@CreationEdge your answer is spot on, though - giving specific examples, and specific benefits

I couldn't find the study I remembered either - I'm sure it was online...

@Erica - any idea why my ping isn't working?

@anongoodnurse Hold on let me research

@@604@parenting.stackexchange.com is the syntax, I think

@bjb568 Thanks, I'll try that!

@bjb568 Yup. Couldn't figure out why it was claiming Parenting didn't exist. Thanks.

@DVK - why are you arguing in comments?

You have been around for years. You know the purpose of comments. Your comments aren't remotely connected to the OP's question, as you're accusing others of doing. Can you explain?

@anongoodnurse - I'm arguing against invalid (as in, demonstrably untrue) answers.

@anongoodnurse - If you prefer, I'll just go and silently delete the wrong / insulting/ etc... stuff without bothering with comments

@DVK You're arguing in comments, that's not what comments are for.

@anongoodnurse - What really is curious is, why are you defending things that are patently insulting?

I addressed the answer. I removed it.

What is patently insulting? I am not understanding your very strong objections.

@anongoodnurse - Hm. I'm not sure we are refering to the same thing? I was talking about my rejected flag on a comment

@DVK Shall we start at the beginning?

@DVK Most recent flag is marked in the system as helpful and answer was edited.

You flagged the answer - about the sheep - I removed the line.

@anongoodnurse - I flagged a couple of different thing. my last comment referred to a declined flag

@DVK which was what - you've been a little busy.

@DVK can you please remind me?

@anongoodnurse If you can see my flags (parenting.stackexchange.com/users/flag-summary/604) correctly, #3 from the top

@anongoodnurse - Ah, perfect. I didn't see your edit yet, but basically that result was the reason I both flagged and commented. I'll remove all my comments from that answer now. Thanks

Thank you. I did not find sufficient reason to remove this.

@anongoodnurse - Considering the fact that Christians believe that rejection of their belief would put their child's soul in Hell (again, I'm not a Christian, this is based on some research done on Christianity.SE), accusing a Christian of "bad parenting" when they react negatively to their child rejecting their religion is pretty insulting IMHO

@DVK and I did not find that insulting. And I am a Christian.

That's pretty much equivalent to calling it bad parenting if secular parents punish their child for doing drugs and stealing - because doing both would likely permanently ruin child's life, NOT because they are doing it for daring to disagree with parents' teachings

There is some latitude in comments.

@DVK You are of what belief, may I ask?

@DVK I don't see how that's equivalent. That sounds more straw-many.

(... the above comment is too much personal info, and will self destruct in 30 seconds...)

:21803001 Then can you please base your offensive flags on what you believe, and not what you project that a Christian would believe?

Offensive flags should be based on a single objective viewpoint, not relative to one's beliefs. Legally, it's the "reasonable person".

@DVK And don't quote Scripture in comments.

@anongoodnurse - I quote Scripture (which, again, I personally don't believe in) not to prove a point of its truth, but to prove its existence which - the existence - was flat out denied by the person.

@DVK May I be frank here?

@bjb568 - Well, as a reasonable person, I hold that if my belief system indicates that doing X will permanently ruin my child's life, then punishing them for doing X isn't "bad parenting". Whether I personally agree with X being ruinous or not is 100% irrelevant

@DVK One difficulty with outright removing that comment [flag #3 to help keep track] is that there are some subsequent responses that provide context and discussion that expand on the Answer. I agree that it could be interpreted as offensive, but wasn't left there unacknowledged.

@DVK What exactly is your dog in this race?

Comments are intended to be more impermanent than answers and have lower value, but not none.

@DVK Yes, but you assume that the parent is reasonable. If we negate that assumption we see that it's easy for the parent to be "bad" regardless of whether they have malicious intent.

@anongoodnurse - High level (as the Meta thing earlier was also an example of), it's the unequal treatment of things under the rules

@DVK There will always be examples of that.

If "be nice" and "don't insult people" is a rule on SE (a good idea), that should also hold for "don't insult Christians"

@DVK Things will always be treated inequitably, particularly when reaching back to 1yr+ answers

I wasn't a mod here - or even a member - when that answer was written.

We simply can't be in all places at once.

@DVK What @Erica said.

Admittely, I was on high-volume kick for this topic, but that just was an accident of browsing (I found one interesting question pertaining to religion, and opened all linked questions, and saw a bunch of stuff I found objectionable)

Trust me, I'd flag the same way if someone insulted a Wiccan

> Bigotry of any kind. Language likely to offend or alienate individuals or groups based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. will not be tolerated. At all. (Those are just a few examples; when in doubt, just don't.)

@DVK Then be patient and don't quote Scripture at me in comments when I actually fixed the post! Or even if I didn't

@anongoodnurse - I'm sorry, did you actually bother reading my explanation of who I quoted the scripture to and why?

It was to the poster, to prove their assertion "this isn't in the scripture" as being wrong.

@DVK Yes - why the bold?

@DVK That was not the subject of the OP.

It is irrelevant and Off Topic.

What answer are we talking about here anyway?

@anongoodnurse - it was smack in the middle of their answer. (I agree that it was also irrelevant to what the question asked)

@anongoodnurse - am I allowed to answer bjb's question?

Deleted now?

@DVK I removed it. You engaged in a comment argument. I'm asking you to reconsider that style of interacting.

@DVK Of course you are.

OK my laptop died so now I'm on my phone and have to be more brusque than I might generally

@anongoodnurse - I can't prove it as you deleted the comment, but i'm 100% sure I posted the quote before you even came to that question, presumable following up on my flag

I apologize in advance for that

parenting.stackexchange.com/posts/14542/revisions

@bjb568 - ^

see the edit (that removed the part I was objecting to, on 2 grounds - first half was factually untrue, second half was outright insulting)

In the context of your recent meta post the number of flags appears to be more than simply attempting to clean things up and let mood know about problems

Please call down and believe that we do have the best intentions

@Erica - well, one can't prove intentions (stealing from Skeptics.SE) manta, so you're welcome to take any view of my intentions you wish

@DVK I don't think so, but I might be wrong. In either case, arguing in comments and quoting scripture in comments to debate a minor point no one was offended by seems to be unnecessary.

I am trying to show you a possible interpretation, and hoping that isn't your goal

@Erica you're just going to have to judge by the quality of my flags, sorry. I have no intention to argue my unprovable good intentions (pun not intended)

@DVK You quote this, yet you assume a person will be insulted by something minor in a post?

Not what I'm trying to ask you to do

It all looks like a mess. Most other SE sites would just steer clear of that kind of question in the first place.

@bjb568 Parenting is different.

Yes, as I can see :)

This is a valid Parenting question.

@anongoodnurse I don't consider it minor at all

:)

@DVK I do. And, apparently I am not alone, as you're the first to flag it in over a year.

My goal isn't "tell me why" it's try to defuse this by showing an interpretation you may not have expected

The problem with that question is one I noted earlier. The asker asked "how". Half the answers argue "whether".

@DVK The world is not black and white.

We addressed this somewhat in meta.

Some answers slip by, the mods at the time may have been busy, or no one flagged it.

@Erica - if you insist on "interpreting" things instead of taking things at factual value, I can't really stop you. Just like someone else insisted on interpreting my issue with editing event as attack on non-editing-related (but tangled) user moderation issue.

@DVK Oh, btw, glad you brought that up.

@anongoodnurse - The world sure isn't. However, when I ask a question, I really really really hate when it gets diluted to uselessness by (unfortunately, frequently popular) answers that don

,,,doin't address my needs as an asker.

@DVK Can I ask you to please stop calling my behavior in my answer "hypocritical"?

An issue is religion is a set of people loosely defined by their beliefs, not the beliefs themselves. All is grey with something so vague. OP is asking about how to tell people in the group that he isn't part of it and answers have to consider the reaction of people within, but since the set isn't well defined it makes the task difficult. With all the emotion attached, the question is just a recipe for disaster.

Too POB, if you ask me.

@bjb568 POB actually is not necessarily a reason to delete or close on Parenting.

@anongoodnurse - OK I'll edit.

@anongoodnurse I get that. I just think it should be.

Parenting almost always comes down to POB, because good studies are hard to come by, and people don't read them anyway.

oh wait, I can't... post locked! (feel free to edit yourself to replace hypocritical to "inconsistent" as that's what I was trying to convey)

I'm clearly not conveying information well. No interest in fighting about ap point I haven't meant to make, especially on this useless phone interface.

@DVK That word is so much less inflammatory, thank you. What about comments that you used that word to describe me in?

@Erica I don't know how you can do it on a phone, honestly. My hat's off to you!

@anongoodnurse badly, apparently ;-D

@anongoodnurse - edit or delete. BTW, somewhat offtopic, I am still extremely skeptical that your resource supports your assertions (based on personal experience), but without access to it I'll assume it does

@bjb568 It will be POB when God starts handing out the definitive manual on Parenting with every delivery! :D

@DVK It does. Honest, it does.

@anongoodnurse - Old Testament has a fair amount on parenting, doesn't it? :)

@DVK Every single point I made is directly addressed by that source.

@anongoodnurse I'm not doubting your sincerity, just the correctness of your interpretation.

@DVK ??? There's a site called OT?

@anongoodnurse Aske and it shall be delivered

devotions.net/bible/00old.htm

@DVK sigh. Motive/intent - what did you say about that before in this very conversation???

@anongoodnurse something that may be relevant is that non Christians typically have a higher sensitivity to the belief-hell relationship since those Christians who do devoutly embrace that truth ttypically really want to save our souls. I know many, many don't, but have had far too many uncomfortable conversations with others.

@DVK lol! I have a Bible, thank you.

@Erica I believe it's God's job to save one's soul. My job is to make sure you've been exposed to Jesus.

@anongoodnurse - that's exactly why I said I'm NOT doubting your sincerity.

Understand. But not all interpret it so :)

(Not my mod job, of course.) :)

LOL!

But there are a few ways to be offended by the sentence you removed and I'm glad it got flagged is the point.

@Erica - I'm actually coming at this from the opposite side - while I patently disagree with their viewpoint belief-wise, I know exactly where they are coming from (due to strong interest in comparative theology). Which is why I react so strongly when others mischaracterize their viewpoint, especially with disparaging intent.

Amen to that! Now we are done here, I hope? It's a gorgeous day here, and I want to play outside. ;)

@anongoodnurse - I'm done, at least. I finished all the P.SE questions I opened in that thread, so nothing to flag left :)

@DVK amen

@anongoodnurse bah, good weather is good time to implement APIs!

However, since you (@anon) seem serious about answers based on unsupported evidence, I hope you won't mind if I flag them when I see them as that used to be my minor pet peeve on Parenting.

@DVK Hallelujah!!!

Oy. Flag away. That's why we're here.

I'll skip the comments, and simply flag

Yay flags!

@DVK Whatever you want. I believe in flagging early and flagging often. But just so you know, I don't always find flags helpful.

@DVK Yay!

@anongoodnurse - That's OK, as long as you're consistent.

@DVK I try my level best.

@bjb568 :D

Don't make me regret asking for flags, now ;-)

arrivederci

OK, afk. Everyone have a good [timeframe]!

I have to get back to researching honeybee gardens.

And watching small children attempt to do karate.

Being a parent has led to some really weird, unexpected things in my life.

Hmph, don't scare the children here :)

Have been afk - watching Eurovision - sounds like chat has been busy!

@Erica - imagine how much fun it is having kids who compete in taekwon do, trampolining, gymnastics etc

Sounds like great fun.

@RoryAlsop Well Karate is just today, there's also ballet and gymnastics and swim team <exhausted!>

@anongoodnurse Mr Erica is going to be getting a beehive in our backyard and half-responsibility for tending a group one a couple miles away, so I'm looking into flowers that pollinators like

It's a good thing though, because I have an excuse to get rid of the pinestraw slash weed patch at the side of the house

@Erica This is very civic minded of Mr. Erica; please send him my respect and admiration for helping to keep bees alive. We actually planted two acres of clover for this very reason, although Mini-anongoodnurse never actually got around to getting the hive(s). :) (But we still have the clover! Growing very well, thank you. Our neighbors talk about us a lot. We are strange people.)

Oh, I also plant Milkweed. Every fall. It's coming up nicely this year already. Sadly, in spite of my persistence in spreading milkweed seeds all over creation every fall, I haven't seen a Monarch butterfly in - I think this summer will be five years. We used to raise and release Monarchs. OMW! IS THAT EVER A FUN PROJECT!!! <--- idea here.)