The DMZ

7:15 AM

Morning

7:40 AM

@LucasKauffman s/gents/ghent/ I thought you were doing belgian places :op

@M'vy mornin'

7:55 AM

snellman.net/blog/archive/… <-- nice story on computing archaeology should make @RoryAlsop feel right at home :)

SilverlightFox

8:15 AM

Morn

watcha'

TildalWave

@RоryMcCune doing them? :O like one lonely hausfrau at the time? sheesh! :D

erm, one lonely hausfrau's router at the time, of course

@AviD slacker!

8:32 AM

the downsides of not sanitizing your tabs before closing your browser for bed is you wake up the next day and open up your browser to fulfill the social media part of your life and suddenly bam, chat is back

fml

@kalina yay chat \o/

or are we disctracting you from your latest "duff duff duff" age

Adi

@AviD It's pretty close

@RoryA @schroeder Thanks for the info. That will help me explain it to the customer better

@RоryMcCune Finn detected

hey @RoryAlsop I have a bone to pick with you. I picked your "Rocking" spotify playlist for this mornings music, put it on shuffle play and what do I get.... Ice Ice baby!!!

I mean.. vanilla ice...

8:53 AM

Hahahahaha - brilliant

That's a classic - tell me you never learned the breakdown rap...

@RoryAlsop I am not going to confirm what teenage me thought of Vanilla Ice

heck I have a rep. to protect!

@RoryAlsop I never learned the breakdown rap

but I do know all of the words to every spice girls track ever

I suspect that makes us even

@RоryMcCune nothing can distract me more than my lack of sleep

I suspect you can age people quite closely based on what crap pop they know all the words to :)

@kalina that would make us even... If I didn't also know them

@RoryAlsop is that so if you ever need to embarrass your kids you can put it on in the car and sing along?

9:02 AM

@RoryAlsop well I have a justifiable reason for knowing all of those lyrics, no doubt you're about to blame your daughter as your reason for knowing...

My kids will sing anything from Atomic Kitten to Coal Chamber

@RoryAlsop A to C is not much musical coverage

My reason is that I always fancied Emma Bunton. Looked exactly like my wife

@kalina pffft

Eilin is learning a bunch of Lacuna Coil songs currently

think of all of the awesome that exists in the D to Z artists

Dario G and Enya and Foo Fighters and Girls Aloud and Hanson and ...

Dario G - wow.

I do have an album by Zao. They are like Ethereal Scourge, only less melodic

Ethereal Scourge, you ask? A bit like a less melodic Fields Of The Nephilim

9:08 AM

@RoryAlsop that's .. descriptive

I only have it because a friend who loves death metal said it's too heavy for him. I sort of like the intro on one of their tracks, but other than that I use it to scare people

Like having a playlist that has B*Witched and then Zao...

inaya day and janet jackson and kesha and lady gaga and maroon 5 and n-trance and orbital and paul van dyk and qattara and ...

That took you a while - nip out for coffee, didja? ;-p

no I started typing and got distracted

looked back and was like oh I was in the middle of typing a sentence

Lol

S is the big one. Out of 37k tracks on my car stereo, nearly 10% are by bands beginning with an S

9:12 AM

REM and s club 7 and take that and usher and vengaboys and wham and Xzibit and Yazz & the plastic population and ...

actually I don't know an artist beginning with z off the top of my head

Z Z Top!

"who?"

Zao

actually who?

Zombies

Zebrahead

That's my Z's finished

9:14 AM

Zutons!

Oh, of course

@RoryAlsop It's a shame how their most popular track they nicked off Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse of course...

their*

@kalina - turns out Zao are a Christian Metal core band (according to Wikipedia)

religion is for the uneducated

9:16 AM

Theiyrr'e

@kalina there there

Turns out they may have more tuneful stuff - the album I have is described as " their most experimental and darkest album "

#000 is forthcoming on my label Big Record Label Machine and is my darkest album yet

Can I get a signed copy please. Signed "from Taylor with hugs" :-)

pls, I sign my name as tay♥

9:22 AM

@kalina that kind of a prince/symbol deal?

no it's a ridiculously girly heart drawn in an overly elaborate manner that's far more unique than the signature it sits next to

Hahahaha

it's literally what I spent my entire time at school perfecting

Named after a river in Scotland

Math period 1, spent: drawing hearts at high speed

French period 2, spent: drawing hearts at higher speed

9:24 AM

If you had a recognisable bit in the middle of your songs, you could call it the Tay Bridge

English period 3, spent: smoking a joint behind the bike shed

Biology period 4, spent: drawing penises in school books

Lol

@kalina well at least that's vaguely on-topic

@RоryMcCune well all the pictures were missing penises so I figured I was helping

granted it's not anatomically correct for them to be on the head

but c'est la vie, was 10

"you drew hearts all over your assignment"

draws hearts all over @TerryChia

with a scalpel

...to save coloring them in

@kalina Why is there an assignment under your hearts?

9:28 AM

@kalina well that took a turn for the dark

Terry Chia

@kalina What?

@TerryChia what?

@kalina have you been affected by Llamas with Hats?

well no, I have no need to eat hands

or faces

Terry Chia

@kalina has gone full @Simon today.

9:30 AM

:o

I guess I need a prolonged period of away to recalibrate then

I had hoped merely blocking him would save me

@TerryChia Does @Simon also have a habit of drawing stuff on you?

Terry Chia

@Arperum Oh god, hell no.

@TerryChia sounds more like full @LucasKauffman

@kalina not intending to create a meat dragon?

no, the thing I want to create is basically impossible

if I ever succeeded the universe would implode

@RоryMcCune A meat dragon sounds like a fun pet.

9:36 AM

@Arperum I am just going to sit here on your lap, you can touch me as inappropriately as you'd like but be aware that I have a scalpel

I might actually try that

I wonder what would happen

now I just need to find somebody would sell me a scalpel

I guess a box knife would do

I think introducing you to llamas with hats was a mistake

well, it's your mistake

true

"where did it all go wrong?"

"well, some guy on the internet introduced me to llamas with hats and then the next day I woke up a murderer"

@kalina Not all that much probably. I tend to not assault people.

9:43 AM

"I always knew the internet was the source of all violence"

"yes because violence never existed before the internet or video games or late night tv or your mom"

Violence didn't exist before @Rory, so he is to blame for it.

nothing existed before @Rory

that means blame @Rory for all the things

basically, it doesn't matter what I do

because in the end, it's all @Rory's fault

I'm glad we're blaming @rory and not me :)

all Rories are ultimately the same person at different points in time

just because @RoryAlsop has been through the universe a few more times than you does not mean you're not the same person or that you're not to blame

@kalina but I wasn't getting @ 'd there so it can't be me :)

9:47 AM

that's because in the split in the timeline caused by your decision to rename

@RоryMcCune @Rоry @Rory @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry @Rоry

that same split is also responsible for World War 2

There, got pinged now.

@Arperum that's me, but not him :)

basically, @RоryMcCune is directly responsible for genocide

9:48 AM

@kalina well this escalated ...

@RоryMcCune Wrong! That's both of you!

I know, just a simple choice to become unpingable ruined the world as we knew it

I hope you can live with yourself

@Arperum pfftbt editor

@kalina I'll try

how do I test a smtp service on windows that requires tls

@kalina ncat would work I reckon

9:51 AM

on linux you'd just openssl s_client -starttls bla bla bla bla blawork but that doesn't work on windows and I don't want to relearn loads of stuff just to see if this mail server is working

@kalina nmap.org/ncat/guide/ncat-tricks.html

but basically you can connect to an SSL wrapped service using ncat pretty easily

I think 'ncat -C --ssl <host> <port>' should work

euuuuuugh it has more than 15 words to read, attention span queue length exceeded

delegates task

that one-liner will work fine

and you can get a nice easy installer for windows from nmap.org

maybe, but the download page doesn't have a big flashing "click here to download"

@kalina nmap.org/dist/nmap-6.49BETA4-setup.exe

9:54 AM

I used to enjoy this stuff and I just... don't... anymore

@kalina I just hit 20 years in professional IT/security stuff.. some of it's still interesting, some less so..

@RоryMcCune mumbles something about waiting two minutes

@RоryMcCune <some comment along the lines of your spending as much time in your field of expertise as I have ish being alive>

@kalina don't worry that was implied :)

and if that doesn't make you feel old I have a couple of others

9:59 AM

@kalina I'm good for old comments I think , thanks :)

very welcome

let me know if you ever need topping up

it's holidaymas soon

@kalina will do

@kalina ...

more corporate manipulation to ensure the rich stay rich and the poor take out more credit

another interesting fact about holidaymas

@simon's mom took the christ out of christmas and added more mass

@kalina I thought that was next week, when the new iPhones get released

@RоryMcCune do I look like the kind that keeps up on iDevice announcements?

10:02 AM

@kalina yes?

in that I have no idea what you look like, so it's possible

DJ's are meant to like apple kit

so it seems probable that you do look like someone who would

psh

it's not really that DJs like Apple kit, it just used to be more exclusive and was generally better built than the alternatives

whereas now it's neither exclusive or anywhere near as well built

it's certainly not better built than alternatives

guess I'm having pizza for dinner

@kalina mmm pizza

10:18 AM

apparently killing people with box knifes is an actual thing

how disturbing

weaponize all the things

now we just need to work out how to weaponize love

I suppose love is already weaponized if you use it o manipulate people

Stack Exchange

The xkcd Survey: Big Data for a Big Planet

@StackExchange "Which of these can you do reasonably well?"

"Do you eat condiments directly out of the fridge as a snack?" er... yes?

"Which of these do you regularly drink" ... "Maple syrup"

I have responded to the survey

twice

now, how can we weaponize surveys

it's boring being the only person who chats in here

sometimes I feel like I'm literally talking to myself

10:40 AM

@kalina that'll happen

I'm taking the survey

it's odd

its from xkcd, odd is assumed

@kalina so was that as your two different online personas?

no if I were going to do that it would be like 37

I did once for me and once for silly

interesting

@kalina the survey or something else?

"Do you know your Myers-Briggs type?"

no, I didn't

but...

10:52 AM

@kalina you do now?

INFP
Introvert(16%) iNtuitive(12%) Feeling(6%) Perceiving(9%)
You have slight preference of Introversion over Extraversion (16%)
You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%)
You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (6%)
You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (9%)

IIRC (it's been a while since I did mine) I was/am INTP or INTJ

I was more expecting an "introverted... lol"

but then if I think it about it I guess by the fact this conversation is occurring on the internet there is a significantly higher chance that everybody here is introverted

think it's my habit of living in relative silence when not working that threw that one

"INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities."

that's pretty accurate except it's not really rose-colored as it is turmoil and blood everywhere color

@kalina yeah Introverted IT people is a bit of a Cliche

heck the fact that we get people on here, who are on an Internet chat room and still stay quiet!

I also strongly agree with this:

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

although obviously it requires me understanding what I'm translating

10:58 AM

@kalina The art to doing that, I always think, is in putting yourself in the shoes of your audience

I always try to do that when I'm writing talks

translating emotion into sound

the more I use Windows Phone the more I both simultaneously love and hate it

@kalina did you see the first Win Mobile 10 devices getting outed at IFA today..

windowscentral.com/…

no I haven't newsed in a week or so

everytime I see a picture of the p85d I'm like :o I want I want I want

@kalina yeah I know what you mean, I would reaaaaalllly like one of those

but I don't have $120k to spare

11:14 AM

it would be impractical, they don't have a long enough range

I like my toys but there is certain amount of silly required to buy toys that are that expensive and are going to be used that little

@kalina it's not too bad for UK use but the supercharger network is woeful in Scotland at the moment

So until that got better, it would be kinda' pointless

I need something with a larger range

recharging is fine, but filling up a tank with gas takes 90 seconds

@kalina IIRC it's like 250 miles? For almost every trip I do that's fine

I like the idea of EV car + solar panels == free fuel

I do more than 230 miles like every weekend

in fact

I do more than 230 miles like each day of every weekend

@kalina do you have to drive or do you have a sidekick for that?

that duration of driving on a day would be unpleasant if I had to do it a lot.

11:19 AM

depends on the day/location/how sociable I'm feeling

sometimes I honestly couldn't bare to be in the presence of another person on the way home

other times I need it or I may die

unfortunately, knowing which state I will be in isn't something I've ever worked out how to predict

@kalina actually that joke doesn't make sense but in my head it was bear not bare

I frequently get half way home and just go "cba with this" and find a hotel

@kalina nice to have that option, driving tired is bad

it's not always tired, complete lack of focus is far more dangerous than tired

at least if you're tired you're still kinda focussing on the thing you should be

@kalina dunno when I get eyes droopy tired I hate carrying on driving, as I know my reflexes won't be at their best

11:29 AM

"droopy tired" is like crying?

eyes watering up like somebody just shattered your entire world and there's nothing you can do about it

"nooo I can't rub my eyes I'll get eyeliner ALL OVER MY FACE"

@kalina maybe not quite that much... and of course I don't have eyeliner issues.

well eyeliner is the best

it's like one of the few bits of makeup I actually feel I need

@kalina yeah unless I was going for a New Romantic/Goth/Eddy Izzard look, it probably wouldn't be for me

this is just the better of the rories and kalina daytime chat show today isn't it

2

Windows 10 has broken something so... fundamental

The new Windows Update will pop up and tell you to schedule a reboot to apply updates

every time I've done this so far it has failed, meaning I get back to my PC with a "we failed to install updates, please re-schedule"

and it matters not how many times I do this

the only way to apply updates is to stop what I'm doing when it asks and reboot

also, it keeps telling me that a time period that is statistically the point in time that I am at peak working efficiency is the best time to reboot

how can get you something so simple so incredibly wrong

it's ok I will just chat with myself

s/chat/play/

JukEboX

11:47 AM

And so I say ... "GOOD MORROW ALL!"

@kalina hmm I've not seen that one before

no

@kalina sounds like you have a bad update somewhere...

well I wouldn't know because it's not like Microsoft announces what they're updating anymore

"This patch fixes an issue."

"This patch adds a feature."

"This patch is a patch."

@kalina yeah but users don't need to know that stuff

it's just a patch, MS knows best

JukEboX

11:52 AM

"This patch causes an issue."
"This patch breaks your driver."

@RоryMcCune are Microsoft liable for loss of earnings when they fuck up the main tool I use to do my job?

No? Then Microsoft have no rights to make that assumption on my behalf.

@kalina heh that's the greatest scam in history, software makers are liable for smeg all, not shipping a good product, not providing security updates nuffink

if you clicked "I accept" on those T&Cs

@RоryMcCune I'd like to see say... an airline manufacturer... get away with the same deal

"sorry, no landing gear until the next release"

"yeah we should have probably told you that before you took off"

"oh and you have a maximum flight time of 37 minutes"

now if only I could create bowel movements with dubstep

that would teach the world

@kalina heck pretty much any other product on planet has a basic level of liabilty for working

@kalina isn't that the premise of the south park episode about "the brown noise"?

basically yes

I reckon dubstep is the correct genre due to the bass sweepings

get some wubwubwubwub going on in the 5Hz to 15Hz range

which is below the frequency range of what I usually even allow to exist in anything I make

since I usually filter out everything below 18Hz

sudden arrhythmic death syndrome caused by vibrations from loud bass notes

12:01 PM

@kalina sounds like a good way to go.

@kalina INFP? no surprise here I guess.

<3

12:13 PM

"the better of the rories" :))

xkcd survey done

@M'vy yeah had to pin that one :op

@RоryMcCune I'd be disapointed if you haven't

Ah man, @kalina did subtly change her avatar

wasn't that subtle

Rainbow Dash is either looking at something she really really likes or is high on uppers

subtle enough I'd say

whereas before she was obviously cleaning the screen by licking it

because licking the screen is the best way to clean it

12:34 PM

Clearly

12:53 PM

o

maybe that's just me then

apparently a smart phone screen is a source of extreme levels of bacteria

I wonder if that's a valid method of confirming who a device belongs to

@kalina rly I wouldn't have thought glass was a good home to bacteria (but then IANAB)

IANAB?

I am not a blueberry either

or a blackberry

or any other kind of berry because color has nothing to do with it

@kalina Biologist

:op

biologist?

@kalina yeah the kind of person who would know whether glass was a good home for Bacteria

12:57 PM

I am not a bitch either

Thomas Pornin

@RоryMcCune Within context, it should have meant "I am not a bacteria"

@ThomasPornin yeah that would've fit too