... mutants? mutineers?
 
I think she'll know
@RegDwigнt Miscreants?
Were these the Pitcairn Island miscreants, or some others?
 
So anyway, the point being if they don't call their language that, nobody will.
@Robusto I've no idea.
I only know that Batavia was a separate incident.
The Mutiny on the Bounty was a mutiny aboard the Royal Navy ship HMS Bounty on 28 April 1789. The mutiny was led by Fletcher Christian against their captain, Lieutenant William Bligh. According to accounts, the sailors were attracted to the "idyllic" life and sexual opportunities afforded on the Pacific island of Tahiti. It has also been argued that they were motivated by Bligh's allegedly harsh treatment of them. Eighteen mutineers set Bligh afloat in a small boat with eighteen of the twenty-two crew loyal to him. To avoid detection and prevent desertion, the mutineers then variously settled on...
The 1740 Batavia massacre (Dutch: Chinezenmoord, literally "Murder of the Chinese"; Indonesian: Geger Pacinan, meaning "Chinatown Tumult") was a pogrom of ethnic Chinese in the port city of Batavia (present-day Jakarta) in the Dutch East Indies. The violence inside the city lasted from 9 October 1740 until 22 October, with minor skirmishes outside the walls continuing late into November that year. Historians have estimated that at least 10,000 ethnic Chinese were massacred; just 600 to 3,000 are believed to have survived. In September 1740, as unrest rose among the Chinese population, spurred by...
Hah, not that many years apart actually.
 
The Dutch have a word for it.
 
Wait. Wait. Nonono.
That's a different Batavia.
Batavia was a ship of the Dutch East India Company (VOC). It was built in Amsterdam in 1628 and armed with 24 cast-iron cannons, and a number of bronze guns. Batavia, shipwrecked on her maiden voyage, was made famous by the subsequent mutiny and massacre that took place among the survivors. A twentieth-century replica of the ship, also called the Batavia, can be visited in Lelystad, Netherlands. == Mutiny on the Batavia == === Departure and voyage === On 27 October 1628, the newly built Batavia, commissioned by the Dutch East India Company, sailed from Texel for the Dutch East Indies, t...
I mean the 1629 Batavia massacre.
 
Batavia is a suburb of Chicago. It was founded in 1833, and is the oldest city in Kane County, Illinois. A small portion of Batavia lies in DuPage County. During the latter part of the 19th century, Batavia became known as ‘The Windmill City’ for being the largest windmill producer of the time. Fermilab, a federal-government-sponsored high-energy physics laboratory, where both the bottom quark and the top quark were first detected, is located in the city. Batavia is part of a Tri-Cities area, along with St. Charles and Geneva, all western suburbs of similar size and relative socioeconomic condition...
 
11:58 AM
Jesus Christ, those Dutches were not very original now were they.
 
I only remember the Illinois Batavia.
 
Another year, another Dutch East India Company Batavia massacre in Australia.
 
But it wouldn't surprise me if they'd had a massacre of Chinese there.
They were always on the radio when there were tornado warnings.
I figure where there's smoke there's fire.
 
I mean, seriously, who would even name another ship after a ship that failed like that.
Who would name another ship Titanic?
The Dutch East India Company, that's who.
 
It is a conspiracy by the Illumanati, or the Masons, or the Templars. Ask Dan Brown.
 
12:03 PM
So anyway. Norfolk Island seems to be awesome.
Now that's what I call a gravestone.
 
If you like cemeteries.
 
I have no strong feelings about cemeteries one way or the other, but that's precisely the thing.
This one makes me feel like it actually has a meaning and a purpose.
Like, you actually get to know those people. Or that they were people.
 
@RegDwigнt The Pomo Generator must have fallen deep for it to use the word "stuff"!
 
Not just a couple dates or a stupid poem.
 
But you did understand what I meant, didn't you?
 
12:07 PM
@Cerberus I don't think I did, and now I don't even remember what it was.
It just struck me as funneh.
 
@RegDwigнt That looks Photoshopped?
 
@RegDwigнt Bah, just because I invented a word.
Walled-gardenism?
 
@RegDwigнt They all have a meaning and a purpose. And their purpose is to creep people out.
 
12:08 PM
Somebody check his licence.
 
This is so cuil.
 
@RegDwigнt That's because a certain Rus Photoshopped me.
 
@RegDwigнt Lets take a look at the Jew pages next. Or the Brahmin ones.
 
No, I don't mean the names.
 
Photostop: The antidote to Photoshop.
 
12:09 PM
Though that's another cool thing.
They are offspring of like only 20 people.
 
I know. Hence the joke.
 
But I mean the nicknames in parentheses.
 
I knew it was fake, it is in Australia!
 
You should try looking at those pages in New Scandihoovia.
 
Tom (tchrist) Christiansen: 555-1234567. Cer (dog) Berus: 555-1234568.
 
12:11 PM
@Cerberus Australia, Austria, what's the diff?
 
You can’t use my name to find me in Wisconsin. Every third person has my name there.
 
@Cerberus yeah as I was saying to Rob just a minute ago, Google Maps doesn't even have Australia.
Totally fake.
 
Who gave you my number? Was it Orthus again?
 
Demogorgon.
 
@Robusto One is a real place, the other an antipodean fantasy.
 
12:11 PM
@tchrist okay noted, I will look for you in Kyoto instead.
 
Cerb is his own antipus.
 
@RegDwigнt They must have mistaken the Great Pacific garbage patch for Australia.
@tchrist Thank you...I guess.
 
@Cerberus Australia will kill you faster.
 
Now seriously though, folks. Serious question. Say I want to find out the distance between Ostfriesland and Norfolk Island using Google Maps. How do I go about that?
It used to be simple. Now it uses to be impossible.
 
12:13 PM
@Robusto Hey, there are still sharks in the patch.
 
May 3 '14 at 2:20, by Robusto
Where he talks about Things That Can Kill You Horribly in Australia, Vol. 19.
 
yesterday, by RegDwigнt
You call that a date? This is a date!!
 
I have a Great Circle Algorithm. It doesn’t work very well for calculating the distance between my house and my neighbor’s but is otherwise fine.
 
@RegDwigнt I haven't been able to measure distances on Google Maps ever since they removed that function.
 
12:15 PM
@Robusto Meh. Just because the Python kept choking on your dog.
 
And gave us the slow, confusing interface instead. "Material design", bah.
 
I got rid of that dog. Kept the python, though.
 
@Cerberus okay, next serious question then. Is there a single function they did not remove?
The number of people who do not complain to me about Google Maps having become shit is exactly zero.
 
Nope, that's what big companies that offer free products like to do: remove functions that the masses do not use, regress.
 
But I was going to use the function that the masses totally use!
 
12:16 PM
Oh, and it also crashes all the time in FF.
Which one?
 
I was going to let it compute a route between two points.
Travel from A to B.
 
The masses don't use that function.
Oh, a route.
 
Yeah come on now.
 
I thought you meant the distance between two points.
 
Everybody uses Maps for that.
 
12:17 PM
Reg, what's the name of the graphing software that uses input files names something.grazzle (I may be misremembering).
 
They still have the length of your route?
 
@Cerberus I don't need a straight line. A good approximation would be enough. And seeing how there's two oceans in-between, it would basically be a straight line anyway.
@tchrist I... don't know...
Never heard of grazzle.
 
@RegDwigнt Well, the masses don't use that function.
 
Stop trolling me already.
 
They only want routes.
 
12:18 PM
Stop trolling me now and tell me how to get a route.
That's all what I've been asking for for fifteen minutes now.
 
You can't get a route across oceans.
 
I don't want a route across oceans.
 
Are you saying you once could?
 
I want any route.
It doesn't even let me enter a starting point.
 
You're confusing me.
 
12:19 PM
I can get a route across oceans.
Google just does it.
It knows stuff
 
@RegDwigнt To pick a starting point, just click on the map somewhere.
 
@Cerberus It’s those charity trucks that sweep through your neighborhood gathering up roadside donations left for the underprivileged. You put out your unloved tables and chairs and lava laps and kitty litter and distance calculating functions, and they redistribute them to those less fortunate than yourself.
 
@Mitch Proof?
@tchrist Ummm that is not the analogy I would use.
 
@tchrist If by charity truck you mean suburban van looking for their own cheap /free furniture, then yes. (I've heard)
 
@Cerberus that zooms the map in for me.
 
12:21 PM
Huh.
And if you right-click?
 
It used to be that it had two fields on the left. A and B. So simple.
Now it has no fields at all.
It used to be that it had buttons for the various functions.
Now it has no buttons at all.
 
This minimalist shit is getting on my nerves.
 
You don't have this field?
 
Go minimalist on your TV remotes, FFS, not on your software with three and a half functions.
 
12:23 PM
@Cerberus Hunh. Google maps won't let me go from Miami to Havana. Thanks Obama.
 
I agree about the minimalism, it's annoying. But I can still do routes.
 
@RegDwigнt then the maximalist stuff is going to hurt even worse
 
@Cerberus that field is the only thing I have.
Except as soon as I start typing in it, it puts a ton of spam on my screen.
 
@Mitch Huh, it lets me plan a route to Ireland! That must be new!
 
It can't be new.
 
12:24 PM
Goddamn it, it's getting noisy in here again.
Why can't people just STFU?
 
@RegDwigнt Yes, but you can also just continue to type "Swanzenplatz 13", or wherever you live, right?
 
@RegDwigнt My bad. It’s blahblah.graffle
 
Even the NYT reported on the "Easter Egg" that Google Maps would tell you to "swim across the Pacific ocean" back in 1874.
That is how not new it is.
 
I shoulda worked from home.
 
@Robusto We apologize.
 
12:25 PM
@Cerberus I don't want to type where I live.
I want to type "Ostfriesland".
It cannot find Ostfriesland.
It finds me some shit in Munich.
Munich is so not Ostfriesland, you have no idea. Well, maybe you do.
 
@Cerberus Not you. The people in my stupid office.
 
Impossible. Munich has no shit. It is so clean that the dogs wear diapers and the men pee sitting down.
 
@Cerberus They have faeries to Ireland
 
@RegDwigнt Ah OK. I can just click the map somewhere in O-F while my caret is in the empty destination field to get that.
 
@tchrist I only know Omnigraffle. For Mac.
 
12:26 PM
@RegDwigнt Or I right-click in O-F on the map and select "directions to here".
 
@RegDwigнt Yes. Is it better than Graphviz?
 
@tchrist everything is better than Graphviz. Genital warts are better than Graphviz.
 
@Robusto I apologize in their name. All the help I can offer is promising to bite them in the afterlife.
 
Graphviz can't even render a simple graph if it has more than a couple nodes.
 
@RegDwigнt Depends on where Graphviz is on your junk
 
12:28 PM
@Cerberus If you can't bite them now, you're of no use to me.
 
@RegDwigнt huh?
 
Yeah.
 
@Mitch Ooh a Disney ride!
 
I’ve fed it zillions. It is unreadable, but it does make something.
 
@Robusto If you will just ship me there...
 
12:28 PM
That's why everyone at all's marketing message number one is "we can render huge graphs with as many as 100 objects". Because Graphviz fails.
 
That's silly.
 
@Cerberus Talk to Charon.
 
@tchrist we know you're superman.
 
I have one with 346 nodes.
 
So anyway, back on topic. Omnigraffle was da shit back in the day, but that day was ten years ago and I haven't checked since.
I have a colleague I could ask, but he's two stories above me so allow for that to take a week or two.
 
12:31 PM
I've got another insanely complicated class network (I refuse to call it a hierarchy) to graph and wondered whether there weren't something that didn't produce the kind of crap I showed you last time.
 
@Cerberus okay so right-clicking gets me "Route from here". That's good.
Except I'm still in Munich, so it's rather pointless.
 
Good.
 
I don't want to be in Munich.
Not even the municians want to.
 
Understandable.
 
If you right click another location, can you pick "route to here"?
 
12:32 PM
I thought those were banned after the War.
 
If you want to show/manipulate graphs, you should have a look at Cytoscape. It's excellent!
And free.
 
@terdon I don’t want to manipulate them. I want to create them from a honkin' input file of nodes.
 
Lol I actually get an "Entfernung messen".
 
Well, and edges.
 
But now I have to manually drag the one end to Friesland, and the other end to Australia. O Google, you so funny.
 
12:33 PM
@tchrist Yup. That's what it does. It can deal with several tens of thousands of nodes as long as your machine has the oomph for it.
I've used it to generate graphs of the human interactome for example.
 
@terdon so can thousands of other tools.
 
@RegDwigнt Really? I've never seen anything as powerful as cytoscape.
It's the de facto tool for networks in biology.
 
@RegDwigнt Are you perhaps on some other version of Gmaps than I am? What may also help is to clear the "from" field, then right-click on some other place on the map and pick "directions from here"?
 
Cytoscape sounds like something my old PI was pushing.
 
12:34 PM
@terdon then you've never looked.
 
But that was a bio lab.
 
Our biologist customers kept telling that our tool was the de facto tool for networks in biology.
Then we discontinued it.
Biologists will tell you anything at all.
 
Only if it gets them published.
 
There's ILOG Views, Tom Sawyer, Tulip, Walrus, Omnigraffle, Graphviz, AGD and LEDA, GraVis, Grappa, Pajek, VCG, and that's just the first dozen off the top of my head.
I could go on for a full hour if you let me.
 
@RegDwigнt Name me a few then, I spent 4 years in a lab dealing with networks and spoke with quite a few people in the field. I'd be interested to know of alternatives. The ones I checked were either not free and/or less powerful.
 
12:37 PM
0
A: Is the lowercase pronoun "i" a feature of Indian English?

sp00n(This should be a comment, but I don't have enough reputation. Mods can delete this if they think it's inappropriate.) I just wanted to point out that "Italia", as the proper noun of the country, is capitalized, while "italiano" and "io" are indeed not.

 
Then there's the whole JAVA stuff, like yFiles and VGJ and what have you...
 
Just yesterday I was thinking that that “question” was bound to draw more noise than signal. I didn’t have to wait long.
@RegDwigнt Byte your tongue.
 
Seriously, this graph-visualization shit will make me make an XKCD reference, that's how bad it is.
s/standards/graph-visualization tools/
@terdon you should have asked ten years ago, I would have recommended our tool, obviously. And you would have loved it. Too late now, sorry.
Back when the Open Directory was still a thing, one could look these things up. Alas, God decided to replace it with Facebook.
 
@tchrist How come nobody ever provides lowercase cookies and punch? Those would be more useful.
@RegDwigнt The marketing strategy being "How dare you like our product!"
 
Yes, pretty much so.
 
12:46 PM
Yes. That strategy is all too common.
 
People only care about likes on Facebook. In real life, they only care about money.
 
Just when I start to like something, they discontinue it or fuck it up beyond belief.
 
And since terdon keeps saying things like "free", well screw them all, we'd rather sell burgers for $300.
It's the economy, stupid.
 
And now you've got carpet-cleaning companies wanting you to "like" their service on Facebook. Seriously, may I never stoop so low. I mean, they could stick a gun in my face and then maybe we'd talk about that. Short of armed intervention, no.
How low must your life sink before you would "like" a carpet-cleaning company on Facebook?
 
Anyone at all can like anything on Facebook. You literally cannot not like something on Facebook.
 
12:49 PM
@RegDwigнt None cares about poking?
 
Give me the unlike button, then we'll talk.
 
There are the poker and the pokee. Playing poker is more fun than playing pokee.
 
@Robusto Exactly...FB screwed up poking forever.
 
I mean, afterwards I'll still not use Facebook, but you'll at least have talked to an intelligent person for a change.
 
We need to care the AboutFaceBook, in which you can only unlike things. That would be more popular than FB, I think.
 
12:50 PM
@Robusto People do that shit al the time on Yelp and Angie's list. for free.
 
@Robusto I think that's called Timber.
 
Really? It exists already? I'm not surprised.
 
And last I heard it had 8 billion users vs Facebook's laughable 7.
 
@Robusto The next thing you say exists already. And you won't be surprised.
 
@Robusto yeah you look at pictures of people, say "uuuuugly" and swipe to the left, or say "omg look at these tits" and swipe to the right.
Or the other way round. I dunno.
I only ever read about it once, a month ago, on Spiegel Online.
But apparently I'm the penultimate person on Earth to have heard of it. The ultimate person being you.
 
12:52 PM
It's fun!
 
See.
 
And you don't have to be single to flirt.
 
@Cerberus That's never stopped me before.
 
And, if everyone's on it, then there must be also some good people on it.
 
Of course Cerberus screws up the ratings by swiping the ugly blokes to the right and the awesome tits to the left.
 
12:53 PM
@Robusto Voilà.
 
@Cerberus and you don't need Timber to flirt.
 
@RegDwigнt Naaah they only rarely present their mammae to me.
 
Oct 16 '12 at 19:29, by Robusto
@KitFox Already written.
 
@RegDwigнt You do if you want flirt while away from actual people.
 
@RegDwigнt Yes, Cytoscape uses some yfiles plugins. However, it's built in Java and in a very modular way so there are now loads of plugins and the whole thing is open sourced so it is moving very quickly. It's visualization options are truly impressive.
 
12:54 PM
@Cerberus That's not flirting. That's not even masturbation. That is the opposite of masturbation.
 
Well, once you have a match (they have swiped you in the right direction as well), you can begin communicating.
 
Anyway. If you want to continue talking about products I don't care about nor use, then how about we discuss Putin instead.
 
Whose product is he?
The KGB's?
 
He's the product of the society. Some society. Probably the illuminati.
 
I hear the EU will forbid Gazprom from using different gas prices for different countries.
Oh, that society.
 
12:57 PM
@Cerberus It's a dishsoap. Procter and Gamble. 'Putin your dishes spotless'
 
@Mitch You're beating a dead horse.
 
I hear Gazprom will forbid the EU.
Then they'll be quits.
 
@Mitch His English is marvellous!
 
@Robusto this is the rhythm of the night.
 
I still think the EU beats Gazprom!
 
12:57 PM
@Robusto I know. You are one of the few people here how hasn't said "I've already said that"
 
@Cerberus Gazprom is on every other football player's chest. The EU is not, and never will be.
How many EUs can you spot in that picture?
 
Haha.
Union is from unus.
 
Onion is from onus.
 
Besides, it's UE, silly.
 

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