The Frying Pan

I believe the issue here is that a noun or pronoun + a form of have can only be contracted if the noun or pronoun is the subject of this form of have. That means have has to be a finite verb, not an infinitive, for infinitives normally don't have a proper subject. How could I've done this bet...

Jolenealaska

I think I startled the hell out of the Cat man!

HEY!!

LOL

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus yo

Jolenealaska

You keep coming up this week!

Cerberus

Do I, now?

Jolenealaska

Damndest thing.

Cerberus

2:14 PM

I saw your comment on me in ELL, nice.

Jolenealaska

Oh come on, surely you have looked through your pings by now.

Yes

You know how fond I am of you, I think :-)

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska I've.

Jolenealaska

Oh no.

Cerberus

Your wedding picture was very nice.

Jolenealaska

Don't even.

Thank you!

Cerberus

2:15 PM

What've I done?

Jolenealaska

You brought up I've.

It's a sore subject

I've?

Yes

I didn't know I'd.

Smartass

2:16 PM

you know what I like? I like how StackExchange Inc essentially pays for a chat room for me, jojo, cerb, rumi, cindy and faheem, with the occasional guest

Jolenealaska

Cooler than shit

ElendilTheTall

sure, other people stop by, but we get a vast majority of the usage out of it

Jolenealaska

Thank you SE!

I'm not sure I say that often enough.

ElendilTheTall

a while back they also sent free stuff to the top ten users

I got cooking stuff and photography stuff

Jolenealaska

I certainly didn't say that on ELU today.

Cerberus

2:17 PM

Yay!

I still have the EL&U t-shirt.

Which has...a typo.

ElendilTheTall

I sleep in the t-shirts

Cerberus

Stackchange.

ElendilTheTall

and I still have the Sharpies

Cerberus

I have slept in it too!

But it is coming apart now.

ElendilTheTall

for SA they sent out the world's tiniest aprons

Cerberus

2:18 PM

Cute...

ElendilTheTall

they were normal sized but about 2 feet too short

it's the kind of apron a maid would wear with nothing else in a porn film

remind me to send it to you, jojo

:D

Cerberus

Well, well...

Jolenealaska

Dragon just sent me to Google again

Cerberus

Bad dragon. Spank it.

Jolenealaska

The bright side is that it required a detour through main.

I have a bunch of upvotes to sort through

I love it when that happens

I wasn't even all that prolific today, just witty.

IMO

ElendilTheTall

2:22 PM

look at that... SAJ is still 11th from top this month, even though he hasn't answered anything for at least a year

Jolenealaska

we just talked about that

Cerberus

Yay!

So are you "typing" all of this with Dragon, no hands?

Jolenealaska

he rubbed it in

relentlessly

yes

Cerberus

Cool!

Even "enter"?

Jolenealaska

this shit rocks

ElendilTheTall

2:23 PM

he is the SA equivalent of working like a demon until your thirties, then retiring to your yacht

Cerberus

And why don't you always start with a capital?

Jolenealaska

no, I use the mouse to send, but only because I'm too lazy to look for the M

Tall pointed it out to me.

I am ambivalent

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus no, to do that you have to finish the sentence with "Dragon: please be so good as to enter the unicode character for a carriage return. Thank you."

Jolenealaska

snort

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Try "new line".

ElendilTheTall

2:24 PM

do you actually snort and it translates, or are you sitting there saying 'snort'?

Cerberus

Or "press enter".

Jolenealaska

now that I can do it to all I been easy I can do that one

ElendilTheTall

:P

Jolenealaska

m

ElendilTheTall

nuance.com/naturallyspeaking/pdf/DNS_command_quick_sheet.pdf

Jolenealaska

2:25 PM

I can do every piece of punctuation that I have thought of|thus far.

Even…

Cerberus

Nice!

Jolenealaska

I have a bit of an advantage there.

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall Right, both "new line" and "press enter" should work here...

Jolenealaska

many many times as a very very a child, I heard my dad do dictation to a secretary through a tape recorder.

He talked exactly the same way.

ElendilTheTall

this is clever: 'Delete from <text> to <text>'

Jolenealaska

2:26 PM

I didn't remember it, until it was relevant.

ElendilTheTall

'Give me help'

Jolenealaska

:)

it's like prayer dude

ElendilTheTall

'Send ~~pizza~~ hookers'

Jolenealaska

damn shit works!

I am more interested right now in pizza than hookers

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Does the "new line" stuff work here?

Jolenealaska

2:28 PM

but the day is young

yes

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska again, you're no fun ;)

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall We can use Dragon on our phones too...

Jolenealaska

snort

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Great!

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus yes

so can jojo

Cerberus

2:29 PM

Yeah.

Jolenealaska

I have thought of that too!

ElendilTheTall

Google's is pretty good actually

Cerberus

Everybody kept saying Google's thingy was better.

And I never use speech recognition on my phone anyway.

Jolenealaska

being able to pace with this will be life-changing

Cerberus

But I do use Swype every day, also owned by Nuance, and it is great. It has a Dragon button.

Jolenealaska

2:30 PM

I will get my bluetooth headset in a day or two

ElendilTheTall

woo, 68-3

Cerberus

You will be the mistress of the Internet!

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus i use swiftkey

i just prefer its spelling correction

Jolenealaska

okay @Cerberus, how good are you?

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus she already is...www.mistressjojo.com

(NSFW, natch)

Jolenealaska

2:31 PM

what did Tall just say?

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall I have used Swiftkey, but Swype had better auto-correction, and it has more than 3 options for manual correction. And recently it has been improved a great deal.

Jolenealaska

Not that!! :)

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus hmmm, I'll have to check it out, I have paid for it so I can just redownload

Cerberus

> I won't pot up with this.

Will be automatically corrected to this:

> I won't put up with this.

Jolenealaska

:)

the auto corrections have already pissed me off a few times.

Dammit listen to what I say!

Cerberus

2:33 PM

But only after you have typed "up", or perhaps even only after "with": it can correct words that you typed several words ago, and it does it correctly 98% of the time!

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus pff, swiftkey will do that too

Cerberus

Are you sure?

Jolenealaska

it doesn't help either when I'm laughing my ass off.

ElendilTheTall

I text mrs the tall, every day, 'On the train', when I get on the train

Cerberus

I have never seen Swiftkey do that retroactively.

Based on words that come after the word in question.

Jolenealaska

2:33 PM

I'll be right back

ElendilTheTall

now when I type 'o' the first word it suggests is on, then it suggests the, then it suggests train

(actually now I have made an app that sends that text when I press one button, but you catch my drift)

Cerberus

Oh, sure, Swype has that too. But it is less useful. Still kind of nice occasionally, but not as useful as what I have just described.

ElendilTheTall

well, I'm downloading it

we shall see

Cerberus

Oh!

I still have Switkey installed.

ElendilTheTall

it better have a white, material-esque theme

Cerberus

2:35 PM

Hehe.

ElendilTheTall

I don't want no black and orange

Cerberus

It has various themes.

ElendilTheTall

pfff 'English (UK)'

as if that shouldn't be the default

Cerberus

I know!

ElendilTheTall

Here goes,

Cerberus

2:37 PM

Silly Irish and there software.

ElendilTheTall

Testing testing one two three

Jolenealaska

Jeff Dunham - Peanut - "NYEWM"

►

ElendilTheTall

Hmm, need to enable vibration

Cerberus

Are you swiping? Swype is meant for swiping words, I have no idea how well pecking works.

ElendilTheTall

I need haptic !

Cerberus

2:38 PM

As we like to call it.

ElendilTheTall

I prefer thumb pecking

Cerberus

Long-press the Swype key (I know, I know).

Jolenealaska

I have said that so many times! (Hmm, need to enable vibration)

It's like you know

Cerberus

@ElendilTheTall Perhaps you should give swiping another chance, because it is really faster if you get used to it!

ElendilTheTall

Ok, that's better

Cerberus

2:39 PM

For one-handed typing, swiping is unbeatable.

ElendilTheTall

Hmmm. Where's my exclamation mark?

Jolenealaska

Snort

ElendilTheTall

@Cerberus sure. but usually I type two handed

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska What use is it without vibration?

ElendilTheTall

ah, this is why i didn't get on with it

Jolenealaska

2:39 PM

double snort

ElendilTheTall

in Swiftkey, I can swipe up and right from the full stop and it gives me an exclamation mark

Jolenealaska

Sometimes I'm laughing so hard I can't talk!

ElendilTheTall

in Swype you have to switch the whole keyboard over

Cerberus

Swype from x to space.

ElendilTheTall

fuck me for using expressive punctuation right?!

Cerberus

2:40 PM

@ElendilTheTall You don't!

Either long-press x, or swipe from x to space.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska i know you so well

Yes

Hmmm!

Snort

That will take a bit of getting.is ed to!

Cerberus

2:41 PM

Understandably so.

ElendilTheTall

Why do I keep on hitting the full stop?

Cerberus

But I applaud you for giving it a chance.

ElendilTheTall

Perhaps if I turn off the mic key

Cerberus

Perhaps because you are used to a different keyboard layout?

The mike key is the Dragon thingy...

Jolenealaska

Have you guys ever noticed (of course you have) that sometimes this room is a game of one-upsmanship?

ElendilTheTall

2:42 PM

There we go, the space bar is bigger now

Cerberus

I have it turned off too.

Jolenealaska

I am not going to correct that.

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Any room is!

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska I noticed that before you did!

Jolenealaska

Only because I now type better.

ElendilTheTall

2:43 PM

no, i mean the one-upmanship thing... it was a joke... never mind

Jolenealaska

Snort

Cerberus

Careful, now, lest Dragon autocorrect any word you type into snort...

ElendilTheTall

of course, the game is futile as I am obviously the uppermost man

Jolenealaska

That has simply become the fastest thing I can say.

ElendilTheTall

as it were

@Jolenealaska you should bind it to a hotkey, it would be quicker than saying it ;)

Jolenealaska

2:44 PM

I'm impressed as hell with :-)

But it takes a lot longer.

Thank you Mr. smartass.

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska can it recognise 'puzzled bewilderment with a hint of awe'?

Jolenealaska

Snort

ElendilTheTall

you seem positively obsessed with my ass today

I don't blame you, but I have to say it's making me feel uncomfortable ;)

Jolenealaska

Maybe if I had ever ever seen it, I wouldn't be so curious.

ElendilTheTall

I'm not just a fantastic ass and a selection of witty comments damn it! Stop objectifying me!

Jolenealaska

2:46 PM

I am laughing so hard I can barely breathe.

Quit it!!

And Dragon keeps saying to me, "please say that again"

ElendilTheTall

"You appear to be having an asthma attack. Calm your tits"

Jolenealaska

So @Cerberus, did you catch up on the ELL gossip?

I mean I mean other than what you've already mentioned?

You popped in and out of conversation for like two hours

Snailboat said, "oh, I know him!"

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska he still hasn't told you what I said up there ^

Jolenealaska

I've noticed

ElendilTheTall

98-3 now

he's a slippery one

Jolenealaska

2:51 PM

Yes I've noticed that too!

Or a slippery three?

I think he's looking.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it.

The silence is deafening

ElendilTheTall

or he's just gone again

Cerberus

@Jolenealaska Oh, anything specific I should know?

@ElendilTheTall Huh, wha?

Jolenealaska

You kill me with that.

You're like a cipher

It's extraordinary

Cerberus

Who, what, where?

Jolenealaska

No, there isn't anything you should know. You just make me smile.

And I have shared that feeling with friends.

And I'm not talking about tall.

He already knew.

But there is a question on the table.

Cerberus

2:57 PM

Um haha.

I see.

What question?

Jolenealaska

98-3 now

ElendilTheTall

103-3

Jolenealaska

Your interpretation?

FFS

ElendilTheTall

lol

that happens

Jolenealaska

I'm familiar with the phenomenon.

Even if the details befuddle me.

ElendilTheTall

2:59 PM

lol

it's really not that bad

no worse than your version

it's just the terminology is somewhat more archaic

Jolenealaska

It wouldn't be, if I looked into it!

:)

This is worse than Star Wars.

ElendilTheTall

everything is worse than Star Wars

Jolenealaska

I'll bring the duct tape

Yes

ElendilTheTall

now you're talking!

Jolenealaska

Snort

I really enjoy being on this side of the equation.

Oh @Cerberus, come on!!

Cerberus

3:02 PM

Is this some kind of riddle?

Jolenealaska

I know you can do it!

YES!!

Cerberus

I see numbers.

Jolenealaska

ElendilTheTall

@Jolenealaska yeeeees, join me on the Dark Side of being a total know-all

Jolenealaska

You ARE your mother!

Cerberus

3:05 PM

You seem to be counting something?

A match?

Jolenealaska

hmmm...

no

no math involved

hmmm???

ding??

A wee bit closer!

And it's @Cerberus for the win!

Cerberus

Oh, I thought I had three points, one for each head.

Jolenealaska

Snort

But no

You're so close

Cerberus

I have to go soon, by the way, a wedding...

Jolenealaska

Oh for fuck sake

Cerberus

3:07 PM

If there is no counting, then I have absolutely no idea what this is about.

I am very bad at riddles.

Jolenealaska

Tall what do you think?

Cerberus

Problems, yes, but no riddles.

Jolenealaska

OK

If you come up with the word sport baseball cribbage or rivalry, I would've given it to you

He is watching cribbage, and tormenting me with it because I don't know jack.

Cerberus

Lindy is?

I think cribbage is a card game?

Jolenealaska

Yes

ElendilTheTall

3:09 PM

He could have solved it just by reading a bit...

Cerberus

Similar to Rummicub?

Jolenealaska

Now no cricket I'm sorry

Cricket like baseball

Only British

And befuddling

Cerberus

Ah, I was right, the card game.

Jolenealaska

Snort

Well at least I can put away the duct tape

ElendilTheTall

It's not befuddling dang it

Jolenealaska

3:10 PM

I'll save it for another day

ElendilTheTall

Again, no fun

:-)

Jolenealaska

Snort

And now that we have completely annoyed Cerby, do you have any other plans for the next few minutes?

Cerberus

You've not annoyed me.

I am discussing presents for the wedding I'm going to tonight.

Jolenealaska

Snort, I sure as hell hope not

I would be very disillusioned.

ElendilTheTall

I'm walking to my train

Jolenealaska

3:13 PM

Damn, I haven't even cleaned, or slept.

Okay this is me logging off for now.

I will be back.

It's your Friday night, isn't it?

ElendilTheTall

Yup

Jolenealaska

Well, I should have stories next time we talk.

ElendilTheTall

It's your Christmas morning right?

Jolenealaska

hmmm.... In what sense??

Joking (I think)

ElendilTheTall

Yes

Jolenealaska

3:18 PM

In two hours I meet with my landlord. Immediately after that I will text as promised my dad. In 36 hours or so I will meet Marv.

ElendilTheTall

Maybe I carried the one incorrectly

Jolenealaska

So, yeah

It is open to interpretation.

I think you know that Christmas has very little meaning to me as a date.

However, it can be an interesting concept.

And it's 7:20 AM.

My landlord will be here at 9 AM.

So

I'll see you sir

And you sir

Soon

Good night

ElendilTheTall

Night hon

Jolenealaska

5:30 PM

It is now 930. No landlord yet. No phone call yet. I was kind sort of hoping to be done by now.

ElendilTheTall

5:57 PM

@Jolenealaska tut

How unprofessional

Jolenealaska

6:17 PM

Well, that was hell.

I don't know the answers yet, she's going to send me an email.

She needs to talk with her contractor, and then she's going to send me an email.

I'll forward the email to my dad, and cross my fingers.

I've texted my dad I expect a phone call from him any minute. Or later.

At any rate, I think I'm going to try to sleep.

She was an hour later than I expected.

This is after her rescheduling yesterday's appointment for today, I guess it's neither here nor there now.

Good night so to speak.

If nothing else, she sounded genuinely kind.

And she said more than a few times something to the effect of "Well, it wasn't the Taj Mahal to begin with"

She also said "normal wear and tear" a few times. So I rest.

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