@anongoodnurse I understand. So back to my question, I just saw your last comment and if I have to be honest I've been thinking about this plenty of times, cutting of the bridge with my parents totally but there is one disadvantage I will feel enormous pain for doing it and for really tough situations they will most likely be the ones who would help me the most.
But still I see other families how they are like friends talk about everything without limiting each other or doing things they are all interested in. As if they were all the same age. This somehow gives me hope I would also like my family to be like this. I don't know what should I do
Now, although I know I am doing this in order to live my life for the better I still feel that I'm the reason why we're getting more and more away from each other
Somehow some feeling of loneliness or idk exactly what is it but it is there and doesn't leave me alone. But the moment I just get back and pretend things are normal or if I beg them to pardon me they will become like before
So, my honest advice is to start setting healthy boundaries to stop their demeaning you - because that is what they are doing, from what you say (especially your father) - and see what happens when you do this. Everyone has a right to live without being dumped on all the time.
Yep. I understand.
It's normal to want to be loved and cherished.
When we don't have that in our lives, there's a big hole there.
I always questioned myself the following: Is it like this really? If I leave things the same I will be loved from them and probably they will be more glad about the things I do but I will eventually go crazy or smth. Or if I don't listen to them and do the thing I'm currently doing(staying away) I will become successfull for sure but this gap you said is somehow still there
(whew) I thought I'm abnormal if this is the word or smth similar (not normal)
I really would like to spend more time with them but I've noticed that when I do I unintentionally without noticing I become a little bit manipulative like them and kind of sometimes don't even notice it
Yeah obviously it is. But I don't want to fully turn back on my parents because like I said they are most likely gooing to be the ones that would help me in my toughest moments and also don't want to become like them
Kind of very confused here, the boundaries solution you mentioned is very nice, I think I've tried it a couple of times but they still say we do this for your own good you can ignore our advices(but they hope I don't) not until I get angry and then they start listening.
They will definatelly give me money. This is the thing they do all the time to comfort themselves. Give me moeny. And this is the exact thing I want them to learn that not money is what I really need from them
Yeah sounds reasonable for me and you and all the other mature people but for them it's going to be like: "look he at least realized that he might need some help" and again will feel that I'm the one that this is happening because of
And most likely again won't do anything to change themselves