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12:00 - 19:0019:00 - 23:00

JNK
12:27 PM
man it is SO MUCH EASIER to check permissions on a user with SMO than TSQL
 
12:47 PM
Great blog post by @PaulWhite on a cardinality estimation bug.
2
There should probably be a link to it from the connect item.
If you don't want to do it yourself I could do it in a comment instead.
 
@MikaelEriksson Oh yes. I meant to do that when it got published.
(Aaron's fault.)
Done
Oh and thanks :)
 
I saw it happen using refresh :). Not exactly instant due to the not so perfor..... connect site.
 
At least you only had to refresh. I had to log in to edit it, which took the usual ages.
2
 
Val
1:26 PM
How can I run SELECT "a" and select "1" , "2" in one shot in SQLite?
I am playing with SQLiteManager in Firefox
I tried UNION but it says me that columns don't match. Which request can run selects one after another?
I tried a semicolon, stackoverflow.com/a/12742226/1083704. This does not produce any error but does not run at all.
 
1:48 PM
@Val What should the output look like?
 
Val
It should look like two tables, one after another. I think Microsoft SQL Analizer did that.
Never mind. I have managed to move along without it.
 
@Val, what are "a", "1" and "2"? Strings? Columns? What is the table's name? or is it 2 tables?
 
If you meant them to be values (strings), try single quotes.
 
Val
Why should I ask single quotes? Do you understand that I have a problem to run two selects at once rather than run a single individual select? What makes you think that I have the quotes issue?
 
@Val Because "1" does not look like a usual column name.
Because you showed no FROM.
So your question shows a limited knowledge on SQL and we want to help.
 
Val
2:04 PM
Why do you need FROM? Do you mean that you cannot answer a question if it is not a 100-line SQL? Is it how you demonstrate the advanced knolwdge?
 
Why don't you answer our questions?
I don't need FROM. I didn't come in here asking questions.
 
Val
Which question? `Because "1" does not look like a usual column name.` is a statement, `Because you showed no FROM.` is a statement, `
So your question shows a limited knowledge on SQL and we want to help` is a statement. Statement = not question. You have no questions to start with. You just
 
I repeat: @Val, what are "a", "1" and "2"? Strings? Columns? What is the table's name? or is it 2 tables?
 
Val
Try in your SQL tool and see.
 
It's amazing how some people think that being rude will help them in the long run.
 
Val
2:07 PM
By demonstrating illiteracy in this respect, hardly you can say that I have a limited knolwdge.
Hardly illiterate people can help me.
 
@Val Glad to hear it.
 
Val
Keep being polite, keep telling that I demonstrate a limited knowledge.
 
@Val It sounds like you want to return a single result set with two different shapes i.e. one column then two columns. Generally this isn't possible, you have to issue two queries then process each result separately. How you did this precisely depends on the engine and driver. I have no idea what special features "SQL Lite" might offer here. I have never used it.
 
@Val I very much doubt @ypercube was calling you stupid. He was simply trying to answer your question. You asked why it wasn't working, and he attempted to answer that by saying you are missing a FROM ... clause in your SQL Statement.
 
Val
Thanks, Paul. This is a kind of response I expexcted in the DBA community.
 
2:15 PM
@Val Judging from a quick look at the support site it seems multiple statements just have to be separated by a semicolon.
> Once you have entered your sql statement(s) into the Enter SQL text box, you can click on the Run SQL button or press ctrl + F12 or ctrl ; (control semicolon) When multiple sql statements are to be run, each sql statement must be terminated by a semicolon.
 
Val
Paul, I have seen and tried the ; as the contatenator. But, it did not succeed in SQLite Manager.
 
@Val Don't know then :) Seems unlikely such a basic thing would be caused by a bug, but as I say, I have no idea what I'm talking about when it comes to sqlite or specific tools like sqlite-manager. Sorry.
I don't even know if any of the regulars in this chat room know sqlite.
On a positive note, I have learned how to spell it today.
 
Val
Do now worry. I have managed to get along without two commands in one request.
 
I thought you knew everything @PaulWhite
much disappoint
 
@bluefeet Perhaps I do now :-D
@RPsql What's wrong with equality? #sqlhelp
Clearly Adam is in philosophical mood today.
 
2:23 PM
@PaulWhite Information collection completed.
 
We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.
 
Now commence destruction so no further knowledge can be made.
 
Val
I can SELECT 1 as 'a' but SELECT 1 as 'a', a says that there is no column "a". How can I refer the virtual column?
Ok, seems nested select works select a from (SELECT 1 as 'a')
 
@Val Possibly the only way in SQLite
 
@Val SELECT 1 as 'a' works but SELECT 1 as 'a' doesn't work?
 
2:31 PM
@billinkc No, the second one was SELECT 1 as 'a', a
 
ah
 
@Val so, you did need a FROM. Amazing how if you would've answered @ypercube's comment instead of insulting him could've helped you
40 mins ago, by ypercube
@Val, what are "a", "1" and "2"? Strings? Columns? What is the table's name? or is it 2 tables?
by the way, @ypercube has to be one of the guys here most willing to help people
8
 
^^^^
 
A lot of people suck at their jobs
And, continuing my Twitter selection for this morning, here's Aaron.
He's right you know.
None of us though. We're all awesome.
4
 
@Val also, you really need to work in your manners:
37 mins ago, by Val
Why should I ask single quotes? Do you understand that I have a problem to run two selects at once rather than run a single individual select? What makes you think that I have the quotes issue?
^^^You actually had to use single quotes too
 
2:36 PM
I wonder... if all people sucked at their jobs, that would be kind of equality and that would be wrong too. There you are, Adam.
2
 
Ooo nice!
 
@PaulWhite except me. i'm not
 
@swasheck Yeah y'are.
 
oooh ... poor form by the new CE ... we may have to look into that query
 
@swasheck shut up, you are awesome and that's the end of the discussion
2
 
2:40 PM
Reminds me of Monty Python.
 
great show
 
This was the first movie I saw as a student (in univ.)
 
Takes me way back too. About time I rewatched it. Again.
 
0
Q: New Tag for SQL Server Installation

ShankyI cannot find specific tag ' SQL Server installation' however there is a tag 'Installation'. If we could create this tag it would be good for users to use this tag to specifically tell this is installation related to SQL Server. It would ease the search as well. Thanks and Reagrds Shanky

 
2:47 PM
@Lamak but you are right about the rest
 
@JackDouglas seems like I have to swallow my words, but anyway, he did end up using single quotes and refused to answer a simple question in a way that I find offensive
49 mins ago, by Val
Why should I ask single quotes? Do you understand that I have a problem to run two selects at once rather than run a single individual select? What makes you think that I have the quotes issue?
sigh I'm a sensitive guy
 
@Lamak well according to the spec you were right on that too
 
@Lamak @Jack is right about the quotes. SQLite is kind of flexible regarding the use of single and double quotes.
 
I'd slap his wrist if I thought it would help, but having read his profile on SO I don't think I'll bother
 
already swallowed my words about that. I stand by the rest of my comments though
 
2:50 PM
> For resilience when confronted with historical SQL statements, SQLite will sometimes **bend the quoting rules** above:

If a keyword in single quotes (ex: 'key' or 'glob') is used in a context where an identifier is allowed but where a string literal is not allowed, then the token is understood to be an identifier instead of a string literal.

If a keyword in double quotes (ex: "key" or "glob") is used in a context where it cannot be resolved to an identifier but where a string literal is allowed, then the token is understood to be a string literal instead of an identifier.
 
@ypercube depending on the exact flavour perhaps?
 
@Lamak It's relatively easy to read more into something written in someone's second/third/nth language than was actually there. Can't say if that was the case here, but it's true nonetheless.
 
@JackDouglas No idea about that.
 
@ypercube ahhh, that explains it!
@PaulWhite it's very true in general
1 hour ago, by Val
I tried UNION but it says me that columns don't match. Which request can run selects one after another?
but this chap (a) has limited knowledge ^^^ and (b) doesn't like it said
 
ok interweb friends ... i need a mechanical turk search for the best/funnies "SHhhhhhh .... testing"-themed image (SFW, please).
 
2:53 PM
@PaulWhite I know, and being a person who doesn't speak english as a first language I understand
 
@Lamak Just what the hell do you mean by that?!?!
(ha ha)
 
@PaulWhite but the comments seemed to be purposely rude
49 mins ago, by Val
Why do you need FROM? Do you mean that you cannot answer a question if it is not a 100-line SQL? Is it how you demonstrate the advanced knolwdge?
46 mins ago, by Val
By demonstrating illiteracy in this respect, hardly you can say that I have a limited knolwdge.
46 mins ago, by Val
Hardly illiterate people can help me.
 
@Lamak Perhaps/probably/don't know. Yes I saw them first time. I'm just not sure it ever helps calling someone out on it. Rudeness is a localized problem that we probably can't help with. And it's off topic :)
OTOH it's also good to vent and not bottle things up so I'm probably talking rubbish.
 
@Lamak who is this user
 
@JackDouglas Who does ;-)
 
2:55 PM
@PaulWhite @swasheck!
 
LOL! Yeah but he's exceptional
 
though in his case it isn't true :)
 
clearly
 
clearly
 
@PaulWhite I'm sensitive, ok? (joking). In any case, I can move on when people is being rude to me, but I get really mad when people is being rude to another person who is trying to help
 
2:56 PM
 
so, sorry everyone for making a scene here
 
@JackDouglas Seems unnecessarily limiting.
 
@Kermit don't know. He came and asked something
 
@Lamak you are a room owner, you get to keep order in here if you want to.
@PaulWhite it does doesn't it :)
 
@Lamak No need to apologise for anything. Just discussing it.
 
2:59 PM
@JackDouglas Is a 4 pack the standard UK beer selling quantity?
 
@JackDouglas Presumably it's ok to drink it in the shop doorway? Also, isn't WHSmith a stationery shop?
 
I've seen 4 packs here but that usually for fancy beers but since I see Fosters there, clearly that's not the case
 
"A ream of A4 and a bottle of Old Tranquilizer please."
 
@billinkc I'd say so, not that I buy a lot of beer
 
@PaulWhite Drink enough and it won't be stationary ba-dum-tish
Curious, here in murica it's 6/12/24 packs of our beer flavoured water
 
3:00 PM
Hey I spelled it correctly.
 
@billinkc i've seen 18 packs
 
Four beers is the most any Englishman can drink. In a year.
 
@PaulWhite that was at a motorway service station though, those sell beer too ;)
 
@JackDouglas Of course. Why wouldn't they. Sigh.
 
@swasheck I got nothing
 
3:02 PM
no worries
 
3:14 PM
Damn NZ, you scary
 
weta weta weta
 
@billinkc wow, some of those things in the comments freak me out
 
Never read the comments (tm)
 
I hate the house centipede.
We get tons of those fuckers. I hate that if you don't smash their whole body their two ends will just run away.
 
Oh gross.
 
3:22 PM
My biggest fear is that when they are on the ceiling and I smash one it will split and fall on my face.
 
People vote differently on meta, I'm just pointing that out. On main, downvotes mean "you shouldn't have asked that question here", on meta they just mean "I don't agree". I'm not saying that's good or bad, it is however a fact and knowing it can prevent misunderstandings. — Jack Douglas ♦ 1 min ago
@Zane that sounds nasty
 
@Zane Or that someone/thing else will smash one above your head while you're sleeping. And snoring with your mouth open. You're welcome.
 
what is that?
 
according to the comment a house centipede
 
3:26 PM
Inspect element Deleted!.
Oh yeah.
 
oh right
 
@Zane That's a neat trick. Thanks!
 
@Lamak is that your pet, Sparky?
 
I hate them. My house has them so bad it's ridiculous. The worst is when they scurry by before you can kill them and then you know. It's out there. Somewhere.
 
no pets with more than 4 legs allowed
@Zane waiting
 
3:29 PM
@Zane you mean the one that's in your laundry ?
 
@Kermit Nah the dog lays on my laundry so they don't go there.
 
lol
 
JNK
@Zane terminix buddy
best money I ever spent
 
@JNK I did one of those sprays around the house and that has kept the Ants at bay.
 
JNK
3:32 PM
@Zane yeah get a pro
I did that myself too
til it no longer worked
I had SERIOUS ant problems and I live in the woods
It's like $100 a quarter
but they come out as many times as you want
 
@Zane i have a few these around the house
They catch everything other than mice.. including centipedes
 
What's SQL-Server-PDW?
 
Parallel Data Warehouse
 
So I found out today not all laptops can turn into a tablet @HP #BendTheRules https://vine.co/v/MQOOJ30jvLn
 
@PaulWhite dba.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/sql-server-pdw excellent now go churn out a tag-wiki ;-)
@Kermit hahahaha, why would someone do that to a laptop?
 
3:42 PM
I would but I know little more than the acronym expansion. I'll mention it to Rob Farley, he's a PDW expert and site contributor.
 
@PaulWhite oh excellent thanks
@JackDouglas @JNK @aaronbertrand just FYI i.imgur.com/Z8DhXXO.png
 
@jcolebrand marketing
 
@Kermit maybe
 
I'm also telling you that I will synonymize it if I ever see it. — jcolebrand ♦ 9 mins ago
^ aha! ^
 
I went ahead and cut the legs off the argument
 
3:46 PM
That "if" certainly wasn't an "if and only if"...
 
now, someone point me at that next tag that needs collecting ;-)
I have a burn and turn mood on today
 
@jcolebrand Nicely done. I had to go look because my first look at the image left me with the impression you had created the tags!
 
@Lamak Wetas are pretty much harmless - essentially big crickets.
Auckland has centipedes - like Merkin house centipedes they're fairly benign and just eat other critters.
 
@PaulWhite I'm confused. I thought @jcolebrand did create them (specifically as tag synonyms).
 
@AndriyM He created synonyms just in case the tags were ever created.
 
3:54 PM
@PaulWhite Ah, I see, I understood "tags" in your message in a wider sense (as in "tags proper and their synonyms), don't know why.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells yeah, they look harmless
 
Unless you're a carrot
 
Alright now y'all, let's play nice.
I don't wanna put the room on a half hour suspension or anything
<-- spoilsport
<-- gotta play mod and keep things happy nice
 
What's going on? Did someone yawn? Has the whole row begun to doze? Please be nice to music classically composed
 
3:59 PM
I'm still in a turn and burn mood tho, so line stuff up for me ;-)
 
APPLES AND BANANAS
 
@Shanky Chill bro, it's just humour :)
 
@Paul white :) thanks I have muich better than you and I would not like you do do that. You dont know if I start making synonyms that would be BAD
 
To anyone who flags comments on chat: remember that (flagging) can lead to the suspension of the user (who made the comment.)
 
@Shanky Ok fine. It's been removed anyway.
 
4:02 PM
I did that in the past, didn't know this, and it didn't feel good.
 
i step away for 20 minutes and this place deteriorates into name-calling with poo-flinging monkeys.
 
well you should not do then right ?
 
Postgres has Exclusion constraints though (since version 9.0) which solve the specific problem nicely. — ypercube 9 mins ago
Another interesting Postgres feature.
 
schemaverse.com <--- looks like a fun way for my 10-year-old to learn postgres
 
it's getting to the point where our Exadata DBAs are longingly looking at postgres
 
4:06 PM
@Shanky we do what we want, when we want
 
@swasheck It does have a lot of handy language features.
 
@kermit Same goes here wanna test
 
@PaulWhite yeah. it does.
 
@Shanky sure. TEST
 
@swasheck Honestly I think Microsoft have given up on T-SQL. I'm ok with that as a strategic decision, but I do envy some PG features.
 
4:09 PM
@PaulWhite here's one
9
Q: How to preserve the original order of elements in an unnested array?

swasheckGiven the string: 'I think that PostgreSQL is nifty' I would like to operate on the individual words found within that string. Essentially, I have a separate from which I can get word details and would like to join an unnested array of that string on this dictionary. So far I have: selec...

@PaulWhite what do you mean by "given up?" like no new features?
or new features with a half-way implementation
 
@swasheck Pretty much, yes. Or very limited extensions plus support for new engine features of course.
Ha. Don't get me started on v1 implementations. Like column store in 2012. Or Hekaton in 2014.
 
so shifting focus to engine features and BI delivery at the expense of a robust language?
 
@swasheck I'm not sure T-SQL could ever have been described as a "robust language". It does the basics well enough, sort of, I suppose.
 
hahahahahah. fair enough
4
Q: What does “balls” mean as a reply word or interjection?

Yoichi OishiHere’s a question again in the Jeffery Archer’s “The Prodigal Daughter.” The heroin of the novel, Florentina Kane’s husband, Richard finds in the Wall Street in a morning that Jake Thomas, Chairman of Lester Bank took a counter measure to block Richard’s cornering the stocks of the bank with an a...

 
@PaulWhite Robust compared to plenty of other things. cough*SSIS*cough
 
4:13 PM
@PaulWhite no --- but some things within the language are more robust than others
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells A wet paper bag is robust compared with SSIS :)
 
@PaulWhite I'd agree with that, but I've seen worse cough*OWB*cough.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells OWB?
 
@PaulWhite Oracle Warehouse Builder - an ETL tool so bad that even Larry was compelled to replace it.
 
LOL. and wow.
 
4:16 PM
It uses a code generation architecture (a bit like Wherescape Red) and manages to combine the worst aspects of strong typing with no type safety at all - i.e. you have to manually ensure your metadata all lines up correctly.
And its diagnostics are only marginally less obtuse and unhelpful than SSIS.
And did I mention the mapping editor is written in Java and still manages to be unusably slow - even on modern PCs?
 
Sounds truly awesome. With added Java goodness.
 
@PaulWhite Yes. And for extra fun, run it with an active realtime AV monitor on your computer.
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells oh, yeah. OWB, what a PITA
 
And the PL/SQL code it generated was frightening - and often necessary to go digging around in to troubleshoot what was wrong with the ETL.
I can't think of a product more broken by design than OWB - at least not off the top of my head.
2
 
@PaulWhite knock knock
 
4:24 PM
@swasheck Who's there?
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells any virus scanner would likely give it a run for Larry's money
 
@PaulWhite java
 
@ConcernedOfTunbridgeWells I'm so happy to be able to say I've never had the displeasure.
@swasheck Java who?
 
...
..
...
@PaulWhite java runtime
 
Hahahahahaha
fantastic
 
4:25 PM
the effect is better when it's in person. you just wait and wait and wait and wait
 
evening chappers
 
OMG I'm 3 years older than Paul Randal.
@SQLDBA donating double red cells. But now that you mention it, a lot of the staff are pale and have fangs, and the shades are drawn.
LOL
 
just unacceptable
Thanks, bluefeet, for the reference -- but my previous implementations all looked something like that and it just wasn't acceptable. — user3042783 1 hour ago
welp, don't concatenate multiple rows
 
JNK
@PaulWhite Three years SMARTER you mean
 
I wish.
So, you don't need to express your opinion if you cannot do it in a polite manner. Also, it is usually better to wait until the OP clarifies their intent. — dezso 3 mins ago
Agreed.
 
4:43 PM
oh thanks, I was to drop it in here
and a good afternoonmorningevening to everyone
 
I still have no idea what the question is asking though, even after the edit
 
JNK
@dezso Commented on it
 
@JNK thanks
 
@PaulWhite They self answered.
Apparently, they needed to GROUP BY mod(column,2) instead of GROUP BY column. Not really obvious.
 
@ypercube Oh, thanks!
@JNK Nice work.
 
4:53 PM
@JNK @dezso I had thought that the downvote was because the answer was wrong.
Hadn't noticed the "Huh? That should it be easy" line.
 
@ypercube well, the answer was wrong, the OP stated which columns should be affected...
 
Yes, the change on SELECT couldn't be the solution.
 
 
2 hours later…
6:40 PM
crickets
again
 
JNK
?
 
it's very quiet in here... again
it has been lately
 
yeah
 
What'd I miss this morning? Seems scandalous!
 
@bluefeet it's because @AaronBertrand is in here less and less
 
6:44 PM
Sorry I've been super swamped. Will be out next week too (lake vacation)
 
you dont have to apologize. :)
i was just making an observation. correlation != causation :)
 
Yes he does.
A beaker-less heap is a sad heap.
 
certainly a less-entertaining heap
 
I do feel bad, I rather enjoy shooting the shit with you folks, much more sane than most things outside of here.
 
JNK
honestly I've just been busy
 
6:50 PM
And you've turned up just as we've all run out of awesome things to say.
 
JNK
There's a giant project sort of lumbering along I've been working on
 
@AaronBertrand One fun thing you might like to do is tease Greg about how easy parameter sniffing problems are to miss.
Oh, and word of the day is shonky
 
@PaulWhite blocked
 
@bluefeet Inevitably. See above.
 
6:57 PM
@PaulWhite lovely
 
SELECT CASE WHEN a.IsActive = 1 THEN b.Amount WHEN a.IsActive=0 AND a.CancelDate BETWEEN b.EffectiveDate and DATEADD(d, 1, b.CanelDate) THEN b.Amount ELSE 0 END As Amount FROM A LEFT OUTER JOIN B on A.guid = B.guid
Ignoring the between and the function applied to it... if I were trying to optimize an index for table A in this join, can it be done?
 
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